E12 - The Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Viola
    Grandpa Auri!
[00:03] Viola
    Buy me a mithril sword!
[00:06] Auri
    Sure!
[00:14] Auri
    I mean, if your mama says it's okay.
[00:18] Alyssa
    I find this conversation suspicious.
[00:20] Alyssa
    Stand a little further away!
[00:21] Auri
    Don't be so cold. I told you,
    that was a misunderstanding!
[00:26] Auri
    Think about how I feel, finding out
    I hit on my teenage granddaughter!
[00:32] Alyssa
    Yeah, I... Yeah.
[00:36] Viola
    I'm really sorry for how I acted
    when I misunderstood.
[00:38] Viola
    Trying to poison you, pressuring you
    psychologically, and everything...
[00:43] Auri
    Hearing it out loud, that really was mean.
[00:47] Auri
    Eh, don't worry about it.
[00:50] Auri
    Could've been worse—at least you didn't start
    breaking my bones the second you met me.
[00:53] Viola
    Of course I wouldn't do something like that!
[00:58] Viola
    Mama?
[01:00] Alyssa
    Say one more weird thing,
    and I'll fill your mouth with clay.
SIGN    Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch
SIGN    Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch
SIGN    Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch
SIGN    Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch
SIGN    Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch
SIGN    The Family Circumstances
     of the Irregular Witch
[02:37] Viola & Alyssa
    "The Family Circumstances
    of the Irregular Witch"!
[02:42] Auri
    Anyway, I want to spend some time
    with just my daughter and granddaughter.
[02:48] Auri
    Why are you here?
[02:50] Luna & Giriko
    For the entertainment value.
[02:52] Auri
    Go home!
[02:54] Auri
    Actually—
[02:55] Auri
    You two shouldn't have kept Viola
    a secret from me! Why did you?
[02:59] Luna
    Alyssa said not to tell you.
[03:01] Auri
    What?!
[03:02] Giriko
    Honestly, we thought it'd
    be better to tell you.
[03:05] Luna
    Mm-hmm!
[03:07] Giriko
    But we couldn't deny she had a point
    about you being inappropriate for kids.
[03:11] Luna
    So we kept it from you until now.
[03:15] Alyssa
    I'm sorry. I am starting to feel guilty,
    even if it's kinda too late...
[03:20] Auri
    That's right.
[03:21] Auri
    Take pity on your poor father.
    Be kind to him!
[03:23] Auri
    And if you've kept her secret
    from anyone else, tell them, too!
[03:27] Alyssa
    Well, actually you're more or less
    the only one who didn't know about Viola.
[03:34] Auri
    Also, aren't these two just as inappropriate?!
[03:37] Giriko
    Pardon?
[03:37] Luna
    Don't take it out on us.
[03:40] Alyssa
    That's not—
[03:42] Alyssa
    That's not...
[03:45] Alyssa
    That's not true!
[03:46] Auri
    Don't lie to yourself.
[03:48] Alyssa
    That's... not true...
[03:51] Auri
    Anyway...
[03:53] Auri
    If everyone knew but me,
    that means Fennel was in on it.
[03:58] Auri
    I'll invite him here and kill him.
[04:00] Alyssa
    Don't do that!
[04:01] Viola
    You know Fennel too, Grandpa?!
[04:04] Auri
    Yep. I treat him like a little brother.
[04:08] Alyssa
    Whoa!
[04:12] Fennel
    Why'd you call?
[04:13] Auri
    Hey, Fennel. I'll kill you if you're
    not at Alyssa's place in five minutes.
[04:17] Fennel
    Say what?!
[04:18] Viola
    He's mentioned murder twice
    in a really short time.
[04:22] Narrator
    Several dozen minutes later...
[04:33] Fennel
    What?! What's this about?!
[04:36] Auri
    This will be your grave.
[04:39] Fennel
    Where's my "Hello"?!
[04:41] Luna
    Fennel, long time no see!
    Let's talk about romance!
[04:45] Giriko
    Let me sip the essence of first love!
[04:49] Fennel
    What's with this group?
    Is this the Toy with Fennel Club?!
[04:54] Fennel
    Don't you smile like that!
[04:57] Alyssa
    Hey, stop picking on Fennel.
[05:00] Fennel
    Swoon!
[05:01] Luna
    Come on, we were just teasing.
[05:03] Giriko
    What she said.
[05:04] Alyssa
    No teasing younger people!
[05:07] Viola
    Grandpa!
[05:09] Viola
    Fennel makes eyes at Mama.
    Shouldn't you do something about him?
[05:14] Auri
    I don't see the problem.
[05:16] Auri
    I know he's trustworthy, after all.
[05:19] Auri
    This is worlds better than her
    bringing home some random jerk.
[05:23] Fennel
    Auri! I'm touched.
[05:25] Auri
    I don't think for a second he
    has a chance with her, though.
[05:30] Fennel
    He looks down on me.
[05:35] Fennel
    So he finally found out, huh?
[05:38] Alyssa
    Sorry to mix you up in this.
[05:40] Fennel
    No, it's fine!
[05:41] Auri
    Stop trying to make yourself look good!
[05:43] Auri
    How about I tell her you puked
    at Glind's place the other day?!
[05:46] Fennel
    You just did!
[05:47] Narrator
    This man not only arrived an hour late,
[05:49] Narrator
    but already drunk and covered with
    someone else's blood for some reason!
[05:54] Narrator
    This man had to clean blood
    from his entryway!
[05:58] Narrator
    This man got sick from the blood smell
    and vomited 30 seconds later!
[06:02] Viola
    Wow, so you're friends with Glind, too.
[06:06] Auri
    Yep. The three of us sometimes
    have dinner together.
[06:08] Viola
    Me, too!
[06:11] Auri
    Then he knew, too?
[06:14] Fennel
    Uhhh... yeah.
[06:16] Fennel
    I introduced him to her. For reasons.
[06:19] Alyssa
    He's even come to visit us a few times!
[06:25] Auri
    Even he knew before me?
[06:28] Fennel
    Hey... you're not crying, are you?
[06:31] Fennel
    It's really uncomfortable to see
    a man in his 300s cry, you know!
[06:36] Auri
    You all locked me out!
     I can't even deal with this!
[06:39] Auri
    I'll beat Fennel to a pulp to punish you!
[06:42] Fennel
    Punish everyone equally!
[06:43] Giriko
    Sheesh.
[06:45] Luna
    Aw, what will it take
    to make you feel better?
[06:49] Auri
    Worship me and pledge your loyalty.
[06:52] Giriko
    Don't instantly try to take advantage.
[06:55] Alyssa
    I'm sure you don't want to
    hear this from me,
[06:58] Alyssa
    but I notice you did visit Fennel and Glind.
SIGN    Hmph!
[07:02] Auri
    You've got it all wrong—
    I told you, there was a warrant out!
[07:06] Auri
    I was avoiding you because I didn't
    want you to get dragged into it.
[07:11] Auri
    But I didn't care if they did.
[07:13] Fennel
    You never told me
    about any warrant, old man!
[07:17] Giriko
    You're the king of good-for-nothings!
[07:19] Luna
    What did you do? Did you
    finally end up killing someone?
[07:23] Auri
    What do you mean, "finally"?!
[07:24] Auri
    It was just a guy falsely accusing me
    because I slept with his wife!
[07:28] Giriko
    How much is your bounty?
[07:30] Auri
    Don't try to sell me!
    And the charges were dropped!
[07:33] Fennel
    You should've taken the opportunity
    to atone for all your crimes.
[07:37] Auri
    What did you just say?!
[07:41] Viola
    Everyone gets along so well.
[07:43] Alyssa
    I-I guess so...
[07:46] Viola
    I want to meet Grandma, too.
[07:50] Viola
    What kind of person is she?
[07:53] Alyssa
    What kind of...
[07:59] Alyssa
    ...person?
[08:00] Viola
    That's the part you're stuck on?!
[08:03] Horned Mother
    Mother!
[08:04] Blood-Spewing Mother
    Mommy!
[08:05] Phoenix Mother
    I am Mother.
[08:06] Alyssa
    I'm pretty sure it's not
    what you're thinking!
[08:09] Alyssa
    Like I said before, she's a very free spirit!
[08:12] Viola
    Free spirit?
[08:14] Alyssa
    You could say she's hard to pin down...
    or maybe hard to understand...
[08:19] Alyssa
    She's sort of mysterious.
[08:25] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    Giving birth is just
    the result of the process.
[08:30] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    At least, that's what I think,
[08:34] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    although I'm sure it would
    make some people angry.
[08:38] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    I won't say anything
    against those who revere it,
[08:41] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    and I know from experience how hard it is.
[08:45] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    But there isn't necessarily a direct
    connection between blood ties and love.
[08:51] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    So only two things are important:
[08:56] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    taking responsibility for another life,
[08:59] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    and wishing the best for them.
[09:04] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    Perfectly simple, right?
[09:06] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    There are plenty of people in this
    world who can't do those things,
[09:09] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    or who stop being able to.
[09:12] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    But you?
[09:15] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    I believe that you can.
[09:21] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    That's my answer to your question
    "Aren't you against me raising a child?"
[09:26] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    Any other questions?
[09:28] (Flashback) Alyssa
    N-No, that's okay!
[09:32] (Flashback) Alyssa
    Oh, sorry. It's okay, honey.
[09:35] (Flashback) Alyssa
    There, there.
[09:38] (Flashback) Alyssa
    You're such a good girl.
[09:42] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    I love you, Alyssa.
[09:48] (Flashback) Alyssa's Mother
    I wish for your happiness
    every moment I live.
[09:59] Alyssa
    I guess the shortest description would be,
[10:02] Alyssa
    "my mom that I love"!
[10:06] Giriko
    Take that!
[10:07] Luna
    Poke, poke!
[10:09] Viola
    Then...
[10:11] Viola
    ...what about your dad?
[10:21] Viola
    Are you okay, Grandpa?
[10:24] Auri
    Yeah...
[10:26] Alyssa
    I'm sorry. I'm the one at fault here,
    so please stop abusing him.
[10:32] Luna
    If you say so, Alyssa.
[10:34] Giriko
    Fine.
[10:37] Narrator
    The grandfather who got too full of himself
[10:40] Narrator
    had been beaten black
    and blue in a counterattack.
[10:42] Alyssa
    I have an idea!
[10:45] Alyssa
    Dad, if you want to know more about Viola,
    let's look at some photos!
[10:49] Auri
    Nice!
[10:50] Alyssa
    Here are the albums!
[10:54] Auri
    You sure that isn't an encyclopedia
    of world history?
[11:00] Alyssa
    Look here!
[11:05] Alyssa
    This brings back memories!
    Look, isn't this one cute?
[11:09] Auri
    Let's have a look.
[11:10] Viola
    What is it?
[11:13] Alyssa
    She's potty-flying!
[11:15] Viola
    Seriously, what?!
[11:22] (Flashback) Alyssa
    Over here, Viola! Look this way!
[11:25] Auri
    Nice! Your classic "magically
    gifted kid" behavior!
[11:30] Auri
    You were a prodigy, huh Viola?
[11:32] Viola
    Was it like flying on a broomstick?
SIGN    Potty
[11:41] Auri
    These are adorable! Too good.
[11:45] Alyssa
    I'm glad you're enjoying them.
[11:47] Giriko
    Shall I narrate a few charming little
    anecdotes that photos alone can't convey?
[11:52] Luna
    Look here!
[11:54] Alyssa
    No, don't work him up!
[11:59] Alyssa
    Look, you caused unnecessary violence!
[12:02] Luna
    Anyway, those were eventful times.
[12:03] Alyssa
    Dad!
[12:07] (Flashback) Alyssa
    Viola's talking a lot lately!
[12:11] (Flashback) Alyssa
    Maybe she's a genius! I know, I sound silly.
[12:15] (Flashback) Luna
    You're such a doting mom.
[12:17] (Flashback) Giriko
    Try saying something, honey!
[12:21] (Flashback) Young Viola
    Nyonyunee! Maamou aniuu toroaryo numonidaa!
[12:28] (Flashback) Giriko
    Sh-She's already chanting
    spells at this age?!
[12:31] (Flashback) Luna
    She absolutely is a genius.
[12:33] (Flashback) Alyssa
    No, that's just baby talk...
[12:37] Alyssa
    I told you to stop that!
[12:39] Giriko
    Remember how we babysat you
    when Alyssa had to be out?
[12:43] Viola
    Uh-huh.
[12:45] (Flashback) Giriko
    Hey, little Viola!
[12:48] (Flashback) Luna
    All right, it's time to tidy up.
[12:51] (Flashback) Giriko
    If this place isn't clean, we'll leave!
[12:55] (Flashback) Young Viola
    No! Don't leave!
[12:58] (Flashback) Young Viola
    I wanna play with aunties forever!
[13:02] (Flashback) Giriko & Luna
    Viola...
[13:04] (Flashback) Young Viola
    Don't go!
[13:06] (Flashback) Alyssa
    I'm home.
[13:07] (Flashback) Young Viola
    Mama!
[13:09] (Flashback) Young Viola
    Mama!
[13:11] (Flashback) Young Viola
    Mama!
[13:14] (Flashback) Young Viola
    Mama, Mama!
[13:15] (Flashback) Alyssa
    Yes, yes, I'm home.
[13:18] (Flashback) Alyssa
    Did you behave yourself?
[13:19] (Flashback) Young Viola
    Uh-huh!
[13:20] (Flashback) Alyssa
    Thanks, you two.
[13:22] (Flashback) Giriko
    Ah...
[13:23] (Flashback) Luna
    Right...
[13:25] Giriko
    We can't win against true love, huh?
[13:28] Luna
    Yes, we're just flings.
[13:31] Viola
    Phrasing.
[13:34] Auri
    Seriously! Alyssa!
[13:38] Fennel
    You should count your blessings.
[13:41] Fennel
    With me, she...
[13:44] (Flashback) Alyssa
    Well, um, I need to go...
[13:51] (Flashback) Alyssa
    Are you okay?
[13:52] (Flashback) Fennel
    Go! Before she escapes!
[13:58] Narrator
    Several dozen minutes later...
[14:03] (Flashback) Fennel
    I'll play with you...
    so stop being cranky already...
[14:07] (Flashback) Young Viola
    I wanna play pretend witch!
[14:10] (Flashback) Fennel
    "Pretend witch"?
[14:19] (Flashback) Young Viola
    You be the sacrifice.
[14:21] (Flashback) Fennel
    This looks like more than "pretend"!
[14:27] (Flashback) Young Viola
    If we can't play witches, then walk!
    I wanna walk to town!
[14:30] (Flashback) Fennel
    Okay, okay!
[14:37] (Flashback) Young Viola
    Walk! Walk in town!
[14:40] (Flashback) Fennel
    Hey!
[14:44] (Flashback) Fennel
    It's dangerous to just start running.
[14:47] (Flashback) Fennel
    Let's go.
[14:48] (Flashback) Young Viola
    'Kay!
[14:51] (Flashback) Old Lady
    My goodness, you're cute!
[14:54] (Flashback) Old Lady
    Are you on a walk with your daddy?
[14:57] (Flashback) Fennel
    Aw, well...
[15:01] (Flashback) Young Viola
    No. He's a stranger.
[15:03] (Flashback) Fennel
    Hey, no, that is not funny!
[15:07] (Flashback) Old Lady
    You filthy...
[15:10] (Flashback) Old Lady
    ...kidnapper!
[15:20] Viola
    I never imagined that would happen
    if I denied you being my father...
[15:25] Fennel
    It's a hard world we live in.
[15:29] Auri
    Hearing all this reminds me
    of my parenting days.
[15:32] Viola
    With Mama?
[15:33] Viola
    I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know!
[15:34] Alyssa
    Hey!
[15:35] Auri
    She's really interested.
[15:35] Viola
    Tell me, tell me, tell me!
[15:36] Giriko
    Now, now.
[15:38] Luna
    Let him do it.
[15:38] Viola
    Tell me, tell me, tell me!
[15:41] Auri
    Alyssa was the opposite of you.
[15:43] Auri
    As a kid, she didn't have much magic,
    and she was sick a lot.
[15:47] Auri
    She was a regular guest at the hospital.
[15:50] Viola
    That sounds hard.
[15:53] Auri
    And me...
[15:55] (Flashback) Sentry
    You there!
[15:57] (Flashback) Sentry
    What's your relationship with that girl?
[16:00] (Flashback) Auri
    I was a regular guest of the guards.
[16:03] (Flashback) Auri
    Are you blind or stupid?!
    I'm obviously her dad!
[16:05] (Flashback) Sentry
    What?!
[16:07] Viola
    That sounds hard...
[16:09] Auri
    But Alyssa was a really together kid.
[16:13] Auri
    Even on the rare occasions
    she got fretful...
[16:15] (Flashback) Auri
    There, there, don't cry.
[16:21] (Flashback) Auri
    Look at that cloud!
[16:24] (Flashback) Auri
    It looks like poop!
[16:26] (Flashback) Young Alyssa
    Adults shouldn't say stuff
    like that too loudly.
[16:31] (Flashback) Auri
    Not what I envisioned, but you
    stopped crying, so it's all good!
[16:35] Luna
    That must be thanks to you.
[16:36] Auri
    Don't compliment me, silly.
[16:38] Giriko
    Children learn from their parents' examples.
[16:45] Auri
    Fennel, I never guessed you were
    with me on team Constantly Interrogated.
[16:48] Auri
    You shoulda told me!
[16:50] Fennel
    Don't count me in your sad company.
[16:52] Auri
    Huh? All guys get interrogated
    when they walk around with kids.
[16:55] Fennel
    An actual magnet would
    attract less trouble than you!
[17:00] Auri
    Wait a sec...
[17:02] Auri
    Do you mean the world's fathers don't
    all get interrogated over and over
[17:06] Auri
    until every guard in their
    town recognizes them?
[17:10] Fennel
    Glad you got to learn the truth!
[17:14] Luna
    I guess he's the type who
    doesn't look totally bad alone,
[17:17] Luna
    but gets a buff to his Criminality Vibe
    when he's with a kid.
[17:22] Giriko
    Yep.
[17:23] Auri
    What is she, equipment?!
[17:25] Auri
    I'm not convinced! I'm going to ask Glind.
[17:29] Fennel
    Don't! You'll only get hurt!
[17:31] Glind
    Auri? What's up?
[17:34] Auri
    Glind! Have you ever been questioned by
    guards while you were walking with a kid?
[17:37] Glind
    Huh? No.
[17:39] Auri
    Die!
[17:39] Alyssa
    High-speed rudeness!
[17:41] Auri
    Why, dammit?!
[17:42] Giriko
    Anyone would question you.
[17:43] Luna
    You can't blame them.
[17:45] Auri
    Shut up!
[17:46] Viola
    Don't be sad, Grandpa.
[17:48] Auri
    Viola...
[17:48] Giriko
    You should do some self-reflection
    about your lifestyle.
[17:51] Phoenix
    Is this the uproar which
    interrupteth my cleansing?
[17:52] Luna
    Exactly.
[17:53] Auri
    You'll never know how I feel!
[17:54] Fennel
    You're here, too?!
[17:56] Jinn Eel A
    Cool!
[17:57] Jinn Eel B
    Down!
[17:57] Jinn Eel C
    Time!
[17:59] Viola
    What do you think?
[18:01] Phoenix
    Such a young life. I am most interested.
[18:05] Viola
    It's kind of fun to hear
    about your own childhood, huh?
[18:09] Alyssa
    You're still a child in our eyes.
[18:14] Auri
    And you're still a child in my eyes, Alyssa.
[18:18] Auri
    Poke, poke!
[18:20] Alyssa
    Well, true, but...
[18:23] Auri
    And now my little girl is a fine mother.
[18:28] Auri
    It's impressive.
[18:32] Phoenix
    Indeed. Ye mortals do a fine job.
[18:38] Phoenix
    Impressive, when ye are all
    but infants in my eyes.
[18:46] Alyssa
    Well... true, but...
[18:51] Narrator
    This comment from an everlasting being
    was so grand in scale
[18:56] Narrator
    that the group did not know how to react.
[18:59] All but Phoenix
    Huh? What?
[20:58] Viola
    Mama! Wait!
[21:01] Alyssa
    Viola?
[21:03] Viola
    I want to come, too.
[21:05] Alyssa
    It's just some shopping.
[21:09] Narrator
    Once upon a time, there was
    a witch family who lived in a forest.
[21:10] Alyssa
    I'll tell you right now,
    we're not buying anything extra.
[21:13] Viola
    Aw, why not?
[23:08] Viola
    I'd like this, please!
[23:11] Proprietor
    Well, my goodness.
[23:13] Proprietor
    The witch and her apprentice!
[23:15] Viola
    Hello!
[23:16] Proprietor
    I see you're as close as ever.
[23:21] Viola
    Well, yeah, because...
[23:23] Alyssa
    ...we're family!
[23:28] Proprietor
    Your mother and your teacher, huh?
[23:31] Viola
    That's right!
[23:33] Phoenix
    Mother.
[23:34] Alyssa
    We're still being misunderstood!