E10 - The Troubled Circumstances of the Confined Son / The Public Park Circumstances of Heart vs. Tongue

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:17] Pound
    Good morning!
[00:21] Pound
    My son!
[00:27] Pound
    It's breakfast time.
[00:33] Son
    Don't want any.
[00:35] Pound
    My son?
[00:50] Son
    Cut that out!
[00:58] Son
    Why'd you whip out your Stradivarius?!
[01:00] Son
    It's too early for pomp and circumstance!
[01:03] Pound
    I thought some lovely music
    might lure you out of there.
[01:07] Son
    You think I'd just fall into
    some ancient folktale trap?!
[01:10] Son
    Just leave me alone!
[01:12] Pound
    Huh?
[01:14] Son
    I refuse to leave my room today!
SIGN    Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch
SIGN    Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch
SIGN    Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch
SIGN    Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch
SIGN    Family Circumstances of the Irregular Witch
SIGN    The Troubled Circumstances
    of the Confined Son
[02:48] Son
    "The Troubled Circumstances
    of the Confined Son."
[02:53] Viola
    I see.
[02:55] Pound
    What if he never comes out again?
[02:58] Pound
    Is his heart troubled?!
[03:00] Viola
    You're overreacting, Uncle.
[03:02] Viola
    I'm sure he's just being
     his usual bratty self.
[03:05] Viola
    Hey, we have a shopping date!
    I even came to pick you up!
[03:10] Son
    I feel bad about that, but I really
    don't want to leave today!
[03:15] Viola
    Why not?
[03:16] Viola
    Did your whole body turn into butts?
SIGN    Grotesque!!
    The Butt Man
[03:18] Narrator
    The Grotesque Butt Man!
[03:21] Son
    If it had, I'd be saying "the
    rest of my life," not "today"!
[03:24] Son
    Where'd you even come up with that?!
[03:26] Viola
    I made friends with some
    fairies like that a while back.
[03:29] Narrator
    Sweet Cheeks and Hip.
[03:31] Son
    Who are you associating with?!
[03:34] Pound
    This is our chance, Viola!
[03:36] Pound
    Lure him out of there by making him curious!
[03:39] Viola
    Right! You're so smart, Uncle!
[03:44] Viola
    Are you curious about
    who I'm associating with?
[03:47] Son
    Huh? U-Uh, not really.
[03:50] Viola
    Fun fact: I recently discovered
    that Mama's parents are siblings.
[03:55] Son
    Let's not talk about this!
[03:56] Viola
    Come on, I know you're curious
    about the rest of the story!
[03:59] Viola
    If you wanna hear more, come out!
[04:01] Son
    No, don't tell me! I'm scared!
[04:01] Viola
    I know you wanna!
[04:03] Pound
    This backfired...
[04:06] Son
    Please stop!
[04:08] Pound
    Aw, I even made French toast piled
    with cream for breakfast!
[04:15] Son
    Th-That does sound good...
[04:18] Viola
    Aw, I even brought an album of Mama!
[04:22] Son
    That, I don't really understand.
[04:25] Viola
    You don't want to see it?!
[04:27] Son
    Just talk to me, please.
[04:29] Viola
    Sheesh. You're so prickly.
[04:33] Viola
    Back in the day...
[04:38] (Flashback) Young Viola
    Hurry!
[04:41] (Flashback) Young Son
    Oof...
[04:41] Viola
    ...you always followed me around,
    and it was so cute.
[04:45] Son
    Shut up! Stop talking about the past!
[04:52] (Flashback) Young Viola
    Are you okay?
[04:57] Viola
    Now you're in a rebellious phase
    and getting your buns split into six...
SIGN    Pull-Apart Bread
[05:01] Son
    Shut up about butts, too!
[05:03] Pound
    Hey! All this "shut up" is
    no way to talk to your friend!
[05:08] Viola
    It's fine. I don't sweat that stuff—
    I've known him forever.
[05:12] Viola
    We suckled the same boobies!
[05:14] Son
    Phrasing!
[05:19] Pound
    I'm sorry for your trouble.
[05:22] Pound
    He just doesn't listen to a word I say.
[05:25] Viola
    Well, you have a hard time getting angry.
[05:29] Pound
    I'll take responsibility for spoiling him.
[05:32] Pound
    I can't give you my head,
    but take my nipples with you!
[05:35] Son
    Why?
[05:36] Viola
    I mean, there are monsters who
    specialize in twisting off nipples, but...
[05:40] Son
    There are?!
[05:45] Twisting Monster
    Revolution!
[05:50] Son
    Are we in hell?
[05:52] Viola
    I feel bad for Uncle, so I won't
    take his head or his nipples.
[05:56] Viola
    I'm gonna solve this quick with magic,
    like the witch I am!
[06:00] Pound
    Oh, that sounds promising!
[06:02] Viola
    Go, unlocking magic!
[06:10] Viola
    He's holding it closed on the other side.
[06:13] Pound
    Now magic is irrelevant...
[06:15] Viola
    Ugh, I'm over this!
[06:18] Viola
    He'll have to come out if I light it on fire.
[06:21] Pound
    There are other options!
[06:22] Viola
    But if Auntie Lira finds out, she'll
    settle things ASAP and not nicely,
[06:27] Viola
    so it's only a matter of time.
[06:29] Pound
    Is violence the only answer?!
[06:30] Pound
    I'm asking you to fix it because
    I feel bad when he's hurt!
[06:35] Viola
    Easier said than done...
[06:38] Son
    I'll never bow to that old hag!
[06:41] Viola
    See? He just jinxed himself.
[06:46] Viola
    Where is Auntie Lira, anyway?
[06:48] Pound
    She went to the market.
    She could be back any minute.
[06:52] Viola
    We don't have much time, then.
[06:55] Viola
    At least tell us why! What happened?
[07:00] Son
    Don't wanna say.
[07:01] Viola
    Do you prefer the "vio" or the "lence"?
[07:04] Pound
    Calm down, Viola!
[07:06] Pound
    It's not good to force people.
[07:09] Pound
    Remember the story
    "The North Wind and the Sun"?
[07:12] Viola
    The one with the contest to make
    the traveler take off his coat?
[07:15] Pound
    Exactly!
[07:16] Pound
    The north wind tried to take it
    off by force, and failed.
[07:21] Pound
    But the sun shone down on him, slowly
    but surely coaxing him to take it off.
[07:29] Viola
    I get it! We'll smoke him out!
[07:31] Pound
    You understood the lesson?
[07:34] Sun
    Shine!
[07:39] Son
    Too hot!
[07:42] Son
    It's too hot!
[07:43] Son
    Hot! Hot! Hot!
[07:45] Pound
    You're using force!
[07:50] Pound
    Peacefully, Viola, please!
[07:55] Viola
    Okay. Phoenix!
[07:57] Phoenix
    I obey.
[08:00] Phoenix
    Canst thou hear me, human child?
[08:03] Son
    N-Now what?
[08:04] Phoenix
    Last-minute cancellations
    without a stated reason are not nice.
[08:09] Phoenix
    As the saying goeth, "The courtesies
    matter, even between friends."
[08:12] Phoenix
    Dost thou not think we ought to
    value manners more between friends?
[08:16] Son
    Yes, sir.
[08:17] Phoenix
    Canst thou be proud of this moment
    and the choice thou hast made?
[08:22] Son
    No, sir.
[08:27] Son
    I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry
    to even tell you why now,
[08:31] Son
    because it's a really stupid reason.
[08:34] Son
    I couldn't tell you because
    I was afraid I'd get laughed at.
[08:37] Viola
    Of course I won't laugh!
[08:40] Viola
    Whatever's worrying you,
    it's serious enough for you to hole up.
[08:42] Viola
    If anyone laughs at you, I'll beat them up.
[08:47] Viola
    We're childhood friends, right?
    Tell me anything!
[08:50] Son
    That's true. I was wrong!
[08:53] Viola
    Well? What happened?
[08:57] Son
    Right. The thing is...
[09:01] Son
    I can't get my bedhead under control.
[09:05] Lira
    I'm home!
[09:15] Lira
    Get out of there, you little punk!
[09:21] Son
    Fine, no one laughed at me!
[09:24] Pound
    But you got beaten up by Lira. I know.
[09:27] Pound
    Why worry about such little things, though?
[09:31] Pound
    You would've gotten to go out with Viola.
[09:35] Son
    That's why, duh.
[09:37] Son
    No! Don't get the wrong idea!
    It's an aesthetic issue for me!
[09:43] Son
    Listen to me! And stop making that face!
[09:47] Son
    I'm telling you, you're wrong!
[09:54] Alyssa
    Viola?
[09:55] Alyssa
    Huh?
[09:57] Alyssa
    Maybe she's in her room?
[10:02] Alyssa
    Viola?
[10:05] Alyssa
    Huh?
[10:06] Alyssa
    I don't see you mixing potions
    very often. What are you making?
[10:10] Viola
    A potion to fix bedhead.
[10:15] Viola
    So cute!
[10:17] Alyssa
    I'm so glad he was born safely.
[10:21] Guita
    Thank you, everyone.
[10:23] Narrator
    Guita's egg safely hatched.
[10:27] Lira
    All right, let's go there
    to boost our moods!
[10:30] Viola
    Can I pet him?
[10:31] Alyssa
    "Go"? Where?
[10:32] Guita
    Of course.
[10:33] Lira
    The park, where else? It's his debut.
SIGN    The Public Park Circumstances of Heart vs. Tongue
[10:40] Lady
    "The Public Park Circumstances
    of Heart vs. Tongue."
[10:47] Mom 1
    And he comes home late every night!
[10:50] Cucky Roux
    Hurry!
[10:52] Tsuzuku
    Hurrying!
[10:54] Lira
    This is a get-together spot for mothers, too,
[10:58] Lira
    so meeting people here will
    build your support network.
[11:01] Guita
    That makes sense.
[11:04] Lady
    My goodness!
[11:05] Lady
    Oh, my goodness me!
[11:09] Lady
    My goodness, I thought
    I sensed a plebe nearby...
[11:15] Lady
    And here you are, Lira!
[11:18] Lira
    Lady.
[11:19] Guita
    Who's she?
[11:20] Alyssa
    I don't know...
[11:22] Lira
    A wicked woman who picks fights
    with me every chance she gets.
[11:27] Lira
    She moved away years ago
    because of her husband's job,
[11:30] Lira
    but she recently came back.
[11:32] Lady
    You're so excessively large, we all
    notice you whether we want to or not.
[11:36] Lira
    I have to say, I didn't want to notice you.
[11:41] Lady
    Are those people behind you your friends?
    Why don't you introduce them?
[11:46] Lira
    No, thank you! What business
    do you have with me, exactly?
[11:51] Lady
    Oh, dear. I'm not allowed to speak
    with you unless I have business?
[11:57] Lady
    I messed up again!
SIGN    Lady
SIGN    Personality: Tsundere
SIGN    Age
[12:00] Lady
    I'm such an idiot! Why can't I ever
    tell Lira my true feelings?
[12:05] Lady
    The truth... The truth is...
[12:07] Lady
    "Your commanding presence
    and powerful frame are wonderful!"
[12:10] Lira
    Sparkle!
[12:12] Lady
    That's what I wanted to say!
[12:16] Lady
    It's been like this since we were children.
[12:19] (Flashback) Young Lady
    My goodness, Lira!
[12:21] (Flashback) Young Lira
    What?
[12:26] (Flashback) Young Lady
    Your clothes suit a peasant girl perfectly!
[12:29] (Flashback) Young Lira
    Say what?!
SIGN    Translation: They look good on you.
[12:32] Lady
    Why?! Now that I've moved back
    to my hometown,
[12:34] Lady
    I want to make friends this time!
[12:39] Lady
    However, rumor has it
[12:42] Lady
    that those three behind her
    are close friends with Lira.
[12:47] Lady
    Especially that tiny witch.
[12:50] Lady
    I won't cede the "best friend" title to her!
[12:52] Lady
    Eek!
[12:54] Lady
    Wh-Wh-What's the matter?
[12:56] Viola
    I thought I sensed animosity toward Mama.
[12:58] Lady
    P-Perhaps you imagined it?
[13:01] Lady
    I don't have time for this. Let's go, people!
[13:04] Lady
    Ah, wait—don't—wait—
[13:06] Lira
    What?! If you've got
    something to say, spit it out.
[13:10] Lady
    I—um—er—
[13:11] Lady
    Spit. It. Out!
[13:14] Lady
    Y-You there!
[13:17] Lady
    Is today your public park debut?
[13:20] Guita
    M-Me? Um, yes...
[13:24] Lady
    Let's have a park debut battle!
[13:27] Lady
    What am I saying?!
[13:30] Lady
    As luck would have it,
[13:34] Lady
    my friend Birdy has a debut today, too!
[13:37] Birdy
    Huh?
[13:38] Lady
    Shall we say the side that socializes
    with the most people wins?
[13:43] Lady
    Now she looks put on the spot.
    I'm sorry, Birdy!
[13:47] Lira
    Seriously? Of course we won't
    do your dumb competition.
[13:51] Lady
    Thank goodness she doesn't want to!
[13:52] Lady
    Now I'll change the subject...
[13:55] Lady
    Ah, I see you have enough sense
    not to fight battles you can't win!
[14:00] Lady
    I wish I'd stuffed rocks in my mouth!
[14:04] Lira
    Oh, it's on! And the losers are
    banned from this park for life!
[14:11] Lady
    I'm in hell whether I win or lose!
[14:15] Lady
    All right, we'll reconvene here in an hour.
[14:18] Lira
    You bet we will! Get ready to go home!
[14:25] Lira
    I'm sorry. I lost my temper.
[14:28] Guita
    It's fine! Socializing was our goal anyway.
[14:32] Guita
    Right?
[14:33] Lira
    If I have to, I'll take her to hell with me.
[14:37] Alyssa
    Those aren't words you
    should say in everyday life!
[14:41] Guita
    But it'll be an easy win.
    Everyone knows Lira.
[14:44] Mom with Kid A
    Look, it's Lira!
[14:45] Mom with Kid B
    Hello.
[14:46] Viola
    Good point! If Auntie starts
    the conversations, victory is ours.
[14:49] Lira
    Yep, relax and trust me.
[14:52] Lady
    Absolutely not!
[14:53] Lady
    It's against the rules for Lira
    to flirt with any women!
[14:58] Lira
    You're too close, you're
    annoying, and what rules?!
[15:01] Lady
    No creating partners, either!
[15:04] Papa
    I gotcha.
[15:09] Guita
    What now? I'm not a very social person...
[15:13] Viola
    It's okay. Lady forbid our
    surefire move, but we'll still help.
[15:17] Viola
    Why not start by talking
    to another mom who lays eggs?
SIGN    Lizardkin
SIGN    Harpy
[15:22] Guita
    Great idea!
[15:23] Guita
    A topic in common should make it
    easier to start a conversation.
[15:26] Viola
    There's someone right there!
[15:28] Guita
    Huh?
SIGN    Arachne
[15:32] Guita
    Not quite what I imagined.
[15:34] Arachne
    I feel you. Egg-raising has
    that side to it, huh?
[15:39] Guita
    So it happens to you, too!
[15:41] Narrator
    Surprisingly, they hit it off.
[15:47] Lira
    The competition is over how
    many people you interact with,
[15:50] Lira
    so why not approach groups?
[15:52] Guita
    Good plan!
[15:54] Viola
    Hey, how about them?
[15:57] Viola
    Excuse me!
[16:01] Viola
    Do you have a minute?
[16:03] Guita
    We don't!
[16:07] One-Eyed Demon Papa
    Hello, are you a new mother?
[16:10] Assassin Papa
    Cute kid.
[16:12] Skinhead Papa
    Hello there.
[16:14] Guita
    Oh, they're a group of dads.
[16:16] Guita
    Hello!
[16:18] Papa Group Kids
    Hello!
[16:20] Guita
    Phew! I get nervous
    around strangers, you know?
[16:25] Guita
    Could you invite some
    of your friends, Alyssa?
[16:27] Alyssa
    It's easier to talk to
    friends of friends, isn't it?
[16:32] Alyssa
    Hmm...
[16:34] Alyssa
    They all have work, though.
    They might not be able to come right away.
[16:38] Guita
    Yeah...
[16:40] Alyssa
    Someone who could come the moment I called...
[16:44] Alyssa
    Nope! Don't know any!
[16:46] Guita
    Oh, well.
[16:48] Viola
    On that topic, how about
    I do some summoning?
[16:51] Viola
    We'll attract parents and kids
    to us with cute monsters!
[16:53] Alyssa
    Phoen had plans today, though.
[16:57] (Flashback) Phoenix
    I'm going to go enjoy some croquet.
[17:00] Alyssa
    And Screechy's poison is dangerous...
[17:04] Viola
    Hmm, so the ones I can summon now are...
[17:07] Jinn Eels
    Yes we can, yeah!
[17:11] Guita
    Huh? Is that okay?
[17:12] Kid A
    Yay!
[17:17] Viola
    Live Food Lover is only dangerous to elves!
[17:21] Alyssa
    They're crowd favorites...
[17:23] Alyssa
    Wait, where's Guita?
[17:26] Lira
    Good lizard.
[17:29] Alyssa
    You're holding him, huh Lira?
[17:32] Lira
    Yeah, Guita seemed busy chatting,
    so I'm babysitting.
[17:39] Lira
    Good lizard.
[17:41] Guita
    Wow, I see!
[17:43] Mom A
    Yes, it's quite tough at that age.
[17:46] Mom B
    But the trouble you take
    makes you love them more!
[17:48] Guita
    That makes sense.
[17:50] Lira
    Now, now. Wait just a little longer, okay?
[17:54] Viola
    Don't cry.
[17:56] Lira
    Your mama will be back soon.
[17:56] Viola
    Peek-a-boo!
[17:59] Viola
    Peek-a-boo! It's me, Viola!
[18:03] Lady
    That's underhanded!
[18:06] Makia
    Yes, using magic is cheating!
[18:08] Birdy
    I agree!
[18:09] Lady
    How dare they have fun babysitting with Lira!
[18:12] Birdy/Makia
    That's the issue?
[18:14] Lady
    We can't dawdle here. We're going
    to talk to more people, too!
[18:18] Birdy/Makia
    Right!
[18:20] Lady
    Look alive!
[18:22] Birdy/Makia
    Right!
[18:24] Birdy's Daughter
    Mama, I wanna see the egg baby.
[18:26] Birdy
    What?
[18:27] ---
    Okay, okay, your mama...
[18:29] Birdy's Daughter
    Eggie!
[18:31] Birdy
    We can't, honey. That's Lady's enemy.
[18:35] Lady
    Birdy! We have to go all-out
    for the rest of our time!
[18:39] Birdy
    R-Right!
[18:41] Birdy's Daughter
    Eggie...
[18:42] Viola
    I don't see why they couldn't even look.
[18:46] Alyssa
    I should have spoken up from the beginning.
[18:51] Narrator
    Announcing the results!
[18:55] Lira
    I'm relieved that there'll be fewer
    places I have to see your face.
[19:00] Lady
    My goodness! It sounds like you're
    ready to leave. I applaud you.
[19:04] Alyssa
    It's a tie.
[19:07] Lady/Lira
    Huh?
[19:09] Alyssa
    It's a tie!
[19:10] Lady/Lira
    What?!
[19:11] Lady
    And who said you could decide?
[19:14] Lira
    Leave this to us. I gotta take
    this woman down a notch!
[19:17] Alyssa
    I acknowledge that
    the mothers were quite social.
[19:22] Alyssa
    But...
[19:24] Alyssa
    What about your children?
[19:27] Birdy
    She's right.
[19:30] Birdy
    I was so focused on me,
    she didn't get to play much...
[19:33] Guita
    I was the same.
[19:34] Birdy's Daughter
    Eggie.
[19:35] Lady
    B-But the contest—
[19:37] Alyssa
    You never specified which
    generation should socialize.
[19:41] (Flashback) Lady
    Shall we say the side that socializes
    with the most people wins?
[19:46] Alyssa
    It's important for guardians
    to get along, of course.
[19:49] Alyssa
    But isn't the most important thing
    whether the kids had fun?
[19:55] Alyssa
    So I say that both sides
    scored zero, and it's a tie.
[19:59] Alyssa
    I'm sorry, I should have
    told you in the beginning,
[20:02] Alyssa
    but I thought it'd be better
    to give you time.
[20:05] Lira
    I'm sorry I dragged you into my stupid fight.
[20:09] Guita
    No, I'm sorry!
[20:10] Lady
    Truly, I can't apologize enough.
[20:13] Birdy
    Please don't apologize!
[20:16] Alyssa
    Okay, soul-searching over!
[20:19] Alyssa
    Time to shake hands and make up.
[20:25] Alyssa
    Glance.
[20:27] Alyssa
    Glance, glance!
[20:31] Lady
    What?!
[20:33] Lady
    Did she notice my feelings and do this
    to settle our fight amicably?
[20:38] Lady
    That's crazy! Ridiculous! I love her!
[20:42] Lady
    Wh-Wh-What now?!
[20:45] Viola
    I thought I sensed you making eyes at Mama.
[20:47] Lady
    So either way I die?
[20:51] Lira
    Fine. Let's call a temporary truce.
[20:54] Lira
    Huh? Wait a second...
[20:57] Lady
    Shake hands?!
[20:59] Lira
    Come on.
[20:59] Lady
    Touch each other?!
[21:01] Lady
    Wait... Wait, wait, wait.
[21:03] Lady
    I need time to emotionally prepare myself!
[21:06] Lady
    Ah, we're so close!
[21:11] Lady
    You loser!
[21:13] Lady
    I don't like you at all!
[21:15] Lady
    So don't get the wrong idea!
[21:17] Birdy/Makia
    Lady?!
[21:19] Makia
    Please wait!
[21:21] Birdy
    Lady!
[21:22] Birdy's Daughter
    Bye-bye, eggie!
[21:25] Lira
    Get your butt back here!
[21:27] Lady
    I'm such an ass! A jerk! Scum!
[21:30] Lady
    Emotionally unstable! Hostile deviant!
[21:33] Lady
    But... But...
[21:36] Lady
    I touched her hand!
[21:39] Viola
    How should I put this?
[21:42] Guita
    Making friends is tough.
[21:46] Narrator
    In this strange way,
    everyone learned a lesson.
SIGN    Preview
[22:59] Phoenix
    Next time on The Family Circumstances
    of the Irregular Witch...
[23:02] Phoenix
    I am called Phoenix!
[23:04] Phoenix
    'Tis my duty to protect my
    contracted's domicile in her absence!
[23:08] Phoenix
    "The Home Alone Circumstances
    of the Familiars."
[23:10] Phoenix
    "The Weight Loss Circumstances
    of Corpulent Phoenix."
[23:13] Phoenix
    Et cetera.
SIGN    The Home Alone Circumstances
    of the Familiars
SIGN    The Romantic Advice Circumstances
    of the Men without Dates
SIGN    The Weight Loss Circumstances
SIGN    of Corpulent Phoenix
[23:14] Phoenix
    Keep ye sharp eyes on my every move!