E4 - I Turned Into Santa to Deliver Tomatoes

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:14] Kazuho
    Look, Ren-chon. I picked a tomato.
[00:19] Renge
    Tomato! Tomato!
[00:20] Renge
    It's one of the tomatoes I grew!
[00:23] Renge
    Is it ready to eat?
[00:25] Kazuho
    Yep.
[00:27] Kazuho
    Just make sure you rinse
    it off with water first.
[00:43] Renge
    This flavor is, without a doubt,
    the dressing of the sun!
[00:46] Kazuho
    I think you mean "blessing."
SIGN    Nonstop
SIGN    Episode 4
SIGN    I Turned Into Santa to Deliver Tomatoes
[02:22] Renge
    Hey, can I go pass out these
    tomatoes to everyone?
[02:26] Kazuho
    Oh, that's a good idea.
    They'll be so happy.
[02:33] Renge
    Okay, I'm gonna go give
    everyone some tomatoes!
[02:37] Renge
    I'll be a summer Santa Claus!
[02:40] Kazuho
    Wow, you're fired up.
[02:42] Kazuho
    Just don't get too carried
    away and end up lost.
[02:46] Renge
    Roger!
[02:49] Hotaru
    Pechi...
[02:52] Hotaru
    Your tummy's so soft!
[02:54] Hotaru
    You're so soft, Pechi!
[03:01] Hotaru
    Someone's here?
[03:03] Hotaru
    Wait just a sec.
[03:05] Hotaru
    Yes?
[03:06] Hotaru
    Oh, Ren-chan. Good morning.
[03:09] Renge
    Merry Summer Christmas!
[03:12] Hotaru
    Merry...?
[03:14] Hotaru
    Um... Did you come over to play?
[03:17] Renge
    I'd love to play,
[03:20] Renge
    but today, I came to deliver these.
[03:22] Renge
    Here. It's one of the tomatoes
    I personally grew.
[03:27] Hotaru
    Oh, wow! The tomatoes we
    planted in the spring?
[03:31] Hotaru
    I can have one?
[03:33] Renge
    You sure can.
[03:34] Renge
    And now I'll be taking my leave.
[03:38] Hotaru
    Oh, you're leaving already?
[03:41] Renge
    I'm gonna be Santa today and deliver
    these tomatoes to everyone!
[03:44] Hotaru
    Okay. Be careful.
[03:47] Renge
    'Kay!
[04:22] Renge
    Santa's job sure is hard work.
[04:25] Renge
    All that's left is Candy Store...
[04:29] Renge
    Wha?!
[04:30] Renge
    What's wrong? Why are you crying?!
[04:35] Shiori
    I don't...
[04:36] Shiori
    I don't know how to get home...
[04:40] Renge
    What?! Y-You're lost?!
[04:43] Renge
    You don't know where your house is?
[04:45] Shiori
    No...
[04:46] Renge
    Th-Then do you know which
    way you came from?
[04:52] Shiori
    Th-That way... above that...
[04:57] Shiori
    Below that...
[04:59] Shiori
    Tsukune!
[05:01] Renge
    Tsukune?!
[05:02] Renge
    Where did tsukune come from?!
[05:05] Shiori
    I don't know!
[05:07] Shiori
    What is tsukune?!
[05:09] Renge
    They're meatballs that you put in a hotpot!
[05:13] Shiori
    I want some tsukune...
[05:19] Renge
    H-Hey, I know!
[05:21] Renge
    You can have this tomato.
[05:33] Shiori
    I forgot to thank you for it...
[05:36] Renge
    You just did, so it's okay.
[05:39] Renge
    You're such a good girl.
[05:41] Renge
    Here, I'll take you to the police officer.
[05:45] Shiori
    Okay.
[06:07] Renge
    This is where the police officer is.
[06:10] Renge
    Going to see the police
    makes me kinda nervous...
[06:16] Renge
    W-Wait!
[06:17] Renge
    Even Santa would get in trouble
    for just charging in like that!
[06:22] Shiori
    Daddy! I'm back!
[06:24] Officer
    Welcome back.
[06:25] Renge
    What...
[06:27] Shiori
    I got lost, and she showed me the way home!
[06:30] Officer
    What?
[06:31] Renge
    The police officer's place is your house?
[06:33] Shiori
    Yeah! My daddy's the resident officer!
[06:36] Officer
    Thank you for bringing her home.
[06:39] Renge
    The officer praised me...
[06:42] Officer
    It must have been hot out there.
[06:44] Officer
    Would you like some juice?
[06:45] Shiori
    Would you like some?
[06:46] Renge
    Juice!
[06:49] Renge
    Wait, I forgot!
[06:50] Renge
    I have to be Santa and take these
    tomatoes to the candy store!
[06:55] Officer
    Huh? Santa?
[06:56] Renge
    So I have to go do my job.
[07:01] Renge
    I'm sorry for the trouble.
[07:03] Officer
    Oh, no, we're the ones
    who should apologize.
[07:07] Renge
    Well, bye-bye!
[07:09] Shiori
    Thanks for the tomato, Onee-chan!
[07:12] Renge
    Onee...!
[07:15] Shiori
    Bye-bye!
[07:17] Renge
    Bye-bye!
[07:24] Shiori
    Bye-bye!
[07:26] Renge
    Bye-bye!
[07:32] Shiori
    Bye-bye!
[07:34] Renge
    Bye-bye!
[07:38] Kaede
    This is good!
[07:39] Kaede
    You really grew these, Renge?
[07:41] Renge
    I really raised them!
[07:44] Renge
    I planted the seedlings,
    and I built them a house!
[07:47] Renge
    Also, on the way here, I found a lost girl,
[07:51] Renge
    so I gave her a tomato and walked her home!
[07:53] Kaede
    Oh? I bet she was happy.
[07:56] Renge
    She was!
[07:57] Renge
    She said, "Thanks, Onee-chan!"
[08:02] Kaede
    Oh? Who said what, now?
[08:05] Renge
    Wha?!
[08:05] Renge
    Why are you looking at me like that?!
[08:07] Renge
    I was the onee-san!
[08:09] Kaede
    I was just kidding.
[08:12] Kaede
    Huh... Renge, a big sister...
[08:17] Kaede
    Okay, Renge!
[08:18] Renge
    Wha?
[08:20] Kaede
    Want to grow tomatoes with me next year?
[08:22] ---
    Nonstop
[08:22] Renge
    Yeah! I do, I do!
[08:29] Renge
    I thought my new eraser was right here...
SIGN    New Year's
    Allowance
SIGN    Police Handcuffs
[08:43] Renge
    Candy Store, I want this!
[08:45] Kaede
    Okay.
[08:47] Kaede
    That'll be 500 yen.
[08:48] Renge
    That's pretty steep.
[08:52] Renge
    All of my New Year's allowance...
[09:00] Renge
    I'll take it!
[09:02] Kaede
    S-Sure... Thanks.
[09:05] Kaede
    Need a bag?
[09:07] Renge
    I'll take it as-is.
[09:11] Renge
    Now I'm a police officer, too!
[09:14] Renge
    Thanks, Candy Store!
[09:16] Kaede
    Sure. Careful out there.
[09:25] Renge
    Don't move, Candy Store! I'm a cop!
[09:29] Kaede
    Oh, a pretend cop, huh?
[09:31] Renge
    I won't stand for you calling me "pretend"!
[09:34] Renge
    You're under arrest for obstruction
    of official duties!
[09:38] Kaede
    Hey, where'd you learn
    a big word like that?
[09:41] Renge
    Ka-chink.
[09:43] Renge
    Now you can't get away.
[09:45] Kaede
    Jeez, what are you even doing?
[09:48] Kaede
    I guess you're still a kid, after all.
[09:50] Kaede
    Okay, come on, now. Get the key.
[09:52] Kaede
    I can't do my job like this.
[09:54] Renge
    Key? I don't have a key.
[09:57] Kaede
    Huh?
[09:59] Kaede
    No, I don't mean your house key.
    The key to the handcuffs.
[10:03] Renge
    I don't know where it is.
[10:07] Kaede
    Um...
[10:09] Kaede
    Where were these handcuffs?
SIGN    Police Handcuffs
[10:11] Renge
    Right here.
[10:12] Kaede
    The key must be around there somewhere.
[10:14] Renge
    There's nothing left in it.
[10:17] Kaede
    There's really nothing?
[10:18] Kaede
    Maybe it fell on the floor?
[10:22] Renge
    I don't see it.
[10:25] Kaede
    They're just toy handcuffs.
[10:27] Kaede
    If I use enough strength,
    they should break...
[10:30] Renge
    What? You're gonna break my handcuffs?
[10:35] Renge
    I bought them with my entire
    New Year's allowance...
[10:38] Renge
    I have to say goodbye already?
[10:39] Kaede
    I'm just kidding!
    Of course I won't break them!
[10:43] Kaede
    For now, I'd better go into the back...
[10:48] Kaede
    Shoot... This kind of toy should
    have a release button on the side,
[10:53] Kaede
    but there's nothing...
[10:54] Renge
    Are you okay? Should I call someone?
[10:58] Kaede
    No, not just yet.
[11:00] Natsumi
    Heya.
[11:02] Natsumi
    Huh? Candy Store's not here?
[11:05] Kaede
    Why does she have to show
    up now, of all times?!
[11:08] Renge
    You don't want Nattsun to find out?
[11:10] Kaede
    No. She'd never stop laughing at me.
[11:12] Renge
    Th-Then I'll do something about her!
[11:17] Renge
    We'll hide it with a towel! Will that work?
[11:20] Kaede
    It's not hiding anything!
    It's still right there!
[11:23] Renge
    How is it "right there"
    when it's covered up?
[11:26] Kaede
    Never mind. You don't
    need to know that yet.
[11:30] Natsumi
    Hey, there you are.
[11:32] Natsumi
    And Ren-chon's here, too?
[11:34] Kaede
    What's up? What do you need?
[11:37] Natsumi
    You're acting kind of cold.
[11:40] Natsumi
    Is something wrong?
[11:41] Kaede
    No, nothing.
[11:43] Kaede
    Nothing at all.
[11:47] Natsumi
    Hey! Ren-chon's crying!
[11:49] Kaede
    Huh?!
[11:54] Natsumi
    You couldn't get the handcuffs off?!
    You're such a doofus!
[11:57] Kaede
    Don't laugh! It's not like
    I wanted this to happen!
[12:01] Natsumi
    Ooh, she's shouting, she's shouting.
[12:05] Natsumi
    I guess you and I have been
    through a lot, haven't we?
[12:08] Natsumi
    Like when you made me grovel
    at our cultural festival,
[12:11] Natsumi
    and the time you kicked me down
    the hill when we were skiing...
[12:14] Natsumi
    And the time I dove head-first into the
    kotatsu because you were chasing me.
[12:18] Natsumi
    You haven't forgotten about that, have you?
[12:20] Natsumi
    I won't let these injustices go unavenged!
[12:21] Kaede
    Hey! Quit it!
[12:23] Natsumi
    Laugh-Your-Head-Off Tickle Hell!
[12:27] Kaede
    Y-You idiot! Cut it out!
[12:29] Natsumi
    What are you talking about?
    Don't you know what Tickle Hell is?!
[12:32] Natsumi
    It's called "Hell" because it
    doesn't end anytime soon!
[12:38] Kaede
    You'd better remember this later!
[12:42] Natsumi
    You're freaking out, Candy Store!
[12:44] Renge
    I'm sorry, Candy Store.
[12:47] Renge
    This happened because I was
    pretending to be a cop.
[12:50] Kaede
    U-Uh... It's fine!
    It's not your fault, Renge!
[12:55] Kaede
    What are you doing, Renge?
[12:57] Renge
    I'm... I'm calling the police.
[13:00] Renge
    The police should know how
    to get handcuffs off.
[13:05] Renge
    One... one... zero...
[13:07] Kaede
    Wait, Renge! Don't call
    the police! Seriously!
[13:10] Natsumi
    What? Did you do something you don't
    want the police finding out about?
[13:14] Kaede
    Of course not!
[13:15] Kaede
    But what would people say if we
    called the police over this?!
[13:20] Natsumi
    I was just kidding.
[13:22] Natsumi
    Anyway, so you really can't get those off?
[13:24] Kaede
    Huh? Well... we can't find the key,
[13:28] Kaede
    and there's no release button.
[13:30] Natsumi
    Let me take a look.
[13:32] Natsumi
    Oh, I have a pair like this, too.
[13:34] Natsumi
    It's actually right here,
    where the chain connects...
[13:38] Natsumi
    There, it's off.
[13:40] Kaede
    Who's gonna notice that?
[13:42] Natsumi
    You're the store owner.
    You should've done your research.
[13:45] Natsumi
    Well? Gonna thank me or not?
[13:47] Natsumi
    You would've been stuck like
    that forever if not for me.
[13:50] Kaede
    Darn it... You're a real pain
    in the butt, you know that?
[13:54] Natsumi
    Excuse me?! That's some attitude
    after I helped you out!
[13:57] Kaede
    I admit that, as the store owner,
    I shouldn't have forgotten how these work.
[14:02] Kaede
    So I'm sorry.
[14:05] Kaede
    Renge, read this.
[14:12] Renge
    Nattsun, Nattsun!
[14:14] Renge
    Put out your hands!
[14:16] Natsumi
    What for?
[14:20] Natsumi
    What is this?
[14:21] Kaede
    Natsumi... You and I have been
    through a lot, haven't we?
[14:25] Kaede
    Like when you didn't serve my
    order at the cultural festival,
[14:28] Kaede
    and the time you took my ladder when
    I was shoveling snow off the roof...
[14:32] Kaede
    You haven't forgotten about that, have you?
[14:35] Natsumi
    H-Huh? Did that really happen?
[14:38] Kaede
    You said it's called "Hell" because
    it doesn't end anytime soon, right?!
[14:42] Natsumi
    Whoa, stop!
SIGN    Arrest Warrant
    
    Officer Renge,
    arrest Natsumi.
[14:45] Kaede
    Laugh-Your-Head-Off Tickle Hell!
[14:47] Renge
    I've protected the peace.
[14:50] Renge
    I'm a police officer!
[14:51] ---
    Nonstop
[14:52] Kaede
    It's Hell, ain't it?!
[15:17] Renge
    Aren't you the resident officer's daughter?
[15:19] Shiori
    You're the onee-chan who helped me!
[15:21] Renge
    Onee...!
[15:23] Renge
    Onee-chan has such a nice ring to it...
[15:26] Renge
    What brings you here today?
    Are you lost again?
[15:30] Shiori
    No, I'm not lost today.
[15:32] Shiori
    I'm playing outside 'cause
    the weather's nice.
[15:36] Renge
    I see. What were you playing?
[15:39] Shiori
    Well, there was a butterfly,
    so I was watching it...
[15:45] Shiori
    Then I tried to chase it, but I quit...
[15:48] Shiori
    And then, um... um...
[15:51] Shiori
    I'm not really sure.
[15:55] Renge
    I know! If you're not lost,
    wanna play with me?
[15:59] Shiori
    Yeah! Let's play!
[16:01] Renge
    By the way, I never heard your name.
[16:04] Renge
    Mine's Renge.
[16:05] Shiori
    I'm Shiori.
[16:07] Shiori
    Hey, you know what? I wanna play police!
[16:10] Shiori
    We'll be police officers and protect
    the peace for the universe!
[16:13] Renge
    That's a very good idea!
[16:16] Renge
    In that case, we should go on patrol to
    protect the universe from bad guys!
[16:20] Shiori
    Right!
[16:22] Renge
    Okay, let's go!
[16:26] Hikage
    And the last card is mine.
[16:29] Hikage
    That's three wins in a row for me.
[16:32] Natsumi
    You're so good at Concentration, Hika-nee.
[16:34] Hikage
    It's all in the memory.
[16:37] Hikage
    Okay, one more game!
[16:38] Natsumi
    Really? Again?
[16:40] Renge
    Take a good look.
[16:42] Renge
    Those two are well-known for
    their mischief in these parts.
[16:46] Renge
    They do bad stuff and get
    in trouble all the time.
[16:48] Shiori
    Wow! We gotta arrest them!
[16:51] Renge
    We don't have an arrest
    warrant for them yet,
[16:54] Renge
    so we can't do anything.
[16:56] Shiori
    Oh, okay...
[16:56] Renge
    So for now, we'll just keep
    an eye on them from here.
[17:00] Renge
    Be as quiet as you can.
    Don't let them notice you.
[17:07] Shiori
    Renge-chan! I found the arrest
    warrant on the ground!
[17:09] Renge
    Nattsun! Hika-nee! You're under arrest!
[17:12] Natsumi
    Say what? What's up, Ren-chon?
[17:14] Renge
    We're the Cosmos Detectives, and we
    keep the peace in the universe!
[17:17] Renge
    Give it up!
[17:19] Hika
    Huh?
[17:19] Natsumi
    Uh, there's nothing to
    really give up, though...
[17:22] Natsumi
    Also, who's that?
[17:24] Renge
    Shiori-chan! She's the resident
    police officer's daughter!
[17:27] Hikage
    Oh, the one from...
[17:29] Shiori
    I'm Shiori, but that's just my alter ego!
[17:33] Shiori
    My secret true identity is...
[17:36] Both
    The Cosmos Detectives!
[17:38] Shiori
    Yeah!
[17:39] Both
    Huh...
[17:40] Renge
    And we're here to arrest
    your mischievous duo!
[17:43] Renge
    Come with us quietly!
[17:45] Hikage
    We haven't done anything, though.
[17:48] Renge
    I know you broke a planter and
    got yelled at by Nattsun's mom!
[17:58] Natsumi
    I'm impressed, Ren-chon.
[18:00] Natsumi
    So you already know about that, eh?
[18:02] Hikage
    Cosmos Detectives...
[18:04] Hikage
    I guess we can't just let this slide.
[18:08] Renge
    What?! I-I knew it!
[18:10] Renge
    You've revealed your true identities!
[18:12] Hikage
    That's right. Renge's big
    sister is just my alter ego.
[18:17] Hikage
    My true identity is...
[18:20] Hikage
    The Abominable Totem Pole Alien!
[18:23] Renge
    T-Totem Pole Alien?!
[18:26] Renge
    I-I never realized that Hika-nee...
[18:30] Hikage
    What's wrong, Renge? You scared?
[18:33] Hikage
    Try and catch me if you think you can!
[18:36] Renge
    That Hika-nee would get so giddy about
    riding on someone's shoulders at her age...
[18:41] Renge
    You've been caught in the act!
[18:44] Hikage
    Wait a minute. Don't interpret it that way.
[18:46] Hikage
    I was playing along with you.
[18:48] Hikage
    Darn it, Natsumi!
[18:50] Hikage
    Let's show them how scary we are!
[18:52] Natsumi
    Okay!
[18:53] Hikage
    Well, you'd better run, or we'll catch ya!
[18:57] Renge
    We gotta run!
[19:03] Renge
    Hang on!
[19:05] Renge
    Hika-nee and Nattsun, you're barely moving!
[19:08] Hikage
    Come on, Natsumi! What's the holdup?!
[19:10] Natsumi
    Well, you expect me to move fast with
    a high schooler on my shoulders?
[19:14] Natsumi
    I mean, we're just humoring them.
    No need to get so serious about it.
[19:19] Hikage
    Yeah, I guess.
[19:20] Shiori
    I found a great weapon!
[19:22] Renge
    Well done!
[19:23] Renge
    If we spray them with this,
    we can fight them off!
[19:29] Renge
    Don't move, Hika-nee! Move and I'll shoot!
[19:31] Hikage
    R-Renge, what are you doing?!
[19:33] Hikage
    Don't point that at us!
[19:35] Hikage
    G-Go on, Natsumi! Say something to her!
[19:38] Natsumi
    Uh...
[19:40] Natsumi
    Ren-chon, now's your chance! Get her!
[19:41] Hikage
    Huh?!
[19:43] Natsumi
    The truth is, I'm a Cosmos Detective, too!
[19:45] Natsumi
    I was pretending to be Hika-nee's
    buddy to observe her!
[19:48] Renge
    What?!
[19:50] Natsumi
    I'll keep Hika-nee still!
[19:52] Natsumi
    So aim straight at her and shoot!
[19:55] Hikage
    Wha... Hey! Don't betray me!
[19:58] Hikage
    I-I'm a Cosmos Detective, too!
[20:00] Renge
    Huh...
[20:01] Renge
    What should we do?
[20:03] Shiori
    We can't betray our allies.
[20:05] Renge
    Then you can both come on patrol with us.
[20:08] Hikage
    Y-Yeah, of course.
[20:10] Hikage
    So just put down the hose and...
[20:13] Shiori
    Whoops!
[20:14] Shiori
    I was standing on the hose!
[20:21] Hikage
    Well, that sucked.
[20:26] Renge
    Hey, Cosmos Detective Black.
[20:29] Hikage
    Who are you calling Black?
    I'm not playing anymore.
[20:32] Renge
    I'm not trying to play. Look.
[20:34] Renge
    Shiori-chan fell asleep.
[20:37] Hikage
    Huh? For real?
[20:40] Natsumi
    I know the resident officer's number.
[20:43] Natsumi
    Want me to call him over?
[20:45] Hikage
    Yeah, I guess so.
[20:47] Hikage
    I'll put her in a futon until he gets here.
[20:50] Natsumi
    Got it.
[20:52] Hikage
    I'll lay out the futon.
[20:53] Renge
    You and Nattsun are acting
    kinda like big sisters.
[20:57] Hikage
    Huh?
[20:59] Hikage
    Well, we're older, after all.
[21:01] Renge
    I'm older than Shiori-chan, too.
[21:04] Renge
    So I'll carry her on my back to
    the room where the futon is.
[21:08] Hikage
    Uh, I don't think you can carry her...
[21:11] Renge
    I can handle it.
[21:14] Renge
    Shiori-chan, you'll catch a
    cold if you sleep out here.
[21:17] Renge
    I'll carry you on my back
    to a room with a futon.
[21:21] Shiori
    'Kay...
[21:26] Hikage
    Renge, if it's too much,
    say so before you fall.
[21:29] Hikage
    You're already wobbling.
[21:31] Renge
    Th-This is nothing!
[21:34] Renge
    I'm a big sister, too!
[21:36] Renge
    You worry too much, Hika-nee!
[21:39] Hikage
    Uh, I'm your big sister, you know...
[21:42] Hikage
    Hey, watch where you're going!
[21:43] Renge
    I'm fine!
[21:45] Hikage
    Just let me carry her.
[21:47] Renge
    I'm the big sister!
SIGN    Non Non Biyori
SIGN    That's all for today
[23:31] Hotaru
    A-Amazing! My Koma-plushie
    is talking and moving!
[23:34] Komari
    It must've actually been
    a giant salamander!
[23:37] Renge
    I know!
[23:38] Renge
    Since you're here, you can play with
    me like a fish that just found water!
[23:42] Plushie
    I am... Koma-plushie...
SIGN    Next Time
    Episode 5
SIGN    I Made Something Incredible
SIGN    Photo: Sho°3
SIGN    Please Watch Again
SIGN    Nonstop