E8 - A Fake Witch of the Highlands Appeared
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:11] Azusa
What a refreshing morning.
The weather's so nice.
[00:15] Azusa
Today should be another peaceful day...
[00:17] Flatorte
It appears you and I must settle our score!
[00:20] Laika
Fine by me!
[00:23] Flatorte
I challenge you to a duel!
[00:25] Laika
Very well!
[00:26] Laika
I haven't trained my body to be so weak
as to lose to the likes of a Blue Dragon!
[00:30] Flatorte
What did you say?!
[00:31] Laika
What was that?!
[00:32] Azusa
Stop!
[00:34] Azusa
What's all the fuss so early in the morning?
[00:37] Both
Lady Azusa! Whose cookies taste better?
[00:40] Azusa
Huh?
SIGN I've Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years
and Maxed Out My Level
SIGN A Fake Witch of the Highlands Appeared
SIGN A Fake Witch of the Highlands Appeared
[02:17] Rosalie
Basically, since Sister Flatorte came along,
[02:21] Rosalie
the two of them have been arguing nonstop,
[02:24] Rosalie
but since they swore before the
Demon King to stop fighting,
[02:26] Rosalie
they can't fight with their fists,
[02:29] Rosalie
so they had a cookie-baking contest
[02:31] Rosalie
as a way to resolve their
disagreement peacefully.
[02:34] SFX
Pop!
[02:35] Both
Whose is it?!
[02:36] Azusa
My judgment is...
[02:38] SFX
Pop!
[02:40] SFX
Pop! Pop!
[02:42] Azusa
They're both delicious, so you both win!
[02:44] Laika
Lady Azusa, that's not good enough!
[02:47] Flatorte
We need you to judge us without mercy!
[02:50] Azusa
Yeah, but...
[02:50] Halkara
Those two are awfully heated
today, aren't they?
[02:53] Falfa
We know why!
[02:55] Falfa
Because they haven't eaten any meat!
[02:57] Shalsha
Dragons are carnivores.
[02:59] Shalsha
They were complaining that they
haven't had fresh meat in a while.
[03:03] Halkara
Meat, huh?
[03:09] Natalie
Good morning.
[03:11] Azusa
It's unusual for you to drop by, Natalie.
[03:14] Azusa
What's up?
[03:16] Natalie
Well, it seems there's been an outbreak
of longhammer boars in Nilka Forest.
[03:22] Azusa
Longhammer boars?
[03:24] Natalie
This is the request.
[03:26] Natalie
They're very vicious beasts, so local
adventurers can't handle them,
[03:30] Natalie
and they hoped the Witch of the
Highlands would take care of it.
[03:33] Azusa
Hmm... Getting rid of monsters, huh?
[03:37] Azusa
I have plenty of magic
stones already, though.
[03:39] Natalie
Longhammer boars are wild
animals, not monsters.
[03:43] Natalie
They won't give you magic stones.
[03:46] Natalie
If you kill one, you'll only
get a lump of boar meat.
[03:48] Both
Meat?!
[03:49] Laika
Lady Azusa! Let's leave at once!
[03:52] Flatorte
We have to do this!
[03:53] Azusa
What's gotten into you two?
[03:56] Halkara
Master, it seems the two of
them are starved for meat.
[04:00] Azusa
Ah, so that's it.
[04:03] Azusa
Well, I don't want them starting
up weird contests again, so...
[04:06] Azusa
Okay, let's go beat up some boars.
[04:09] Laika
I will make preparations right away!
[04:11] Flatorte
There's no time to waste!
[04:14] SFX
Zoom!
SIGN Nilka Forest
[04:17] Flatorta
Meat! Meat! Time for some meat!
[04:21] Flatorte
Meat juices overflowing! Meat juices flying!
[04:25] Flatorte
So much, you can drink it!
[04:27] Laika
The path is awfully steep.
[04:29] Azusa
Yeah, maybe being such a tough trip for
humans makes it safer for the boars.
[04:35] Azusa
We were right to leave Halkara
at home with Falfa and Shalsha.
[04:39] Azusa
She'd fall for sure.
[04:41] Rosalie
Sister!
[04:43] Rosalie
If you keep going straight,
[04:45] Rosalie
the path slopes down into a
river through the valley.
[04:47] Rosalie
I saw about fifteen boars there.
[04:51] Azusa
Thanks, Rosalie.
[04:52] SFX
Slide...
[04:53] Flatorte
Fifteen?!
[04:55] Flatorte
It's a mountain of food! Let's go eat!
[04:59] Raika
Wait! If you actually go straight...
[05:03] Flatorte
I got stuck in tree branches.
[05:06] Laika
I tried to tell you.
[05:08] Azusa
Of course your clothes would catch on
branches if you go the same way Rosalie did.
[05:14] Flatorte
I don't wear clothes when in dragon form,
[05:17] Flatorte
so I never got used to them.
[05:20] Flatorte
So...
[05:21] Flatorte
If they're in the way, they can get lost!
[05:24] Azusa
Whoa!
[05:25] Azusa
What are you doing?!
[05:26] Laika
Have you lost your mind?!
[05:28] Flatorte
This is what freedom is! Freedom!
[05:31] Flatorte
Flatorte is free!
[05:37] Azusa
Then again...
[05:38] Azusa
No one's around, so I guess it's okay.
[05:41] Flatorte
Sniffle, sniffle...
[05:44] Flatorte
There were people at the
river, and they saw me.
[05:46] Azusa
They didn't do anything bad, did they?
[05:49] Flatorte
They seemed to be female, so it was fine.
[05:52] Laika
Honestly... Here.
[05:54] Flatorte
Thanks. I owe you.
[05:57] Laika
All you owe me is to put on your clothes.
[06:00] Flatorte
There! All good now!
[06:03] Flatorte
I'm going back!
[06:05] Both
Why?!
[06:06] Rosalie
Yikes.
[06:07] Azusa
Laika, we're going after her!
[06:10] Azusa
They're gonna think we're
a group of streakers!
[06:13] Laika
Yes! She'll bring shame to all Dragons!
[06:15] Flatorte
Stop!
[06:20] Rosalie
Sister Flatorte!
[06:22] Rosalie
Are you okay?
[06:23] Azusa
What happened?
[06:25] Flatorte
Give that back!
[06:31] SFX
Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle...
[06:36] SFX
Splish.
[06:37] Flatorte
It's floating away!
[06:39] Laika
What in the world is she doing?
[06:41] Azusa
No idea.
[06:45] Flatorte
I can't make the trip back
if I don't have those!
[06:50] SFX
Splish.
[06:52] Flatorte
My clothes are floating away, too!
[06:55] Azusa
Think about the direction
you kick things in.
[06:58] Rosalie
Well, it's not like she's lost everything.
[07:01] Flatorte
Forget it!
[07:03] Flatorte
All right, boars.
[07:04] Flatorte
If you're naked, the great
Flatorte will fight naked, too!
[07:10] Flatorte
That's what you call taking
a fight seriously!
[07:15] Azusa
Wha—
[07:18] Azusa
Well, that's it! We have to help her!
[07:20] Laika
Understood!
[07:22] Rosalie
Got it!
[07:37] Azusa
I think it's ready now.
[07:45] Azusa
Nice! This is great!
[07:47] Azusa
Salt is really all it needs!
[07:50] Rosalie
Hear that, you two?
[07:52] Flatorte
Now, this is what I call a meal!
[07:54] Laika
I feel energy welling up throughout my body!
[07:57] Rosalie
You have some impressive appetites...
[07:59] Beelzebub
What are you lot up to?
[08:01] Azusa
Beelzebub!
[08:02] Flatorte
Hey! My clothes!
[08:06] Vania
They came floating downstream while
we were investigating the area.
[08:09] Vania
We thought they must belong to the naked
person we saw earlier, so we picked them up.
[08:14] Vania
I see that person was you, Flatorte.
[08:16] Flatorte
You saved me! Thank you!
[08:19] Laika
Beelzebub, what were you investigating?
[08:22] Beelzebub
Well, we heard the rumor
about the longhammer boars,
[08:26] Beelzebub
so we came to gather some
food for the Demon Realm...
[08:29] Beelzebub
But it appears you saved us the time.
[08:31] Beelzebub
Since we're here, perhaps
we'll help ourselves, too.
[08:35] Vania
In that case...
[08:37] SFX
Glint.
[08:37] SFX
Slice!
[08:38] Vania
I will prepare the finest wild
game dishes you've ever had!
[08:42] Vania
I'll make sure there's plenty for everyone!
[08:44] Laika
Lady Azusa!
[08:46] Azusa
Yeah!
[08:47] Azusa
Let's get the whole gang here!
[09:06] Azusa
A lot of crazy stuff happened,
[09:08] Azusa
but in the end, it was a good day.
[09:22] Azusa
So, you got to eat plenty of meat.
[09:25] Azusa
Do you feel better?
[09:26] Laika
Yes. I'm sorry you had to see
us in that shameful state.
[09:29] Flatorte
The thought of a reward
made us a bit overzealous.
[09:33] Azusa
A reward?
[09:35] Laika
The truth is... the two of us had
decided on a reward for that contest.
[09:41] Laika
The winner would get to sleep
beside you for one night.
[09:45] Azusa
This is news to me!
[09:50] Azusa
Sleeping like this makes it feel
like we're all sisters, huh?
[09:54] Azusa
Based on our heights, I'm the oldest sister,
[09:57] Azusa
Flatorte's in the middle,
and Laika's the youngest.
[10:00] Azusa
You two had better get along. Understood?
[10:03] Flatorte
Understood, Mistress.
[10:05] Laika
I will do as you say, Lady Azusa.
[10:08] Azusa
Okay, let's sleep together tonight.
[10:10] Both
Yes!
[10:21] Laika
I'm the one who brought this back!
[10:23] Flatorte
Don't be so stubborn.
[10:25] Flatorte
I'm so hungry, I can't sleep!
[10:27] Laika
That goes for me, too!
[10:32] Azusa
You two...
[10:35] Laika
Uh...
[10:36] Flatorte
Indeed...
SIGN I've Been Killing Slimes
for 300 Years and
Maxed Out My Level
SIGN Halkara Pharmaceuticals Nascúte Factory
[10:52] Azusa
Time for a little break.
[10:55] Old Lady 1
You've been working hard, Azusa.
[10:57] Old Lady 2
You have a knack for this.
[10:59] Azusa
Thank you for saying so.
[11:03] Azusa
I thought I'd work here to kill
some time since Halkara asked,
[11:06] Azusa
but doing this sort of work like
a normal girl isn't so bad.
[11:10] Old Lady 1
Did you hear? They say the Witch
of the Highlands showed up again.
[11:15] Old Lady 2
Oh, yeah.
[11:17] Old Lady 2
I heard she's traveling around the
world helping people in trouble.
[11:21] Old Lady 2
The Witch of the Highlands
is such a virtuous person.
[11:25] Azusa
Say what?
[11:27] Azusa
So on that note...
[11:29] Azusa
There's a fake me out there!
[11:31] SFX
Pung!
[11:31] Laika
That's unforgivable!
[11:32] SFX
Pang!
[11:33] Rosalie
Let's pulverize 'em!
[11:34] SFX
Pong!
[11:34] Flatorte
We'll tear them limb from limb!
[11:35] SFX
Peng!
[11:36] Halkara
Let's get them to work at the factory!
[11:37] SFX
Ping!
[11:37] Shalsha
Let's sue.
[11:38] Shalsha
If precedent is followed,
they'll get, at least, five years.
[11:41] SFX
Po-pong!
[11:42] Falfa
There's only one of our Mama!
[11:44] Azusa
Right... some of you said
some scary things, but...
[11:47] Azusa
I just want them to realize
what they're doing is wrong.
[11:49] Azusa
We'll start gathering
information right away.
[11:52] Azusa
We're going to split up
[11:54] Azusa
so we can all search in every direction!
SIGN A Town in the West
[11:57] SFX
Zoom...
[11:59] Azusa
This is a pretty big town.
[12:01] Azusa
It should be easy to get information here.
[12:07] Azusa
Huh... Is there some kind of event going on?
[12:10] Laika
Lady Azusa, if we're gathering information,
[12:13] Laika
perhaps a bar is the best place to start?
[12:20] Laika
Lady Azusa!
[12:21] Azusa
Don't worry.
[12:22] Owner
Hi there.
[12:24] Owner
Welcome to our public bar,
A Pig Would Be Far More Useful Than You.
[12:30] Azusa
There's no way this is a "public" bar!
[12:32] Laika
That name is far too eccentric!
[12:34] Customer 1
Yo, miss, I need a refill.
[12:37] Owner
Shut up.
[12:38] Owner
If you're hungry, get your own food, pig.
[12:41] SFX
Oink...
[12:43] Both
Huh?
[12:44] Owner
This bar was once in danger of going
under because of its poor service,
[12:49] Owner
but it's turned around.
[12:50] Owner
We turned our crude treatment
of customers into a theme,
[12:53] Owner
and business boomed instantly.
[12:55] Owner
A change in perspective led us to victory.
[12:57] Azusa
That's too drastic a change!
[12:59] Owner
So, are you two pigs?
[13:02] Azusa
That's a question I never
thought I'd be asked.
[13:06] Owner
Looking for part-time work, then?
[13:09] Laika
I'd rather die than work
at a place like this!
[13:12] Azusa
There's actually something
we'd like to ask you.
[13:14] Azusa
We want to know about the
Witch of the Highlands.
[13:17] Owner
I see. Information, is it?
[13:19] Owner
I did hear a little tidbit about the
Witch of the Highlands recently.
[13:24] Azusa
What? Really?
[13:25] Owner
If you want me to tell you,
[13:27] Owner
why don't you try throwing some
insults at those boys over there?
[13:31] Owner
I'd appreciate it even more if you'd look
at them with dismay and displeasure,
[13:36] Owner
as if you were looking at something filthy.
[13:37] Azusa
What the hell kind of bar did we walk into?
[13:40] Laika
Let's leave, Lady Azusa.
[13:43] Azusa
If it'll get us information, though...
[13:45] Customer 2
Hey, miss, I want to order something else.
[13:49] Azusa
Could you keep your
booze-reeking mouth shut?
[13:52] Azusa
It's rotting my ears.
[13:53] SFX
Oink, oink!
[13:55] Laika
Lady Azusa?
[13:57] Customer 3
Hey, miss, what about me?
[13:59] Azusa
One more word, and I'll kick you.
[14:01] SFX
Oink!
[14:02] Customer 4
Maybe I'll order the expensive booze!
[14:05] Azusa
I think whatever's in the horse's water
bucket should be plenty for you.
[14:08] SFX
Oink!
[14:09] Customer 5
Hey, miss! Smile for me!
[14:11] Azusa
Excuse me? Who said you
could give me orders?
[14:15] SFX
Oink!
[14:15] Customer 3
Verbal abuse is the best!
[14:18] Customer 4
It was worth walking
three hours to get here!
[14:20] Customer 5
I'm getting chills...
[14:22] Laika
Lady Azusa, would you mind
if I ended these people?
[14:26] Customer 2
Oh, those icy eyes make me tingle!
[14:30] SFX
Oink, oink!
[14:30] Customer 3
Put me down like I'm nothing but trash!
[14:33] Laika
Quiet! Stay away from me, vermin!
[14:36] SFX
Oink!
[14:37] Customer 4
Give me more!
[14:38] Laika
Keep your mouth shut!
[14:40] Laika
Do you want to be torn apart
by a dragon's claws?!
[14:42] Customer 5
Y-Yes, please!
[14:42] SFX
Oink!
[14:45] Laika
You obscene humans!
[14:47] Laika
None of you have the authority
to make demands of me!
[14:51] SFX
Oink!
[14:53] Azusa
Laika, you're giving them too much service.
[14:55] Owner
Thanks a lot!
[14:57] Owner
Now these pigs will drop
lots of money for me again.
[15:01] Owner
You wanted to know about the
Witch of the Highlands?
[15:03] Owner
In that case, the pigs told
me north is the way to go.
SIGN The Road to the North
[15:08] SFX
Zoom...
[15:10] Female Spectator
My goodness! It's the
Witch of the Highlands!
[15:13] Guy
We're so grateful you're here!
[15:14] Laika
Lady Azusa.
[15:15] Azusa
Yep. Found her.
[15:18] Old Witch
I am the Witch of the Highlands.
[15:21] Old Witch
I have lived in the highlands for 300 years.
[15:24] Girl
Great Witch, please sell
your secret medicine!
[15:28] Old Witch
My skills are not nearly good enough
to produce medicine worth selling.
[15:34] Old Witch
I'll sell it after I've improved more.
[15:38] Male Spectator 1
She's so humble!
[15:39] Male SPectator 2
Just as the Witch of the
Highlands should be!
[15:41] Azusa
You know that's not true!
[15:43] Azusa
You've been at it for 300 years, right?
[15:45] Azusa
How many years does it
take to become good enough?
[15:48] Azusa
Being a witch isn't such a tough job that
you're still a rookie after 500 years!
[15:53] Azusa
Everyone! This Witch of
the Highlands is a fake!
[15:57] Azusa
I am the Witch of the Highlands'... friend!
[16:01] Azusa
This woman looks nothing like her!
[16:03] Male Spectator 1
She's a fake?
[16:04] Male Spectator 2
I did hear that the Witch of the Highlands
was supposed to be a young beauty.
[16:08] Azusa
Right? Right?
[16:11] Azusa
Ahem!
[16:12] Azusa
If you're the real Witch of the Highlands,
[16:14] Azusa
surely you won't lose in a
magic battle against me.
[16:17] SFX
Point!
[16:19] Azusa
Therefore, I challenge you to a duel!
[16:22] SFX
Blink, blink.
[16:23] Azusa
Huh?
[16:24] Laika
Lady Azusa, over there!
[16:35] Azusa
Now, give it up!
[16:41] Both
Huh?
[16:42] Eno
I-I'm sorry!
[16:43] Eno
You're right. I'm a fake!
[16:46] Eno
I'm very sorry!
[16:50] Eno
What?!
[16:52] Eno
You're the real Witch of the Highlands?!
[16:54] Eno
Now I'm even more sorry!
[16:57] Azusa
Well, it doesn't seem like you
meant any harm, so it's okay...
[17:01] Laika
But you do appear to be a witch.
[17:03] Eno
Yes, I am a witch. My name is Eno.
[17:07] Azusa
That aside, Eno...
[17:10] Azusa
You're the type that likes
to look the part, huh?
[17:14] Azusa
You make medicines here?
[17:16] Eno
That's right!
[17:18] Eno
These Mandragora Pills, for example,
[17:20] Eno
are pills that I make from dried mandragora.
[17:23] Eno
They relieve exhaustion and eye strain,
[17:26] Eno
and they even keep your gut healthy!
[17:29] Azusa
You make some pretty good stuff, then.
[17:31] Azusa
I think this would be a
big hit if you sold it.
[17:34] Eno
Oh, no.
[17:35] Eno
I don't think it's wise for a witch
to advertise herself indiscreetly,
[17:39] Eno
so I don't sell anything.
[17:40] Azusa
That seems like a waste of talent.
[17:43] Eno
But if someone came along and said
they wanted to sell it to the public,
[17:47] Eno
I'd be willing to consider it...
[17:49] Eno
You could say I like the idea of being
a genius only to those in the know.
[17:54] Azusa
You're making this so complicated.
[17:56] Laika
Pardon me... but isn't that a contradiction?
[17:59] Eno
Huh?
[18:00] Laika
You want to be familiar to those in the know,
[18:03] Laika
but you also want to be known publicly?
You can't have it both ways.
[18:07] Laika
I don't quite understand.
[18:09] Eno
Well... yes. You're precisely right...
[18:12] Eno
I just... you know...
[18:14] Laika
There've been nothing but inconsistencies
in the things you've said.
[18:18] Laika
Do you want to be known to
the public or don't you?
[18:22] Laika
So what is it that you want, exactly?
[18:24] Laika
What is your goal?
[18:26] Laika
Could you explain it so that I,
an uneducated outsider, can understand?
[18:30] Eno
W-Well...
[18:33] Azusa
Laika, that's enough. I'll explain it.
[18:37] Azusa
See, humans have this thing called vanity.
[18:41] Azusa
Eno's vanity takes the form of wanting
[18:43] Azusa
to be a genius witch who isn't into doing
business and is only known to those who know.
[18:48] Azusa
But at the same time, you have the desire
to be recognized as a great witch, right?
[18:55] Laika
But that's...
[18:57] Azusa
Yes, it's a contradiction.
[18:59] Azusa
But humans are walking contradictions
in the first place.
[19:03] Laika
Is that how it is?
[19:05] Azusa
This is just my personal opinion,
[19:08] Azusa
but am I correct?
[19:10] Eno
Yes... You are right. I'm sorry.
[19:14] Azusa
In other words, you want
to be fawned over, right?
[19:17] Eno
Yes! I want people to fawn over me!
[19:20] Azusa
Is that all?
[19:23] Eno
No.
[19:24] Eno
I want to stand out more and
be gazed upon with admiration!
[19:28] Eno
And...
[19:30] Eno
I'd like someone to make
a bronze statue of me
[19:32] Eno
and be treated like some sort of
honored citizen in my hometown!
[19:36] Azusa
You're spouting some very
worldly desires suddenly.
[19:40] Azusa
What do you think you'd need
to do to achieve all that?
[19:43] Eno
Th-The only way is to do things
that will make me famous!
[19:47] Azusa
Yes, well said.
[19:49] Azusa
So let's start doing that, then.
[19:52] Eno
Huh?
[19:57] Falfa
Wow!
[19:58] Azusa
This is a pretty big marketplace.
[20:01] Shalsha
Mama, where is this witch's shop?
[20:04] Azusa
Uh, I think it was A-23b?
[20:08] Halkara
Oh, it's along the wall!
The wall is the best spot!
[20:12] Azusa
Is this a doujinshi convention or what?!
[20:17] Eno
Witch of the Highlands!
[20:20] Azusa
Eno... Is that...
[20:23] Eno
Well, you know how I suffer
from stage fright, right?
[20:26] Eno
So I decided to overcome my
embarrassment by becoming
[20:30] Eno
someone completely different from myself!
[20:33] Azusa
I see.
[20:34] Azusa
Well, if it makes sense
to you, I'm all for it.
[20:38] Azusa
Where are Laika and Flatorte, anyway?
[20:41] Laika
Get your Red Dragon brand butter cookies!
[20:44] Flatorte
Try some cookies made with beans roasted
in the valley of the Blue Dragons!
[20:48] Laika
Mine are better than the ones beside me!
[20:50] Flatorte
The ones beside me aren't worth considering!
[20:54] Azusa
For the love of...
[20:56] Rosalie
Don't you walk up to me
grinning like morons!
[20:59] Rosalie
I'll make you regret that in the next life!
[21:01] Rosalie
Go wash your faces in a
ditch and never come back!
[21:06] Customer 1
Insult me more!
[21:07] Customer 2
Lady Rosalie!
[21:09] Azusa
She might be perfect for that job...
[21:11] Eno
Yes, one bottle of Mandragora Pills.
[21:14] Eno
Thank you very much!
[21:17] Azusa
With that, Eno's shop turned
out to be fairly successful,
[21:20] Azus
and she was able to shed a few
layers in more ways than one.
[21:26] Laika
Lady Azusa, you have mail.
[21:29] Azusa
Oh, it's from Eno!
[21:32] Eno
Dearest Lady Azusa.
[21:35] Eno
Thank you for your help the other day.
[21:38] Eno
Thanks to you, my Mandragora Pills became
all the rage through word of mouth,
[21:42] Eno
and sales have been explosive!
[21:44] Eno
I can't produce enough to keep up.
[21:46] Eno
I'm struggling to figure out
what I should do about this.
[21:50] Azusa
Wow, so that medicine became a hit?
[21:54] Laika
It sounds like she's quite popular.
[21:56] Halkara
Hmm...
[21:57] Halkara
It sounds as if she might work
out as a new business partner.
[22:01] Azusa
Well, she was able to draw
out her latent talent.
[22:04] Azusa
Maybe this was for the best.
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