E8 - A Fake Witch of the Highlands Appeared Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:11] Azusa     What a refreshing morning.     The weather's so nice. [00:15] Azusa     Today should be another peaceful day... [00:17] Flatorte     It appears you and I must settle our score! [00:20] Laika     Fine by me! [00:23] Flatorte     I challenge you to a duel! [00:25] Laika     Very well! [00:26] Laika     I haven't trained my body to be so weak     as to lose to the likes of a Blue Dragon! [00:30] Flatorte     What did you say?! [00:31] Laika     What was that?! [00:32] Azusa     Stop! [00:34] Azusa     What's all the fuss so early in the morning? [00:37] Both     Lady Azusa! Whose cookies taste better? [00:40] Azusa     Huh? SIGN    I've Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years     and Maxed Out My Level SIGN    A Fake Witch of the Highlands Appeared SIGN    A Fake Witch of the Highlands Appeared [02:17] Rosalie     Basically, since Sister Flatorte came along, [02:21] Rosalie     the two of them have been arguing nonstop, [02:24] Rosalie     but since they swore before the     Demon King to stop fighting, [02:26] Rosalie     they can't fight with their fists, [02:29] Rosalie     so they had a cookie-baking contest [02:31] Rosalie     as a way to resolve their     disagreement peacefully. [02:34] SFX     Pop! [02:35] Both     Whose is it?! [02:36] Azusa     My judgment is... [02:38] SFX     Pop! [02:40] SFX     Pop! Pop! [02:42] Azusa     They're both delicious, so you both win! [02:44] Laika     Lady Azusa, that's not good enough! [02:47] Flatorte     We need you to judge us without mercy! [02:50] Azusa     Yeah, but... [02:50] Halkara     Those two are awfully heated     today, aren't they? [02:53] Falfa     We know why! [02:55] Falfa     Because they haven't eaten any meat! [02:57] Shalsha     Dragons are carnivores. [02:59] Shalsha     They were complaining that they     haven't had fresh meat in a while. [03:03] Halkara     Meat, huh? [03:09] Natalie     Good morning. [03:11] Azusa     It's unusual for you to drop by, Natalie. [03:14] Azusa     What's up? [03:16] Natalie     Well, it seems there's been an outbreak     of longhammer boars in Nilka Forest. [03:22] Azusa     Longhammer boars? [03:24] Natalie     This is the request. [03:26] Natalie     They're very vicious beasts, so local     adventurers can't handle them, [03:30] Natalie     and they hoped the Witch of the     Highlands would take care of it. [03:33] Azusa     Hmm... Getting rid of monsters, huh? [03:37] Azusa     I have plenty of magic     stones already, though. [03:39] Natalie     Longhammer boars are wild     animals, not monsters. [03:43] Natalie     They won't give you magic stones. [03:46] Natalie     If you kill one, you'll only     get a lump of boar meat. [03:48] Both     Meat?! [03:49] Laika     Lady Azusa! Let's leave at once! [03:52] Flatorte     We have to do this! [03:53] Azusa     What's gotten into you two? [03:56] Halkara     Master, it seems the two of     them are starved for meat. [04:00] Azusa     Ah, so that's it. [04:03] Azusa     Well, I don't want them starting     up weird contests again, so... [04:06] Azusa     Okay, let's go beat up some boars. [04:09] Laika     I will make preparations right away! [04:11] Flatorte     There's no time to waste! [04:14] SFX     Zoom! SIGN    Nilka Forest [04:17] Flatorta     Meat! Meat! Time for some meat! [04:21] Flatorte     Meat juices overflowing! Meat juices flying! [04:25] Flatorte     So much, you can drink it! [04:27] Laika     The path is awfully steep. [04:29] Azusa     Yeah, maybe being such a tough trip for     humans makes it safer for the boars. [04:35] Azusa     We were right to leave Halkara     at home with Falfa and Shalsha. [04:39] Azusa     She'd fall for sure. [04:41] Rosalie     Sister! [04:43] Rosalie     If you keep going straight, [04:45] Rosalie     the path slopes down into a     river through the valley. [04:47] Rosalie     I saw about fifteen boars there. [04:51] Azusa     Thanks, Rosalie. [04:52] SFX     Slide... [04:53] Flatorte     Fifteen?! [04:55] Flatorte     It's a mountain of food! Let's go eat! [04:59] Raika     Wait! If you actually go straight... [05:03] Flatorte     I got stuck in tree branches. [05:06] Laika     I tried to tell you. [05:08] Azusa     Of course your clothes would catch on     branches if you go the same way Rosalie did. [05:14] Flatorte     I don't wear clothes when in dragon form, [05:17] Flatorte     so I never got used to them. [05:20] Flatorte     So... [05:21] Flatorte     If they're in the way, they can get lost! [05:24] Azusa     Whoa! [05:25] Azusa     What are you doing?! [05:26] Laika     Have you lost your mind?! [05:28] Flatorte     This is what freedom is! Freedom! [05:31] Flatorte     Flatorte is free! [05:37] Azusa     Then again... [05:38] Azusa     No one's around, so I guess it's okay. [05:41] Flatorte     Sniffle, sniffle... [05:44] Flatorte     There were people at the     river, and they saw me. [05:46] Azusa     They didn't do anything bad, did they? [05:49] Flatorte     They seemed to be female, so it was fine. [05:52] Laika     Honestly... Here. [05:54] Flatorte     Thanks. I owe you. [05:57] Laika     All you owe me is to put on your clothes. [06:00] Flatorte     There! All good now! [06:03] Flatorte     I'm going back! [06:05] Both     Why?! [06:06] Rosalie     Yikes. [06:07] Azusa     Laika, we're going after her! [06:10] Azusa     They're gonna think we're     a group of streakers! [06:13] Laika     Yes! She'll bring shame to all Dragons! [06:15] Flatorte     Stop! [06:20] Rosalie     Sister Flatorte! [06:22] Rosalie     Are you okay? [06:23] Azusa     What happened? [06:25] Flatorte     Give that back! [06:31] SFX     Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle... [06:36] SFX     Splish. [06:37] Flatorte     It's floating away! [06:39] Laika     What in the world is she doing? [06:41] Azusa     No idea. [06:45] Flatorte     I can't make the trip back     if I don't have those! [06:50] SFX     Splish. [06:52] Flatorte     My clothes are floating away, too! [06:55] Azusa     Think about the direction     you kick things in. [06:58] Rosalie     Well, it's not like she's lost everything. [07:01] Flatorte     Forget it! [07:03] Flatorte     All right, boars. [07:04] Flatorte     If you're naked, the great     Flatorte will fight naked, too! [07:10] Flatorte     That's what you call taking     a fight seriously! [07:15] Azusa     Wha— [07:18] Azusa     Well, that's it! We have to help her! [07:20] Laika     Understood! [07:22] Rosalie     Got it! [07:37] Azusa     I think it's ready now. [07:45] Azusa     Nice! This is great! [07:47] Azusa     Salt is really all it needs! [07:50] Rosalie     Hear that, you two? [07:52] Flatorte     Now, this is what I call a meal! [07:54] Laika     I feel energy welling up throughout my body! [07:57] Rosalie     You have some impressive appetites... [07:59] Beelzebub     What are you lot up to? [08:01] Azusa     Beelzebub! [08:02] Flatorte     Hey! My clothes! [08:06] Vania     They came floating downstream while     we were investigating the area. [08:09] Vania     We thought they must belong to the naked     person we saw earlier, so we picked them up. [08:14] Vania     I see that person was you, Flatorte. [08:16] Flatorte     You saved me! Thank you! [08:19] Laika     Beelzebub, what were you investigating? [08:22] Beelzebub     Well, we heard the rumor     about the longhammer boars, [08:26] Beelzebub     so we came to gather some     food for the Demon Realm... [08:29] Beelzebub     But it appears you saved us the time. [08:31] Beelzebub     Since we're here, perhaps     we'll help ourselves, too. [08:35] Vania     In that case... [08:37] SFX     Glint. [08:37] SFX     Slice! [08:38] Vania     I will prepare the finest wild     game dishes you've ever had! [08:42] Vania     I'll make sure there's plenty for everyone! [08:44] Laika     Lady Azusa! [08:46] Azusa     Yeah! [08:47] Azusa     Let's get the whole gang here! [09:06] Azusa     A lot of crazy stuff happened, [09:08] Azusa     but in the end, it was a good day. [09:22] Azusa     So, you got to eat plenty of meat. [09:25] Azusa     Do you feel better? [09:26] Laika     Yes. I'm sorry you had to see     us in that shameful state. [09:29] Flatorte     The thought of a reward     made us a bit overzealous. [09:33] Azusa     A reward? [09:35] Laika     The truth is... the two of us had     decided on a reward for that contest. [09:41] Laika     The winner would get to sleep     beside you for one night. [09:45] Azusa     This is news to me! [09:50] Azusa     Sleeping like this makes it feel     like we're all sisters, huh? [09:54] Azusa     Based on our heights, I'm the oldest sister, [09:57] Azusa     Flatorte's in the middle,     and Laika's the youngest. [10:00] Azusa     You two had better get along. Understood? [10:03] Flatorte     Understood, Mistress. [10:05] Laika     I will do as you say, Lady Azusa. [10:08] Azusa     Okay, let's sleep together tonight. [10:10] Both     Yes! [10:21] Laika     I'm the one who brought this back! [10:23] Flatorte     Don't be so stubborn. [10:25] Flatorte     I'm so hungry, I can't sleep! [10:27] Laika     That goes for me, too! [10:32] Azusa     You two... [10:35] Laika     Uh... [10:36] Flatorte     Indeed... SIGN    I've Been Killing Slimes     for 300 Years and     Maxed Out My Level SIGN    Halkara Pharmaceuticals Nascúte Factory [10:52] Azusa     Time for a little break. [10:55] Old Lady 1     You've been working hard, Azusa. [10:57] Old Lady 2     You have a knack for this. [10:59] Azusa     Thank you for saying so. [11:03] Azusa     I thought I'd work here to kill     some time since Halkara asked, [11:06] Azusa     but doing this sort of work like     a normal girl isn't so bad. [11:10] Old Lady 1     Did you hear? They say the Witch     of the Highlands showed up again. [11:15] Old Lady 2     Oh, yeah. [11:17] Old Lady 2     I heard she's traveling around the     world helping people in trouble. [11:21] Old Lady 2     The Witch of the Highlands     is such a virtuous person. [11:25] Azusa     Say what? [11:27] Azusa     So on that note... [11:29] Azusa     There's a fake me out there! [11:31] SFX     Pung! [11:31] Laika     That's unforgivable! [11:32] SFX     Pang! [11:33] Rosalie     Let's pulverize 'em! [11:34] SFX     Pong! [11:34] Flatorte     We'll tear them limb from limb! [11:35] SFX     Peng! [11:36] Halkara     Let's get them to work at the factory! [11:37] SFX     Ping! [11:37] Shalsha     Let's sue. [11:38] Shalsha     If precedent is followed,     they'll get, at least, five years. [11:41] SFX     Po-pong! [11:42] Falfa     There's only one of our Mama! [11:44] Azusa     Right... some of you said     some scary things, but... [11:47] Azusa     I just want them to realize     what they're doing is wrong. [11:49] Azusa     We'll start gathering     information right away. [11:52] Azusa     We're going to split up [11:54] Azusa     so we can all search in every direction! SIGN    A Town in the West [11:57] SFX     Zoom... [11:59] Azusa     This is a pretty big town. [12:01] Azusa     It should be easy to get information here. [12:07] Azusa     Huh... Is there some kind of event going on? [12:10] Laika     Lady Azusa, if we're gathering information, [12:13] Laika     perhaps a bar is the best place to start? [12:20] Laika     Lady Azusa! [12:21] Azusa     Don't worry. [12:22] Owner     Hi there. [12:24] Owner     Welcome to our public bar,     A Pig Would Be Far More Useful Than You. [12:30] Azusa     There's no way this is a "public" bar! [12:32] Laika     That name is far too eccentric! [12:34] Customer 1     Yo, miss, I need a refill. [12:37] Owner     Shut up. [12:38] Owner     If you're hungry, get your own food, pig. [12:41] SFX     Oink... [12:43] Both     Huh? [12:44] Owner     This bar was once in danger of going     under because of its poor service, [12:49] Owner     but it's turned around. [12:50] Owner     We turned our crude treatment     of customers into a theme, [12:53] Owner     and business boomed instantly. [12:55] Owner     A change in perspective led us to victory. [12:57] Azusa     That's too drastic a change! [12:59] Owner     So, are you two pigs? [13:02] Azusa     That's a question I never     thought I'd be asked. [13:06] Owner     Looking for part-time work, then? [13:09] Laika     I'd rather die than work     at a place like this! [13:12] Azusa     There's actually something     we'd like to ask you. [13:14] Azusa     We want to know about the     Witch of the Highlands. [13:17] Owner     I see. Information, is it? [13:19] Owner     I did hear a little tidbit about the     Witch of the Highlands recently. [13:24] Azusa     What? Really? [13:25] Owner     If you want me to tell you, [13:27] Owner     why don't you try throwing some     insults at those boys over there? [13:31] Owner     I'd appreciate it even more if you'd look     at them with dismay and displeasure, [13:36] Owner     as if you were looking at something filthy. [13:37] Azusa     What the hell kind of bar did we walk into? [13:40] Laika     Let's leave, Lady Azusa. [13:43] Azusa     If it'll get us information, though... [13:45] Customer 2     Hey, miss, I want to order something else. [13:49] Azusa     Could you keep your     booze-reeking mouth shut? [13:52] Azusa     It's rotting my ears. [13:53] SFX     Oink, oink! [13:55] Laika     Lady Azusa? [13:57] Customer 3     Hey, miss, what about me? [13:59] Azusa     One more word, and I'll kick you. [14:01] SFX     Oink! [14:02] Customer 4     Maybe I'll order the expensive booze! [14:05] Azusa     I think whatever's in the horse's water     bucket should be plenty for you. [14:08] SFX     Oink! [14:09] Customer 5     Hey, miss! Smile for me! [14:11] Azusa     Excuse me? Who said you     could give me orders? [14:15] SFX     Oink! [14:15] Customer 3     Verbal abuse is the best! [14:18] Customer 4     It was worth walking     three hours to get here! [14:20] Customer 5     I'm getting chills... [14:22] Laika     Lady Azusa, would you mind     if I ended these people? [14:26] Customer 2     Oh, those icy eyes make me tingle! [14:30] SFX     Oink, oink! [14:30] Customer 3     Put me down like I'm nothing but trash! [14:33] Laika     Quiet! Stay away from me, vermin! [14:36] SFX     Oink! [14:37] Customer 4     Give me more! [14:38] Laika     Keep your mouth shut! [14:40] Laika     Do you want to be torn apart     by a dragon's claws?! [14:42] Customer 5     Y-Yes, please! [14:42] SFX     Oink! [14:45] Laika     You obscene humans! [14:47] Laika     None of you have the authority     to make demands of me! [14:51] SFX     Oink! [14:53] Azusa     Laika, you're giving them too much service. [14:55] Owner     Thanks a lot! [14:57] Owner     Now these pigs will drop     lots of money for me again. [15:01] Owner     You wanted to know about the     Witch of the Highlands? [15:03] Owner     In that case, the pigs told     me north is the way to go. SIGN    The Road to the North [15:08] SFX     Zoom... [15:10] Female Spectator     My goodness! It's the     Witch of the Highlands! [15:13] Guy     We're so grateful you're here! [15:14] Laika     Lady Azusa. [15:15] Azusa     Yep. Found her. [15:18] Old Witch     I am the Witch of the Highlands. [15:21] Old Witch     I have lived in the highlands for 300 years. [15:24] Girl     Great Witch, please sell     your secret medicine! [15:28] Old Witch     My skills are not nearly good enough     to produce medicine worth selling. [15:34] Old Witch     I'll sell it after I've improved more. [15:38] Male Spectator 1     She's so humble! [15:39] Male SPectator 2     Just as the Witch of the     Highlands should be! [15:41] Azusa     You know that's not true! [15:43] Azusa     You've been at it for 300 years, right? [15:45] Azusa     How many years does it     take to become good enough? [15:48] Azusa     Being a witch isn't such a tough job that     you're still a rookie after 500 years! [15:53] Azusa     Everyone! This Witch of     the Highlands is a fake! [15:57] Azusa     I am the Witch of the Highlands'... friend! [16:01] Azusa     This woman looks nothing like her! [16:03] Male Spectator 1     She's a fake? [16:04] Male Spectator 2     I did hear that the Witch of the Highlands     was supposed to be a young beauty. [16:08] Azusa     Right? Right? [16:11] Azusa     Ahem! [16:12] Azusa     If you're the real Witch of the Highlands, [16:14] Azusa     surely you won't lose in a     magic battle against me. [16:17] SFX     Point! [16:19] Azusa     Therefore, I challenge you to a duel! [16:22] SFX     Blink, blink. [16:23] Azusa     Huh? [16:24] Laika     Lady Azusa, over there! [16:35] Azusa     Now, give it up! [16:41] Both     Huh? [16:42] Eno     I-I'm sorry! [16:43] Eno     You're right. I'm a fake! [16:46] Eno     I'm very sorry! [16:50] Eno     What?! [16:52] Eno     You're the real Witch of the Highlands?! [16:54] Eno     Now I'm even more sorry! [16:57] Azusa     Well, it doesn't seem like you     meant any harm, so it's okay... [17:01] Laika     But you do appear to be a witch. [17:03] Eno     Yes, I am a witch. My name is Eno. [17:07] Azusa     That aside, Eno... [17:10] Azusa     You're the type that likes     to look the part, huh? [17:14] Azusa     You make medicines here? [17:16] Eno     That's right! [17:18] Eno     These Mandragora Pills, for example, [17:20] Eno     are pills that I make from dried mandragora. [17:23] Eno     They relieve exhaustion and eye strain, [17:26] Eno     and they even keep your gut healthy! [17:29] Azusa     You make some pretty good stuff, then. [17:31] Azusa     I think this would be a     big hit if you sold it. [17:34] Eno     Oh, no. [17:35] Eno     I don't think it's wise for a witch     to advertise herself indiscreetly, [17:39] Eno     so I don't sell anything. [17:40] Azusa     That seems like a waste of talent. [17:43] Eno     But if someone came along and said     they wanted to sell it to the public, [17:47] Eno     I'd be willing to consider it... [17:49] Eno     You could say I like the idea of being     a genius only to those in the know. [17:54] Azusa     You're making this so complicated. [17:56] Laika     Pardon me... but isn't that a contradiction? [17:59] Eno     Huh? [18:00] Laika     You want to be familiar to those in the know, [18:03] Laika     but you also want to be known publicly?     You can't have it both ways. [18:07] Laika     I don't quite understand. [18:09] Eno     Well... yes. You're precisely right... [18:12] Eno     I just... you know... [18:14] Laika     There've been nothing but inconsistencies     in the things you've said. [18:18] Laika     Do you want to be known to     the public or don't you? [18:22] Laika     So what is it that you want, exactly? [18:24] Laika     What is your goal? [18:26] Laika     Could you explain it so that I,     an uneducated outsider, can understand? [18:30] Eno     W-Well... [18:33] Azusa     Laika, that's enough. I'll explain it. [18:37] Azusa     See, humans have this thing called vanity. [18:41] Azusa     Eno's vanity takes the form of wanting [18:43] Azusa     to be a genius witch who isn't into doing     business and is only known to those who know. [18:48] Azusa     But at the same time, you have the desire     to be recognized as a great witch, right? [18:55] Laika     But that's... [18:57] Azusa     Yes, it's a contradiction. [18:59] Azusa     But humans are walking contradictions     in the first place. [19:03] Laika     Is that how it is? [19:05] Azusa     This is just my personal opinion, [19:08] Azusa     but am I correct? [19:10] Eno     Yes... You are right. I'm sorry. [19:14] Azusa     In other words, you want     to be fawned over, right? [19:17] Eno     Yes! I want people to fawn over me! [19:20] Azusa     Is that all? [19:23] Eno     No. [19:24] Eno     I want to stand out more and     be gazed upon with admiration! [19:28] Eno     And... [19:30] Eno     I'd like someone to make     a bronze statue of me [19:32] Eno     and be treated like some sort of     honored citizen in my hometown! [19:36] Azusa     You're spouting some very     worldly desires suddenly. [19:40] Azusa     What do you think you'd need     to do to achieve all that? [19:43] Eno     Th-The only way is to do things     that will make me famous! [19:47] Azusa     Yes, well said. [19:49] Azusa     So let's start doing that, then. [19:52] Eno     Huh? [19:57] Falfa     Wow! [19:58] Azusa     This is a pretty big marketplace. [20:01] Shalsha     Mama, where is this witch's shop? [20:04] Azusa     Uh, I think it was A-23b? [20:08] Halkara     Oh, it's along the wall!     The wall is the best spot! [20:12] Azusa     Is this a doujinshi convention or what?! [20:17] Eno     Witch of the Highlands! [20:20] Azusa     Eno... Is that... [20:23] Eno     Well, you know how I suffer     from stage fright, right? [20:26] Eno     So I decided to overcome my     embarrassment by becoming [20:30] Eno     someone completely different from myself! [20:33] Azusa     I see. [20:34] Azusa     Well, if it makes sense     to you, I'm all for it. [20:38] Azusa     Where are Laika and Flatorte, anyway? [20:41] Laika     Get your Red Dragon brand butter cookies! [20:44] Flatorte     Try some cookies made with beans roasted     in the valley of the Blue Dragons! [20:48] Laika     Mine are better than the ones beside me! [20:50] Flatorte     The ones beside me aren't worth considering! [20:54] Azusa     For the love of... [20:56] Rosalie     Don't you walk up to me     grinning like morons! [20:59] Rosalie     I'll make you regret that in the next life! [21:01] Rosalie     Go wash your faces in a     ditch and never come back! [21:06] Customer 1     Insult me more! [21:07] Customer 2     Lady Rosalie! [21:09] Azusa     She might be perfect for that job... [21:11] Eno     Yes, one bottle of Mandragora Pills. [21:14] Eno     Thank you very much! [21:17] Azusa     With that, Eno's shop turned     out to be fairly successful, [21:20] Azus     and she was able to shed a few     layers in more ways than one. [21:26] Laika     Lady Azusa, you have mail. [21:29] Azusa     Oh, it's from Eno! [21:32] Eno     Dearest Lady Azusa. [21:35] Eno     Thank you for your help the other day. [21:38] Eno     Thanks to you, my Mandragora Pills became     all the rage through word of mouth, [21:42] Eno     and sales have been explosive! [21:44] Eno     I can't produce enough to keep up. [21:46] Eno     I'm struggling to figure out     what I should do about this. [21:50] Azusa     Wow, so that medicine became a hit? [21:54] Laika     It sounds like she's quite popular. [21:56] Halkara     Hmm... [21:57] Halkara     It sounds as if she might work     out as a new business partner. [22:01] Azusa     Well, she was able to draw     out her latent talent. [22:04] Azusa     Maybe this was for the best.