7 - Sending My Feelings... (To the Bathroom)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    We're... breaking up?\n
[00:03] ---
    Because you failed at the hula-hoop?\n
[00:28] ---
    "FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[01:40] ---
    I couldn't make it over\nthe wall that I am to myself.\n
[01:44] ---
    So the only thing to do is to break up.\n
[01:46] ---
    But you were only three\naway from your 200 target!\n
[01:50] ---
    If you round up, that was 200!
[01:52] ---
    Round up... shisha gonyu...
[01:54] ---
    "The five-breasted dead"\n
[01:56] ---
    "Boi-oi-oi-oing"\n
[01:56] ---
    --So many boobs...\n
[01:57] ---
    --Did... did you say "boobs"?\n--So many boobs...\n
[01:58] ---
    --Did... did you say "boobs"?\n--So many boobs... So many boobs...\n
[01:59] ---
    --I bet Kanade's picturing something else entirely.\n--So many boobs... So many boobs...\n
[02:04] ---
    Kanade...\n
[02:06] ---
    I don't want to break up.\n
[02:10] ---
    Not when I've just\nreaffirmed that I do love you.\n
[02:15] ---
    Kaho...\n
[02:17] ---
    Kanade!\n
[02:19] ---
    Kanade... don't you get one last chance?\n
[02:23] ---
    One last chance?\n
[02:25] ---
    Huh?\n
[02:26] ---
    It's cool to be hard on yourself and all,\n
[02:28] ---
    but isn't a never-give-up spirit what makes a real man?
[02:32] ---
    You have a point...\n
[02:34] ---
    Kaho, will you give me one last chance?\n
[02:39] ---
    Yes, of course!\n
[02:43] ---
    Then... we'll throw triplefin for it.\n
[02:45] ---
    "Congrats on the Huge Catch!"\n
[02:46] ---
    Triplefin?\n
[02:49] ---
    Er. whoever wins three rounds of\nrock-paper-scissors is the winner.\n
[02:52] ---
    You say "Triplefin!" as you throw.\n
[02:55] ---
    Okay, Kaho... let's do this!\n
[02:57] ---
    What, with me?!
[02:59] ---
    Ready, and...\n
[03:01] ---
    Triplefin! Triplefin!\n
[03:05] ---
    Triplefin!\n
[03:11] ---
    Kaho... you're good at this.\n
[03:14] ---
    Why did I have to go and win three in a row?\n
[03:20] ---
    I guess this is fate.\n
[03:24] ---
    Farewell.\n
[03:26] ---
    Poof.\n
[03:30] ---
    Kanade...\n
[03:36] ---
    Miss Nikaido!\n
[03:39] ---
    Why the face?\n
[03:42] ---
    If you like Kaho,\nyou should be glad they broke up.\n
[03:47] ---
    Why'd you even mention\nthat "one last chance" stuff?\n
[03:50] ---
    I just... I don't want to see\nthe person I like looking sad...\n
[03:59] ---
    Well, in a sense,\n
[04:00] ---
    you did finish them off in the lousiest way possible.
[04:12] ---
    From the moment we met...\nthough I didn't know why...\n
[04:16] ---
    I was attracted to him...\nhe made my heart pound...\n
[04:20] ---
    Soon Kanade was all I could think about.\n
[04:24] ---
    Dating or broken up:\n
[04:26] ---
    I doubt words like that will\nchange my relationship with him.\n
[04:32] ---
    I'm sure my beloved Kanade\nwill still be there tomorrow.\n
[04:37] ---
    I don't need to be his girlfriend right now.\n
[04:40] ---
    If we can't love at the same speed...\nI'll wait till we can.\n
[04:47] ---
    Come tomorrow, I know Kanade will be the same.\n
[04:52] ---
    "Sending My Feelings... (To the Bathroom)"\n
[04:55] ---
    Brrrm! Boosh! Screee!\n
[04:57] ---
    Good morninja!\n
[04:59] ---
    Here: the Kanade Times!\n
[05:01] ---
    --He's the same old Kanade, all right!\n--Good boy.\n
[05:02] ---
    --He's the same old Kanade, all right!\n--Okay, so gimme your seaweed!\n
[05:04] ---
    G-Good morning, Kanade!\n
[05:08] ---
    Eh?\n
[05:10] ---
    You okay?\n
[05:11] ---
    I don't need breakfast today...\n
[05:16] ---
    Why'd you ignore her?\n
[05:19] ---
    We broke up.\n
[05:23] ---
    I'm not the type to be friends with my exes.\n
[05:28] ---
    --You've never dated\nbefore--how can you be a "type"?\n
[05:28] ---
    --Looks like he's seen some\n--You've never dated before--\n
[05:29] ---
    --less-than-wholesome TV shows.\n--how can you be a "type"?\n
[05:32] ---
    Once you break up,\nnot being nice is best for both of you.\n
[05:35] ---
    Did your mom tell you that?\n
[05:39] ---
    You just do whatever she says, don't you.\n
[05:42] ---
    You love your mother? Like, an Oedipus complex?\n
[05:47] ---
    Are you mad?\n
[05:49] ---
    Kids get mad when you tell them\nthey have an Oedipus complex.\n
[05:54] ---
    There's nothing wrong with loving\nthe person who gave birth to you.\n
[05:59] ---
    And I don't do whatever she says.
[06:01] ---
    I'm just trusting the words\nof someone I love and trust.\n
[06:08] ---
    That's very true.\n
[06:10] ---
    I was wrong. Sorry.\n
[06:13] ---
    'S okay.\n
[06:15] ---
    Must be lonely, not being able to see your mom.\n
[06:18] ---
    I'm not lonely. Everyone's here with me.\n
[06:23] ---
    Everyone...\n
[06:29] ---
    I'll show you Namiko's upbeat riding style!\n
[06:30] ---
    "Namiko Kaneko (Tom's Mom)"\nI'll show you Namiko's upbeat riding style!\n
[06:31] ---
    I'll show you Namiko's upbeat riding style!\n
[06:39] ---
    The demanding game of diving\nthrough a hula-hoop you've thrown\n
[06:43] ---
    requires the leg strength\nto run alongside the hoop\n
[06:45] ---
    and a high level of balance,\nplus flexibility and decisiveness,\n
[06:50] ---
    when jumping through it.\n
[06:52] ---
    Records tell of five princes\nin ancient Greece playing this game\n
[06:54] ---
    to determine who would take the throne,\n
[06:57] ---
    and the theory that this\nwas the origin of the Ol*mpics\n
[07:00] ---
    is today considered the most credible.\n
[07:05] ---
    Gin, it's your turn!\n
[07:08] ---
    But it's a dangerous game... can you keep up?\n
[07:13] ---
    The more dangerous the game,\nthe more exciting it is.\n
[07:16] ---
    I'll show you a man's game\nthat'll really make your crotch sting!\n
[07:28] ---
    What?! Instead of going\nthrough the hoop, he ran past it!\n
[07:33] ---
    Uh-oh--this isn't good!\n
[07:35] ---
    It's gonna hit your wner!\n
[07:44] ---
    Wha--he actually did it!\n
[07:47] ---
    Not so fast!\n
[07:50] ---
    Huh? Backspin?!
[08:00] ---
    R-Right between the cheeks!\n
[08:03] ---
    Why do you think I'm always\ntraining my sphincter muscle, huh?\n
[08:09] ---
    I should've known: your w°°ner and your butt have airtight defenses!
[08:12] ---
    Next up is Kanade. Your turn!\n
[08:14] ---
    Go on!\n
[08:16] ---
    I don't have the right to\nuse one of those anymore.\n
[08:22] ---
    I see.\n
[08:23] ---
    So you broke up with her?\n
[08:25] ---
    If only I'd played a rock...!\n
[08:29] ---
    Aw, chin up.\n
[08:31] ---
    There are as many women as stars in the sky--\n
[08:34] ---
    that's what my big brother said.\n
[08:36] ---
    We have some in our clinic, too. Wanna stop by?\n
[08:39] ---
    Gin, Tom...\n
[08:44] ---
    Thanks.\n
[08:45] ---
    Cut it out--you're making us blush!\n
[08:48] ---
    That is what friends are for!\n
[09:00] ---
    I do know this isn't what I meant
[09:03] ---
    --Should we get a teacher?\n--by "waiting for Kanade"...\n
[09:06] ---
    But I'm curious about him.\n
[09:09] ---
    Oh, Kanade--\n
[09:13] ---
    G-Going home, Takahashi?\n
[09:16] ---
    Yeah, Tom and Gin are in the\nbathroom. I'm waiting for them.\n
[09:21] ---
    Kanade, I heard you\nbroke up with your girlfriend.\n
[09:23] ---
    Yeah, high-school girls are over the hill.\n
[09:27] ---
    I'm glad we're through.\n
[09:30] ---
    Man, what's keeping them?\nOh, they might be pooping!\n
[09:34] ---
    They did have seconds at lunch.
[09:36] ---
    U-Uh, yeah, being growing young men and all...\n
[09:39] ---
    So anyway, I'm a free agent now.\n
[09:42] ---
    Really? Then maybe I'll put in a bid!\n
[09:48] ---
    Er, excuse me?\n
[09:50] ---
    Yes, what? Can't you see I'm bus--\n
[09:53] ---
    Um, what exactly are you doing here?\n
[09:56] ---
    I-It's not what you think!\n
[09:58] ---
    I'm not a deviant or anything, I just... um...\n
[10:01] ---
    I know! I'm just a high-school girl\ninterested in a primary-school boy!\n
[10:05] ---
    Come with me.\n
[10:08] ---
    Y-You've got it all wrong!\n
[10:12] ---
    What is it?\n
[10:13] ---
    I guess I'm just hearing things.\n
[10:20] ---
    Thanks for waiting, figure skating!\n
[10:21] ---
    You fed up? It's a setup!\n
[10:23] ---
    Bye, Fukaya.\n
[10:25] ---
    Later, gator!\n
[10:27] ---
    A moment, if you please?\n
[10:30] ---
    Hup!\n
[10:34] ---
    I'm terribly sorry for the disturbance.\n
[10:36] ---
    No, not at all...\n
[10:38] ---
    Hey, it's Kaz's muttler.\n
[10:41] ---
    Mutt? His pet?\n
[10:44] ---
    Yeah, Kaz's pet.\n
[10:51] ---
    Such gracious words!\n
[10:53] ---
    Master Kanade, Master Tom, Master Gin...\n
[10:57] ---
    Would you please lend me,\nMunemitsu Makurazaki, your assistance?\n
[11:00] ---
    Master Kaz is in certain crisis!\n
[11:04] ---
    The setup!\n
[11:11] ---
    In the ten years since I began\nmy service at the weaning ceremony\n
[11:14] ---
    100 days after his birth,\n
[11:15] ---
    "Bath" "Akemi's Bar"\n100 days after his birth,\n
[11:17] ---
    I have never seen the\nyoung master in such a state.\n
[11:25] ---
    Unbelievably, that perfect young master...\n
[11:28] ---
    ...is confusing his Tuesday\nand Wednesday schedules!\n
[11:32] ---
    Failing to arrange his\npencils by length in their case!\n
[11:35] ---
    Even misbuttoning his shirts!\n
[11:37] ---
    Kaz is?!
[11:39] ---
    You could probably let that stuff slide...
[11:41] ---
    That must be why. His temperature is 97.2,\n
[11:45] ---
    so he is staying home from school.\n
[11:46] ---
    Kaz is?!
[11:48] ---
    That's a normal temperature.\n
[11:50] ---
    "pull pull gnaw pull"\n
[11:50] ---
    "pull pull gnaw pull"\nIt would appear that the young master\n
[11:52] ---
    "pull pull gnaw pull"\nhas been stricken with lovesickness!\n
[11:55] ---
    Huh?!\n
[11:56] ---
    Huh.\n
[11:57] ---
    Please, I beg of you!\nSeek out the object of his affection!\n
[12:03] ---
    And when she is found...\n
[12:05] ---
    ...for the young master's sake,\nI, Makurazaki, will...!\n
[12:10] ---
    All right.\n
[12:12] ---
    We're on the case!\n
[12:16] ---
    They see the single truth for what it is,\n
[12:18] ---
    and look like adults but have the minds of kids!\n
[12:21] ---
    Their name? The Bamboo\nPrimary Young Detective Squad!\n
[12:25] ---
    And with that, the Young\nDetective Squad is in business!\n
[12:29] ---
    C'mon, Jigen!\n
[12:30] ---
    Yep!\n
[12:31] ---
    Goemon!\n
[12:34] ---
    Aren't those thieves, not detectives?\n
[12:37] ---
    Okay, so according to our witness's testimony...\n
[12:40] ---
    A short while ago,\n
[12:42] ---
    I fell in love with the\nowner of this poem notebook.\n
[12:46] ---
    Her tears and her pure heart poured\nout in these pages touched me so...\n
[12:52] ---
    --Poem?\n--Pure...\n
[12:56] ---
    No luck.\n
[12:57] ---
    Which means Kasumi House\nwasn't the scene of the crime.\n
[13:01] ---
    So where was this going on?\n
[13:04] ---
    It didn't happen in the gym!\n
[13:07] ---
    Not in the infirmary, either.\n
[13:09] ---
    Then the bathrooms? We can't block those off!\n
[13:12] ---
    That's... the police, not detectives.\n
[13:15] ---
    A girl we've never met...\n
[13:18] ---
    I've solved the whole mystery!\n
[13:20] ---
    My grandfather's name is Yonekichi!\n
[13:21] ---
    Idiot.\n
[13:22] ---
    The culprit... is Bathroom Hanako!\n
[13:27] ---
    Um, I know I kind of got\nswept up into following you here,\n
[13:30] ---
    but I'm going to head back.\n
[13:34] ---
    S-Say what?!\n
[13:36] ---
    Hanako... is that her name?\n
[13:39] ---
    Yep. Our flawless deductions led us right to it.\n
[13:45] ---
    I see... So her name is Hanako.\n
[13:53] ---
    And where does she live?\n
[13:55] ---
    I hate to tell you this, but...\n
[13:57] ---
    In the bathroom!\n
[13:59] ---
    I-In... the bathroom?!
[14:02] ---
    "Bathroom Hanako"\n
[14:02] ---
    "Bathroom Hanako"\nOur search revealed that\n
[14:03] ---
    "Bathroom Hanako"\nshe's always in the bathroom.\n
[14:06] ---
    No way would a lady live somewhere like that!\n
[14:09] ---
    Maybe she's got a bad stomach.\n
[14:10] ---
    Ah--so she's pooping.\n
[14:13] ---
    What a rude thing to say about a lady!\n
[14:14] ---
    No, Kaz. Even women get\nupset stomachs sometimes.\n
[14:21] ---
    But that means Hanako is suffering\nalone in the bathroom even now...\n
[14:28] ---
    Why don't you get some medicine to her?\n
[14:31] ---
    I, the future OB/GYN, agree.\n
[14:35] ---
    B-But to enter a bathroom with a lady present...\n
[14:39] ---
    I-It's far too early!\n
[14:40] ---
    What are you saying, Kaz?\n
[14:42] ---
    The woman you love is suffering!\n
[14:45] ---
    I couldn't ignore that if it were me.\n
[14:48] ---
    If it were me...!\n
[14:51] ---
    Kanade?\n
[14:53] ---
    Kanade broke up with his girlfriend.\n
[14:55] ---
    What? Is that true, Kanade?\n
[14:59] ---
    It's all over.\n
[15:03] ---
    I'm sorry. I--\n
[15:05] ---
    But it's not all over for you.\n
[15:08] ---
    Get that medicine to the one you\nlove with your own two hands!\n
[15:12] ---
    Kanade... what a guy...!\n
[15:16] ---
    C'mon, Kaz!\n
[15:18] ---
    See? We've got the medicine ready.\n
[15:21] ---
    Tom... Gin...\n
[15:30] ---
    Why all the snooping around... Kota?
[15:34] ---
    More of your usual eavesdropping, eh?\n
[15:37] ---
    Pure trash as ever.\n
[15:39] ---
    N-No! Kanade just came back really hyped up...\n
[15:44] ---
    I didn't want to get involved.\n
[15:46] ---
    Yeah, you're a nice toy for those brats.\n
[15:50] ---
    Who are you calling a toy?!\n
[15:54] ---
    All right!\n
[15:57] ---
    The Young Detective Squad is on the move!\n
[16:00] ---
    Detectives?\n
[16:01] ---
    Yeah.\n
[16:02] ---
    Just between us...\n
[16:04] ---
    ...our sleuthwork has revealed\nwho Kaz's mystery woman is.\n
[16:08] ---
    Kaz? Oh, that normal primary-schooler.\n
[16:12] ---
    Seems it was love at first sight\nwhen he saw her pure poems\n
[16:15] ---
    at our place yesterday.\n
[16:19] ---
    Love at first sight, eh?\n
[16:21] ---
    Her name is Bathroom Hanako!\n
[16:23] ---
    And if we can get the two of\nthem together, it'll be case closed!\n
[16:28] ---
    I see...\n
[16:30] ---
    Okay, we're off to the scene!\n
[16:32] ---
    Now hang on a sec, Kanade!\n
[16:35] ---
    Bro!\n
[16:36] ---
    I heard all about it.\nDon't be gettin' one up on me, now!\n
[16:40] ---
    This is a job for Joji Takahashi,\nprimary-school detective of the west!\n
[16:45] ---
    Are you joining us, Bro?!\n
[16:47] ---
    The western Takahashi'll step\nforth with the eastern Takahashi!\n
[16:52] ---
    It's Takahashi all the way down!\n
[16:56] ---
    Um, so... I'll just be going...\n
[17:01] ---
    You know something about this.\n
[17:03] ---
    I-I don't.\n
[17:05] ---
    You know what'll happen\nif you don't tell me... right?\n
[17:11] ---
    Actually... Kaz's mystery girl...\n
[17:16] ---
    ...is probably me, dressed as a girl.\n
[17:19] ---
    Huh!\n
[17:21] ---
    Ah! You look like you just got a juicy scoop!\n
[17:24] ---
    Maaaybe.\n
[17:29] ---
    Infiltration complete.\n
[17:30] ---
    Oof!\n
[17:31] ---
    To the school building!\n
[17:33] ---
    --Yep!\n--Roger!\n
[17:33] ---
    Dodger!\n
[17:36] ---
    For the class president\nto be doing such a thing...\n
[17:39] ---
    No--not as long as it's for her.\n
[17:45] ---
    How'd I get dragged into this?\n
[17:46] ---
    Children need supervision, right? Come on.\n
[17:57] ---
    What's that?\n
[17:58] ---
    Hanako's poem notebook.\n
[18:01] ---
    I thought I'd return it\nthe next time I saw her...\n
[18:04] ---
    ...so I've kept it on me.\n
[18:06] ---
    I see... You know, she might\njust be a lot closer than you think.\n
[18:12] ---
    Yes, I never thought we'd be at the same school.\n
[18:16] ---
    What the heck?\n
[18:18] ---
    It's locked!\n
[18:19] ---
    Well, it is night...
[18:22] ---
    So that makes this a locked room?\n
[18:24] ---
    Well, it's not a room.\n
[18:28] ---
    --Anybody there?!\n--Kanade!\n
[18:30] ---
    A locked room? That's the perfect crime!\n
[18:33] ---
    The primary-school detective\nof the west'll solve this for sure!\n
[18:37] ---
    Wait, Bro!\n
[18:38] ---
    We might have been way wrong about all this!\n
[18:42] ---
    Whatcha mean, Kanade?\n
[18:44] ---
    How could Hanako have gotten\ninto the school if it's locked?\n
[18:49] ---
    You're right... Teachers should be\nthe only ones with keys to the school.\n
[18:54] ---
    Hang on: then Hanako\ncan't get into the bathroom!\n
[18:57] ---
    Isn't this conversation taking a strange turn?\n
[19:00] ---
    Oh, what's the harm?\n
[19:02] ---
    Maybe Hanako could get in without a key.
[19:06] ---
    Yeah, but Kanade... if that's true, then...\n
[19:09] ---
    Hanako's really a...\n
[19:11] ---
    No, that's too unscientific to be true!\n
[19:15] ---
    Didn't you know?\n
[19:19] ---
    Bathroom Hanako... \n
[19:21] ---
    ...is a ghost.\n
[19:23] ---
    Q?\n
[19:24] ---
    Atsushi, are you serious?\n
[19:26] ---
    Oh no, oh no, oh no!\n
[19:27] ---
    I just remembered something I have to do.\n
[19:29] ---
    No, Gin is not running away.
[19:31] ---
    I spotted the entrance to the\ncontinent of Mu over there is all.\n
[19:33] ---
    Y-Y'all are a buncha babies\nif y'all are scared of a li'l ghost...\n
[19:36] ---
    Hanako's a ghost?\n
[19:38] ---
    So I'm betting the girl you like is not Bathroom Hanako.
[19:45] ---
    G-Guys?\n
[19:47] ---
    Aw, they left!\n
[19:50] ---
    Kids are the best.\n
[19:52] ---
    If you were going to tell them she was a ghost,\n
[19:54] ---
    you should've told them right away!\n
[19:56] ---
    Who's there?\n
[19:59] ---
    You handle this, you stupid spook!
[20:01] ---
    Let's go.\n
[20:02] ---
    Ah! Wait up!\n
[20:04] ---
    Hey, you! Stop right there!\n
[20:13] ---
    Hanako...\n
[20:18] ---
    We can't be having this, you know.\n
[20:21] ---
    Pulling this nonsense twice in one day?\n
[20:25] ---
    I don't know what made me do it!\n
[21:59] ---
    Poop!\n
[22:01] ---
    --Poop!\n--Poop!\n
[22:02] ---
    Why are you so excited to be\ntalking about p--er, number two?\n
[22:09] ---
    "The School-Pooping Problem"\n
[22:09] ---
    Now, it seems there were once\nmany children who couldn't p--\n
[22:13] ---
    --...go number two in the school bathrooms.\n
[22:15] ---
    --My turn at last! Phew!\n--...go number two in the school bathrooms.\n
[22:19] ---
    Yeah, we were like that when we were kids.\n
[22:23] ---
    Arashi! It's the other way around!\n
[22:24] ---
    Your spoken line and\nyour inner monologue are switched!\n
[22:28] ---
    Found out, eh?\n
[22:29] ---
    It sure was rough back then.\n
[22:33] ---
    Once they found out\nyou did number two at school,\n
[22:35] ---
    you'd get stuck with the\nnickname "Pooperman" till graduation.\n
[22:40] ---
    So what did you do when you had to poop?\n
[22:43] ---
    Just hold it till you get home... maybe?\n
[22:46] ---
    What if you couldn't?
[22:51] ---
    If ya don't wanna get caught,\ndo it before anyone sees ya.\n
[22:55] ---
    The Naniwa Speed Coaster\nis a speedy pooper, too!\n
[22:59] ---
    But why hide it? Everyone poops, right?\n
[23:04] ---
    Amen. Heck, I always tell\nthe girls before I'm off to poop.\n
[23:08] ---
    Please, Gin, show some restraint.\n
[23:12] ---
    But it really was rough.\n
[23:14] ---
    I don't go to the bathroom.\n
[23:16] ---
    Huh?\n
[23:17] ---
    Yeah, but...\n
[23:19] ---
    I don't.\n
[23:20] ---
    T-Taga?\n
[23:21] ---
    I don't.
[23:23] ---
    Are you an idol?\n
[23:25] ---
    Ken Tanaka here.\n
[23:26] ---
    Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:29] ---
    Ken. Tanaka. Ken Tanaka here.\n
[23:33] ---
    All on the next *FIRST LOVE MONSTER|: *
[23:35] ---
    "Kanade's Telephone Helpline."\n
[23:38] ---**
    Sorry. I'm off today.\n