2 - Ah, Kasumi House

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] ---
    It's morning.\n
[00:12] ---
    No matter how much happens,\n
[00:15] ---
    morning will come.\n
[00:25] ---
    Coming!\n
[00:28] ---
    Yo!\n
[00:30] ---
    Want breakfast?\n
[00:31] ---
    Y-Yes! I do! I'll be right there!\n
[00:34] ---
    'Kay!\n
[00:38] ---
    Of course--when we live under the same roof,\n
[00:42] ---
    we'll see each other right when we wake up.\n
[00:47] ---
    Just so you know,\nI'm against you and Kanade dating.\n
[00:55] ---
    Yeah. No way can I be\nwith someone in primary school.\n
[01:10] ---
    Good morning! You must be Miss Nikaido.\n
[01:13] ---
    Y-Yes, Kaho Nikaido.\n
[01:16] ---
    Sorry I've been out.\nI'm the landlord, Shugo Takahashi.\n
[01:21] ---
    Huh?!\n
[01:22] ---
    Takahashi? So that means...\n
[01:24] ---
    Might you be Kanade's...\n
[01:27] ---
    Father, yep!\n
[01:29] ---
    "Shugo Takahashi: Househusband" This guy?
[01:32] ---
    --K-Kanade, be quiet!\n--Wake up, Kota!\n
[01:36] ---
    Sorry he's so loud so early in the morning.\n
[01:38] ---
    N-Not at all...\n
[01:40] ---
    He's always been a rambunctious one,\n
[01:42] ---
    but after his mom died two years back,\n
[01:44] ---
    he's getting to be a real handful.\n
[01:46] ---
    --C'mon, Shinohara, do something about Kanade!\n--Cut it out, Kanade! I'm up already, I'm up!\n
[01:53] ---
    Ah, but just think of him as a little brother\n
[01:55] ---
    and play with him every now and then.\n
[01:57] ---
    S-Sure...\n
[01:59] ---
    L-Little brother? He's my boyfriend!\n
[02:03] ---
    Not that I can tell him that.
[02:26] ---
    "FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[03:37] ---
    "Ah, Kasumi House"\n
[03:47] ---
    Wh-Who are you?!\n
[03:48] ---
    You must be Kaho! You're so cute!\n
[03:52] ---
    So cute, cute, cutey-cute-cute!\n
[03:56] ---
    Behind you!\n
[04:01] ---
    B-But you're the cutest in the whole wide world, Chiaki!
[04:05] ---
    What on earth is going on here?\n
[04:07] ---
    That's Arashi Nagasawa,\na grad student and Chiaki's boyfriend.\n
[04:13] ---
    Why, you...\n
[04:13] ---
    "Arashi Nagasawa: 1st-Year Grad Student"\nWhy, you...\n
[04:17] ---
    Boyfriend and girlfriend, huh?\n
[04:24] ---
    Time to dig in!\n
[04:27] ---
    Wh-What is it?\n
[04:29] ---
    Gimme your seaweed.\n
[04:31] ---
    Oh, uh, here.\n
[04:33] ---
    Thank you!\n
[04:34] ---
    Yours, too, Kota.\n
[04:36] ---
    I-I already ate it!\n
[04:38] ---
    Tch!\n
[04:39] ---
    And Arashi?\n
[04:40] ---
    You can't have it.\n
[04:42] ---
    Aw, c'mon, Arashi--\n
[04:44] ---
    You sit down!\n
[04:46] ---
    But--\n
[04:47] ---
    One packet of seaweed per person. Got it?\n
[04:50] ---
    Yeah...\n
[04:52] ---
    Kanade bumming his beloved\nseaweed off people--so cute!\n
[04:56] ---
    Oh, that's right, Miss Nikaido...\n
[04:59] ---
    Yes?\n
[05:00] ---
    I haven't explained the various ins\nand outs of Kasumi House yet, have I?\n
[05:05] ---
    Right.\n
[05:06] ---
    I can do that later, if you don't mind.\n
[05:09] ---
    Please do, then!\n
[05:11] ---
    Th-Thanks in advance.\n
[05:19] ---
    Taga is so kind...\n
[05:23] ---
    So, like, what do you do when you're dating?\n
[05:26] ---
    C'mon, tell me!\n
[05:29] ---
    Geez, Kanade--not in front of everyone!\n
[05:30] ---
    --And your dad, too!\n--Where'd that come from?\n
[05:33] ---
    Well, thing is--\n
[05:35] ---
    Uh-oh!\n
[05:36] ---
    Probably from those\nsoap operas he's been watching lately.\n
[05:41] ---
    Ah, the TV again.\n
[05:43] ---
    Phew. Wait...\n
[05:46] ---
    Did Taga's covering for us actually work?\n
[05:50] ---
    Oh, hey: Arashi, you're\ndating Chiaki, so you must know.\n
[05:54] ---
    What do you do?\n
[05:56] ---
    Hmm... like, call her\nfirst thing in the morning?\n
[05:59] ---
    Call her?!
[06:00] ---
    And call her when you leave the house.\n
[06:02] ---
    Can't you text her?\n
[06:04] ---
    But when you're dating,\nyou want to hear her voice!\n
[06:08] ---
    Huh.\n
[06:09] ---
    But it looks like Chiaki has\nme on her reject list these days.\n
[06:14] ---
    Duh! It's way too creepy to be\ncalling me 90 times a day when we live\n
[06:17] ---
    in the same building!\n
[06:19] ---
    But I get three feet from you\nand already I want to hear your voice!\n
[06:24] ---
    Five calls, max!\n
[06:25] ---
    Okay, okay. Five it is.\n
[06:28] ---
    --Five calls...\n--Kanade, it's plain to see\n
[06:30] ---
    that Arashi is not a role model.
[06:33] ---
    Oh, okay. Then you tell me, Kota.
[06:35] ---
    Who, me?\n
[06:37] ---
    Well, uh... you can... hold hands, and, uh...\n
[06:40] ---
    Kanade, asking Kota the\nvirgin is even more useless.\n
[06:43] ---
    Virgin?\n
[06:45] ---
    Th-That has nothing to do with this!\n
[06:47] ---
    But you are a virgin, aren't you?
[06:51] ---
    Hey, Kaho...\n
[06:54] ---
    What's a virgin?\n
[06:57] ---
    Hey! That's not something you ask a girl!\n
[07:00] ---
    --Now eat already! --Aw! Why won't you tell me? Meanie!
[07:04] ---
    Never mind that, Kanade--\n
[07:05] ---
    weren't you supposed to hang out\nwith Gin and Tom this morning?\n
[07:09] ---
    Oh, right!\n
[07:19] ---
    The landlord usually makes our meals.\n
[07:23] ---
    Tell him if you're opting out.\n
[07:25] ---
    Okay.\n
[07:26] ---
    We have free reign of the kitchen,\n
[07:28] ---
    but don't eat anything without permission.\n
[07:31] ---
    Oh, and if you keep anything\nin the fridge, put your name on it.\n
[07:34] ---
    Like pudding and stuff.\n
[07:35] ---
    Got it.\n
[07:36] ---
    And the bath.\n
[07:38] ---
    Here's the timetable; write your\nname by the bathtime you'd like.\n
[07:44] ---
    Don't worry: it locks.\n
[07:46] ---
    Okay.\n
[07:47] ---
    And that should cover it.\n
[07:49] ---
    Thanks; that's very kind of you.\n
[07:51] ---
    It's nothing, really.\nOh, about your welcome party...\n
[07:56] ---
    Huh? For me?\n
[07:58] ---
    Of course. How about my room, later today?\n
[08:01] ---
    Oh, sure, that'll work.\n
[08:04] ---
    Good! We're all so glad you're here.\n
[08:07] ---
    Thank you so much.\n
[08:08] ---
    Okay, see you later.\n
[08:10] ---
    Uh-huh! Thanks again!\n
[08:14] ---
    A welcome party?\nI'm a little nervous, but happy, too.\n
[08:20] ---
    Oh, could you put any\ncardboard boxes out by the trash?\n
[08:24] ---
    Sure thing.\n
[08:26] ---
    I'm heading out for some shopping.\n
[08:28] ---
    S-See you later!\n
[08:34] ---
    If Kanade's dad found out\nI was dating his primary-school son...\n
[08:42] ---
    Indecent?\n
[08:43] ---
    Criminal?\n
[08:44] ---
    Perverted?\n
[08:46] ---
    ...Yeah, that would not be good.
[09:00] ---
    Wh-What are you doing?!\n
[09:02] ---
    What? I like upper arms!\n
[09:04] ---
    Yeah, but so suddenly?\n
[09:05] ---
    Can't I?\n
[09:07] ---
    Well, it's more that, uh...\n
[09:09] ---
    I mean, you're my girlfriend.\n
[09:13] ---
    Girlfriend? Oh, geez... I'm blushing...\n
[09:17] ---
    You can't go around touching girls.\n
[09:20] ---
    Unless it's your girlfriend.\n
[09:22] ---
    That's what I've been taught.\n
[09:23] ---
    By who?\n
[09:25] ---
    My mom.\n
[09:26] ---
    Your mom told you that?\n
[09:29] ---
    Yep!\n
[09:33] ---
    I still can't believe\nthis guy is in primary school...\n
[09:37] ---
    Kanade! We're here for some ele-fun!\n
[09:41] ---
    Oh, Mr. Elephant, your trunk is so long!\n
[09:45] ---
    And your wner, too--\n
[09:48] ---
    it's sooo long! Boi-oing!\n
[09:52] ---
    He's in primary school, all right.\n
[09:55] ---
    Bamboo Primary's jump-rope\ncompetition is early next week,\n
[09:58] ---
    so we're gonna practice!\n
[09:59] ---
    Oh, are you?\n
[10:01] ---
    I want to beat the record in criss-cross!\n
[10:04] ---
    Cr-Criss-cross?\n
[10:09] ---
    "Criss-cross" is a highly\ndifficult variation on jumping rope,\n
[10:12] ---
    wherein the jumper must\njump through the gap formed\n
[10:15] ---
    where the rope is crossed.\n
[10:17] ---
    It's also called "double jump" or\n"speed jump" depending on the region.\n
[10:22] ---
    Incidentally, we have confirmed reports\n
[10:25] ---
    that the sting of a jumprope\nagainst one's bare leg as a child\n
[10:28] ---
    has opened some individuals' eyes\nto masochism in adulthood.\n
[10:36] ---
    I'm a criss-cross pro--\n
[10:39] ---
    I can jump 30 times in a row!\n
[10:40] ---
    I'll show you, Kaho.\n
[10:42] ---
    I-I sure would like to see that.\n
[10:45] ---
    I'm practicing triple-unders!
[10:48] ---
    I'd rather tie stuff up instead!\n
[10:51] ---
    Aw, but jumping is way more fun!\n
[10:57] ---
    Good morning, Kaho.\n
[10:59] ---
    G-Good morning.\n
[11:02] ---
    Hey, Kaho, come jump rope with us!\n
[11:04] ---
    Well, uh...\n
[11:07] ---
    I-I still have a lot of tidying-up\nto do after my move-in.\n
[11:11] ---
    Oh, okay. Well, come when you're done!\n
[11:14] ---
    Y-Yep, I will--when I'm done!\n
[11:17] ---
    Okay, off we go yodel-oh!\n
[11:19] ---
    Off we godel-odel-oh!\n
[11:20] ---
    Yodel-ay-pee-poo!\n
[11:22] ---
    Byeee!\n
[11:24] ---
    If you'll excuse us.\n
[11:25] ---
    Uh, g-goodbye...\n
[11:32] ---
    Now that was a big sigh.
[11:40] ---
    Um...\n
[11:41] ---
    Truth is, I go for "pretty girls."\n
[11:45] ---
    Pardon?\n
[11:46] ---
    Well, to be precise,\nI like boys dressed as girls.\n
[11:49] ---
    So basically girl-boys.\n
[11:52] ---
    What?!\n
[11:53] ---
    Like Li'l Renren! Maybe you\ndon't--um, so what I mean is... this:\n
[12:01] ---
    This is all my Li'l Renren collection!\n
[12:08] ---
    Y-You sure do like those dolls, huh?\n
[12:12] ---
    Aren't I lucky? OMG, I can't stand it!
[12:15] ---
    Isn't Li'l Renren the cutest?! I could lick him all over!
[12:18] ---
    A little tee-hee right here,\n
[12:21] ---
    a little ooh-hoo where he's ticklish...\n
[12:23] ---
    Oh, my fantasies are in overdrive! I'm breathless!
[12:28] ---
    Sorry I lost myself like that.\nYou must be scandalized.\n
[12:33] ---
    But you know,\nChiaki still accepts me, even like this.\n
[12:38] ---
    So it's okay.\n
[12:40] ---
    You're big-hearted enough\nto accept your partner, right?\n
[12:45] ---
    Even if he's in primary school?\n
[12:47] ---
    No sweat. What's five years?\n
[12:49] ---
    Chiaki and I are five years apart.\nAge has nothing to do with it--\n
[12:55] ---
    as long as you have love.\n
[12:57] ---
    Love?!\n
[12:58] ---
    Yeah, love. Love!\n
[13:02] ---
    But I can't help feeling\nthat a girl like me has no excuse\n
[13:07] ---
    being Kanade's girlfriend.\n
[13:09] ---
    Kaho, I feel like saying "the likes of me"\n
[13:13] ---
    is being rude to Chiaki,\nwho accepts me for who I am.\n
[13:19] ---
    I heard saying "the likes of me"\nwill mess you up for real.\n
[13:24] ---
    He's right.\n
[13:27] ---
    Kanade did accept me.\n
[13:31] ---
    Now I've got to accept him, too!\n
[13:36] ---
    Nagasawa's so kind.\nFor him to give me advice like this...\n
[13:42] ---
    I'm heading back to my room.\nThanks for all your--\n
[13:49] ---
    Oh, my little Renren--\n
[13:51] ---
    --you're so adorable!\n--Now for my thrilling\n
[13:54] ---
    "Renren" "Spotlight Artist of the Week"\nlive-on-the-air costume change--\n
[13:57] ---
    "Renren" "Spotlight Artist of the Week"\nafter these messages!\n
[14:03] ---
    "Renren" "Spotlight Artist of the Week"\nJust kidding! Tee-hee!\n
[14:12] ---
    Sorry I'm late!\n
[14:14] ---
    Where are they?\n
[14:17] ---
    Well, it sure is precious to me.
[14:20] ---
    What are they talking about?\nSomething precious to him?\n
[14:25] ---
    What's that saying,\nabout always being together?\n
[14:28] ---
    I know! "Joined at the n*p"!\n
[14:30] ---
    Tom, you mean "joined at the hip."\n
[14:33] ---
    --Right--it's like that.\n--Yeah!\n
[14:36] ---
    --Kanade?\n--But I wasn't far off with "joined at the n*p"!\n
[14:37] ---
    --What if this precious treasure\n--But I wasn't far off with "joined at the n*p"!\n
[14:38] ---
    suddenly went away tomorrow?\n
[14:42] ---
    --Ever think about that?\n--Stop it! I don't wanna think\n
[14:44] ---
    --Yeah, Gin, quit with the scary talk!\n--about anything that scary!\n
[14:47] ---
    Ah. You love it so much, it could\npoke you in the butt and it wouldn't hurt.\n
[14:51] ---
    Poke you in the eye, you mean.\n
[14:56] ---
    What?! That would definitely hurt!
[14:59] ---
    Right? Not in my eye!
[15:01] ---
    Um... you seem to be having\na very serious discussion.\n
[15:05] ---
    What are you talking about?\n
[15:07] ---
    Our most precious partners!\n
[15:10] ---
    Partners?!\n
[15:11] ---
    Never mind--we shouldn't\ntalk about this in front of Kaho.\n
[15:14] ---
    C'mon, let's be done with this.\n
[15:16] ---
    Oh...? So he's hiding\nsomething he can't tell me...\n
[15:21] ---
    I'm really sorry.\nWe don't want to be mean to you.\n
[15:26] ---
    I mean, you're the only one here without one.\n
[15:29] ---
    A wner, I mean.\n
[15:33] ---
    C'mon! N-No more of\nthis--not with a lady present!\n
[15:36] ---
    Huh? No more of what?\n
[15:39] ---
    No more beep talk!\n
[15:40] ---
    Hmm? Can't hear you.\n
[15:42] ---
    Beep talk, I said!\n
[15:44] ---
    What's this beep stuff?\nJust say "wner" like the rest of us!\n
[15:50] ---
    I will not!
[15:51] ---
    I'd give you one if I could...\nwell, I only have the one. Sorry.\n
[15:57] ---
    I'm sure you'd like one, too.\n
[16:00] ---
    No, I don't want one! Not in the slightest!\n
[16:05] ---
    Are you serious?
[16:07] ---
    But our precious wners mean the world to us!\n
[16:11] ---
    I was sure you of all people\nwould accept this treasure\n
[16:15] ---
    that we hold so dear!\n
[16:17] ---
    To think you'd be so quick\nto say you don't want a wner at all!\n
[16:22] ---
    Now what? Kanade's getting all depressed!\n
[16:26] ---
    Um...\n
[16:28] ---
    I do want a w°°ner, Kanade!
[16:32] ---
    Of course you do!
[16:35] ---
    --That's a given! Ha ha! Right? Phew!\n--Did I just blurt out what I think I blurted out?\n
[16:40] ---
    I knew you'd understand.\n
[16:41] ---
    --At least they're all smiling again, though... right?\n--I mean, who doesn't want a treasure, am I right?\n
[16:47] ---
    "Kasumi House"\n
[16:50] ---
    I never did get to see you\njump criss-cross, Kanade.\n
[16:55] ---
    I'm done with lunch,\nso we can hit the park again later.\n
[16:59] ---
    Criss-cross! Criss-cross!\n
[17:01] ---
    Sounds like fun.\n
[17:03] ---
    Taga!\n
[17:04] ---
    Nice timing, Kanade. I just saw this\nginormous ladybug outside my window.\n
[17:09] ---
    For real?!\n
[17:10] ---
    Yep. With ten spots, too.\n
[17:13] ---
    A ten-spot ladybug? Whoa!\n
[17:16] ---
    I'm gonna catch it for sure!\n
[17:19] ---
    Ten-spot! Ten-spot! Ten-spot!\n
[17:22] ---
    He's a kid, all right.\n
[17:24] ---
    H-He sure is.\n
[17:27] ---
    The way his eyes twinkled\nover a single ladybug...\n
[17:31] ---
    So cute!\n
[17:39] ---
    Shall we?\n
[17:41] ---
    Um, yeah.\n
[17:52] ---
    No one's here yet.\n
[17:59] ---
    Er...\n
[18:01] ---
    Oh! How much are we chipping in for the party?\n
[18:04] ---
    I, um, left my wallet in my room,\nso I'll just head back for a sec.\n
[18:12] ---
    Taga?\n
[18:13] ---
    Are you stupid or what?\n
[18:15] ---
    Huh?\n
[18:16] ---
    Waltzing right into the room\nof some man you hardly know...\n
[18:20] ---
    B-But the welcome party...\n
[18:23] ---
    There is no welcome party. Nada.
[18:27] ---
    You're a sheltered princess who's\nnever known hardship. You make me sick.\n
[18:32] ---
    Falling for Kanade shows\njust how stupid you are.\n
[18:35] ---
    It's a huge giveaway when you get all nervous\nand flushed, yet you're strangely assertive--\n
[18:40] ---
    --Sorry--it fell through.\n--and boy, that grinds my gears.\n
[18:43] ---
    Mom says I can't come to your birthday party,\n
[18:46] ---
    so forget about that promise I made.\n
[18:49] ---
    She said our families belong\nto different social classes,\n
[18:52] ---
    so I shouldn't play with you.\n
[18:56] ---
    Who'd welcome you?
[19:17] ---
    Kanade?!\n
[19:19] ---
    That ladybug wasn't so big after all.\n
[19:22] ---
    And it only has seven spots, not ten!\n
[19:25] ---
    Ah. My bad.\n
[19:32] ---
    And with this forehead-flick, you are forgiven.\n
[19:36] ---
    Then why'd you hit me?\n
[19:38] ---
    You made her cry.\n
[19:40] ---
    She's my girlfriend, and you made her cry.\n
[19:45] ---
    You shouldn't make your girlfriend cry.\nYou have to protect her.\n
[19:53] ---
    Kanade, did your mom tell you that, too?\n
[19:59] ---
    Uh-huh!\n
[20:02] ---
    What do I do now?\n
[20:04] ---
    Looks like my monster really is way too cool...\n
[21:40] ---
    "On Duty: Kota Shinohara"\n
[21:41] ---
    Um...\n
[21:42] ---
    "Afterclass Homeroom"\n
[21:43] ---
    "Afterclass Homeroom"\nI-I'm on duty today--Kota Shinohara--so, uh...\n
[21:47] ---
    Ooh, ooh! Question!\n
[21:49] ---
    Y-Yes, Kanade?\n
[21:51] ---
    What's a virgin?\n
[21:53] ---
    --Huh?!\n--You're a virgin, right? What's that mean?\n
[21:56] ---
    We wanna know, too!\n
[21:58] ---
    What's a virgin?!\n
[22:00] ---
    Wh-What's with the\npublic execution all of a sudden?\n
[22:04] ---
    I'll tell you.
[22:07] ---
    This virginity Kota has is something fantastic.\n
[22:10] ---
    Huh?\n
[22:12] ---
    If he keeps it safe, he could become a mage.\n
[22:15] ---
    A mage?!\n
[22:16] ---
    Yes, and having had\nno attempts on his virginity thus far,\n
[22:19] ---
    Kota here is a pure virgin-- the king of virgins, if you will.
[22:22] ---
    --Wow! Awesome!\n--Not really!\n
[22:25] ---
    It's not awesome at all!\nI'd throw it away if I could!\n
[22:28] ---
    Throw it away?!
[22:29] ---
    If you're just going to\nthrow it away, give it to me!\n
[22:31] ---
    I'm not doing that!\n
[22:34] ---
    No fair! Kota's virginity is mine!\n
[22:36] ---
    It's not yours, either, Kanade!\n
[22:38] ---
    Then it's mine?\n
[22:40] ---
    No, Tom!
[22:42] ---
    Wait--what is all this, anyway?!
[22:44] ---
    I'm unclear: is virginity\nworth getting so worked up over?\n
[22:49] ---
    Oh! Do you want to be a virgin, too, Kaz?\n
[22:53] ---
    Okay, we can all become virgins together!\n
[22:55] ---
    Virgins!\n
[22:57] ---
    Don't worry.\n
[22:59] ---
    You are all virgins.
[23:00] ---
    Oho! Really? Yesss!\n
[23:06] ---
    And in fact, if I could use\nthis moment to come out myself...\n
[23:10] ---
    I'm a virgin, too.\n
[23:12] ---
    What?! But you have a girlfriend!\n
[23:15] ---
    Chiaki's the one I love, but I only desire girl-boys!
[23:21] ---
    "Girl-Boys"\n
[23:21] ---
    Awesome!\n
[23:25] ---
    Renren here!\n
[23:27] ---
    Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:29] ---
    "Kaho's at the mercy of Kanade,\ncool beyond his primary-school years,"\n
[23:31] ---
    "and the other residents of Kasumi House.\nBut when Kanade asks her to do what a couple does,"\n
[23:32] ---
    "her emotional tension is cranked up to 11!" All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:35] ---
    "It's My First"!\n
[23:36] ---**
    And now for a match! Renren, chon!\n