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3 - It's My First

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Looks great!\n
[00:04] ---
    Since I've gotten used\nto meals here at Kasumi House,\n
[00:08] ---
    I've come to realize my family's\nbreakfasts of snow crab five ways\n
[00:12] ---
    were not the norm.
[00:14] ---
    I prefer this in the morning.\nWell, except for one thing...\n
[00:23] ---
    These are the thousands--no,\ndozens of thousands of organisms\n
[00:27] ---
    packed inside a female cod's belly.\n
[00:30] ---
    Scientifically speaking,\na mass of cell nuclei...\n
[00:34] ---
    Well? When you think about it\nlike that, doesn't it squick you out?\n
[00:38] ---
    Just me, then? All righty.\n
[00:41] ---
    There's enough for seconds.\n
[00:45] ---
    But it's all right.\n
[00:47] ---
    I just need to brace myself\nand gulp it down in one fell swoop!\n
[00:58] ---
    That's one down!\n
[01:00] ---
    And I managed to avoid turning into a merlion.\n
[01:04] ---
    Now for this last one...\n
[01:09] ---
    Kota, Arashi--gimme your seaweed!\n
[01:12] ---
    Oh, sorry.\n
[01:13] ---
    Yeah, same here.\n
[01:15] ---
    Geez! You ate it already?\n
[01:19] ---
    Kaho...\n
[01:21] ---
    Gimme your seaweed!\n
[01:23] ---
    Kanade! I told you:\none packet of seaweed per person!\n
[01:26] ---
    Aw, but there's only six pieces in there!\n
[01:30] ---
    It's okay. Here.\n
[01:33] ---
    Thank you! Oh, and...\n
[01:38] ---
    Thanks for the grub!\n
[01:40] ---
    Could Kanade have eaten\nthat knowing I don't like cod roe...?\n
[02:07] ---
    "FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[03:19] ---
    "It's My First"\n
[03:28] ---
    Who'd welcome you?
[03:34] ---
    Ignoring me?\n
[03:37] ---
    If you hate me so much, shouldn't you ignore me?
[03:43] ---
    Just pointing out your rudeness.\n
[03:45] ---
    If you're not ignoring her,\nthat must mean she interests you. Right?\n
[03:52] ---
    Stay out of this!\n
[03:54] ---
    Did you know? Interest, in that you\ncan't let someone be, is like affection.\n
[03:59] ---
    It's famously said that the\nopposite of "love" isn't "hate"--\n
[04:02] ---
    no, the opposite of "love" is "indifference."\n
[04:05] ---
    Um... what are you getting at, Chiaki?\n
[04:08] ---
    You want to be ignored,\nbut Taga can't ignore you.\n
[04:12] ---
    Clearly this is unrequited love on Taga's part.\n
[04:15] ---
    Please stop!\n
[04:17] ---
    You say that kind of silly stuff,\nand Taga is bound to...\n
[04:20] ---
    Bound to... what?\n
[04:24] ---
    Shinohara, Taga--you sure are popular, Kaho.\n
[04:29] ---
    Why is Shinohara's name coming up?\n
[04:32] ---
    And besides...\n
[04:33] ---
    There's no way Taga likes me!\n
[04:37] ---
    There might be.\n
[04:39] ---
    I found it strange myself.\n
[04:41] ---
    How is it I could care for\na clumsy, dim-witted numbskull...\n
[04:46] ---
    Yeah, right, you moron!\n
[04:49] ---
    If I'm interested in anyone,\nit's Kanade, not you, stupid.\n
[04:56] ---
    What's that supposed to mean?\n
[04:59] ---
    That he prefers Kanade over you, no?\n
[05:02] ---
    C'mon, Shinohara--come out\nof hiding and let's hit it!\n
[05:05] ---
    Huh?\n
[05:08] ---
    Shinohara?\n
[05:10] ---
    Honestly.\n
[05:11] ---
    Good morning, Miss Nikaido!\n
[05:16] ---
    Kaho!\n
[05:17] ---
    Kanade!\n
[05:18] ---
    Kaho, today's the day\nwe get our mission underway!\n
[05:23] ---
    Let's do something boyfriend-girlfriendy!\n
[05:26] ---
    Huh?\n
[05:28] ---
    Let's have a date!\n
[05:37] ---
    Of course...\n
[05:40] ---
    Hurry up!\n
[05:42] ---
    I freeze up when I see Kanade, but I guess\n
[05:45] ---
    this is normal for primary-school kids.\n
[05:48] ---
    Somehow I'm afraid to see\nKanade when he's at school.\n
[05:53] ---
    "Bamboo Primary School"\n
[05:54] ---
    It's not every day you see a\nhigh-schooler waiting for her date\n
[05:57] ---
    with a primary-schooler.\n
[05:59] ---
    Maybe I should just go home.\n
[06:03] ---
    But... it is a date.
[06:05] ---
    If I don't show up at our meeting spot,\nKanade's bound to worry.\n
[06:11] ---
    Kaho!\n
[06:12] ---
    Kanade?!\n
[06:19] ---
    Sorry I kept you.\n
[06:20] ---
    N-Not at all!\n
[06:22] ---
    Lately us boys have been\nall about the climbing poles!\n
[06:26] ---
    I-I got that.\n
[06:33] ---
    Yoo-hoo! C'mon, Kaho--you climb up, too!\n
[06:37] ---
    But I'm wearing a skirt.\n
[06:39] ---
    You can see Mt. Fuji from here!\n
[06:41] ---
    Uh, I-I'll pass...\n
[06:44] ---
    Oh. Then...\n
[06:49] ---
    Let's get this date started!\n
[06:52] ---
    By "date," you mean...\n
[06:56] ---
    Well...\n
[06:57] ---
    Y-Yes?\n
[06:59] ---
    Anything you'd like to do on a date with me?
[07:01] ---
    Huh?\n
[07:02] ---
    What do a boy and girl do when they meet one on one?
[07:06] ---
    What do they...\n
[07:09] ---
    This is my first date--I haven't the foggiest!\n
[07:13] ---
    P-Probably a date is like...\ngoing someplace fun together?\n
[07:19] ---
    Someplace fun, huh?\n
[07:20] ---
    I know! C'mon!\n
[07:24] ---
    I'm gonna show you the funnest time ever today!\n
[07:28] ---
    Kanade!\n
[07:32] ---
    No one's ever put it quite that way before.\n
[07:35] ---
    I can't help but get excited somehow...\n
[07:48] ---
    What do you think, Kaho?\n
[07:56] ---
    A present--from me.\n
[08:02] ---
    Only the finest date for you, Kaho!\n
[08:08] ---
    What a ridiculously unrealistic fantasy!\n
[08:13] ---
    Kanade's hardly the type to dress\nlike a prince and play the harp.\n
[08:18] ---
    He's a recorder-tooting primary-school kid!\n
[08:23] ---
    Um, Kanade, where are we going?\n
[08:26] ---
    The park!\n
[08:32] ---
    What do you think, Kaho?\n
[08:40] ---
    Only the finest date for you, Kaho!\n
[08:48] ---
    There I go again!\n
[08:49] ---
    I know it's my first date,\nbut my fantasies are out of control.\n
[08:53] ---
    I've got to face reality.\n
[08:54] ---
    Hey, Kaho! Over here!\n
[08:57] ---
    Oh, okay!\n
[08:59] ---
    Let's do this together!\n
[09:02] ---
    And this... this is my reality.
[09:07] ---
    Bring me a bucket of water.\n
[09:09] ---
    The spigot's over there.\n
[09:11] ---
    Oh, okay.\n
[09:16] ---
    Five more, please!\n
[09:18] ---
    Got it.\n
[09:25] ---
    Next we'll start building up our mountain.\n
[09:28] ---
    Okay.\n
[09:29] ---
    Pick the pebbles out of the sand\nso it won't collapse so easy.\n
[09:33] ---
    Uh-huh.\n
[09:34] ---
    And once the sand is piled up,\ngive the surface a good smack\n
[09:37] ---
    to harden it.\n
[09:39] ---
    Wherever it looks weak,\nuse that sticky sand to reinforce it.\n
[09:43] ---
    Okay.\n
[09:46] ---
    So there's this new café by the station.\n
[09:48] ---
    Oh, really? I'd like to check it out.\n
[09:51] ---
    Then let's go!\n
[09:51] ---
    Really?\n
[09:53] ---
    What am I even doing?\n
[09:57] ---
    Hey, you're good at this, Kaho!\n
[09:58] ---
    Huh?\n
[10:00] ---
    Thanks to you, today's mountain\nis super well-balanced!\n
[10:04] ---
    I've made tons of these before,\nbut never as awesome as this!\n
[10:10] ---
    Kanade, you've got sand on your face.\n
[10:13] ---
    Huh? Get it off, wouldja?\n
[10:15] ---
    Hang on.\n
[10:16] ---
    Ow, Kaho--that hurts!\n
[10:19] ---
    It's really stuck on there.\n
[10:21] ---
    Okay, all set.\n
[10:25] ---
    Thank you!\n
[10:26] ---
    Okay, that's enough mountain-building.\nNow we dig a tunnel.\n
[10:31] ---
    A tunnel?\n
[10:32] ---
    A tunnel won't make a nice sturdy\nmountain like this fall apart.\n
[10:36] ---
    I'll go from this side.\nKaho, you dig from over there.\n
[10:40] ---
    Okay!\n
[10:45] ---
    This is one sturdy mountain, all right.\n
[10:48] ---
    Need some real elbow grease\nto dig to the middle.\n
[10:50] ---
    Y-Yeah.\n
[11:05] ---
    Don't make the tunnel mouth too wide, Kaho.\n
[11:08] ---
    Oh, okay.\n
[11:10] ---
    Kaho, try jamming your\nhand further into the center.\n
[11:13] ---
    All right.\n
[11:20] ---
    We're connected!\n
[11:21] ---
    Uh-huh...\n
[11:26] ---
    Look at you two lovebirds.\n
[11:29] ---
    We are on a date!
[11:30] ---
    A date, eh?\n
[11:32] ---
    Hey, it's Arashi!\n
[11:36] ---
    Um, well, more like a "date"... er...\n
[11:41] ---
    And what a nice date it is, compared to us two.\n
[11:45] ---
    That's the way, Li'l Renren!\n
[11:48] ---
    Fantastic! Good job!\n
[11:50] ---
    Isn't this a better pose?\n
[11:52] ---
    Yikes, Kanade! Get your sandy mitts off that!\n
[11:55] ---
    That's my ultra-super-rare limited-first-edition\n
[11:58] ---
    "Poseable Cat-Ear Li'l Renren, Bashful Version"!\n
[12:02] ---
    This one, then! I see London, I see France--\n
[12:05] ---
    Hey! No peeking under that skirt!\n
[12:08] ---
    These figurine photo shoots are a regular thing.\n
[12:12] ---
    I see.\n
[12:14] ---
    Is this park not good enough for your dates?\n
[12:18] ---
    Um... Doesn't it bother you, Chiaki?\n
[12:22] ---
    Doesn't what?\n
[12:23] ---
    Uh, well, it's just...\n
[12:26] ---
    Oh, you mean Arashi being\na disappointment as a boyfriend?\n
[12:29] ---
    No, I--\n
[12:31] ---
    But he looks good, doesn't he?
[12:33] ---
    Huh? Well... yes.\n
[12:36] ---
    That's what counts!\n
[12:38] ---
    Um...\n
[12:39] ---
    Kanade's got good looks, too.\n
[12:41] ---
    Uh, well, that's... that's true.\n
[12:46] ---
    Then you're good.\n
[12:48] ---
    You seem to be worried about\nKanade being in primary school,\n
[12:51] ---
    but I see no problem here at all.\n
[12:54] ---
    I guess you're right. I do have fun with him...
[12:59] ---
    ...though this is a far cry from a lovers' date.\n
[13:03] ---
    The kind of date doesn't matter.\n
[13:05] ---
    There are as many dates as there are couples.\n
[13:08] ---
    Chiaki...\n
[13:09] ---
    Besides... Arashi is stupid nice.\n
[13:13] ---
    Huh?\n
[13:16] ---
    Nothing.\n
[13:18] ---
    Chiaki, Kanade's nice, too.\n
[13:22] ---
    --Eye lasers! Whoa!\n--You'll pull his eyes out!\n
[13:24] ---
    --And a butt bazooka! Ha ha!\n--You'll take his butt off!\n
[13:26] ---
    Hey, Kanade, aren't you on a date?\nDon't leave your girl hanging!\n
[13:32] ---
    Oh, right!\n
[13:35] ---
    Okay, Kaho, mission complete!\nOn to the next one!\n
[13:39] ---
    The... next?\n
[13:45] ---
    Here we are!\n
[13:46] ---
    "Kobayashi's"\n
[13:47] ---
    "Kobayashi's"\nIiit's... Kobayashi's!\n
[13:49] ---
    A penny-candy store?\n
[13:53] ---
    Hey, it's Kanade!\n
[13:54] ---
    Oh, you guys're here, too?\n
[13:57] ---
    Wait, didn't you say your date was today?\n
[14:01] ---
    We're smack in the middle of a mission.\n
[14:03] ---
    I brought Kaho to one of my favorite\nstores so she could get to know me.\n
[14:07] ---
    I get it. So you came to pay\nrespects to the counter hag.\n
[14:12] ---
    Counter rag? At a penny-candy store?\n
[14:16] ---
    Their counter hag is real famous.\n
[14:19] ---
    Who you callin' a hag, you nincompoops?!\n
[14:22] ---
    You keep spittin' on my candy without buyin' any,\n
[14:23] ---
    "Counter Hag"\nYou keep spittin' on my candy without buyin' any,\n
[14:24] ---
    "Counter Hag"\nyou can get right outta here!\n
[14:26] ---
    There it is: the counter hag's\n"Get Outta Here" attack!\n
[14:30] ---
    Hello, ma'am.\n
[14:31] ---
    Oh, my, Kaz--you came, too?\n
[14:34] ---
    Here, dearie, have a sucker.\n
[14:36] ---
    --Thank you very much.\n--She's always playing favorites.\n
[14:37] ---
    That's Kaz: our sixtysomething old-lady killer!\n
[14:41] ---
    "Apricot Bars, Triple-Vinegar Squid Bites,\nMr. Plum, Kibi Dumplings"\n
[14:42] ---
    Oh, wow, these take me back!\n
[14:44] ---
    Kanade!\n
[14:46] ---
    Are you okay?\n
[14:49] ---
    Tom, you chicken--not in the face!\n
[14:52] ---
    Prepare yourself--\n
[14:54] ---
    Hey, now! Take that ball and play outside!\n
[14:57] ---
    Count me in, too!\n
[14:58] ---
    Okay, let's play three-lives outside!\n
[15:01] ---
    Whaaat?!\n
[15:02] ---
    Kanade's going off to play\nwith Tom and the others? No way!\n
[15:09] ---
    I'll take that!\n
[15:12] ---
    Yes way...
[15:16] ---
    "What Is 'Three-Lives'?"\n
[15:16] ---
    "What Is 'Three-Lives'?"\nSimilar to the individual match that is dodgeball,\n
[15:21] ---
    in "three-lives" a player is hit\nthree times before he or she is out.\n
[15:24] ---
    Its simple rule and casual\nstyle--no need for a court--\n
[15:28] ---
    have won it more than 400 million players.\n
[15:31] ---
    Now attracting attention\nfor outstripping kabaddi,\n
[15:33] ---
    it's on track to feature at the 2020 Tokyo--\n
[15:36] ---
    Geez, Gin! You were aiming\nfor my balls, weren't you?!\n
[15:40] ---
    Ball-oney! Don't get Testy!
[15:43] ---
    Why, you...! An eye for an eye!\nA ball for a ball!\n
[15:46] ---
    Try my demonball on for size:\n
[15:49] ---
    Thunder Vacuum Nyaho\nNyaho-Tamakloe Do You Remember Me!\n
[15:52] ---
    Hey! Blatantly aiming for\nthe balls is an illegal move!\n
[15:57] ---
    Il-le-gal!\n
[16:02] ---
    Aren't you on a date?\nDon't leave your girl hanging!\n
[16:07] ---
    Oh, man--I was in the middle of a date!\n
[16:09] ---
    I'm out!\n
[16:11] ---
    What? But it was just getting good!\n
[16:13] ---
    I was this close to abandoning our mission!
[16:16] ---
    A date's a date till we get back home!\n
[16:18] ---
    C'mon, just a little longer!\n
[16:20] ---
    Tom! Take a hint.\nThe second half of any date is key.\n
[16:24] ---
    We've got to let the two of them be\nalone--tenderly.\n
[16:27] ---
    Tenderly?\n
[16:30] ---
    Get out of my way.\n
[16:32] ---
    Huh?\n
[16:33] ---
    I said, "Will you please move?"\n
[16:35] ---
    If you're in high school,\nsurely you're learning English.\n
[16:46] ---
    What's up? Gotta poop?\n
[16:48] ---
    Huh?\n
[16:49] ---
    You're so quiet and with such\na serious face--so I figured: poop!\n
[16:52] ---
    N-No, I don't!\n
[16:53] ---
    Don't hold it in.\nPoop is nothing to be ashamed of.\n
[16:56] ---
    Look, it's not that!\n
[16:58] ---
    Then what?\n
[17:00] ---
    Uh, well...\n
[17:05] ---
    See, Kaz and Taga are both\nagainst us dating, right? So...\n
[17:11] ---
    Oh, is that what you're worried about?
[17:14] ---
    Having obstacles--within reason--\nonly fans the flames of love.\n
[17:19] ---
    That's a pretty grown-up thing to say.\n
[17:22] ---
    Did your mom tell you that, too?\n
[17:24] ---
    Huh? I came up with all that myself.\n
[17:29] ---
    Oh, did you?\n
[17:31] ---
    'Course I did! Same as for nearly everything.\n
[17:35] ---
    I came up with dodgeball and the newest Yummy Stick flavor!
[17:40] ---
    There always were plenty\nof kids who said stuff like that.\n
[17:43] ---
    Here, Kaho, eat this.\n
[17:46] ---
    Mission three: A couple happily\neats the same thing together!\n
[17:51] ---
    Um...\n
[17:52] ---
    How do I eat this?\n
[17:54] ---
    Haven't you ever had cake-on-a-stick?\n
[17:56] ---
    Real fans have crazy ways of eating them,\n
[17:58] ---
    but normally you just chomp 'em from the top!\n
[18:01] ---
    No, I mean...\n
[18:04] ---
    Don't tell me, Kaho--\n
[18:06] ---
    you've never walked around while eating?\n
[18:08] ---
    N-No. If I concentrate\non holding this, I can't walk,\n
[18:12] ---
    and if I focus on walking, my mouth won't open.\n
[18:16] ---
    Here. Say "ah"!\n
[18:17] ---
    Huh?\n
[18:22] ---
    So sweet and delicious!\n
[18:24] ---
    Yep!\n
[18:29] ---
    We made it!\n
[18:30] ---
    Uh-huh! Thank you for one spectacular date.\n
[18:34] ---
    Not so fast, Kaho.\n
[18:35] ---
    Huh?\n
[18:37] ---
    The date's not over yet.\nThis is our final mission.\n
[18:41] ---
    Our final mission?\n
[18:44] ---
    The goodbye kiss.\n
[18:50] ---
    The goodbye kiss...\n
[18:56] ---
    Not like that.\n
[18:59] ---
    Couples kiss...\n
[19:02] ---
    ...here.
[19:24] ---
    Kanade... that...\nthat was... my first... kiss...\n
[19:38] ---
    W-Were you watching?\n
[19:41] ---
    Uh, no, I wasn't!\n
[19:42] ---
    Well, er, I wasn't not watching, but... I wasn't spying!
[19:45] ---
    I mean, I accidentally saw it.\nIt slipped into my vision!\n
[19:53] ---
    I saw that, I saw that!\n
[19:55] ---
    I saw you see that!\n
[19:58] ---
    It's a shock for the girl\nyou like to be going on a date,\n
[20:02] ---
    but to happen to catch her kissing?
[20:05] ---
    Cut it out, Chiaki.\n
[20:07] ---
    And what's worse, she was\nkissing a primary-school kid\n
[20:11] ---
    who's way cooler and way younger than you!
[20:14] ---
    Can't bounce back from that!
[20:16] ---
    Yes, it's true. I do like Miss Nikaido,\n
[20:20] ---
    and I was spying out of curiosity!\n
[20:22] ---
    That kiss with Kanade really was a shock...\n
[20:25] ---
    But that doesn't mean\nit's any kind of fun to mock\n
[20:28] ---
    a person's feelings for someone!\n
[20:30] ---
    Oh, it's fun, all right!\n
[20:31] ---
    This kind of intel is just my cup of tea.\n
[20:40] ---
    Hmph!\n
[20:44] ---
    Why don't you just come clean\nand tell Kaho how you feel?\n
[20:48] ---
    C'mon, Chiaki hates it when\npeople can't make up their minds.\n
[22:28] ---
    "English"\n
[22:29] ---
    Today we'll be having\nan English lesson for a change.\n
[22:33] ---
    --Aw, studying? I hate studying!\n--Now, we may be in primary school,\n
[22:36] ---
    --Aw, studying? I hate studying!\n--but English will be compulsory from here on out.\n
[22:38] ---
    We'll start with a simple greeting:\n
[22:41] ---
    Hi! Nice to meet you. My name is Kaz.\n
[22:45] ---
    Okay, now you try: "Hi!\nNice to meet you. My name is Kaz."\n
[22:51] ---
    Hi! Icy meat stew. I'm lame, this Kaz!\n
[22:55] ---
    I am not lame! And what's this "icy meat stew"?
[22:58] ---
    Hi! Mice to neat you. Om nom--it's Kaz!\n
[23:01] ---
    I'm not eating.\n
[23:02] ---
    Hi! Nice to eat you. Om nom nom Kaz!\n
[23:04] ---
    I said, I'm not eating!
[23:07] ---
    Hearing ability: zero.\nIt's the miso-paste penalty for you all.\n
[23:14] ---
    You know these visuals are totally not okay!
[23:18] ---
    --Poop! Poop!\n--Till next week! See you!\n
[23:21] ---
    See you!\n
[23:25] ---
    Renren here!\n
[23:27] ---
    Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:29] ---
    "Kaho's heart is still pounding\nafter her first kiss with Kanade."\n
[23:31] ---
    "But when Kanade's tutor arrives...\nAnother storm's a-brewing!"\n
[23:32] ---
    All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:34] ---
    "Sought-After Undies"!\n
[23:36] ---
    And now for a match! Renren, chon!\n