10 - A Proper Rom-Com For Once
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] ---
C'mon, whaddya say, Crabita?\n
[00:03] ---
Stop it, Echizen Pete!\n
[00:06] ---
Argh! You're letting Crabbonio\nget inside your shell, aintcha?\n
[00:12] ---
What's inside my shell belongs to me!\n
[00:15] ---
Even if it is stuffed full of gunk.
[00:18] ---
Crabita? Crabitaaa!\n
[00:23] ---
"Mizuhama Fishery" "Echizen Crab"\nCrabita, that gunk is basically like poop, right?\n
[00:27] ---
"Mizuhama Fishery" "Echizen Crab"\nYou're so tactless, Echizen Pete!\n
[00:31] ---
We're leaving, Kanade.\n
[00:33] ---
Atsushi!\n
[00:34] ---
See? I bought you a crab.\n
[00:37] ---
Yay! Crabita! Come home with me!\n
[00:40] ---
Good for you, Kanade! Crabbity!\n
[01:02] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[02:13] ---
"A Proper Rom-Com For Once"\n
[02:20] ---
Atsushi, thanks for Crabita!\n
[02:22] ---
Sheesh. Echizen crabs are pricey.\nI'll be billing your dad later.\n
[02:28] ---
Are you mad, Takeshi?\nIs it 'cause I made you buy Crabita?\n
[02:33] ---
No, I'm not mad.\n
[02:36] ---
Just thinking... that maybe\nI shouldn't have come.\n
[02:42] ---
But I couldn't have gone\nto Kaho's house without you.\n
[02:46] ---
Why would you say that?\n
[02:48] ---
I wonder. I don't know, either.\n
[02:51] ---
You're a grown-up, and you\ndon't even understand yourself?\n
[02:55] ---
Yep.\n
[02:56] ---
Kaho, something's weird with Atsushi!\n
[02:59] ---
Huh? Oh, uh, really?\n
[03:01] ---
Kanade, your time is your life.\n
[03:04] ---
Giving stupid women your\ntime is a waste of your life.\n
[03:07] ---
Oho! Treasure your life!\n
[03:10] ---
Exactly right!\n
[03:13] ---
Those're his standard specs, all right.\n
[03:16] ---
Kanade?\n
[03:19] ---
Well, why not? He *did *come all the way to Kanazawa,
[03:23] ---
and so much happened there.\n
[03:26] ---
Boy, did it ever...\n
[03:33] ---
Let's get married!\n
[03:35] ---
M-Married?\n
[03:37] ---
I'll marry you!\n
[03:41] ---
No?\n
[03:45] ---
--N-No, it's not that--\n--Unfortunately, Kanade,\n
[03:48] ---
men have to be 18 and\nwomen 16 before they can marry.\n
[03:52] ---
Huh?! What's that about?
[03:53] ---
It's the law.\n
[03:55] ---
Ah. Then I guess that's that.\n
[03:57] ---
That was surprisingly fast!\n
[03:59] ---
Life is long. No one picks\na husband or wife in fifth grade.\n
[04:04] ---
You ought to be able to find someone better.\n
[04:08] ---
Someone better? Hmm...\n
[04:11] ---
Wait, what? Is Kanade starting\nto have second thoughts?!\n
[04:17] ---
I don't know what a\nbetter woman would be like...\n
[04:22] ---
...but I'll take Kaho.\n
[04:33] ---
Kaho, if we can't get married, let's promise to get married.
[04:37] ---
Kanade...\n
[04:39] ---
Are you actually taking this seriously,\nBreadcrumb Girl?\n
[04:43] ---
Someday, when you end up an old spinster hag,\n
[04:46] ---
will you hunt him down, all "But you promised"?\n
[04:51] ---
I'm not really serious about this!\n
[04:53] ---
Why not?! You should be! I am!
[04:56] ---
But...\n
[04:58] ---
Then... let's pinky-swear, Kaho.\n
[05:02] ---
We hereby pinky-swear...\nthat me and Kaho will get married.\n
[05:09] ---
If you lie, you'll swallow a thousand needles\n
[05:12] ---
and cut your pinky off!\n
[05:14] ---
It's a deal!\n
[05:17] ---
Uh-huh!\n
[05:24] ---
Kaho... a primary-schooler... in shorts...
[05:28] ---
D-Daikoku?\n
[05:30] ---
Shock is the usual reaction when your sister is dating a primary-schooler
[05:34] ---
and promises to marry him.\n
[05:36] ---
If it were me, I'd want to die. In fact, I would die.
[05:45] ---
Let's go home, Kaho.\n
[05:49] ---
Yeah!\n
[05:54] ---
See ya, Kaho's brother!\nNext time I'll teach you hide-and-seek!\n
[05:58] ---
K-Kanade, c'mon...\n
[06:00] ---
Let's go, already!\n
[06:04] ---
Kanade...\n
[06:07] ---
I-is he going to wake up anytime soon? If not...\n
[06:11] ---
My stomach can't take the\nstrain of being alone with Taga!\n
[06:15] ---
Oh, right.\n
[06:17] ---
Your brother backed off awfully quickly.\n
[06:21] ---
Eh? I... don't think he... backed off, quite...\n
[06:27] ---
I see.\n
[06:29] ---
Could he have been worried about me?\n
[06:32] ---
No, not Taga, of all people.\n
[06:36] ---
But...\n
[06:36] ---
"Echizen Crab"\n
[06:38] ---
--Psssssh...\n--Hey, Kanade--we're here.\n
[06:44] ---
Thanks for the ride, Atsushi.\n
[06:48] ---
Um, Taga?\n
[06:50] ---
Well, uh... thanks for everything.\n
[06:54] ---
So even a breadcrumb can say "thank you."\n
[06:58] ---
Taga... something is weird with him.
[07:01] ---
Kanade!\n
[07:03] ---
Bro! I'm home like Thunderdome!\n
[07:06] ---
I thought you went back to Osaka!\n
[07:09] ---
I may be the Naniwa Speed Coaster an' all,\n
[07:11] ---
but ridin' a flat bike all the way to Osaka?\n
[07:13] ---
Yeah, it ain't happenin'.\n
[07:15] ---
Oh, all right! Gotcha, pal!\n
[07:17] ---
Gotcha pal, potcha gal,\ngotcha pal, potcha gal...\n
[07:19] ---
--Gotcha potcha pal!\n--Ah, back to Kasumi House!\n
[07:25] ---
Not to pee on your picnic,\nbut carry this crab yourself, Kanade.\n
[07:34] ---
Eek!\n
[07:38] ---
C-Crabita!\n
[07:40] ---
Crabita! It's just a scratch!\n
[07:43] ---
--Crabita! Stay with me, Crabita!\n--Have we witnessed crab murder\n
[07:44] ---
--Crabita! Stay with me, Crabita!\n--at the hand of a garbage girl?\n
[07:47] ---
--Crabita! Don't die!\n--Taga's just Taga after all.\n
[07:48] ---
--Is that dinner? Wow, decadent!\n--Taga's just Taga after all.\n
[07:51] ---
No! Crabita's my friend!\n
[07:56] ---
I'm sorry, Kanade.\n
[07:58] ---
Kaho...\n
[07:59] ---
I didn't mean for such a\nterrible thing to happen to Crabita.\n
[08:04] ---
You, too, Crabita--I'm sorry.\n
[08:06] ---
It's... okay... peace...!\n
[08:10] ---
Crabita! Thank goodness!\n
[08:13] ---
Yeah, thank goodness!\n
[08:14] ---
Yow! Hot hot hot!\n
[08:17] ---
I'm gettin' scorched over here.\n
[08:20] ---
Yeah, our love's been tested, and now\nits flames burn at 10 billion degrees!\n
[08:26] ---
Yeah, but... y'all might\nbe separated soon enough.\n
[08:31] ---
What do you mean, Bro?\n
[08:33] ---
Truth is, Kanade...\n
[08:35] ---
...your pops is puttin' on a\nweddin' right this very moment!\n
[08:41] ---
And from what I heard...\n
[08:45] ---
I'm his mother,\neven if we're not related by blood.\n
[08:48] ---
I'll be choosing Kanade's bride.
[08:51] ---
N-No...\n
[08:53] ---
I can't let that happen!\n
[08:57] ---
Kanade... No, of course.\n
[08:59] ---
We've just made up--to be torn apart now--\n
[09:03] ---
You're married to Mom--I can't\nlet you do this, Dad!\n
[09:06] ---
Oh, so that's what he's mad about.
[09:09] ---
"Congratulations"\n"Takahashi"\n
[09:11] ---
Yodel-odel-odel-odel yodel-ay-hee-hi-ho!\n
[09:16] ---
Ahem!\n
[09:17] ---
D-Do you pledge to love him with all your heart,\n
[09:21] ---
in sickness and in health,\nas long as you both shall live?\n
[09:26] ---
I do.\n
[09:30] ---
If there be anyone present\nwith any objections to--\n
[09:33] ---
I object!\n
[09:38] ---
How could you betray Mom, Dad?!\n
[09:42] ---
How could you betray Mom, Dad?!\n
[09:44] ---
Kanade!\n
[09:46] ---
I'm sorry, Kanade.\n
[09:49] ---
Your dad went and fell\nin love with this woman here.\n
[09:52] ---
You can call me "Mama," Kanade.\n
[09:56] ---
I only have one mom, now and forever!
[10:00] ---
And a sumo wrestler like you...\n
[10:02] ---
I'm never gonna call you "Mom"!
[10:04] ---
Sumo wrestler? So that's Mafuyu in there?\n
[10:09] ---
What did you just say, Kaho Nikaido?
[10:12] ---
Someone's about to dance with hard luck, all right!
[10:17] ---
A bride who won't obey her\nmother-in-law? I'll separate you myself.\n
[10:21] ---
'Kay?\n
[10:25] ---
This here is what they call a "stepmom."\n
[10:27] ---
A step toward being a mom? Is she transforming?\n
[10:29] ---
A trans woman? Tell me more.\n
[10:32] ---
Dad, why would you... and Mafuyu...!\n
[10:35] ---
Say something, Dad!\n
[10:37] ---
He wanted me not only\nto teach you as your tutor,\n
[10:40] ---
but to protect the house, too.\n
[10:42] ---
As your mom, I'll make *sure *you're safe from the evil hands
[10:46] ---
of indecent high-school girls!\n
[10:48] ---
--Indecent?! No! I'm no such thing! --"Indecent high-school girl," eh?
[10:54] ---
If this garbage girl came out under that title,\n
[10:56] ---
would that be false advertising, Kota?\n
[10:58] ---
Wh-Wh-Wh-Why are you asking me?
[11:01] ---
You've got tons of dirty\nDVDs in your room, right?\n
[11:04] ---
I don't, I don't, I don't!\n
[11:06] ---
You're the worst!\n
[11:07] ---
Kanade?\n
[11:09] ---
Even if we're apart,\nour hearts are always together--\n
[11:13] ---
mine and yours and Mom's!\n
[11:16] ---
Why, you... you put the "big" in "bigamy"!\n
[11:19] ---
Kanade... take a closer look at your father.\n
[11:23] ---
Huh?!\n
[11:26] ---
Dad! Your eyes!\n
[11:28] ---
Don't tell me an evil organization\ngave you augmentation surgery!\n
[11:31] ---
Mafuyu, put Dad back the way he was!\n
[11:33] ---
Eek! Shugo, Kanade is scaring me!\n
[11:37] ---
It's all right--I'll protect you.\n
[11:40] ---
Hooray!\n
[11:42] ---
Grrr... Lend me your strength, Crabita!\n
[11:46] ---
All right: a blinding attack!\n
[11:48] ---
--Eek! I'm frightened!\n--Huh?\n
[11:51] ---
Gah! My eyes! My eyes!\n
[11:54] ---
Arashi!? Dang it!\nCrabita: now for a slash attack!\n
[11:57] ---
Eek! Stop it!\n
[11:59] ---
Huh?\n
[12:02] ---
--Kota's down to his boxers!\n--'Kay, now turn to the front!\n
[12:06] ---
--Yes, a nice smooth butt.\n--Hey! Quit looking!\n
[12:08] ---
--It's all right, Kota (my eyes!)--\n--Hey! Quit looking!\n
[12:10] ---
I always carry a Renren costume (my eyes!)\n
[12:12] ---
--with me just in case (my eyes!)! --What kind of tragic event is this?
[12:16] ---
I see you haven't changed, Kanade.\n
[12:18] ---
Time to give it up and be my son!\n
[12:22] ---
Rats... If only Crabita could pull\noff a megaton evolution...!\n
[12:26] ---
Come, Shugo. Back to our wedding--\n
[12:30] ---
Crabitaaa!\n
[12:35] ---
You used Arashi as a shield. I'm okay with that.\n
[12:37] ---
Chiaki?\n
[12:39] ---
But what you're doing is wrong.\n
[12:46] ---
Mr. Takahashi! Are you all right?\n
[12:48] ---
Huh? What on earth am I...\n
[12:51] ---
Well, what with one thing and another...\n
[12:53] ---
Really: what happened?\n
[12:56] ---
Ignoring your partner's wishes like\nthis won't bring anything but unhappiness.\n
[13:01] ---
That's not true! He will have feelings for me someday!
[13:05] ---
Sympathy, maybe--but not love.\n
[13:08] ---
It doesn't matter!\n
[13:09] ---
If we're together, Shugo will\ncome to love me soon enough!\n
[13:13] ---
No, I won't.\n
[13:17] ---
I'm sorry.\n
[13:18] ---
I'm not too clear on the situation here,\nbut I won't love anyone but my wife.\n
[13:23] ---
Dad, is that true?\n
[13:25] ---
Yeah.\n
[13:27] ---
Even though she's passed away\nand I can't see her anymore,\n
[13:30] ---
your mom is the only one I love.\n
[13:33] ---
I... I'm glad you two had me!\n
[13:37] ---
"Takahashi Family Nuptials"\n
[13:40] ---
What a nice story.\n
[13:42] ---
It's a sad story.
[13:45] ---
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder,\n
[13:48] ---
but when you absolutely\ncan't be together anymore,\n
[13:51] ---
where does all that overgrown love end up?\n
[13:54] ---
Those two will never see their loved one again.\n
[14:00] ---
Chiaki... don't die...\n
[14:12] ---
I won't.\n
[14:15] ---
Your mom and dad are still connected.\n
[14:20] ---
Kanade?\n
[14:23] ---
And we'll be connected, too, Kaho.\n
[14:28] ---
Uh-huh!\n
[14:34] ---
Too many couples! The air in here...!
[14:37] ---
--Uh, Shinohara's broken.\n--I can't take it!\n
[14:40] ---
--Just a virgin fit. Don't worry about it.\n--I can't take it!\n
[14:43] ---
I was well aware: Love has its obstacles.\n
[14:48] ---
Shugo, you're testing my sincerity, aren't you?\n
[14:51] ---
You are beyond clueless.
[14:55] ---
What the hell did ya just do?\n
[14:58] ---
Ya took off half my makeup!\n
[15:01] ---
Whoa! Her face came off! She's an imposter!\n
[15:03] ---
H-H-Her boobs! Do her boobs come off, too?!\n
[15:06] ---
These babies're real! Ya damn snot-nose brats!
[15:12] ---
Kaho! Are you okay?\n
[15:16] ---
Uh-huh. I'm fine, Kanade.\n
[15:19] ---
You've got cake on your face!\n
[15:25] ---
He just suddenly licks me?\nThat... doesn't happen.\n
[15:30] ---
--The air! It's turning all pink in here! --Whoa! Way to put yer back
[15:32] ---
--The air! It's turning all pink in here! --into yer punches there!
[15:33] ---
--That's what I call a wall-pound!\n--Kaho, you can have the first bath.\n
[15:35] ---
--Hit it! Hit that wall, Kota!\n--Kaho, you can have the first bath.\n
[15:36] ---
--Hit it! Hit that wall, Kota!\n--Um...\n
[15:37] ---
Well, if you say so...\n
[15:40] ---
"The Bath is Occupied"\n
[15:48] ---
Hmm? Can we eat this crab, too?\n
[15:51] ---
No! Crabita is my friend!\n
[15:53] ---
Huh! Wait, she's barely responding.\n
[15:56] ---
What's wrong, Crabita?\nHey, answer me! Smile for me again, Crabita!\n
[16:01] ---
Won't she recover if you put her in water?\n
[16:03] ---
Only if ya got a tank or somethin'\nbig enough for this colossal crab.\n
[16:07] ---
I do.\n
[16:09] ---
I'll go put Crabita in the tub.\n
[16:15] ---
Oh, Kaho.\n
[16:18] ---
You thought it was Kaho? Too bad: it's me!\n
[16:22] ---
And all of Kaho's bathwater is mine!\n
[16:25] ---
Kanade, did ya get Crabita in the tub okay?\n
[16:28] ---
Whoa, what's with the old dude? Creepy!\n
[16:31] ---
Dunno. Some old guy\nI don't know was already in there.\n
[16:34] ---
I am not an old guy you don't know! You know this old guy!
[16:37] ---
Wait--I'm not old!
[16:39] ---
--Have you forgotten so soon? Daikoku Nikai--\n--There we go, Crabita. Rest easy, now.\n
[16:42] ---
Huh? What? What are you\nplanning to snip with those claws?!\n
[16:49] ---
I wonder why my brother was in the bath?\n
[16:52] ---
And passed out naked, to boot.\n
[16:55] ---
Did he come to take me back?\n
[16:59] ---
It'll be fine. Kanade came to get me.\n
[17:02] ---
From now on, I can stay here\nat Kasumi House with Kanade.\n
[17:07] ---
Hey, Kaho--did something good happen?\n
[17:10] ---
Uh-huh. I'm happy that I can be with you.\n
[17:13] ---
Oh? Me, too.\n
[17:16] ---
So the feeling's mutual... right?\n
[17:22] ---
I'm making a raft out of milk cartons.\n
[17:24] ---
--What's... going on?\n--I came to ask you to help tomorrow.\n
[17:27] ---
--When did he come into my room?\n--...so it's gonna have to be an underwater walk.\n
[17:32] ---
Then it came to me!\n
[17:35] ---
Looking the way I do...\n
[17:40] ---
Even though I'm in my underwear...\n
[17:45] ---
Kanade's acting too normal.\n
[17:49] ---
So there you go. Good night, sleep tight!\n
[17:54] ---
What is this... this feeling?\n
[17:58] ---
He left the door open.\n
[18:12] ---
He saw me--Taga saw me!\n
[18:16] ---
Kanade saw me like this and didn't react.\n
[18:20] ---
Now Taga's gotten an eyeful, too...\n
[18:26] ---
I hate this!\n
[18:32] ---
Daikoku Nikaido, age 29, Taurus, blood type A.\n
[18:35] ---
I've watched Kaho intently from morning\n
[18:37] ---
--How did this person suddenly\n--till night, and I fully intend to continue.\n
[18:37] ---
--wind up living in my closet?\n--till night, and I fully intend to continue.\n
[18:41] ---
"Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"\n
[18:44] ---
Daikoku?\n
[18:46] ---
Oh, Kaho! Good mor-Nintendo!\n
[18:48] ---
G-Good morning, Kanade.\n
[18:51] ---
Hey, has anyone seen Crabita?\nShe's not in the tub...\n
[18:55] ---
Kanade! Look: seaweed!\nHooray, seaweed, yay! Right?\n
[18:59] ---
Yay, seaweed! Hooray!\n
[19:02] ---
Slurp!\n
[19:04] ---
Eh?\n
[19:06] ---
Crab... ita?\n
[19:19] ---
Mafuyu, you meanie! Your bellybutton sticks out!\n
[19:21] ---
Crabita's not food!\n
[19:23] ---
--Keeping a pet crab in the bathtub? --She was a friend! But you...
[19:25] ---
--Truly, children's ignorance is frightening.\n--Oh! That's right! Crabita went back to Kanazawa!\n
[19:28] ---
She sends her regards!\n
[19:30] ---
--Yeah, yeah! She's about to have her babies!\n--That's enough, you two.\n
[19:36] ---
Humans survive by receiving all kinds of lives.\n
[19:41] ---
Better to connect your lives by\neating them than to just let them die.\n
[19:44] ---
Kanade... let this be a\nlearning experience for you.\n
[19:48] ---
Shut up! If learning makes me okay\nwith what happened to Crabita,\n
[19:52] ---
I'd rather stay stupid!\n
[19:54] ---
You grown-ups... you grown-ups...\n
[19:57] ---
I hate you!\n
[20:00] ---
Kanade!\n
[20:02] ---
A man who'd cry over a crab\nbeing eaten isn't worth going after.\n
[20:06] ---
After all, he's such a child\nthat he saw me naked in the tub\n
[20:10] ---
and thought I was you.\n
[20:13] ---
Huh?\n
[20:15] ---
An easy mistake to make, with that body. Am I right?
[20:19] ---
T-T-Taga?! Y-Y-You sound like you've seen it!
[20:23] ---
P-Perhaps you suffer from\nlow blood pressure, Taga?\n
[20:26] ---
--Mornings must be rough!\n--Oh, I saw it, all right. I saw it just fine.\n
[20:31] ---
But with so little there, I could\nhardly tell if she was a woman.\n
[20:36] ---
Kanade saw, too, didn't he?\n
[20:39] ---
But he didn't react.\n
[20:42] ---
And your mind was full of\nwishy-washy nonsense again, wasn't it,\n
[20:45] ---
you stupid girl.\n
[20:50] ---
I bet Kanade doesn't\neven think of you as a woman.\n
[22:30] ---
"Afterclass Homeroom"\n
[22:31] ---
Out of the way, Crabbonio. Crabita is my girl!\n
[22:35] ---
Ha! Save the jokes for\nafter we molt. Crabita's mine!\n
[22:40] ---
Hey, don't forget about ol' Snowcrab Smith!\n
[22:43] ---
I came like a thousand miles from\nthe southwest to see my honey Crabita!\n
[22:47] ---
But you're a snow crab!
[22:50] ---
Well, I just want to mate.\n
[22:52] ---
Gross, Carl!\n
[22:54] ---
A minor detail. But more importantly...\nI'm related to the hermit crab.\n
[23:00] ---
Crabita! Who's your one true love?\n
[23:01] ---
That'd be me, o' course!\n
[23:03] ---
Won't you accept this man's pure heart?\n
[23:07] ---
Look, you keep calling me\n"Crabita," but I'm a male.\n
[23:11] ---
Huh?!\n
[23:12] ---
"Echizen crab" is a brand\nname for male snow crabs\n
[23:16] ---
caught in the Echizen region.\n
[23:17] ---
Blurp!\n
[23:20] ---
Sheesh... Hey, was that my only part? A crab?!
[23:25] ---
Renren here!\n
[23:26] ---
Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:28] ---
Oh! Don't look there! Not cool!\n
[23:32] ---
All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:34] ---
"No Peeking! Kanade's Secret Diary"!\n
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