E5 - The owner of the inn they visit seems very nice, but...

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Alvin
    Monsters threaten human life.
[00:05] Alvin
    They are opposed by brave adventurers!
[00:10] Alvin
    And I, Alvin, am one of them!
[00:15] Alvin
    Now in a party with Carla, the healer,
[00:18] Alvin
    my journey continues!
SIGN    Don't Hurt Me,
SIGN    Don't Hurt Me,
SIGN    My Healer!
SIGN    The owner of the inn they visit seems very nice, but...
SIGN    Inn Stay! Burin
[01:56] Alvin
    Excuse me.
[01:57] Alvin
    We'd like a room for the night.
[01:59] Orc
    Oink.
[02:00] Orc
    Welcome to Stay! Burin.
[02:02] Alvin
    That's a wonderful name for an inn.
[02:04] Orc
    Oink. Thank you very much.
[02:07] Orc
    How many in your party?
[02:08] Alvin
    Just me and one wannabe goblin.
[02:13] Carla
    I don't want to stay in a pigsty—
[02:15] Alvin
    It's an inn.
[02:16] Carla
    But it really looks like—
[02:17] Alvin
    It's all people here.
[02:19] Carla
    But he keeps saying "oink."
[02:20] Alvin
    Drop it.
[02:21] Orc
    What was that she said?
[02:23] Alvin
    Oh, ignore her.
[02:25] Alvin
    It's just goblin nonsense.
[02:27] Orc
    Oh, would you like me to prepare
    your dinner for the night?
[02:32] Orc
    I do a bit of cooking on the side!
[02:36] Carla
    Or maybe it's a butcher's shop?
[02:37] Alvin
    It's an inn.
[02:39] Alvin
    What's on the menu for tonight?
[02:41] Orc
    Tonkatsu!
[02:44] Alvin
    That's... deep-fried pork?
[02:46] Orc
    Oink.
[02:48] Carla
    Is tonkatsu tastier when you murder
    your own kind to make it?!
[02:52] Carla
    It's ton-conscionable!
[02:53] Alvin
    Will you just...
[02:55] Alvin
    You can't say that to his face!
[02:56] Alvin
    Your rudeness is off the charts today!
[02:59] Carla
    But you were thinking the same thing I was!
[03:02] Carla
    It's pathetic to act like you
    have the moral high ground!
[03:05] Carla
    And I have never spoken
    anything but the truth!
[03:08] Alvin
    I already know that's a bald-faced lie—
[03:10] Alvin
    And what's with those moves?!
[03:13] Carla
    I got motion-sick.
[03:13] Alvin
    I wish you'd spit up your evil soul.
[03:16] Carla
    You really didn't notice?
[03:18] Carla
    I wonder if that ugly...
[03:20] Carla
    I mean, unique helmet of yours has
    a curse to reduce your perception.
[03:25] Alvin
    What are you talking about?
[03:26] Carla
    I'm saying, that pig is not human!
[03:30] Alvin
    Everyone knows that pigs aren't human.
[03:32] Carla
    But that's what I'm—
[03:34] Carla
    Oh, eternal darkness!
[03:36] Orc
    Hey.
[03:39] Orc
    Are you calling me a pig?
[03:41] Alvin
    See? He's mad!
[03:43] Alvin
    You've got him enraged!
[03:44] Carla
    Did you say he's a Landrace?
[03:46] Alvin
    Are you just hungry or something?
[03:48] Orc
    You mock me...
[03:50] Alvin
    Wh-What's he doing?
[03:52] Carla
    He's shown his true self.
[03:54] Orc
    Very well...
[03:56] Orc
    You'll see what kind of pig I am...
[03:58] Orc
    at the cost of your lives!
[04:01] Alvin
    A monster!
[04:02] Carla
    Please, be careful!
[04:03] Carla
    Dark elves find his breed of
    monster particularly detestable!
[04:06] Alvin
    Seems irrelevant, since you're a goblin!
[04:08] Orc
    Oink!
[04:11] Orc
    How dare you say that?!
[04:14] Alvin
    He was disguised as a human?
[04:17] Alvin
    Maybe he's a tanuki?
[04:19] Orc
    Bah! A pox on you all!
[04:21] Orc
    You'll pay for calling me a pig!
[04:23] Orc
    I am a proud member of the orc race! Oink!
[04:27] Alvin
    His true face is incredible!
[04:28] Carla
    Hang on a minute!
[04:30] Carla
    I just realized something outrageous!
[04:32] Carla
    I must be an angel, to have
    noticed something like this!
[04:35] Alvin
    Did you? That's great.
[04:36] Alvin
    But I suspect your realization
    will further complicate things,
[04:38] Alvin
    so could you keep it to yourself?
[04:40] Carla
    I assumed the innkeeper was a pig, but...
[04:42] Alvin
    Yeah, just can't keep anything to herself.
[04:45] Carla
    But he said, "Baa" just now!
[04:47] Carla
    That suggests he's not a pig, but a sheep!
[04:49] Carla
    He had me fooled...
    I was so sure he was a pig!
[04:53] Orc
    Actually, I'm an orc!
[04:54] Orc
    Oink! Oink!
[04:56] Alvin
    You heard the man.
[04:57] Carla
    But he said "Baa" earlier!
[04:59] Orc
    I said "Bah," not "Baa"!
[05:02] Carla
    What? So you are a pig?
[05:04] Orc
    I'm not a pig! I'm an orc!
[05:07] Carla
    A pork? That's still a pig.
[05:09] Orc
    Bah! I'm an orc! An orc!
[05:11] Carla
    He said, "Baa" again! He's a total sheep!
[05:14] Orc
    It's not that kind of "Bah"!
[05:16] Orc
    Oh, give me a break! Ugh!
[05:18] Carla
    "Ook"? You're a monkey now?
[05:20] Carla
    That's a bit of a stretch!
[05:21] Carla
    I'm not sure how you expect
    us to believe that!
[05:23] Orc
    Shut up!
[05:24] Orc
    You can't taunt an orc
    and get off scot-free!
[05:27] Carla
    How much for a room, then?
[05:29] Orc
    Oh, a room for two?
[05:30] Orc
    No, screw that!
[05:31] Orc
    You're gonna have to fight me! One-on-one!
[05:33] Alvin
    Hang on a minute!
[05:34] Alvin
    I know she picked this fight all on her own,
[05:36] Alvin
    but a duel seems a bit much...
[05:38] Carla
    Very well.
[05:39] Orc
    All right, you're on!
[05:41] Orc
    If you win, you can call me a pig,
    a sheep, or anything you want!
[05:45] Carla
    Very well.
[05:47] Carla
    And if I lose, I will also
    treat you like a pig.
[05:51] Carla
    That seems only fair.
[05:52] Alvin
    You're ruthless.
[05:53] Orc
    That's ridiculous!
[05:55] Orc
    It means you're treating me like
    a pig whether I win or lose!
[05:58] Carla
    Then, let us begin!
[05:59] Orc
    Hang on a minute! We
    aren't finished talking!
[06:01] Carla
    First comes...
[06:02] Orc
    And we're doing rock-paper-scissors?!
[06:04] Carla
    Pork!
[06:08] Alvin
    That's a joke on "Rock" and "Pork," I think.
[06:11] Orc
    I mean, I got that...
[06:13] Orc
    I've just taken so much abuse today,
    it's hard to have the appropriate reaction.
[06:17] Alvin
    Hey, no need to spare her feelings.
[06:19] Alvin
    Just say she bombed—
[06:21] Alvin
    What is it?
[06:22] Carla
    I s-suddenly feel feverish!
[06:25] Carla
    It's e-explosive damage.
[06:27] Alvin
    "Bombed" means your joke didn't land.
[06:29] Carla
    Should I ask you to kill me?
[06:31] Orc
    The fool completely imploded!
[06:34] Orc
    But she seems like the type that
    never learns until she suffers,
[06:36] Orc
    so I guess it serves her right!
[06:38] Alvin
    I'm with you there.
[06:39] Alvin
    But... technically, it is
    my job to protect her!
[06:43] Alvin
    I won't allow you to harm her!
[06:45] Alvin
    Always wanted to say something like that!
[06:48] Orc
    Then I'll have to flatten you, as well!
[06:51] Orc
    Jump!
[06:52] Alvin
    Jump—
[06:53] Orc
    Hecaton Press!
[06:55] Both
    Such a short jump...
[06:56] Orc
    Oink!
[06:58] Alvin
    What's wrong?
[07:00] Orc
    I think I broke my leg on the landing.
[07:03] Alvin
    Lose some weight?
[07:05] Alvin
    Can you cast a healing spell on him?
[07:06] Alvin
    I seriously can't watch this...
[07:08] Carla
    I don't know any spells that
    work on flightless pigs.
[07:12] Carla
    I could put him out of his misery, though.
[07:14] Alvin
    You sure about that?
    You could get on his good side.
[07:17] Carla
    Don't move!
[07:18] Carla
    I'll cast a healing spell on you now!
[07:21] Alvin
    Though I doubt there's anything you
    can do to get on his good side now...
[07:24] Orc
    Oink...
[07:25] Orc
    Y-You would save me?
[07:27] Orc
    But why?
[07:28] Carla
    Does one need a reason to
    save another from suffering?
[07:33] Alvin
    Just don't go charging him afterwards, okay?
[07:38] Alvin
    At least try to deny it?
[07:40] Orc
    Oink. O, Holy Woman!
[07:42] Alvin
    I think he's got brain damage.
[07:44] Carla
    Oh, you flatterer. I hear that all the time!
[07:46] Alvin
    And she's even worse!
[07:48] Carla
    But first, Mr. Innkeeper...
[07:50] Carla
    I do have a question for you.
[07:52] Carla
    It's about the travelers and adventurers
    who have stayed at your inn before us.
[07:56] Alvin
    Oh, that's right.
[07:58] Alvin
    The only reason an orc would go out of his way
    to disguise himself as human and run an inn...
[08:03] Alvin
    Can it be...?!
[08:04] Orc
    Oink.
[08:05] Orc
    I guess the pig is up.
[08:07] Carla
    You work for a slaughterhouse?
[08:09] Orc
    I'm in the presence of a holy woman,
    so it's high time to confess my sin.
[08:13] Orc
    As you intuited,
[08:14] Orc
    travelers, adventurers, and merchants would
    come by my inn, and I'd orchestrate their stays.
[08:19] Carla
    More like... orchestrate.
[08:20] Orc
    Tired from their long travels,
[08:23] Orc
    they'd go to their rooms, rest,
    and let down their guard...
[08:28] Alvin
    Can it be...
[08:29] Orc
    That's right.
[08:30] Orc
    I'd take advantage of their vulnerable
    state and add it to their food!
[08:34] Alvin
    Poison?!
[08:34] Orc
    A secret orcish elixir of
    nutrition and stamina!
[08:38] Alvin
    Nutrition... what?
[08:40] Alvin
    That's not what I was expecting.
[08:41] Orc
    But it was a double-edged sword...
[08:43] Orc
    If I got the dose even slightly off,
    it put them in a state of total exhaustion!
[08:47] Orc
    I just wanted my customers to feel
    nice after a stay at my inn...
[08:54] Orc
    But one little mistake,
    and all my best intentions backfired!
[08:59] Alvin
    Well, it's important to
    follow dosing instructions!
[09:01] Orc
    I'm a true swine who put
    his customers in danger!
[09:04] Orc
    What's wrong with me?
[09:05] Alvin
    Hang on a minute.
[09:06] Alvin
    Hey, Carla.
[09:08] Alvin
    I think he might be a good guy after all!
[09:10] Alvin
    You think we're the bad
    guys for upsetting him?
[09:14] Carla
    I see.
[09:16] Carla
    Then there's no two ways about it...
[09:19] Carla
    Guilty!
[09:20] Alvin
    Just that one way, huh?
[09:21] Orc
    Oink! Please forgive me!
[09:31] Carla
    Alvin-san!
[09:33] Carla
    Are you going to sell me to slavers?
[09:35] Alvin
    What have the slavers done to deserve that?
[09:37] Alvin
    We're on a guild quest to
    collect medicinal herbs.
[09:41] Carla
    I see...
[09:42] Carla
    By the way, Alvin-san.
[09:44] Alvin
    Yes?
[09:45] Carla
    Could you try to drag the
    cart a little smoother?
[09:48] Carla
    I'm motion-sick.
[09:49] Alvin
    You don't have to ride in it!
[09:51] Alvin
    What even made you think it was
    okay to get in the cart—
[09:53] Carla
    Alvin-san. Someone's here.
[09:56] Alvin
    A traveler?
[09:57] Alvin
    No, an old woman?
[09:59] Carla
    Do you think she's not feeling well?
[10:01] Alvin
    Let's talk to her.
[10:03] Carla
    You're not going to make her
    pull the cart, are you?!
[10:06] Alvin
    Why was that your assumption?!
[10:08] Carla
    Are you going to hit on her, then?
[10:11] Alvin
    Don't make me say it again!
[10:13] Alvin
    Excuse me.
[10:15] Alvin
    Are you all right?
[10:16] Alvin
    Are you under the weather?
[10:17] Carla
    Hey, hey, hey!
[10:18] Carla
    Got time to kill, girl?
[10:20] Carla
    Wanna hang with us?
[10:21] Alvin
    Don't hit on her!
[10:23] Witch
    It's so nice to see young
    folk with so much energy.
[10:26] Witch
    I'm just resting these old bones.
[10:28] Alvin
    But this place is infested with monsters!
[10:30] Alvin
    We could take you home, if you like.
[10:32] Witch
    It wouldn't be too much trouble?
[10:34] Carla
    You use honeyed words to get
    close to women in trouble,
[10:38] Carla
    then cleverly steer the conversation
    into going home with them...
[10:41] Carla
    You're a true pick-up artist.
    And well-practiced, at that...
[10:44] Alvin
    Phrasing, please!
[10:45] Carla
    Yet you've never had a
    girlfriend! Mysterious!
[10:47] Alvin
    Just butt out already!
[10:48] Witch
    Well, at your kind insistence...
[10:53] Witch
    Ho ho ho! The fool doesn't even
    realize I'm actually a witch!
[10:57] Witch
    And I've been needing the
    bowels of a man for my brew!
[11:02] Alvin
    You can walk.
[11:03] Carla
    That's a flag for a piggyback ride!
[11:05] Witch
    And that one's a dark elf!
[11:08] Witch
    An extremely rare, high-quality ingredient!
[11:11] Witch
    I can't let her get away!
[11:13] Witch
    Oh, young man...
[11:15] Witch
    I'll let you have this.
[11:17] Alvin
    What is it?
[11:18] Witch
    A homemade stamina potion.
[11:21] Witch
    I'd meant to drink it later,
[11:23] Witch
    but I'll give it to you instead.
[11:26] Alvin
    That's so kind of you!
[11:27] Witch
    What a great fool!
[11:29] Witch
    That's a deadly poison!
[11:31] Witch
    And once I neutralize the man,
    the woman will be easily—
[11:35] Alvin
    What the...
[11:36] Carla
    What is it?
[11:38] Alvin
    I'm having a hard time
    getting a grip on the cork.
[11:41] Carla
    Oh, come on.
    It's because of that ridiculous outfit!
[11:44] Carla
    Hand it to me. I'll open it.
[11:46] Alvin
    Thanks.
[11:47] Carla
    No problem.
[11:48] Carla
    Goodness me. How did you ever get
    along without me, Alvin-san?
[11:53] Alvin
    I don't know how I get along with you.
[12:00] Carla
    Bah!
[12:02] Both
    What?!
[12:05] Alvin
    What... What the hell did you do?!
[12:07] Carla
    G-Go on, Alvin-san!
[12:09] Carla
    Lap it up! Lap it up!
[12:10] Carla
    Like a dog!
[12:11] Alvin
    Don't be ridiculous!
[12:12] Carla
    Three-second rule!
[12:13] Alvin
    Pretty sure that doesn't apply to liquids!
[12:15] Alvin
    Just because you can't open something
    is no reason to break it!
[12:19] Carla
    That's not what it was!
[12:21] Carla
    It was um... um...
[12:24] Carla
    Oh, yes! It's poison!
[12:26] Alvin
    Poison? What?
[12:28] Alvin
    Wait, you just told me to lap it up!
[12:30] Carla
    Fool!
[12:31] Alvin
    Shut up, stupid!
[12:33] Carla
    You're simply too careless, Alvin-san!
[12:35] Carla
    Too trusting of strangers!
[12:37] Alvin
    Well...
[12:38] Carla
    Look at that sinister get-up!
[12:40] Carla
    She's clearly a witch!
[12:41] Alvin
    I mean, I won't pretend she
    doesn't look like one...
[12:44] Carla
    Though I'm not one to talk,
    bewitching as I am...
[12:47] Alvin
    I'd argue that one!
[12:48] Witch
    Do you have any proof that I'm a witch?
[12:51] Carla
    Proof, you say?
[12:53] Carla
    Let me see!
[12:54] Carla
    I can get that by beating you up
[12:56] Carla
    then making up whatever story I want!
[12:58] Alvin
    That's messed up!
[12:59] Alvin
    But I suppose... it is a bit dangerous
    to trust a total stranger?
[13:04] Witch
    Oh, no! My precious ingredients...
[13:07] Witch
    Oh, the sorrow!
[13:09] Witch
    I'd hoped to treat you to my fine home
    cooking when we arrived at my house.
[13:14] Witch
    My son died in an epidemic,
[13:16] Witch
    and I outlived my husband,
    so now I live all alone...
[13:19] Witch
    To receive kindness after so long, I was
    simply so happy, I wanted to thank you!
[13:25] Carla
    Honestly. It's no use trying
    to earn our pity now.
[13:28] Carla
    We'd never believe such a ridiculous story.
[13:31] Witch
    Tch. I should've known it wouldn't work...
[13:34] Carla
    However, I do happen to
    be very hungry right now!
[13:37] Alvin
    Now, hop aboard!
[13:39] Alvin
    And after we get you home, you can
    pay us back with home cooking!
[13:42] Witch
    Too easy.
[13:49] Witch
    This here is my home.
[13:53] Carla
    Thanks for having us!
[13:55] Carla
    So many books!
[13:57] Carla
    I bet the place would burn real good!
[14:00] Alvin
    Plotting your next crime, huh?
[14:02] Witch
    Have a seat wherever you like.
[14:04] Witch
    I'll prepare drinks for you all.
[14:06] Alvin
    Oh, thanks.
[14:08] Carla
    Time to rest these old bones.
[14:13] Carla
    I'll have one from the tap!
[14:15] Alvin
    What are you, an old man?
[14:16] Alvin
    And what tap, exactly?
[14:18] Carla
    A tap on a fruit. For the juice.
[14:20] Witch
    What an irritating bunch of children.
[14:23] Witch
    But, no matter.
[14:24] Witch
    This anesthetic-infused herbal tea
    will make them nice and pliable!
[14:30] Witch
    Here you are. Herbal tea.
[14:32] Carla
    Is it made from "legal" herbs?
[14:34] Alvin
    Your own legality is questionable!
[14:36] Alvin
    I'm sorry.
    She really likes to run her mouth.
[14:39] Witch
    It's good to see young people
    with so much energy.
[14:41] Witch
    Here. Your herbal tea.
[14:43] Alvin
    Oh, that's right.
[14:45] Alvin
    Let's drink!
[14:50] Alvin
    Are you okay?!
[14:51] Witch
    Oh, quite all right...
[14:53] Witch
    Though it did get on my clothing...
[14:55] Alvin
    And... are you okay?
[14:58] Carla
    Well... I was just thinking
    I'd like to lie down!
[15:02] Alvin
    Could you not shout, maybe?
[15:03] Carla
    I was also thinking I'd
    like to read some books!
[15:06] Alvin
    Would you clean them up already?
[15:07] Alvin
    You go and get changed, ma'am.
[15:09] Alvin
    I'll clean up here.
[15:12] Witch
    Thank you. You'll find the cleaning
    supplies right over there.
[15:15] Witch
    Tch. He's a lucky little rat.
[15:17] Carla
    Alvin-san, there's a rag right here.
[15:20] Alvin
    Oh, thanks.
[15:21] Alvin
    Hey, that's my mantle!
[15:23] Alvin
    Quit messing around!
[15:24] Witch
    I know. I'll try that!
[15:27] Alvin
    All right, get cleaning already.
[15:30] Carla
    Let's clean the room while we're at it.
[15:32] Carla
    It's really dusty and stuff.
[15:34] Alvin
    I never thought I'd hear you
    offer to do something nice.
[15:38] Carla
    Well, she lives by herself, so it's
    probably hard to keep the place clean...
[15:42] Alvin
    What's going on with her?
[15:44] Alvin
    She's being completely decent, for once!
[15:46] Carla
    And if I swiped a couple books in
    the meantime, who would notice?
[15:50] Alvin
    Yeah, what else did I expect?
[15:52] Witch
    Now, what are we doing?
[15:54] Alvin
    I figured we'd do some cleaning.
[15:56] Witch
    Why, thank you!
[15:58] Alvin
    What is that, ma'am?
[15:59] Witch
    It's called an aromatic candle.
[16:02] Witch
    It puts out a fragrance that calms the soul!
[16:05] Witch
    I have visitors so rarely...
[16:07] Witch
    I was hoping it might help you relax!
[16:10] Witch
    In fact, it has a sedative effect!
[16:12] Witch
    I drank an antidote in
    advance, so I'll be fine.
[16:15] Witch
    But if they breathe it in
    for ten minutes straight,
[16:18] Witch
    an unavoidable drowsiness
    will overtake them and—
[16:21] Carla
    Fire safety first!
[16:26] Carla
    Oh...
[16:28] Carla
    Wh-What would you have done if
    the books had caught fire?!
[16:31] Alvin
    At least warn someone before you do that!
[16:34] Alvin
    I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
[16:36] Alvin
    I feel like I'm doing nothing
    but apologizing today!
[16:38] Carla
    I'm sorry for being so
    dedicated to fire safety!
[16:41] Alvin
    I'm sorry I failed to prevent
    this walking natural disaster!
[16:44] Witch
    I suppose I'll get changed again.
[16:46] Alvin
    Oh? R-Right...
[16:48] Carla
    Thank goodness! She wasn't angry!
[16:50] Alvin
    Like we'd get that lucky!
[16:52] Alvin
    I think she's so far past
    anger she can't even yell!
[16:55] Alvin
    Let's clean up fast!
[16:57] Alvin
    When she gets back, we'll kneel before
    her, apologize, and be on our way!
[17:00] Carla
    What?
[17:01] Carla
    I thought we were going to sit around the table,
    sharing fun stories and eating her cooking!
[17:05] Alvin
    You expect polite conversation
    in this frigid atmosphere?!
[17:08] Witch
    What's all the hubbub here?
[17:11] Alvin
    Ma'am, you're back already...
[17:12] Witch
    I did promise to treat you to
    my home cooking, after all...
[17:16] Alvin
    Actually, I was thinking
    we'd be on our way...
[17:20] Witch
    Just eat already!
[17:22] Alvin
    She's totally pissed!
[17:24] Alvin
    And what the heck is that?
[17:25] Alvin
    She's totally here to kill us!
[17:27] Carla
    That looks gross.
[17:29] Carla
    Wish I hadn't gotten my hopes up.
[17:31] Alvin
    And she keeps making everything worse!
[17:34] Carla
    Would you like me to cast a
    spell to make it taste better?
[17:37] Witch
    Eh?
[17:37] Carla
    Let's see...
[17:39] Carla
    I believe the chant goes like...
[17:41] Carla
    Become delicious! Moe, moe...
[17:44] Carla
    ...Blast!
[17:52] Witch
    Just get out!
[18:00] Witch
    What in the world are you doing?
[18:04] Witch
    I just told you to leave!
[18:07] Witch
    What are you doing in here?
[18:09] Carla
    Isn't it obvious?
[18:11] Carla
    I'm cooking something up.
[18:13] Alvin
    It sounds like you meant
    that in a different way!
[18:15] Carla
    We had a set of bad breaks,
[18:17] Carla
    and then I went and blew away your meal.
[18:20] Carla
    And so, as atonement...
[18:23] Carla
    I will be cooking...
[18:25] Carla
    With components!
[18:27] Alvin
    Oh, shut up.
[18:28] Witch
    Is there any way I can say no to this?
[18:29] Carla
    No!
[18:30] Alvin
    Carla, have you ever cooked before?
[18:33] Carla
    No!
[18:34] Alvin
    Yeah, I figured.
[18:35] Carla
    But I have eaten before!
[18:37] Alvin
    Yeah, I figured!
[18:39] Witch
    Do as you wish.
[18:40] Witch
    The ingredients are in
    the storehouse out back.
[18:43] Carla
    Thank you very much!
[18:46] Alvin
    Are you sure about this?
[18:48] Witch
    Yes... It's clear she won't listen,
    no matter what I say.
[18:52] Witch
    But the sooner I let her do what she
    wants, the sooner she'll leave.
[18:56] Alvin
    Assuming we survive that long!
[18:58] Carla
    Sorry for the wait!
[19:00] Carla
    It's amazing, Alvin-san!
[19:02] Carla
    She had so many ingredients
    I've never seen before!
[19:05] Alvin
    I've seen that one before!
[19:07] Alvin
    Where have you been?!
[19:09] Kinoko
    Well, after we left that beginner dungeon,
    I went chasing a butterfly, and got lost!
[19:15] Alvin
    Hey, Carla!
[19:16] Alvin
    You're not planning on
    cooking with him, are you?
[19:19] Carla
    Oh, no. Not today.
[19:21] Alvin
    Not ever, please!
[19:23] Alvin
    So, what are you going to make?
[19:25] Carla
    I'll make myself a legend!
[19:26] Alvin
    That's one legend no one will hand down!
[19:29] Alvin
    Heave ho!
[19:31] Kinoko
    Hands to yourself, please.
[19:31] Alvin
    Heave ho!
[19:33] Carla
    Step right this way, ma'am!
[19:36] Carla
    Just stand here and don't move.
[19:38] Witch
    What's this? I thought you were cooking...
[19:41] Carla
    Emergency Ratio—
[19:43] Carla
    Er, Altargaia-san, please help me.
[19:45] Kinoko
    Roger-dodger!
[19:47] Carla
    Put these ingredients over here,
[19:49] Carla
    and those ingredients over there.
[19:51] Carla
    There, that should do it.
[19:53] Witch
    What exactly are you doing?
[19:56] Carla
    Cooking requires the correct preparation
    of all ingredients, right?
[19:59] Carla
    I thought I'd supplement the
    preparation with a spell.
[20:02] Alvin
    Is this going to be safe to eat?
[20:04] Carla
    No worries.
[20:06] Carla
    My cooking will be perfectly eatable. I think.
[20:20] Carla
    Yes!
[20:21] Alvin
    Don't say "Yes"!
[20:22] Alvin
    What the hell is that?!
[20:23] Alvin
    It just ate the old woman!
[20:25] Carla
    I said it would be eatable!
    You know, "able to eat"!
[20:27] Alvin
    That isn't how words work!
[20:30] Alvin
    And the only way that's cooking
    is if it's horrifrying!
[20:33] Carla
    Oh, that was good.
    "Well done," one might say.
[20:36] Alvin
    Seriously, we have to do something!
[20:39] Alvin
    Hey, did you just hear—
[20:42] Carla
    Looks like it's done.
[20:44] Alvin
    Are you all right, ma'am?!
[20:45] Alvin
    It didn't digest you, did it?
[20:48] Witch
    Where am I?
[20:54] Alvin
    Who are you?
[20:55] Carla
    It's the old woman.
[20:57] Alvin
    She sure doesn't look like an old woman!
[21:00] Carla
    I chose ingredients with
    anti-aging properties!
[21:05] Alvin
    I think that's a little much
    for food-based anti-aging!
[21:08] Kinoko
    Here.
[21:09] Witch
    Wh-Wh-What in the world has happened?!
[21:11] Witch
    How can I be young again?
    It's simply not possible!
[21:15] Witch
    A spell to restore youth... No, a ritual?
[21:18] Witch
    One way or another,
[21:19] Witch
    the ability to reverse the flow of time is
    something I've only heard of in legends!
[21:26] Witch
    Who in the world are you?!
[21:28] Carla
    Allow me to tell you.
[21:30] Carla
    Carve these words into your heart!
[21:32] Carla
    When standing, as stunning as—
[21:33] Alvin
    Stress.
[21:35] Carla
    When sitting, as striking as—
[21:35] Alvin
    Depression.
[21:37] Carla
    When walking, as arresting as—
[21:38] Alvin
    Disaster!
[21:39] Carla
    I am known as...
[21:41] Alvin
    ...according to her...
[21:42] Carla
    ...the holy woman, Carla!
[21:44] Carla
    Hey!
[21:45] Alvin
    What now?!
[21:45] Carla
    Stop riffing on everything I say!
[21:46] Witch
    They're in perfect sync.
[21:47] Alvin
    Everything I said was true!
SIGN    Next Time
[23:24] Kinoko
    I'll handle next episode's title!
[23:26] Kinoko
    Hang on, you guys can read this stuff?!
[23:29] Kinoko
    "As usual, Alvin and Carla
    have to overcome
[23:31] Kinoko
    a series of crises on their travels
[23:32] Kinoko
    like being attacked by a thief
[23:34] Kinoko
    and running into a golem until
     a certain series of events..."
SIGN    See you then!
SIGN    "As usual, Alvin and Carla have to overcome a series of crises on their
    travels like being attacked by a thief and running into a golem until
     a certain series of events leads Alvin to take massive damage and
     it's so extreme that he even has to take off his armor to recuperate
     and that becomes an opportunity for them to get in a fight and
     reevaluate their relationship a little and even though their fights
     are an important part of the show the times being what they are
     during cast auditions and ADR and such only so many people
    were allowed in the recording studio at once which is pretty
    tough to work around but everyone gave it their all to make
    the best show they could and that's the deal with episode 6."
[23:37] Kinoko
    Uh, that's the deal with episode 6!
[23:38] Kinoko
    See you next—