5 - Ominous Unknowns

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:15] Noichigo
    It's snowing so hard.
[00:20] Noichigo
    I've been helping with stuff all afternoon.
[00:30] (Flashback) Noichigo
    It's a jizo statue.
[00:32] (Flashback) Noichigo
    You must be cold under all that snow.
SIGN    Boof
[00:38] (Flashback) Mashirou
    I'm no jizo statue!
[00:40] (Flashback) Noichigo
    The jizo statue talked!
[00:45] (Flashback) Mashirou
    I said I'm not a statue!
[00:47] Mashirou
    Jeez, she's such a klutz.
[00:50] Mashirou
    Welp, I guess she's gonna
    run away from me, too.
[00:53] Mashirou
    Just like everyone else.
[00:55] (Flashback) Guy
    It talked!
[00:56] (Flashback) Girl
    Ew, creepy cat!
[00:58] (Flashback) Woman
    Help! It's a dangerous creature!
[01:06] (Flashback) Noichigo
    You're so cold.
[01:08] Mashirou
    What, she's not gonna run?
[01:21] (Flashback) Noichigo
    Are you okay with milk?
[01:22] (Flashback) Mashirou
    Huh? Yeah.
[01:23] (Flashback) Noichigo
    Extra rich.
SIGN    Extra Rich
[01:24] (Flashback) ---
    Okay...
[01:25] (Flashback) Mashirou
    I'm surprised you're willing to take me in.
[01:28] (Flashback) Mashirou
    I'm clearly suspicious.
[01:31] (Flashback) Noichigo
    I guess. Well, it's a habit.
[01:34] (Flashback) Noichigo
    I've always had a hard time
    ignoring people in need.
[01:38] (Flashback) Noichigo
    I know. I'm insufferable.
[01:41] (Flashback) Mashirou
    So you're a do-gooder.
[01:45] (Flashback) Mashirou
    Anyway...
[01:46] (Flashback) Mashirou
    Thanks for helping me, miss.
[01:48] (Flashback) Mashirou
    This may not be the best time to ask...
[01:52] (Flashback) Mashirou
    But would you be willing
    to become a magical girl?
[01:56] (Flashback) Noichigo
    A m-magical girl?
[01:58] (Flashback) Mashirou
    An evil organization is
    on its way to this town.
[02:02] (Flashback) Mashirou
    I want you to fight it.
[02:04] (Flashback) Noichigo
    Wait, but how do you know that?
[02:08] (Flashback) Mashirou
    Just my precognition powers.
[02:09] (Flashback) Noichigo
    Really? Wow!
[02:11] (Flashback) Noichigo
    I can't, though.
[02:13] (Flashback) Noichigo
    I'm not cut out for such a big job.
[02:16] (Flashback) Mashirou
    You don't have to.
SIGN    Sulk
[02:18] (Flashback) Mashirou
    It's just a request.
[02:20] (Flashback) Mashirou
    It just means that I'll be a
    teensy bit inconvenienced.
SIGN    Teensy
[02:24] (Flashback) Noichigo
    Okay, I'll do it!
[02:27] (Flashback) Mashirou
    Oh, you will? Thank you!
[02:30] (Flashback) Mashirou
    In that case...
[02:39] (Flashback) Mashirou
    From now on, you're a hero of justice.
[02:46] (Flashback) Mashirou
    I think this'll be perfect for
    your insufferable personality.
[02:50] (Flashback) Noichigo
    But my shoulders and legs are
    showing. It's embarrassing.
[02:54] (Flashback) Noichigo
    And the frills are so frilly.
[02:56] (Flashback) Mashirou
    Oh, also...
SIGN    Fu fu fu
[02:57] (Flashback) Mashirou
    You get a wand, too.
[02:59] (Flashback) Noichigo
    That's a level up!
[03:00] (Flashback) Mashirou
    I'm Mashirou. I look forward
    to working with you.
[03:05] (Flashback) Noichigo
    Um... I'm Noichigo Kaju.
[03:07] (Flashback) Noichigo
    Nice to meet you, Mashirou.
SIGN    Happy Happy Shopping District
[03:18] (Flashback) Noichigo
    Wanna have milk when we
    get home? Your favorite.
[03:21] (Flashback) Mashirou
    Yeah.
[03:22] (Flashback) Noichigo
    Extra rich!
[03:23] Mashirou
    I never said anything
    about liking it, though.
[03:32] (Flashback) Chrome
    Suffer inconvenience!
[03:34] (Flashback) Chrome
    Suffer inconvenience!
SIGN    Sus...
[03:36] Chrome
    Suffer inconvenience! Suffer
    inconvenience! Suffer inconvenience!
[03:40] (Flashback) Mashirou
    Chrome?
[03:42] (Flashback) Mashirou
    It's him! He's the mastermind!
[03:44] (Flashback) Mashirou
    Of the evil organization Fossa Magna!
[03:47] (Flashback) Mashirou
    Hurry! Transform, quick!
[03:50] (Flashback) Noichigo
    B-But I'm not ready!
[03:59] (Flashback) Mashirou
    Not bad.
[04:00] (Flashback) Noichigo
    Stop right there!
[04:02] (Flashback) Noichigo
    Fossa Magna!
[04:04] (Flashback) Mashirou
    And who are you?
[04:08] (Flashback) Noichigo
    Wh-Who am I? Um...
[04:11] Noichigo
    Noichigo Kaju...
[04:12] Noichigo
    is my real name, so...
[04:14] Noichigo
    My name... I'm...
[04:16] (Flashback) Noichigo
    A hero of justice.
[04:18] (Flashback) Noichigo
    I'm a hero of justice.
[04:22] (Flashback) Noichigo
    My name is tentatively Berry Blossom!
SIGN    Berry Blossom
    is sooo cool!!
SIGN    HOOOOOONK
SIGN    Struck Oil
SIGN    She's eating crab...
SIGN    Coo Coo
SIGN    Phew
SIGN    I made hayashi rice!!
SIGN    You're eating it?!
[05:58] Noichigo
    Berry Blossom!
[06:00] Chizuko
    Berry!
SIGN    Submitted by
     Mashirou-san
[06:01] Chizuko
    Berry! Berry! Berry!
[06:03] Chizuko
    No Berry, no life!
[06:05] Chrome
    Good morning, Date Chizuko.
SIGN    Seriously?
[06:07] Chizuko
    "Good morning"? It's past noon already.
[06:09] Chrome
    I am unburdened by the need
    to maintain a sleep schedule.
[06:12] Chrome
    For I am evil.
[06:14] Chizuko
    I'm Date Chizuko.
[06:15] Chizuko
    Stuff happened, and now I'm an evil general.
SIGN    Submitted by
     Mashirou-san
[06:20] Chizuko
    All to give my favorite
    girl a chance to shine.
SIGN    #5 "Ominous Unknowns"
[06:29] Chrome
    The weather in this town is treacherous.
[06:31] Chrome
    However, such weather means...
[06:37] Chrome
    I can do that thing where I emerge
    from dark, ominous clouds!
[06:40] Chrome
    It's great.
SIGN    Hmph.
[06:42] Chrome
    It's #1 on the Things To Do
    When You Turn Evil rankings.
SIGN    According to what research?
[06:45] Chrome
    I wish to teach you, my new
    general, the joys of it.
[06:48] Chizuko
    N-No thanks.
[06:49] Chrome
    It's settled! Let us get dressed!
[06:56] Chrome
    I see... It's the end of the month...
[06:58] Chrome
    I've been put on low-speed mode.
[07:00] Chrome
    I've used my magic a lot this month.
SIGN    Refill
SIGN    Senguin
[07:06] Chizuko
    I think you should drop the whole
    "from dark, ominous clouds" thing.
[07:11] Chrome
    What fortuitous timing, Grandpa!
[07:13] Grandpa
    Grandpa here.
[07:14] Chrome
    Gimme a ride, Grandpa!
[07:16] Grandpa
    Sure thing.
[07:17] Chizuko
    I never said you could
    boss my grandpa around!
[07:20] Grandpa
    My beloved truck!
[07:22] Chizuko
    I'll stay home. It's a two-seater anyway.
[07:26] Chrome
    Hold it! It's all right!
[07:28] Chrome
    I'll take the cargo bed if I have to!
[07:30] Chizuko
    You're so persistent!
SIGN    Cargo
[07:32] Chizuko
    You're not supposed to be on the cargo bed
    unless you're there to watch the cargo.
SIGN    Liability
[07:36] Chrome
    Liability...
[07:39] Chrome
    Good.
[07:41] Chizuko
    We're driving around like this?
[07:43] Chrome
    Help me pack them, Date Chizuko!
[07:46] Chizuko
    It's so light!
[07:47] Chizuko
    What's wrong with these Kuma Kaijins?
[07:49] Chizuko
    They're so light and pale.
[07:51] Chrome
    Nay! We need only fool the eye for now!
[07:55] Chizuko
    And this is how people lose their humanity.
[08:03] Chrome
    I've never done anything like this.
[08:08] Popo
    You there, kei-truck! Stop!
[08:12] Grandpa
    Wanna lose 'em?
[08:13] Chizuko
    We aren't losing them, Grandpa!
[08:20] Popo
    Sorry I had to stop you.
[08:23] Chrome
    N-Not at all.
SIGN    N Prefecture Police
[08:25] Popo
    I happened to see you in the back there.
[08:30] Popo
    That's pretty dangerous, you see.
[08:32] Popo
    We'd prefer if you didn't do that.
[08:37] Popo
    Are you holding an event? A festival?
[08:39] Chrome
    Uh, yeah. Something like that.
[08:41] Popo
    Judging from your outfit,
    it must be a hero show.
[08:45] Chrome
    Well...
[08:46] Chrome
    The magical girl isn't involved this time.
[08:48] Chrome
    It's just us emerging from dark clouds.
[08:50] Popo
    That's rough, working in this awful weather.
[08:52] Popo
    Take care and go get got good.
[08:55] Chrome
    Right...
[09:02] Chizuko
    I can't see him...
[09:03] Chizuko
    But Chrome's super bummed.
[09:07] Chrome
    The officer didn't notice that I'm an
    evil mastermind on a mission of evil.
[09:11] Chrome
    He even worried about me!
[09:13] Chizuko
    Sorry, I can't hear you.
[09:17] Chrome
    Kuma Kaijins!
[09:21] Chrome
    Kuma Kaijins!
[09:23] Chizuko
    Even your voice is empty!
[09:25] Chrome
    Making them lighter backfired!
[09:28] Grandpa
    You're supposed to be watching them!
SIGN    Ouch
[09:40] Noichigo
    A Kaijin!
[09:41] Mashirou
    Is he nearby?
[09:43] Noichigo
    We have to go after it!
[10:01] Noichigo
    I won't allow evil in this town!
[10:04] Noichigo
    Magical Girl Berry Blossom is on the scene!
[10:10] Noichigo
    Catch the evil and a bright future!
[10:12] Mashirou
    Let's go!
[10:13] Noichigo
    Yeah!
[10:14] Chrome
    Emerging from dark clouds without
    the kaijins is going to look stupid.
[10:18] Chizuko
    Dark clouds! Dark clouds!
[10:19] Chizuko
    Let's just get the dark clouds going!
[10:21] Chrome
    Stop rushing me!
[10:32] Noichigo
    I'm ready for you, Fossa Magna!
[10:48] Chrome
    I'm spent...
[10:49] Chizuko
    He's still there.
[10:51] Chrome
    I couldn't emerge from it...
SIGN    Here
[10:54] Chrome
    But I did manage to summon it.
[10:57] Chrome
    All that's left now...
[10:59] Chrome
    is to go home.
[11:01] Chizuko
    Why did we even come here? Seriously.
[11:04] Grandpa
    Oh, let's stop by the supermarket.
[11:06] Grandpa
    I hear tuna spines are on sale today.
[11:14] Noichigo
    It's coming!
[11:16] Noichigo
    It's not coming...
[11:18] Noichigo
    It's coming!
[11:20] Noichigo
    It's not coming...
[11:21] Noichigo
    It's coming!
[11:23] Noichigo
    It's not coming...
SIGN    Low-Speed Mode Disabled
[11:30] Chrome
    Low-speed mode disabled!
[11:33] Chrome
    Any evil deed you name is within
    our capacity now, Date Chizuko...
[11:36] Chrome
    Nay, General Dante!
[11:39] Chizuko
    One second.
[11:40] Chizuko
    I'm soaking this in right now.
SIGN    Always watch television at a good distance and in a well-lit room.
[11:43] Noichigo
    It's over, Evil Mastermind Chrome!
[11:45] Chrome
    Are you watching that again, Date Chizuko?
[11:49] Noichigo
    That's as far as you go, Fossa Magna!
SIGN    Submitted by
     Mashirou-san
[11:57] Chizuko
    It's not what you think!
[11:58] Chizuko
    I mean... it is what you
    think, but it's not!
[12:00] Chizuko
    Does Berry Blossom lose her
    ability to attack with magic
SIGN    Submitted by
     Mashirou-san
[12:03] Chizuko
    whenever she loses her magic wand?
[12:14] Chrome
    You absolute genius!
[12:17] Chrome
    Make haste!
[12:18] Chrome
    Bad things don't come to those who wait!
[12:21] Chrome
    Hear me, Berry Blossom!
[12:24] Chrome
    I am shouting and causing a disturbance
    throughout the neighborhood!
[12:29] Chizuko
    That's a half-assed evil deed.
[12:31] Chizuko
    Is that even going to work?
[12:34] Noichigo
    No shouting for me so loudly!
[12:37] Chizuko
    She's actually coming!
SIGN    Pant Pant Pant
[12:44] Noichigo
    You never came last time!
[12:47] Noichigo
    And now you call for me?!
[12:50] Chrome
    Last time?
[12:51] Chizuko
    Does she mean the dark cloud thing?
[12:53] Chizuko
    I feel so bad.
[12:55] Noichigo
    Just what do you think you're
    doing, Evil Mastermind Chrome?
[12:59] Chrome
    You'll know soon enough.
[13:04] Noichigo
    A trap?
[13:05] Noichigo
    You won't stop me so easily!
[13:07] Chrome
    Now!
[13:11] Chrome
    Kuma Kaijin Mega Spinner!
[13:13] Chrome
    Bearnado!
[13:20] Chizuko
    What am I even being forced to watch?
[13:26] Noichigo
    Wh-Where is it?!
[13:30] Chrome
    Let's bounce!
[13:31] Noichigo
    S-Stop right there!
[13:34] Chrome
    Whee! Whee!
[13:37] Chizuko
    W-Wait...
[13:39] Chrome
    Gotcha!
[13:41] Chizuko
    You need to chill out a little.
[13:46] Chrome
    The wand is now yours, Date Chizuko.
SIGN    Sad...
[14:06] Noichigo
    I'm sorry, Mashirou.
[14:08] Mashirou
    What's done is done.
[14:10] Noichigo
    What do we do?
[14:12] Noichigo
    I can't use magic without it.
[14:15] Noichigo
    I know!
[14:19] Noichigo
    Magical Wands...
SIGN    Magical Wands
[14:22] Mashirou
    Berry, you aren't really going
    to shop online, are you?!
[14:25] Noichigo
    I am.
[14:25] Noichigo
    It's no use, though. They only have toys.
[14:28] Mashirou
    Well, yeah.
[14:30] Mashirou
    I made that thing myself.
    There's no way you'll find—
[14:33] Noichigo
    Found one!
SIGN    Commercial-grade Wand
    
    ° magic power sold separately.
[14:34] Mashirou
    Seriously?!
[14:35] Noichigo
    It says magic power is sold separately.
[14:37] Mashirou
    It's legit!
[14:38] Noichigo
    It'll arrive tomorrow if I order it now.
[14:40] Mashirou
    Wait, wait, wait, wait...
[14:42] Mashirou
    How about no?
[14:43] Mashirou
    I'm really worried about this!
[14:45] Noichigo
    I'm doing it.
[14:46] Noichigo
    I have to protect the people.
[14:48] Noichigo
    I'm a hero of justice, after all.
[14:52] Mashirou
    Berry...
SIGN    Click
SIGN    Click
SIGN    Click
SIGN    Click
SIGN    Click
[14:56] Mashirou
    She's buying a boatload...
[14:59] Chrome
    Return the wand?!
[15:01] Chrome
    Are you out of your mind, Date Chizuko?
[15:03] Chizuko
    I want to keep it, too.
[15:05] Chizuko
    Like, I seriously want it. A lot.
[15:07] Chrome
    Then...
[15:08] Chizuko
    But this isn't it.
[15:09] Chizuko
    I don't want something we took by force.
[15:12] Chizuko
    I'm serious.
[15:15] Chizuko
    You're more used to attacking
    head-on, too, aren't you?
[15:33] Chrome
    Test, test...
[15:34] Chrome
    Hear me, Berry Blossom!
[15:36] Chrome
    I am shouting and causing etc. etc.!
[15:43] Chrome
    Well met, Berry Blossom.
[15:46] Chrome
    That was quite the miserable
    display the other day.
[15:48] Chrome
    I sympathize with your having to come out
    unarmed, but I have business with...
[16:12] Noichigo
    Commercial-Grade Thunderbolt Bloom!
[16:27] Noichigo
    I wonder why they gave it back...
[16:29] Mashirou
    So what are we doing with all these?
[16:33] Noichigo
    I still prefer the one I'm used to.
[16:35] Noichigo
    Let's keep some for backup
    and sell the rest.
[16:37] Mashirou
    Fine, fine...
SIGN    Clickity Clickity
SIGN    A Few Days Later
[16:40] Delivery
    Delivery.
[16:48] Chizuko
    What's that?
[16:52] Chrome
    Ah.
[16:53] Chizuko
    I-It's only been used once!
[16:56] Chizuko
    And it was up for sale! It's fair game!
[16:58] Chrome
    I didn't say anything.
[17:09] Chizuko
    This one?
[17:12] Chizuko
    This one... Yeah, it works, too.
[17:21] Chrome
    I shall go for a stroll.
[17:27] Chrome
    To leave my underlings to
    have a moment of enjoyment
[17:31] Chrome
    is one of my duties as a leader.
[17:34] Chizuko
    They skimped a bit on the details.
[17:36] Chizuko
    Ooh, there's a nub!
[17:38] Mashirou
    Shoot!
[17:39] Mashirou
    I forgot to bring soy sauce!
[17:41] Mashirou
    I'll go back to get some.
[17:43] Noichigo
    Okay.
[17:43] Mashirou
    Ka-zoom!
[17:47] Chrome
    The heroes of justice...
[17:49] Chrome
    They're totally taking time off!
[17:52] Chrome
    Literally out to lunch.
[17:54] Chrome
    I shall have to mock them.
[17:57] Chrome
    Well? Anything biting?
[17:59] Noichigo
    Oh, here and there.
[18:11] Noichigo
    Got one!
[18:13] Noichigo
    Yay!
[18:15] Noichigo
    I got a pretty big one.
[18:18] Chrome
    Has she not noticed that it's me?!
[18:21] Noichigo
    Is it a rainbow trout?
[18:23] Noichigo
    I heard that when rainbow trout are raised
    in salt water, they're called steelhead trout.
[18:28] Chrome
    She's literally gone fishing!
[18:29] Noichigo
    I was afraid to touch it at
    first, but I'm used to it now!
[18:32] Chrome
    And she keeps talking about
    stuff I never asked about.
[18:35] Noichigo
    Oh, it was that Mashirou guy from
    earlier that taught me how to fish.
[18:39] Chrome
    Mashirou, huh?
[18:41] Chrome
    That sketchy, two-head-tall mystery creature.
[18:44] Noichigo
    Please don't speak ill of Mashirou.
[18:46] Noichigo
    He's given me so much.
[18:49] Noichigo
    Just today,
[18:50] Noichigo
    he came up with the idea of
    holding a barbecue to thank me.
[18:54] Mashirou
    Huh? Er...
[18:55] Mashirou
    I don't think that's a barbecue.
[19:00] Mashirou
    It would appear to be more
    of a charcoal stove.
[19:02] Noichigo
    What? Charcoal stove? That sounds scary!
[19:04] Noichigo
    It can't be!
[19:06] Noichigo
    He said...
[19:07] (Flashback) Mashirou
    This is the most popular
    barbecue stove right now.
[19:11] (Flashback) Noichigo
    You're so knowledgeable, Mashirou!
[19:12] Chrome
    That isn't even a very thoughtful lie.
[19:15] Noichigo
    N-No...
[19:19] Chrome
    Pitiful.
[19:20] Chrome
    Should a hero of justice be
    so foolish and gullible?
[19:25] Noichigo
    How do you know about that?
[19:27] Noichigo
    It can't be...
[19:28] Noichigo
    Are you the evil...
[19:30] Noichigo
    mastermind's fellow enemy, who's been watching
    the viewer submissions of my battles?
[19:33] Chrome
    Wrong!
[19:34] Chrome
    She keeps going off on her fantasies!
SIGN    Whoa!
[19:35] Noichigo
    Mashirou submits those videos,
    so I don't know much about them, but...
[19:36] Chrome
    I'm not gonna tell her
    until she figures it out!
[19:40] Noichigo
    So there are people who watch them!
[19:43] Chrome
    Yeah... Sure.
[19:45] Chrome
    There's one person who
    watches you zealously.
[19:47] Chizuko
    Wow, it's heavy!
[19:49] Chizuko
    Berry's so strong! Even her braids are strong!
SIGN    Teehee
[19:53] Noichigo
    That makes me so happy.
[19:55] Noichigo
    I've never gotten to talk to a fan before.
[19:58] Chrome
    No, I'm not talking about me.
[19:59] Noichigo
    I know!
[20:00] Noichigo
    As a token of our new friendship...
[20:02] Noichigo
    Please have this fish I just caught!
SIGN    Slimy...
[20:05] Chrome
    No, thank you!
[20:06] Chrome
    Well, I don't want it, but Date Chizuko...
[20:10] Chrome
    She might lose her head.
[20:19] Mashirou
    Chrome!
[20:20] Chrome
    Don't say it!
[20:22] Mashirou
    What do you think you're doing to Berry?!
[20:27] Chrome
    Farewell, heroes of justice!
[20:29] Chrome
    The fish is mine!
[20:32] Mashirou
    Give it back, fool!
[20:33] Mashirou
    Our fish!
[20:35] Noichigo
    Chrome...
[20:36] Noichigo
    He knew I was Berry Blossom.
[20:39] Noichigo
    Why did he make idle conversation with me?
[20:42] Noichigo
    It can't be...
[20:43] Noichigo
    When he left me on edge wondering if
    he was coming out of the dark cloud...
[20:47] Noichigo
    When he gave me back my wand...
[20:50] (Flashback) Chrome
    There's one person who
    watches you zealously.
[20:54] Noichigo
    Was it all because...
[20:56] Noichigo
    He's my fan?!
[20:57] Mashirou
    Are you safe, Berry?!
[20:59] Noichigo
    No way...
[20:59] Noichigo
    The evil mastermind?!
[21:01] Mashirou
    Are you sure you're all right, Berry?!
[21:10] Noichigo
    Maybe I should have given him a bigger fish.
[21:15] Mashirou
    How are you such a people-pleaser?
[21:31] Chrome
    Date Chizuko, I come bearing a gift
    that you will surely appreciate.
[21:35] Chizuko
    Chrome? What is it?
[21:37] Mashirou
    Fishy-fish!
[21:38] Chizuko
    Raw fish?!
[21:42] Chizuko
    I don't know what to do with this...
[21:44] Chizuko
    What were you doing?
[21:47] Chrome
    Well...
[21:49] Chrome
    I don't want you to become
    envious, so I won't tell you.
[21:52] Chizuko
    Say what? Wait!
[21:54] Chizuko
    No, come on!
[21:57] Fish
    'Sup?
[22:02] Chizuko
    What am I supposed to do with this?!
SIGN    #6 "Hocus de Lawless"
[23:35] Chizuko
    Episode 6: "Hocus de Lawless."