E1 - Darlin' from hell
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Koyuki
A rainy morning with
umbrellas out everywhere...
[00:03] Koyuki
It's the perfect kind of day
to focus on studying.
[00:06] Teacher
Hanadori?
[00:08] Teacher
Hey, Hanadori!
[00:09] Teacher
Is he absent today?
[00:11] Koyuki
Lucky me!
[00:12] Koyuki
Except...
[00:14] Hanadori
Sorry I'm so late.
[00:18] Hanadori
This little guy cried and
begged to come with me.
[00:21] Hanadori
He says we share a strong
bond from a past life...
[00:25] Hanadori
Whatever that means.
[00:27] Koyuki
If only Hanadori-kun hadn't reawakened...
SIGN A Destructive God Sits Next to Me
SIGN Delusion 1
[02:00] Hanadori
He was a ferocious foe, indeed,
[02:03] Hanadori
but now I remember...
[02:05] Hanadori
He was my constant companion
during countless wars.
[02:08] Hanadori
The hound of hell... Cerberus!
[02:11] Koyuki
Here we go again...
[02:13] Koyuki
Don't give a little puppy a name like that!
[02:16] Hanadori
As Sturmhut, the knight who
rules over light and darkness,
[02:20] Hanadori
I've reincarnated across many lives.
[02:22] Hanadori
And amidst my battles, I learned of a gate
to the demon world that lies in this town.
[02:27] Hanadori
Should that gate open,
[02:27] Koyuki
This is Hanadori Kabuto,
a student of Class 2-3 at Mitoya High.
[02:28] ---
this world will become a living hell.
[02:30] ---
Though I fought and failed to stop the demons...
[02:32] Koyuki
He started acting this way in middle school
[02:35] ---
and never grew out of it.
[02:37] Koyuki
But... why is he all wet?
[02:41] Hanadori
That's when the guardian hound of hell,
Cerberus, appeared and saved me!
[02:45] Hanadori
But why?!
[02:46] Hanadori
I couldn't believe it, because...
[02:54] Hanadori
Because he and I were originally enemies.
[02:58] Koyuki
You ruined it!
[02:59] ---
You can't fix it now, Hanadori-kun!
[03:01] Koyuki
If you're cold, go change!
[03:01] Teacher
Where did you get that dog, Hanadori?
[03:03] Koyuki
And didn't you call him your companion?
So is he a friend or an enemy?
[03:05] Hanadori
I told you! I knew him in a past life!
[03:06] ---
At least keep your own fantasy straight!
[03:08] Teacher
Go put the dog back where you found it.
[03:12] Hanadori
You want me to leave him out in the cold?
[03:14] Hanadori
Are you evil incarnate?!
[03:16] Teacher
Are you going to keep him, then?
[03:18] Tsukimiya
Hanadori's apartment complex
doesn't allow pets.
[03:22] Hanadori
My current dwelling is blessed by the light.
[03:25] Hanadori
Cerberus couldn't take it.
[03:27] Koyuki
So the knight of light and darkness
lives in an apartment.
[03:30] Koyuki
Same as me.
[03:31] Teacher
I'll put the dog back.
[03:34] ---
You go get changed.
[03:35] Hanadori
N-No!
[03:36] Koyuki
I, Koyuki Seri, am absolutely not
going to respond to any of this crap!
[03:40] Hanadori (Background)
You're Koyuki? The legendary—
[03:41] Koyuki
Or so I said, but with Hanadori-kun
following me around all the time,
[03:43] Hanadori
We were battle brothers—
[03:44] Hanadori
This is the key to break the seal!
[03:44] ---
my grades have tanked
since we became classmates.
[03:45] ---
Why do you have—
[03:47] Koyuki
I just can't concentrate with him around.
[03:49] Hanadori (Foreground)
Wait, Cerberus!
[03:52] Hanadori (Foreground)
No...
[03:54] Koyuki
Class is going to run late again...
[03:56] Hanadori
Is this...
[03:58] ---
Is this a trial the gods have put forth for me,
[04:00] ---
Gestöber?!
[04:03] Koyuki
You've got the wrong guy!
[04:04] Koyuki
Who the heck is Gestöber?
[04:05] ---
Not me! Never heard of him!
[04:07] Hanadori
I have to go save Cerberus...
[04:09] Koyuki
Then go by yourself!
[04:10] Koyuki
What do you need me for?
[04:11] Koyuki
Have fun on your grand adventure, Mr. Knight!
[04:14] Hanadori
Have you forgotten?!
[04:15] Hanadori
You're the emissary of Nirvana, Gest—
[04:17] Koyuki
Nice weather we're having, huh?
[04:19] Female Student
Yeah, except it's raining...
[04:21] Tsukimiya
Aw, poor Hanadori.
[04:23] ---
He went to all the trouble
of dumping water on himself
[04:26] ---
so he could pretend to be a hero
who saved a dog from the rain.
[04:29] Koyuki
What were you thinking, Hanadori-kun?!
[04:31] Tsukimiya
But nobody cared and the dog was taken away,
[04:34] Tsukimiya
so now he's sopping wet and all alone.
[04:36] Tsukimiya
It's so sad.
[04:37] Koyuki
Hey, knock it off!
[04:38] Koyuki
You're really making me feel bad for him!
[04:40] Koyuki
I'll be ashamed to look back on this later...
[04:43] Koyuki
Granted, he did it to himself.
[04:48] Koyuki
Hanadori-kun, don't tell me...
[04:50] Koyuki
Is your power awakening?!
[04:51] Hanadori
He's... He's coming!
[04:55] Tsukimiya
Hanadori's sorrow from losing
Cerberus has awakened him!
[04:59] Hanadori
It's not just damage from you outing him?
[05:01] Hanadori
Wait, Tsukimiya-kun...
[05:03] ---
Are you just as bad as he is?
[05:08] Hanadori
I am Miguel.
[05:10] ---
Miguel O...
[05:12] Hanadori
O...
[05:12] Tsukimiya
O?
[05:13] Teacher
Okay, guys, knock it off.
[05:16] Teacher
Go change clothes before
you catch a cold, Hanadori.
[05:19] Teacher
Sorry, everyone.
[05:20] Teacher
Let's get back to the lesson.
[05:23] Hanadori
That was close.
[05:25] Hanadori
The power of light was able
to keep Miguel... in check.
[05:28] Hanadori
You should all be grateful you're still alive.
[05:33] Hanadori
Blessings upon all humanity.
[05:36] Koyuki
Whew... Made it through another day!
[05:39] Koyuki
I didn't say a word!
[05:40] Koyuki
Whenever Hanadori-kun's eyepatch comes off,
[05:43] ---
a mysterious character named Miguel awakens.
[05:46] Koyuki
Or so he says...
[05:49] Aizu
What gives, Koyuki?
[05:51] Aizu
Your notes are a mess.
[05:53] Aizu
I wanted to copy them.
[05:54] Koyuki
Shut up.
[05:55] Koyuki
Borrow from someone in your own class.
[05:57] Aizu
Whatever.
[05:58] Aizu
Anyway, get this...
[06:00] Aizu
I'm going to Black Mouse Land soon.
[06:03] Aizu
I mean, I'm a second-year now,
so I'm way past that silly stuff,
[06:08] ---
but she absolutely insisted...
[06:11] Koyuki
You're showing your true colors!
[06:14] Aizu
What's wrong with you?
[06:15] Koyuki
The way you're just waiting
for me to say something!
[06:18] Koyuki
"Who are you going with?!"
"Did you get a girlfriend?!"
[06:21] Koyuki
You're waiting for me to ask,
but I won't do it!
[06:23] Koyuki
You're just going with your grandma again
anyway, aren't you, you granny-lover?!
[06:27] Aizu
I-I am not! And don't call me that!
SIGN Grrr
SIGN Grrr
SIGN Grrr
SIGN Grrr
[06:30] Aizu
What's up with you, Koyuki?
[06:31] Girl
I'm just making things awkward, aren't I?
[06:34] Girl
It'd be better if I wasn't there...
[06:36] Girl
Maybe I'll just quit the club.
[06:39] Koyuki
"That's not true! Don't quit!"
[06:40] Koyuki
Is that what you want us to say?!
[06:42] Aizu
Wh-Why are you hitting me?!
[06:44] Koyuki
You're just taking advantage of the fact that
nobody wants to say, "Yeah, quit already!"
[06:48] ---
That's the problem!
[06:50] Koyuki
I find it incredibly humiliating
to be expected to say something
[06:55] ---
just because someone wants me to!
[06:57] Aizu
I see. Sorry, Koyuki.
[06:59] Aizu
You've always been like that, haven't you?
[07:02] Koyuki
And Hanadori-kun's the
absolute worst about that.
[07:05] Koyuki
I can normally ignore drivel like that,
[07:07] ---
but he can't even keep
his fake stories straight.
[07:09] ---
I'm always on the verge of screaming.
[07:11] Koyuki
Maybe he can tell.
[07:12] ---
It feels like he's just dying
for me to say something.
[07:15] Koyuki
I refuse, though! I won't say a word.
[07:17] Koyuki
I need to focus on my grades!
I'm down 80 spots in the class ranking!
[07:22] Koyuki
If I say one word about
Hanadori-kun's idiocy, I lose.
[07:24] Koyuki
This is war!
[07:26] Aizu
Koyuki...
[07:27] Koyuki
I'm off to the library.
[07:29] Aizu
He's not trying to force me to say,
[07:32] ---
"You can't focus on studying because
you're obsessed with this," is he?
[07:37] Hanadori
S-Stop it!
SIGN Library
[07:38] Students
Come on, Hanadori-kun.
Show us what's under the eyepatch.
[07:42] Students
What are you hiding?
[07:45] Hanadori
Stop it!
[07:46] Hanadori
If you break the seal...
[07:48] Students
Huh? What are you talking about?
[07:50] Hanadori
Don't touch me!
[07:51] Hanadori
This is the key to the seal of hell...
[07:54] ---
The seal on the dark power that controls all!
[07:57] Hanadori
Not even I know what terrors await.
[08:00] Hanadori
If the dark god of destruction,
[08:02] ---
Miguel Offenbarung Dunkelheit,
takes control of me,
[08:05] Hanadori
he'll wreak a terrible revenge on you!
[08:08] Students
Shut up and take it off already!
[08:09] Koyuki
Hanadori-kun!
[08:11] Koyuki
If you talk like that,
you'll just make things worse.
[08:16] Koyuki
Seriously, what's this guy's deal?
[08:18] Koyuki
Is he on Hanadori-kun's side
or just egging him on?
[08:21] Koyuki
Wait, why's he joining in?!
[08:23] Hanadori
S-Stop it!
[08:23] Koyuki
I need to stop them, but...
[08:26] Students
Got it!
[08:31] Hanadori
It's awakening...
[08:33] ---
The power of hell...
[08:34] ---
The power of darkness...
[08:36] Hanadori
The seal!
[08:39] Hanadori
Get away from me!
[08:43] Koyuki
Now...
[08:44] ---
Now you've done it, Hanadori-kun.
[08:47] Koyuki
The power of hell turned
out to be a physical thing!
[08:49] Koyuki
More importantly,
[08:50] ---
I thought you were just making
all of this up for fun, but...
[08:53] Koyuki
Does this mean you're actually dangerous?
[08:57] Koyuki
Hanadori, you're bleeding!
[09:10] Koyuki
The dark god of destruction
is just a whiny little kid!
[09:15] Koyuki
Don't cry!
[09:17] Hanadori
Do you... finally remember me?
[09:20] Koyuki
You've got the wrong guy.
SIGN R.I.P Koyuki
[09:23] Koyuki
I... I blew it...
SIGN Teachers' Office
[09:26] Koyuki
Man, this sucks.
[09:28] Koyuki
I spoke up, so I lose.
[09:30] Koyuki
And now...
[09:31] ---
I have to stand in the hallway,
because it's somehow my fault, too?
[09:35] Koyuki
This is so wrong.
[09:37] Hanadori
You noticed it, too?
[09:39] Hanadori
The rift to the demon world is
growing larger by the minute.
[09:42] Hanadori
You and I are the only ones who've noticed it.
[09:45] Koyuki
Not what I meant! Please leave me alone!
[09:48] Hanadori
I believe that you're a good person.
[09:52] Hanadori
I know I can entrust him to you.
[09:54] Hanadori
I'd like you to take him.
[09:57] Koyuki
The dog from this morning?
[09:59] Koyuki
He went to find it again?
[10:00] Tsukimiya
Hanadori's apartment complex
doesn't allow pets.
[10:04] Hanadori
Will you keep him safe from this cruel world?
[10:08] Koyuki
It's not like it's the dog's fault...
[10:12] Koyuki
I'll ask my parents,
[10:14] ---
but don't get your hopes up.
[10:16] Koyuki
Also, I have no interest in all that
dark whatsit stuff you keep talking about,
[10:22] Koyuki
so don't get the wrong idea.
[10:24] Koyuki
I've lost today.
[10:26] Koyuki
But...
[10:28] Koyuki
Starting tomorrow,
I'm really going to ignore hi—
[10:30] Hanadori
Thanks, Tsukimiya!
[10:32] Hanadori
You're the only one I can ask.
[10:34] Hanadori
I feel so much better knowing
you're taking him in.
[10:36] Tsukimiya
Are they making you pay for the glass?
[10:39] Tsukimiya
Oh, I didn't see you there, Seri-kun.
[10:43] Hanadori
Tsukimiya!
[10:44] ---
How long have you known he was here?
[10:47] Koyuki
Oh, screw you!
[10:48] Koyuki
You were just talking to me, weren't you?!
[10:51] Hanadori
Nope.
[10:51] Tsukimiya
Did you say something, Seri-kun?
[10:53] Tsukimiya
"Don't get the wrong idea"? Was that it?
SIGN RIP Koyuki
SIGN RIP Koyuki
[10:56] Koyuki
So you did hear me!
[10:59] Tsukimiya
That day...
[11:00] ---
I was subject to humiliation
worse than utter defeat.
SIGN Things I want to forget
[11:04] Teacher
Listen up.
SIGN Summer
break
SIGN Culture
festival
SIGN Class
trip
SIGN Field
day
[11:05] ---
You second-years have a lot
of fun stuff ahead of you.
[11:09] Teacher
But final exams come first!
[11:12] Students
This is homeroom! Let us have fun!
[11:13] Teacher
No whining.
[11:15] Teacher
I'm worried about all of you.
[11:17] Teacher
You kids have the lowest grades
out of any class in your year.
[11:20] Teacher
Some of you are real problem kids, too,
which is getting me in trouble.
[11:24] Students
That's your problem, not ours!
[11:25] Hanadori
Human society is so stupid.
[11:27] Teacher
Don't be dumb. No man is an island.
[11:31] Teacher
On that note, I'm dividing
you into groups of three
SIGN Example
Bear Team
Dog Team
Horse Team
SIGN pts.
[11:34] ---
that average out the grades between you.
SIGN Cat Team
[11:37] Teacher
We're going to play a game in
which your groups will compete
SIGN Hanadori Kabuto
SIGN Tsukimiya Utsugi
SIGN Koyuki Seri
[11:40] ---
to see who can do the most
extra credit assignments!
[11:44] Students
Sensei, I don't think this is allowed
under current education laws!
[11:46] Teacher
We're playing a game in homeroom.
Relax and have fun.
[11:49] Student
What do we get for winning?
[11:51] Teacher
No summer homework for
any classes you have with me!
[11:53] Student
And what about the losers?
[11:55] Teacher
The last-place team will be in
charge of planning the class trip.
[11:59] Koyuki
Question, Sensei!
[12:00] Teacher
Wh-What is it, Koyuki?
[12:03] Teacher
Did you forget how to ask normally?
[12:05] Koyuki
Why would you put me in a group
[12:07] ---
with those two bozos
when finals are coming up?
[12:10] Teacher
That's rather rude.
SIGN Example
Bear Team
Dog Team
SIGN pts.
[12:11] Teacher
I put a lot of thought into the teams
and balancing your academic skills.
[12:15] Teacher
But you'll have to get along if you
end up in charge of the class trip...
[12:19] Teacher
And you don't seem to have any other friends.
[12:23] Teacher
You don't seem to have any other friends.
[12:24] Koyuki
I don't have many friends.
[12:26] Koyuki
I just wanted to yell,
"Those guys aren't my friends!"
SIGN Library
[12:30] Koyuki
But then I'd be admitting that
I don't have any friends in class,
[12:33] Koyuki
and I'd feel lonely.
[12:35] Koyuki
It's infuriating,
[12:36] ---
but right now, I miss that
jerk in the next class over.
[12:39] Tsukimiya
Okay, let's get to work!
[12:42] Koyuki
My ears! My ears!
[12:45] Koyuki
He looks so happy screwing with me.
[12:47] Koyuki
Tsukimiya Utsugi...
[12:49] Koyuki
The test is during our next homeroom.
[12:53] Koyuki
I sure as hell don't want to plan
the class trip with those two.
[12:56] Koyuki
I need to get us a good score...
[12:58] Hanadori
A test, huh?
[13:00] Librarian
Hey, get down!
[13:02] Hanadori
Compared to the tests of hell
Sturmhut has faced...
[13:06] Koyuki
The hell's he doing?
[13:07] Hanadori
Gestöber,
[13:08] ---
there is nothing we cannot
overcome togethe—
[13:12] Koyuki
You're not in preschool!
[13:15] Girls
They're so loud...
[13:18] Girls
Just ignore them.
[13:19] Girls
If they get last place,
it means less work for us.
[13:20] Koyuki
Damn it.
[13:22] Koyuki
I want to ignore them,
[13:23] ---
but I need them to get serious about studying.
[13:25] Hanadori
Owie...
[13:26] Koyuki
This leaves me no choice.
SIGN Gasp...
[13:31] Koyuki
Don't be creepy!
SIGN Math
[13:33] Koyuki
Okay, let's start with math.
[13:36] Koyuki
I'm bad at the stuff that's on this test.
[13:38] Tsukimiya
Hanadori, can you figure out this problem?
[13:41] Tsukimiya
You use theta here, and then...
[13:43] Tsukimiya
You do this...
[13:45] Hanadori
Ah, I see.
SIGN Math
Question 1
[13:47] Koyuki
What are you doing?
[13:48] Koyuki
Stop playing with the variables!
This is math!
[13:51] Koyuki
And why are you nodding?!
[13:53] Koyuki
Take this seriously!
[13:56] Koyuki
Sheesh...
[13:56] ---
You guys have no idea how I feel.
[13:59] Koyuki
Actually, I wonder what their grades are like...
[14:02] Hanadori
Okay, I'm all done.
[14:04] Hanadori
The man who's traveled the seven seas,
[14:06] ---
the valiant warrior himself...
[14:08] Hanadori
The one they call a legend...
SIGN The Adventures of Menukoroirya, Ruler of the Darkness
[14:10] Hanadori
The hero Menukoroirya.
[14:16] Koyuki
Don't get attached and give it a name!
[14:18] ---
Study!
[14:20] Koyuki
That's what kids do when they'd
rather goof off than study!
[14:23] Koyuki
You don't have time for adventures!
[14:24] Koyuki
Battle the enemy you're
facing right now, damn it!
[14:28] Koyuki
I'm already exhausted.
[14:30] Koyuki
Let's move on to history.
SIGN History A
[14:34] Koyuki
Hanadori-kun is actually focusing now.
[14:36] ---
Good.
[14:37] Hanadori
Tsukimiya,
[14:38] ---
do you know a good way to
remember major historical figures?
[14:41] Hanadori
It's hard when they all have such stupid names.
[14:43] Koyuki
You've got no room to talk.
[14:46] Tsukimiya
Why not do what you're best at?
[14:49] Hanadori
What I'm best at?
[14:50] Tsukimiya
Sure.
[14:51] ---
For example, say they were once your friends.
[14:54] Tsukimiya
This man, the founder of the Edo shogunate,
[14:57] Tsukimiya
could have been one of
Sturmhut's comrades in a past life!
[15:00] Tsukimiya
Make up something like that
so it means something to you.
[15:03] Koyuki
Huh... That might actually be a good idea.
[15:06] Koyuki
It could work for him.
[15:08] Hanadori
That's right...
[15:09] Hanadori
My past memories are returning!
[15:11] Hanadori
I crossed swords with him on the battlefield.
[15:14] Hanadori
He's...
SIGN Answer: Menukoroirya Hankallamaliru Maihaixlyulia
[15:16] Koyuki
No, he's not!
SIGN Menukoroirya Hankallamaliru Maihaixlyulia
[15:18] Koyuki
That's the stupid little bird
you just came up with!
[15:21] Koyuki
And jeez, how many letters are in that name?
[15:23] Koyuki
It's way too long.
[15:24] Hanadori
So it was you...
[15:26] Hanadori
I'll never forget you again!
[15:28] Koyuki
Forget him right now!
SIGN Exhaustion
SIGN Home Economics
[15:31] Koyuki
Home ec, huh?
[15:33] Koyuki
We're supposed to learn the nine
essential amino acids.
[15:36] Koyuki
I wonder if Tsukimiya-kun's good at studying.
[15:39] Koyuki
I hate to ask, but if he knows
a good way to memorize things...
[15:42] Koyuki
Here you go.
SIGN Home Ec Notes
Utsugi Tsukimiya
[15:43] Koyuki
This is my memorization notebook. Use it.
[15:46] ---
Th-Thanks.
[15:47] Tsukimiya
He knew what I was thinking, huh?
[15:49] Tsukimiya
Well, okay, since he—
[15:50] ---
Excuse me?
[15:52] Tsukimiya
This isn't about essential amino acids...
[15:55] Tsukimiya
Am I supposed to learn them through manga?
[15:57] Tsukimiya
Wait, did Tsukimiya-kun draw this?!
[15:59] Girl
For Amino-san's sake,
[16:01] ---
I would let the world be destroyed!
[16:03] Bad Guy
Is Amino-san that essential?
[16:06] Girl
M-My body can't create Amino-san on its own!
[16:11] ---
So...
[16:12] Girl
I'm going to absorb him!
[16:14] Bad Guy
No! Never!
[16:14] Girl
Eek!
[16:16] Girl
No!
[16:17] ---
If you do that... If you do that, then...
[16:20] Girl
My phenylalanine will valine,
[16:23] Girl
and I'll tryptophan!
[16:29] Koyuki
Damn it all!
[16:31] Koyuki
You two are so stupid!
[16:32] Koyuki
Forget this!
[16:33] ---
I'll do it on my own!
[16:35] Tsukimiya
I've got one for the periodic table, too.
[16:37] Tsukimiya
Want to see?
[16:38] Koyuki
No!
[16:39] Tsukimiya
Transform! Helium! Lithium! Barium!
[16:41] Koyuki
Calm down. Calm down, Koyuki Seri.
[16:44] Koyuki
These two are just that type.
[16:45] Koyuki
They goof around to get their minds
off of the test and end up crashing.
[16:49] Koyuki
I'm different.
[16:50] Koyuki
I want to concentrate on studying.
[16:52] Koyuki
If I don't work hard and raise
our average score...
SIGN Special Moves
SIGN Menukoroirya
SIGN Leaving on a journey
SIGN Slice
SIGN Slash
SIGN Chicken Blade
SIGN Thigh Slice
[16:56] Koyuki
Yes, yes. Very cute.
[16:58] Koyuki
I'm giving up on him.
[17:00] Koyuki
What about Tsukimiya-kun?
[17:02] Tsukimiya
Man, I'm bored.
[17:03] Koyuki
Then study!
[17:04] Tsukimiya
I mean, I've already learned
everything that'll be on the test.
[17:09] Koyuki
In what fantasy world can you do that?!
SIGN Home Economics
[17:11] Koyuki
He can't be serious!
[17:12] Koyuki
There's so much material!
[17:13] Koyuki
He couldn't have—
[17:14] Tsukimiya
Listen, Seri-kun.
[17:16] Tsukimiya
If I read a book once, that's enough
for me to say I've learned it.
[17:19] Tsukimiya
Don't you think you're wasting your life
[17:21] ---
poring over books instead of spending
your time on the hobbies you love?
SIGN Snap
[17:27] Koyuki
And whose fault is it that I'm wasting my life?!
[17:29] Tsukimiya
So you see...
[17:31] Tsukimiya
I can't get my score any higher,
[17:33] Tsukimiya
so it's up to the two of you
below me to raise our average.
[17:36] Tsukimiya
Okay?
[17:40] Tsukimiya
Seri-kun blew up!
[17:42] Hanadori
Gestöber, what was that technique?!
[17:44] Koyuki
Today, something within me burst.
[17:47] Koyuki
Forget it! Time for some escapism of my own!
[17:49] Koyuki
I reject you both!
[17:52] Koyuki
Commoner's Village is so fun...
[17:54] Koyuki**
You make your own town
[17:56] ---
and spend your days taking it easy,
fishing and picking fruit with your friends.
[18:02] Koyuki
This is my idea of paradise.
[18:04] Koyuki
My character in the game is the real me,
[18:07] Koyuki
and the suffering I'm experiencing
right now is just a bad dream.
SIGN Message sent!
SIGN You've invited a friend to Koyuki Village.
[18:13] Tsukimiya
Hey, Seri-kun!
[18:15] Koyuki
I knew he'd show up!
[18:17] Koyuki
Go study!
[18:18] Tsukimiya
I love this game so much that
I've learned how to mod it.
SIGN A friend has come to play.
[18:23] Tsukimiya
Oh, looks like someone's here.
SIGN I'll dig holes to the demon world here, too
SIGN My sealed
SIGN power...
[18:32] Koyuki
Don't tell me!
[18:34] Hanadori
I am the dark god of destruction,
[18:36] Koyuki
You're the only one who would
destroy my peaceful in-game life.
[18:36] ---
Miguel Offenbarung Dunkelheit.
[18:40] ---
I will cover this village in dark matter!
[18:41] Koyuki
Catch a clue!
[18:42] Tsukimiya
Hanadori, Seri-kun wants you to catch a clue.
[18:50] Koyuki
That's not what I meant!
[18:52] Koyuki
Get out of my village, both of you!
[18:54] Koyuki
Stop digging holes everywhere!
[18:55] Hanadori
Don't push me!
[18:56] Koyuki
It's weird, though...
[18:58] ---
I thought so before,
[19:00] ---
but it feels like Tsukimiya-kun...
[19:02] Tsukimiya
Yup.
[19:03] ---
I can guess what you're thinking.
[19:05] Koyuki
It feels like you're doing
a lot more than guessing!
[19:08] Koyuki
No, that can't be!
[19:10] Koyuki
That would mean he knows
exactly what bothers me...
[19:13] Koyuki
And he's doing it anyway!
[19:15] Koyuki
Crap...
[19:17] Koyuki
I've gotta hide somewhere
he can't connect to me!
[19:20] Koyuki
What? I can't move...
[19:23] Hanadori
Surprised?
[19:24] Hanadori
Behold the dark god's destructive magic...
[19:27] Hanadori
Paralysis!
[19:28] Koyuki
It's just a snare!
[19:29] Koyuki
Ow, ow, ow! Let me go!
[19:30] Koyuki
Stop working together!
[19:32] Koyuki
Damn it...
[19:33] Tsukimiya
Seri-kun, sometimes I...
[19:35] Tsukimiya
just don't bother worrying
about what you're thinking!
[19:38] Koyuki
You're a real asshole, aren't you?
[19:39] Hanadori
I'll hide somewhere in your village.
[19:42] Hanadori
Come find me after I count to ten!
[19:44] Hanadori
One, two, three...
[19:50] Hanadori
G-Gestöber?
[19:52] Koyuki
I'll destroy his data!
[19:54] Hanadori
No, Gestöber!
[19:56] Hanadori
Please, no!
[19:58] Hanadori
I worked so hard to get this far!
SIGN Bye!
SIGN Come by again
on our next break!
[20:07] (Flashback) Hanadori
Tsukimiya...
[20:11] (Flashback) Hanadori
I want to play a game with Gestöber!
SIGN Earn the Muney Money
Handheld: 20,000 yen
"Commoner's Village" game: 5,000 yen
Roughly 25,000 yen
SIGN Supermarket
Smile Store
[20:26] Hanadori
Yes!
SIGN Pay for the month of June
[20:28] ---
Now I can...
[20:29] ---
Now I can play a game with Gestöber!
[20:33] Koyuki
Hanadori-kun...
[20:34] ---
You wanted to play with me that badly?
[20:37] Hanadori
G-Gestöber!
[20:38] ---
N-No, it wasn't anything special...
[20:40] Koyuki
I'm sorry for everything, Hanadori-kun...
[20:42] Koyuki
No, Sturmhut!
[20:45] Koyuki
I'll never let you be alone again.
[20:47] Koyuki
As Gestöber, the Hierophant of Ice,
[20:51] ---
I swear to fight by your side!
[20:53] Koyuki
Thank you, Gestöber!
[20:56] Game
Congratulations! Congratulations!
[20:58] Game
Congratulations!
[20:59] Tsukimiya
That was a great conclusion.
[21:01] Koyuki
Why would you make a
disgusting movie like that?!
[21:04] Tsukimiya
I'm the one who made it.
[21:05] Koyuki
What was with that flashback?
[21:07] Koyuki
Why did it feel like scenes from Slam Dunk?!
[21:09] Koyuki
The dark god of destruction shouldn't
be working part-time jobs!
[21:14] Teacher
I'll be taking those.
SIGN RIP Koyuki
SIGN RIP Koyuki
SIGN RIP Koyuki
[21:19] Teacher
Okay, I'm returning your tests.
SIGN Seri Koyuki
[21:22] Koyuki
All right! I got a higher score than usual!
[21:25] Koyuki
As long as those two didn't screw it up,
we shouldn't be in last place.
[21:28] Tsukimiya
I got the same score I always do.
[21:30] Hanadori
Mine's...
[21:31] ---
lower than usual.
[21:33] Hanadori
The dark spirits distracted me...
[21:35] Hanadori
I'm sorry. I only got an 85!
[21:38] Teacher
Oh, Koyuki.
[21:40] ---
Lucky you. You don't have
to plan the class trip.
[21:43] Teacher
Frankly, Tsukimiya and Hanadori
always get top marks,
[21:46] Teacher
so I was hoping they could
give you a bit of a boost.
[21:49] Teacher
Guess my plan was a success, huh?
[21:50] Koyuki
I got... the lowest score?
[21:54] Teacher
Koyuki?
[21:56] Koyuki
Impossible!
SIGN Rip
[21:57] Hanadori
This is my fault!
[21:59] Hanadori
You worked so hard, but I...
[22:02] Koyuki
Don't try to make me feel better!
[22:06] Tsukimiya
Seri-kun,
[22:07] ---
scary things can happen when
you underestimate people.
SIGN RIP Koyuki
SIGN RIP Koyuki
SIGN RIP Koyuki
SIGN RIP Koyuki
[22:11] Koyuki
Today, Koyuki Seri suffered
an unthinkable defeat.
[23:25] Hanadori
Next time on A Destructive
God Sits Next to Me, episode 2:
[23:27] Hanadori
"Eyes On Me!"
[23:29] Koyuki
Hey, we get fifteen seconds for a preview!
[23:31] Koyuki
Plug the show!
[23:32] Hanadori
Wh-What?
[23:35] Hanadori
Miguel, the dark god of destruction,
has taken over this anime!
[23:38] Koyuki
Couldn't think of anything to say, huh?
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