E22 - The Duke, Alice, and the Flying Broom

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Narrator
    Can you imagine a life where you
    can't even touch the person you love?
[00:09] Narrator
    The curse the witch laid upon him caused
    him to take the lives of any he touched.
[00:14] Narrator
    His own mother distanced herself from him,
    his friends called him a monster...
[00:19] Narrator
    Even people he'd never met spoke of him as
[00:20] Narrator
    "death incarnate that dwells in the forest."
[00:24] Narrator
    And yet, he doesn't feel
    the least bit lonely.
[00:32] Zain
    I love boobs. All types of boobs.
[00:36] Zain
    But what is it about thighs you like?
[00:41] Duke
    What's it to you?
[00:42] Duke
    And it's rude to women to
    discuss things like that.
[00:45] Duke
    B-But if you insist...
[00:48] Duke
    If the world ever ends, I want to meet
    my death with my head on Alice's thighs.
[00:54] Duke
    Obviously this assumes the curse is broken.
[00:56] Zain
    What's your favorite part of a girl, Rob?
[00:58] Rob
    Well...
[01:00] Rob
    I love their smiles.
[01:03] Zain
    That's not fair.
[01:05] Duke
    That's not fair at all, Rob!
SIGN    Episode 22
    The Duke, Alice, and the Flying Broom
[02:42] Duke
    It's easy to see the pictures
    when the book's this big!
[02:50] Duke
    There's nobody around, so it's okay, right?
[02:55] Duke
    A witch?
[02:56] Duke
    Wait, no, Alice!
[02:58] Duke
    Why are you coming in through the window?
[02:59] Duke
    This is the third floor!
[03:00] Alice
    Your Grace, were you looking
    at something naughty?
[03:04] Duke
    I d-don't know what you're talking about.
[03:05] Alice
    I could see what you were up to, Your Grace.
[03:08] Alice
    I'm sorry to startle you.
[03:11] Duke
    Everything you do makes my heart race.
[03:15] Alice
    I wanted to see your cute face...
[03:19] Duke
    So how'd you get in from
    the 3rd floor window?
[03:22] Alice
    Ta-dah!
[03:23] Alice
    I used a flying broom.
[03:25] Duke
    It just looks like a normal broom to me.
[03:29] Alice
    Keto gave it to me.
[03:32] Alice
    Watch.
[03:35] Duke
    It floats!
[03:36] Alice
    There's a trick to it, but once you
    get the hang of it, it's a lot of fun.
[03:41] Duke
    That's great.
[03:42] Duke
    I want to try it, too.
[03:44] Alice
    Go ahead.
[03:45] Duke
    You want me to ride with you?
[03:51] Duke
    It's floating!
[03:52] Alice
    Let's go out to the hallway.
[04:03] Duke
    Alice's hair smells so good.
[04:08] Duke
    Hey, Rob.
[04:10] Rob
    A broom for two! How romantic!
[04:12] Duke
    For real?
[04:13] Rob
    They're flying?
[04:15] Duke
    Took you long enough!
[04:17] Rob
    Take care!
[04:20] Duke
    A broom for two!
[04:21] Duke
    That sounds so nice.
[04:23] Alice
    I'm turning right.
[04:26] Alice
    I'm accelerating.
[04:29] Duke
    Magic is incredible!
[04:31] Alice
    Yes.
[04:32] Alice
    It's a lot of fun if you can use it.
[04:34] Daleth
    My sister was a magical genius.
[04:39] Duke
    But Sade died.
[04:41] Duke
    And even Daleth doesn't know why.
[04:44] Duke
    If she was alive, she might've broken my curse.
[04:48] Duke
    We might've been able to talk.
[04:49] Duke
    But did she curse Sharon and me?
[04:53] Alice
    Is something wrong, Your Grace?
[04:56] Duke
    O-Oh, you saw me looking at that
    naughty picture. I'm just kind of embarrassed.
[05:01] Alice
    Oh, is that all?
[05:03] Alice
    If you like, I'll show you something
    naughty any time you want.
[05:08] Alice
    Oh, my.
[05:11] Duke
    The two of you don't come
    together that often.
[05:14] Duke
    You've got a lot of stuff with you, too.
[05:16] Duke
    Did you get fired from the circus?
[05:18] Cuff
    Nope. Ringmaster's orders.
[05:21] Zain
    Let us live here for a while.
[05:24] Zain
    Some weirdos came to the
    circus looking for me.
[05:29] Cuff
    A kid and an old lady, supposedly.
[05:32] Cuff
    Hugo says they beat up a bunch of
    the town brats almost instantly.
[05:37] Duke
    Who are they?
[05:39] Zain
    I don't know.
[05:40] Zain
    Somebody who wants me to use
    my time magic, I assume.
[05:44] Zain
    Given what Daleth's been up to,
    they're probably not witches.
[05:48] Zain
    Anyway, I got some time off.
[05:51] Zain
    So let me enjoy it, please.
[05:53] Cuff
    Is it a bother?
[05:55] Duke
    Not at all.
[05:56] Duke
    We're glad to have you!
[05:57] Zain
    Yay!
[05:58] Zain
    I get to sleep over with Alice!
[06:00] Zain
    How exciting!
[06:03] Cuff
    We can have a pillow fight tonight!
[06:05] Duke
    It looked like you just did.
[06:08] Cuff
    The person who has the most fun wins!
[06:10] Duke
    Then you win already!
[06:12] Zain
    Let's do strip rock-paper-scissors
    or the King's Game!
[06:14] Cuff
    Is your mind made of steel?
[06:16] Rob
    Oh, a pillow fight sounds fun!
[06:18] Zain
    Rob, think about your back!
[06:21] Alice
    It'll be fun to have them around.
[06:23] Duke
    Right, Alice?
[06:24] Duke
    I was just thinking the same thing!
[06:26] Zain
    Pervert noble.
[06:27] Duke
    Since you're guests, you can relax.
[06:32] Cuff
    No way!
[06:33] Cuff
    You're letting us stay here, so we'll work!
[06:36] Zain
    She's such a good girl!
[06:39] Cuff
    Let's go, Alice!
[06:40] Cuff
    I can do anything but cleaning,
    cooking, and washing!
[06:42] Alice
    All right.
[06:44] Alice
    I have a maid outfit that might suit you.
[06:47] Alice
    Will you try it on?
[06:48] Cuff
    Please!
[06:49] Zain
    Me too, then!
[06:51] Duke
    Don't try to get between them!
[06:54] Duke
    They have a lot of stuff to talk about.
[06:56] Duke
    Like what happened at the Sabbath and Daleth.
[06:59] Zain
    How far have you gone with Alice?
[07:01] Duke
    I said talk about the Sabbath!
[07:04] Alice
    What do you think?
[07:05] Cuff
    This is strong! I'm invincible now!
[07:09] Alice
    You're so cute!
[07:12] Cuff
    Okay, time to get to work!
[07:14] Cuff
    I'll start by warming up the mansion!
[07:17] Cuff
    Here I go!
[07:22] Ichi
    Looks like this is the spot.
[07:24] Nico
    Yeah.
[07:24] Nico
    There's a witch here.
[07:26] Zain
    Okay, you can have this back.
[07:29] Duke
    The logbook from the family home...
[07:30] Duke
    Thank you.
[07:31] Duke
    You really were able to bring it back.
[07:33] Duke
    Your magic's incredible.
[07:34] Zain
    I kept my promise, okay?
[07:36] Zain
    Even though I forgot about
    it till Daleth reminded me.
[07:39] Duke
    There's something Daleth
    wanted to hide in here.
[07:43] Zain
    Yeah, something about Sade.
[07:46] Duke
    I hope it's a hint to breaking
    Sharon's and my curse...
[07:50] Zain
    So Alice's mom is asleep, right? But is she hot?
[07:55] Duke
    Not telling.
[07:56] Zain
    Why?
[07:57] Zain
    I like older women, too.
[08:00] Duke
    And that's why!
[08:02] Duke
    Here it is.
[08:03] Zain
    What does it say?
[08:04] Zain
    The Master got a visit from
    the nuns, Sade and Daleth.
[08:07] Zain
    This hasn't happened for a while.
[08:10] Zain
    Huh. Is this all?
[08:11] Duke
    Cuff can't read, but you can, huh?
[08:14] Zain
    I guess.
[08:16] Nico
    You're pretty smart for a witch.
[08:18] Duke
    No, it wasn't me who said that!
[08:20] Nico
    Up here.
[08:22] Nico
    Hello. You're Death Incarnate, then?
[08:28] Ichi
    Sorry to interrupt your cleaning.
[08:32] Ichi
    But it's easier to wipe
    down if it's wet, right?
[08:35] Cuff
    Who are you?
[08:40] Nico
    So the time witch is with you, too?
[08:43] Nico
    We were right to try the circus.
[08:46] Nico
    It worked out just like I thought.
[08:47] Zain
    What?
[08:48] Nico
    Time to start by...
[08:50] Duke
    No! If you touch me, you'll die!
[08:55] Nico
    I guess even Death Incarnate can't do it.
[08:57] Duke
    Wh-Why? I know you touched me...
[09:00] Zain
    I can feel magic from him...
[09:05] Cuff
    But you're no witch!
[09:09] Cuff
    Make sure you don't slip, old lady.
[09:12] Alice
    Even at a time like this, she's kind.
[09:15] Cuff
    Who are you?
[09:17] Cuff
    Why are you here?
[09:18] Ichi
    You never shut up, do you?
[09:25] Cuff
    I can't... move.
[09:29] Zain
    They must be wizards, then.
[09:31] Duke
    Wizards?
[09:33] Zain
    Yeah. Humans born with magic.
[09:37] Zain
    This kid's probably...
[09:39] Nico
    Kid? I'm older than you.
[09:47] Zain
    Are you okay, thigh noble?
[09:49] Duke
    Don't call me that!
[09:55] Ichi
    You do stink. Like a witch.
[10:00] Ichi
    Listen well.
[10:01] Ichi
    My name is Ichi.
[10:03] Duke
    Do something, Zain!
[10:06] Zain
    I can't do anything!
[10:12] Nico
    Sorry for getting rough.
[10:14] Nico
    My name is Nico.
[10:16] Nico
    I'm a wizard. A human born
    with magic, like you said.
[10:20] Zain
    And what do you want?
[10:22] Nico
    Don't be so cross.
[10:24] Nico
    I want your help with something.
[10:28] Zain
    Help? No way!
[10:31] Zain
    I can't trust someone who just
    barges in and attacks us!
[10:33] Duke
    Wait!
[10:35] Duke
    Let's talk to him.
[10:36] Duke
    He survived touching me.
[10:42] Nico
    I'm glad you understand.
[10:49] Duke
    You say you have an immortality curse?
[10:52] Nico
    Yeah. I proved it, right?
[10:55] Nico
    I heard you kill anything
    you touch, so I tried it.
[10:59] Nico
    But I guess my curse is stronger.
[11:02] Duke
    Did Sade curse you, too?
[11:04] Nico
    Yeah.
[11:05] Nico
    But I can't break it...
[11:07] Nico
    Even though I killed her!
[11:09] Duke
    You killed Sade?
[11:10] Zain
    Haha! Look at this loser brag!
[11:12] Zain
    "My curse is stronger!" "I killed Sade!"
[11:16] Nico
    I'm telling the truth!
[11:17] Nico
    Respect your elders.
[11:20] Cuff
    You're too close.
[11:22] Cuff
    I don't care if you're a wizard or what.
[11:24] Cuff
    I'll protect Alice.
[11:26] Cuff
    Come and get me!
[11:29] Nico
    A long time ago,
[11:30] Nico
    fifty or so of us wizards lived
    quietly in a small village.
[11:37] Nico
    We kept our distance from
    witches and normal humans.
[11:41] Nico
    But when I was an old man,
    Sade suddenly appeared before me.
[11:46] Nico
    She said that humanity had
    no business using magic.
[11:51] Nico
    She turned me into a child and
    placed this immortality curse on me.
[11:56] Nico
    We decided to watch her.
[12:00] Nico
    And the more we did,
    the more dangerous she looked.
[12:04] Nico
    My friends told me how you were
    cursed when you were little.
[12:09] Nico
    Something had to be done about Sade.
[12:15] Nico
    So we prepared as best we could,
[12:18] Nico
    and set out to kill her.
[12:21] Nico
    She was strong.
[12:24] Nico
    None of our preparations helped.
[12:26] Nico
    No matter what we did,
    she seemed to know in advance.
[12:28] Nico
    She used one powerful spell after another.
[12:35] Nico
    In the end...
[12:39] Nico
    We won through sheer numbers.
[12:41] Nico
    Dozens of my comrades lost their lives,
[12:44] Nico
    but we defeated her.
[12:49] Nico
    Ironically, it was her
    curse that kept me alive.
[12:55] Zain
    Seriously?
[12:56] Nico
    Yes.
[12:57] Nico
    It was the only way to stop her.
[13:00] Zain
    Whatever.
[13:01] Zain
    So what do you want our help with?
[13:04] Nico
    I want to use your time magic
    to go back before I was cursed...
[13:11] Nico
    and kill Sade again.
[13:16] Duke
    Kill her?
[13:18] Duke
    Kill her?
[13:20] Duke
    Kill her?
[13:22] Duke
    Kill her?
[13:24] Duke
    Kill her?
[13:29] Nico
    The only way to be sure to break the curse
    is to kill her before it's even placed.
[13:34] Nico
    I've gathered my comrades.
    We're getting ready.
[13:37] Nico
    How about it?
[13:38] Zain
    It's a rather selfish plan.
[13:40] Zain
    You can't do it without my magic, right?
[13:43] Nico
    And that's why we came to find you.
[13:45] Nico
    We can break his curse and mine.
[13:48] Nico
    Two birds with one stone, right?
[13:49] Zain
    No way.
[13:51] Zain
    I only care about breaking my buddy's curse.
[13:54] Zain
    I've got no reason to help you.
[13:59] Nico
    Sade's strong.
[14:00] Nico
    Objectively speaking, it's impossible
    for you to beat her alone.
[14:07] Nico
    I've done my research.
[14:10] Nico
    Zain, you have talent, but you
     don't know how to use it.
[14:14] Nico
    You can't bring out your full potential.
[14:15] Zain
    What?
[14:16] Nico
    You know this too, right?
[14:18] Nico
    There's a lot of waste in your magic.
[14:21] Nico
    You just make up for it
    with your immense power.
[14:24] Nico
    And you need to focus a lot
    to use your time magic, too.
[14:29] Nico
    But if you study at our
    wizardry school, you'll get better.
[14:35] Duke
    Wizardry school?
[14:36] Nico
    Yes.
[14:37] Nico
    Of course, you're welcome, too.
[14:39] Nico
    You can learn to use a
    magic weapon, at least.
[14:42] Zain
    No way!
[14:43] Zain
    A witch can't learn magic from a human!
[14:46] Zain
    I'm not working with you! Ever!
[14:49] Nico
    It's a co-ed school.
[14:52] Nico
    I brought a girl with me.
[14:53] Nico
    Want me to introduce you?
[14:54] Zain
    Seriously?
[14:56] Cuff
    Why?
[14:58] Cuff
    Why am I so weak to your magic?
[15:00] Ichi
    You're so stupid, girl.
[15:02] Ichi
    It's because water beats fire.
[15:05] Cuff
    I refuse to accept this!
[15:06] Cuff
    Once more!
[15:07] Alice
    Cuff, you shouldn't force
    yourself to fight.
[15:10] Cuff
    I'm sorry, Alice.
[15:11] Cuff
    I'm so weak...
[15:13] Cuff
    I can't protect anyone like this.
[15:17] Ichi
    I went too far. I just wanted
    to test your strength.
[15:21] Ichi
    I'm sorry for starting a fight.
[15:25] Ichi
    Do you want to be stronger?
[15:28] Cuff
    I do!
[15:32] Ichi
    Come to our school,
[15:34] Ichi
    and I'll make sure you get stronger.
[15:35] Cuff
    School?
[15:36] Nico
    Ichi!
[15:38] Zain
    Huh? Where's the girl?
[15:40] Zain
    Ooh, nice and naughty!
[15:46] Zain
    Sorry. I was joking.
[15:50] Nico
    I'll introduce you.
[15:51] Nico
    This is Ichi, my lover.
[15:58] Zain
    You tricked me!
[16:00] Zain
    That's no girl!
[16:02] Nico
    She's beautiful!
[16:04] Zain
    Like hell she is!
[16:05] Zain
    I wanted to see a girl!
[16:08] Zain
    A girl!
[16:09] Zain
    Girl!
[16:10] Ichi
    Every woman is a girl at heart, fool!
[16:13] Duke
    Are you two okay?
[16:15] Alice
    We just got splashed with water.
[16:17] Cuff
    It'll dry quick.
[16:20] Zain
    Oh, damn it!
[16:22] Zain
    You lied to me about there being a girl here!
[16:25] Zain
    And you were mean to my Cuff, too!
[16:28] Ichi
    I was not.
[16:30] Cuff
    Zain, it's okay.
[16:32] Cuff
    Listen to me.
[16:33] Nico
    I'm not lying.
[16:35] Nico
    There are female students at our school.
[16:38] Zain
    And they're all old ladies, right?
[16:40] Cuff
    Zain, just listen to me!
[16:43] Duke
    No fighting!
[16:45] Nico
    We'll be going.
[16:49] Nico
    I'm sure you'll come to the wizardry school.
[16:53] Nico
    I didn't say I was coming here.
     I wonder if Flea's mad.
[17:03] Flea
    I'm happy you chose to rely on me, Flea!
[17:06] Flea
    Brother Nico, Sister Ichi!
[17:08] Duke
    Another weirdo!
[17:10] Alice
    He seems like he was in a hurry.
[17:13] Flea
    Brother Nico, I've prepared a carriage!
[17:16] Flea
    Get aboard!
[17:22] Duke
    He transformed!
[17:24] Nico
    I know how hard it is to be cursed.
[17:26] Nico
    Let's beat Sade and break the curse.
[17:31] Nico
    I'll see you at school.
[17:32] Nico
    Invite a girl you like.
[17:35] Duke
    Wait!
[17:36] Duke
    I want to talk to you!
[17:38] Alice
    Your Grace!
[17:50] Nico
    What? You still want to talk?
[17:51] Duke
    I want to ask if we really have to kill Sade!
[17:55] Nico
    Of course.
[17:57] Nico
    She's too dangerous.
[17:58] Nico
    You did all this just to ask that?
[18:01] Ichi
    Shut the door. I'm cold.
[18:03] Duke
    If we can go back into the past with
    Zain's magic, we can change things!
[18:07] Duke
    We can talk to her first and
    find out why she cursed us!
[18:12] Nico
    I've been thinking...
[18:14] Nico
    The last thing we'll need to kill
    Sade is for you to touch her.
[18:22] Nico
    Not that I know if her own
    curse will work on her.
[18:27] Nico
    But if nothing else, her magic didn't kill me.
[18:31] Nico
    So it's worth trying.
[18:32] Duke
    No!
[18:33] Duke
    I don't want to do that!
[18:34] Duke
    No! No!
[18:35] Duke
    I don't want to kill anyone!
[18:39] Duke
    Yes, her curse has caused me a lot of misery!
[18:43] Duke
    It changed Rob's life.
[18:46] Duke
    And I can't touch Alice!
[18:49] Duke
    I can't dance or go on dates...
[18:51] Nico
    Fine, fine...
[18:52] Duke
    But it shouldn't be that
    easy to just take a life!
[18:57] Duke
    I don't want to kill her just
    because she's an evil witch!
[19:00] Duke
    I don't want to be afraid.
    I want to accept her!
[19:02] Duke
    I'm going to be
[19:06] Duke
    friends with Sade!
[19:10] Nico
    I forgot to give you this.
[19:12] Nico
    It's a school brochure and your uniforms.
[19:25] Nico
    Be friends with her, huh?
[19:27] Nico
    What's his plan? Start with
     formal introductions?
[19:30] Nico
    Maybe be pen pals?
[19:32] Ichi
    I don't know.
[19:33] Ichi
    Anyway, go back to your usual form.
[19:36] Ichi
    It's like I'm in love with a little kid,
[19:38] Ichi
    and I don't like it.
[19:39] Nico
    Just a little more.
[19:47] Duke
    Huh? You're leaving?
[19:49] Zain
    There's no need to hide anymore,
[19:52] Zain
    and Cuff says she wants
    to go to their school.
[19:56] Zain
    We need to get ready for that.
[19:57] Duke
    So you're going too, then.
[19:59] Zain
    Yeah. It's supposed to be co-ed.
[20:03] Zain
    Cuff, you seem down.
[20:05] Zain
    Can I touch your boobs to cheer you up?
[20:10] Zain
    Bye!
[20:12] Cuff
    We'll be back.
[20:16] Cuff
    I want to be stronger.
[20:21] Cuff
    Strong enough to protect everyone.
[21:55] Duke
    A lot more people come here lately.
[21:57] Duke
    The two today surprised me, though.
[22:00] Alice
    Yes.
[22:00] Alice
    You made more friends.
[22:02] Duke
    Friends, huh?
[22:04] Duke
    Well, they're not bad people.
[22:07] Duke
    I have to be glad that we're
    not alone all the time.
[22:10] Duke
    Cuff and Zain are nice enough
    to come visit someone like me.
[22:14] Alice
    That part of you must be
    what everyone respects.
[22:18] Duke
    Y-Yeah?
[22:19] Alice
    Yes, of course. I respect you a lot, too.
[22:22] Duke
    Aw, that's so sweet and cute.
[22:25] Alice
    But right now, I've got you all to myself.
[22:30] Duke
    The moon's so huge, Alice!
[22:32] Duke
    Let's go look!
[22:40] Duke
    Alice...
[22:41] Duke
    She's so sexy when she's just
    getting out of a window.
[22:44] Alice
    I put my leg out deliberately.
[22:45] Duke
    I'm sure you did!
[22:49] Duke
    It gets chilly at night.
[22:51] Alice
    Shall we strip and warm each other up—
[22:53] Duke
    No! Keep your clothes on!
[22:57] Duke
    Alice, don't worry.
[23:00] Duke
    Everything I have is yours.
[23:04] Alice
    Why did I say I had him all to myself?
[23:07] Alice
    I'm happy that he has more friends...
[23:12] Alice
    But I want him more than ever.
[23:19] Rob
    Is it time for the pillow fight?
[23:22] Rob
    I've brought two of my own pillows!
[23:31] Rob
    I'm too late.
SIGN    The Duke of Death and His Maid
    The Duke, Alice, and the Wizardry School
[23:35] Rob
    "The Duke, Alice, and the Wizardry School."