E8 - How Wonderful Is the Rule of Cool

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Lilishka
    I am the latest of the noblest
    of bloodlines from Transylvania,
[00:10] Lilishka
    the ultimate being!
[00:12] Lilishka
    The peak of all creation!
[00:14] Lilishka
    I am the vampire Lilishka!
[00:18] Shintaro
    I live with an angel and have
    a friend who's a yuki-onna.
[00:22] Shintaro
    And when I helped a girl on the run,
    she turned out to be a vampire.
[00:26] Shintaro
    What are the odds?
[00:34] Shintaro
    Color contacts?!
[00:35] Lilishka
    M-My eyes must've dried
    out from all that running.
[00:39] Lilishka
    My right eye... My right eye throbs!
[00:44] Shintaro
    Oh, a red eye!
[00:47] Lilishka
    Indeed, this is the manifestation
    of my thirst for red blood.
[00:53] Lilishka
    Proof that I am a vampire.
[00:57] Lilishka
    No! These things cost 1,500 yen each!
[01:00] Shintaro
    They were both contacts?!
[01:02] Lilishka
    No. I-I'm just shedding.
[01:04] Shintaro
    You just said they were 1,500 yen each!
[01:07] Shintaro
    These are contacts, right?
[01:08] Lilishka
    I never said that.
[01:09] Shintaro
    You did, too!
[01:10] Lilishka
    Still a vampire, though.
[01:12] Lilishka
    I am a vampire!
[01:16] Shintaro
    She's nothing but...
[01:17] Shintaro
    a total nutcase!
[01:20] Shintaro
    What's wrong with me? So what if
    I know an angel and a yuki-onna?
[01:23] Shintaro
    That shouldn't mean I'm gonna run
    into supernatural beings 24/7!
[01:26] Shintaro
    I'm not a demi-human magnet!
[01:29] Lilishka
    Vampire... vampire...
[01:29] Shintaro
    That said, I can't just ignore a girl on the run.
[01:35] Shintaro
    Want me to walk you home?
    Or should we go to the cops?
[01:38] Lilishka
    Oh, no need. I know a safe place nearby.
[01:42] Lilishka
    That's where I was going to begin with.
[01:46] Lilishka
    Would you walk me there?
SIGN    Studio Apartment, Good Lighting, Angel Included
[03:22] Lilishka
    This is where I work.
[03:26] Lilishka
    I want to repay you for helping
    me out, so wait inside.
[03:30] Lilishka
    I'll go get changed.
[03:31] Shintaro
    I-It's fine. You don't have to.
[03:34] Lilishka
    Huh? But...
[03:36] Shintaro
    A-A maid café?
[03:38] Shintaro
    Are high schoolers even allowed in these?
[03:41] Shintaro
    And more importantly,
    I'm keeping Towa-chan waiting.
SIGN    60 minutes
    One drink minimum
SIGN    Welcome back,
    Master, Mistress
SIGN    Hours:
[03:45] Shintaro
    Seriously, it's fine. Bye!
[03:54] Lilishka
    Yeah, he does smell nice.
[03:56] Towa
    Huh? A vampire?
[03:59] Shintaro
    Yeah, at least, a girl with main character
    syndrome who says she's one.
[04:05] Towa
    Main... character syndrome?
[04:06] Shintaro
    Uh, someone who has wild fantasies
    that the world revolves around them.
[04:11] Towa
    Like a dream? That's a wonderful thing!
[04:14] Shintaro
    Actually, it's not that nice.
[04:18] Shintaro
    I guess you could say they're
     very straightforward.
[04:25] Shintaro
    Goodnight, Towa-chan.
[04:27] Towa
    Yes, goodnight, Shintaro-sama.
[04:54] Shintaro
    Huh?
[05:03] Towa
    Shintaro-sama? What's the matter?
[05:07] Towa
    Huh?
[05:09] Towa
    We have a guest?
[05:10] Shintaro
    She's no guest, Towa-chan.
[05:12] Shintaro
    This is the girl I told you about at dinner!
    The one with main character syndrome!
[05:16] Shintaro
    What are you doing here?!
[05:18] Lilishka
    I tracked your scent.
[05:20] Lilishka
    I couldn't forget it.
[05:24] Lilishka
    You are the first whose scent
    has bothered me so much.
[05:27] Shintaro
    Towa-chan, do I stink?
[05:29] Towa
    You smell nice, Shintaro-sama.
[05:32] Lilishka
    That's not what I meant.
[05:35] Shintaro
    Wait, where'd you even come in from?
[05:37] Lilishka
    The balcony.
[05:39] Shintaro
    Police! Trespasser!
SIGN    Once slept on the balcony
SIGN    fidget
SIGN    fidget
[05:41] Towa
    Oh, I apologize.
[05:44] Shintaro
    I didn't mean you, Towa-chan!
SIGN    Once slept on the balcony
SIGN    fidget
[05:46] Shintaro
    You never broke in like her!
[05:48] Shintaro
    Anyway! You, out!
[05:50] Shintaro
    Leave!
[05:51] Lilishka
    I can't. Not until I get another lick.
[05:53] Lilishka
    Or at least one more sniff.
    I'm not going anywhere otherwise.
[05:56] Shintaro
    Forget main character, she's just a creep!
[06:00] Shintaro
    What's wrong with you?
[06:01] Shintaro
    Loving vampires in fiction is
    one thing, but this is a crime!
[06:05] Shintaro
    Now, get out!
[06:09] Shintaro
    Wait, how'd she even get on the balcony?
[06:12] Towa
    Wow, I've never met a vampire before.
[06:16] Towa
    It's a pleasure!
[06:18] Shintaro
    Again, she's not.
[06:19] Shintaro
    She just claims to be one...
SIGN    Wings?
SIGN    Fangs?
[06:31] Shintaro
    Are those real?
[06:33] Lilishka
    But of course.
[06:34] Shintaro
    Are you actually a vampire?
[06:37] Lilishka
    That's what I've been saying.
[06:40] Shintaro
    So I did run into a vampire after all!
[06:42] Lilishka
    Again, that's what I've been saying!
[06:44] Shintaro
    But what about those contacts?
[06:46] Lilishka
    I'm a Japanese vampire,
[06:49] Lilishka
    but I wish I was an actual European vampire.
[06:53] Shintaro
    So misleading! And you're still
    pretending to be something you're not!
[06:57] Lilishka
    Anyway...
[07:01] Lilishka
    My name is Lilishka!
[07:03] Lilishka
    You would do well to remember me!
[07:07] Shintaro
    Tokumitsu Shintaro.
[07:09] Towa
    I'm Towa!
[07:10] Shintaro
    And now that we've introduced ourselves,
[07:13] Shintaro
    get out!
[07:15] Lilishka
    I refuse.
[07:16] Lilishka
    I won't drink your blood, okay?
    Just let me smell you.
[07:19] Lilishka
    And also nibble you some.
[07:20] Shintaro
    No way!
[07:22] Shintaro
    "I won't drink your blood"?
    Wait, did you bite me earlier?
[07:26] Lilishka
    I did not!
[07:27] Lilishka
    I settled for nibbling on you.
[07:30] Lilishka
    I'm a vampire that respects boundaries.
[07:33] Lilishka
    I won't drink blood without permission!
[07:35] Shintaro
    Says the girl who broke into my home
    and nibbled on me without my consent.
[07:40] Lilishka
    Besides, I have chosen to live blood-free.
[07:43] Shintaro
    What? Really?
[07:45] Lilishka
    I am a cutting-edge vampire.
    I don't need blood to survive.
[07:49] Lilishka
    I can quench my thirst by
    drinking similar red liquids.
[07:54] Shintaro
    Oh, like red wine or tomato juice?
[07:58] Lilishka
    Welch's.
SIGN    12 Grapes'
    Worth
[07:59] Shintaro
    Yummy grape juice!
[08:02] Shintaro
    Will you leave if I give
    you one of those drinks?
[08:06] Shintaro
    Do we have anything?
[08:07] Towa
    Uh, I don't think we have grape juice.
[08:11] Shintaro
    Something red...
[08:17] Lilishka
    I can't... You smell too good, Shintaro.
[08:20] Shintaro
    Oh, how about some pickled plum?
[08:22] Lilishka
    I must have you!
[08:25] Towa
    Shintaro-sama?!
[08:26] Lilishka
    Just one time! Let me nibble on
    you just once, and I'll leave!
[08:29] Shintaro
    Leave without nibbling on me!
[08:31] Shintaro
    Okay, you're already digging in!
[08:34] Shintaro
    You're digging into my neck!
[08:36] Towa
    Please don't eat Shintaro-sama!
[08:41] Shintaro
    And...
[08:42] Shintaro
    She never left!
[08:44] Lilishka
    Oh, it's no use. I really can't resist it.
[08:48] Lilishka
    I won't eat you, so just
    let me stick my fangs in?
[08:50] Towa
    Please don't eat Shintaro-sama!
[08:53] Lilishka
    Just the tip... Just the tip is fine...
[08:56] Shintaro
    I must refuse!
[09:11] Shintaro
    She's gone...
[09:13] Shintaro
    I can't tell if she was the cool
    or the boisterous type.
[09:17] Towa
    Shintaro-sama...
[09:19] Shintaro
    Oh, Towa-chan.
[09:20] Towa
    I realize I'm not very
    learned in these things...
[09:25] Towa
    But don't vampires who are
    exposed to sunlight...
[09:34] Shintaro
    Don't tell me...
[09:36] Shintaro
    she was reduced to ash?
[09:50] (Flashback) Towa
    L-Lilishka-san was reduced to ash!
[09:53] (Flashback) Towa
    Wh-What do we do, Shintaro-sama?!
[09:55] (Flashback) Shintaro
    Calm down, Towa-chan!
[09:57] (Flashback) Shintaro
    I don't see any ash.
[10:00] (Flashback) Towa
    B-But... I'll refrain from
    vacuuming today, just in case.
[10:06] (Flashback) Shintaro
    O-Okay.
[10:08] Shintaro
    Did she really burn to ash?
[10:11] Shintaro
    No, she must've just gone
    home. That has to be it.
[10:16] Shintaro
    I wish I could confirm it to
    give Towa-chan peace of mind.
[10:20] Shintaro
    But all I know about her is her name.
[10:26] Shintaro
    Oh, I do know where she works.
SIGN    60 minutes
    One drink minimum
SIGN    Welcome back,
    Master, Mistress
SIGN    Hours:
[10:28] Shintaro
    If it comes down to it,
    I can go there and ask.
[10:33] Tsumugi
    Tokumitsu!
[10:36] Tsumugi
    Morning.
[10:37] Shintaro
    Morning, Tsutsumi-san.
[10:39] Tsumugi
    Huh? You seem down.
[10:41] Shintaro
    Oh, I didn't get much sleep last night.
[10:44] Tsumugi
    Ah, yeah, the finals cover so much material.
[10:48] Tsumugi
    I can see why you'd panic.
[10:50] Shintaro
    Finals?
[10:51] Tsumugi
    Yeah, our final exams.
[10:53] Tsumugi
    Huh?
[10:54] Tsumugi
    Was that not why?
[10:57] Shintaro
    I forgot all about the exams!
[10:59] Tsumugi
    Seriously? They're only a week away, you know!
[11:01] Tsumugi
    The teachers have been
    harping on about it, too!
[11:04] Shintaro
    I was just chilling in life...
[11:07] Shintaro
    I was even thinking about stuff like
    where to take Towa-chan next.
[11:14] Shintaro
    Time to cram, I guess.
SIGN    Lunch Break
[11:19] Shuichi
    Huh? Where are you going, Shintaro?
[11:22] Shintaro
    To the school store.
    I didn't bring lunch today.
[11:25] Shuichi
    Copy that.
[11:26] Shuichi
    Oh, get me some pudding
    if there's any left!
[11:29] Shuichi
    The school store's limited-to-thirty-a-day
    pudding! I'll owe you for life!
[11:33] Shintaro
    Sure. I'm going there anyway.
[11:35] Shuichi
    Score! My lord and savior Shintaro-sama!
[11:39] Shuichi
    Hold up, I'll give you the money.
SIGN    School Store
[11:45] Shintaro
    I'm glad I managed to buy
    the pudding. But first...
[11:50] Shintaro
    I'm starting to feel hungry
    now that I bought my food.
[11:53] Shintaro
    I did skip breakfast, after all.
[11:56] Shintaro
    Maybe I should just eat my rice ball first.
[11:59] Shintaro
    Let's eat.
[12:14] Lilishika
    Yum.
[12:16] Shintaro
    Hey... wha... L-Lili...
    y-you're okay... why... here?!
[12:20] Lilishka
    You had rice on your cheek, so I ate it.
[12:23] Lilishka
    Was that bad?
[12:24] Shintaro
    Uniform! Cosplay! Trespassing in school!
[12:28] Lilishka
    No. I'm a student here.
[12:31] Shintaro
    Wait, navy?
[12:32] Shintaro
    You're in my year? What class?
[12:35] Lilishka
    Class 2. You're in Class 1, right?
[12:39] Shintaro
    Did you already know about me?
[12:42] Lilishka
    No.
[12:42] Lilishka
    Sniff, sniff.
[12:43] Lilishka
    I just followed a familiar scent
    I smelled outside your classroom.
SIGN    School Store
[12:49] Lilishka
    I can track any scent I'm familiar with.
[12:50] Lilishka
    Sniff, sniff.
[12:52] Lilishka
    That's how I found your place last night.
[12:55] Shintaro
    Is she sure she's a vampire and not a dog?
[12:59] Shintaro
    Anyway, I'm glad you're okay.
[13:02] Shintaro
    I was afraid you'd been reduced to ash.
[13:04] Lilishka
    I do dislike the sun,
    but I'm not going to burn up.
[13:08] Shintaro
    Dislike the sun?
[13:10] Shintaro
    Oh, is that why you're wearing a hoodie?
[13:12] Lilishka
    Yeah.
[13:14] Shintaro
    Let's swap places. There's shade over here.
[13:18] Lilishka
    Thanks.
[13:21] Lilishka
    You believe me, huh?
[13:25] Shintaro
    Yeah.
[13:28] Shintaro
    Why'd you leave without saying
    anything this morning?
[13:32] Lilishka
    You were both asleep.
[13:33] Lilishka
    And I needed to go home and change into
    my uniform before coming to school.
[13:37] Shintaro
    A sensible reason.
[13:39] Lilishka
    And I figured I could just go
    back to your place tonight.
[13:43] Shintaro
    I would rather you didn't.
[13:45] Lilishka
    What?
[13:46] Shintaro
    So much for sensible.
[13:55] Shuichi
    My pudding!
[13:58] Shintaro
    Yikes, I need to get back.
[13:59] Shintaro
    Anyway, I'm glad you're okay.
[14:02] Shintaro
    See you!
[14:11] Shuichi
    Thank you so much! Thank you so much!
[14:15] Tsumugi
    You took your time. Was there a line?
[14:18] Shintaro
    Well...
[14:19] Shintaro
    Do you know a girl named...
    L-Lilishka, in Class 2?
[14:23] Tsumugi
    Huh? I don't.
[14:25] Tsumugi
    Lili...?
[14:26] Shintaro
    She has silver hair, and wears
    this hoodie with bunny ears.
[14:28] Tsumugi
    Oh, I think I've seen her around.
[14:32] Girl A
    Do you mean Kagami-san?
[14:34] Shintaro
    Huh? "Kagami-san"?
[14:36] Shintaro
    So her full name's Kagami Lilishka?
[14:39] Girl A
    I think it was Kagami Sayuri, actually.
[14:43] Shintaro
    What the hell, Lilishka?
[14:45] Girl B
    I've heard of her, too.
[14:47] Girl B
    During introductions on
    the first day of school...
[14:50] (Flashback) Lilishka
    I'm a vampire.
[14:53] Girl B
    She said that.
[14:54] Girl B
    And she's actually following
    through. What a funny girl.
[14:58] Shintaro
    Talk about living life true to yourself...
[15:01] Tsumugi
    Uh, isn't that her?
[15:06] Shintaro
    What the heck? Scary!
[15:07] Tsumugi
    Is she looking for someone?
SIGN    After School
[15:21] Shintaro
    I don't have work today.
[15:23] Shintaro
    I'll go straight home and tell
    Towa-chan that Kagami-san was fine.
[15:29] Tsumugi
    Tokumitsu!
[15:31] Tsumugi
    Uh, if you want them,
[15:34] Tsumugi
    I can lend you my notes
    covering the exam material.
[15:37] Tsumugi
    You haven't been able to
    focus on class, have you?
[15:40] Shintaro
    Wait, really? I'd really appreciate it.
[15:43] Tsumugi
    Probably better to get them copied, right?
    Want to go do that at the library?
[15:48] Shintaro
    Yeah.
[15:48] Tsumugi
    To the library we go, then.
[15:51] Tsumugi
    All right!
[15:52] Tsumugi
    I'm proud of ya, Tsumugi!
[15:54] Tsumugi
    I could never be as direct as Izumi-san,
[15:57] Tsumugi
    but I can do things my own way!
SIGN    To Shintaro
    Follow my familiar
    and come to me at once.
[16:04] Shintaro
    A bat? Which must mean...
[16:09] Girl C
    Yikes, something dark just flew by!
[16:11] Girl D
    What?
[16:12] Shintaro
    Sorry, Tsutsumi-san! Something just came up!
[16:15] Tsumugi
    What?
SIGN    To Shintaro
    Follow my familiar
    and come to me at once.
[16:16] Shintaro
    It's so fast...
[16:21] Noel
    Oh, Shintaro!
SIGN    To Shintaro
    Follow my familiar
    and come to me at once.
SIGN    Occult Research Club
SIGN    To Shintaro
    Follow my familiar
    and come to me at once.
SIGN    Occult Research Club
[16:35] Shintaro
    I don't wanna go in there.
[16:37] Shintaro
    Home it is.
[16:40] Lilishka
    Good of you to come.
[16:42] Lilishka
    But you sure kept me waiting, Shintaro.
[16:44] Shintaro
    Don't give me that!
[16:46] Shintaro
    Don't send your bats flying around school!
[16:48] Lilishka
    This is my familiar. Don't call it a bat.
[16:51] Shintaro
    Wait, why is she so short now?
[16:54] Shintaro
    Oh, I guess she's not wearing her heels.
SIGN    Occult Research Club
[17:03] Lilishka
    Tokumitsu Shintaro.
[17:05] Lilishka
    I, Lilishka, order you to be my servant!
[17:12] Lilishka
    You're so overjoyed that
    you can't speak, huh?
[17:16] Shintaro
    Yeah, not happening.
[17:18] Lilishka
    Why not?
[17:19] Shintaro
    Do you really have to ask?
[17:22] Lilishka
    You refuse the honor of being my servant?
[17:25] Lilishka
    Even if you miss out on having
    this ultra-cute senior?
[17:28] Shintaro
    I'm good.
[17:30] Shintaro
    And wait, this thing would
    be higher up the ladder?!
[17:33] Lilishka
    Then I'll throw in...
SIGN    Lilishka-chan
    Birthday Ticket
[17:35] Lilishka
    a ticket to my birthday event next
    year. Estimated value: 3,000 yen.
[17:37] Lilishka
    Drink not included. Please hand
    over your gifts to reception.
[17:41] Lilishka
    How's that for an offer you can't refuse?
[17:43] Shintaro
    I'm still good!
[17:45] Lilishka
    How can... this be?
[17:47] Shintaro
    Why did you think that would work?
[17:49] Lilishka
    What do you desire, then? Name your price!
[17:51] Shintaro
    Doesn't matter. I'm not taking your offer.
[17:53] Shintaro
    I don't even know what got you
    started on this weird servant thing.
[17:57] Shintaro
    You weren't acting like this at lunch.
[18:00] Shintaro
    What's gotten into you?
[18:03] Lilishka
    I mean...
[18:04] Lilishka
    You told me not to come over anymore.
[18:10] Lilishka
    In the schoolyard, it seemed like you
    didn't want to be seen together with me.
[18:15] Lilishka
    And in your classroom, you didn't seem to
    want people to think we were acquainted.
[18:19] Shintaro
    Th-That's not what I was thinking...
[18:21] Shintaro
    Oh, is that why she sent
    her familiar to get me?
[18:25] Shintaro
    She made sure to hide the fact
    that we knew each other.
[18:31] Shintaro
    K-Kagami-san, I...
[18:33] Lilishka
    I felt like fate brought you to me, Shintaro.
[18:37] Lilishka
    In all my life, you have the
    most unforgettable scent.
[18:42] Lilishka
    I want to sniff you for life.
[18:44] Lilishka
    And yet, you told me not to come over.
[18:48] Lilishka
    Then I'm left with no choice.
[18:50] Lilishka
    I must become your master and
    order you to let me sniff you.
[18:53] Shintaro
    Why?!
[18:55] Lilishka
    But if you won't accept that...
[18:57] Lilishka
    Forget about it and let me sniff you for now!
[19:00] Lilishka
    We can resume the negotiations after that!
[19:02] Shintaro
    Excuse me?!
[19:03] Lilishka
    Let me sniff you!
[19:04] Lilishka
    I must sniff you or I'll lose my mind!
[19:07] Shintaro
    You already have!
[19:09] Shintaro
    Calm down, Kagami-san... I mean, Lilishka!
[19:18] Tsumugi
    Hey, Izumi-san, wait!
[19:23] Tsumugi
    S-Sorry, Tokumitsu. We followed you...
[19:26] Noel
    How could you, Shintaro?! You've
    never even hugged me, your friend!
[19:31] Noeltsumugi
    Huh?
[19:33] Lilishka
    Huh?
[19:34] Noellilishka
    What?!
[19:37] Noel
    I don't believe it. Vampires...
[19:40] Lilishka
    Yuki-onna...
[19:43] Noel
    ...are real?
[19:43] Lilishka
    ...are real?
[19:45] Lilishka
    I suppose power attracts power.
[19:50] Noel
    Holy cow... A vampire girl!
[19:53] Noel
    I love vampires almost
    as much as I love angels!
[19:56] Noel
    But Shintaro's my friend, okay?!
[20:01] Tsumugi
    Tokumitsu...
[20:02] Tsumugi
    When you said you weren't planning
    on running into devils or kappa,
[20:07] Tsumugi
    you'd already met a vampire, huh?
[20:10] Tsumugi
    I wish you'd told me.
[20:12] Shintaro
    No, Tsutsumi-san, you've got...
[20:15] Lilishka
    Shintaro.
[20:17] Lilishka
    I'm, uh... sorry.
[20:20] Shintaro
    Huh?
[20:21] Lilishka
    I wasn't considering if I
    was being a bother to you.
[20:27] Lilishka
    You helped me out when I was in trouble,
[20:31] Lilishka
    but I went and found your home
    and showed up unannounced.
[20:34] Lilishka
    And at school, I tracked your scent
    and followed you to your class.
[20:39] Lilishka
    I've lost control of myself
    ever since I met you.
[20:44] Lilishka
    This has never happened to me before.
[20:47] Lilishka
    I don't know what to do with myself.
[20:51] Lilishka
    You were so nice to me, too.
[20:55] Lilishka
    And I want to be friends with you, too.
[21:01] Shintaro
    Life as a vampire might be even
    harder than anyone could imagine.
[21:06] Noel
    I'm terrible at controlling my
    blizzards, so I know how she feels.
[21:16] Shintaro
    You're welcome to come over.
[21:19] Lilishka
    Huh?
[21:20] Shintaro
    I can't have you sniffing me at school,
    so you can come over now and then.
[21:29] Lilishka
    I can go back?
[21:32] Shintaro
    Yeah. Towa-chan was worried about you, too.
[21:36] Shintaro
    Oh, but...
[21:38] Shintaro
    Come through the front door from now.
[21:47] Lilishka
    Okay!
[21:49] Noel
    Hey, wait! I wanna go to your place, too!
[21:52] Noel
    I wanna visit my friend's place!
[21:55] Shintaro
    Huh? Uh... Let me ask Towa-chan first.
[21:58] Tsumugi
    I wanna go, too. B-But I can't say it...
SIGN    Don't Be Scared
[23:35] Shintaro
    Next episode: "Don't Be Scared."