E2 - I Want to Connect, but I Want to Take

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    I want to be connected
    A
[00:07] Kazuki
    That's right.
[00:09] Kazuki
    I dress up as Azuma Sara and take selfies.
[00:11] Kazuki
    I'm messed up.
[00:15] Keppi
    There, there.
[00:16] Keppi
    Let's cool down, kero.
[00:17] Keppi
    I'll give you something nice
    in return for your help, kero.
SIGN    Hope
[00:42] Keppi
    This Dish of Hope will
    grant you any wish, kero.
SIGN    Hope
[00:48] Keppi
    What I'm about to say is important, kero.
[00:50] Keppi
    This is something that only I, as the heir
    to the throne of the Kappa Kingdom...
[00:52] Enta
    For real?!
[00:53] Enta
    Can I ask for a year's supply
    of cucumber rolls, then?
SIGN    Hope
SIGN    A year's supply of cucumber rolls
[01:03] Keppi
    Your wish has been granted, kero.
SIGN    Hope
SIGN    Kappa Plaza
[01:08] Enta
    Wait, I take that back.
[01:09] Toi
    You weren't kidding.
[01:11] Keppi
    I need you to become kappas and take
    kappa zombies' Shirikodama, kero.
[01:16] Keppi
    So long as you have wishes
    that you want granted.
[01:24] Kazuki
    A dish that grants your wishes...
[01:27] Haruka
    Kazu-chan!
[01:30] Haruka
    Hey, do you think we should give
    Nyantaro some Fish Buffet today?
[01:34] Kazuki
    This is Haruka,
[01:36] Kazuki
    my kid brother.
[01:37] Haruka
    "Good morning, Sara-chan.
[01:40] Haruka
    Do you like cats, Sara-chan?"
[01:44] Haruka
    And sent.
[01:48] Kazuki
    Harukappa is Haruka's account.
[01:51] Haruka
    "Good morning, Sara-chan.
[01:53] Haruka
    Do you like cats, Sara-chan?"
[01:55] Kazuki
    "Good morning.
[01:56] Kazuki
    I love kitties, dish."
[02:02] Kazuki
    It's my brother Haruka that I'm connected to,
    pretending to be idol Azuma Sara.
[02:08] Kazuki
    I want a Dish of Hope for Haruka.
SIGN    Lucky Selfie Fortunes
SIGN    Asakusa
SIGN    Simply SARA Report: I found my prince, dish. It was a touching reunion, dish. The prince's appearance has changed... But my love...
[03:44] Sara
    Happy every day!
[03:46] Sara
    Even happier with lucky selfies!
[03:48] Sara
    Azuma Saradish!
[03:50] Haruka
    Good morning!
[03:52] Haruka
    I'm Harukappa, dish!
[03:54] Mom
    Haruka, stop watching Sara-chan
    and finish your breakfast.
[03:58] Haruka
    Okay.
[03:59] Dad
    Do they call you "Harukappa"
    at elementary school?
[04:04] Haruka
    That's a secret.
[04:06] Haruka
    Kazu-chan!
[04:08] Mom
    Morning, Kazu-kun.
[04:09] Mom
    Breakfast's ready.
[04:11] Kazuki
    Sorry, I gotta go.
[04:14] Mom
    Yeah? Take care.
[04:15] Haruka
    Wait, wait.
[04:17] Haruka
    I'm going, too.
[04:19] Dad
    Now, then...
[04:22] Haruka
    Hey, do you think Nyantaro's gotten fatter?
[04:25] Haruka
    He was slimmer when we first met him, right?
[04:28] Kazuki
    I don't think he's changed.
[04:29] Haruka
    Really?
[04:33] Haruka
    I was so happy, though.
[04:35] Haruka
    You made my wish to have a pet cat come true.
SIGN    Lucky Selfie Fortunes
SIGN    ...have nice, pale skin, and not be a frog, dish. My favorite food is cucumbers. Normal humans can't see this...
[04:43] Sara
    Now, then, today's Lucky Selfie item is...
SIGN    Asakusa
SIGN    But my love is forever, dish. His breath smells of cucumbers. His eyes are like black holes. His voice is sexy...
SIGN    Lucky Selfie Fortunes
SIGN    Cats
SIGN    Asakusa
    Sara
    TV
    
    
    Fortunes
[04:50] Sara
    Meow!
SIGN    Azuma Sara
[04:52] Sara
    Kitties, dish!
[04:54] Sara
    I love kitties, dish!
[04:56] Kazuki
    Thank goodness the real one likes cats, too.
[05:00] Haruka
    It's Sara-chan.
[05:01] Haruka
    Do you like Sara-chan, too?
[05:03] Kazuki
    No, not at all.
[05:04] Haruka
    I love Sara-chan.
[05:06] Haruka
    I know!
[05:07] Haruka
    I'm going to tell you my super secret.
[05:12] Kazuki
    It's okay.
[05:13] Haruka
    I'm friends with Sara-chan.
[05:15] Haruka
    We text each other every day.
[05:18] Haruka
    See?
[05:19] Kazuki
    Are you sure you aren't being tricked?
[05:20] Haruka
    I'm not.
[05:22] Haruka
    It's the real Sara-chan.
[05:24] Haruka
    See?
[05:25] Haruka
    Like this.
[05:26] Kazuki
    It's me.
[05:28] Haruka
    And this.
[05:29] Kazuki
    It's me.
[05:30] Haruka
    And this.
[05:31] Kazuki
    It's me.
[05:34] Haruka
    Isn't that awesome?
[05:36] Kazuki
    Yes!
[05:46] Chikai
    Where did you find out about this route?
[05:49] Man
    I don't know anything!
[05:52] Chikai
    We don't like doing this, you know.
[05:55] Chikai
    But if you won't fess up...
[06:03] Chikai
    I'll have to end you.
[06:07] Chikai
    Damn it, man, be careful.
[06:09] Chikai
    I can't bail you out all the time.
[06:12] Toi
    I won't mess up like that again.
[06:14] Toi
    So please, take me with you.
[06:16] Chikai
    You'll get in the way.
[06:19] Chikai
    If the next gig works out,
    we'll make some good money.
[06:23] Chikai
    We're screwed if they catch on first.
[06:26] Chikai
    You get it, don't you?
[06:27] Toi
    I can find money.
[06:30] Chikai
    That's great.
[06:32] Chikai
    I'm counting on you for when I screw up.
[06:36] Chikai
    Well, this is where we part ways, Toi.
[06:38] Chikai
    Don't get in over your head.
[06:42] Chikai
    You too, Nii-san.
[06:46] Chikai
    I want a Dish of Hope for my brother.
[06:51] Sara
    And now for the next story, dish.
[06:52] Sara
    A man's body was discovered
    in the Sumida River this morning.
SIGN    Simply SARA Report: I like to go mountain stream fishing. Rainbow trouts, masu trouts, chars... They're all delicious, dish. The trick is...
SIGN    Asakusa
SIGN    Man's Corpse Discovered in River
[06:56] Sara
    River...
[06:59] Enta
    What the hell?!
[07:03] Enta
    This isn't my box.
[07:05] Enta
    Which means this is Kuji's...
[07:08] Enta
    Nee-chan!
[07:10] Enta
    Don't scare me like that.
[07:11] Sister
    What?
[07:12] Sister
    Not again...
[07:14] Enta
    No, it got mixed up with Kuji's package.
[07:16] Sister
    Oh? You're already friends with Kuji-kun?
[07:19] Enta
    Of course not!
[07:20] Enta
    Kuji's bad news.
SIGN    Fish
    Buffet
[07:36] Toi
    Yes?
[07:37] Toi
    Yeah.
[07:38] Toi
    No problem.
[07:40] Toi
    I have some really fresh herb here.
[07:42] Toi
    Where?
[07:45] Toi
    Got it.
[07:54] Toi
    Hey!
[07:56] Toi
    Stop!
[07:56] Toi
    Hold it!
[07:59] Kazuki
    Weird...
[08:01] Kazuki
    How are there no cats today, of all days?
[08:09] Kazuki
    Nyantaro.
[08:10] Kazuki
    Fine, I'll take a selfie with you.
SIGN    Fish Buffet
[08:13] Kazuki
    What are you holding?
[08:16] Toi
    Found you.
[08:18] Kazuki
    Kuji?
[08:19] Toi
    Fatass cat...
[08:20] Toi
    Give that back!
[08:26] Toi
    Let's get this over with.
[08:27] Kazuki
    Stop!
[08:29] Toi
    Move!
[08:30] Kazuki
    This cat's precious to me and Haruka.
[08:37] Toi
    Son of a bitch!
[08:38] Toi
    I'll slice your gut open!
[08:40] Kazuki
    Stop!
[08:43] Enta
    What am I supposed to do with this by myself?
[08:52] Enta
    Keppi!
[08:53] Enta
    What was that for?
[08:55] Keppi
    I'm so hungry...
[08:56] Keppi
    Help me, kero.
SIGN    Hanayashiki
[09:02] Toi
    There!
[09:03] Toi
    Hey!
[09:04] Toi
    Get down here!
[09:05] Kazuki
    Nyantaro, run!
[09:07] Toi
    Stop getting in my way!
[09:08] Kazuki
    I'm getting in your way!
[09:09] Toi
    Stop following me!
[09:10] Kazuki
    I'm following you!
[09:11] Toi
    In here, huh?
SIGN    Asakusa
    Hanayashiki
SIGN    Asakusa Gate
SIGN    Couples only!
SIGN    Going on now
SIGN    Love Love
SIGN    Ninja Festival
SIGN    Couples Only
SIGN    Couples only!
SIGN    Love Love
SIGN    Ninja Festival
[09:22] Toi
    Want to deal with this tomorrow?
[09:24] Kazuki
    That sounds good.
[09:28] Ninja
    All right, then, have fun on
    your love love couple date!
[09:33] Kazuki
    Seriously?!
[09:35] Keppi
    Delicious, kero.
[09:37] Keppi
    Delicious, kero.
[09:38] Enta
    Sure, sure.
[09:40] Enta
    Good for you, kero.
[09:41] Enta
    Man, Kazuki reads all my
    messages and never responds.
[09:45] Enta
    What now?
[09:49] Keppi
    Their agents of evil are sneaking
    towards this city as we speak.
[09:54] Enta
    Agents of evil?
[09:57] Enta
    Kazuki!
[09:59] Enta
    Damn, it's Nee-chan.
[10:01] Enta
    Jeez, on a date? She has no
    idea what I'm going through.
[10:05] Keppi
    They have their duty to
    defeat the kappa zombie.
[10:08] Keppi
    They have no sense of urgency.
[10:10] Enta
    Huh?
[10:12] Enta
    What are you...
[10:14] Enta
    Kuji and Kazuki!
SIGN    Hanayashiki
[10:18] Toi
    Stop!
[10:20] Toi
    Fatass cat!
[10:22] Ninja
    You, there, love love couple!
[10:25] Ninja
    You hold hands because you're in love!
[10:27] Ninja
    Never shall you part!
[10:30] Kazuki
    Sorry for letting go, dish, darling.
[10:33] Toi
    No, let go!
[10:34] Kazuki
    Couples that aren't holding
    hands get kicked out.
[10:39] Kazuki
    Run!
[10:40] Toi
    Stop!
[10:50] Toi
    He's all the way up there!
[10:53] Kazuki
    Nyantaro, run, quick!
[10:55] Toi
    Cut it out already.
[10:57] Kazuki
    Nyantaro's the cat that brought
    Haruka and I together.
[11:01] Toi
    Who the hell is Haruka?
[11:03] Kazuki
    Haruka is my precious little brother.
[11:08] Toi
    I wouldn't mind giving up on the cat.
[11:10] Kazuki
    Really?
[11:11] Toi
    But in exchange,
    give me your Dish of Hope.
[11:13] Kazuki
    Well...
[11:15] Kazuki
    I can't do that.
[11:16] Toi
    Stop being so selfish already.
[11:18] Kazuki
    And what's your problem with Nyantaro,
     anyway, Kuji?
SIGN    Asakusa
     Suspicious
     Corpse
     Incident
    Investigation
     Headquarters
[11:21] Man
    We've determined the identity of the corpse
    that was discovered early this morning.
[11:26] Man
    Nekoyama Mokichi.
[11:27] Man
    Thirty-eight. Unemployed.
[11:29] Man
    He was arrested half a year ago on
    suspicion of being behind the series
[11:30] Man
    Cats, cats...
[11:32] ---
    Cats, cats...
[11:32] Man
    of cat abductions that saw the
    victims stripped of all their fur—
[11:33] ---
    Cats, cats...
[11:34] Man
    the Asakusa Cat Shaving Incident.
[11:35] ---
    Cats, cats...
[11:36] Man
    But we were unable to establish
    a case, and he was released.
[11:36] ---
    Otters! Lies! Lies!
[11:38] ---
    Gonna take them! Cats, cats!
[11:40] ---
    The world is filled with lies, lies!
SIGN    Unemployed
SIGN    No unauthorized copying allowed
SIGN    Nekoyama
SIGN    Six months ago, he was arrested for a case called the "Asakusa Cat Shaving Incident," where cats in the area were taken and had all their fur shaved off. But they were unable to establish a case and he was released.
[11:41] Man
    We'll investigate as if it was a murder.
[11:41] ---
    Gonna take them! Cats, cats!
[11:45] Reo
    That was our doing.
[11:47] Mabu
    That's yesterday's news.
[11:49] (Flashback) Nekoyama
    I never did that!
[11:51] (Flashback) Nekoyama
    This is an unlawful arrest!
[11:54] (Flashback) Mabu
    To those for whom there's no beginning,
    no end, and no connecting...
[11:59] (Flashback) Reo
    We'll open this door for you.
SIGN    Extract
[12:04] (Flashback) Reo
    Desire?
[12:07] (Flashback) Reo
    Or love?
[12:09] (Flashback) Reo
    Desire extraction!
[12:18] [SONG] ---
    Otters, soiya!
[12:24] [SONG] ---
    Soiya! Soiya!
[12:27] [SONG] ---
    Soiya! Soiya!
[12:30] [SONG] Reo
    Neutered dogs, bare your teeth!
[12:36] [SONG] Mabu
    Mere insects coasting through life,
    live passionately!
[12:42] [SONG] Reo
    Don't let go of your desires!
[12:45] [SONG] Reo
    Don't let go of your desires!
[12:48] [SONG] Reo
    We've attained two fates
[12:55] [SONG] Reo
    We're all alike, one life form
[13:01] [SONG] Reo
    Wring out the desire!
[13:04] [SONG] Reo
    Wring out the desire!
[13:08] [SONG] ---
    Otters, soiya! Soiya!
[13:12] [SONG] ---
    Otters, soiya! Soiya!
[13:15] [SONG] ---
    Otters, soiya! Soiya!
[13:25] Reo
    Wring out...
[13:27] Reo
    ...the desire.
SIGN    Asakusa
SIGN    Simply SARA Report: Cats are vital for living alone, dish. You can eat together, have them play on cat towers, take naps together, and have them stare at walls when no one's there.
SIGN    Oh, Meow God! Cats in the Sky
[13:44] Sara
    And now for the next story, dish.
[13:45] Sara
    Cats are flying in the sky above Asakusa.
[13:51] Sara
    You cat bastards!
[13:55] Toi
    Up there.
[13:57] Toi
    Hey! Fatass cat!
[13:59] Toi
    Stay right there.
[14:00] Toi
    I'm going to catch you.
[14:11] Toi
    What the...
[14:13] Kazuki
    It can't be.
[14:14] Keppi
    It's a kappa zombie's doing, kero.
[14:19] Enta
    Kazuki, are you all right?
[14:28] Haruka
    Oh, no, Sara-chan!
[14:30] Haruka
    Nyantaro's missing!
[14:32] Kazuki
    Haruka needs my help.
[14:35] Toi
    I need that herb to make money!
[14:37] Keppi
    All you need to do is become kappa
    and pull its Shirikodama out.
[14:42] Enta
    No!
[14:42] Keppi
    Careful!
[14:43] Enta
    Kuji, stay away from Kazuki!
[14:46] Kazuki
    Enta.
[14:47] Enta
    This kid's no good. Look what he had!
[14:50] Toi
    You...
[14:51] Toi
    Where did you get that?
[14:53] Toi
    Give that back!
[14:54] Kazuki
    Everyone has a secret.
[14:58] Kazuki
    I want to save Nyantaro for Haruka's sake.
[15:01] Kazuki
    I need Kuji.
[15:06] Keppi
    Desire extraction!
SIGN    Shirikodama
SIGN    Extraction
[15:33] Keppi
    Now, it's time to make a quick
    connection with the sarazanmai, kero.
[15:37] Enta
    Another Shirikodama bucket brigade?
[15:40] Toi
    Our secrets are going to get
    leaked again, aren't they?
[15:43] Keppi
    Risk is an inherent aspect of battle.
SIGN    Azumabashi @ Field of Desires
SIGN    Cat Zombie
[15:46] Zombie
    You cat bastards!
[15:51] Kazuki
    I'm going to save Nyantaro, no matter what.
SIGN    Kaminarimon
[16:04] [SONG] ---
    There's something I have to take back
[16:10] [SONG] ---
    Cats! Cats!
[16:11] [SONG] ---
    Before the one I like finds out
[16:11] Zombie
    You cat bastards!
[16:15] ---
    You cat bastards!
[16:15] [SONG] ---
    There's something I have to take back
[16:20] [SONG] ---
    Cats! Cats!
[16:21] [SONG] ---
    No one can find out...
[16:25] [SONG] ---
    ...about this secret
[16:26] [SONG] ---
    Go grab it!
[16:28] [SONG] ---
    You and I are supposed to be connected
[16:34] Zombie
    Stay away! Don't expose my desires!
[16:37] [SONG] ---
    Desires!
[16:39] [SONG] ---
    We have to find out the meaning of life
[16:46] Zombie
    My girlfriend dumped me! She said her
    cat's more important to her than me!
[16:48] [SONG] ---
    Burst!
[16:50] Enta
    You're taking it out on cats
    because you got dumped?
[16:50] [SONG] ---
    Swim through life and grasp the success
[16:53] Toi
    Not my problem. That's stupid.
[16:54] Kazuki
    Be safe, Nyantaro!
[16:56] [SONG] ---
    You can believe it's love
[17:01] [SONG] ---
    Soul on a dish, stack your plates
[17:04] [SONG] ---
    Catch the ball, yank it out
[17:06] [SONG] ---
    Grant your wishes, Sarazanmai!
[17:10] ---
    Just like that!
[17:17] [SONG]
    Got it!
SIGN    Butt
SIGN    Butt
[17:25] ---
    I want to be a cat... Play with me.
SIGN    ttuB
SIGN    Girlfriend
SIGN    Nekoyama
[17:29] Enta
    I see.
SIGN    Girlfriend
[17:30] Enta
    He was gathering cat fur
    so he could become a cat.
SIGN    Nekoyama
[17:34] Enta
    So that his precious someone would love him.
[17:39] Zombie
    My secret is out!
[17:46] [SONG] Enta
    Sara!
[17:48] [SONG] Toi
    Sara!
[17:49] [SONG] Kazuki
    Sara!
[17:51] [SONG] Kazuki
    Sarazanmai!
SIGN    A
SIGN    Butt
SIGN    A
SIGN    Leak
[18:16] Voice
    Leaking.
SIGN    Leak
[18:18] (Flashback) Haruka
    I want a pet cat someday.
[18:23] Kazuki
    I remember this.
SIGN    Leak
[18:34] Toi
    Yasaka and the fat cat?
[18:37] Toi
    What are they doing?
SIGN    Let's Protect Our Neighborhood Cats
SIGN    Cut ear means it's been fixed
SIGN    Cut
SIGN    Leak
[18:45] (Flashback) Kazuki
    Here.
[18:46] (Flashback) Kazuki
    This is Nyantaro.
[18:49] Enta
    Kazuki stole someone's cat and
    made it a neighborhood cat?
[18:55] Kazuki
    That's right!
[18:56] Kazuki
    I wanted to make Haruka happy!
[19:08] Keppi
    Desire assimilated.
[19:10] Zombie
    I'm a dead zombie.
SIGN    Butt Butt Butt Butt Butt Butt Butt Butt Butt Butt
SIGN    Nekoyama
SIGN    No beginning
SIGN    No connection
SIGN    No end
SIGN    Students Crossing
SIGN    Nekoyama
[19:20] Mabu
    It seems someone is getting in our way.
[19:23] Reo
    Let's hurry.
[19:24] Reo
    Only those who can connect
    desires can have a future.
[19:32] Enta
    Kazuki, hey...
[19:34] Enta
    I know you care about Haruka,
    but stealing cats isn't right.
[19:41] Enta
    More than anything,
    I feel sorry for Nyantaro.
[19:46] Enta
    What was that for?!
[19:49] Toi
    Take back what's been taken from you.
[19:52] Toi
    I'm taking this bag of herb.
[19:57] Toi
    Just be glad it didn't get thrown out.
[20:00] Toi
    Hand me that dish.
[20:03] Keppi
    No.
[20:04] Toi
    You and I aren't very different.
[20:06] Toi
    We'll do anything to take what we want.
[20:11] Enta
    Kazuki wants to use the dish
    for his brother's sake!
[20:14] Enta
    He's not like you!
[20:16] Keppi
    I forgot to tell you, kero.
[20:18] Keppi
    That silver Dish of Hope won't grant
    you anything until you have five, kero.
[20:25] Enta
    You could have told me sooner!
[20:28] Toi
    I'm taking the next one.
[20:37] Kazuki
    I'm still going to do it for Haruka.
SIGN    I W a n t t o C o n n e c t,
SIGN    b u t I W a n t t o T a k e
[22:19] Kazuki
    Mission complete.
[22:21] Haruka
    It's Nyantaro! He's safe!
[22:24] Haruka
    I knew your selfies would bring me happiness.
SIGN    Thank you
SIGN    Thank goodness.
[22:50] Cat
    Meowhat?!
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people and businesses that appear are products of the author's imagination.