E1 - I Want to Connect, but I Want to Lie

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    I want to be connected
    A
SIGN    Azumabashi
[00:21] Kazuki
    This world is filled with connections.
[00:27] Kazuki
    Connections of blood, connections of
    the city, connections of desires...
[00:33] Kazuki
    Everyone is connected in this world.
SIGN    Kappa Plaza
SIGN    Kappa Plaza
[00:50] Haruka
    Kazu-chan!
[01:11] Kazuki
    But those connections can easily be lost.
[01:18] Kazuki
    I know that better than anyone.
[01:32] Kazuki
    I can't let myself lose
    this connection again.
[01:37] Kazuki
    I'll do anything to protect it.
[03:12] Kazuki
    There are three rules to my life.
[03:16] Kazuki
    First, I have to carry this box
    around with me wherever I go.
SIGN    Asakusa Sara TV
SIGN    Believe in A from
     the bottom of your heart
SIGN    Shout A from the
    center of the world
SIGN    Feel free to
    look at the A
SIGN    Nothing
    without A
SIGN    Sara TV
[03:24] Sara
    Good morning!
[03:31] Sara
    Simply Asakusa Sara TV.
SIGN    Asakusa Sara TV
SIGN    Asakusa Sara TV
SIGN    Asakusa
SIGN    Normal humans can't see this, Simply Asakusa Sara TV. I'm looking for my prince. They need to have a sexy voice, smell nice, have nice, pale skin, and not be a frog...
SIGN    Lucky Selfie Fortunes
[03:35] Sara
    Happy every day!
[03:37] Sara
    Even happier with Lucky Selfies!
[03:39] Sara
    Azuma Saradish!
[03:42] Sara
    Today's Lucky Selfie item is...
[03:46] Kazuki
    Please don't be weird...
SIGN    Asakusa
SIGN    They need to have a sexy voice, smell nice, have nice, pale skin, and not be a frog, dish. My favorite food is cucumbers.
SIGN    Lucky Selfie Fortunes
[03:50] Kazuki
    Second, I have to check idol
    Azuma Sara's Lucky Selfie Fortunes
SIGN    Asakusa
SIGN    Normal humans can't see this, Simply Asakusa Sara TV. I'm looking for my prince. They need to have a sexy voice, smell nice, have nice, pale skin, and not be a frog...
SIGN    Lucky Selfie Fortunes
[03:55] Kazuki
    every day without fail.
SIGN    Boxes
SIGN    Asakusa
    Sara
    TV
    
    
    Fortunes
[04:00] ---
    Boxes!
[04:02] Sara
    Boxes, dish!
[04:04] Sara
    The more boxes you have,
    the happier you'll be!
SIGN    Lucky Selfie Fortunes
[04:07] Sara
    Take a Happy Selfie, send it to your special
    someone, and you'll be even happier, dish.
SIGN    Lucky Selfie Fortunes
[04:13] Sara
    Have another happy day!
[04:15] Sara
    Good Sarakku!
[04:17] Kazuki
    Good Sarakku...
[04:22] Kazuki
    Third, I have to share Lucky Selfies
    with a certain person every day.
[04:29] Kazuki
    Our relationship is a secret.
[04:33] Kazuki
    As long as I have this connection,
    I don't need anything else.
SIGN    Beware of vehicle break-ins
[04:58] Toi
    What are you doing?
[04:59] Sara
    Huh?
[05:01] Toi
    You took a picture just now.
[05:02] Sara
    N-No, I didn't.
[05:04] Toi
    Bullshit.
[05:05] Toi
    Give me that smartphone.
[05:09] Toi
    No!
[05:12] Sara
    I'm going to complete
    my mission with them, dish.
[05:17] Sara
    The more boxes, the happier, dish!
[05:20] Toi
    Huh? Stop!
[05:24] Toi
    Shit, where did she go?
SIGN    The Prince of the Kappa Kingdom
SIGN    Kappa Plaza
SIGN    Kappa Plaza
[05:33] Kazuki
    I pray to connect with them again today.
[05:36] Toi
    You!
[05:37] Kazuki
    Huh?
[05:38] Toi
    Have you seen a girl in a weird outfit?
[05:41] Kazuki
    N-No...
[05:46] Toi
    Your smartphone...
[05:49] Toi
    You're connected to that chick, aren't you?
[05:51] Kazuki
    I-I don't know what you're talking about.
[05:58] Toi
    Let's get this over with.
[06:15] Toi
    What the hell?!
[06:25] Kazuki
    My classroom?
[06:27] Kazuki
    I was dreaming.
[06:33] Kazuki
    Thank goodness.
[06:34] Enta
    Kazuki!
[06:36] Kazuki
    Enta...
[06:37] Enta
    How could you resign from
    the club without telling me?
[06:41] Kazuki
    I was going to talk to you about it later.
[06:43] Enta
    After the fact?!
[06:45] Enta
    We've been the golden duo
    ever since we were kids!
[06:48] Sensei
    Morning.
SIGN    Kuji Toi
[06:50] Sensei
    I'm going to introduce
    the new transfer student.
[06:52] Sensei
    Kuji Toi-kun.
SIGN    Kuji Toi
[06:54] Sensei
    Treat him well, everyone.
[06:59] Kazuki
    It wasn't...
[07:00] Toi
    ...a dream.
[07:06] Kazuki
    That sound...
SIGN    For a kappa, a shower...
SIGN    ...makes his dish happy
[07:21] Sensei
    Okay, next.
[07:23] Kazuki
    That sound again.
SIGN    Kappa sumo
SIGN    Dosukoi happy
[07:29] Kazuki
    Dosukoi.
[07:44] Kazuki
    Something's calling me.
[07:59] Sara
    And for the next story, dish!
[08:01] Sara
    The kappa statue in the shopping district
    was found destroyed this morning.
[08:06] Sara
    Kapow!
SIGN    Asakusa
SIGN    The prince should be in a cold sleep somewhere, dish. Whoever destroyed that will be cursed, dish.
SIGN    Someone Destroyed the Kappa Statue
[08:09] Sara
    The Asakusa police have no leads as
    of yet. The investigation is ongoing.
[08:10] Enta
    What am I supposed to do about this?
[08:14] Grandma
    Whoever did it is going to get their
    Shirikodama sucked out by the kappa.
[08:19] Enta
    Shirikodama?
[08:21] Enta
    It's an organ inside the anus of every human.
[08:24] Otone
    Enta!
[08:26] Otone
    You wasted money again.
[08:28] Enta
    What's in the box this time?
[08:31] Otone
    I didn't, Onee-chan!
[08:32] Otone
    This is for Kazuki.
[08:38] Enta
    Wait!
[08:40] Enta
    My box!
[08:48] Kazuki
    I definitely hear it coming from the plaza.
[08:50] Toi
    No one else hears it.
[08:54] Kazuki
    We must have been cursed by the kappa.
[08:57] Toi
    There's no such thing as curses!
[09:06] Kazuki
    It's getting louder.
[09:09] Kazuki
    The cops are going to arrest
    us if they find out, right?
[09:12] Toi
    I can't let that happen.
[09:14] Toi
    Ever.
[09:15] Kazuki
    I can't lose my connection with them, either.
[09:21] Toi
    Something's coming out.
[09:22] Kazuki
    A fart?
[09:27] Kazuki
    What the hell?!
[09:31] Keppi
    Good morning.
[09:36] Kazuki
    Huh?
[09:38] Toi
    This conversation...
[09:39] Keppi
    I've been waiting for you.
SIGN    The Prince of the Kappa Kingdom
[09:44] Keppi
    I am Keppi, heir to the
    throne of the Kappa Kingdom, kero.
[09:49] Keppi
    I've taken the liberty of erasing
    your memories of this morning, kero.
[09:54] Kazuki
    Our memories?
[09:55] Keppi
    Erased?
[09:56] Kazuki
    Just like that.
[09:59] Keppi
    Now that you know of my existence,
    I'll have to do something about you.
[10:04] Kazuki
    P-Please don't curse me!
SIGN    Charm
[10:06] Keppi
    Still, it must not have been an accident
    that you were the ones to awaken me.
[10:11] Keppi
    And I called you back here for a reason.
[10:15] Keppi
    Oh, human children, please help me, kero.
[10:19] Keppi
    I'm begging you, kero.
[10:24] Toi
    I refuse.
[10:25] Kazuki
    What? Is that safe to do?
[10:28] Toi
    I'm not taking orders from some frog.
[10:30] ---
    I'm not a frog.
[10:32] Kazuki
    Huh? Frog?
[10:34] Keppi
    I said, I'm not a goddamn frog!
[10:39] Kazuki
    This is bad.
[10:40] Keppi
    How dare you!
[10:45] Keppi
    Extraction!
[10:57] ---
    Kero!
SIGN    Shirikodama
SIGN    Extraction
[11:30] Kazuki
    Kappa!
[11:31] Kazuki
    Kuji turned into a kappa!
[11:37] Kazuki
    A kappa came out!
[11:39] Toi
    Dude, you're a kappa, too.
[11:41] Keppi
    Being a prince, I can't help
[11:44] Keppi
    but lose my temper and remove people's
    Shirikodama when I'm called a frog, kero.
[11:51] Kazuki
    O-Oh, no!
[11:55] Keppi
    This is the Field of Desires, kero.
[11:58] Keppi
    Humans can see neither
    this world nor the kappas, kero.
[12:04] Keppi
    In other words, you are
    as dead as you are alive, kero.
[12:08] Kazuki
    As dead as we are...
[12:09] Toi
    ...alive?
[12:11] Enta
    Stop! My box!
[12:14] Kazuki
    Enta!
[12:15] Kazuki
    It's me!
[12:17] Keppi
    He can't see you, kero.
[12:20] Keppi
    Here.
[12:24] Enta
    It's a huge frog!
[12:25] Keppi
    I'm not a goddamn frog!
SIGN    Desire
[12:36] Sara
    And now for the next story, dish.
SIGN    Nationwide Traffic Safety Happening Now
[12:38] Sara
    There are boxes flying
    all throughout Asakusa.
SIGN    Asakusa
SIGN    You need boxes for when you're buying in bulk, dish. I buy the chocolate bar Black Thund3r in bulk. It's a secret I can't tell anyone. You also need boxes for eloping, dish.
SIGN    Seriously? Flying Boxes
[12:43] Sara
    Kapow!
[12:46] Keppi
    I just sucked out another
    silly Shirikodama, kero.
[12:50] Kazuki
    So what's this "Shirikodama" thing?
[12:52] Keppi
    It's an organ that stores human desire.
[12:58] Toi
    Make us normal, right now!
[13:02] Kazuki
    My box!
[13:03] Keppi
    That's a kappa zombie underling, kero.
[13:06] Keppi
    The humans can't see them, either, kero.
SIGN    Azumabashi Hakoda Osamaru
SIGN    Toi's Desires
[13:10] Toi
    They got my box, too.
[13:11] Keppi
    Come with me if you want your boxes back, kero.
[13:12] ---
    Uh...
SIGN    Kappa
[13:24] Keppi
    I'll have you fight the kappa zombies, kero.
[13:28] Keppi
    They're trying to satiate their
    desires from when they were living, kero.
[13:33] Keppi
    The kappa zombies can be defeated
    by removing their Shirikodama, kero.
SIGN    Azumabashi @ Field of Desires
[13:37] Keppi
    Now that you've become kappas,
    you can do that, kero.
SIGN    Box Zombie
[13:41] Toi
    We're taking back what they took from us.
[13:43] Toi
    That's all.
[13:44] Kazuki
    I can't let them have that box.
SIGN    Kaminarimon
[13:46] Kazuki
    I want my box back.
[13:58] [SONG] Kazuki
    There's something I have to take back
[14:03] [SONG] Kazuki
    Boxes! Boxes!
[14:04] Box
    Cardboard...
[14:04] [SONG] Kazuki
    Before the one I like finds out
[14:09] [SONG] Kazuki
    There's something I have to take back
[14:09] Kazuki
    Cardboard...
[14:14] [SONG] Kazuki
    Boxes! Boxes!
[14:15] [SONG] Kazuki
    No one can find out...
[14:18] [SONG] Toi
    ...about this secret.
[14:20] [SONG] Keppi
    Go grab it!
[14:22] [SONG] Kazuki
    You and I are supposed to be connected
[14:28] ---
    Stay back!
[14:29] Box
    Don't take my desires!
[14:31] [SONG] Kazuki
    Desires!
[14:32] [SONG] Kazuki
    We have to find out the meaning of life
[14:35] Box
    Card! Card! Cardboard!
[14:41] [SONG] Kazuki
    Burst!
[14:43] Box
    Boxes...
[14:44] [SONG] Kazuki
    Swim through life and grasp the success
[14:44] Box
    Boxes...
[14:45] Box
    My dreams...
[14:47] Box
    I want boxes!
[14:48] Enta
    Why did he have to take my box, too?
[14:50] [SONG] ---
    You can believe it's love
[14:50] Toi
    I can't let him open my box.
[14:53] Kazuki
    Let's take them back.
[14:54] Box
    Card, card, card, card, cardboard!
[14:54] [SONG] ---
    Soul on a dish, stack your plates
[14:57] Box
    Card, card!
[14:57] [SONG] ---
    Catch the ball, yank it out
[15:00] [SONG] ---
    Grant your wishes, Sarazanmai!
[15:02] Box
    I'm wet!
[15:04] Box
    Watch out for water!
[15:10] Kazuki
    Just like that.
[15:13] Box
    Stop it!
[15:15] Box
    I don't want anyone to learn my secret.
[15:18] Kazuki
    I don't care!
[15:19] Kazuki
    It's your fault for having a secret
[15:22] Kazuki
    that could get you in trouble!
SIGN    Butt
[15:35] Kazuki
    Got it!
[15:37] Toi
    Pull!
[15:39] Kazuki
    Damn it, he's not coming out.
[15:44] Kazuki
    We're taking this Shirikodama out,
    no matter what.
[15:47] Kazuki
    So that I can connect with them!
[15:49] Box
    Stop!
[15:53] Kazuki
    Got it!
SIGN    Butt
[16:01] Kazuki
    What is this?
[16:05] Box
    Boxes...
[16:06] Box
    Boxes are the best.
[16:09] Kazuki
    I get it.
[16:10] Kazuki
    He liked stealing boxes and wearing
    them over his head while being naked.
[16:13] Box
    My embarrassing secret's gotten out!
SIGN    Butt
[16:25] Kazuki
    Yes! We got it out!
[16:32] Keppi
    Transfer the Shirikodama to me
    before it melts completely, kero.
[16:38] Keppi
    Do the sarazanmai, kero.
[16:40] Keppi
    What the hell is the sarazanmai?
[16:42] Enta
    Yeah, what?
[16:43] Toi
    How would I know?
[16:44] Keppi
    Damn it, I don't know!
[16:46] [SONG] Keppi
    Sara!
[16:47] [SONG] Enta
    Sara!
[16:49] [SONG] Toi
    Sara!
[16:51] [SONG] Toi
    Sarazanmai!
SIGN    A
SIGN    Butt
SIGN    A
SIGN    Leak
[17:16] Voice
    Leaking.
[17:18] Voice
    Transferring.
SIGN    This is what's about to happen
SIGN    Leak
SIGN    Lucky Selfie Fortunes
[17:23] Sara
    Have another happy day!
[17:25] Sara
    Good Sarakku!
[17:32] Kazuki
    Huh?
[17:33] Kazuki
    Is this...
[17:34] Kazuki
    Me from this morning?
[17:44] Kazuki
    No!
[17:46] Kazuki
    Don't look!
SIGN    Leak
SIGN    Beware of vehicle break-ins
[18:01] (Flashback) Toi
    What are you doing?
[18:03] (Flashback) Toi
    Bullshit.
[18:05] (Flashback) Toi
    Give me that smartphone.
[18:08] (Flashback) ---
    No!
[18:09] (Flashback) Sara
    I'm going to complete
    my mission with them, dish.
[18:14] (Flashback) Sara
    The more boxes, the happier, dish!
[18:18] Toi
    No way...
[18:21] Toi
    You're the chick from this morning?
[18:28] (Flashback) Sara
    Good morning!
SIGN    Good morning Today's Lucky Selfie mission is complete, dish
[18:30] (Flashback) Sara
    Today's Lucky Selfie mission is complete, dish!
SIGN    Leak
SIGN    Good morning, Sara-chan! Thanks for today's Lucky Selfie! I'm happy every day thanks to you, Sara-chan
[18:37] Enta
    No way...
[18:39] Enta
    Kazuki's cross-dressing and
    pretending to be an idol?
SIGN    My embarrassing secret...
SIGN    ...is out!
[18:59] Keppi
    Desire assimilated.
[19:01] Zombie
    I'm a dead zombie.
SIGN    Butt Butt Butt Butt Butt Hakoda Butt Butt Butt Butt Butt
SIGN     Hakoda
SIGN    No beginning
SIGN    No connection
SIGN    No end
SIGN    Students Crossing
[19:09] Kazuki
    We're human again.
[19:13] Toi
    What was that thing I saw when
    we transferred the Shirikodama?
[19:17] Keppi
    "Sarazanmai" refers to a connection
    of mind and soul.
[19:23] Keppi
    You share all your deepest secrets as well.
[19:27] Enta
    So the stuff in your box, Kazuki...
[19:30] Kazuki
    That's right.
[19:31] Kazuki
    I dress up as Azuma Sara and take selfies.
[19:35] Kazuki
    I'm messed up.
[19:36] Enta
    D-Don't worry about it.
[19:38] Enta
    Yeah, it shocked me, but that
    doesn't change our friendship.
[19:43] Toi
    Are you serious?
[19:45] Toi
    He's practically living
    as a cross-dressing idol.
[19:48] Enta
    Our bond is stronger than you think.
[19:52] Enta
    You're one to talk, Kuji.
[19:53] Enta
    Breaking into cars is a crime.
[19:55] Toi
    You're in no position to lecture me.
[19:58] Enta
    Say what?
[19:59] Kazuki
    Shut up!
[20:01] Kazuki
    Shut up, shut up!
[20:02] Kazuki
    Quit talking out of your ass!
[20:04] Kazuki
    I never asked anyone to understand me.
[20:08] Kazuki
    This is my own business.
[20:09] Kazuki
    It's the connection between me and Harukappa.
[20:12] Kazuki
    For that, I'll pretend to be anything!
[20:19] Haruka
    Goodnight, Sara-chan.
SIGN    I W a n t t o b e C o n n e c t e d,
SIGN    b u t I W a n t t o L i e
[20:31] [SONG] ---
    Stand by me
[20:33] [SONG] ---
    Please
[20:35] [SONG] ---
    I don't know if I can become stronger
[20:42] [SONG] ---
    The rain washes away my tears
[20:47] [SONG] ---
    I want to be embraced by your warmth
[20:54] [SONG] ---
    The flickering lightbulb that's been neglected
[20:57] [SONG] ---
    One morning, it had quietly died
[21:00] [SONG] ---
    It's almost like you and me
[21:03] [SONG] ---
    Like the fleeting moment when
    we held our hands together
[21:06] [SONG] ---
    I sat with my arms around my knees
[21:11] [SONG] ---
    Thinking of the days long gone
[21:16] [SONG] ---
    Stand by me
[21:18] [SONG] ---
    Please
[21:21] [SONG] ---
    I don't know if I can become stronger
[21:27] [SONG] ---
    Even if you aren't here now
[21:32] [SONG] ---
    Please give me the courage to reach out
[21:38] [SONG] ---
    Stand by you
[21:40] [SONG] ---
    Please
[21:43] [SONG] ---
    I want to get rid of everything
[21:49] [SONG] ---
    The rain washes away my tears
[21:55] [SONG] ---
    I just want to be embraced by your warmth
[22:02] Nekoyama
    I never did that!
[22:03] Nekoyama
    This is an unlawful arrest!
[22:10] Mabu
    To those for whom there's no beginning,
    no end, and no connecting...
[22:15] Reo
    We'll open this door for you.
SIGN    Extract
[22:27] Reo
    Desire?
[22:30] Reo
    Or love?
SIGN    Extract
[22:39] Reo
    Desire extraction!
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people and businesses that appear are products of the author's imagination.