E9 - Let's Become the Masters of Romance

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:10] ---
    Thank you for coming, Sakura.
[00:13] ---
    Sure.
[00:17] ---
    Today's our last day at this school.
[00:20] ---
    Yes, it is.
[00:22] ---
    But will you be by my side
    even after today, Sakura?
[00:30] ---
    Well, you know...
[00:35] ---
    I'm sorry, Kaoruko!
[00:37] ---
    Huh?!
[00:38] ---
    I mean, you're kind of selfish.
[00:40] ---
    You don't understand how girls think.
[00:44] ---
    You know everything about my schedule
    and give me strange gifts.
[00:48] ---
    You try to solve all problems with money.
[00:50] ---
    So... have a nice life!
[00:52] ---
    Huh?! No, no, no. Hey!
[01:02] ---
    Wh-why?!
[01:04] ---
    Hmm? What's wrong, Kaoruko?
[01:08] ---
    Kibou ga afureru mirai
[01:11] ---
    Nandomo egaita yume ga
[01:14] ---
    Asu o kaete yukuyo
[01:17] ---
    Susumi tsuzukeyou,
[01:19] ---
    Believe in Sky
[01:32] ---
    Mada shiranai hajimete no michi fumidasu ippo
[01:38] ---
    Sono yuuki ga atarashii deai o yobu
[01:44] ---
    Sekai no door ga hiraitara susumou
[01:48] ---
    Chikai atta anohi no memory
[01:51] ---
    Sotto kakaete
[01:55] ---
    Mayou toki wa ookiku senobi o shite
[02:00] ---
    Atarashii kaze ni fukarete
[02:03] ---
    Saa Start Now!
[02:06] ---
    Shinjiru mono ga atte,
    Mamoritai mono ga aru kara
[02:13] ---
    Watashi wa tsuyoku nareru,
    kinou no jibun o koete
[02:17] ---
    Kibou ga afureru mirai
[02:20] ---
    Nandomo egaita yume ga
[02:24] ---
    Asu o kaete yukuyo
[02:26] ---
    Susumi tsuzukeyou,
[02:29] ---
    Believe in Sky
[02:39] ---
    EVENT DAY TODAY!
    Please stop by!
[02:41] ---
    EVENT DAY TODAY!
    Please stop by!
    LET'S BECOME THE MASTERS OF ROMANCE
[02:42] ---
    You got "I'm sorry" at
    the end again, Kaoruko.
[02:42] ---
    LET'S BECOME THE MASTERS OF ROMANCE
[02:45] ---
    You two should be working.
[02:47] ---
    Why? We have no customers, as usual.
[02:50] ---
    Always act as if you're in a battlefield.
    You should always be ready for customers.
[02:55] ---
    But knowing what kind of
    games we carry at the shop
[02:58] ---
    is also a very important
    job of ours, I think.
[03:01] ---
    So which game is it?
[03:04] ---
    Well, this one!
[03:06] ---
    A dating simulation?
[03:06] ---
    Romance
    Survivor
[03:09] ---
    Supposedly. But all the girls hate Kaoruko
    and she ends up being told "I'm sorry,"
[03:15] ---
    under the legendary tree
    before the game ends.
[03:17] ---
    What? Isn't that what
    they call "a bad ending"?
[03:21] ---
    Oh yeah? But she gets "I'm sorry"
    from all the characters she hit on.
[03:26] ---
    I see. She must have chosen
    strange actions to take.
[03:30] ---
    I did not!
[03:32] ---
    KAORUKO: Then I'll hire a
    bodyguard to accompany us.
[03:32] ---
    It's common sense to bring
    a bodyguard on a date.
[03:35] ---
    I can't help leaving the
    site to look for an AED.
[03:35] ---
    Note: AED - Automated External Defibrillator.
    KAORUKO: Where is there an AED?!
[03:39] ---
    KAORUKO: Wow! I can't believe your scores!
[03:39] ---
    If she's bad at studying,
    giving her a tutor is a must-do thing!
[03:45] ---
    She's not wrong, but it's all bad choices.
[03:47] ---
    So sad.
[03:50] ---
    Wow, I didn't know you sucked
    at something, Kaoruko.
[03:57] ---
    No... I can't...
[03:58] ---
    Kaoruko?
    No... I can't...
[03:59] ---
    No... I can't...
[04:01] ---
    I'm sorry... but I don't feel... very well.
[04:05] ---
    So I'd like to... go home early.
[04:08] ---
    Okay. Be careful.
[04:10] ---
    Take care.
[04:13] ---
    Impossible. I must be perfect at all times.
    I should be perfect.
[04:18] ---
    I can't let this continue!
[04:21] ---
    There's somewhere I want to
    stop by before going home.
[04:32] ---
    Guys, this shop is dangerous. Be careful.
[04:34] ---
    Tiger's Swamp
[04:36] ---
    What kind of shop is it?
[04:39] ---
    One of the very few remaining places in Akihabara
    that has a collection of game software.
[04:44] ---
    An amateur gamer shouldn't
    enter this shop out of sheer curiosity.
[04:49] ---
    If you go in so casually,
    you'll end up seeing Hell...
[05:17] ---
    Are you looking for something?
[05:19] ---
    Oh, well... do you work here?
    I'm looking for a dating sim...
[05:26] ---
    Which one?
[05:26] ---
    Huh? A dating sim...?
[05:29] ---
    That's why I hate amateurs. Listen.
[05:31] ---
    Dating simulations have a wide variety
    of genres and manufacturers.
[05:36] ---
    (Sick-sweet), (Tough-sweet),
    (Lovey-dovey), (Amateur), (Erotic)
[05:36] ---
    Yandere, tsundere, ichakora, doujin, eroge,
    and the ones targeted to girls like you...
[05:42] ---
    All in all, there are
    countless numbers of them.
[05:46] ---
    If you just wanna do anything,
    you should do the thing with the leaf, key, and fairy.
[05:47] ---
    People are losing memories
    of anime and games,
[05:50] ---
    but the amount of knowledge he has...
[05:51] ---
    I think it's called "Something Is Life."
    If you wanna talk about romance, do that first.
[05:52] ---
    He's great.
[05:54] ---
    All of them.
[05:55] ---
    Huh? What did you say?
[05:58] ---
    I'll take all the dating
    sims you have in this shop!
[06:04] ---
    See you.
[06:06] ---
    Let's go home.
[06:08] ---
    Yeah.
[06:09] ---
    We had nothing to do today, as usual.
[06:14] ---
    Good, I made it in time.
[06:16] ---
    What's the matter, Kaoruko?
[06:18] ---
    Well, I forgot something.
    I'm sorry, but can I borrow the key?
[06:24] ---
    No problem, but...
[06:25] ---
    We can wait for you here.
[06:27] ---
    No, no, no! Don't worry about
    me. I'll lock up for you.
[06:34] ---
    What's wrong? It's already late.
[06:37] ---
    I have something I need to
    do. Please go ahead and rest.
[06:42] ---
    Oh, okay. I can help y-
[06:44] ---
    Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[06:46] ---
    If you look inside...you
    know what will happen.
[06:50] ---
    Okay...
[06:57] ---
    Okay, let's do this!
[07:02] ---
    Are you stupid?
[07:04] ---
    You're the one that showed me your panties!
[07:06] ---
    I'll play again!
[07:09] ---
    The same gift again? You suck.
[07:13] ---
    You're annoying and creepy!
[07:15] ---
    You piece of crap!
[07:23] ---
    It's all thanks to you Kaoruko! Thank you!
[07:23] ---
    It's all thanks to you, Kaoruko! Thank you.
[07:27] ---
    I see. I shouldn't overdo things.
[07:39] ---
    I really like you, Kaoruko!
[07:42] ---
    I did it! I captured the heart of
    the first girl. Let's continue!
[07:47] ---
    I wanna be with you forever, Kaoruko...
[07:49] ---
    I'll never forget you...
[07:54] ---
    I... did it.. I can... finally... finish...
[08:02] ---
    Can I?
[08:04] ---
    Wow, really?
[08:06] ---
    Yes, that's right. Oh? The
    sign's out already. Who did it?
[08:11] ---
    Welco-
[08:12] ---
    Oh, Chimari and Irina. How do you do?
[08:16] ---
    You're here early.
[08:17] ---
    What's going on, Kaoruko?
[08:18] ---
    I have the key, so naturally
    I should be here first.
[08:23] ---
    Kaoruko, your eyes are all
    red! You look pale, too.
[08:27] ---
    You still don't feel well?
[08:29] ---
    I-it's nothing. I'm fine!
[08:36] ---
    An old man is calling me from the other side
    of the river of vanilla ice cream...
[08:40] ---
    It's almost time to open.
[08:41] ---
    Okay!
[08:45] ---
    Hmm? What's this?
[08:48] ---
    Love Love... Legend?
[08:48] ---
    Love Love Legend
[08:51] ---
    I've never seen this software.
[08:53] ---
    Do you think a customer dropped it?
[08:56] ---
    The best and... ultimate... universal
    and aggressive... romance?
[09:03] ---
    I don't really get it.
[09:04] ---
    No, I get it pretty well!
[09:09] ---
    This is a typical dating sim, where a player
    takes the role of a male student,
[09:14] ---
    and tries to hit on the girls he meets
    on the way to school.
[09:17] ---
    It uses a special one-day system,
SIGN    Kaoruko Health Politics Data Leadership Attraction Command Intelligence Stress Memory System
[09:19] ---
    where you play in events during classes
[09:21] ---
    to gain your favorability rating.
[09:24] ---
    And after school,
[09:24] ---
    you'll have a confession
    under the legendary cherry blossom tree,
[09:27] ---
    which will lead to a
    shocking end of the story!
[09:30] ---
    You know so much about it.
[09:32] ---
    This is only common sense!
[09:33] ---
    What is a shocking ending like?
[09:36] ---
    That, you'll have to find
    out by actually playing it!
[09:43] ---
    Can this old PC work?
[09:45] ---
    This software only works for this type of PC.
[09:47] ---
    Good thing we had it in storage.
[09:51] ---
    By the way, are you really okay?
[09:54] ---
    What do you mean?
[09:56] ---
    We mean, you'll get the
    "I'm sorry" ending again.
[09:58] ---
    How terrible of you to say that!
[10:00] ---
    I overcame the dating sim swamp,
    so there's NO girl who won't fall in love with me!
[10:05] ---
    Swamp? What swamp?
[10:07] ---
    Okay, shall we begin?
[10:14] ---
    Love Love Legend
    Dedicating My Last Day to You.
[10:16] ---
    Hmm?
[10:17] ---
    Is this an error?
[10:18] ---
    Is the disc broken?
[10:23] ---
    No! A virus is spreading
    in the world of this game!
[10:27] ---
    When I'm just about to play...
[10:30] ---
    They're trying to crash
    my bittersweet romance.
[10:33] ---
    It's unforgivable!
[10:35] ---
    Irina! Chimari!
[10:37] ---
    We have to go!
[10:44] ---
    The school's that way...
[10:46] ---
    K-Kaoruko!
[10:48] ---
    What is it, Chimari?
[10:51] ---
    Look at this...!
[10:52] ---
    The legendary cherry-blossom tree...
[10:55] ---
    Is dead...
[11:03] ---
    If I remember correctly,
    this game only lasts for a day, right?
[11:08] ---
    It should be.
[11:10] ---
    Making a love confession
    here is very surreal.
[11:13] ---
    This must be due to the virus...
[11:15] ---
    Damn boys!
[11:18] ---
    What's that?!
[11:19] ---
    Is it the virus?
[11:21] ---
    No, this is a...
[11:23] ---
    I can't believe it!
[11:24] ---
    How can he be such an animal?!
[11:26] ---
    Boys are all trash.
[11:29] ---
    Depending on such a lowly
    creature is an act of fools.
[11:32] ---
    Today, you will change and try to become
    a more independent woman!
[11:35] ---
    Yes, Big Sis Maya!
[11:37] ---
    Hey, Maya!
[11:39] ---
    What have you done to this world?
[11:42] ---
    Oh, the blondie and her friends.
    What are you doing here?
[11:46] ---
    That's our question to you.
[11:47] ---
    Nothing special, really.
    I was just teaching these girls a bit of reality.
[11:53] ---
    You know, I HATE this type of
    sweet and full-of-crap romance!
[11:59] ---
    First of all, the true romance... True romance should be...
    It should be much tougher than this!
[12:01] ---
    She's in story-telling mode.
[12:03] ---
    What do we do?
[12:04] ---
    It sounds interesting, so let's hear her out.
[12:07] ---
    I mean, how can you fall in love with someone
    by just hitting your shoulders together?
[12:10] ---
    No way.
[12:12] ---
    If that's all it takes, then I'll be
    hitting people's shoulders every day!
[12:15] ---
    She's aggressive.
[12:16] ---
    And even if you get to date him, if you
    become committed, he'll tell you to piss off.
[12:19] ---
    If I act cuddly, he'll curse at me for misunderstanding
    my character.
[12:21] ---
    What the hell am I supposed to do?!
[12:23] ---
    I hate men...!
[12:27] ---
    I hate men...
[12:30] ---
    I know that there's no knight
    on a white horse anywhere!
[12:37] ---
    Her words are heavy.
[12:38] ---
    She must've had a lot of breakups.
[12:40] ---
    I bet she asked for too much.
[12:42] ---
    She's the expert of breakups.
[12:44] ---
    Stop saying "breakups"!
[12:47] ---
    You know, I...I...
[12:52] ---
    I get it!
[12:54] ---
    I will give you a great romantic experience.
[12:57] ---
    H-hey...
    I will give you a great romantic experience.
[12:58] ---
    I will give you a great romantic experience.
[12:58] ---
    What?! What are you talking about?
[13:00] ---
    I, Kaoruko Nijouin, have overcome
    the swamp of dating sims.
[13:05] ---
    So I will make you fall in love with me!
[13:09] ---
    Memorial change!
[13:17] ---
    Let the game begin!
[13:20] ---
    I'm Kaoruko. What about you?
[13:23] ---
    Maya. So? What the hell do you want from me?
[13:28] ---
    For this type of girl, I
    should take the safe route...
SIGN    April 1 Let me call you Queen. Can we chat for a while? You're cute. You have beautiful hair. MAYA:
[13:32] ---
    You're cute.
[13:32] ---
    April 1
    MAYA:
[13:35] ---
    Huh?!
[13:35] ---
    April 1
    MAYA: Huh?!
[13:36] ---
    That's the sound of her
    favorability rating going down.
[13:38] ---
    Oh, just as expected.
[13:40] ---
    Wh-why?! Usually, this is where
    the favorability rating would go up.
[13:44] ---
    What do you mean, "cute"?
    Are you making fun of me?!
[13:48] ---
    W-well then... You have beautiful hair!
[13:53] ---
    You mean JUST my hair?!
[13:55] ---
    She's very twisted.
[13:57] ---
    She's had so many breakups
    her heart is wasted.
[14:00] ---
    Shut up!
[14:01] ---
    Please be quiet!
[14:02] ---
    And she gets angry easily.
[14:05] ---
    April 1
    MAYA:
[14:06] ---
    I-is that...
[14:09] ---
    the legendary item that
    decreases the favorability
[14:11] ---
    ratings of the angry
    girls to the very bottom!
[14:13] ---
    I didn't know that this
    game was equipped with it!
[14:16] ---
    Hey, say something?
[14:17] ---
    You can do it, Kaoruko!
[14:19] ---
    This world depends on your choice.
[14:22] ---
    Make her heart get excited!
[14:24] ---
    You're silly.
[14:29] ---
    Well, goodbye!
[14:31] ---
    Big Sis! I'll show you around the school.
[14:32] ---
    Even after overcoming the swamp
    of dating sims, I still don't have it?
[14:33] ---
    Let us hear your stories.
[14:36] ---
    I can't even make one girl
    fall in love with me...
[14:39] ---
    I really am a loser who can't understand
    the hearts of girls...
[14:45] ---
    No you're not!
[14:48] ---
    I like that you're always kind, Kaoruko.
[14:52] ---
    I like that you always try
    to do everything perfectly.
[14:58] ---
    I think you should just
    play as your ordinary self.
[15:01] ---
    Then they're bound to see
    the good sides of you.
[15:05] ---
    But my favorability rating is...
[15:08] ---
    It's not zero yet, is it?
[15:09] ---
    I'm sure you can turn it all around, Kaoruko!
[15:12] ---
    It's game over when you give up!
[15:14] ---
    And so is this world.
[15:18] ---
    That's right...
[15:20] ---
    Well then, Kaoruko Nijouin...
[15:23] ---
    will fight back!
[15:31] ---
    There...
[15:34] ---
    Let me help you.
[15:36] ---
    You?!
[15:37] ---
    Is that good, Maya?
[15:40] ---
    Wh-what are you doing without my permission?
    I-I could've done it myself!
[15:48] ---
    But you can depend on me
    whenever you need help.
[15:52] ---
    That was the sound of the
    favorability going up.
[15:54] ---
    Is that all it takes?
[15:55] ---
    That was easier than I expected.
[15:59] ---
    According to Kaoruko's analysis,
[16:01] ---
    girls who think they're not good at anything
    have a weakness to people's kindness.
[16:12] ---
    This is how you do the stroke.
[16:15] ---
    I-I know!
[16:17] ---
    Uh... Well...
[16:19] ---
    It's page 135.
[16:21] ---
    Wow! The rating keeps going up.
[16:23] ---
    You have to eat nutritious food.
[16:26] ---
    Th-thank you.
[16:27] ---
    Good. Keep it going.
[16:32] ---
    See? You substituted a
    wrong number there again.
[16:35] ---
    Oh yeah, I did. I'd better be more careful.
[16:38] ---
    You can be clumsy at times,
    so you should pay more attention.
[16:44] ---
    But if you keep up at this rate,
    we can go to the same school!
[16:49] ---
    Y-yes!
[16:52] ---
    The favorability rate is at its peak!
[16:54] ---
    She'll win her heart very soon.
[16:59] ---
    Kaoruko
    Chimari
    Irina
[17:00] ---
    Good morning!
[17:03] ---
    Oh, where's everyone?
[17:04] ---
    Aya's group is organizing the storage,
[17:06] ---
    and Kaoruko's group went to
    the game world with Nejiusa.
[17:09] ---
    I see. What kind of game?
[17:13] ---
    Th-this is the...
[17:14] ---
    legendary evil game!
[17:16] ---
    "Evil game"?
[17:18] ---
    They put all the selling elements into one game
    and because of that,
[17:21] ---
    it has the worst game balance...
[17:23] ---
    thus giving it the legend of being
    the most evil game ever created!
[17:28] ---
    They went to such a world? I wonder
    if Kaoruko and the others are all right...
[17:42] ---
    How do you do, Maya?
[17:47] ---
    Kaoruko... I...
[17:50] ---
    I...
[17:53] ---
    I like you...
[17:55] ---
    Thank you, Maya. That makes me very happy.
[18:01] ---
    The favorability is at the max!
    We're going straight toward the happy ending now!
[18:05] ---
    Yes! Good job, Kaoruko.
[18:07] ---
    And moving on the shocking ending, right?!
[18:10] ---
    Hmm?
[18:11] ---
    I want to be with you forever too, Maya...
[18:15] ---
    What is it?!
[18:16] ---
    It got dark again!
[18:18] ---
    Oh! Could this be...?
[18:26] ---
    You guys!
[18:28] ---
    You betrayed us, Big Sis Maya!
[18:31] ---
    Huh?
[18:32] ---
    You told us to be independent,
    yet you quickly found yourself someone to depend on.
[18:36] ---
    Huh?! Well, this is just...
[18:38] ---
    I can't trust boys or girls anymore!
[18:41] ---
    Don't worry, I'll make you all fall in...
[18:44] ---
    I'll never forgive you!
[18:49] ---
    What's that?!
[18:50] ---
    This is worse than a virus infection!
    The characters' entire personalities are overtaken!
[18:56] ---
    Big Sis!
[18:58] ---
    Both of you!
[19:03] ---
    I won't let you interfere with
    Kaoruko's romantic affair!
[19:05] ---
    You can either get kicked by a horse or shot by me.
    It's your choice!
[19:10] ---
    Kaoruko!
[19:11] ---
    Huh? What is it?
[19:16] ---
    Wh-what is it?!
[19:22] ---
    What now?!
[19:23] ---
    It finally showed up.
[19:26] ---
    Impossible! What's going on?!
    I haven't ordered this world to be destroyed yet!
[19:32] ---
    Why is it moving at its own will?!
[19:34] ---
    BIG SIS!
[19:50] ---
    Huh?
[19:54] ---
    Wh-why are you doing this?!
[19:57] ---
    You know why!
[19:59] ---
    Right now, you're my heroine. That's why!
[20:05] ---
    You! Move out of the way!
    Otherwise I can't crush her!
[20:09] ---
    No, I won't move! I'll protect Maya!
[20:16] ---
    In that case, I'll burn you two together!
[20:29] ---
    You're irritating!
[20:37] ---
    This is endless!
[20:38] ---
    Don't you think this has
    become a different game?
[20:41] ---
    If so, we have to do something about that.
[20:54] ---
    It's too hard. What is it made of?!
[20:58] ---
    Kaoruko! I hope you've got it!
[21:00] ---
    Yes, I've got it! Irina, I'm sorry to ask you this,
    but please cover me!
[21:05] ---
    Roger.
[21:08] ---
    Here I come, Big Sis! I'll get rid
    of that annoying one and you next!
[21:14] ---
    I won't let you!
[21:21] ---
    I won't miss this time!
[21:32] ---
    Okay... here I come!
[22:01] ---
    Good job, Kaoruko!
[22:03] ---
    Well, thank you both.
[22:06] ---
    The game ended before it finished, though.
[22:09] ---
    Yes. It's too bad, but maybe next time...
[22:12] ---
    Maya!
[22:13] ---
    Maya! Where are you? Are you gone? Maya!
[22:18] ---
    Kaoruko.
[22:20] ---
    Maya! Are you all right? Are you hurt?
[22:24] ---
    I hate to admit it, but you helped me this time.
    And just one day of romance...
[22:31] ---
    W-well, I kind of enjoyed it.
[22:35] ---
    Yeah? I enjoyed it too, Maya.
[22:40] ---
    But I won't lose next time, Okay? Bye!
[22:44] ---
    Sure. See you...
[22:53] ---
    Love Love Legend
[22:55] ---
    But it turned out to be a nightmare.
[22:58] ---
    But when you play it once,
    you'll never forget about it.
[23:00] ---
    That WAS worth being called a legend.
[23:02] ---
    Do you think that was the shocking ending
    that it was supposed to be?
[23:06] ---
    According to the information I salvaged
    from the pit of Internet,
[23:09] ---
    the rest of the girls turn to zombies and attack
    the main character and his girlfriend.
SIGN    Love Love Legend Strategy Guide To the last dungeon Once you get here, the girls other than your new girlfriend will turn into zombies and attack you...
[23:14] ---
    A zombie ending?!
[23:16] ---
    In a sense, that was the intended development
    of the story then.
SIGN    Love Love Legend Strategy Guide Go beyond the snowy mountain You encounter enemies at every step.
[23:20] ---
    Around the time this software was developed,
    any zombie-related game became a hit.
[23:26] ---
    Zombie or not, I don't care.
    Because I'm perfect at everything.
[23:32] ---
    I, Kaoruko Nijouin, will take any challenge!