E5 - The Bum and the Boobs

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Chifusa
    Now, let us begin...
[00:20] Chifusa
    Even, or odd!
[00:23] Chifusa
    Place your bets!
[00:24] Men
    Even!
[00:24] Men
    Odd!
[00:25] Men
    Even!
[00:25] Men
    Odd!
[00:26] Men
    Even!
[00:26] Men
    Odd!
[00:27] Chifusa
    Everyone's ready? You're all ready, yes?
[00:31] Chifusa
    All right, all bets have been placed!
[00:33] Chifusa
    The result...
[00:35] Chifusa
    Even boobs!
[00:38] Men
    I lost again!
SIGN    House of Smiles Gambling Hall
    Super Tits Time
    Hours: 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM,
    3:00 PM to 7:00 PM
     9:00 PM to 11:00PM
[00:41] Men
    Can't argue with boobs, though!
[00:44] Narrator
    Breasts are the most powerful
    force in the universe!
SIGN    Breasts Are the Most
    Powerful Force in
    the Universe
SIGN    Titanic Tits Are a Sign of Wealth
    and Absolute Power
[00:48] Narrator
    Titanic tits are a sign of wealth
    and absolute power!
[00:52] Narrator
    And flat girls aren't even human!
SIGN    Flat Girls Aren't Even Human
[00:56] Narrator
    Our story is set in the days of the Shogun.
[00:58] Narrator
    A powerful clan within the shogunate
    supported the nation's government,
[01:02] Narrator
    commanding legions of assassins and
    raising up the most bounteous of bosoms.
[01:07] Narrator
    They were...
SIGN    The Manyu Clan
SIGN    The Manyu Clan
[01:10] Narrator
    The Manyu Clan.
[01:13] Narrator
    Manyu-Style Swordsmanship passes through
    the body, severing only the breasts.
[01:17] Narrator
    The clan's secret scroll is said to
    contain techniques for growing
[01:21] Narrator
    massive, beautiful breasts
    gathered from all around the world.
SIGN    Manyu Scroll
SIGN    The Bum and the Boobs
[03:00] Man
    Here's yer meal.
SIGN    The Bum and the Boobs
[03:01] Chifusa
    Oh, thanks.
[03:03] Boss
    Good work, Chifusa-dono.
[03:06] Boss
    You're getting the hang of being a dealer.
[03:10] Chifusa
    Aww, thanks.
[03:11] Boss
    You don't make much money running
    a gambling hall out here in the country.
[03:15] Boss
    That's why it's great to have
    a pretty lady around.
[03:18] Boss
    Business has been booming
    since you came here!
[03:21] Chifusa
    I really appreciate you
    giving me a place to stay.
[03:25] Chifusa
    As you can see, my friend here...
[03:28] Osuzu
    Don't worry about a thing.
[03:29] Osuzu
    Right, Grandfather?
[03:31] Boss
    She saved my granddaughter, Osuzu.
[03:35] Boss
    Of course I'm going to
    make sure she gets better.
[03:37] Boss
    And...
[03:41] Boss
    We all need someone
    to help us out once in a while.
[03:48] Chifusa
    Kaede, how do you feel?
[03:50] Kaede
    Chifusa-sama, you meanie!
[03:53] Kaede
    You could share a little of
    your boobs with me, right?
[04:01] (Flashback) Kaede
    I'm sure there's gotta be
    something in that scroll
[04:04] (Flashback) Kaede
    about how to share your tits with someone.
[04:06] (Flashback) Chifusa
    If there was, I would've done it already.
[04:09] (Flashback) Chifusa
    Do you realize how heavy these things are?
[04:15] (Flashback) Chifusa
    What's wrong?
[04:18] (Flashback) Osuzu
    M-Monsters!
[04:21] (Flashback) Chifusa
    Wh-What the heck is that?
[04:23] (Flashback) Kaede
    Chifusa-sama, I'll handle this!
[04:26] (Flashback) Chifusa
    Are you okay?
[04:27] (Flashback) Osuzu
    Y-Yes...
[04:30] (Flashback) Chifusa
    Kaede!
[04:35] (Flashback) Kaede
    Chifusa-sama, help me!
[04:46] Chifusa
    What was that thing, though?
[04:50] Osuzu
    Actually, the monsters were saying something!
[04:55] Chifusa
    What was it?
[04:57] Osuzu
    Fu...
[04:59] Chifusa
    Fu?
[05:01] Osuzu
    Funbags!
[05:02] Osuzu
    The monsters were shouting "Funbags!
    Funbags!" over and over again!
[05:07] Chifusa
    Breasts again?
[05:09] Boss
    So the monsters were after your breasts?
[05:13] Boss
    We'll have to deal with them, then?
[05:16] Yasuke
    Damn it, I lost again!
[05:18] Yasuke
    Screw this place!
[05:20] Yasuke
    I never win here!
[05:22] Yasuke
    I bet that's 'cause you're cheating!
[05:24] Man
    What did you say?
[05:26] Yasuke
    You want to fight?
[05:27] Boss
    You again, Yasuke?
[05:30] Boss
    Everyone's having a good time.
[05:32] Boss
    You shouldn't spoil their fun just
    because you're on a losing streak.
[05:36] Yasuke
    Shut up, you damned old man!
[05:39] Boss
    Get him out of here!
[05:40] Yasuke
    What? Huh?
[05:42] Yasuke
    Let me go!
[05:43] Chifusa
    Who's that man?
[05:44] Boss
    Oh, that's Yasuke.
[05:47] Boss
    He's a fine chef.
[05:49] Boss
    A hard worker. Honest.
[05:52] Boss
    I used to really respect him.
[05:54] Boss
    But two years ago, he lost his wife, the girl
    with the biggest melons in the village.
[05:59] Boss
    And since then,
    his life's been on the downhill.
[06:05] Boss
    That boy...
[06:07] Boss
    Osuzu, where are you going?
[06:09] Yasuke
    Oww!
[06:11] Men
    Calm down before you come back!
[06:13] Yasuke
    Don't treat your customers like crap!
[06:15] Yasuke
    I'll remember this, damn it!
[06:19] Osuzu
    Yasuke-san!
[06:24] Yasuke
    O-Osuzu-chan...
[06:25] Osuzu
    I believe in you.
[06:28] Osuzu
    I know you can overcome this tragedy...
[06:31] Osuzu
    I believe in you!
[06:35] Yasuke
    Hmph!
[06:36] Yasuke
    Forget you!
[06:38] Chifusa
    Losing his wife made him
    stop caring about himself, too?
[06:42] Chifusa
    Poor man...
[06:44] Osuzu
    I think he blames himself.
[06:48] Osuzu
    He thinks his wife's death is his fault—
[06:51] Osuzu
    that even though they had four kids,
[06:53] Osuzu
    he made her work too hard
    instead of staying at home.
[06:56] Chifusa
    You're awfully defensive of him.
[06:58] Osuzu
    I am not!
[06:59] Chifusa
    Hey!
[07:07] Yasuke
    Damn it...
[07:09] Yasuke
    Next time, I'll show them.
[07:11] Chifusa
    Stealing from a shrine to fund
    your gambling, huh?
[07:13] Yasuke
    Wh-Who's there?
[07:15] Chifusa
    It's time to wake up.
[07:18] Chifusa
    Your wife's crying in the afterlife.
[07:21] Yasuke
    You're the dealer...
[07:24] Yasuke
    Oh, so that's it.
[07:26] Yasuke
    I've figured it out.
[07:28] Chifusa
    Figured what out?
[07:30] Yasuke
    My guess is...
[07:31] Chifusa
    Your guess is...
[07:34] Yasuke
    You're using your cans to cheat!
[07:37] Chifusa
    I am not!
[07:38] Yasuke
    Right.
[07:40] Chifusa
    I heard what happened.
    You have kids, don't you?
[07:44] Chifusa
    Why are you spending
    all day at a gambling house?
[07:47] Yasuke
    You wouldn't understand.
[07:50] Yasuke
    I tried my best to move on.
[07:53] Yasuke
    But nothing's gone right since her death.
[07:58] Yasuke
    She was special to me.
[08:02] Yasuke
    "Titanic tits are a sign of wealth."
[08:04] Yasuke
    When I lost her breasts,
    I lost all my wealth, too.
[08:08] Chifusa
    Don't blame the boobs.
[08:10] Chifusa
    You're just being a loser.
[08:12] Yasuke
    Maybe you're right.
[08:14] Yasuke
    But if you knew how my luck's changed,
    you'd feel the same way.
[08:20] Yasuke
    Hey, do you want to marry me?
[08:24] Chifusa
    N-No way!
[08:27] Yasuke
    I'm kidding.
[08:29] Yasuke
    I'm not willing to settle for anyone
    just 'cause they've got big hooters.
[08:32] Yasuke
    Man, I miss those cans, though.
[08:37] Chifusa
    Osuzu-san was worried about you, too.
[09:05] (Flashback) Kids
    Mommy, do the boob buns for us!
[09:07] (Flashback) Kids
    Do it! Do it!
[09:09] (Flashback) Mom
    Oh, you kids are so spoiled.
[09:12] (Flashback) Mom
    Here we go.
[09:14] (Flashback) Mom
    Here. Boob buns!
[09:17] (Flashback) Mom
    Don't cry when they're pressed against you.
[09:19] (Flashback) Mom
    Boob buns!
[09:20] (Flashback) Mom
    Don't cry when they're pressed against you.
[09:23] (Flashback) Kids
    Mom's boobs are so soft!
[09:25] (Flashback) Kids
    Hey, Ofuji!
[09:26] (Flashback) Kids
    We're opening for the day!
[09:28] (Flashback) Mom
    Okay, honey!
[09:33] (Flashback) Customers
    Ofuji-san, your boobs are
    as great as ever today!
[09:36] (Flashback) Customers
    They're wasted on a guy like Yasuke.
[09:39] (Flashback) Mom
    Thank you.
[09:41] (Flashback) Mom
    But I couldn't have these breasts
    without my husband and kids.
[09:46] (Flashback) Customers
    Aww, now I'm jealous.
[09:49] (Flashback) Customers
    I'll have another drink. Hot sake.
[09:52] (Flashback) Mom
    Thanks!
[09:53] (Flashback) Mom
    Honey, give me some hot sake!
[09:54] (Flashback) Yasuke
    Right!
[10:01] (Flashback) Customers
    What's wrong, Ofuji-san?
[10:02] (Flashback) Customers
    Ofuji-san!
[10:03] (Flashback) Customers
    Wake up, Ofuji-san!
[10:09] Yasuke
    Ofuji...
[10:14] Kaede
    Aww, I'm so ashamed!
[10:17] Chifusa
    How are you feeling?
[10:18] Kaede
    My head hurts a little.
[10:21] Kaede
    I had a nice dream, though!
[10:24] Kaede
    A dream where I got rid
    of my attachment to breasts
[10:26] Kaede
    and vowed to serve you anew!
[10:32] Chifusa
    You don't need them anymore, huh?
[10:32] Kaede
    I mean it!
[10:34] Osuzu
    I'll bring you some more medicine later.
[10:39] Chifusa
    Osuzu-san, I'll go with you.
[10:41] Osuzu
    You stay with Kaede-sama, Chifusa-sama.
[10:43] Chifusa
    You're the one who's helping her, though.
[10:47] Chifusa
    And those monsters are still out there.
[10:52] Osuzu
    Here, see these clusters
    of small, white flowers?
[10:57] Osuzu
    If you boil them and drink
    the water, you heal faster.
[11:00] Chifusa
    So we pick these, huh?
[11:02] Chifusa
    Got it.
[11:10] Chifusa
    There's a whole bunch down there!
[11:11] Chifusa
    Okay!
[11:17] Chifusa
    Just a little more!
[11:25] Chifusa
    Sheesh...
[11:26] Chifusa
    They're so much bigger now, it's harder
    to know how to move around with them.
[11:44] Monsters
    Funbags. Funbags.
[11:47] Monsters
    Funbags. Funbags.
[11:50] Chifusa
    Stupid boobs! Stupid boobs!
[11:53] Chifusa
    Stupid—
[11:54] Chifusa
    Osuzu-san!
[11:55] Osuzu
    Help me!
[11:56] Chifusa
    I'm on my way!
[12:05] Monsters
    Funbags. Funbags.
[12:10] Monsters
    Funbags. Funbags.
[12:17] Chifusa
    Osuzu-san!
[12:23] Boss
    Oh, Osuzu! You're awake!
[12:27] Osuzu
    Grandfather!
[12:28] Boss
    What happened, Osuzu?
[12:30] Boss
    What did those monsters do to you?
[12:33] Osuzu
    I'm scared to even remember it!
[12:36] Osuzu
    Those four hairy monsters surrounded me, and...
[12:40] All
    Surrounded you, and...?
[12:42] Osuzu
    They all got close to me, and...
[12:44] All
    They all got close to you, and...?
[12:45] Osuzu
    They did all kinds of horrible things to me!
[12:55] All
    And then? And then?
[12:56] All
    And then what happened?
[13:00] Kaede
    Chifusa-sama...
[13:02] Chifusa
    I couldn't protect her.
[13:05] Chifusa
    I was there, and I couldn't help her...
[13:09] Kaede
    Chifusa-sama, we've got to...
[13:12] Chifusa
    Yes. I'll get my revenge on those monsters!
[13:15] Boss
    Search the mountains!
[13:17] Boss
    I won't forgive them for what they did to
    those breasts—I mean, to my granddaughter!
[13:22] Boss
    Get ready, men!
[13:23] All
    Yes, boss!
[13:24] Boss
    So, as you heard, everyone...
[13:27] Boss
    We'll be closing for the day.
    I'm sure you all understand.
[13:30] Osuzu
    Grandfather...
[13:32] Boss
    Don't worry. I'll get revenge for you.
[13:36] Boss
    Just wait here.
[13:38] Osuzu
    But I don't feel safe alone.
[13:40] Boss
    Of course.
[13:43] Boss
    Yasuke. You protect Osuzu!
[13:46] Yasuke
    Wh-Why me?
[13:47] Boss
    I didn't ask for your opinion!
[13:50] Boss
    Show me the man you used to be!
[13:53] Boss
    Listen, if anything happens
    to Osuzu, you'll regret it.
[14:02] Chifusa
    Kaede, be careful out.
[14:05] Kaede
    I'll be fine!
[14:06] Kaede
    We have to make them pay for the
    horrible things they did to Osuzu-san!
[14:12] Chifusa
    What specifically did they do?
[14:14] Kaede
    I'm too embarrassed to say it
    in a loud voice, so...
[14:18] Kaede
    Lend me your ear.
[14:24] Chifusa
    Is that what they did?!
[14:27] Kaede
    Oww! She didn't actually say, though!
[14:30] Woodcutter
    They're lesbian lovers.
[14:32] Men
    There!
[14:34] Boss
    After them! After them!
[14:36] Kaede
    Be careful! Those monsters...
[14:39] Man
    Help!
[14:41] Kaede
    ...set traps.
[14:44] Boss
    We won't let this stop us!
[14:45] Boss
    After them!
[14:52] Boss
    Ch-Chifusa-dono, it's up to you now.
[14:56] Chifusa
    R-Right.
[14:58] Monsters
    Funbags... Funbags...
[15:00] Chifusa/Kaede
    Wait, wait...
[15:05] Chifusa
    Let's just pretend we didn't see that.
[15:08] Kaede
    'Kay.
[15:11] Chifusa
    We lost them.
[15:13] Chifusa
    They can't be that far...
[15:16] Monsters
    Funbags. Funbags.
[15:19] Monsters
    Funbags. Funbags.
[15:22] Monsters
    Funbags. Funbags.
[15:25] Monsters
    Funbags! Funbags!
[15:31] Kaede
    Wh-What?
[15:33] Monsters
    No funbags. No fun.
[15:41] Monsters
    Funbags! Funbags!
[15:42] Monsters
    Bouncy! Bouncy!
[15:44] Monsters
    Boom! Boom!
[15:47] Monsters
    Bounce!
[15:48] Monsters
    Boobies!
[15:49] Monsters
    Feel 'em!
[15:51] Chifusa
    Enough of your crap!
[15:57] Chifusa
    Now, let's see what's under those hoods.
[16:02] Kaede
    Kids?
[16:05] Chifusa
    What you did went way beyond a prank.
[16:10] Chifusa
    Why did you do this?
[16:13] Kids
    'Cause we missed Mom's boobs.
[16:18] Kids
    They were the biggest in the village.
[16:21] Kids
    Big and soft... But she died two years ago.
[16:26] Chifusa
    Two years ago?
[16:28] Chifusa
    Then you're Yasuke's kids?
[16:30] Kids
    Dad gambles all day now,
[16:32] Kids
    and it feels like we're going
    to forget Mom's breasts...
[16:36] Kids
    and how soft they were.
[16:40] Chifusa
    A mother's breasts, huh?
[16:46] (Flashback) Chikumi
    Chifusa?
[16:48] (Flashback) Chikumi
    Oh, what's wrong?
[16:50] (Flashback) Chifusa
    Kagefusa... Kagefusa...
[16:53] (Flashback) Chikumi
    Another fight?
[16:55] (Flashback) Chikumi
    Oh, fine.
[16:57] (Flashback) Chikumi
    She's a daughter of the main family.
[17:00] (Flashback) Chikumi
    You'll just have to put up with it.
[17:04] (Flashback) Chifusa
    Mother, Kagefusa uses her sword.
[17:08] (Flashback) Chikumi
    Yes. She's part of the Manyu main family.
[17:12] (Flashback) Chifusa
    I want to learn how to use a sword from you.
[17:15] (Flashback) Chifusa
    I want to be strong, so nobody bullies me!
[17:18] (Flashback) Chikumi
    No.
[17:19] (Flashback) Chikumi
    You need to grow up to become
    a delicate, reserved lady
[17:22] (Flashback) Chikumi
    and live in peace.
[17:25] (Flashback) Chikumi
    That's what your mother wants.
[17:30] Kaede
    Chifusa-sama! Chifusa-sama!
[17:33] Kaede
    What do we do with these brats?
[17:36] Kaede
    I know they miss their mom,
    but they're going too far, right?
[17:41] Chifusa
    R-Right...
[17:44] Chifusa
    What you did was very wrong.
[17:49] Chifusa
    But...
[17:51] Chifusa
    I can sympathize with children who sought
    out breasts because they missed their mother.
[17:56] Chifusa
    I'll go with you, so first, let's apologize.
[18:02] Kaede
    Chifusa-sama...
[18:04] Chifusa
    Now, if you swear you'll never
    do anything like this again,
[18:07] Chifusa
    you can play with my breasts all you want.
[18:10] Kids
    Yay! Funbags! Funbags! Funbags!
[18:15] Kids
    Funbags! Funbags!
[18:17] Chifusa
    Wait! Don't be so forceful!
[18:20] Kids
    Funbags! Funbags! Funbags!
[18:21] Chifusa
    Hey, that's going too far... Stop it!
[18:29] Chifusa
    N-No, you're sucking too hard!
[18:34] Chifusa
    Stop it!
[18:35] Chifusa
    Who's using their tongue?!
[18:45] Kaede
    Chifusa-sama, you okay?
[18:50] Chifusa
    No one will want to marry me now...
[18:53] Kaede
    It's just innocent kids having fun.
[18:55] Kaede
    Come on...
[18:56] Kaede
    Wait, Chifusa-sama! Your eyes! Your eyes!
[19:02] Chifusa
    It's that man's fault his kids
    are such a mess, anyway!
[19:06] Chifusa
    This time, I'm going to give him
    one hell of a talking-to!
[19:11] Yasuke
    They're late. They're way too late.
[19:19] Yasuke
    Osuzu-san, I'm going to take a look.
[19:22] Osuzu
    Wait!
[19:25] Yasuke
    S-Sorry! I didn't mean—
[19:29] Osuzu
    No...
[19:34] Osuzu
    I know you can't forget your wife, Ofuji-san...
[19:42] Osuzu
    I know I can never be as good as she is.
[19:46] Osuzu
    But... But I...
[19:53] Yasuke
    O-Osuzu-chan!
[19:56] Osuzu
    Yasuke-san!
[19:58] Yasuke
    Osuzu-chan!
[19:59] Yasuke
    Osuzu-chan!
[20:08] Yasuke
    I see...
[20:09] Yasuke
    So it was my kids who attacked Osuzu-chan.
[20:13] Yasuke
    Sorry.
[20:14] Osuzu
    No, it's okay.
[20:17] Osuzu
    Kids, from now on, you can
    think of me as your mother.
[20:21] Yasuke
    Osuzu-chan!
[20:23] Kids
    Yay! Boobs!
[20:26] Yasuke
    Okay, I'm done gambling!
[20:28] Yasuke
    I guess boobs do bring me luck!
[20:31] Yasuke
    Starting tomorrow, I'm back to work!
[20:34] Kaede
    Chifusa-sama, were we
    actually useful for anything?
[20:39] Chifusa
    I don't know.
[20:42] Kids
    Bye-bye!
[20:44] Boss
    Thanks again!
[20:47] Chifusa
    So in the end, it was all about breasts.
[20:49] Kaede
    I feel kind of sick.
[20:53] Chifusa
    But...
[20:55] Chifusa
    I miss my own mother's soft breasts, too.
[21:03] Yasuke
    It's nice inside, too.
[21:05] Yasuke
    Here? Is this where you like it?
[21:08] Osuzu
    Yasuke-san, you're so naughty.
[21:12] Boss
    Osuzu... Osuzu...
[21:17] Kagefusa
    I heard Chifusa stayed here.
[21:20] Kagefusa
    Where did she go?
[21:22] Boss
    I-I don't know.
[21:25] Kagefusa
    I asked where she went.
[21:28] Kagefusa
    Tell me!
[23:11] Kagefusa
    I've finally found you, Chifusa!
[23:13] Kagefusa
    I shall avenge my severed breasts
    and take back the scroll!
[23:17] Chifusa
    I don't want to fight. But if you insist...
[23:22] Kaede
    Chifusa-sama, watch out!
[23:24] Chifusa
    Next time on Manyu Scroll:
    "Kagefusa, Once More."
SIGN    Next Time
SIGN    Kagefusa, Once More
[23:28] Chifusa
    A heart that wavers means boobs that bounce!
[23:32] Kaede
    I wish I had boobs that could bounce...