E2 - Idea 2
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Nar
In the beginning, God created
the heavens and the earth.
[00:07] Nar
He followed them
[00:11] Nar
with light, waters, and the land.
[00:15] Nar
Then he created the many animals
that would inhabit it.
[00:21] Nar
Or... that was the plan.
[00:23] Nar
It got too tedious, so he outsourced it.
SIGN Heaven's Design Team
[02:06] Kim
What is that?
[02:07] Shi
A-An insect!
[02:08] Kana
Why is that thing here?! Someone take that
thing to the insect department, now!
[02:13] Shi
It's coming this way!
[02:15] Kan
No!
[02:18] Ued
Oh, you escaped from the insect department,
you naughty thing.
[02:22] Kim
Catching something that fast with her bare
hands shows that Ueda-san really is an angel.
[02:27] Shi
I can't do that.
[02:29] Ued
Shimoda-kun, you haven't been to
the insect department yet, right?
[02:31] Ued
It's the door over there.
I'll introduce you.
[02:34] Shi
O-Oh, all right.
[02:36] Shi
I guess the insect department
will be full of insects.
SIGN Insect Department
[02:42] Ued
Hello, everyone.
[02:45] Ina
Hey, Ueda-san.
[02:46] Inb
Hey, Ueda-san.
[02:47] Inc
Oh, Ueda-san!
[02:48] Ind
It's Ueda-san!
[02:49] Ine
It's Ueda-san!
[02:50] Ued
This little dear was outside.
[02:52] Ina
We're terribly sorry that you had
to bother yourself with this.
[02:57] Inb
We're in the middle of
miniaturizing this guy.
[03:00] Shi
You're miniaturizing an insect?
[03:02] Inc
Yes, we're going to scale this 70-centimeter
dragonfly down to one tenth of its size.
[03:06] Shi
I just realized they have
huge bags under their eyes!
[03:09] All
We will make it seven centimeters.
[03:11] Ued
As always, your technical abilities
are perversely good.
[03:16] All
Thank you!
[03:17] Shi
Is "perverse" praise, though?
[03:20] Ued
Now you know where
the insect department is.
[03:22] Shi
Yes. I'm not sure if they were
unique or the exact opposite.
[03:26] Ued
Our company also has a rock department,
a plant department, and—
[03:32] Kan
I-I touched it! It's over...
[03:35] Shi
Venus-san?!
[03:36] Kan
Ah, if I have to go, I wish I could have
died in bigger, stronger arms...
[03:42] Ued
Oh, what a cute yellow frog.
SIGN Poison Dart Frog
[03:46] Kan
Don't touch it! It may be small,
but its poison is lethal!
[03:49] Shi
Huh? But didn't you
just say you touched it?
[03:51] Kan
My vision's going faint.
Please, hold my hand.
[03:56] Shi
Venus-san!
[03:59] Ued
But the poison...
[04:00] Mei
It's fine. This poisonous frog accumulates
poison by eating ants and mites.
[04:06] Mei
This one was just made, so it hasn't
eaten anything. It's just a frog.
[04:10] Shi
Phew!
[04:11] Kan
I was terrified.
[04:13] Kan
But now that I look at it,
it has a lovely pattern.
[04:17] Mei
Look!
[04:18] Mei
See, when the eggs hatch...
[04:22] Shi
Oh, it puts its children on its back.
[04:25] Kan
Cute!
[04:26] Ued
Oh, I wonder where it's going.
[04:30] Mei
To a small pool of water with no predators.
[04:33] Shi
If it's a small pool of water,
won't these babies lack food?
[04:37] Mei
They won't.
[04:39] Mei
The eggs that the mother laid are there.
[04:42] Both
Cannibalism?!
[04:44] Shi
W-Wasn't there any other way?
[04:46] Mei
Why? Isn't it so cute?
[04:49] Shi
C-Cute?
[04:51] Ued
God has approved that one,
so it's already on earth.
[04:55] Ued
Pluto-chan's specialty is
frogs and other cute things.
[04:58] Shi
Cute?
[05:00] Ued
That reminds me... A new order
from God came in, right?
[05:04] Shi
Ah, right.
[05:05] Shi
I believe it was for an animal
that's "cute, but not cute."
[05:09] Kan
As always, so vague!
[05:11] Kan
I bet this'll be one we have
to redo again and again!
[05:13] Shi
I-It'll be fine. God trusts you guys.
[05:18] Shi
The word is that "the design is up to you."
[05:21] Kan
There has never, ever been a case where the
client said it was up to us and meant it!
[05:26] Kan
Those abstract requests
are the absolute worst!
[05:29] Kan
I swear, the answer is always
"that's not quite it."
[05:31] Kan
Don't just drop it on our lap without
even giving it a single thought!
[05:33] Shi
I'm s-sorry!
[05:35] Mei
I'll do it.
[05:36] Ued
Oh, Pluto-chan's going to make
something that's not cute? That's exciting.
SIGN A Few Days Later...
[05:43] Shi
Hello.
[05:44] Shi
Pluto-san, how's your progress?
[05:46] Mei
Good. I came up with something really cute!
[05:49] Shi
Oh really? What's it like?
[05:51] Mei
Well, it's a thin, long, water-loving
parasite that can take over animals' brains.
[05:59] Mei
Then the infected animal walks to the pool
where the parasite lives, and drowns there.
[06:05] Mei
That'll be food for the parasite's children.
[06:07] Shi
Th-That's not cute.
[06:09] Kan
Excuse me, Pluto-chan?
The idea is revolutionary,
[06:13] Kan
but don't you think that the balance between
cute and not-cute is a bit skewed?
[06:17] Mei
I guess I can't just stuff
it full of cute elements.
[06:21] Kan
I mean you have to consider
the size problem, too.
[06:23] Kan
If it's supposed to infect animal brains,
it has to be really tiny.
[06:27] Shi
Oh, if you need to miniaturize it,
how about taking it to the insect department?
[06:31] Shi
They might be able to give you some help.
[06:33] Mei
I'll go!
SIGN Insect Department
[06:38] Shi
God has spoken!
[06:40] Mei
This is it, thanks!
[06:42] Ina
Oh, sure!
[06:43] Inb
Is that an insect?
SIGN Horsehair Worm
[06:45] God
Accepted!
SIGN Accepted
[06:48] Mei
So cute!
SIGN Days Later
[06:52] Shi
Hello. Uh—
[06:55] Shi
What's happening in here?
[06:58] Ued
Pluto-chan has really hit her stride.
[07:03] Kan
I wanted to discuss something with her, too,
but she's been like this the entire time.
[07:07] Kim
Her focus is impressive.
[07:09] Ued
Please make sure not to interrupt her.
[07:12] Miz
Yeah, when she gets like this,
Pluto always creates great stuff.
[07:16] Mei
One p•n•s... No, that's not it.
It'll be cooler to have two p•n•ses.
[07:22] Uie
Oh, nice idea.
[07:25] Mei
Its food will be poison. It'll eat poison.
[07:28] Mei
Offspring cannibalizing
each other is old hat.
[07:31] Mei
Poop! They'll grow up
eating poop! That's it!
SIGN And then...
[07:37] Mei
It's done!
[07:39] Mei
Thank you for your help, Neptune-san.
[07:42] Una
I'm glad I was able to help.
[07:44] Shi
Y-You finished it?
[07:46] Mei
Will you come to my presentation?
[07:49] Mei
The client's order was
"cute, but not cute."
[07:52] Mei
That's why I stuffed it full
of what I find "cute."
[07:55] Mei
First, it eats poisonous plants.
It doesn't eat anything else.
[08:00] Mei
I borrowed Neptune-san's idea and added the
same pouch function that kangaroos have.
[08:05] Mei
But I reversed it, so the baby
can eat their mother's poop.
[08:10] Mei
And I made the male's p•n•s
cool by doubling it up.
[08:15] Ued
Oh my, that's so cute.
[08:18] Shi
My understanding of "cute" is eroding.
[08:22] Mei
Its pupils are vertical slits.
[08:24] Mei
It has sharp nails on its fingers.
[08:26] Mei
And a deathly voice for intimidation.
[08:29] Mei
Since all of these elements are very cute,
I made its exterior not cute at all!
[08:36] Shi
God has spoken!
[08:37] God
Accepted!
SIGN Accepted
SIGN Koala
[08:39] Mei
See, isn't its appearance just so meh?
[08:42] Una
Huh?
[08:43] Kan
We don't quite agree,
but I guess it fit the order.
SIGN The Illustrated Guide to Creatures That Really Exist
[08:47] Ken
The Illustrated Guide to Creatures
That Really Exist!
[08:52] Kan
With its poison and little nutritional value,
[08:55] Kan
eucalyptus is a plant that's trying
to have no appeal as food.
[08:58] Mei
Koalas are hardcore and eat only that.
[09:01] Mei
If they eat something nobody else eats,
they have no competition.
[09:05] Kan
In order to digest that, they have a
lot of microbes in their gut, right?
[09:09] Mei
Yes, the reason the children
eat their mother's poop
[09:12] Mei
is to inherit the gut microbes
that can digest the eucalyptus.
[09:16] Mei
Oh, right, do you want to hear
what a koala sounds like?
[09:21] Kan
That's more intense than I expected.
How did it end up like this?
[09:25] Mei
Since their food has so few nutrients,
they don't want to move.
[09:28] Mei
So they've come to fight
using only their voices.
[09:31] Mei
They're already exhausted just
from digesting eucalyptus.
[09:36] Kan
This one's really pushing it.
[09:47] Tsu
It's so elegant!
[09:49] Tsu
A single long and beautiful horn,
added to peerless functional beauty.
[09:55] Tsu
This must be what the client wants for their
"animal that has a cool weapon" order!
SIGN Rejected
[10:04] Tsu
Why?
[10:06] Hig
Osteoporosis.
[10:07] Shi
So it didn't collapse due to cerebral
anemia like the long-necked deer.
[10:11] Hig
It's a calcium deficiency.
[10:13] Tsu
But I just added this
super-cool horn to the horse!
[10:17] Shi
Chief Saturn never gives up.
[10:19] Tsu
I figured if Jupiter-kun's deer is okay,
the horse would be fine, too.
SIGN Accepted
SIGN Elk
[10:25] Miz
Why does only the horse
get osteoporosis, though?
[10:28] Hig
The elk has it, too.
[10:30] Shi
Really?
[10:32] Kim
Yes, but apparently deer are fine because
they're equipped with multiple stomachs.
[10:37] Kim
Saturn-san's horse only
has one stomach, so...
[10:40] Miz
In other words, the difference
is in nutrient absorption.
[10:43] Shi
I see.
[10:44] Hig
If you don't have a calcium reserve,
you can't make something this extravagant.
[10:49] Shi
It's extravagant?
[10:50] Hig
Of course.
SIGN Horse
SIGN Deer
[10:51] Hig
Animal bones are like houses
made of calcium bricks.
[10:55] Hig
Horns are made by borrowing
bricks from the house.
[10:59] Shi
Ah, that's why the house
itself is dilapidated.
[11:03] Hig
But deer can eat a ton of
food and repair the house.
[11:07] Hig
A horse has a weak stomach, so it doesn't
have the energy to repair the house.
[11:13] Miz
That example was kind of horrible.
[11:16] Kim
There, there...
[11:17] Shi
I see, animals with strong
stomachs are robust.
[11:20] Mei
Their poop also looks markedly different.
[11:23] Kim
Since the deer properly absorb nutrients,
[11:25] Kim
their food's original shape
cannot be discerned in their poop.
SIGN Horse
SIGN Deer
[11:28] Kim
But with horse poop, that's often possible.
[11:30] Mei
Want to see?
[11:31] Shi
I'm f-fine.
[11:33] Hig
Chief, if you really insist on this horn...
[11:38] Hig
how about sticking it on a cow?
[11:40] Tsu
No. It's not beautiful! It's only
beautiful because it's on a horse.
[11:45] Tsu
Can't you do something, Mars-san?
[11:48] Shi
When did he produce this many drafts?!
[11:50] Hig
These are just different color variations!
[11:53] Miz
But you know, I'd like to see
this horned horse run on earth.
[11:58] Tsu
Mercury-kun!
[12:00] Miz
How about making the horn hollow, to reduce
the amount of calcium that's needed?
[12:05] Miz
Like when Venus was designing the birds.
[12:07] Tsu
That's it! Let's prototype that right now!
[12:12] Tsu
Beautiful!
SIGN Unicorn
SIGN Rejected
[12:22] Hig
It's malnutrition.
[12:24] Hig
Looks like it didn't have sufficient
energy to make this huge horn.
[12:29] Tsu
It's always lacking something.
[12:31] Shi
It's not very efficient, huh?
[12:33] Hig
Should we make it a cow-like horse
with multiple stomachs?
[12:37] Tsu
No!
[12:40] Tsu
I know. Let's make it stupid.
[12:43] Tsu
The brain uses vast amounts of energy.
[12:46] Tsu
So let's make it stupid and divert
the excess energy to the horn.
[12:49] Hig
But...
[12:50] Miz
He's really a pursuer of beautiful design.
[12:52] Miz
Sometimes you need to make
drastic decisions like that!
SIGN Unicorn
[13:04] Tsu
It really is beautiful!
[13:05] Shi
It's not collapsing this time!
[13:09] Tsu
It's so elegant when it walks!
[13:12] Miz
It's pretty.
[13:16] Shi
Walk back! Backwards!
[13:18] Kim
Oh, no, it's pushing more.
[13:19] Hig
It's too dumb to know how
to pull out its horn!
[13:23] Miz
Watch out!
[13:30] Shi
This is no good.
[13:33] Miz
Wh-What if we put nerves into the horn?
[13:36] Miz
If it can feel it, it'll surely
treat the horn better!
[13:39] Tsu
Like teeth?
[13:40] Miz
Let's add some resilience, too,
so it doesn't break so easily!
[13:43] Hig
And keep it dumb?
SIGN Testing Island
Galapagos
[13:57] Tsu
B-Beautiful!
[13:58] Miz
I agree!
[13:59] Shi
You made so many prototypes.
[14:04] Whi
Watch where you're walking, you old fart.
[14:06] Bla
Huh? You wanna go, punk?!
[14:08] Whi
Bring it on!
[14:11] Shi
They're not going to fight, are they?
[14:13] Hig
It's fine, oversized weapons like horns
are basically just for intimidation.
[14:19] Shi
Um, they're totally fighting.
[14:30] Hig
Those horns are too frail
to be waved around like that.
[14:33] Kim
Another one's got its horn stuck in a tree.
SIGN Rejected
SIGN Rejected
SIGN Rejected
[14:41] God
Rejected!
[14:43] Shi
Th-They're all down?
[14:45] Tsu
I can't believe it.
[14:47] Miz
D-Don't worry, Saturn-san!
They'll be accepted one day for sure!
[14:53] Una
What is this horn? It's so cool.
[14:56] Tsu
Oh, that? It's from a
horse that got rejected.
[14:59] Una
May I try attaching it to an
animal I'm making right now?
[15:02] Tsu
Sure.
[15:06] Shi
God has spoken!
SIGN Accepted
SIGN Narwhal
[15:08] God
Accepted!
[15:10] ---
Why?!
SIGN The Illustrated Guide to Creatures That Really Exist
[15:12] Ken
The Illustrated Guide to Creatures
That Really Exist!
[15:16] Miz
These antlers can weigh up to 18 kilograms.
[15:20] Una
And they regrow every year. That must
consume a ton of energy and calcium.
[15:25] Miz
It actually leads to osteoporosis.
[15:27] Una
Then why do that?
[15:28] Miz
It's like showing off an unnecessarily
big car that's expensive to maintain.
[15:32] Miz
They're telling the females
and their rivals that
[15:34] Miz
they're so amazing that they can maintain
these unnecessarily big horns.
[15:38] Unan
So they can avoid unnecessary fights,
meaning their hard work pays off.
[15:42] Miz
What about this horn, though?
[15:45] Unz
It looks like a horn,
but it's a really long tooth.
[15:48] Unz
It's got nerve endings and can
even sense the temperature.
[15:51] Miz
So it's not just a meaningless decoration.
[15:57] Shi
Hello—
[16:00] Shi
What's happening? Why are
you all dressed like this?
[16:03] Ued
Oh just in time, Shimoda-kun.
[16:05] Kan
We're all going to Galapagos.
Hurry up and change!
[16:09] Miz
Neptune-san came up with
some new marine animals.
[16:13] Hig
Let's fire it up!
SIGN Pacific
White-Sided
Dolphin
SIGN Burmeister's
Porpoise
SIGN Beaked
Whale
SIGN Accepted
SIGN Accepted
SIGN Accepted
SIGN Accepted
SIGN Common
Bottlenose
Dolphin
SIGN Pilot Whale
SIGN Accepted
[16:19] God
Accepted!
[16:21] Shi
Wow, it's an acceptance jackpot!
[16:24] Kan
The client really likes these animals,
so all sorts of these designs passed.
[16:29] Kan
So we were all working on these together.
[16:32] Shi
But why is there a mix
of dolphins and whales?
[16:34] Kan
They're just different in size.
Otherwise, dolphins and whales are the same.
SIGN Striped
Dolphin
[16:38] God
Accepted!
SIGN Accepted
SIGN Spectacled
Porpoise
[16:40] God
Accepted!
SIGN Accepted
SIGN Kelpie
[16:41] God
Rejected!
SIGN Rejected
[16:43] Tsu
Oh, no! I worked so hard on that kelpie!
[16:46] Hig
What made you think that would work?
[16:48] Tus
I thought that it could maybe
slip by with the others.
[16:50] Una
The base for the dolphin
wasn't the horse, either.
[16:53] Shi
Oh, then what was it?
[16:55] Una
You want to know?
[16:56] Una
Okay, quiz time!
SIGN Migratory Bird
SIGN Seal
[16:57] Una
Which baby here is the base?
SIGN Hippopotamus
[16:59] Una
A: Seal.
[17:00] Una
B: Migratory bird.
[17:02] Una
C: Hippopotamus.
[17:03] Shi
Maybe the seal?
[17:05] Una
Too bad! The answer was C, the hippopotamus!
[17:10] Shi
Really?
[17:11] Shi
It looks quite different, though.
[17:13] Miz
I see. The eyes would be injured if they
are in the front when swimming fast,
[17:17] Miz
so you moved them to the side?
[17:18] Una
Right, and because it's cuter this way.
[17:22] Una
And the nose went this way.
[17:25] Miz
So the sea water doesn't flow in?
That's groundbreaking.
[17:28] Una
Yes, and because it's cuter this way.
[17:31] Una
And I took off the ears, too.
[17:32] Shi
Hippos can sleep on land, but dolphins
are always under water, right?
[17:37] Shi
Won't they sink?
[17:38] Una
That's why the brain was tweaked.
[17:41] Kan
We made the left and right
hemispheres of its brain independent,
[17:43] Kan
so they can take turns sleeping.
[17:45] Kan
So that's why they can
sleep without drowning.
SIGN Monkeys
and
such
[17:45] Txt
Left Hemisphere
[17:45] Txt
Right Hemisphere
SIGN Corpus Callosum
SIGN Optical Nerve
[17:45] Txt
Left Hemisphere
[17:45] Txt
Right Hemisphere
SIGN Dolphins
are like this
[17:47] Shi
Ah, so one half of the
brain is always awake!
[17:51] Kim
By the way, what do they eat?
[17:54] Una
Uh, well, squid and such.
[17:57] Mei
So it eats these cute babies I created.
[18:01] Shi
Pluto-san, aren't you
holding it upside down?
[18:04] Mei
This is the top.
[18:05] Mei
After the tentacles, there's the head,
then the body.
SIGN Head
SIGN Head
SIGN Body
SIGN Body
[18:09] Mei
Incidentally, it poops from
the side of its head.
[18:12] Una
Pluto-chan's imagination is really powerful.
[18:16] Mei
But since Neptune-san's dolphins are smart,
my babies get eaten a lot.
[18:20] Mei
I've decided! I'll make them talk, too!
I'll make them smart!
[18:24] Kan
You want to equip them
with vocal organs now?
[18:27] Mei
What about changing body color,
something like flag signaling?
[18:32] Kab
Would that be understood, though?
[18:33] Mei
Quiz! What is the meaning of this pattern?
[18:36] Kan
I think the testicles are there, so maybe...
[18:39] Kan
"I'm incredibly virile!"
[18:42] Mei
It worked! Ven-chan, you're amazing!
[18:45] Mei
And they show off something larger
than their actual testicles.
[18:48] Kan
I guess even squid are vain.
[18:50] Una
That's amazing. Pluto-chan can't be beat.
[18:54] Mei
They won't lose to dolphins!
[18:56] Mei
Squids have three hearts,
giving them more mobility!
[18:59] Mei
This way, they can escape into deep water,
where no light penetrates!
[19:02] Una
Huh, but... then, um... who cares
that it's deep water?
[19:06] Una
The dolphins will use echolocation to find
squid without needing light!
[19:10] Shi
Is this a fight?
[19:11] Hig
Oh, looks like this will be fun.
[19:15] Mei
Animal battle!
[19:17] Una
Survival of the fittest!
[19:18] Shi
The dolphin is going straight for the squid!
[19:21] Shi
But what is echolocation, anyway?
[19:23] Kim
Simply put, it's sensing distance and
direction using reflected sound waves.
[19:28] Mei
Smoke screen!
[19:31] Una
Are you sure squid ink will
do anything in the darkness?
[19:34] Mei
Then I'll evolve the smoke screen!
A smoke screen of light!
[19:39] Shi
It's like there are no rules anymore.
[19:41] Mei
And the squid itself will shine, too!
[19:43] Una
You're losing your touch, Pluto-chan!
[19:44] Una
In the ocean, the shinier you are,
the more visible you are!
[19:46] Mei
You're the one losing your touch!
[19:48] Mei
Rise up near the surface!
With the sun as the backdrop!
[19:51] Una
Wh-What the—?!
[19:53] Una
The squid disappeared in the sunlight!?
[19:56] Una
But we still have the
echolocation on our side!
[19:59] Una
Advance!
[20:02] Mei
Hidden Technique: Surface Escape Mega Jump!
SIGN Flying Squid
[20:06] Shi
It flew!
[20:07] Shi
Oh, so those fin-like things were wings.
[20:10] Ued
It's jumping by ejecting sea water!
[20:12] Kim
Good job!
[20:13] Kna
Both of you, keep going!
[20:14] Una
That's nothing! The dolphin will jump, too!
[20:18] Mei
Then I'll use my last resort!
[20:20] Mei
Giant squid upgrade!
[20:24] Una
I'll match you on that!
[20:29] Shi
God has spoken!
[20:30] God
Accepted!
SIGN Accepted
SIGN Giant
Squid
[20:34] Kan
No way, the big squid passed!
[20:36] Miz
Aha, the client's watching the battle, too.
[20:40] Una
Pluto-chan, you made me go all-out.
It was a good battle.
[20:47] Una
But it's time to end this.
[20:53] Una
Echolocation update! Ultrasonic beam!
[20:58] God
Accepted!
SIGN Accepted
SIGN Sperm
Whale
[21:06] Mei
No way! I can't believe your beam got accepted!
[21:09] Mei
Next time, I won't lose!
SIGN The Illustrated Guide to Creatures That Really Exist
[21:14] Ken
The Illustrated Guide to Creatures
That Really Exist!
[21:18] Shi
Total length: 18 meters!
[21:20] Tsu
That's about as long as a train car.
[21:22] Shi
Can such a large animal really
emit a beam from its head?
[21:26] Tsu
It can.
[21:27] Tsu
What's more, it can direct sound so
intense that it makes its prey faint.
[21:34] Shi
I can't quite imagine how.
[21:36] Tsu
A sperm whale can output
a maximum of 250 decibels.
[21:41] Tsu
For reference, a jet engine is about
120 decibels if you're standing next to it.
[21:46] Shi
Wow. The sperm whale must be
fighting really formidable foes!
[21:51] Shi
That's why it evolved to get
so big to deal with them!
[21:53] Tsu
Sperm whales often have scars on
their heads that are assumed to be
[21:58] Tsu
from battles with giant squid.
[21:59] Shi
So the ruthless battle between
these two is never going to end!
[22:04] Ued
God has spoken!
[22:06] God
Accepted!
SIGN Accepted
SIGN Sea Horse
[22:09] Tsu
Yay! When I made that kelpie from
earlier smaller, it passed!
[22:13] Ued
Congratulations.
SIGN Next on the Agenda
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