E2 - Idea 2 Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:02] Nar     In the beginning, God created     the heavens and the earth. [00:07] Nar     He followed them [00:11] Nar     with light, waters, and the land. [00:15] Nar     Then he created the many animals     that would inhabit it. [00:21] Nar     Or... that was the plan. [00:23] Nar     It got too tedious, so he outsourced it. SIGN    Heaven's Design Team [02:06] Kim     What is that? [02:07] Shi     A-An insect! [02:08] Kana     Why is that thing here?! Someone take that     thing to the insect department, now! [02:13] Shi     It's coming this way! [02:15] Kan     No! [02:18] Ued     Oh, you escaped from the insect department,     you naughty thing. [02:22] Kim     Catching something that fast with her bare     hands shows that Ueda-san really is an angel. [02:27] Shi     I can't do that. [02:29] Ued     Shimoda-kun, you haven't been to     the insect department yet, right? [02:31] Ued     It's the door over there.     I'll introduce you. [02:34] Shi     O-Oh, all right. [02:36] Shi     I guess the insect department     will be full of insects. SIGN    Insect Department [02:42] Ued     Hello, everyone. [02:45] Ina     Hey, Ueda-san. [02:46] Inb     Hey, Ueda-san. [02:47] Inc     Oh, Ueda-san! [02:48] Ind     It's Ueda-san! [02:49] Ine     It's Ueda-san! [02:50] Ued     This little dear was outside. [02:52] Ina     We're terribly sorry that you had     to bother yourself with this. [02:57] Inb     We're in the middle of     miniaturizing this guy. [03:00] Shi     You're miniaturizing an insect? [03:02] Inc     Yes, we're going to scale this 70-centimeter      dragonfly down to one tenth of its size. [03:06] Shi     I just realized they have     huge bags under their eyes! [03:09] All     We will make it seven centimeters. [03:11] Ued     As always, your technical abilities      are perversely good. [03:16] All     Thank you! [03:17] Shi     Is "perverse" praise, though? [03:20] Ued     Now you know where      the insect department is. [03:22] Shi     Yes. I'm not sure if they were     unique or the exact opposite. [03:26] Ued     Our company also has a rock department,     a plant department, and— [03:32] Kan     I-I touched it! It's over... [03:35] Shi     Venus-san?! [03:36] Kan     Ah, if I have to go, I wish I could have     died in bigger, stronger arms... [03:42] Ued     Oh, what a cute yellow frog. SIGN    Poison Dart Frog [03:46] Kan     Don't touch it! It may be small,     but its poison is lethal! [03:49] Shi     Huh? But didn't you      just say you touched it? [03:51] Kan     My vision's going faint.     Please, hold my hand. [03:56] Shi     Venus-san! [03:59] Ued     But the poison... [04:00] Mei     It's fine. This poisonous frog accumulates     poison by eating ants and mites. [04:06] Mei     This one was just made, so it hasn't     eaten anything. It's just a frog. [04:10] Shi     Phew! [04:11] Kan     I was terrified. [04:13] Kan     But now that I look at it,     it has a lovely pattern. [04:17] Mei     Look! [04:18] Mei     See, when the eggs hatch... [04:22] Shi     Oh, it puts its children on its back. [04:25] Kan     Cute! [04:26] Ued     Oh, I wonder where it's going. [04:30] Mei     To a small pool of water with no predators. [04:33] Shi     If it's a small pool of water,     won't these babies lack food? [04:37] Mei     They won't. [04:39] Mei     The eggs that the mother laid are there. [04:42] Both     Cannibalism?! [04:44] Shi     W-Wasn't there any other way? [04:46] Mei     Why? Isn't it so cute? [04:49] Shi     C-Cute? [04:51] Ued     God has approved that one,     so it's already on earth. [04:55] Ued     Pluto-chan's specialty is     frogs and other cute things. [04:58] Shi     Cute? [05:00] Ued     That reminds me... A new order     from God came in, right? [05:04] Shi     Ah, right. [05:05] Shi     I believe it was for an animal     that's "cute, but not cute." [05:09] Kan     As always, so vague! [05:11] Kan     I bet this'll be one we have      to redo again and again! [05:13] Shi     I-It'll be fine. God trusts you guys. [05:18] Shi     The word is that "the design is up to you." [05:21] Kan     There has never, ever been a case where the     client said it was up to us and meant it! [05:26] Kan     Those abstract requests     are the absolute worst! [05:29] Kan     I swear, the answer is always     "that's not quite it." [05:31] Kan     Don't just drop it on our lap without     even giving it a single thought! [05:33] Shi     I'm s-sorry! [05:35] Mei     I'll do it. [05:36] Ued     Oh, Pluto-chan's going to make     something that's not cute? That's exciting. SIGN    A Few Days Later... [05:43] Shi     Hello. [05:44] Shi     Pluto-san, how's your progress? [05:46] Mei     Good. I came up with something really cute! [05:49] Shi     Oh really? What's it like? [05:51] Mei     Well, it's a thin, long, water-loving     parasite that can take over animals' brains. [05:59] Mei     Then the infected animal walks to the pool     where the parasite lives, and drowns there. [06:05] Mei     That'll be food for the parasite's children. [06:07] Shi     Th-That's not cute. [06:09] Kan     Excuse me, Pluto-chan?     The idea is revolutionary, [06:13] Kan     but don't you think that the balance between     cute and not-cute is a bit skewed? [06:17] Mei     I guess I can't just stuff     it full of cute elements. [06:21] Kan     I mean you have to consider     the size problem, too. [06:23] Kan     If it's supposed to infect animal brains,      it has to be really tiny. [06:27] Shi     Oh, if you need to miniaturize it,     how about taking it to the insect department? [06:31] Shi     They might be able to give you some help. [06:33] Mei     I'll go! SIGN    Insect Department [06:38] Shi     God has spoken! [06:40] Mei     This is it, thanks! [06:42] Ina     Oh, sure! [06:43] Inb     Is that an insect? SIGN    Horsehair Worm [06:45] God     Accepted! SIGN    Accepted [06:48] Mei     So cute! SIGN    Days Later [06:52] Shi     Hello. Uh— [06:55] Shi     What's happening in here? [06:58] Ued     Pluto-chan has really hit her stride. [07:03] Kan     I wanted to discuss something with her, too,     but she's been like this the entire time. [07:07] Kim     Her focus is impressive. [07:09] Ued     Please make sure not to interrupt her. [07:12] Miz     Yeah, when she gets like this,     Pluto always creates great stuff. [07:16] Mei     One p•n•s... No, that's not it.     It'll be cooler to have two p•n•ses. [07:22] Uie     Oh, nice idea. [07:25] Mei     Its food will be poison. It'll eat poison. [07:28] Mei     Offspring cannibalizing     each other is old hat. [07:31] Mei     Poop! They'll grow up     eating poop! That's it! SIGN    And then... [07:37] Mei     It's done! [07:39] Mei     Thank you for your help, Neptune-san. [07:42] Una     I'm glad I was able to help. [07:44] Shi     Y-You finished it? [07:46] Mei     Will you come to my presentation? [07:49] Mei     The client's order was     "cute, but not cute." [07:52] Mei     That's why I stuffed it full     of what I find "cute." [07:55] Mei     First, it eats poisonous plants.     It doesn't eat anything else. [08:00] Mei     I borrowed Neptune-san's idea and added the     same pouch function that kangaroos have. [08:05] Mei     But I reversed it, so the baby     can eat their mother's poop. [08:10] Mei     And I made the male's p•n•s     cool by doubling it up. [08:15] Ued     Oh my, that's so cute. [08:18] Shi     My understanding of "cute" is eroding. [08:22] Mei     Its pupils are vertical slits. [08:24] Mei     It has sharp nails on its fingers. [08:26] Mei     And a deathly voice for intimidation. [08:29] Mei     Since all of these elements are very cute,     I made its exterior not cute at all! [08:36] Shi     God has spoken! [08:37] God     Accepted! SIGN    Accepted SIGN    Koala [08:39] Mei     See, isn't its appearance just so meh? [08:42] Una     Huh? [08:43] Kan     We don't quite agree,     but I guess it fit the order. SIGN    The Illustrated Guide to Creatures That Really Exist [08:47] Ken     The Illustrated Guide to Creatures     That Really Exist! [08:52] Kan     With its poison and little nutritional value, [08:55] Kan     eucalyptus is a plant that's trying     to have no appeal as food. [08:58] Mei     Koalas are hardcore and eat only that. [09:01] Mei     If they eat something nobody else eats,      they have no competition. [09:05] Kan     In order to digest that, they have a     lot of microbes in their gut, right? [09:09] Mei     Yes, the reason the children     eat their mother's poop [09:12] Mei     is to inherit the gut microbes     that can digest the eucalyptus. [09:16] Mei     Oh, right, do you want to hear     what a koala sounds like? [09:21] Kan     That's more intense than I expected.     How did it end up like this? [09:25] Mei     Since their food has so few nutrients,      they don't want to move. [09:28] Mei     So they've come to fight      using only their voices. [09:31] Mei     They're already exhausted just     from digesting eucalyptus. [09:36] Kan     This one's really pushing it. [09:47] Tsu     It's so elegant! [09:49] Tsu     A single long and beautiful horn,     added to peerless functional beauty. [09:55] Tsu     This must be what the client wants for their     "animal that has a cool weapon" order! SIGN    Rejected [10:04] Tsu     Why? [10:06] Hig     Osteoporosis. [10:07] Shi     So it didn't collapse due to cerebral     anemia like the long-necked deer. [10:11] Hig     It's a calcium deficiency. [10:13] Tsu     But I just added this     super-cool horn to the horse! [10:17] Shi     Chief Saturn never gives up. [10:19] Tsu     I figured if Jupiter-kun's deer is okay,     the horse would be fine, too. SIGN    Accepted SIGN    Elk [10:25] Miz     Why does only the horse     get osteoporosis, though? [10:28] Hig     The elk has it, too. [10:30] Shi     Really? [10:32] Kim     Yes, but apparently deer are fine because     they're equipped with multiple stomachs. [10:37] Kim     Saturn-san's horse only     has one stomach, so... [10:40] Miz     In other words, the difference      is in nutrient absorption. [10:43] Shi     I see. [10:44] Hig     If you don't have a calcium reserve,     you can't make something this extravagant. [10:49] Shi     It's extravagant? [10:50] Hig     Of course. SIGN    Horse SIGN    Deer [10:51] Hig     Animal bones are like houses     made of calcium bricks. [10:55] Hig     Horns are made by borrowing     bricks from the house. [10:59] Shi     Ah, that's why the house     itself is dilapidated. [11:03] Hig     But deer can eat a ton of     food and repair the house. [11:07] Hig     A horse has a weak stomach, so it doesn't     have the energy to repair the house. [11:13] Miz     That example was kind of horrible. [11:16] Kim     There, there... [11:17] Shi     I see, animals with strong     stomachs are robust. [11:20] Mei     Their poop also looks markedly different. [11:23] Kim     Since the deer properly absorb nutrients, [11:25] Kim     their food's original shape     cannot be discerned in their poop. SIGN    Horse SIGN    Deer [11:28] Kim     But with horse poop, that's often possible. [11:30] Mei     Want to see? [11:31] Shi     I'm f-fine. [11:33] Hig     Chief, if you really insist on this horn... [11:38] Hig     how about sticking it on a cow? [11:40] Tsu     No. It's not beautiful! It's only      beautiful because it's on a horse. [11:45] Tsu     Can't you do something, Mars-san? [11:48] Shi     When did he produce this many drafts?! [11:50] Hig     These are just different color variations! [11:53] Miz     But you know, I'd like to see     this horned horse run on earth. [11:58] Tsu     Mercury-kun! [12:00] Miz     How about making the horn hollow, to reduce     the amount of calcium that's needed? [12:05] Miz     Like when Venus was designing the birds. [12:07] Tsu     That's it! Let's prototype that right now! [12:12] Tsu     Beautiful! SIGN    Unicorn SIGN    Rejected [12:22] Hig     It's malnutrition. [12:24] Hig     Looks like it didn't have sufficient     energy to make this huge horn. [12:29] Tsu     It's always lacking something. [12:31] Shi     It's not very efficient, huh? [12:33] Hig     Should we make it a cow-like horse     with multiple stomachs? [12:37] Tsu     No! [12:40] Tsu     I know. Let's make it stupid. [12:43] Tsu     The brain uses vast amounts of energy. [12:46] Tsu     So let's make it stupid and divert     the excess energy to the horn. [12:49] Hig     But... [12:50] Miz     He's really a pursuer of beautiful design. [12:52] Miz     Sometimes you need to make     drastic decisions like that! SIGN    Unicorn [13:04] Tsu     It really is beautiful! [13:05] Shi     It's not collapsing this time! [13:09] Tsu     It's so elegant when it walks! [13:12] Miz     It's pretty. [13:16] Shi     Walk back! Backwards! [13:18] Kim     Oh, no, it's pushing more. [13:19] Hig     It's too dumb to know how     to pull out its horn! [13:23] Miz     Watch out! [13:30] Shi     This is no good. [13:33] Miz     Wh-What if we put nerves into the horn? [13:36] Miz     If it can feel it, it'll surely     treat the horn better! [13:39] Tsu     Like teeth? [13:40] Miz     Let's add some resilience, too,     so it doesn't break so easily! [13:43] Hig     And keep it dumb? SIGN    Testing Island      Galapagos [13:57] Tsu     B-Beautiful! [13:58] Miz     I agree! [13:59] Shi     You made so many prototypes. [14:04] Whi     Watch where you're walking, you old fart. [14:06] Bla     Huh? You wanna go, punk?! [14:08] Whi     Bring it on! [14:11] Shi     They're not going to fight, are they? [14:13] Hig     It's fine, oversized weapons like horns     are basically just for intimidation. [14:19] Shi     Um, they're totally fighting. [14:30] Hig     Those horns are too frail      to be waved around like that. [14:33] Kim     Another one's got its horn stuck in a tree. SIGN    Rejected SIGN    Rejected SIGN    Rejected [14:41] God     Rejected! [14:43] Shi     Th-They're all down? [14:45] Tsu     I can't believe it. [14:47] Miz     D-Don't worry, Saturn-san!     They'll be accepted one day for sure! [14:53] Una     What is this horn? It's so cool. [14:56] Tsu     Oh, that? It's from a     horse that got rejected. [14:59] Una     May I try attaching it to an     animal I'm making right now? [15:02] Tsu     Sure. [15:06] Shi     God has spoken! SIGN    Accepted SIGN    Narwhal [15:08] God     Accepted! [15:10] ---     Why?! SIGN    The Illustrated Guide to Creatures That Really Exist [15:12] Ken     The Illustrated Guide to Creatures     That Really Exist! [15:16] Miz     These antlers can weigh up to 18 kilograms. [15:20] Una     And they regrow every year. That must     consume a ton of energy and calcium. [15:25] Miz     It actually leads to osteoporosis. [15:27] Una     Then why do that? [15:28] Miz     It's like showing off an unnecessarily     big car that's expensive to maintain. [15:32] Miz     They're telling the females     and their rivals that [15:34] Miz     they're so amazing that they can maintain     these unnecessarily big horns. [15:38] Unan     So they can avoid unnecessary fights,     meaning their hard work pays off. [15:42] Miz     What about this horn, though? [15:45] Unz     It looks like a horn,     but it's a really long tooth. [15:48] Unz     It's got nerve endings and can     even sense the temperature. [15:51] Miz     So it's not just a meaningless decoration. [15:57] Shi     Hello— [16:00] Shi     What's happening? Why are     you all dressed like this? [16:03] Ued     Oh just in time, Shimoda-kun. [16:05] Kan     We're all going to Galapagos.     Hurry up and change! [16:09] Miz     Neptune-san came up with     some new marine animals. [16:13] Hig     Let's fire it up! SIGN    Pacific     White-Sided      Dolphin SIGN    Burmeister's      Porpoise SIGN    Beaked     Whale SIGN    Accepted SIGN    Accepted SIGN    Accepted SIGN    Accepted SIGN    Common     Bottlenose     Dolphin SIGN    Pilot Whale SIGN    Accepted [16:19] God     Accepted! [16:21] Shi     Wow, it's an acceptance jackpot! [16:24] Kan     The client really likes these animals,     so all sorts of these designs passed. [16:29] Kan     So we were all working on these together. [16:32] Shi     But why is there a mix     of dolphins and whales? [16:34] Kan     They're just different in size.     Otherwise, dolphins and whales are the same. SIGN    Striped     Dolphin [16:38] God     Accepted! SIGN    Accepted SIGN    Spectacled     Porpoise [16:40] God     Accepted! SIGN    Accepted SIGN    Kelpie [16:41] God     Rejected! SIGN    Rejected [16:43] Tsu     Oh, no! I worked so hard on that kelpie! [16:46] Hig     What made you think that would work? [16:48] Tus     I thought that it could maybe     slip by with the others. [16:50] Una     The base for the dolphin     wasn't the horse, either. [16:53] Shi     Oh, then what was it? [16:55] Una     You want to know? [16:56] Una     Okay, quiz time! SIGN    Migratory Bird SIGN    Seal [16:57] Una     Which baby here is the base? SIGN    Hippopotamus [16:59] Una     A: Seal. [17:00] Una     B: Migratory bird. [17:02] Una     C: Hippopotamus. [17:03] Shi     Maybe the seal? [17:05] Una     Too bad! The answer was C, the hippopotamus! [17:10] Shi     Really? [17:11] Shi     It looks quite different, though. [17:13] Miz     I see. The eyes would be injured if they     are in the front when swimming fast, [17:17] Miz     so you moved them to the side? [17:18] Una     Right, and because it's cuter this way. [17:22] Una     And the nose went this way. [17:25] Miz     So the sea water doesn't flow in?     That's groundbreaking. [17:28] Una     Yes, and because it's cuter this way. [17:31] Una     And I took off the ears, too. [17:32] Shi     Hippos can sleep on land, but dolphins      are always under water, right? [17:37] Shi     Won't they sink? [17:38] Una     That's why the brain was tweaked. [17:41] Kan     We made the left and right     hemispheres of its brain independent, [17:43] Kan     so they can take turns sleeping. [17:45] Kan     So that's why they can     sleep without drowning. SIGN    Monkeys     and     such [17:45] Txt     Left Hemisphere [17:45] Txt     Right Hemisphere SIGN    Corpus Callosum SIGN    Optical Nerve [17:45] Txt     Left Hemisphere [17:45] Txt     Right Hemisphere SIGN    Dolphins      are like this [17:47] Shi     Ah, so one half of the     brain is always awake! [17:51] Kim     By the way, what do they eat? [17:54] Una     Uh, well, squid and such. [17:57] Mei     So it eats these cute babies I created. [18:01] Shi     Pluto-san, aren't you     holding it upside down? [18:04] Mei     This is the top. [18:05] Mei     After the tentacles, there's the head,      then the body. SIGN    Head SIGN    Head SIGN    Body SIGN    Body [18:09] Mei     Incidentally, it poops from     the side of its head. [18:12] Una     Pluto-chan's imagination is really powerful. [18:16] Mei     But since Neptune-san's dolphins are smart,      my babies get eaten a lot. [18:20] Mei     I've decided! I'll make them talk, too!      I'll make them smart! [18:24] Kan     You want to equip them     with vocal organs now? [18:27] Mei     What about changing body color,     something like flag signaling? [18:32] Kab     Would that be understood, though? [18:33] Mei     Quiz! What is the meaning of this pattern? [18:36] Kan     I think the testicles are there, so maybe... [18:39] Kan     "I'm incredibly virile!" [18:42] Mei     It worked! Ven-chan, you're amazing! [18:45] Mei     And they show off something larger     than their actual testicles. [18:48] Kan     I guess even squid are vain. [18:50] Una     That's amazing. Pluto-chan can't be beat. [18:54] Mei     They won't lose to dolphins! [18:56] Mei     Squids have three hearts,     giving them more mobility! [18:59] Mei     This way, they can escape into deep water,      where no light penetrates! [19:02] Una     Huh, but... then, um... who cares      that it's deep water? [19:06] Una     The dolphins will use echolocation to find     squid without needing light! [19:10] Shi     Is this a fight? [19:11] Hig     Oh, looks like this will be fun. [19:15] Mei     Animal battle! [19:17] Una     Survival of the fittest! [19:18] Shi     The dolphin is going straight for the squid! [19:21] Shi     But what is echolocation, anyway? [19:23] Kim     Simply put, it's sensing distance and     direction using reflected sound waves. [19:28] Mei     Smoke screen! [19:31] Una     Are you sure squid ink will     do anything in the darkness? [19:34] Mei     Then I'll evolve the smoke screen!     A smoke screen of light! [19:39] Shi     It's like there are no rules anymore. [19:41] Mei     And the squid itself will shine, too! [19:43] Una     You're losing your touch, Pluto-chan! [19:44] Una     In the ocean, the shinier you are,      the more visible you are! [19:46] Mei     You're the one losing your touch! [19:48] Mei     Rise up near the surface!     With the sun as the backdrop! [19:51] Una     Wh-What the—?! [19:53] Una     The squid disappeared in the sunlight!? [19:56] Una     But we still have the     echolocation on our side! [19:59] Una     Advance! [20:02] Mei     Hidden Technique: Surface Escape Mega Jump! SIGN    Flying Squid [20:06] Shi     It flew! [20:07] Shi     Oh, so those fin-like things were wings. [20:10] Ued     It's jumping by ejecting sea water! [20:12] Kim     Good job! [20:13] Kna     Both of you, keep going! [20:14] Una     That's nothing! The dolphin will jump, too! [20:18] Mei     Then I'll use my last resort! [20:20] Mei     Giant squid upgrade! [20:24] Una     I'll match you on that! [20:29] Shi     God has spoken! [20:30] God     Accepted! SIGN    Accepted SIGN    Giant      Squid [20:34] Kan     No way, the big squid passed! [20:36] Miz     Aha, the client's watching the battle, too. [20:40] Una     Pluto-chan, you made me go all-out.      It was a good battle. [20:47] Una     But it's time to end this. [20:53] Una     Echolocation update! Ultrasonic beam! [20:58] God     Accepted! SIGN    Accepted SIGN    Sperm      Whale [21:06] Mei     No way! I can't believe your beam got accepted! [21:09] Mei     Next time, I won't lose! SIGN    The Illustrated Guide to Creatures That Really Exist [21:14] Ken     The Illustrated Guide to Creatures     That Really Exist! [21:18] Shi     Total length: 18 meters! [21:20] Tsu     That's about as long as a train car. [21:22] Shi     Can such a large animal really     emit a beam from its head? [21:26] Tsu     It can. [21:27] Tsu     What's more, it can direct sound so     intense that it makes its prey faint. [21:34] Shi     I can't quite imagine how. [21:36] Tsu     A sperm whale can output     a maximum of 250 decibels. [21:41] Tsu     For reference, a jet engine is about     120 decibels if you're standing next to it. [21:46] Shi     Wow. The sperm whale must be     fighting really formidable foes! [21:51] Shi     That's why it evolved to get     so big to deal with them! [21:53] Tsu     Sperm whales often have scars on     their heads that are assumed to be [21:58] Tsu     from battles with giant squid. [21:59] Shi     So the ruthless battle between     these two is never going to end! [22:04] Ued     God has spoken! [22:06] God     Accepted! SIGN    Accepted SIGN    Sea Horse [22:09] Tsu     Yay! When I made that kelpie from     earlier smaller, it passed! [22:13] Ued     Congratulations. SIGN    Next on the Agenda