9 - Take Good Care of Your Smartphone / Maki-chan and Asunaro

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] Mashiro INT
    Why?
[00:08] Mashiro INT
    Why did this happen?
[00:10] Nagumo
    Mashiro! Keep it together!
[00:11] Nezu
    Big sis!
[00:13] Mashiro INT
    All... All I did...
[00:20] Commentator
    Mashiro comes from behind
    to become the Glutton Champion!
[00:23] Mashiro INT
    ...was drop my smartphone.
SIGN    Detectives
    These Days
    Are Crazy!
SIGN    Take Good Care
     of Your Smartphone
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    5 Hours
    Earlier
[02:04] Mashiro
    It's gone!
[02:05] Mashiro
    No way! It's really not here!
[02:08] Asunaro
    What's the matter?
[02:09] Nagumo
    Did you lose something?
[02:11] Mashiro
    What do I do?
    I lost something really important!
[02:15] Nagumo
    Something important? Your ladylike grace?
[02:17] Nezu
    Your dignity?
SIGN    Bet it's
    common
    sense
SIGN    I wasn't
    wrong
[02:20] Mashiro
    My smartphone!
    I lost my smartphone somewhere!
[02:25] Nezu
    Want me to call you from my phone?
[02:28] Mashiro
    Ooh, thanks! And sorry for slaughtering you!
[02:31] Mashiro
    Please be in the room.
[02:33] Nezu
    Let's see...
    Passcode: eight, nine, three...
SIGN    Enter passcode
[02:39] Nezu
    It ain't like that!
    I got permission, I swear!
[02:42] Nagumo
    Can you do that outside? You're gonna
    turn the office into a passage to hell.
[02:47] Mashiro
    I don't hear it.
[02:49] Nezu
    You didn't leave it on silent mode, did you?
[02:51] Mashiro
    I don't think so.
[02:54] Mashiro
    I must've dropped it somewhere outside.
[02:57] Thief
    Hello?
[02:58] Mashiro
    Someone answered.
[02:59] Mashiro
    Oh, hello? I'm the owner of that smartphone.
[03:03] Mashiro
    Thank you for picking it up for me!
[03:06] Thief
    Sure, I picked it up, but don't go thinking
    I'll give it back to you for free.
[03:12] Mashiro
    Huh?
[03:13] Thief
    What kinda idiot uses "0000"
    for their passcode?
[03:16] Thief
    But y'know, you're pretty cute, Mashiro-chan.
[03:20] Mashiro
    You know...
[03:22] Mashiro
    You might want to choose
    your words more carefully.
[03:26] Nezu
    I'd like it if you could handle
    my phone more carefully.
[03:30] Thief
    A schoolgirl's phone is full of secrets.
    You need it back, don't you?
[03:35] Thief
    Oh, and I turned off location services,
    so don't bother trying to track it down.
[03:39] Thief
    If you play my game, though,
    I might be willing to return it to you.
[03:44] Thief
    I'm about to—
[03:48] Thief
    Okay, what kinda girl instantly tries to
    curse someone to death over the phone?
[03:52] Nagumo
    Seriously, stop putting weird spiritual
    attributes on things in the office.
[03:56] Mashiro
    All that spit you just cheerfully
    released into the air
[04:00] Mashiro
    will turn into 10,000 lances
    that will pierce your heart.
[04:03] Nagumo
    What conversation ends
    in that kind of abuse?
[04:06] Nezu
    They're talking about a smartphone, right?
[04:08] Mashiro
    Well? What's your game?
[04:10] Thief
    The rules are simple.
[04:12] Thief
    In six hours, I'm going to throw out
    your phone somewhere.
[04:17] Thief
    I'll give you ten hints
    about where I discarded it,
[04:20] Thief
    but you'll need to complete the missions
    I give you to receive the hints.
[04:25] Thief
    Complete as many missions as you can
    and find your way to your phone.
[04:31] Mashiro
    Fine.
[04:33] Mashiro
    And what's the first mission?
[04:35] Thief
    I'll give you something easy
    for the first one.
[04:39] Referee
    Hakkeyoi!
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Mission 1
    Win the City Sumo Tournament
[04:42] Commentator
    Wow! The last-minute entry,
    Mashiro, is holding her own!
[04:46] Commentator
    The high schooler is locked in a grapple with
    a member of an imperial university sumo club.
[04:50] Nezu
    This seems kinda heavy for her first mission.
[04:53] Nagumo
    What's that thief after, anyway?
[04:57] Commentator
    Mashiro is holding up
    against that overarm throw!
[05:00] Commentator
    In fact, she's somehow airborne!
[05:02] Commentator
    She's seized total supremacy
    of the air over this ring!
[05:06] Commentator
    Now she's smiling as
    she lifts 120 kg with one arm!
[05:11] Commentator
    And she's railroading him
    straight out of the ring!
[05:14] Mashiro
    Yeah, baby!
[05:16] Commentator
    And the winner is the
    last-minute entry, Mashiro.
[05:20] Commentator
    Also, it's kinda late to ask,
    but is that how you wear the mawashi?!
[05:23] Commentator
    Who would you like to share your joy with?
[05:26] Mashiro
    The local old lady who threw
    a bunch of hyuganatsu at me
[05:29] Mashiro
    when I was playing baseball
     at the pet cemetery.
[05:31] Commentator
    Why a noisy old lady?
[05:35] Nagumo
    Good job, Mashiro.
[05:37] Nezu
    I knew you could do it, big sis!
[05:39] Thief
    I never imagined you'd
    complete that so naturally.
[05:42] Mashiro
    Okay, what's the next mission?
[05:44] Thief
    R-Right. Your next mission is...
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Mission 2
    Removing a Hornet Nest
[05:50] Nezu
    This scene seems oddly familiar.
[05:53] Mashiro
    Don't they say you can die
    if you get stung by a bee twice?
[05:56] Nagumo
    Yeah, something like that.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    ° Anaphylactic Shock
[06:01] Mashiro
    Screw it! I'm going in!
[06:03] Nezu
    Big sis, at least wear protective gear!
[06:05] Nagumo
    And you don't need the honey dipper.
[06:07] Mashiro
    Piece o' cake.
[06:09] Nezu
    Whoa! Your face looks bad, big sis!
[06:11] Nagumo
    You look like a potato that's been
    spoiled by organic farming.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Mission 3
[06:18] Onlooker1
    There's someone under the Aqua-Line!
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Swim the Butterfly
    Across Tokyo Bay
[06:20] Onlooker2
    Is that what the Umihotaru
     rest area is there for?
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Mission 4
[06:24] Mashiro
    Please!
[06:26] Mashiro
    Please buy this ballpoint pen
    for 10,000 yen! I'm begging you!
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Sell 100 Ballpoint Pens to
    Passersby for 10,000 Yen Each
[06:31] Employee
    What?!
[06:31] Mashiro
    I'm flat broke!
[06:33] Mashiro
    My starving brethren are awaiting
    my return in a V formation!
[06:38] Employee
    In a defensive formation?
    What are they expecting?!
[06:41] Mashiro
    Please help me out!
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Mission 5
    Win an Eating Contest
[06:44] Commentator
    Ten seconds remain.
[06:46] Commentator
    Mashiro only needs to finish
    one more plate to win,
[06:48] Commentator
    but is it too much for her?
    She's not going for it.
[06:52] Commentator
    Ouch! That look of anguish!
[06:55] Commentator
    She looks like Tom H°nks in
    The Green M°le when he had that UTI!
[07:01] Commentator
    But she's finished it off*
    through sheer willpower!
[07:03] Commentator
    The last-minute entry, Mashiro, is the winner!
[07:06] Commentator
    The sopping-wet, loincloth-clad woman
    of many faces makes a stunning comeback!
[07:12] Thief
    Wh-What the hell is with that chick?
[07:14] Thief
    What will it take to break her?!
[07:17] Maki
    Master, here's your coffee.
[07:20] Maki
    You prefer it black, yes?
[07:22] Asunaro
    Yes, thank you.
[07:24] Maki
    What's the matter? You look lost in thought.
[07:27] Maki
    Are you looking at
    some obscene website again?
[07:30] Asunaro
    Yeah.
[07:32] Asunaro
    See? Check this out!
    Isn't the way hippos defecate amazing?
[07:34] Maki
    Hey! Why are you watching
    such a disgusting video?!
[07:38] Asunaro
    I'm just kidding.
[07:39] Asunaro
    I was reading an article on a serial "smartphone
     molester" who's been hitting this area.
SIGN    Malicious demands with indecent motives
     in serial smartphone molestations
[07:44] Maki
    Oh, about those young women
     losing their smartphones?
[07:49] Asunaro
    Some guy claims he's found
     the woman's smartphone,
[07:51] Asunaro
    then gives her impossible tasks
    to complete to get it back.
[07:56] Asunaro
    And after he's had his fun
     toying with the woman,
[07:58] Asunaro
    she's lost all strength and rational thought,
    making her easy prey for the man to attack.
[08:05] Maki
    This man is definitely stealing
    the smartphones, then.
[08:08] Asunaro
    Most likely.
[08:09] Maki
    He probably watches the suffering woman
     from fairly close by.
[08:13] Maki
    What a deplorable sadist.
[08:15] Maki
    Scum. Trash. Garbage.
    Glasses. Hakama wearer.
[08:19] Asunaro
    Did you just seamlessly turn that
    into insults against me?
[08:22] Asunaro
    Still, would women really go through
    all that just for their phones?
[08:25] Maki
    Well, of course.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Mission 6
    Earn 100,000 Yen
    Doing Pantomime
[08:28] Maki
    To a girl, someone seeing your smartphone
[08:30] Maki
    is only just behind being seen naked
     on the humiliation scale.
SIGN    Money
    Goes Here
[08:35] Man1
    Wow. How is she holding that pose?
[08:38] Man2
    Is she really human?
[08:39] Woman
    I'll give her money.
[08:42] Thief
    Tsk. This chick's a lost cause.
[08:48] Thief
    She's not losing heart at all.
    She's actually completing the tasks.
[08:52] Thief
    What I want to see is
    her face all distorted in agony.
[08:56] Thief
    I might as well just toss
    her phone somewhere and...
[08:59] Thief
    Huh? It's gone.
[09:01] Fuu
    Hey, mister.
[09:03] Fuu
    You dropped your phone.
[09:05] Fuu
    Just kidding.
[09:07] Fuu
    I'm a good pickpocket, too, aren't I?
[09:10] Thief
    Wh-Who are you?
[09:11] Fuu
    Found the thief.
[09:13] Fuu
    Prepare to launch!
[09:15] Thief
    "Th-Thief"? And what are you launching?
[09:20] Nagumo
    Oh, Fuu-chan says she found the thief.
[09:22] Mashiro
    That little shit saves the day again!
[09:24] Nezu
    What? How did she find him?
[09:26] Mashiro
    I figured he'd be nearby to make sure
    I was completing his missions,
[09:31] Mashiro
    so I asked her to swipe the smartphones
    off of any shady-looking guys around.
[09:36] Nezu
    A-All of them?
[09:38] Mashiro
    She secretly returns them
    if the owner's innocent, of course.
[09:41] Nezu
    So are you going to let Fuu-chan
    take care of the thief?
[09:45] Nezu
    Won't that put her in danger?
[09:46] Mashiro
    Aw, she'll be fine. After all...
SIGN    Solanine
[09:51] Mashiro
    She has a guardian with her.
[09:54] Thief
    They're like the Togro Brothers in
    a timeline where shame doesn't exist!
[10:00] Thief
    You won't catch me.
[10:02] Thief
    I doubt that hulk can run very fast.
SIGN    Lycorine
SIGN    Solanine
[10:05] Thief
    Okay, his movements go beyond
    the very concept of speed!
[10:08] Nipple Tasting Man
    Tasting time.
SIGN    Tasting
SIGN    (of Lethal
     Poisons)
SIGN    Solanine
SIGN    Lycorine
SIGN    Solanine
[10:11] Nipple Tasting Man
    And now for seconds.
SIGN    Seconds
    (of Lethal
    Poisons)
SIGN    Lycorine
[10:13] Fuu
    Hey, you've got a pretty good job, huh?
[10:16] Fuu
    Adachi Koitaro-san, age thirty-four, single.
[10:20] Thief
    Wh-When did you get my wallet?
[10:23] Fuu
    I'm gonna give this to my dad, okay?
[10:25] Fuu
    Oh, and just so you know,
    my dad's a policeman.
SIGN    Nagumo Detective Agency
[10:33] Mashiro
    Whew, what a relief!
[10:35] Mashiro
    My smartphone came home.
[10:38] Mashiro
    Thank you, Fuu-chan!
[10:40] Fuu
    Stay away from me, ugly!
[10:41] Nipple Tasting Man
    Do try to keep it more secure in the future.
[10:44] Nagumo
    Hey, Tasting-san,
    what happened to your nipples?
[10:47] Nipple Tasting Man
    Bacteria from that thief's mouth
    gave me a rash.
[10:51] Mashiro
    That afro bastard gave us
     trouble to the end.
[10:53] Nezu
    Why do you think he had an afro, anyway?
     It didn't even look good on him.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    A Day
    Earlier
[11:00] Azuha
    What?
[11:01] (Flashback) Azuha
    Did I drop my phone?
[11:05] (Flashback) Thief
    This one's a beauty.
[11:07] (Flashback) Thief
    Now, how should I make her suffer?
[11:10] (Flashback) Azuha
    Man, this sucks.
    It had all my personal info on it.
[11:15] (Flashback) Azuha
    Oh well. I'll just blow it up.
[11:19] Mashiro NAR
    And that's how he ended up with an afro.
SIGN    Nagumo Detective Agency
[11:25] Mashiro
    ♫ Happy birthday, old dude ♫
[11:29] Mashiro
    ♫ Happy birthday, old dude ♫
[11:34] Mashiro
    ♫ Happy birthday, dear Nagumo ♫
[11:38] Nagumo
    No honorifics at all now, huh?
SIGN    Happy Birthday
[11:40] Mashiro
    ♫ Happy birthday to you! ♫
[11:46] Nagumo
    I almost feel bad about this.
[11:48] Nagumo
    You threw a birthday party
    for an old dude like me?
[11:51] Mashiro
    Go on. Blow out the candles. All in one go.
[11:54] Nagumo
    R-Right.
SIGN    Happy Birthday
[12:04] Nagumo
    Hang on. Mind if I lie down for a bit?
[12:07] Mashiro
    You're short on oxygen and
    you didn't even blow them out?
[12:10] Mashiro
    Okay, I'll blow them out. Here I go!
[12:12] Nagumo
    Wait! I have a bad feeling about...
SIGN    Nagumo Detective Agency
[12:16] Nagumo
    I knew it!
[12:18] Maki
    This is the real one.
[12:20] Maki
    I had a hunch this would happen,
    so I switched it out with a toy cake.
[12:24] Asunaro
    That's my Maki-chan.
SIGN    Maki-chan and Asunaro
[12:31] Nagumo
    This cake is great.
    It's not too sweet at all.
[12:35] Maki
    I'm glad you like it.
[12:37] Maki
    I chose one with a more subtle
    sweetness to suit your tastes.
[12:42] Maki
    I'll switch out your coffee for a warm one.
[12:45] Maki
    And I'll get you a fresh hot towel.
[12:47] Nagumo
    Oh, I can do that for myself.
[12:50] Maki
    No, you're the star of the day.
    You can stay seated.
[12:53] Maki
    This special day only comes once a year.
[12:56] Nagumo
    Man, I wonder where he found
    such a thoughtful assistant.
[13:01] Mashiro
    Don't look at me while you say that.
[13:03] Mashiro
    I happen to believe I'm very thoughtful!
[13:06] Nagumo
    Uh, I've never seen anyone less thoughtful!
[13:09] Nagumo
    And how do you get cake there, anyway?
[13:11] Mashiro
    Oh, right.
[13:13] Asunaro
    Maki-chan was selected in an audition.
[13:16] Nagumo
    An audition?
[13:17] Asunaro
    When my popularity skyrocketed,
[13:20] Asunaro
    I decided it was time
    to start up my own business,
[13:24] Asunaro
    so I talked to someone I know
    who's a producer for a TV network.
[13:30] (Flashback) Producer FB
    How about we run a large-scale TV campaign
    and have candidates compete for the position?
[13:36] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Hmm... You think any decent
    candidates will apply that way?
[13:39] (Flashback) Producer FB
    Trust me, it'll work. It'll get your name out
    there even more, too! How can you go wrong?
[13:45] (Flashback) Producer FB
    How about five million
    for your appearance fee?
[13:47] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Hmm... Five million, you say?
[13:49] Mashiro
    What?! Who would hesitate
    to agree to five million?!
[13:52] Mashiro
    The old dude would run around naked
[13:55] Mashiro
    and lick the producer's shoes
    until they dissolved for that amount!
[13:58] Asunaro
    Nagumo-sensei would never do such a thing!
[14:01] Nagumo
    Actually, I would.
[14:02] Asunaro
    Sensei?!
[14:03] Mashiro
    Well? What happened after that?
[14:06] Mashiro
    I wanna know more! Tell me!
[14:08] Asunaro
    Sure. In that case...
[14:10] Asunaro
    Asunaro Theater, Act 1:
SIGN    Asunaro Theater
SIGN    Act 1
SIGN    The First
    Meeting
[14:15] Asunaro
    The First Meeting.
[14:16] Mashiro
    This suddenly got obnoxious.
SIGN    Asunaro's Partner Is You!: Public Audition for Assistant
[14:19] (Flashback) Producer FB
    Dang, look at that turnout!
[14:22] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Do they really want to be my assistant,
    or are they just fans?
[14:27] (Flashback) Producer FB
    Who cares who your assistant is,
    as long as she's cute?
[14:30] (Flashback) Producer FB
    Just pick the one who's closest
    to your ideal woman.
[14:35] (Flashback) Producer FB
    We'll narrow it down
    with a true-or-false quiz,
[14:37] (Flashback) Producer FB
    then comes the swimsuit contest,
    then the karaoke contest...
[14:46] Asunaro FB INT
    Is this really how I should be*
    choosing my assistant?
[14:50] Asunaro FB INT
    Being a detective's assistant is dangerous work.
    A half-hearted approach won't cut it.
[14:55] Asunaro FB INT
    Some of these people might genuinely want
    the position, but how do I find out for sure?
[15:02] MC FB
    And now, the man you've all been waiting for:
[15:05] MC FB
    the genius high school detective
    who surpasses even Nagumo Keiichiro,
[15:08] MC FB
    Asunaro Yuu-kun!
[15:13] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    So, um, thank you all for coming today.
[15:17] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    There's one thing I need to tell you
    before we begin the audition.
[15:21] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    I've been lying to you all this time.
[15:25] (Flashback) Producer FB
    What? This isn't in the script.
[15:28] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    The truth is...
[15:31] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    This is what I actually look like.
[15:37] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    So if any of you want to be my assistant
    even though I look like this...
[15:48] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Yeah, that's what I expected.
[15:50] (Flashback) Producer FB
    Dude! What the hell was that, Asunaro-kun?!
[15:53] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    I just screened out the candidates
    who are fans of mine.
[15:57] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Of course, anyone who couldn't
    see through such a simple disguise
[16:00] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    isn't fit to be my assistant, anyway.
[16:02] (Flashback) Producer FB
    But that's no reason to fail all of them!
[16:05] (Flashback) Producer FB
    What're you gonna do now?!
[16:07] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    It is what it is. I'll just start
    from square one and...
[16:13] (Flashback) Maki FB
    We aren't doing the audition?
[16:18] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    No, we're resuming right now.
[16:20] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    But may I ask one question first?
[16:22] (Flashback) Maki FB
    Of course.
[16:23] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Why didn't you leave?
[16:26] (Flashback) Maki FB
    Weren't you shocked when you saw my face?
[16:28] (Flashback) Maki FB
    I knew right away it was a disguise.
[16:31] (Flashback) Maki FB
    I'm very good at seeing through lies.
[16:34] (Flashback) Maki FB
    Besides, it doesn't matter what you look like.
[16:37] (Flashback) Maki FB
    As long as I get paid,
    that's good enough for me.
[16:42] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    You pass.
[16:43] (Flashback) Producer FB
    Wha—Asunaro-kun?!
[16:45] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Hup.
[16:47] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Would you start by telling me your name?
[16:50] (Flashback) Maki FB
    Kazamaki Hana.
[16:51] (Flashback) Maki FB
    And how shall I address you?
[16:54] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Well, let's see... You can call me "Master."
[16:59] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Today is the joyous day of
    the Asunaro Detective Agency's founding.
[17:03] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    I look forward to working with you, Hana-san.
[17:05] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Let's have fun. What do you say?
[17:09] (Flashback) Maki FB
    You can't hold a job forever
    just because it's fun.
[17:12] (Flashback) Maki FB
    I look forward to working with you, Master.
[17:16] Asunaro
    So that's how we met.
[17:19] Mashiro
    Wow, Maki-chan, you were so cool!
[17:21] Maki
    Master, please! Don't tell them
    such ridiculous things.
[17:24] Mashiro
    So why did you decide to be
    a detective's assistant, Maki-chan?
[17:29] Maki
    W-Well, I...
[17:31] Maki
    I always wanted to work in the background
    supporting the one in the limelight.
[17:36] Asunaro
    Oh, come on. You wanted to work
    for me specifically, didn't you?
[17:41] Maki
    You don't have any action commands other than
    "excrete" and "sexually harass," do you, Master?
[17:46] Asunaro
    That's the meanest one I've heard in a while!
[17:48] Asunaro
    Oh, that's right.
[17:49] Asunaro
    I wanted to hear your story,
    too, Nagumo-sensei.
[17:53] Asunaro
    Like the day you started up this office.
[17:55] Mashiro
    Ooh! I don't know about that, either. Tell us!
[17:58] Nagumo
    Aw, jeez. All right, then.
[18:01] Nagumo
    How did the genius Nagumo come to be?
SIGN    How Did the Genius Nagumo Come to Be?
[18:07] Mashiro
    This is just as obnoxious as the last one.
[18:11] (Flashback) Nagumo FB
    Wow, this really is a nice property.
[18:14] (Flashback) Staff1 FB
    Isn't it? It has all the latest
    modern conveniences.
[18:17] Mashiro
    Wait, wait, wait!
    What is that grotesque creature?!
[18:20] Nagumo
    Oh, uh, I don't remember his face too well.
SIGN    Realtors
[18:24] (Flashback) Staff1 FB
    We'll take care of the paperwork in here.
[18:27] (Flashback) Staff2 FB
    Have some tea.
[18:29] (Flashback) Staff3 FB
    If you'll just look over these documents...
[18:32] (Flashback) Staff4 FB
    Um, please sign this autograph board for me.
[18:34] Mashiro
    Is this some kind of fever dream?!
[18:37] Nagumo
    So I signed a bunch of paperwork,
    and opened my office here.
[18:42] (Flashback) Nagumo FB
    All right. Let's do this!
[18:45] (Flashback) Nagumo FB
    I'll be the best detective in Japan.
[18:47] Mashiro
    Why is even your own model
    drifting off into obscurity?
[18:51] Nagumo
    Been a while since I used
    my head that much. I'm beat.
[18:54] Nagumo
    I'm gonna lie down for a bit.
[18:56] Mashiro
    You're really on the brink,
    aren't you, old dude?
[18:59] Mashiro
    Well, he's a lost cause.
    Tell me more of your story.
[19:03] Asunaro
    All right. How about the story
    of our first job together?
[19:07] Asunaro
    Asunaro Theater, Act 2:
SIGN    Asunaro Theater
SIGN    Act 2
SIGN    Getting
    Closer
[19:12] Asunaro
    Getting Closer.
[19:13] Mashiro
    Are you required to use
    these obnoxious episode titles?
[19:17] (Flashback) Robber FB
    Don't move a muscle!
[19:20] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Goodness. I didn't know our first job
     together would be this tough.
[19:25] (Flashback) Maki FB
    Until the police get here,
    we should ensure the safety of the hostage,
[19:30] (Flashback) Maki FB
    and make sure the criminal doesn't get away.
[19:35] (Flashback) Maki FB
    I'll handle this.
[19:37] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Wait, Hana-san?
[19:39] (Flashback) Robber FB
    What are you doing? Stay back!
[19:42] (Flashback) Maki FB
    Would you take me as your hostage instead?
[19:47] (Flashback) Robber FB
    Say what?
[19:48] (Flashback) Maki FB
    As a woman, I'm weaker, so you won't
    have to worry about me resisting.
[19:53] (Flashback) Maki FB
    What do you say?
[19:58] (Flashback) Robber FB
    Well, the man you're with
    had better not move.
[20:03] (Flashback) Hostage FB
    Thank you so much!
[20:07] (Flashback) Robber FB
    Okay.
[20:08] (Flashback) Robber FB
    Start up the getaway car.
[20:11] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Oh, the police are already here.
[20:13] (Flashback) Robber FB
    What?!
[20:14] (Flashback) Robber FB
    No way! They're here already?
[20:18] (Flashback) Robber FB
    Wh-What? You were lying?
[20:21] (Flashback) Robber FB
    There aren't any poli—
[20:25] (Flashback) Maki FB
    M-Master? What are you doing?
[20:30] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    I got a good kick in there, huh?
[20:32] (Flashback) Maki FB
    If we'd waited a few more minutes, the police
    would've arrived and wrapped it up nicely.
[20:36] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    But that would've kept you
    in danger even longer.
[20:39] (Flashback) Maki FB
    That gun he has is fake. You didn't notice?
[20:43] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Of course I did.
[20:44] (Flashback) Maki FB
    Then, why...
[20:46] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Why?
[20:48] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    Even if the gun was fake, my precious
    assistant was still at risk of injury.
[20:58] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    I'm truly glad you weren't hurt.
[21:01] (Flashback) Maki FB
    Have you ever been called
    a womanizer, Master?
[21:04] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
    What's this? Have you fallen in love with me?
[21:06] (Flashback) Maki FB
    Take one more step,
    and I'll sue you for sexual harassment.
[21:13] Mashiro
    That almost makes you seem
    legit heroic. How infuriating.
[21:17] Asunaro
    I don't just seem heroic. I am heroic!
[21:22] Maki
    Oh, come on. Isn't that
    enough talk about the past?
[21:25] Maki
    Well, Master? Are you having any cake?
[21:27] Asunaro
    Okay, you can feed it to me.
[21:29] Maki
    Please don't get ahead of yourself.
[21:34] Mashiro INT
    Maki-chan really is amazing.
[21:36] Mashiro INT
    Asunaro must've been so happy.
[21:39] Mashiro INT
    I wonder if there's anything more
    I can do for the old dude.
[21:59] Mashiro
    Okay, for starters,
    don't sleep through your own birthday!
[22:05] Nagumo
    Water. Get me some water, please.
SIGN    Next Time
SIGN    Catch the
    Sneak Photographer!
SIGN    The Bullet Bride