6 - Mr. Hassaku and I

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] ---
    
SIGN    Episode 6 Mr. Hassaku and I
SIGN    East Inari Daimyojin
[00:38] AM
    Huh?!
[00:40] ---
    Wh-What?
[00:41] HO
    Oh my, you found me.
[00:44] HO
    I got drunk last night and
    fell asleep on the streets.
[00:47] ---
    It was morning when I woke up,
[00:49] ---
    and somehow I'm not wearing pants.
[00:51] ---
    That's why I'm hiding like this.
[00:53] AM
    I see...
[00:55] HO
    I don't have pants.
[00:57] HO
    It must be some kind of fate
    that we met... Please help me.
[01:01] HO
    What do you think I should do about this?
[01:03] AM
    I-I'm not sure...
[01:05] HO
    Do you have anything I can wear?
    If so, give it to me.
[01:09] AM
    Something to wear?
[01:10] AM
    U-Uh... I mean, I do have a
    paper bag that I don't need...
[01:16] HO
    Why, thank you so much.
[01:17] AM
    Here.
[01:18] HO
    I'll gladly take it.
[01:20] HO
    What am I supposed to do with this?!
[01:23] HO
    On top of that, this is so small!
    What can I do?!
[01:26] AM
    Can't you just hide your front with it?
[01:28] HO
    Oh. Right, right. I'll try that.
[01:34] HO
    I tried, but my butt
    and everything else aren't covered.
[01:38] ---
    What else do you have?
[01:39] AM
    What?
[01:40] HO
    Do you have anything else?
[01:42] AM
    I have stockings.
[01:43] HO
    What am I supposed to do with stockings?
[01:45] ---
    Oh, I can wear stockings. Are you sure?
[01:48] AM
    It's fine. It's only a hundred yen.
[01:51] HO
    I mean... I can wear them,
    but I wonder if it's okay.
[01:55] ---
    Wouldn't various problems
    arise if I put these on?
[01:57] AM
    Why don't you try them on?
[02:00] HO
    Excellent idea. I shall.
[02:03] HO
    Which side's the front?
[02:06] AM
    This side.
[02:08] HO
    It feels weird.
[02:10] ---
    They're hugging onto me really tight.
[02:11] ---
    They're also a little small.
    Hurgh... Here we go.
[02:15] ---
    I got them on, I did get them on, but...
[02:19] HO
    Nothing's hidden!
[02:21] ---
    They're skin tone, too! They're see-through!
[02:25] HO
    But I'll thank you, nonetheless.
[02:27] ---
    Oh, right. Here's a token of my gratitude.
[02:31] HO
    A hassaku orange.
[02:32] ---
    When I woke up, I was holding this
    in my hand. I'll give it to you.
[02:36] AM
    I don't want it.
[02:37] HO
    You don't like them?
[02:39] AM
    It's not whether I like it
    or not. I don't want it.
[02:42] HO
    Because it's not in season?
[02:43] AM
    Regardless of season, I just don't want it.
[02:45] HO
    "Scoop! Elicit Love Affair Hassaku! Bam!"
[02:50] HO
    Even if you don't eat it,
    you can use it for jokes like this.
[02:52] AM
    No, thank you.
[02:54] HO
    The hassaku was a pun for
    hakkaku (revelation)...
[02:56] AM
    I know, but I don't want it.
[02:58] HO
    Here, catch!
[03:07] AM
    Senchu Hassaku...
[03:07] AM
    (Sakamoto Ryoma's 8 Proposals While Shipboard)
[03:11] AM
    Wh-What?
[03:12] HO
    For a female student who doesn't look
     very intelligent, you made a pretty clever joke.
[03:17] ---
    Although, I doubt you want to hear
    that from an old man in stockings.
[03:21] AM
    I sure don't!
[03:23] HO
    Seems like the train passed,
    so why don't you take the hassaku home?
[03:26] AM
    I don't want it. I really don't.
[03:28] HO
    Lie Hassaku!
[03:30] ---