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E8 - Smells Like Toon Spirits

Source: Crunchyroll
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(This is incomplete since the names are blank on the source file. Feel free to edit them in. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] ---
    All units, stay put.
[00:14] ---
    We grab him when he flips off the engine.
[00:17] ---
    Once in a while, O'Neill's tips
    actually come in handy.
[00:20] ---
    I'm tired of waiting, Kei.
[00:22] ---
    Let's finish this up and go home.
[00:24] ---
    We're not here on a shopping trip.
    This isn't that easy.
[00:27] ---
    Shopping is a lot harder than this.
[00:29] ---
    Doreany shops have far too many things for sale.
[00:32] ---
    You've been here four months.
[00:34] ---
    Get used to it already, country girl.
[00:37] ---
    Country girl?
[00:38] ---
    My Narma is a major city, you know.
[00:41] ---
    Just shut up--
[00:44] ---
    The target's spotted us!
    The target's spotted us!
[00:46] ---
    He's getting away!
[00:48] ---
    All units, head in!
[00:50] ---
    Grab the target!
[00:52] ---
    Can we use our guns?
[00:53] ---
    No!
[00:54] ---
    Do not use your weapons!
[00:56] ---
    Block off the runway with your cars!
[00:57] ---
    Leave it to me!
[00:59] ---
    What?
[01:00] ---
    Hey!
[01:01] ---
    Shield of law, protection of the war god!
[01:07] ---
    Stop!
[01:10] ---
    Are you trying to get yourself killed?
[01:22] ---
    Hey, what the hell were you thinking?
[01:24] ---
    Just watch.
[01:33] ---
    Behold the strength of vaifaht steel.
[01:37] ---
    Moron.
[01:39] ---
    Fifteen years ago, a hyperspace gate
    appeared in the middle of the Pacific.
[01:44] ---
    Beyond the gate lay a strange world
    filled with fairies and monsters.
[01:49] ---
    Kariaena Island. The city of San-Teresa.
[01:52] ---
    This city is Earth's "front door."
[01:55] ---
    Over two million citizens
    from this other world live here.
[01:58] ---
    A mixture of different races and
    diverse cultures, haves and have-nots...
[02:02] ---
    The world's newest "city of dreams."
[02:06] ---
    But in the shadows of all this chaos
    lurked countless crimes.
[02:10] ---
    Drugs. Prostitution. Weapons smuggling.
[02:13] ---
    The San-Teresa Metropolitan Police maintained
[02:16] ---
    a special unit to deal with these crimes.
[03:58] ---
    Two hours in the mud and we didn't find the guy.
[04:02] ---
    If only a certain idiot hadn't brought
    the plane down into a swamp...
[04:06] ---
    Hey, are you referring to me?
[04:11] ---
    Is this the smuggled goods?
[04:13] ---
    It's all junk.
[04:18] ---
    What's up?
[04:19] ---
    I smell latena.
[04:22] ---
    Hey, don't touch that without permission.
[04:24] ---
    Who are you?
[04:26] ---
    Officer Hellmandes with the CBP,
    Customs and Border Protection.
[04:31] ---
    I don't need your permission.
[04:34] ---
    We're the ones running this case--
[04:35] ---
    You, the ones who let your target get away?
[04:38] ---
    We'll take over here.
[04:40] ---
    We haven't even made a list
    of what we've found yet.
[04:43] ---
    So you're refusing a request from the CBP?
[04:46] ---
    Of course not!
[04:49] ---
    It'll just take a little time.
    Give us some time.
[04:53] ---
    Do it as fast as possible.
[04:57] ---
    Who's that rude man?
[04:59] ---
    An elite investigator on his way
    to the top, I guess.
[05:04] ---
    This is part of the job.
    Take a look at it when we get home.
[05:07] ---
    You should be able to get it done tonight.
[05:16] ---
    No fair, Kei!
[05:17] ---
    I'm supposed to take a bath first today!
[05:20] ---
    It's past midnight so it's a new day!
    I'm first!
[05:23] ---
    Rakebye! That's not how it works!
[05:25] ---
    Don't you doreany always
    talk about "ladies first"?
[05:30] ---
    Are you listening, Kei?
[05:39] ---
    Night!
[05:40] ---
    Dummy.
[05:46] ---
    Oh, when you're out of the bath,
    sort through that stuff we found.
[05:49] ---
    I'm going to bed.
[05:51] ---
    You're the only one who
    can smell that stuff, right?
[05:55] ---
    And who was it who was snoring
    next to me as I drove home?
[06:00] ---
    S-Snoring? I don't...
[06:03] ---
    We need to put that stuff into the
    evidence lockers by 11:00 AM tomorrow.
[06:07] ---
    Got it? Goodnight!
[06:53] ---
    Kei is a rude boor!
    Everything he does and says makes me so mad!
[06:58] ---
    Don't you think so too?
[07:01] ---
    Right?
[07:02] ---
    He doesn't know how to treat a lady.
[07:07] ---
    You're a lady too, so I believe
    you understand my frustration, but...
[07:16] ---
    I thought I smelled strong latena.
[07:20] ---
    Hey, Kuroi! That's bad manners!
[07:23] ---
    Kuroi, you're being a bad girl. Get off--
[07:27] ---
    Hey! Wait! Kuroi!
[07:34] ---
    Oww!
[07:45] ---
    What's this?
[08:04] ---
    Kei...
[08:15] ---
    Kuroi, it's too early in the morning...
[08:22] ---
    What the heck?
[08:27] ---
    Are you still asleep? Your bed is downstairs!
[08:32] ---
    Kei!
[08:38] ---
    Tilarna? Hello?
[08:44] ---
    Knock it off--
[08:55] ---
    Wh-What is going on?
[08:57] ---
    K-Kuroi!
[09:05] ---
    You too? What is going on?
[09:09] ---
    We're late!
[09:11] ---
    Hey, Tilarna! We need to get going!
[09:21] ---
    What are you doing?
[09:27] ---
    Are you not feeling well?
[09:32] ---
    I won't know if you don't tell me.
[09:38] ---
    I know. I know. You need food. Hang on.
[09:43] ---
    Okay, stay home today.
[09:44] ---
    I'll tell the chief you've got some
    kind of special alien disease.
[09:48] ---
    Get some sleep, okay?
[09:57] ---
    Oh, right! The garbage!
[10:06] ---
    She left all this out? Jeez.
[10:12] ---
    Kuroi, take care of Tilarna. Be a good girl.
[10:26] ---
    This is terrible...
[10:28] ---
    That bow had a mildey of Moz Nel Valva on it...
[10:39] ---
    She got on top of Kei
    wearing practically nothing!
[10:43] ---
    She's like an animal!
[10:50] ---
    Calm down. That's right. Calm down.
[10:53] ---
    First, that crossbow.
[10:55] ---
    It fell off the sofa and into
    the garbage can next to it...
[11:03] ---
    Wait, wait, wait, wait!
[11:07] ---
    Quenishuba...
[11:09] ---
    Quenishuba!
[11:12] ---
    Oh, no... Oh, no!
[11:25] ---
    Is she... don't tell me...
[11:30] ---
    Stop it, Kuroi!
[11:31] ---
    At least... at least take off your underwear!
[11:38] ---
    No! No! No...
[11:42] ---
    No!
[11:50] ---
    A simple raid ended up with a plane crash?
[11:53] ---
    What the hell happened?
[11:54] ---
    Just like I said.
[11:56] ---
    The local cops screwed up, and...
[11:59] ---
    Shut up!
[12:00] ---
    The Golanbiza county police were
    on the phone screaming at me!
[12:04] ---
    At midnight!
[12:06] ---
    My wife was pissed!
[12:08] ---
    Right after I spent the last few days
[12:10] ---
    eating oysters and taking zinc supplements, too!
[12:15] ---
    Chief, was it just the county police?
[12:17] ---
    What?
[12:18] ---
    The complaints you were getting.
    Nothing from the CBP?
[12:22] ---
    The CBP?
[12:24] ---
    I talked to their guy Hellmandes this morning,
[12:26] ---
    but he didn't really say anything.
[12:31] ---
    What?
[12:32] ---
    Hey! You got into some kind of fight
    with the CBP, didn't you?
[12:35] ---
    Tell me the truth, Matoba! If you did--
[12:37] ---
    Really, there was nothing! We'll talk later.
[12:40] ---
    Hey, Matoba! Wait!
[12:49] ---
    She's still asleep?
[13:02] ---
    I can't take anymore...
[13:05] ---
    I need to do something.
[13:07] ---
    First, that crossbow.
[13:09] ---
    The trash gets picked up in the afternoon.
[13:10] ---
    It should still be in the dumpster.
[13:13] ---
    But I can't get out of this locked
    room in the form of a cat!
[13:29] ---
    I need help!
[13:34] ---
    Tilarna? She almost never texts me.
[13:40] ---
    Dear Cecil. I have a serious problem.
[13:44] ---
    Please come to my home as soon
    as you can. It's an emergency!
[13:50] ---
    What happened?
[13:54] ---
    "Don't tell Kei"?
[14:01] ---
    Okay, thanks, guys.
[14:08] ---
    Who the hell is Tilarna talking to?
[14:11] ---
    Hello? Tilarna?
[14:13] ---
    I saw your text. What's going on?
[14:22] ---
    Hello, kitty! No, I want to talk to Tilarna!
[14:27] ---
    You don't understand what I'm saying, do you?
[14:31] ---
    Anyway, I'm heading over.
[14:33] ---
    Be a good girl, okay?
[14:45] ---
    Hello?
[14:46] ---
    What the hell is going on?!
[14:48] ---
    With what?
[14:49] ---
    When I was there yesterday,
    there were 28 Semanian items found!
[14:53] ---
    And now I've only got 27!
[14:55] ---
    One is missing!
[14:57] ---
    Oh, I see.
[14:59] ---
    That's strange.
[15:01] ---
    Well, it happens, right?
    Things were a mess yesterday.
[15:06] ---
    Get me the missing one now,
    before I get you arrested for embezzlement!
[15:10] ---
    Come on. It's just a minor screw-up!
[15:14] ---
    Calm the hell down.
[15:17] ---
    Well...
[15:18] ---
    Just get it to me now! Got it?
[15:22] ---
    What the hell is his problem?
[15:48] ---
    Tilarna? Are you there?
[15:50] ---
    Is she not home? Tilarna?
[16:01] ---
    Jeez...
[16:07] ---
    I'm coming inside!
[16:12] ---
    Tilarna?
[16:20] ---
    Hey! What's going on?
[16:23] ---
    You did this, didn't you?
[16:29] ---
    Are you telling me you didn't do it?
[16:33] ---
    What?
[16:37] ---
    I know this is impossible, but...
    are you Tilarna?
[16:45] ---
    No way...
[16:47] ---
    You really are...
[16:49] ---
    A mildey did this?
[16:54] ---
    You need the crossbow back?
[16:57] ---
    The tool that caused this?
[17:01] ---
    It's in the dumpster outside?
[17:05] ---
    Why would you put something so important there?
[17:09] ---
    The trash truck?
[17:10] ---
    They'll take the trash away!
[17:15] ---
    Without that bow,
    you may not be able to turn back?
[17:19] ---
    Oh, no!
[17:24] ---
    Ce... Ce!
[17:27] ---
    If you're Tilarna, then...
[17:30] ---
    Ce!
[17:32] ---
    Hey!
[17:49] ---
    Hello?
[17:50] ---
    It's me, Matoba.
[17:51] ---
    Is O'Neill in?
[17:53] ---
    I heard he was still living here.
[17:57] ---
    The boss? Just a second.
[17:59] ---
    Man, my head hurts.
[18:10] ---
    Hey, I'm coming in.
[18:19] ---
    Hey there, mister.
[18:21] ---
    Kenny, what the hell is with that outfit?
[18:24] ---
    What? I always sleep like this.
[18:29] ---
    I can't sleep without my pajamas.
[18:31] ---
    And this mess?
[18:34] ---
    There was a party last night.
[18:36] ---
    And the man on the floor?
[18:38] ---
    Um, no idea.
[18:42] ---
    Who is this guy?
[18:44] ---
    Where the hell is O'Neill?
[18:46] ---
    I can't find him...
[18:50] ---
    Last I remembered, he drank
    soda water mixed with vodka,
[18:53] ---
    ketchup, and habanero sauce,
    and was doing pelvic thrusts on the table...
[19:07] ---
    Where did you get a goat?
[19:10] ---
    I'm not sure. He wasn't here yesterday.
[19:15] ---
    What a mess.
[19:18] ---
    O'Neill isn't here.
[19:21] ---
    Maybe the goat ate him?
[19:25] ---
    That's ridiculous.
    I need him to check something for me.
[19:30] ---
    Hey, get off me!
[19:39] ---
    Did I just hear...
[19:41] ---
    Forgive me, Lord, for I am
    within your blessings...
[19:46] ---
    Where are you, O'Neill?
[19:48] ---
    It hurts to breathe... It hurts so much...
[19:51] ---
    I will drown within the flesh of your blessings
[19:54] ---
    and come to you in your kingdom...
[20:00] ---
    There you are.
[20:02] ---
    Hey, get off the man, lady.
[20:04] ---
    I'm afraid that's impossible.
[20:05] ---
    When the Virgin Mary gets like this,
    she won't wake up for at least 12 hours.
[20:09] ---
    The Virgin Mary? She's a prostitute, right?
[20:11] ---
    Yes. But that's what they call her.
[20:24] ---
    Take this.
[20:36] ---
    Mister, that was mean.
[20:39] ---
    Well, I didn't think she'd react like that.
[20:41] ---
    Shouldn't we call an ambulance?
[20:53] ---
    You're Tilarna, right?
[20:55] ---
    It's not a dream, right?
[20:58] ---
    The garbage truck! What happened to it?
[21:04] ---
    Oh, no!
[21:05] ---
    I need to chase after it!
[21:07] ---
    Are you coming too?
[21:10] ---
    Okay!
[21:14] ---
    First, let's find the garbage truck.
[21:17] ---
    It hasn't been that long,
    so it should still be close.
[21:23] ---
    What? Did you find it?
[21:33] ---
    "Lower the blinds. I won't be able
    to keep living if someone sees me."
[21:38] ---
    Jeez, we're in a hurry!
[21:57] ---
    Let's hurry!
[23:36] ---
    "Next time"
    Next time on COP CRAFT.