E2 - How To Spend a Long Night

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Equator Sauna
SIGN    How To Spend a Long Night
[01:35] Kakihana
    You must be joking.
[01:36] Kakihana
    You traded numbers with Shirakawa-san?
[01:38] Odokawa
    Yeah. The conversation just
    went in that direction.
[01:41] Kakihana
    Shit, I'd curse you to death if I could.
[01:43] Odokawa
    Kill me yourself.
[01:45] Odokawa
    Why be indirect about it?
[01:46] Kakihana
    I know. I bet she just wants
    an easy way to call a taxi.
[01:50] Kakihana
    Skip the pick-up fee, y'know—
[01:51] Odokawa
    Actually, she said she wanted to meet up
    for lunch or dinner on her days off.
[01:55] Kakihana
    Liar.
[01:58] Shibagaki
    Our solo performance was a huge success.
SIGN    Privately-Owned Taxi
[02:02] Baba
    Tickets were sold out.
[02:03] Shibagaki
    I wanna quit my
    part time job already.
[02:05] Baba
    I already quit mine.
[02:06] Shibagaki
    Huh? When you haven't written any jokes?
[02:09] Baba
    My girlfriend takes care of me.
[02:11] Shibagaki
    You're a piece of shit.
[02:12] Baba
    My girlfriend said I could quit.
[02:14] Shibagaki
    Bonnou Illumination formed four years ago,
[02:17] Shibagaki
    and they live in a place
    where rent is 400,000.
[02:19] Shibagaki
    Doesn't that sting?
[02:20] Baba
    Well, it is what it is.
[02:24] Shibagaki
    Why haven't we found any success on TV?
[02:27] Shibagaki
    The other day, I got caught up
    in vanity searching.
[02:29] Baba
    You shouldn't do that.
[02:30] Shibagaki
    I searched for "Homosapiens funny"
    and got hit with
[02:32] Shibagaki
    a storm of "Homosapiens aren't funny."
[02:34] Baba
    You really shouldn't vanity search.
[02:36] Shibagaki
    Comedy requires intelligence
    and culture to understand.
[02:39] Baba
    That's the bare minimum.
[02:41] Shibagaki
    In other words,
    the general public are idiots.
[02:43] Baba
    Here we go again.
[02:44] Shibagaki
    But that doesn't stop them from judging us.
[02:46] Shibagaki
    Keep your mouths shut, idiots.
[02:47] Shibagaki
    Are you listening? Being a creator
    is a one-way street.
[02:50] Shibagaki
    Don't try to get involved.
[02:51] Shibagaki
    Suppressing your own creativity
    in order to cater to society's values
[02:54] Shibagaki
    produces mediocre results. Damn amateurs.
[02:57] Baba
    Isn't responding to consumers'
    needs part of our job, though?
[02:59] Shibagaki
    We're not building household
    appliances here.
[03:02] Shibagaki
    Our opinions should be the priority
[03:03] Shibagaki
    when we're going after
    people's sensibilities.
[03:05] Shibagaki
    It's up to us to decide, "Nah, that wasn't
    quite right. Let's try something else."
[03:09] Baba
    Uh, we've received some fan mail.
[03:11] Baba
    It's from high school student
    Satoshi Nagashima-kun from Tokyo.
[03:13] Shibagaki
    This guy again?
[03:15] Baba
    "Good evening."
[03:16] Baba
    "I went to see the Homosapiens
    solo performance."
[03:18] Baba
    "It's typically fans who attend
    solo performances,
[03:21] Baba
    so it's only natural that
    your audience will laugh."
[03:23] Baba
    "Also, I think it's great that you guys believe
    in your own value and have conviction."
[03:28] Baba
    "However, as professionals,
    I think it's embarrassing for you
[03:31] Baba
    to knock people who don't recognize
    your talent as uncultured amateurs."
[03:36] Baba
    "Only after you've acknowledged
    other perspectives,
[03:38] Baba
    stuck to your guns, and achieved success
[03:39] Baba
    can you call yourselves performers."
[03:42] Baba
    "Don't mistake overconfidence
    for confidence."
[03:45] Baba
    "Also, compared to Bonnou Illumination,
    you're way less charming."
[03:50] Baba
    "P.S. You managed to
    cover it up with your energy,
[03:52] Baba
    but the final joke of your solo show
    isn't funny when written out."
[03:56] Baba
    "Keep at it."
[03:57] Shibagaki
    Someone bring that jerk here.
[03:58] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Do you feel awkward?
[04:00] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Huh?
[04:02] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I wouldn't say awkward.
[04:05] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I listen to it every week.
    I turned it on out of habit.
[04:09] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Odokawa-san, why can't you sleep?
[04:13] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I've forgotten how to sleep.
    I can't remember how I used to do it.
[04:18] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Want to know a secret?
[04:25] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    You count sheep.
[04:26] (Flashback) Odokawa
    You make it sound like
    you came up with it yourself,
[04:28] (Flashback) Odokawa
    but that trick's been around forever.
[04:31] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Also, I think it's Cyndi Lauper.
[04:33] (Flashback) Odokawa
    What is?
[04:35] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    The MVP.
[04:36] (Flashback) Odokawa
    You watched "We Are the World"?
[04:44] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Odokawa-san, is there anyone you like?
[04:46] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Nope.
[04:47] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    What a waste.
[04:48] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Life's more fun when you're in love.
[04:50] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I'm too old for that.
[04:52] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    You're still only 41.
    Your life is just getting started.
[04:55] (Flashback) Odokawa
    How do you know that?
[04:56] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    I've seen your medical records.
[04:57] (Flashback) Odokawa
    You know all my personal
    information, don't you?
[04:59] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    What about your family?
[05:00] (Flashback) Odakawa
    They were gone before I knew it.
[05:02] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    When?
[05:02] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Late elementary school.
[05:04] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    How'd you support yourself?
[05:05] (Flashback) Odakawa
    What is this, a stress interview?
[05:07] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    I'm sorry. I overstepped my bounds.
[05:15] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Do you regret anything?
[05:17] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Maybe taking out a student loan
    to attend nursing school.
[05:21] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Why do you regret that?
[05:24] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    At the time, I was stubborn and
     didn't want to rely on my parents,
[05:27] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    but I feel like I should have.
[05:29] (Flashback) Odokawa
    You still haven't paid it off?
[05:35] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    No, I have.
[05:42] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Where were you born?
[05:44] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Miyazaki.
[05:45] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Sing me a Miyazaki folk song.
[05:47] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    The Japanese pepper tree in the yard...
[05:48] (Flashback) Odokawa
    You can actually sing one?
[05:51] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I only asked you because
    I assumed you couldn't.
[05:54] (Flashback) Odokawa
    It's kind of scary, too.
[05:57] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    I want to build a happy family
[06:00] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    so my parents back in Miyazaki
    don't have to worry about me.
[06:03] (Flashback) Odokawa
    You...
[06:04] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Miho Shirakawa.
[06:07] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Shirakawa-san, is there anyone you like?
[06:12] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Yes.
[06:19] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Huh. What's he like?
[06:21] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    What's he like? He's a little
     hard to describe.
[06:26] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Do you have a photo of him?
[06:28] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    I do. Would you like to see?
[06:29] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I would.
[06:31] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I'll tease Kakihana by telling him about it.
[06:45] Odokawa
    You've transcended all kinds of stuff
    to achieve a look of total serenity.
[06:49] Kakihana
    Hold on. I'm organizing
    my thoughts right now.
[06:54] Kakihana
    I hate to admit it, Odokawa,
    but you've got a chance.
[06:57] Odokawa
    At what?
[06:59] Kakihana
    At the rate we're going,
[07:00] Kakihana
    both of us are headed straight
    for eternal bachelorhood.
[07:02] Kakihana
    Snagging a beautiful girl like her
    would be a huge upset.
[07:05] Odokawa
    It's not like that.
[07:07] Kakihana
    You don't like her?
[07:08] Odokawa
    That's not it.
[07:10] Kakihana
    So, you like her?
[07:11] Odokawa
    I don't particularly like her, either.
[07:13] Kakihana
    What if you had to choose?
[07:14] Odokawa
    Why force me to answer a difficult
     question in black or white terms?
[07:17] Odokawa
    Who are you, Mr. Children?
[07:18] Kakihana
    I'm asking which way you lean.
[07:21] Odokawa
    Well... I guess toward liking her.
[07:23] Kakihana
    How much?
[07:23] Odokawa
    How much what?
[07:24] Kakihana
    I'm asking how big your affection is for her.
[07:28] Odokawa
    About the size of a
    North American supplement.
[07:29] Kakihana
    In some ways, that's huge.
[07:32] Odokawa
    What should I do?
[07:34] Kakihana
    You shouldn't be too careful.
[07:37] Kakihana
    They say women are
    as fickle as autumn weather,
[07:39] Kakihana
    and that you should strike
    while the iron is hot.
[07:41] Kakihana
    But if you're too aggressive,
    she'll think you're a desperate old man,
[07:45] Kakihana
    so it's a tough balancing act.
[07:47] Kakihana
    If it were me, I'd tease her a little
    by giving her the cold shoulder,
[07:50] Kakihana
    and then smile kindly at her
    when I see her at the clinic.
[07:52] Odokawa
    Just shut up already.
[07:53] Kakihana
    Shut up?
[07:55] Odokawa
    When I asked myself
    why I'm getting advice
[07:57] Odokawa
    from a guy who's still looking for a wife,
[07:58] Odokawa
    it all started to sound like static.
[08:00] Kakihana
    Yeah, but real talk, I bet your
     parents would be ecstatic
[08:04] Kakihana
    if you were married
    by the time they returned.
[08:07] Kakihana
    Don't you want them to meet their grandkids?
[08:09] Odokawa
    I'd rather show the people
    who covered my living expenses
[08:14] Odokawa
    after my parents left that I'm happy.
[08:17] Kakihana
    You mean that support group, right?
[08:24] Kakihana
    You never get in the bath, Odokawa.
[08:27] Kakihana
    Wanna stop by Taeko's place?
[08:29] Odokawa
    Nah, I'm working tonight.
[08:36] Odokawa
    Hey, don't take pictures
    in the changing room.
[08:39] Kakihana
    Who cares? There's nobody here.
[08:41] Kakihana
    Taeko said she hasn't seen your
    face in a while. She misses you.
[08:46] Poster
    It doesn't matter that nobody's here.
    It says it's prohibited.
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SIGN    Online
SIGN    Shiho, 18 years old, Tokyo
SIGN    Nice to meet you. I was intrigued by your very genuine-looking photo, so I sent you a message. Feel free to message back.
SIGN    Shiho, 18 years old, Tokyo
[09:07] Odokawa
    Are you listening, Kakihana?
SIGN    How to Fill Out a Job Application
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SIGN    The other day I ordered a corner highball from a foreign-looking waiter at an izakaya, and he brought me a highball with coke. Just how good is my pronunciation?
SIGN    Taichi Kabasawa
SIGN    2 hours ago
[09:40] Kabasawa
    How am I supposed to go viral, damn it?
[09:44] Mom
    Taichi, go get in the bath!
[09:46] Kabasawa
    Okay!
SIGN    Shofutei Donraku
SIGN    5 hours ago
SIGN    We were told young people aren't watching TV, but popular tweets tend to be about TV, and people who brag about not watching it are just addicted to their phones. Not only that, but they're idiots who think they're actively gathering information.
[09:55] Kabasawa
    140,000 r-retweets...
SIGN    Replying to @donrakutei
SIGN    There it is lol old people causing problems again lmaoooo
SIGN    Real Japanese Man
SIGN    Replying to @donrakutei
SIGN    Your rakugo isn't very funny.
SIGN    Taichi_Kabasawa
SIGN    2 hours ago
SIGN    Hold on lol I was telling my taxi driver that I was having trouble finding a job, so he took my phone and was like, "Check this out; it'll cheer you up," and took a picture of us lmao
SIGN    Mystery Kiss
[10:46] Nikaido
    Imai-san, you waited in line for me again.
[10:49] Imai
    Of course I did.
[10:50] Imai
    I've been waiting forever
    for you to debut, Rui-tan.
[10:53] Yamamoto
    I'm ready to take your picture.
[10:55] Nikaido
    How should we pose?
[10:58] Imai
    I already got pictures of us
    making a heart and linking arms.
[11:00] Imai
    What should we do?
[11:01] Nikaido
    Since you're so special,
    Imai-san, how about a hug?
[11:05] Imai
    What? Are you sure?
[11:11] Nikaido
    Since you're my last visitor today,
    I'll give you an autograph, too.
[11:15] Imai
    Thank you. I promise
    I'll buy your debut single.
[11:18] Nikaido
    Thanks, but...
[11:21] Nikaido
    I'm not sure it'll sell well.
[11:23] Imai
    Are things tough?
[11:25] Nikaido
    We had fewer people show up
    than expected again today.
[11:28] Imai
    I've been thinking.
[11:30] Imai
    Both Ichimura-san and Mitsuya-san
    would look better without masks.
[11:33] Imai
    They're so cute. It's a waste.
[11:35] Imai
    I assumed they'd take their masks
     off for the Polaroids.
[11:38] Imai
    Nobody wants a Polaroid if they're masked.
[11:40] Imai
    Oh, they may be cute, but of course
    they're not as cute as you, Rui-tan.
[11:44] Nikaido
    But those were the conditions for our debut.
[11:48] Imai
    I see. They've got their reasons, I guess.
[11:52] Imai
    Also...
[11:54] Imai
    Mitsuya-san's dancing has
    gotten a little sloppy.
[11:57] Imai
    Is she not feeling well?
[12:01] Nikaido
    She works part time while attending
    lessons and streaming from home.
[12:05] Nikaido
    She might be tired.
[12:07] Imai
    Sounds rough.
[12:09] Imai
    Don't push yourself too hard, Rui-tan.
[12:11] Nikaido
    Here.
[12:13] Imai
    Thank you, Rui-tan.
[12:15] Imai
    I'll promise I'll get rich and buy
    tons of your CDs and merch.
[12:18] Imai
    I'm just a waiter at a club
     right now, but—
[12:20] Yamamoto
    Time's up. Thank you.
[12:30] Yamamoto
    Ichimura and Mitsuya, we've got
    some time before the venue closes.
[12:34] Yamamoto
    Could you go outside
    and sell our leftover merch?
[12:37] Mitsuya
    You're kidding, right?
    Nikaido-san doesn't have to?
[12:39] Ichimura
    What can we do? Our sales
    aren't as good as Rui's.
[12:42] Ichimura
    No one cares about us.
[12:44] Yamamoto
    I'm really sorry.
[12:49] Mitsuya
    It's so embarrassing
    to go outside with this mask on.
[12:52] Mitsuya
    Ichimura-san, don't you think it's
    impossible for us to succeed?
[12:54] Mitsuya
    These masks prevent us from attracting
    big spenders like Nikaido-san.
[12:57] Ichimura
    I couldn't attract fans
    even if I took my mask off.
[13:00] Mitsuya
    Ichimura-san, you have
    too little self-esteem.
[13:04] Ichimura
    Yeah, well, I started my career
     maskless, and now I'm here.
[13:07] Ichimura
    If anything, it's crazy that you
     have any self-esteem at all.
[13:11] Mitsuya
    Maybe it's because my parents
    raised me with love.
[13:15] Ichimura
    That's crazy. You're right.
    That's a big factor.
[13:18] Ichimura
    My parents always told me
    that I couldn't do anything.
[13:23] Mitsuya
    Ichimura-san, when are you happiest?
[13:26] Ichimura
    When I'm in the bath.
[13:28] Mitsuya
    You sound like an old lady.
[13:29] Ichimura
    What about you, Mitsuya-san?
[13:31] Mitsuya
    When I'm eating.
    Especially if it's fried chicken.
[13:33] Ichimura
    You're crazy. That's crazy high in calories.
[13:35] Mitsuya
    Ichimura-san, your vocabulary is crazy bad.
[13:37] Ichimura
    What? You're crazy. What a crazy
    way to talk to your seniors.
[13:42] Yamamoto
    This is beyond our expectations.
    Great work, Nikaido.
[13:45] Yamamoto
    Even the online news is talking about you.
[13:48] Nikaido
    It's not enough.
[13:49] Nikaido
    We're less successful than we should be,
    given the commercial we put out.
[13:52] Nikaido
    We need more fans like Imai-san.
[13:55] Yamamoto
    That Imai guy was one
    of those five guys, right?
[14:07] Nikaido
    Yeah. He's probably the only one
    who's been following us since then.
[14:16] Yamamoto
    It's them.
[14:19] Yamamoto
    Hello, this is Yamamoto. Yes.
[14:22] Yamamoto
    Yes, it went smoothly. Yes.
[14:25] Yamamoto
    Half, right? Of course.
[14:28] Yamamoto
    What? A dash cam?
[14:32] Yamamoto
    I'll look for him.
[14:34] Yamamoto
    Do you know the driver's name?
[14:36] Yamamoto
    I'm not sure what I can do if you don't.
[14:39] Yamamoto
    You're right. Understood.
[14:44] Nikaido
    What did they say?
[14:45] Yamamoto
    It's fine. Nothing for you
    to worry about, Nikaido.
[15:07] Imai
    Excuse me, but could you take me
    to Shinjuku for 2,000 yen?
[15:10] Odokawa
    It costs about 3,500 yen to get
    from here to Shinjuku.
[15:13] Imai
    Can't you make an exception?
[15:15] Odokawa
    I'll go as far as I can.
[15:18] Imai
    No, please take me to Shinjuku!
[15:19] Odokawa
    Your haggling style is
    so pushy that it's creepy.
[15:22] Imai
    Please. I'm broke.
[15:25] Odokawa
    Fine, then.
[15:35] Imai
    Damn it. All losers.
[15:38] Odokawa
    If you have the money to buy those,
    you should set some aside for cab fare.
[15:41] Imai
    It's not like that.
[15:43] Imai
    I'm going to use the money
    to buy Mystery Kiss CDs.
[15:46] Odokawa
    Mystery Kiss?
[15:47] Imai
    You don't know them?
[15:48] Imai
    It's a three-person idol group
    that just debuted.
[15:50] Imai
    After struggling for two years,
    they finally debuted.
[15:53] Odokawa
    That's not a very long struggle.
[15:54] Imai
    Thinking back, I encountered them a year ago
[15:56] Imai
    at a concert I happened to attend.
[15:58] Imai
    Back then, there were only five
    people in the audience, including me.
[16:01] Imai
    But today, all those fans came to see them.
[16:04] Imai
    I feel happy, but also kind
    of sad. I feel conflicted.
[16:08] Imai
    But, like, knowing them since way back
    gives me a sense of superiority.
[16:12] Imai
    I was one of those five fans.
[16:15] Imai
    I'll never forget how I felt then.
[16:18] Imai
    Rui Nikaido's overpowering aura.
[16:20] Imai
    Her singing reminded me of Janis Joplin.
[16:22] Imai
    Her innate idol-like qualities contrasted
    with the ambition that flowed out of her.
[16:26] Imai
    Yuki Mitsuya's exceptional physical
    abilities backed by her next-level dancing.
[16:30] Imai
    Shiho Ichimura's genuine modesty.
[16:33] Imai
    Each idol had a unique personality.
[16:35] Imai
    They were the holy trinity of idols.
[16:38] Odokawa
    You've got a lot to say about them,
[16:40] Odokawa
    but their personalities got
    less impressive as you went on.
[16:42] Imai
    That's because ultimately,
    I'm a Nikaido fan.
[16:45] Imai
    I even made a Nikaido fan account.
[16:47] Odokawa
    Uh-huh.
[16:48] Imai
    Anyway, today was their
    debut CD preorder event.
SIGN    Mystery Kiss
    Debut Single "Supernatural
    Love Phenomenon" CD Preorder
     12/25/2021 Polaroid Event Ticket
SIGN    Rui Nikaido
[16:52] Imai
    Each preorder comes with Polaroid tickets.
[16:54] Imai
    The more you preorder,
    the more Polaroids you get to take.
[16:57] Imai
    You can have Rui Nikaido all to yourself.
[16:59] Odokawa
    Assuming you're right, if you've
    got the money for lottery tickets,
[17:02] Odokawa
    you should spend it on CDs instead.
[17:03] Imai
    What are you talking about?
    All I can afford is one CD.
[17:07] Imai
    I'd rather win the lottery
    and make Rui Nikaido all mine.
[17:11] Odokawa
    You're betting on slim odds.
[17:13] Imai
    Are you a lucky man, Driver?
[17:15] Imai
    After all, they call it
    catching a "brake," right?
[17:18] Imai
    I bet you've got great luck.
[17:21] Odokawa
    A long time ago, I survived an accident
    that should've killed me.
[17:25] Odokawa
    So maybe I am lucky.
[17:30] Imai
    If you were lucky, you wouldn't
    have gotten into an accident.
[17:33] Odokawa
    I guess you're right.
[17:34] Odokawa
    We've arrived in Shinjuku. Is here okay?
[17:36] Imai
    Yeah! Sorry I only have 2,000 yen.
[17:39] Imai
    Since you're a lucky driver,
[17:41] Imai
    could I get your seven favorite
    numbers between 1 and 37?
[17:53] Odokawa
    2, 10, 12, 18, 20, 32, 33.
[17:58] Imai
    Hey, that sounds pretty good.
[18:00] Imai
    I'm off to buy a lottery ticket.
[18:02] Odokawa
    Hey, you still had money?
[18:06] Odokawa
    Jeez.
SIGN    New message
SIGN    Miho Shirakawa
SIGN    Can we meet now?
SIGN    Can we meet now?
[18:21] Shibagaki
    Sorry, are you available?
[18:26] Shibagaki
    Sorry to interrupt your break.
[18:28] Shibagaki
    To Japan Broadcasting, please.
[18:39] Baba
    What are you watching?
[18:41] Shibagaki
    I thought I might find something
    we could use on the broadcast.
[18:43] Baba
    You're studying hard.
[18:45] Shibagaki
    Look. Doesn't this just piss you off?
SIGN    MOWMOW LULU GYABAN's "Sadness in the Subway" cover
[18:51] Baba
    I know what you mean.
    I'd rather listen to the actual song.
[18:53] Shibagaki
    Some of them are moving, though.
[18:56] Baba
    Wh-What are you talking about?
    Some of them are moving?
[18:59] Shibagaki
    Too slow.
[19:01] Shibagaki
    So what are you doing?
[19:02] Baba
    Huh? "Zooden."
SIGN    Homosapi Baba Rank: 80 Development points: 355 Animals: 56
[19:04] Shibagaki
    "Zooden?"
[19:05] Baba
    It's a mobile game.
[19:08] Shibagaki
    Hold on. You named your
    account "Homosapi Baba"
[19:11] Shibagaki
    and even uploaded a photo of yourself.
[19:12] Shibagaki
    Don't you know you're a celebrity?
[19:14] Baba
    I can play with our fans this way.
    What's wrong with that?
[19:16] Shibagaki
    Use that time to write jokes instead.
[19:18] Baba
    It's super addicting.
[19:20] Baba
    You raise animals and stuff to rank up.
[19:22] Shibagaki
    You've only ever been raised.
    How could you raise anything?
[19:26] Shibagaki
    Focus on ranking up your comedy.
    You're dead last right now.
[19:28] Baba
    You think I'm dead last at comedy?
[19:30] Shibagaki
    Not just among professionals.
[19:31] Shibagaki
    I mean among all people.
    Don't get the wrong idea.
[19:33] Baba
    I'm dead last at comedy among all people?
[19:36] Shibagaki
    So, how are things with your girlfriend?
[19:39] Baba
    I can't talk about that here.
[19:41] Shibagaki
    Don't be so self-conscious.
[19:43] Shibagaki
    The percentage of people who know us is as low
    as the interest rate on a fixed deposit account.
[19:46] Baba
    Well, my girlfriend has the opportunity
    to achieve the percentage of cacao
[19:49] Baba
    in a very bitter bar of chocolate.
[19:51] Shibagaki
    Are you saying we don't?
[19:53] Odokawa
    I know you guys. You're Homosapiens, right?
[19:55] Odokawa
    I always listen to you guys on the radio.
[19:57] Shibagaki
    Seriously?
[19:58] Odokawa
    I didn't know what you looked like,
    but I recognized your voices.
[20:00] Shibagaki
    That's the problem.
[20:02] Shibagaki
    Driver, what do you think
    we need to be successful?
[20:04] Odokawa
    I don't know. Luck, maybe?
[20:06] Shibagaki
    If we were lucky, we wouldn't
    need to work hard.
[20:08] Shibagaki
    We want to be the best act in the nation.
[20:11] Odokawa
    It seems to me like you're
    not equally committed.
[20:15] Odokawa
    By the way, how did
    the N-1 preliminaries go?
[20:18] Baba
    We made it past Round 2.
[20:19] Odokawa
    That's impressive.
[20:21] Shibagaki
    Hey, Baba. What would you do
    if I said we should dissolve the group?
[20:25] Baba
    I'd think it couldn't be helped.
[20:27] Baba
    I don't really understand comedy.
[20:29] Baba
    I hate to admit it,
[20:32] Baba
    but you're the only one I think is truly
    funny from the bottom of my heart.
[20:35] Baba
    Even an older comedian
    said you've got talent.
[20:39] Baba
    That you'll be successful someday.
[20:40] Baba
    So if I'm holding you back, then
    I think I should step out of your way.
[20:45] Shibagaki
    You've got it all wrong.
    You shouldn't be talking about quitting.
[20:48] Shibagaki
    Your fatal flaw is that you're not
    frustrated after he said that about us.
[20:51] Baba
    I can't help that I'm not frustrated!
[20:54] Baba
    Are you saying you can
    control your emotions?
[20:56] Baba
    If people could do that, all unrequited
    love would cease existing!
[20:58] Shibagaki
    That's actually pretty funny!
[21:00] Shibagaki
    You should be putting
     that on the airwaves!
[21:02] Baba
    You say I'm funny, but I don't
    know what you want me to do!
[21:04] Shibagaki
    It's that way you talked back to me
    when you felt cornered!
[21:07] Baba
    Who wouldn't talk back
    after being pushed like that?
[21:09] Shibagaki
    Driver, during middle school,
    this guy got into a fistfight
[21:12] Shibagaki
    with a girl that ended in a draw.
[21:14] Baba
    That has nothing to do
    with this conversation!
[21:16] Baba
    Quit talking about my personal life!
[21:18] Shibagaki
    You're a crap student, a crap
    fighter, and a crap comedian.
[21:21] Shibagaki
    Is there anything you can do?
[21:22] Baba
    My academic abilities aren't part of this!
[21:24] Baba
    We went to the same high school!
[21:26] Baba
    We're not that different!
[21:29] Baba
    It's our manager.
[21:32] Baba
    We'll be arriving at the studio soon.
[21:33] Baba
    Yes. We're in a taxi.
[21:35] Baba
    What? Yeah, he's right next to me.
[21:38] Baba
    Yes. Yes.
[21:40] Baba
    What? Who, me?
[21:44] Baba
    Yes. Tomorrow? That's fine.
[21:47] Baba
    Yes. Seriously?
[21:49] Baba
    Yes. Yes. Goodbye.
[21:54] Shibagaki
    What'd he say?
[21:57] Baba
    It's a regular appearance.
[21:58] Shibagaki
    You're kidding. On what?
[22:00] Baba
    Some kind of daytime food show.
[22:02] Shibagaki
    That's totally great. Ye—
[22:03] Baba
    It's just me.
[22:21] Odakawa
    Where t—
SIGN    Miho Shirakawa
SIGN    I'll wait at the park across from the clinic.
SIGN    New message
SIGN    Next Time: Beware of Borrowed Plumes
[23:35] Odokawa
    How are things lately, ma'am?
[23:36] Taeko
    With what?
[23:37] Odokawa
    With Kakihana.
[23:38] Taeko
    There's nothing to report.
[23:39] Odokawa
    Well, he's certainly hopeless.
[23:41] Taeko
    A dumb, hopeless monkey.
[23:43] Odokawa
    Keep your voice down. He'll hear you.
[23:45] Taeko
    Crap. We made eye contact.
[23:46] Odokawa
    Ma'am, got any New Year's resolutions?
[23:48] Taeko
    Maybe I'll open a second shop.