10 - Did You Open Your Pyloric Canal?!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] ---
    Wake up, time to go on patrol--
[00:05] ---
    Hmm?
[00:07] ---
    He's usually asleep at this hour...
[00:09] ---
    Moi! Tamotsu went out.
[00:11] ---
    I, a cowgirl, will cover for him!
[00:14] ---
    Huh?
[00:15] ---
    Tamotsu said he's meeting up with
    an old friend whom he hasn't seen in a while.
[00:20] ---
    Did you brush up on fashion?
[00:22] ---
    You used to just wear all black.
[00:25] ---
    Same to you. You seem different, too.
[00:28] ---
    Hmm?
[00:29] ---
    You seem more mature, or something...
[00:31] ---
    Yeah... Well... A lot has happened
    after I started living here...
[00:36] ---
    Well... No matter how different we look,
[00:38] ---
    our friendship from middle school is eternal--
[00:41] ---
    Hmm?
[00:44] ---
    Wh-What is that...?
[00:47] ---
    Is that a Bugged One trick, too?
[00:50] ---
    Hey, you're sitting next to...
[00:54] ---
    Hey, hey, I just told you.
[00:56] ---
    This is my girlfriend I met at work.
[00:59] ---
    Her name is Ubume.
[01:02] ---
    "The fact that a friend now has a girlfriend"
[01:04] ---
    Wait, you're sitting next to...
[01:07] ---
    Like I said, my girlfriend!
[01:08] ---
    Girl... Girl... Girlfriend?!
[02:45] ---
    "TRIP 10 - Did You Open Your Pyloric Canal?!"
[02:47] ---
    This is insane... He was
    worse with people than I was...
[02:52] ---
    --Did he start a new life in college?
[02:53] ---
    --Tamotsu's eyes... They are fermented...
    --Did he start a new life in college?
[02:55] ---
    Like a surströmming...
    [Swedish fermented herring]
[02:57] ---
    He seemed to be
    looking forward to seeing his friend.
[03:01] ---
    I wonder what happened?
[03:02] ---
    Probably something stupid, as usual.
[03:07] ---
    It most certainly is not stupid!
[03:09] ---
    Huh?! Girlfriend?!
[03:11] ---
    Big Bro, you wanted a girlfriend?
[03:13] ---
    Yeah. I can't forgive him
    for finding love before me!
[03:17] ---
    I trusted him!
[03:18] ---
    I thought Tamotsu was not
    interested in romance.
[03:22] ---
    I think it really hurt him that
    his friend found a girlfriend first.
[03:26] ---
    It's too bad that we can't be your girlfriend.
[03:29] ---
    Yeah.
[03:31] ---
    Oh, I hope a girl would just
    fall out of the sky...
[03:35] ---
    Preferably along with
    a robot exclusive to me!
[03:37] ---
    Too bad. No girls fall from the sky.
[03:41] ---
    Neither do robots, of course!
[03:43] ---
    Stop being an idiot and let's go on patrol!
[03:45] ---
    No! I don't want to go on patrol
    if I don't have a girlfriend!
[03:49] ---
    How are dating and patrolling related?
[03:51] ---
    On so many levels!
[03:53] ---
    I mean... My friend finds love
    and is enjoying the prime of his life!
[03:58] ---
    Meanwhile, I'm stuck living out
    my short and undramatic life
[04:03] ---
    dealing with Bugged Ones
    from a warehouse in Akiba.
[04:05] ---
    Is it so terrible that I desire
    a pretty flower to accompany that sad life?
[04:12] ---
    Oh, just once in my life I want to
    go on a date with a cute, honest girl...
[04:18] ---
    I feel sorry for Big Bro...
[04:20] ---
    Hmm?
[04:25] ---
    Big Bro?
[04:27] ---
    I don't mind being your
    girlfriend and going on a date!
[04:30] ---
    Um... That's wrong on so many levels...
[04:32] ---
    Then how about me?
[04:34] ---
    Huh?!
[04:35] ---
    With Arisa...
[04:37] ---
    Yeah, do that! Go out with her!
[04:40] ---
    It's not like Mayo would ever
    go on a date with you!
[04:44] ---
    I'm sure Mayo has no idea about where to go.
[04:47] ---
    She doesn't even like you at all.
[04:49] ---
    So you should jump on this opportunity and--
[04:50] ---
    Ahem! That's not true!
[04:53] ---
    Tamotsu! We're going out on a date!
[04:55] ---
    Huh? Why?!
[04:56] ---
    It's just practice! For when
    you get a real girlfriend!
[05:00] ---
    A real fake date!
[05:03] ---
    Practice?
[05:05] ---
    I guess if it's just for practice,
    I don't mind going out with Mayo.
[05:08] ---
    It's not for real!
[05:09] ---
    I wouldn't care if it was for real, of course,
    since I don't want to be your girlfriend!
[05:14] ---
    Yeah, I know.
[05:15] ---
    I don't care if you know!
[05:17] ---
    Come on! We're going on
    our fake date and patrol!
[05:20] ---
    Wait, now? Already? Hey!
[05:32] ---
    Hey.
[05:34] ---
    So this is a date,
    but what are we specifically doing?
[05:36] ---
    Well, of course, that's... Um...
SIGN    "Niwaka" "Sorry to make you cover for your brother all the time" "Mayo, I'm at the patrol spot for today!"
[05:42] ---
    Just do the things that make you happy!
SIGN    "Okay, I'm taking Tamotsu" there right now!" "I'll be waiting!" "Just do the things that make you happy!"
[05:44] ---
    Good luck!
[05:46] ---
    The things that make me happy...
[05:48] ---
    Hmm?
[05:49] ---
    Yes, all dates must start with a meal!
[05:52] ---
    Let's eat something nice!
[05:55] ---
    Good, good. Start with the basics.
[05:57] ---
    Yeah, we eat the kebabs and
    burgers from upstairs too often.
[06:01] ---
    I know, right? So I'll show you
    my favorite Akiba gourmet spots!
[06:07] ---
    "Pure Indian-Style Curry"
[06:08] ---
    The famous curry specialty restaurant
    Bengal, founded in 1973.
[06:14] ---
    I've never been here before.
[06:16] ---
    If you haven't had this curry,
    you haven't even started to learn about Akiba.
[06:19] ---
    But it takes so much courage
    to enter a place for the first time...
[06:22] ---
    Really?
[06:23] ---
    Like, won't they treat me badly
    because I'm not a regular?
[06:26] ---
    Not in this place.
[06:28] ---
    What if they pretend to be Indian
    but are actually Pakistani?
[06:31] ---
    Why would you care?
[06:33] ---
    Hey, two beef square curries and two lassis.
[06:36] ---
    I see, a smooth Indian curry.
[06:40] ---
    No, no.
[06:41] ---
    Huh?
[06:42] ---
    The curry at Bengal is "Indian-style".
    It's not exactly Indian or European.
[06:48] ---
    It's a unique, original style.
[06:50] ---
    I see...
[06:55] ---
    Delicious!
[06:56] ---
    It has the fragrance and spice of Indian curry,
[06:58] ---
    as well as the classy feel of European curry...
[07:01] ---
    A true East-Meets-West,
    the Gandhara of delicacies!
[07:05] ---
    The meat, boiled to perfect softness...
    Words cannot describe it!
[07:09] ---
    It's a filling serving, too.
[07:12] ---
    I know, right? You can get double meat, too.
[07:16] ---
    Delicious!
[07:18] ---
    They're eating and getting along!
[07:20] ---
    The next step is key!
[07:25] ---
    You're right, nobody should discuss
    curry in Akiba without experiencing this.
[07:29] ---
    The cinnamon in the lassi
    is an interesting twist, too.
[07:32] ---
    Okay, let's go to the next place.
[07:34] ---
    Huh? Next?
[07:35] ---
    Next is this place!
[07:38] ---
    "Chinese Retaurant Gansen"
    "This building, B1 floor"
[07:38] ---
    "Kari... kawa"?
[07:39] ---
    "Gansen!" This is Akiba's
    most famous Chinese place.
[07:42] ---
    "Recommended dinner dish"
    "Meat lovers, assemble~"
[07:42] ---
    Wow, huge menu diversity, too.
[07:45] ---
    If you follow the owner Gan-chan online,
[07:48] ---
    you can hear about the weekly fried
    rice specials and limited dishes.
[07:53] ---
    This is the weekend-only
    beef tendon starchy sauce fried rice!
[07:56] ---
    Wow, looks great.
[07:58] ---
    Mix up the soft boiled egg on top...
[08:02] ---
    Here I come!
[08:06] ---
    Oh, delicious!
[08:08] ---
    That looks great!
[08:10] ---
    Why are they eating again?
[08:11] ---
    Delicious... The fried rice is both
    dry and smooth, a perfect balance...
[08:15] ---
    The combination of that and
    the boiled beef tendons in sauce...
[08:20] ---
    It's like Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang...
[08:27] ---
    So good!
[08:30] ---
    "Kitchen Jiro"
[08:31] ---
    Here's our next stop.
[08:34] ---
    Eating again?!
[08:35] ---
    Kitchen Jiro. I've heard of the place,
    but have never tried it.
[08:40] ---
    This is the most famous set meal place!
[08:42] ---
    We just had curry,
[08:44] ---
    so let's try minced meat cutlet
    and fried chicken, large rice!
[08:47] ---
    Wait... You're still eating?
[08:49] ---
    Of course I am!
    We have to eat when we can.
[08:52] ---
    You don't eat much, do you?
[08:55] ---
    I disagree...
[08:56] ---
    The meals here are big, yet reasonably priced.
[09:00] ---
    It tastes good, of course,
    and the miso soup addition is great!
[09:04] ---
    Look how juicy the minced meat cutlet is!
    The onions are so sweet!
[09:10] ---
    Not to mention how great it goes with rice!
[09:14] ---
    I see...
[09:16] ---
    Well then.
[09:17] ---
    Hey, Tamotsu!
[09:19] ---
    Wow, the breading is so crispy!
    I can eat this even when I'm full.
[09:25] ---
    Wait... is this an indirect...?
[09:27] ---
    What is it?
[09:29] ---
    Nothing! Delicious!
[09:32] ---
    You eat everything like you really enjoy it.
[09:34] ---
    Huh?
[09:35] ---
    Just watching you makes me hungry.
[09:39] ---
    I guess that's a compliment?
[09:40] ---
    Thanks, I guess...
[09:42] ---
    Okay, next.
[09:44] ---
    What do you want to eat?
[09:50] ---
    This is less of a date
    and more of an eating tour.
[09:53] ---
    Four more places after that...
[09:56] ---
    I'm sorry, did I make you eat too much?
[09:59] ---
    Hmm? No, it's fine.
[10:01] ---
    I did think you eat a lot though.
[10:07] ---
    I... I've lived here a long time.
[10:11] ---
    A lot of things have happened.
[10:13] ---
    There was a time where there was
    almost nothing to eat.
[10:16] ---
    I was so hungry, and it was so painful...
[10:19] ---
    So I try to eat a lot when I can.
[10:24] ---
    I see.
[10:25] ---
    Well, eating when possible is part of
    staying happy as a human being, I guess.
[10:29] ---
    It also means that we're in a peaceful time.
[10:34] ---
    Tamotsu...
[10:36] ---
    Okay, next, let's go to my favorite place!
[10:39] ---
    "Ramen Kagemusha"
[10:41] ---
    "Ramen Kagemusha"?
[10:43] ---
    It's one of those heavy-hitting types
    that's popular these days.
[10:45] ---
    I thought you'd like it.
[10:47] ---
    Tamotsu, can you still eat?
[10:49] ---
    I'll just have one ramen with you.
[10:52] ---
    Excuse me?
[10:55] ---
    Ouch... What's going on...?
[10:58] ---
    Hey, you're a vigilante!
[11:00] ---
    What's wrong?!
[11:01] ---
    It's like... a black hole...
[11:04] ---
    Please, enough already!
[11:11] ---
    One more bowl!
    Now the bounty is up to 240,000 yen!
[11:15] ---
    Stop, please!
    You're running me out of business!
[11:19] ---
    I'm running out of noodles and soup, too!
[11:22] ---
    Huh?! You're the one that offered the bounty!
[11:26] ---
    Hurry up and make another bowl
    with extra toppings!
[11:30] ---
    Who's that guy?
[11:31] ---
    Unforgivable!
[11:33] ---
    Huh? Professor?
[11:34] ---
    That guy's preventing
    other people from eating ramen!
[11:38] ---
    We're all hungry out here!
[11:39] ---
    I've seen that guy on TV before...
[11:45] ---
    I remember! He's the world champion
    in corndog eating,
[11:48] ---
    the food soldier, Black Hole Kurota!
[11:51] ---
    I heard he lost to his rival
    Minimum Tashiro, and went missing...
[11:55] ---
    Whatever! Just stop him!
[11:58] ---
    Hey! Can't you see
    the other customers are waiting?!
[12:01] ---
    Huh?! Are you saying I'm not a customer?
[12:04] ---
    This place isn't for you to monopolize.
[12:07] ---
    Hey, I have the right to eat whatever I want!
[12:10] ---
    Do you want to challenge me
    to a food fight like that girl just now?
[12:15] ---
    If you beat me, I'll listen to you.
[12:18] ---
    So that's what happened...
[12:20] ---
    Accepted!
[12:21] ---
    I accept that challenge...
[12:23] ---
    As a member of the vigilantes
    that protect Akiba,
[12:26] ---
    I challenge you to a duel!
[12:30] ---
    "Food Fight"
[12:33] ---
    "Clamas TV"
[12:34] ---
    "Akihabara Food Fight"
[12:35] ---
    Hey, everyone! Another incident is here!
[12:37] ---
    A ramen food fight has suddenly begun
    right here in Horin Park!
[12:41] ---
    The reckless challenger
    taking on Black Hole Kurota
[12:45] ---
    is the leader of Electric Mayonnaise,
    Vacuum Mayonaka!
[12:48] ---
    Does she stand a chance
    with such a frail figure?!
[12:51] ---
    Additionally, the two have vowed
    that the loser pays for all food costs
[12:55] ---
    in Akihbara from today on!
[12:58] ---
    Things are getting out of hand!
[13:01] ---
    Don't worry. Mayo can beat him!
[13:03] ---
    But if she loses, who pays the money?
[13:06] ---
    Not me.
[13:07] ---
    Or me!
[13:08] ---
    Do you really think a little girl like you
    can beat me, a food soldier?
[13:13] ---
    Of course.
[13:14] ---
    You express no thanks to the food you eat.
[13:17] ---
    You have no right to overeat.
[13:19] ---
    Hah! All food is the same
    when it ends up in your stomach.
[13:23] ---
    The time limit is one hour!
[13:25] ---
    The one to eat the most ramen
    in that time wins!
[13:29] ---
    We're about to begin!
[13:31] ---
    Ready...
[13:34] ---
    Go!
[13:35] ---
    Now, the battle to decide
    the fate of Akiba dining has begun!
[13:40] ---
    They've both hit the ground running!
[13:43] ---
    Eat, Mayo. Eat for the future of Akiba.
[13:46] ---
    Good luck!
[13:48] ---
    One hour...
[13:49] ---
    Pacing will become a key element.
[13:51] ---
    This is delicious... I can keep eating this all day!
[13:54] ---
    That girl is good! Her water timing is perfect!
[13:58] ---
    Yeah, if you drink too much water,
    the noodles bloat up in your stomach!
[14:03] ---
    Next bowl!
[14:04] ---
    Next bowl, please!
[14:05] ---
    Wow! They've both finished
    the first bowl almost at the same time!
[14:08] ---
    So fast!
[14:09] ---
    I get full just watching them!
[14:12] ---
    Go, go, Ma!
[14:13] ---
    Next bowl!
[14:14] ---
    Next bowl, please!
[14:16] ---
    The two eaters are completely even!
[14:18] ---
    Next bowl, please!
[14:19] ---
    Next bowl!
[14:20] ---
    They've both finished their tenth bowls!
[14:22] ---
    The competition is intense!
[14:24] ---
    They're totally even!
[14:26] ---
    She needs to pull ahead somehow...
[14:27] ---
    This has to end somehow...
[14:30] ---
    I know!
[14:32] ---
    --Huh?
    --What?!
[14:34] ---
    Wow! Vacuum Mayonaka throws her ramen!
    Is she throwing the fight?!
[14:39] ---
    Wow! She's catching the noodles
    she flung with left-handed chopsticks!
[14:44] ---
    And she eats!
[14:46] ---
    She's throwing the noodles
    in the air, cooling them!
[14:50] ---
    She's saving the time she needs
    to cool it with her breath!
[14:54] ---
    Mayo! So cool!
[14:55] ---
    She's speeding up!
[14:57] ---
    Wow, Vacuum Mayonaka has started
    a solo eating loop! Such speed!
[15:03] ---
    Black Hole Kurota is left in the dust!
    Can she keep this up?!
[15:07] ---
    Dammit... Hey! Bring a pitcher of water!
[15:12] ---
    Water? Now?
[15:13] ---
    He's just going to fill himself up.
[15:16] ---
    I am world-famous Black Hole Kurota...
[15:19] ---
    I cannot lose!
[15:21] ---
    Wow, Kurota dumps water into his ramen!
[15:25] ---
    What?!
[15:26] ---
    What is that?!
[15:28] ---
    A defilement to the food!
[15:30] ---
    That's the forbidden taste-ruining
    technique, Darkness Engulfing!
[15:33] ---
    The soup is totally ruined!
[15:35] ---
    Hey! People worked hard
    to make that! How dare you--
[15:39] ---
    Hah! Who cares?! Taste is meaningless!
[15:42] ---
    This contest is about who eats the most!
[15:45] ---
    For that, I do anything it takes to eat more!
[15:48] ---
    Food turns to crap once it's in
    your stomach; it's all the same!
[15:53] ---
    Wow! Kurota literally washes the food down!
[15:57] ---
    That is what a food soldier
    who fell to the dark side looks like...
[16:00] ---
    It's almost like a drink!
[16:03] ---
    That's the technique
    Kurota developed in Akiba,
[16:09] ---
    Akiba Super-High Building Eating Style!
[16:14] ---
    It's extremely messy, but very fast!
[16:17] ---
    He takes back the lead!
[16:21] ---
    Dammit! She's...
[16:22] ---
    I'm not paying!
[16:24] ---
    Professor, I need...
[16:27] ---
    Huh? Why do you think I would
    conveniently happen to have a...
[16:30] ---
    In fact, I coincidentally do have that.
[16:32] ---
    I knew it! Let me borrow it!
[16:36] ---
    Mayo!
[16:37] ---
    Use this!
[16:40] ---
    This is... ice?
[16:42] ---
    Yeah! I used the instant ice making machine
    that the professor happened to have!
[16:46] ---
    Drop that in the ramen!
[16:49] ---
    Huh? But...
[16:51] ---
    Oh! I get it! Understood!
[16:54] ---
    Wow! Vacuum Mayonaka
    drops ice in her ramen!
[16:58] ---
    She begins rapidly eating the cooled ramen!
[17:03] ---
    I knew it! After all that talk
    about taste, you're the same!
[17:07] ---
    You're a dark side food soldier just like me,
    eating for the sake of eating!
[17:13] ---
    Oh no! Mayo fell to the dark side...
[17:17] ---
    Is she engulfed by rage and hate?
[17:20] ---
    No. She hasn't fallen to the dark side.
[17:24] ---
    Huh?
[17:25] ---
    Hey! Look at the ice she put in her ramen!
[17:29] ---
    That's frozen ramen soup!
[17:32] ---
    I get it! That would just cool the soup
    a little without ruining the taste!
[17:36] ---
    It's not Darkness Engulfing!
[17:37] ---
    What?!
[17:39] ---
    Vacuum Mayonaka is not on the dark side!
[17:43] ---
    She's the food soldier's new hope!
[17:46] ---
    Wow, Mayo is great!
[17:48] ---
    Time to take back the lead!
[17:50] ---
    Dammit! But I still have
    a one-bowl lead! If I keep this up--
[17:56] ---
    What's wrong? Kurota stopped!
[17:59] ---
    Kurota drank too much water!
[18:01] ---
    Yeah, with that much water, the noodles
    must be clogging up his stomach!
[18:06] ---
    One minute remaining!
[18:08] ---
    Next bowl, please!
[18:10] ---
    They are tied!
[18:12] ---
    I have to force it...
[18:18] ---
    Kurota reaches his limit!
    He can't eat anymore!
[18:22] ---
    But Vacuum has stopped, too!
[18:26] ---
    I... I'm at my limit, too... But!
[18:32] ---
    Time's up!
[18:34] ---
    Black Hole Kurota, 30 bowls!
[18:36] ---
    Vacuum Mayonaka, 30 bowls!
[18:39] ---
    And one bite!
[18:40] ---
    And thus...
[18:42] ---
    Vacuum Mayonaka wins the match!
[18:45] ---
    Great! Wow!
[18:49] ---
    Dammit... I lost to a little girl...
[18:51] ---
    So...
[18:53] ---
    About our agreement...
[18:56] ---
    I won't make you pay.
[18:58] ---
    Huh?
[18:59] ---
    Just promise to stop eating like that
    and enjoy the taste of food.
[19:03] ---
    Then you're fine.
[19:05] ---
    That's all it takes... to forgive me?
[19:09] ---
    Yes...
[19:10] ---
    I decline!
[19:12] ---
    Huh?!
[19:13] ---
    I can't let this...
[19:15] ---
    I can't let this stop my plan to starve
    and conquer Akiba by eating all of its food!
[19:24] ---
    A Bugged One!
[19:25] ---
    I will eat all of Akiba!
[19:28] ---
    For that, I have pledged
    allegiance to Metrotica!
[19:32] ---
    If it comes down to this, I will eat you, too!
[19:39] ---
    He really is a black hole!
[19:43] ---
    Eat, eat, eat everything!
[19:46] ---
    It's a out-of-season gust of wind!
    This concludes our--
[19:57] ---
    Oh no!
[20:00] ---
    Me, too?!
[20:07] ---
    Nobody can stop me
    now that my pyloric canal is open!
[20:12] ---
    We have to do something...
[20:14] ---
    Isn't there anything...
[20:16] ---
    Hmm?
[20:17] ---
    This is it!
[20:18] ---
    Mayo!
[20:19] ---
    When I give the signal, jump towards Kurota!
[20:21] ---
    What nonsense are you talking about?!
[20:23] ---
    It's okay! Trust me!
[20:29] ---
    Wh-What the...?
[20:31] ---
    Now!
[20:33] ---
    Got it!
[20:36] ---
    Impossible!
[20:40] ---
    Hey, what was that about?
[20:42] ---
    Hey, look!
[20:44] ---
    Ramen wearing underwear!
[20:51] ---
    What a date, huh?
[20:53] ---
    I'm sorry... I guess that was terrible practice.
[20:57] ---
    Well, that wasn't like a regular date.
[21:01] ---
    But if it's for you and me,
    this isn't too bad, right?
[21:04] ---
    Huh?
[21:06] ---
    Come on, nobody else
    can go on a date like this...
[21:09] ---
    Enjoying and saving Akiba at the same time!
[21:12] ---
    Um... I guess?
[21:15] ---
    Huh? Hungry already?!
[21:18] ---
    I got relaxed and my stomach did, too.
[21:20] ---
    A-And they say, there's always
    room for dessert, right?
[21:24] ---
    Why don't we go to a convenience
    store for some ice cream or...?
[21:28] ---
    Hey, there's a sweets store
    that I've been curious about.
[21:31] ---
    It's kind of hard for a guy to go in alone.
[21:34] ---
    You want me to go with you? Are you sure?
[21:36] ---
    Yeah. Okay, let's go. I wanna eat mamekan.
[23:26] ---
    Big Bro, come with me!
[23:27] ---
    I have to go get the
    limited edition event ticket!
[23:29] ---
    Event ticket, huh? Those are such
    nice ways to save space.
[23:31] ---
    Before, limited edition meant
    figurines and storage boxes...
[23:33] ---
    Live shows are the way to go!
    Live shows and festivals!
[23:35] ---
    Akiba's Trip the Animation! Next episode,
[23:36] ---
    "TRIP 11 - The Midsummer
    Akiba Festival Begins!"
[23:37] ---
    "The Midsummer Akiba Festival Begins!"
[23:39] ---
    Say no to bad ticket resellers!
[23:42] ---
    
[23:42] ---