E3 - Sabbath Night Fever

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:40] Girl
    Stay away!
[01:42] Girl
    No!
[02:03] Girl
    No!
[02:28] Mai
    That was incredibly entertaining.
[02:31] Mitsugu
    Really?
[02:32] Poster
    Goke,
    Body
    Snatcher
    from
    Hell
[02:33] Mitsugu
    I thought this might be to your liking.
[02:36] Mai
    Yes. I was very impressed.
[02:39] Mai
    I admire someone who can suck a human's
    blood without internal conflict or hesitation.
[02:45] Mai
    He's a model vampire.
[02:47] Mitsugu
    I guess so.
[02:49] Maki
    What's this?
[02:50] Mitsugu
    Crap. An annoying one found us.
[02:53] Maki
    What are you doing watching a movie?
[02:55] Mitsugu
    Well, well, well. If it isn't
    Cinema Club Captain Maki Watabe.
[03:01] Maki
    Such expository dialogue simply won't do.
[03:05] Maki
    The scriptwriter really
    cheaped out this time.
[03:14] Maki
    Who's this girl? Who is she to you?
[03:17] Mitsugu
    Hey, wait.
[03:19] Maki
    Very nice.
[03:20] Maki
    You're used to being in front of a camera.
[03:22] Maki
    By the way, this is 4K.
[03:24] Mitsugu
    Skip the exposition!
[03:26] Maki
    Is she your friend?
[03:28] Mitsugu
    Well, actually...
[03:30] Maki
    What's a pretty girl like her doing
    watching a movie with someone like you?
[03:34] Mitsugu
    Someone like me? What does that mean?
[03:36] Maki
    I don't know who you are
    or where you're from,
[03:39] Maki
    but hanging out with this
    fujoshi is a waste of time.
[03:42] Maki
    A worthless, trashy,
[03:44] Maki
    and mediocre triple-feature of
    rubbish that lasts all night long.
[03:47] Maki
    I wouldn't do it if I were you.
[03:49] Mai
    Rubbish?
[03:51] Maki
    If not rubbish, then trash. Water flea.
[03:55] Maki
    An arthropod of subphylum crustacea,
    class branchiopoda, order cladocera.
[03:59] Mitsugu
    I'm a girl belonging to phylum chordata,
[04:02] Mitsugu
    class mammalia, order primates,
    family hominidae!
[04:07] Maki
    But you're a blood donating
    enthusiast and a pervert.
[04:09] Mitsugu
    You're one to talk!
[04:10] Maki
    So, who is she?
[04:12] Mitsugu
    She's a distant relative.
[04:14] Maki
    A relative?
[04:15] Mitsugu
    Yes, a very, very distant relative.
[04:18] Maki
    She looks nothing like you.
[04:19] Mitsugu
    She's my paternal cousin's brother-in-law's
    second wife's child from a previous relationship.
[04:24] Maki
    I suppose I can go along with that.
[04:26] Mitsugu
    Crap. If Mai's true identity is discovered,
[04:29] Mitsugu
    it could interfere with our
    blood donating activities.
[04:31] Maki
    You're really related?
[04:33] Mai
    I'm not sure exactly what's going on,
    but we're connected by blood.
[04:38] Mai
    Anyway, I'm so hungry.
[04:41] Mitsugu
    I need to get her home
    quickly and feed her blood.
[04:43] Maki
    Then why don't the three of us go out
    for a luxurious dinner together?
[04:46] Mitsugu
    What?
[04:47] Maki
    I know a nice place. I always stop there
    on the way back from the theater.
SIGN    Gyoza General
[04:51] Mitsugu
    What? But, uh—
[04:52] Mai
    I'm hungry...
[04:54] Maki
    Then, it's decided. Let's go!
[04:56] Mitsugu
    No, wait. We—
[04:57] Mitsugu
    Wait, Maki!
[04:58] Maki
    Come on, follow me.
SIGN    Handley Page Victor (B.1/B.2)
    A strategic bomber used by the Royal Air Force (RAF) during the Cold War.
    Developed by Handley Page Limited in accordance with Ministry of Aviation specification B36/46 under the name HP.80.
    The crescent wings designed to reduce resistance during high-speed flight and T-shaped tail with dihedral angle give it a distinctive appearance.
    Prototype WB771's first flight took place on December 24th, 1952.
    Model entered service in April 1958.
    
    
    By 1961, 50 of the initial mass production type Victor B.1, including 24 of the improved model (B.1A), had been produced.
     Equipped with four Armstrong Siddeley Sapphire A.S.Sa turbojet engines.
     Armed with Blue Danube and Yellow Sun nuclear weapons.
     Could also carry American Mark5 nuclear weapons.
    
    
    On July 1st, 1956, aifcraft Serial XA917 broke the sound barrier during descent.
     At the time, it was the largest aircraft to have broken the speed of sound.
    
    
    By 1963, 34 of the improved performance model Victor B.2 had been produced.
     Equipped with four Rolls-Royce Conway Rco.11 turbojet engines.
     21 craft were upgraded to B.2R model to carry Blue Steel missiles.
    
    
    Retired from bombing missions in 1968.
     Replaced the Valiant as an aerial refueling aircraft.
     Provided support for the Avro Vulcan during the 1982 Falklands War.
     Removed from service in 1993.
[05:33] Right
    6 Gyoza
[05:33] Middle
    6 Garlic Gyoza
[05:33] Left
    Garlic Fried Rice
[05:34] Maki
    Three orders of garlic
    gyoza with extra garlic.
[05:37] Man
    Three orders of garlic
    gyoza with extra garlic.
[05:40] Maki
    Could we also get three
    orders of garlic yakisoba
[05:43] Maki
    and three extra large orders
    of garlic fried rice?
[05:45] Man
    Three orders of garlic yakisoba and three
    extra large orders of garlic fried rice.
[05:50] Man
    Got it.
[05:51] Maki
    This place makes great gyoza, um...
[05:56] Mai
    I'm Mai.
[05:58] Maki
    Mai-chan, do you like garlic?
[06:01] Mitsugu
    Crap. A vampire needs garlic like
    a cat needs currency—no, wait.
[06:04] Right
    10K Ryo
SIGN    Self-censored
[06:06] Mitsugu
    Like a giant needs an iron club—no, wait.
[06:08] Maki
    What about giants?
[06:10] Mitsugu
    What? What about giants?
[06:12] Maki
    You know, sometimes everyone around
    you can hear what you're thinking.
[06:15] Mitsugu
    Oh, uh... I sure hope that giant guy
    brings us our gyoza soon.
[06:20] Mai
    So hungry...
[06:23] Mitsugu
    Mai, are you okay?
[06:25] Maki
    It might be because of that movie.
[06:27] Mitsugu
    Huh?
[06:28] Maki
    That movie would make anyone feel anemic.
[06:31] Maki
    Personally, I wish it had been bloodier.
[06:34] Mitsugu
    I-I guess so.
[06:36] Mitsugu
    Anyway, must be nice to be a vampire.
[06:38] Mitsugu
    They're handsome, popular, and immortal.
[06:42] Maki
    That's what you call the superficial
    knowledge of an amateur.
[06:46] Mitsugu
    This arrogant bitch.
[06:48] Maki
    Who are you calling a bitch?
[06:49] Mitsugu
    I sure could go for a
    bitchin' sweet dessert.
[06:52] Maki
    In other words, your approach
    to viewing movies is shallow.
[06:55] Mitsugu
    Then why doesn't the cinema club captain share
    her thoughts with us since she's such an expert?
[07:00] Man
    Thanks for waiting.
[07:02] Man
    Three servings of garlic
    gyoza with extra garlic.
[07:05] Maki
    Vampires are only immortal
    in movies and novels.
[07:11] Maki
    But it's possible that
    vampires really do exist.
[07:15] Mitsugu
    Crap.
[07:16] Maki
    What about crap?
[07:17] Mitsugu
    Stop reacting to everything I think.
[07:19] Maki
    What real vampires have in common with
    fictional vampires is their need to suck blood.
[07:24] Maki
    Their sensitivity to UV light.
[07:26] Maki
    The ability to modify their
    physical appearance.
[07:30] Mitsugu
    Really? Then what about garlic?
[07:33] Maki
    You mean how vampires can't stand garlic?
[07:35] Maki
    That's fictional, as well.
[07:37] Maki
    By the way, their aversion to
    crosses is nonsense, as well.
[07:41] Maki
    So is their ability to transform
    into bats or wolves.
[07:45] Maki
    Real vampires are astoundingly long-lived,
[07:48] Maki
    but they age peacefully,
    and nobody can escape death.
[07:53] Mai
    Exactly.
[07:55] Maki
    What?
[07:56] Mai
    My stepmother Rubeus has deep
    laugh lines etched into her face.
[08:01] Mai
    Serves you right, bitch.
[08:04] Mitsugu
    Huh? Mai, what's gotten into you?
[08:08] Mai
    Gyoza rule.
[08:10] Maki
    You ate all the gyoza?
[08:12] Maki
    At least put sauce on them!
[08:14] Mai
    You got a problem with me, huh?
[08:17] Maki
    Uh, oh. What's gotten into her?
[08:19] Mai
    Is the garlic having this effect on her?
[08:23] Man
    Miss, please take your fight outside.
[08:25] Mai
    Shut up! Stay out of this, phimosis dick!
[08:28] Customer A
    The chef's got phimosis?
[08:35] Mai
    Where's our garlic yakisoba?
[08:40] Mai
    Where's our fried rice?
[08:43] Mitsugu
    Mai, calm down.
[08:49] Maki
    Good. Very good.
[08:51] Maki
    Look this way, my powerful lady.
[08:54] Maki
    Say butter.
SIGN    Girl consumes large quantities of
    gyoza and goes on a rampage!
SIGN    Flying girl!?
SIGN    Mass Hallucination!? Drugs in the Gyoza?
[09:25] Chihiro
    I doubt the police will take a
    story about a high school girl
[09:30] Chihiro
    demolishing a gyoza
    restaurant seriously.
[09:34] Chihiro
    I'm sure it'll be fine.
[09:35] Mitsugu
    You're probably right.
[09:37] Chihiro
    But she's not human.
[09:39] Chihiro
    Don't feed her indiscriminately
    for your own entertainment.
[09:42] Mitsugu
    It's not like I fed her garlic for fun.
[09:46] Mitsugu
    I wasn't expecting garlic to
    produce that side effect.
[09:48] Chihiro
    Instead of being a weakness, it's like
    giving silver vine to cats or spinach to Popeye.
[09:52] Mitsugu
    Could Mai's reaction be idiosyncratic?
[09:56] Chihiro
    Unless we learn that vampire's traits,
    things could get even worse.
[10:01] Chihiro
    To prevent further damage,
    we should investigate.
SIGN    Test Number 1 / Mirrors
[10:16] Chihiro
    Her reflection doesn't appear in mirrors.
SIGN    Test Number 2 / Photographs
[10:23] Chihiro
    Say butter.
[10:27] Chihiro
    Phones can't capture photos of her, either.
[10:30] Chihiro
    Wait, what? Didn't I just see
    her photo in the newspaper?
SIGN    Test Number 3 / Crosses
[10:39] Mai
    How cute. May I keep this?
[10:43] Chihiro
    She's quite unconcerned by crosses, too.
SIGN    Test Number 4 / Running Water
[10:52] Chihiro
    She can easily leap over running water.
[10:56] Mitsugu
    Vampires aren't supposed to be
    able to cross running water.
[11:01] Chihiro
    It seems that vampire is different
    from the vampires I'm familiar with.
[11:07] Mitsugu
    She's different from the ones I know, too.
[11:10] Chihiro
    The vampires you know?
[11:13] Chihiro
    For reference, tell me what you know.
[11:15] Mitsugu
    Well... they're tall, pale,
    and wear black capes with red lining.
[11:22] Mitsugu
    They're nobles, live in castles,
    and are sometimes gay.
[11:26] Mitsugu
    They sleep in coffins during the day,
[11:28] Mitsugu
    and at night they bite the
    necks of beautiful virgins
[11:31] Mitsugu
    or plain old beautiful women
    and suck their blood.
[11:34] Mitsugu
    Their victims come back to life as vampires.
[11:39] Mitsugu
    When their hearts are pierced by stakes,
    they scream and turn into ash.
[11:42] Mitsugu
    Garlic, crosses, and the
    sun are their weaknesses.
[11:46] Mitsugu
    They sometimes transform into bats or wolves,
[11:48] Mitsugu
    and unless they're killed,
    they never grow old or die.
[11:51] Chihiro
    What did you think of them?
[11:53] Mitsugu
    Commonplace. Cliché.
[11:56] Chihiro
    That's the product of a lowbrow
    filmmaker's sexual fantasies.
[12:01] Chihiro
    Like the author Bram Stoker's novel they
    based it off of, it's ridiculous nonsense.
[12:07] Chihiro
    But what about the vampire folklore
    that author based his novel on?
SIGN    Vampire Folklore
[12:12] Chihiro
    They're muscular with reddish
    but dark and sinister faces.
[12:16] Chihiro
    Most of them are peasants.
[12:18] Chihiro
    They rise from their graves and return home,
    where they bite their families or eat their food.
[12:24] Chihiro
    Additionally, they often transform
    into nocturnal creatures.
[12:30] Chihiro
    In other words,
[12:32] Chihiro
    they were inspired by scavengers
    who ate and lurked around fetid corpses.
[12:37] Chihiro
    A regional representation meant to rationalize
    the omnipresent phenomenon of death.
[12:44] Chihiro
    Therefore...
[12:45] Chihiro
    Listen to what I'm saying!
SIGN    SLAP SLAP SLAP
[12:48] Mitsugu
    You still haven't quit your corporal
    punishment and power harassment!
[12:52] Chihiro
    I don't give a shit about
    your power harassment!
[12:54] Chihiro
    Whether it's a sexual fantasy produced
    by the entertainment industry
[12:57] Chihiro
    or a legend fabricated by a primitive people
[13:00] Chihiro
    with access to limited information trying
    to rationalize their world view,
[13:03] Chihiro
    they're still fictional. They don't exist.
[13:07] Chihiro
    And yet, a creature we could
    call a vampire does exist.
[13:14] Chihiro
    To be precise, perhaps we should
    call her a blood-sucking human.
[13:18] Mitsugu
    She's a vampire.
[13:20] Chihiro
    What she has in common with
    those fictional creatures is...
[13:23] Chihiro
    First, she sucks blood.
[13:26] Chihiro
    Second, she's sensitive to UV light.
[13:30] Chihiro
    Third, she can modify parts
    of her physical appearance.
[13:35] Mitsugu
    Ow.
[13:37] Chihiro
    Regarding their immortality,
    we'll have to take that girl's word for it,
[13:41] Chihiro
    but it sounds like while they are exceptionally
    long-lived, they're not immortal.
[13:46] Mitsugu
    It's not like we can drive
    a stake through her heart.
[13:50] Chihiro
    Come to think of it, we haven't
    conducted the UV light test yet.
[13:55] Sign
    Minamiguchi Fureai Dori Street
[13:56] Mitsugu
    Mai, how are you feeling? Any discomfort?
[13:59] Sign
    Minamiguchi Fureai Dori Street
[13:59] Mai
    My clan is quite resistant to UV light.
[14:04] Mai
    Though my stepmother Rubeus would
    instantly burn to a crisp.
[14:04] Sign
    Minamiguchi Fureai Dori Street
[14:09] Mai
    I'm sure the worse a vampire's personality
    is, the more sensitive they are to UV light.
[14:14] Mitsugu
    Which means as long as she takes
    appropriate precautions against UV light...
[14:20] Mai
    Wait. Hey, wait for me.
[14:25] Mitsugu
    Hurry up.
[14:34] Mitsugu
    Well, it's not like I'm a man.
SIGN    Mitsugu
[14:38] Kaoru
    What's this?
[14:40] Mitsugu
    It's Kaoru this time?
[14:42] Kaoru
    I wasn't expecting to find you
    cosplaying as an invisible woman.
[14:46] Kaoru
    Not bad.
[14:48] Kaoru
    Well? Why don't we cosplay together?
[14:51] Mai
    Cosplay?
[14:53] Mitsugu
    Never thought I'd see you here,
[14:55] Mitsugu
    Cosplay Club Captain and fellow
    Blood Donation Club member Kaoru.
[14:59] Kaoru
    Why are you speaking in such
    obviously expository dialogue?
[15:02] Mitsugu
    You've got the wrong idea,
    Kaoru. This girl is—
[15:05] Kaoru
    You wish to participate, as well?
[15:08] Kaoru
    Very well. I shall allow you to join us.
[15:11] Mitsugu
    It's not like that.
[15:14] Sign
    Cosplay Club
[15:20] Kaoru
    You're quite cute, aren't you?
[15:23] Mitsugu
    She's right.
[15:25] Mitsugu
    It may be standard,
    but it's extremely convincing.
[15:29] Kaoru
    Let's try the next outfit.
[15:44] Mitsugu
    What a high-value development.
[15:46] Kaoru
    What's high-value?
[15:48] Mitusgu
    Oh, uh...
[15:50] Mitsugu
    You sure do have a lot of
    high-value outfits lying around.
[15:53] Kaoru
    You know, sometimes everyone around
    you can hear what you're thinking.
[15:56] Mitsugu
    Don't repeat the same story development!
[15:58] Kaoru
    Instead of getting mad at me,
    why don't you try this on?
[16:09] Kaoru
    So niche.
[16:12] Kaoru
    I bet that's what you're into.
[16:14] Mitsugu
    You couldn't be more wrong.
[16:16] Mitsugu
    I'm not a tokusatsu otaku.
[16:18] Kaoru
    What? You'd prefer a moon base catsuit?
[16:21] Mitsugu
    I didn't say that!
[16:23] Kaoru
    Here.
[16:24] Mitsugu
    What's this?
[16:25] Kaoru
    To tell you the truth, tonight we're
    holding our cosplay Halloween party.
SIGN    Halloween Party
[16:29] Mitsugu
    A cosplay party?
[16:31] Kaoru
    That's right. It's hosted by the
    Cosplay Club and starts at 6 PM tonight.
[16:35] Kaoru
    Since she'll be participating as a surprise
    guest, you should come with her.
[16:35] Top
    Halloween Party
[16:35] Right
    Where: Akiba Cultures Zone
    When: Starting 18:00 tonight
[16:40] Mitsugu
    A what? Who decided
    she'd be your surprise guest?
[16:45] Kaoru
    I made the decision just now.
[16:48] Mitsugu
    I don't think that's a good idea.
[16:51] Kaoru
    I'll draw another 200 for you today.
[16:53] Mitsugu
    Thank you.
[16:54] Mitsugu
    No, wait. That has nothing to do with—
[16:56] Kaoru
    We'll be waiting with a
    super cute outfit for her.
[17:00] Kaoru
    Here's your party ticket quota.
[17:01] Kaoru
    They're 2000 yen per person.
[17:03] Kaoru
    You're welcome to pay for them yourself.
[17:04] Kaoru
    Anyway, thanks for handling those.
[17:06] Mitsugu
    No, wait—
[17:08] Kaoru
    Now let's settle the
    Cosplay Club's accounts for the year!
[17:12] All
    Yeah!
[17:12] Mitsugu
    She really is a type B. She's not
    listening to anything I'm saying.
[17:14] Kaoru
    Yeah!
[17:15] All
    Yeah!
[17:40] Sign
    Akiba Cultures Zone
[17:47] Mitsugu
    Wh-What is this?
[17:49] Kaoru
    Marvelous. You look amazing.
[17:52] Kaoru
    It matches your feel perfectly.
[17:56] Mitsugu
    Mai, you don't have to do
    this if you don't want to.
[17:59] Mai
    I adore this outfit.
[18:01] Mai
    I wish my stepmother could see me in this.
[18:04] Kaoru
    I see, I see.
[18:06] Kaoru
    Then let's show you off to your stepmother
    or stepfather or step-whoever else.
[18:22] Nami
    You'll be paying for this choreography.
[18:25] Kaoru
    Aye, sir.
[18:29] Maki
    I suppose filming stupid men in their
    natural state is a filmmaker's job, too.
[18:34] Maki
    Cameras two and three,
    make sure you don't miss this.
[18:37] Maki
    Huh?
[18:45] Maki
    Doctor Chihiro, what are you doing here?
[18:49] Chihiro
    I'm here for this.
[18:51] Chihiro
    I'm going to draw blood from these
    high blood pressure idiots.
[18:59] Mitsugu
    Crap. This atmosphere doesn't look good.
[19:01] Kaoru
    It's time for today's special guest.
[19:21] Katsuno
    Hey, brats!
[19:23] Katsuno
    I won't let anyone lay
    a finger on my goddess!
[19:23] Shirt
    Knuckle
[19:27] Katsuno
    Eat Hurricane Kick!
[19:31] Jinko
    Don't think you'll get away with this!
[19:35] Kanbaru
    Sorry, Jinko.
[19:37] Okada
    Your ittokan tin can is fearsome, but our
    senior's fists are even more destructive.
[19:41] Hotta
    Behave yourself.
[19:44] Kanbara
    That said, we'd be wasting
    our time if we stayed here.
[19:49] Okada
    And all three of us against just
    one of you would be rather dull.
[19:52] Hotta
    Only one of us needs to watch you.
[19:54] All
    Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Shoot.
[19:58] All
    Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
[20:01] Jinko
    You idiots! Untie me this instant!
[20:12] Mitsugu
    Mai, we're leaving.
[20:14] Mai
    What? Already?
[20:16] Kaoru
    I can't let you do that.
[20:18] Kaoru
    The event is just getting started.
[20:20] Mitsugu
    Kaoru, don't you have any limits?
[20:23] Kaoru
    Limit is a word not found in my dictionary.
[20:26] Mitsugu
    It's dangerous for us to stay any longer.
[20:29] Katsuno
    You sex-crazed idiots! Are you ready to die?
[20:33] Katsuno
    Take this! And this!
[20:35] Kanbaru
    This isn't good. He's outnumbered.
[20:38] Okada
    The so-called Rising and Falling
    Battleship is sinking.
[20:41] Katsuno
    Okada, Kanbaru! Don't just watch, help me!
[20:45] Both
    Osu!
[20:46] Katsuno
    Don't speak the word "osu" in my presence!
[20:59] Mai
    Fools, this is farewell.
[21:10] Mitsugu
    Now they've done it.
[21:13] Student
    These effects are incredible. Are they CG?
[21:16] Student
    They really put a lot of money
    and effort into this one.
[21:18] Student
    Where did they find the budget for this?
[21:21] Kanbaru
    Sir, are you alive?
[21:23] Katsuno
    My life is all I've got left.
[21:26] Okada
    He's gone.
[21:28] Jinko
    He's not dead, you idiot!
[21:30] Kabaru
    Jinko, what are you doing here?
[21:32] Jinko
    Don't ask questions!
[21:34] Hotta
    Jinko, wait...
[21:36] Jinko
    Shut up!
[21:37] Jinko
    I want to speak to whoever's
    responsible for this!
[21:41] Maki
    All right. We got some good images.
[21:43] Club A
    But isn't this...
SIGN    Mass Hallucination at Cosplay Party!?
SIGN    Roof Collapses, Many Injured
SIGN    Episode 4 "Salamander's Night"
[23:45] Chihiro
    Come on. It's for scientific progress.
[23:49] Chihiro
    Give me your blood!
[23:55] Mai
    Delicious.