E1 - Vampire Girl, Bloody Excited

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Seijumonji High School
SIGN    Enter
    Here
SIGN    Enter
    Here
SIGN    The weight of love is 400 milliliters
[02:37] Mitsugu
    "The weight of love is 400 milliliters."
[02:41] Mitsugu
    "Yes, love can."
SIGN    YES LOVE CAN
[02:44] Mitsugu
    Imagine the blood flowing through my body
    is being injected into someone else's.
[02:50] Mitsugu
    Blood is love.
[02:51] Nurse A
    You're back again?
[02:54] Nurse B
    No matter how often you
    come, you still can't.
[02:58] Mitsugu
    No matter what?
[03:00] Nurse A
    No means no.
[03:02] Nurse A
    We've explained it to you countless times.
[03:04] Mitsugu
    Aw, come on. You don't have
    to sound like Otaka-san.
[03:07] Nurse A
    Otaka-san? Who's that?
[03:10] Mitsugu
    Tenth chairwoman of the former
    Japan Socialist Party
[03:12] Mitsugu
    and second leader of the
    Social Democratic Party.
[03:14] Mitsugu
    The first woman to serve as
    the Lower House Speaker.
[03:17] Mitsugu
    She's dead now, though.
[03:18] Nurse B
    For a high school girl,
    you know some strange facts.
[03:21] Mitsugu
    You can just draw it.
[03:23] Nurse B
    I'll give you this if you'll just leave.
[03:26] Sign
    Delicious
    Milk
[03:26] Nurse A
    We don't have time to waste on
    a pervert obsessed with blood.
[03:30] Nurse B
    Next person, please.
[03:33] Girl
    Blood. Blood...
[03:37] Nurse B
    Yes, yes. I'll draw it right now.
[03:39] Nurse B
    Have a seat over here.
[03:43] Mitsugu
    An old school beauty in this
    day and age? How unusual.
[03:46] Mitsugu
    Seems foreign, too.
[03:47] Nurse B
    Foreign? What do you mean by that?
[03:49] Mitsugu
    What's such a frail girl doing giving blood?
[03:56] Nurse B
    You get out of here.
[03:58] Nurse B
    I'm drawing some blood for test—
[03:59] Mitsugu
    Huh?
SIGN    Blood Donating Enthusiast
    Mitsugu Bamba
[04:32] Mitsugu
    I snatched her up in the heat of the moment.
[04:35] Mitsugu
    Should I take her to the hospital?
[04:38] Mitsugu
    She sure is a pretty girl.
[04:42] Mai
    Blood. I want blood.
[04:45] Mitsugu
    You're too weak to give blood.
[04:50] Mai
    Give blood? What does that mean?
[04:54] Mitsugu
    Huh? What does...?
[04:56] Mitsugu
    You didn't come here to give blood?
[04:58] Mai
    What are you talking about?
[05:00] Mai
    Why would I give blood?
[05:01] Mai
    I want to drink blood!
[05:15] Mitsugu
    C-Could it be?
[05:25] Mitsugu
    This is how Mai the vampire and I met.
[05:40] Mitsugu
    Want to try this?
[05:42] Mitsugu
    I've been holding onto it since I drew it
    two weeks ago, so it's coagulated a little.
[05:46] Mai
    Blood?
[05:54] Mitsugu
    She makes it look so good.
[05:56] Mai
    This isn't enough!
[05:58] Mai
    More. More blood.
[06:01] Mitsugu
    I don't have anymore.
[06:03] Mai
    No more?
[06:06] Mai
    Then I bid this world farewell.
[06:10] Mai
    Now that I think about it,
    I lived a short life.
[06:12] Mitsugu
    A short life?
[06:14] Mitsugu
    I thought vampires were immortal.
[06:19] Mai
    Thank you for the meal.
[06:21] Mai
    It was delicious.
[06:25] Mitsugu
    Hold on!
[06:27] Mitsugu
    Come on, bite me.
[06:29] Mitsugu
    Feel free to ignore safe limits and
    drink 400, or even 900 milliliters.
[06:32] Mai
    No. I mustn't do that.
[06:35] Mitsugu
    No? Aren't you a bloodsucking fiend?
[06:39] Mai
    I'm no fiend, but I do
    survive by drinking blood.
[06:42] Mitsugu
    Then go ahead and bite me.
[06:44] Mai
    I can't.
[06:45] Mitsugu
    You can't? Why not?
[06:47] Mai
    If I bite you, you'll not
    only become a vampire,
[06:51] Mai
    but also my servant.
[06:55] Mitsugu
    Servant?
[06:57] Mai
    I lack the dependability and disposition
    to make a human my servant.
[07:03] Mitsugu
    Is dependability really the right word?
[07:05] Mai
    Well, I should go.
[07:06] Mitsugu
    What? You're leaving already?
[07:09] Mitsugu
    Where's your home?
[07:24] Mitsugu
    Transylvania?
[07:26] Mai
    Yes. I am Mai Vlad Transylvania.
[07:30] Mai
    Embarrassingly, I am descended from
    the prestigious Transylvania clan.
[07:35] Mitsugu
    Mai Vlad Transylvania?
[07:38] Mitsugu
    You're a foreigner, after all.
[07:39] Mitsugu
    So, what's the descendant of that
    prestigious clan doing in Japan?
[07:43] Mai
    I don't get along with
    my father's 48th wife.
[07:51] (Flashback) Mai
    You bitch! A mother is obligated
    to feed her daughter!
[07:55] (Flashback) Stepmom
    Shut up, girl! I wouldn't feed
    you a single drop of blood.
[08:00] (Flashback) Stepmom
    In this clan, we hunt our own
    prey once we turn 10 years old.
[08:04] (Flashback) Mai
    Stupid slut!
[08:06] (Flashback) Stepmom
    Ugly goody two-shoes!
[08:07] Mai
    I was supposed to stay with relatives
    residing in Eastern Europe.
[08:14] Mai
    But by some mistake, the container
    I hid inside arrived in Tokyo.
[08:21] Mai
    I've been living in a small
    paper house ever since.
[08:26] Mai
    Since getting into that container, I haven't
    had a single drop of blood, so I...
[08:34] (Flashback) Mai
    I can't.
[08:36] (Flashback) Mai
    I can't do it!
[08:40] Mitsugu
    You can't? But you're a vampire.
[08:44] Mitsugu
    You can't survive without blood.
[08:46] Mitsugu
    Just bite someone.
[08:47] Mai
    But crickets, frogs, and water striders
    are happy because they're alive.
[08:53] Mai
    I couldn't possibly endanger a human life.
[08:58] Mitsugu
    Drink a little at a time.
[09:00] Mitsugu
    You know, neither kill nor let them live.
[09:03] Mai
    I mustn't.
[09:05] Mai
    I'd be ruining another person's life.
[09:08] Mai
    And if the person I bit
    turned out to be evil,
[09:11] Mai
    I'd be creating another wicked vampire.
[09:15] Mai
    You're really okay with me biting you?
[09:19] Mitsugu
    What?
[09:20] Mai
    You don't mind having to bite someone
[09:23] Mai
    every night and suck their blood to survive?
[09:28] Mitsugu
    I'd rather not do that.
[09:31] Mai
    How honest.
[09:34] Mai
    I have no money.
[09:37] Mai
    Unable to bear my hunger any longer,
    while wandering around town,
[09:41] Mai
    I smelled the delicious scent of
    blood coming from that vehicle.
[09:45] Mitsugu
    What an unbelievably timid vampire.
[09:47] Mitsugu
    And she's totally homeless.
[09:49] Mai
    But I should be able to
    survive for some time now.
[09:54] Mai
    Thank you.
[09:58] Mitsugu
    So cute. She's too cute.
[10:00] Mitsugu
    All right, I've decided.
[10:02] Mitsugu
    I'll protect this girl.
[10:04] Mitsugu
    Pops, I'll do it.
[10:06] Mitsugu
    Hey, why don't you take a shower?
[10:09] Mai
    A shower?
[10:11] Mitsugu
    I bet you haven't bathed in days.
[10:14] Mai
    Are you sure?
SIGN    Self-censored
[10:21] Mitsugu
    She's so bold.
[10:35] Mitsugu
    A beautiful girl wearing only a men's shirt.
[10:39] Mitsugu
    So sexy.
[10:40] Mai
    I'll be able to rest well tonight.
[10:44] Mai
    I got to drink delicious blood, too.
[10:46] Mai
    I can't thank you enough.
[10:50] Mitsugu
    Actually, I was thinking
    instead of just tonight,
[10:55] Mitsugu
    you could stay here forever.
[10:59] Mai
    What? Forever?
[11:01] Mitsugu
    My dad's a scholar. He's currently
    on a business trip overseas.
[11:06] Mitsugu
    We've got a spare room.
[11:08] Mitsugu
    I thought you could stay
    as long as you'd like.
[11:13] Mitsugu
    You don't have anywhere else to go, right?
[11:18] Mai
    So kind.
[11:20] Mitsugu
    To be perfectly honest...
[11:22] Mitsugu
    Well, it's not that big a revelation.
[11:24] Mitsugu
    Lucky for you, I'm a blood-obsessed
    blood donating enthusiast.
[11:28] Mitsugu
    I bet I'll be able to help you.
[11:31] Mai
    Such powerful words.
[11:33] Mai
    I can trust you.
[11:35] Mai
    But I may not be able to
    repay you in any way.
[11:39] Mitsugu
    "Wow!"
[11:41] Mitsugu
    I bet that's how a man
    would react to that pose.
[11:45] Mitsugu
    It's rather flirtatious,
    but it's certainly convincing.
[11:49] Mai
    Good night.
[11:51] Mitsugu
    What? You don't need to sleep in the closet.
[11:55] Mai
    I feel most at ease in cramped, dark spaces.
[11:59] Mai
    After all, I'm a vampire.
[12:02] Mitsugu
    Then, I'll be sleeping here.
[12:05] Mitsugu
    If you need anything...
[12:14] Mitsugu
    I thought vampires were nocturnal.
[12:17] Mitsugu
    She must be exhausted.
[12:40] Mitsugu
    Am I headed in a crazy direction?
[12:47] Mitsugu
    But starting tonight, Mai and I
    are sleeping under the same roof.
[12:53] Mitsugu
    I'm living a bloody and dangerous
    life with a young vampire girl.
[12:58] Mitsugu
    It's like some kind of anime!
[13:01] Mitsugu
    I'm glad I'm a blood donating
    enthusiast with a blood fetish.
[13:07] Mitsugu
    I'm so glad!
[13:11] Announce
    It is now time to leave school.
[13:14] Mitsugu
    Doctor, I'm back for more.
[13:14] Announce
    Students who have no business at school
    are to leave school grounds immediately.
[13:16] Chihiro
    You again?
[13:19] Announce
    Students who do have business at school
    are to leave immediately, as well.
SIGN    Seijuro High School Doctor
    Chihiro Chimatsuri
[13:20] Chihiro
    I'm only drawing your blood once a month.
[13:24] Chihiro
    It's only been two weeks since last time.
[13:24] Announce
    Please just go home.
[13:28] Chihiro
    Besides, the blood I draw from
    you can't be given to anyone.
[13:33] Chihiro
    I've explained it to you numerous
    times, but since it's important,
[13:37] Chihiro
    I'll explain it to you again.
    Listen closely.
[13:37] Sign
    School Infirmary
[13:42] Chihiro
    What is a blood type?
[13:45] Chihiro
    A technical explanation would bore
    you, and our time is limited,
[13:50] Chihiro
    so you can look up the details on Wikipedia.
[13:53] Chihiro
    Broadly speaking, the ABO blood
    group system beloved by the Japanese
[13:58] Chihiro
    is used in order to avoid hemolysis
    during a blood transfusion.
[14:03] Chihiro
    In extremely rare cases, a person's blood
    type can belong to multiple groups.
[14:09] Chihiro
    This is known as chimerism.
[14:12] Chihiro
    Naturally, chimera blood types can't be used
    in transfusions and therefore not collected.
[14:19] Chihiro
    And your blood type is chimeric.
[14:30] Chihiro
    I'm talking about you!
SIGN    SLAP SLAP SLAP
[14:33] Mitsugu
    Corporal punishment. Power harassment.
[14:36] Chihiro
    How dare you nap when I'm considerately
    explaining your situation to you?!
[14:40] Mitsugu
    But you've told me so often,
    I'm sick of hearing it.
[14:44] Chihiro
    In any case, once a month.
[14:47] Chihiro
    Not more than that.
[14:49] Mitsugu
    I'll be fine. I'll eat plenty of spinach.
[14:52] Mitsugu
    I'll eat liver and prunes until I puke.
[14:55] Mitsugu
    Could you draw about a whole liter at once?
[14:58] Chihiro
    You idiot. That would kill you.
[14:59] Mitsugu
    I don't care. Please, doctor.
[15:04] Chihiro
    Is it a boy?
[15:05] Mitsugu
    Huh?
[15:05] Chihiro
    Looks like I'm right.
[15:07] Mitsugu
    No, it's not like that.
[15:10] Chihiro
    I'm the kind of man who
    wants to play Fallout 4
[15:14] Chihiro
    on the PlayStation and eat
    extra large beef bowls.
[15:18] Chihiro
    I'm an expensive man to keep around.
[15:21] Chihiro
    That's what you're up to, isn't it?
[15:23] Chihiro
    Selling blood is a crime.
[15:25] Mitsugu
    No. I'd never do anything so obscene.
[15:28] Mitsugu
    Besides, she—
[15:30] Chihiro
    She?
[15:32] Chihiro
    Fill me in on the details.
[15:35] Chihiro
    Depending on the circumstances, I might
    be willing to draw a liter or two.
[15:40] Mitsugu
    Well, actually...
[15:43] Chihiro
    I see. A wandering vampire girl.
[15:47] Mitsugu
    Not just a girl. A beautiful girl.
[15:49] Chihiro
    You're not making this up, are you?
[15:52] Mitsugu
    It's true. It's all true.
[15:55] Mitsugu
    To prove it...
[15:56] Mai
    Nice to meet you. I'm Mai.
[15:59] Chihiro
    When did she get here?
[16:01] Mitsugu
    She is a vampire.
[16:04] Chihiro
    I shall medically determine if this girl is
    a vampire or a human with a screw loose.
[16:10] Chihiro
    Her heart is beating, so she's not a corpse.
[16:14] Chihiro
    Her blood pressure is a bit low,
    but her levels are normal.
[16:18] Chihiro
    She doesn't have fangs,
    much less a single cavity.
[16:20] Chihiro
    She's in such perfect health,
    dentists hate her.
[16:22] Chihiro
    How is this a vampire?
[16:35] Chihiro
    Very well. I'll acknowledge that
    she isn't an ordinary human.
[16:40] Mai
    I'm hungry.
[16:41] Mitsugu
    Please help me.
[16:43] Mitsugu
    If we can't use mine,
    then lend me your blood—
[16:46] Chihiro
    I refuse.
[16:48] Mitsugu
    Doctor, don't you have a conscience?
[16:51] Chihiro
    No. Nor do I have any morals.
[16:54] Mitsugu
    There's a human dying over here!
[16:56] Chihiro
    She's not human.
[16:59] Mitsugu
    Mai is the first girl to receive my blood.
[17:06] Chihiro
    Then protect your first.
[17:09] Chihiro
    Anyway, I don't have any more time for you.
[17:14] Mitsugu
    Doctor, you said you only collect
    rare blood types, right?
[17:21] Chihiro
    Indeed.
[17:22] Chihiro
    Gathering and researching the world's
    rarest blood types is my life's work.
[17:30] Mitsugu
    We can discuss that at a later date.
[17:33] Mitsugu
    You'll draw my blood, won't you?
[17:48] Mai
    Delicious.
[17:49] Mai
    I want more. More.
[17:52] Mitsugu
    Sorry. Doctor Chihiro would
    only draw this much.
[17:56] Mitsugu
    But I'll have her draw more tomorrow.
[17:58] Mai
    Promise?
[18:00] Mitsugu
    I promise. I'd do anything for you, Mai.
[18:08] Mai
    Call me Mai.
[18:13] Mitsugu
    Mai.
[18:16] Mai
    Blood. I want blood.
[18:20] Mai
    I want more.
[18:22] Mai
    I want more blood!
[18:28] Announce
    Blood donating enthusiast Mitsugu Bambam-san,
    please report to the infirmary immediately.
SIGN    Scoff Guffaw Sneer
SIGN    Contempt
[18:38] Mitsugu
    Chihiro!
[18:40] Chihiro
    You're here.
[18:42] Mitsugu
    What was up with that announcement?
[18:44] Chihiro
    What about it?
[18:46] Mitsugu
    Not only did you expose my
    blood donating enthusiasm
[18:48] Mitsugu
    to the entire student body using
    the school broadcast system...
[18:51] Chihiro
    Everybody knows that. What else?
[18:55] Mitsugu
    My name isn't Mitsugu Bambam!
[18:57] Sign
    Mitsugu
    Bamba
[18:59] Mitsugu
    It's Mitsugu Bamba!
[18:59] Sign
    Mitsugu
    Bamba
[19:01] Chihiro
    What kind of fool gets upset
    over one wrong letter?
[19:06] Chihiro
    Do you have any idea how much suffering my
    ominous name has caused me since my youth?
SIGN    Chihiro Chimatsuri
[19:11] Mitsugu
    Chihiro Chimatsuri is your real name?
[19:14] Chihiro
    Why would a mere public health doctor
    like myself use a pseudonym?
[19:17] Mitsugu
    But I've kept my enthusiasm for
    giving blood a secret until now.
[19:26] Chihiro
    I told you,
SIGN    SLAP SLAP SLAP
[19:28] Chihiro
    everybody knows already!
[19:31] Mitsugu
    Corporal punishment. Power harassment.
[19:34] Chihiro
    Morals is a word not found in my dictionary.
[19:38] Chihiro
    I called you here to discuss
    yesterday's vampire girl.
[19:45] Mitsugu
    What about Mai?
[19:47] Chihiro
    Fostering that malnourished
    girl won't be easy.
[19:53] Chihiro
    No matter how hard you try,
    you'll just end up a desiccated husk.
[20:00] Mitsugu
    That's why I was hoping that as a
    blood-obsessed doctor, you'd give me a hand.
[20:05] Chihiro
    I don't mind helping you,
    but helping you too much will kill me,
[20:11] Chihiro
    and I'm certainly not interested
    in doing it for cheap.
[20:14] Mitsugu
    The logic of one who's arrogant,
    if nothing else—
SIGN    SLAP SLAP SLAP
[20:18] Chihiro
    I know exactly what you're thinking!
[20:22] Chihiro
    Anyway, I have a suggestion.
SIGN    Self-censored
SIGN    Artistically Necessary
[20:24] Chihiro
    Start a Blood Donation Club.
[20:27] Mitsugu
    A Blood Donation Club?
[20:29] Mitsugu
    You mean give blood as a club activity?
SIGN    Artistically
    Necessary
[20:31] Chihiro
    If you openly draw blood at school,
[20:33] Chihiro
    you'll be able to satisfy the
    demands of a vampire or two,
[20:37] Chihiro
    and I can examine the blood for
    any rare blood types to collect.
[20:45] Chihiro
    It's a true two-birds-with-one-stone
    double-the-fun win-win relationship.
[20:50] Top
    Maneuver
    Excessively Descriptive Platform
[20:52] Chihiro
    The sand on a beach may be finite,
[20:54] Chihiro
    but the number of blood donating
    enthusiasts is infinite.
[20:58] Chihiro
    You're not the only pervert who
    loves to give blood at this school.
[21:06] Mitsugu
    Students of Seijumonji High School!
[21:06] Sign
    Blood
    Donation
    Club
[21:09] Mitsugu
    Why not donate your young blood to society?
[21:15] Mitsugu
    The Blood Donation Club needs
    your love, courage, and blood!
[21:21] Mitsugu
    Join the Blood Donation Club and
    enjoy an adolescence of blood love!
[21:25] Chihiro
    You won't attract anyone by advertising
    yourself as a blood donation clinic.
[21:31] Mitsugu
    Should I do blood donation exercises?
[21:33] Chihiro
    You need to appeal directly
    to the students' desires.
[21:38] Chihiro
    Don't you care what happens
    to that vampire girl?
[21:41] Chihiro
    Can you afford to be picky?
[21:45] Mitsugu
    Our advisor is the infirmary's
    dynamite Doctor Chihiro Chimatsuri!
[21:50] Mitsugu
    Enjoy the doctor's hospitable care!
[21:53] Mitsugu
    The Blood Donation Club has Korean
    hotties and blood transfusion mixers!
[22:01] Mitsugu
    And that's how I became the blood collector
[22:06] Mitsugu
    who'd do anything for a slightly
    unusual girl named Mai.
SIGN    Episode 2 "Night Flight on Love"
[23:45] Chihiro
    This school is full of perverts who
    can't stay calm when they see blood.
[23:50] Mitsugu
    It's already quite late.
[23:52] Mitsugu
    Don't you think this is a bit much?
[23:54] Mai
    Let's have another great night!