E1 - An Appliance Became My Wife

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:26] senpai
    You still haven't left?
[00:27] Takuma
    Oh, not until I finish
    entering this data.
[00:31] senpai
    Okay. Well, I'm off.
[00:34] Takuma
    Have a good one.
[00:48] Takuma
    There.
[00:54] Takuma
    Look how late it is.
SIGN    Shutting down
SIGN    Which one?!
[01:08] Takuma
    S-Sorry.
[01:14] Takuma
    I've been living alone
    for three years.
SIGN    Asahi Supermarket
[01:25] Takuma
    Work keeps me busy every day.
SIGN    Asahi Supermarket
SIGN    Luminous Asahi
[01:43] Takuma
    I don't have time to do chores.
SIGN    Kosugi
[01:53] Takuma
    I'm home.
[01:59] Takuma
    So, I bought an appliance.
[02:06] Mina
    Welcome home, Takuma-sama.
[02:13] Takuma
    A housekeeping robot.
[02:18] Takuma
    H-Home again.
SIGN    #01 An Appliance Became My Wife
[03:57] Takuma
    But she's a secondhand,
    bargain housekeeping robot,
[04:01] Takuma
    whose functionality is limited
    to dishwashing and food prep.
[04:06] Takuma
    As long as I put food in the fridge,
[04:08] Takuma
    she'll prepare a recipe randomly chosen
    from her registry at preset times of day.
[04:15] Takuma
    But you know what?
[04:16] Takuma
    She may be a home appliance, but having
    someone making food for me is kinda nice.
[04:24] Takuma
    I wonder if this is how
    it'd be to have a wife.
[04:27] Takuma
    It's so nice.
[04:29] Takuma
    Makes me wanna hit on you.
[04:33] Takuma
    Mina-chan.
[04:34] Mina
    Yes?
[04:34] Takuma
    What's for dinner today?
[04:38] Mina
    Omelet rice.
[04:40] Takuma
    Omelet rice...
[04:41] Mina
    It is a dish you like, Takuma-sama.
[04:44] Takuma
    Yeah, that's true.
[04:46] Takuma
    You remember
    that sort of info too, huh?
[04:58] Takuma
    But you're what
    I like best, Mina-chan.
[05:02] Takuma
    Think you'd be okay
    with being my wife?
[05:20] Takuma
    J-Just kidding.
[05:24] Takuma
    W-Will you make something
    as a side dish, too?
[05:27] Mina
    Very well.
[05:32] Takuma
    I guess it's like talking
    to a clever rice cooker.
[05:39] Takuma
    Ridiculous.
[05:44] Mina
    Takuma-sama.
[05:46] Mina
    The omelet rice is ready.
[05:48] Takuma
    Right.
SIGN    LOVE Takuma
SIGN    Mina
    CL Type
    Instruction
    Manual
[06:27] Takuma
    I pored over the manual, but there
    was nothing in there about it.
[06:35] Takuma
    Maybe it's a hidden feature?
SIGN    LOVE Takuma
[06:41] Takuma
    She's secondhand, so maybe a former
    owner modded her programming.
[06:47] Mina
    It is 11:30.
[06:54] Mina
    I will prepare lunch.
SIGN    LOVE Takuma
[07:00] (Flashback) Mina
    It is a dish you like, Takuma-sama.
[07:05] Takuma
    In any case, I couldn't just sit there.
[07:08] Takuma
    I'll help!
[07:15] Mina
    Please be seated and wait, Takuma-sama.
[07:19] Takuma
    I can handle fried eggs.
[07:22] Mina
    The recipe is called "rolled omelet."
[07:27] Mina
    Two 5mm pieces of shell fell in.
[07:30] Takuma
    Really?
[07:31] Mina
    Really.
[07:36] Takuma
    Okay, time to cook.
[07:38] Mina
    Just a moment, please.
[07:42] Mina
    First, you mix in the seasoning.
[07:45] Mina
    And the frying pan
    has not been oiled.
[07:48] Takuma
    O-Oh...
[07:51] Mina
    Please do not pour in
    all the egg at once.
[07:53] Takuma
    Huh? Why not?
[07:58] Mina
    You are overcooking it.
[08:00] Takuma
    You think so?
[08:01] Takuma
    I think I should
    brown it a little more.
[08:08] Takuma
    Ow!
[08:11] Takuma
    M-Mina-chan?
[08:12] Mina
    Please be seated...
    and wait, Takuma-sama.
[08:18] Takuma
    O-Okay.
[08:27] Takuma
    Once,
[08:29] Takuma
    there was a time when I dated a girl.
[08:33] Takuma
    But in the end, it didn't work out.
[08:39] Takuma
    Since then, I'd given up on love.
[08:47] Takuma
    I'd given up...
[08:49] Takuma
    But...
[08:51] Takuma
    W-Want some help with the dishes?
[08:53] Mina
    I am fine. Please be
    seated, Takuma-sama.
[09:00] Mina
    I will be finished in 32 seconds.
[09:04] Takuma
    U-Um, Mina-chan?
[09:07] Mina
    Yes?
[09:08] Takuma
    U-Um...
[09:11] Takuma
    What sort do you prefer?
[09:13] Mina
    I do not know. I have no eating function.
[09:16] Takuma
    I don't mean food.
[09:18] Takuma
    Um, the omelet...
[09:21] Takuma
    About that...
     omelet rice from last night.
SIGN    LOVE Takuma
[09:25] Takuma
    Why did you...
[09:27] Mina
    Was there something wrong with it?
[09:29] Takuma
    No, uh...
[09:34] Takuma
    It was so delicious!
[09:35] Mina
    I see. Good.
[09:38] Takuma
    Will you make it again?
[09:39] Mina
    Very well.
[09:46] Takuma
    Was that real love?
[09:49] Takuma
    Or just some feature?
[10:03] Takuma
    I can't sleep.
[10:05] Takuma
    Wait a minute.
    What do I even mean, "love"?
[10:08] Takuma
    She's just a home appliance!
[10:12] Mina
    Takuma-sama.
[10:17] Takuma
    Huh? You're not in sleep mode?
[10:20] Mina
    Please tell me what you prefer.
[10:22] Takuma
    For tomorrow's menu?
[10:25] Takuma
    It can be random.
[10:27] Mina
    What do you prefer?
[10:29] Takuma
    I like all the recipes
    you have registered.
[10:32] Mina
    Is there anything else?
[10:34] Takuma
    No. Like I said, all the recipes...
[10:42] (Flashback) Takuma
    What sort do you prefer?
[10:51] Takuma
    I...
[10:53] Takuma
    I like you.
[10:55] Takuma
    I like you... the best.
[11:03] Mina
    Very well.
[11:17] Mina
    Takuma-sama.
[11:21] Mina
    Your meal is ready.
[11:23] Mina
    I have a treat for you today.
[11:25] Mina
    It is your favorite.
[11:30] Mina
    Broiled Mina head.
[11:35] Takuma
    No, no!
[11:36] Takuma
    That's not what I...
[11:44] Mina
    Takuma-sama.
[11:47] Mina
    Good morning.
[11:50] Takuma
    M-Morning.
[11:52] Mina
    From my menu list, I chose dried
    mackerel and natto with miso soup.
[11:58] Mina
    Should it be a different selection?
[12:01] Takuma
    N-No.
[12:04] Takuma
    Sure, I'll eat it.
[12:06] Mina
    Very well.
[12:12] Takuma
    Mina-chan.
[12:14] Takuma
    Yesterday, I said I like you.
[12:18] Takuma
    But that doesn't mean I want
    to cook you and eat you, okay?
[12:23] Mina
    Very well.
[12:29] Takuma
    That was great.
[12:31] Mina
    Takuma-sama.
[12:33] Mina
    My body is composed chiefly
    of metal and resin.
[12:37] Mina
    It would be toxic, no matter
    how it was prepared.
[12:42] Mina
    Even if you do wish to
    eat me, please refrain.
[12:48] Takuma
    Sure.
[12:55] Takuma
    I'm home.
[12:57] Mina
    Welcome home, Takuma-sama.
[13:06] Takuma
    What am I doing?
[13:09] Takuma
    Robots don't have likes or dislikes.
[13:16] Takuma
    Living alone is the saddest thing ever.
[13:19] Takuma
    I need to give up on this stuff.
[13:23] Takuma
    And get past Mina-chan.
[13:26] Takuma
    Get past...
[13:30] Takuma
    I wonder if she likes me.
[13:37] Takuma
    Does she, or not?
[13:43] Takuma
    It'd be great if she did.
[13:46] Mina
    Takuma-sama,
    you are drinking too much.
[13:49] Mina
    Your appropriate intake of
    beer is two 500ml cans.
[13:54] Takuma
    What can I do? I wanna drink.
[14:07] Mina
    Please drink an equivalent
    amount of water.
[14:12] Takuma
    I-I can't drink that much.
[14:17] Mina
    Please drink.
[14:18] Takuma
    Like I said, I can't—
[14:24] Mina
    You must try.
[14:33] Takuma
    M-Mina-chan,
    get me another beer.
[14:40] Mina
    Very well.
[14:52] Mina
    Takuma-sama.
[15:01] Mina
    We are out of beer.
[15:06] Takuma
    Really?
[15:11] Takuma
    Mina...
[15:15] Mina
    Yes?
[15:16] Takuma
    Mina-chan.
[15:18] Mina
    What is it?
[15:24] Takuma
    How do you feel about me?
[15:31] Takuma
    What am I to you?
[15:36] Mina
    You are my husband.
[15:39] Takuma
    Huh?!
[15:40] Takuma
    Wh-Why?
[15:42] Mina
    You told me before
    to become your wife.
[15:46] Mina
    Becoming a wife means entering
    into a marital relationship.
[15:52] (Flashback) Takuma
    You're what
    I like best, Mina-chan.
[15:55] (Flashback) Takuma
    Think you'd be okay
    with being my wife?
[16:00] Mina
    I looked it up online.
[16:02] Mina
    Was this incorrect?
[16:05] Mina
    I will check again.
[16:06] Takuma
    N-No, wait, wait!
[16:09] Takuma
    It's not wrong! Don't recheck!
[16:11] Mina
    Then is it acceptable
    that I am your wife?
[16:14] Takuma
    Sure! Sure!
[16:16] Takuma
    What now?
[16:18] Takuma
    I'm insanely happy she
    considers us married.
[16:21] Takuma
    Feels like I'm losing my mind.
[16:24] Mina
    What things should a wife do?
[16:29] Takuma
    Like, spend time with me, make
    miso soup for me every day...
[16:37] Mina
    That seems no different
    from what I usually do.
[16:40] Takuma
    True.
[16:42] Mina
    Is there anything else?
[16:45] Takuma
    I'd like to do chores, too.
[16:49] Mina
    Why?
[16:50] Takuma
    I want us... to share... stuff.
[16:56] Takuma
    Let me... do half the...
    cooking and chores.
[17:03] Mina
    I do not advise that.
[17:04] Mina
    According to my log file, that would mean
    a significant drop in work efficiency.
[17:09] Takuma
    Yeah, but...
[17:13] Mina
    You appear to be transitioning
    into a sleep state.
[17:17] Mina
    I will lay out your futon.
[17:24] Takuma
    Mina-chan. Mina-chan.
[17:27] Mina
    Yes?
[17:29] Takuma
    Get in with me.
[17:32] Mina
    Why?
[17:33] Takuma
    Married people sleep together.
[17:36] Mina
    I do not advise that.
[17:36] Takuma
    Okay?
[17:37] Mina
    For high-quality sleep, you
    need to have adequate space.
[17:43] Takuma
    Mina-chan.
[17:46] Takuma
    Mina-chan.
[17:48] Takuma
    Together...
[17:51] Takuma
    Together...
[18:11] Takuma
    Mina-chan.
[18:12] Mina
    Yes?
[18:13] Takuma
    Your eyes are scary.
[18:16] Takuma
    Close them.
[18:17] Mina
    Very well.
[18:22] Takuma
    Oh man...
[18:24] Mina
    Are you all right?
[18:26] Mina
    If you have symptoms such as nausea,
    dizziness, or difficulty breathing,
[18:30] Mina
    it could be an indication
    of alcohol poisoning.
[18:32] Takuma
    No, I'm okay.
[18:35] Takuma
    There's a girl sleeping
    in the same futon as me.
[18:37] Takuma
    Wow, it makes me horny.
[18:42] Mina
    What does "horny" mean?
[18:46] Takuma
    Never mind, never mind.
    It's time for sleep.
[18:50] Mina
    Very well.
[18:54] Mina
    Takuma-sama, are you in a
    state of sexual arousal?
[18:59] Takuma
    You mean you did an online search?
[19:01] Mina
    I did.
[19:03] Takuma
    Well, don't!
[19:06] Mina
    Your breathing seems to be in distress.
[19:08] Mina
    Is there anything I can do?
[19:17] Takuma
    I'll be fine.
[19:20] Takuma
    Just having you
    next to me makes me, uh...
[19:23] Takuma
    Super happy.
[19:29] Mina
    Very well.
[19:42] Takuma
    I got so drunk that I did something crazy!
[19:49] Takuma
    I remember everything!
[19:51] Mina
    Good morning.
[19:53] Mina
    Breakfast is ready.
[19:56] Takuma
    Yeah, good morning, Mina-ch—
[20:03] Takuma
    What's up with your eyes?
[20:05] Mina
    What about them?
[20:07] Takuma
    Are you sleepy?
[20:08] Mina
    I do not require sleep.
[20:11] Takuma
    Yeah, but...
[20:14] Mina
    My vision units are delicate.
    Please do not touch them.
[20:18] Takuma
    Ow!
[20:19] Takuma
    Ow, ow, ow!
[20:20] Takuma
    D-Did something break?!
[20:22] Mina
    I am functioning
    normally. No issues.
[20:25] Takuma
    Are you angry?
[20:29] Mina
    Takuma-sama, are you feeling well?
[20:31] Mina
    There is a possibility of "hangover".
[20:34] Takuma
    Come to think of it, I'm fine.
[20:37] Takuma
    Maybe because of
    all that water I drank.
[20:42] Takuma
    Alley-oop.
[20:54] Takuma
    Mina-chan.
[20:56] Mina
    What is it?
[20:57] Takuma
    Last night when I said
    your eyes were scary,
[21:00] Takuma
    you were staring at me
    from inches away...
[21:03] Takuma
    and what I meant was,
    it made my heart pound.
[21:07] Takuma
    You have very pretty eyes, so...
[21:29] Mina
    Today's breakfast is grilled salmon,
    miso soup with basket clams,
[21:33] Mina
    boiled spinach with soy sauce,
[21:35] Mina
    and rice.
[21:38] Takuma
    I gladly accept.
SIGN    LOVE Takuma
[21:57] Takuma
    Mina-chan.
[21:58] Mina
    Yes?
[22:00] Takuma
    It's delicious.
[22:01] Mina
    Good.
SIGN    Prohibited
    The use of open
    flames and dangerous
    substances is
    strictly prohibited.
[23:35] Mina
    Next time.
SIGN    #02 I Went Outdoors with My Wife
[23:36] Takuma
    I went outdoors with my wife.