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E3 - You Must Not Fall in Love with Your Oshi

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:14] ---
    And there you have it!
[00:15] ---
    The Lmaoh Hunting Gear Shop!
[00:17] ---
    You can find the Lmaoh Hunting Gear Shop's
    whole roast pig at the right of the stage!
[00:23] ---
    We'll be waiting to serve you!
[00:26] ---
    I see.
[00:27] ---
    These onstage performances have
    an impact on each shop's stall sales.

[00:32] ---
    But really...
[00:34] ---
    Jess is such a hard worker.
[00:38] ---
    While on the other hand...
[00:40] ---
    Oh, man.
[00:41] ---
    I can't wait to get this over with
    and go for a drink.
[00:45] ---
    You said it!
[00:46] ---
    Why aren't they helping Jess?
[00:50] ---
    Evening, fellows!
[00:51] ---
    Thanks for keeping an eye on the shop!
[00:53] ---
    Thank you, sir!
[00:54] ---
    Give it your all tonight!
[00:56] ---
    I'm sure we'll have tons of customers...
[00:58] ---
    so I've doubled our usual stock of liquor.
[01:01] ---
    Doubled it?
[01:02] ---
    Yeah. I've got high hopes
    for the Yethma's pig...
[01:05] ---
    so I just made a last-minute purchase.
[01:07] ---
    There he goes again,
    calling Jess Yethma instead of by name.

[01:11] ---
    He may be looking out for her,
    but that reeks of discrimination!

[01:16] ---
    Oh, whatever.
[01:17] ---
    We won't be seeing them again
    after tonight anyway.

[01:20] ---
    Let me draw enough customers
    to make these lazy saps squeal...

[01:24] ---
    so they can rake in all the cash they want!
[01:27] ---
    After that...
[01:28] ---
    it's goodbye!
[03:01] ---
    Everyone, I'm with Kilins Jewels!
[03:04] ---
    Until yesterday, I'd planned on having
    a musical band perform for you...
[03:09] ---
    but tonight, along with the band...
[03:11] ---
    this special pig will be gracing the stage!
[03:17] ---
    I'd totally forgotten about this part!
[03:19] ---
    I have no doubt in my mind that this will be
    something you've never seen before!
[03:24] ---
    So please sit back and watch!
[03:28] ---
    I was the kid who got so nervous, I'd stammer
    just introducing myself to my classmates...

[03:32] ---
    and now I'm going to dance
    in front of this crowd?

[03:35] ---
    Impossible!
[03:36] ---
    Huh?
[03:38] ---
    Jess!
[03:39] ---
    You're cheering me on
    like the brave soul that you are?

[03:41] ---
    So sweet!
[03:43] ---
    Oh... When I'm done...
[03:44] ---
    I'd love to cradle my head
    on Jess's soft thighs...

[03:47] ---
    lick Jess's face like a dog
    and drench her with my slobber! Jess's tiny—

[03:52] ---
    Excuse me.
[03:53] ---
    I can hear all that.
[03:54] ---
    Huh? You can?
[03:58] ---
    All right, pig!
[03:59] ---
    Time to dance!
[04:05] ---
    All right.
[04:06] ---
    I'm gonna do it!
[04:10] ---
    PIG
[04:19] ---
    Okay!
[04:22] ---
    PIG
[04:23] ---
    Yes! Yeah!
[04:25] ---
    Okay!
[04:30] ---
    PIG
[04:30] ---
    Yes! Cool!
[04:32] ---
    Yeah! Great!
[04:35] ---
    PIG
[04:35] ---
    Okay!
[04:36] ---
    Yes!
[04:37] ---
    Cool!
[04:38] ---
    Great!
[04:39] ---
    Okay!
[04:40] ---
    Yeah!
[04:41] ---
    Great!
[04:42] ---
    Perfect!
[04:42] ---
    Okay!
[04:44] ---
    Yes!
[04:44] ---
    Yeah!
[04:45] ---
    Cool!
[04:46] ---
    Yes!
[04:47] ---
    Okay!
[04:47] ---
    Great!
[04:48] ---
    Perfect!
[04:50] ---
    PIG
[04:50] ---
    Okay!
[04:51] ---
    Yes!
[04:52] ---
    Yeah!
[04:53] ---
    Cool! Okay!
[04:54] ---
    Great! Perfect!
[04:55] ---
    Okay! Yes!
[04:57] ---
    Yeah!
[04:58] ---
    Okay!
[04:58] ---
    Cool!
[04:59] ---
    Great!
[05:00] ---
    Okay!
[05:00] ---
    Yes! Yeah!
[05:01] ---
    Okay! Cool!
[05:03] ---
    Yes!
[05:03] ---
    Yeah! Okay!
[05:05] ---
    Great!
[05:06] ---
    Perfect!
[05:19] ---
    You Must Not Fall in Love
    with Your Oshi
[05:23] ---
    Hey, pig!
[05:24] ---
    That was incredible!
[05:26] ---
    Look at the crowd you brought in!
[05:29] ---
    It's all well and good that he's happy...
[05:31] ---
    but I just know I twisted it when I fell!
[05:34] ---
    Um...
[05:35] ---
    Your injury... Are you okay?
[05:37] ---
    Jess!
[05:38] ---
    Sure!
[05:39] ---
    I made a soft landing!
[05:40] ---
    No sweat!
[05:41] ---
    Ah, Jess...
[05:43] ---
    It's late.
[05:44] ---
    You can head home now.
[05:46] ---
    Go on now.
[05:47] ---
    But...
[05:48] ---
    I think it's really going to get busy now.
[05:51] ---
    That's true, but I couldn't let myself
    impose on House Kiltyrin any longer.
[05:56] ---
    Don't worry...
[05:57] ---
    my young guys will take it from here!
[06:00] ---
    But...
[06:01] ---
    Jess...
[06:03] ---
    Just go home like the old guy says.
[06:05] ---
    I'll be just fine!
[06:07] ---
    If you stay any longer, they'll start
    suspecting you after I've escaped!

[06:11] ---
    That's one thing I want to avoid!
[06:13] ---
    So go on please!
[06:15] ---
    You're really going to be fine?
[06:18] ---
    Sure! You can count on me!
[06:19] ---
    Very well.
[06:21] ---
    Then, I'll be waiting for you
    tomorrow morning under that tree.

[06:24] ---
    Right.
[06:27] ---
    All right, then...
[06:28] ---
    thank you for everything until now!
[06:31] ---
    Well, you take care of yourself.
[06:43] ---
    I'm leaving the shop to you guys!
[06:45] ---
    Yes, sir!
[06:48] ---
    I was full of bravado just now
    for Jess's sake...

[06:51] ---
    but worst case,
    this pain could mean a fracture.

[06:53] ---
    Will I be able to make my escape on this leg?
[06:56] ---
    Hey, piggie!
[06:58] ---
    Do something, will ya?
[07:01] ---
    This is no time to whine! Right now...
[07:04] ---
    I've got to get everything in order!
[07:23] ---
    Hey, youngster...
[07:24] ---
    Could you take that collar off?
[07:27] ---
    Aha!
[07:29] ---
    For 10 golts a bottle, sure!
[07:31] ---
    All right, you've got it.
[07:34] ---
    Thank you for your business!
[07:35] ---
    Hey!
[07:36] ---
    Yo!
[07:38] ---
    There you go!
[07:40] ---
    Just like I drew it up.
[07:44] ---
    The physical barrier has been cleared.
[07:47] ---
    Now all that's left is the human barrier.
[08:00] ---
    Oink, oink.
[08:02] ---
    Huh? What's this?
[08:03] ---
    You want me to dance, too?
[08:05] ---
    Oink.
[08:09] ---
    All right!
[08:19] ---
    If you want to dance with the pig,
    please buy a bottle!
[08:22] ---
    Gotcha!
[08:24] ---
    I'll take it!
[08:25] ---
    Thanks!
[08:28] ---
    All right!
[08:29] ---
    That's it.
[08:31] ---
    Drink more liquor!
[08:33] ---
    Keep getting drunker and drunker!
[08:52] ---
    I made my escape, all right.
[08:54] ---
    Now I just have to head to that spot.
[08:57] ---
    But...
[08:58] ---
    if Jess finds out about this injury...
[09:00] ---
    she might end up using
    that black rista again.

[09:03] ---
    Huh?
[09:10] ---
    I guess I'll draw less attention
    going this way.

[09:20] ---
    You messed up, so you clean it up yourself.
[09:21] ---
    Huh?
[09:22] ---
    Sorry, man.
[09:23] ---
    But there's nothing I can do!
[09:24] ---
    All you had to do
    was make it look like an accident!
[09:27] ---
    You don't get it!
[09:28] ---
    The pig she had with her
    suddenly made a run for it...
[09:30] ---
    and they were gone just like that!
[09:32] ---
    That voice... It's the rista dealer
    from this afternoon.

[09:35] ---
    Is he talking about me?
[09:37] ---
    Who's the other guy?
[09:38] ---
    Then, kill her!
[09:40] ---
    Huh?
[09:41] ---
    You know where the mansion is, right?
[09:44] ---
    Just tail her and then off her.
[09:45] ---
    Hold up a second!
    I'm really sorry about this, okay?
[09:48] ---
    That's way too harsh! If I'm caught killing
    a House Kiltyrin Yethma, I'll be done for!
[09:53] ---
    You only have yourself to blame.
[09:54] ---
    If you don't want to do it yourself,
[09:56] ---
    get a Yethma hunter
    from the provinces to do it for you.
[09:58] ---
    No way would a hired Yethma hunter
    do that for me!
[10:02] ---
    Offer him big money.
[10:03] ---
    Like I have those kinds of funds.
[10:06] ---
    Listen up!
[10:08] ---
    Either you kill the Yethma
    or you die yourself.
[10:12] ---
    You make sure you bring me
    the corpse of that Yethma by tomorrow night.
[10:16] ---
    Or else...
[10:17] ---
    I'll kill you along with her.
[10:30] ---
    Damn!
[10:31] ---
    I just gotta do it, right?
[10:33] ---
    Huh? Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[10:35] ---
    Why are they talking
    about killing Jess now?

[10:37] ---
    Just hold up a second!
    I need time to think!

[10:39] ---
    Is that guy heading over to where Jess is?
[10:41] ---
    I have to stop him
    whatever it takes! Right?

[10:44] ---
    But what can I do?
[10:45] ---
    A farm animal reduced to trembling...
[10:47] ---
    What on earth can I do?
[10:49] ---
    Actually, why can't I move my legs?
[10:51] ---
    Dammit, dammit, dammit,
    dammit, dammit, dammit!

[10:54] ---
    No, calm down, me!
[10:56] ---
    How can you stand here frozen with fear,
[10:57] ---
    allowing the pure young girl
    who awaits me to end up being killed?

[11:06] ---
    Okay, I'm going to follow that guy!
[11:09] ---
    Come up with a plan
    while you're watching his moves!

[11:11] ---
    Where'd he go?
[11:14] ---
    That's right! I'm a pig!
[11:16] ---
    I have a wider field of view than humans!
[11:18] ---
    And on top of that,
    if I use my porcine sense of smell...

[11:21] ---
    That unique stench
    of a human smoker's breath!

[11:23] ---
    The stale smell of hair
    that's never gotten a decent wash!

[11:26] ---
    And above all, that mint-like fragrance!
[11:30] ---
    Found him!
[11:31] ---
    I can still pursue him!
[11:33] ---
    I can't afford to give up!
[11:35] ---
    A pig has his own brand of specialty!
[11:39] ---
    Think, me!
[11:41] ---
    What can you do to protect Jess?
[11:43] ---
    What's in that bag?
    The tools of his trade?

[11:46] ---
    With that baggage to haul...
[11:47] ---
    and on that bad leg,
    he probably has no agility.

[11:50] ---
    So should I get ahead of him
    and make a run for it with Jess?

[11:54] ---
    What are those Yethma hunters
    that big guy mentioned?

[11:58] ---
    Even if we escape, can we survive
    if they come after us?

[12:01] ---
    How can I make those villains
    give up on the idea of killing her?

[12:12] ---
    I don't have much time!
[12:13] ---
    I'll just have to meet up with Jess
    before he gets to her!

[12:18] ---
    Dammit!
[12:21] ---
    Run, pig!
[12:22] ---
    I'm going to save Jess!
[12:33] ---
    All right. That guy's not here yet.
[12:36] ---
    Jess! Hey, Jess!
[12:38] ---
    Can you hear me?
[12:39] ---
    Crap, is she asleep?
[12:42] ---
    What should I do?
[12:43] ---
    Don't panic!
[12:44] ---
    Regain your composure and think!
[12:46] ---
    According to those villains,
[12:48] ---
    House Kiltyrin's sway
    is as powerful as Jess said it was.

[12:51] ---
    They know where the mansion is,
    and yet he said, "Tail her and then off her."

[12:55] ---
    That has to mean that they can't kill her
    on the House Kiltyrin grounds!

[13:00] ---
    Which means I can predict
    what that guy's going to do!

[13:03] ---
    He's going to keep an eye on the mansion
    until Jess comes out...

[13:05] ---
    and ambush her as soon as she emerges!
[13:07] ---
    So, he's going to lie in wait for Jess
    outside the mansion, huh?

[13:11] ---
    Jess will be heading
    to the farm before sunrise.

[13:14] ---
    The timing couldn't be more perfect for him!
[13:17] ---
    I can't let that happen!
[13:20] ---
    Isn't there some way
    I can tell her what's going on?

[13:26] ---
    I have zero experience, so I have no clue...
[13:29] ---
    but at times like these,
    how early would a girl typically show up?

[13:34] ---
    A girl like Jess just might...
[13:39] ---
    Reaching out a helping hand to me
    when I was covered in mud...

[13:41] ---
    Using a black rista no less.
[13:44] ---
    With no regard for the consequences...
[13:46] ---
    Where can I ever find
    someone so kind in my life?

[13:49] ---
    Nope!
[13:50] ---
    I mean, I can't!
[13:52] ---
    Otaku always fall in love so easily!
[13:54] ---
    I can't let my thoughts go there now!
[14:23] ---
    Hey!
[14:24] ---
    It's still the middle of the night!
[14:26] ---
    You didn't come here this early
    to wait for me, did you?

[14:32] ---
    It looks painful.
    Those are the hands of a hard worker.

[14:35] ---
    Killing a child like this...
[14:37] ---
    That can't be anything a human would do!
[14:39] ---
    I won't let Jess get hurt
    just so that man can keep himself safe!

[14:43] ---
    If he so much as lays a finger on her,
    I'll rip his whole arm off with my teeth!

[14:49] ---
    Jess...
[14:50] ---
    Wake up!
[14:52] ---
    Hey, Jess!
[14:56] ---
    She's awake! Whoa!
[14:58] ---
    I was...
[15:00] ---
    so worried about you!
[15:07] ---
    Jess, listen to me.
[15:09] ---
    The man who was selling ristae
    this afternoon in that back alley...

[15:12] ---
    is on his way to kill you,
    and he's getting close!

[15:15] ---
    If I'm guessing right,
    it's to silence you.

[15:18] ---
    They're into some shady business.
[15:21] ---
    And if House Kiltyrin, their masters,
    find out about it, it'll be all over for them.

[15:24] ---
    But...
[15:25] ---
    But I would never tell!
[15:27] ---
    I'm sure you wouldn't,
    but that doesn't matter to villains like them!

[15:31] ---
    What should I do?
[15:32] ---
    If I get killed...
[15:34] ---
    you might never get
    your human form back, Mister Pig.
[15:37] ---
    How can you worry about me right now?
[15:42] ---
    Anyway, let's put our heads together
    and figure this out!

[15:45] ---
    In that case, why don't we
    just run off together now?
[15:49] ---
    That wouldn't solve anything, would it?
[15:52] ---
    For one thing, they may pursue us...
[15:54] ---
    and for another, they might attack you
    when you come back here!

[15:58] ---
    I think the best thing to do...
[16:00] ---
    would be to tell House Kiltyrin about
    his dastardly deeds and have them arrest him!

[16:04] ---
    But... I wonder if they'd go
    that far just for me.
[16:09] ---
    Haven't you served them here
    for a long time?

[16:12] ---
    Yes.
[16:13] ---
    But I'm a Yethma.
[16:16] ---
    In terms of rank...
[16:18] ---
    House Kiltyrin and I
    couldn't be further apart.
[16:20] ---
    I don't see them lending an ear
    to anything I might say.
[16:25] ---
    But if something were to happen to you,
    it wouldn't be good for House Kiltyrin, either, right?

[16:28] ---
    You're still in your peak working years.
[16:31] ---
    Um...
[16:32] ---
    What's wrong?
[16:34] ---
    I'm sorry.
[16:35] ---
    The truth is, I'm not going back
    to the mansion.
[16:39] ---
    I was starting to get that feeling...
    but it's true, then.

[16:43] ---
    All right.
[16:44] ---
    You can tell me the reason another time.
[16:46] ---
    For now, let's figure out
    what we're going to do.

[16:50] ---
    Isn't there some way to create a situation
    that would force House Kiltyrin to take action?

[16:56] ---
    Jess, is there any kind of facility on this farm
    where we could lock someone up?

[17:00] ---
    Let's see.
[17:02] ---
    There's a warehouse for masonry.
[17:04] ---
    If we lock it from the outside...
[17:06] ---
    he couldn't get out.
[17:08] ---
    Can you get hold of the key?
[17:10] ---
    Yes.
[17:11] ---
    It's right inside the kitchen door,
    so I think I should be fine.
[17:15] ---
    I see.
[17:16] ---
    So, you'll have to make sure you don't get caught
    while you're retrieving that key.

[17:21] ---
    Tell me, Jess.
[17:22] ---
    Even if you're just a servant...
[17:23] ---
    you can at least leave the people
    of House Kiltyrin a note, right?

[17:27] ---
    Yes. That wouldn't be a problem.
[17:29] ---
    Okay. Then, let me tell you about our plan.
[17:37] ---
    He's targeting you, not me, Jess.
[17:39] ---
    Worst-case scenario,
    you run off by yourself.

[17:43] ---
    Never mind!
[17:44] ---
    As long as I don't mess up,
    we'll be fine!

[18:20] ---
    All right. If he sees
    that I'm leading him toward a campfire...

[18:23] ---
    he'll think that Jess might be there.
[18:30] ---
    There you go.
[18:31] ---
    Just stay right there by the fire.
[18:33] ---
    That will close your pupils...
[18:36] ---
    and the visual pigment
    in your rod cells will be depleted.

[18:38] ---
    That's light adaptation.
[18:41] ---
    Jess, we're good! Do it now!
[18:43] ---
    Okay!
[18:45] ---
    It takes time for humans
    to get used to seeing in the dark!

[18:48] ---
    You shouldn't be able to spot Jess
    with your vision in its current state!

[18:53] ---
    Mister Pig!
[18:54] ---
    All right!
[19:10] ---
    Are you ready, Jess?
[19:12] ---
    Yes. I'm hiding behind the warehouse.
[19:14] ---
    All right! Then let's do it!
[19:24] ---
    So far, it's all going according to plan.
[19:29] ---
    Oh, crap!
[19:30] ---
    Even with that bad leg, there's a good chance
    that he could escape from that window!

[19:33] ---
    So, it's not enough
    to just lock him in from the outside?

[19:37] ---
    In that case...
[19:38] ---
    can I make it without messing up?
[19:40] ---
    No, I'm not onstage
    before an audience this time!

[19:43] ---
    We nerds shine where no one can see us!
[19:49] ---
    I'm going to protect Jess!
[19:51] ---
    It's time for me to pay her back!
[19:56] ---
    Huh?
[19:58] ---
    Go!
[20:02] ---
    How's that?
[20:03] ---
    Pig skulls are hard!
[20:05] ---
    What's up with you?
[20:07] ---
    Oh, crap! So he can still move
    his left leg, huh?

[20:10] ---
    Then, let me inflict another blow on him!
[20:12] ---
    You little... Damn you!
[20:15] ---
    You...
[20:19] ---
    Take this!
[20:21] ---
    Ow!
[20:23] ---
    Okay!
[20:23] ---
    Now he's immobilized!
[20:27] ---
    Jess! Now's your chance!
[20:28] ---
    Close this door!
[20:30] ---
    Right!
[20:34] ---
    Good job!
[20:35] ---
    You're safe now!
[20:37] ---
    Thank good—
[20:40] ---
    Jess...
[20:43] ---
    Mister Pig!
[20:45] ---
    So I got stabbed, huh?
[20:48] ---
    But thanks to this pain,
    I now know without a doubt...

[20:50] ---
    that this world is no dream.
[20:53] ---
    I've really been reincarnated into an isekai.
[20:57] ---
    Am I...
[20:59] ---
    going to die?
[21:00] ---
    Don't do it!
[21:01] ---
    Mister Pig!
    I don't want you to die!
[21:04] ---
    Jess...
[21:05] ---
    It was only for a short time...
[21:07] ---
    but it was fun.
[21:08] ---
    Don't say that!
[21:09] ---
    Aren't you coming
    with me to the royal capital?
[21:12] ---
    Just forget about me.
[21:14] ---
    All you have to do
    is take care of what you need to do.

[21:18] ---
    Don't you worry about me.
[21:21] ---
    That's not it!
[21:23] ---
    That's not what I'm really talking about!
[21:27] ---
    Um...
[21:28] ---
    I still haven't even let you
    see me naked, Mister Pig!
[21:31] ---
    You're the one who told me...
[21:35] ---
    to save it for just the right time!
[21:37] ---
    Just the scrawny four-eyed virgin
    talking nonsense.

[21:40] ---
    Forget about it.
[21:41] ---
    But, no...
[21:48] ---
    I'm sleepy.
[21:50] ---
    The blood loss must be hindering
    the flow of oxygen to my brain.

[21:54] ---
    Compared to dying of food poisoning...
[21:57] ---
    what greater bliss could there be than having
    a beautiful young girl at my deathbed?

[22:02] ---
    Nice to meet you, too, Mister Pig!
[22:05] ---
    If you do it again...
[22:06] ---
    then I'm going to bully you, Mister Pig!
[22:09] ---
    If you keep calling me
    a "beauty" or an "angel"...

[22:12] ---
    I'm going to have to spank you, Mister Pig!
[22:14] ---
    I would be happy to go with you.
[22:17] ---
    Perhaps this is fate?
[22:26] ---
    Please...
[22:28] ---
    Please don't leave me alone!