# E3 - You Must Not Fall in Love with Your Oshi
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GK9U3M5DJ/you-must-not-fall-in-love-with-your-oshi)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:14] ---**
And there you have it!
**[00:15] ---**
The Lmaoh Hunting Gear Shop!
**[00:17] ---**
You can find the Lmaoh Hunting Gear Shop's
whole roast pig at the right of the stage!
**[00:23] ---**
We'll be waiting to serve you!
**[00:26] ---**
*I see.*
**[00:27] ---**
*These onstage performances have
an impact on each shop's stall sales.*
**[00:32] ---**
*But really...*
**[00:34] ---**
*Jess is such a hard worker.*
**[00:38] ---**
*While on the other hand...*
**[00:40] ---**
Oh, man.
**[00:41] ---**
I can't wait to get this over with
and go for a drink.
**[00:45] ---**
You said it!
**[00:46] ---**
*Why aren't they helping Jess?*
**[00:50] ---**
Evening, fellows!
**[00:51] ---**
Thanks for keeping an eye on the shop!
**[00:53] ---**
Thank you, sir!
**[00:54] ---**
Give it your all tonight!
**[00:56] ---**
I'm sure we'll have tons of customers...
**[00:58] ---**
so I've doubled our usual stock of liquor.
**[01:01] ---**
Doubled it?
**[01:02] ---**
Yeah. I've got high hopes
for the Yethma's pig...
**[01:05] ---**
so I just made a last-minute purchase.
**[01:07] ---**
*There he goes again,
calling Jess Yethma instead of by name.*
**[01:11] ---**
*He may be looking out for her,
but that reeks of discrimination!*
**[01:16] ---**
*Oh, whatever.*
**[01:17] ---**
*We won't be seeing them again
after tonight anyway.*
**[01:20] ---**
*Let me draw enough customers
to make these lazy saps squeal...*
**[01:24] ---**
*so they can rake in all the cash they want!*
**[01:27] ---**
*After that...*
**[01:28] ---**
*it's goodbye!*
**[03:01] ---**
Everyone, I'm with Kilins Jewels!
**[03:04] ---**
Until yesterday, I'd planned on having
a musical band perform for you...
**[03:09] ---**
but tonight, along with the band...
**[03:11] ---**
this special pig will be gracing the stage!
**[03:17] ---**
*I'd totally forgotten about this part!*
**[03:19] ---**
I have no doubt in my mind that this will be
something you've never seen before!
**[03:24] ---**
So please sit back and watch!
**[03:28] ---**
*I was the kid who got so nervous, I'd stammer
just introducing myself to my classmates...*
**[03:32] ---**
*and now I'm going to dance
in front of this crowd?*
**[03:35] ---**
*Impossible!*
**[03:36] ---**
*Huh?*
**[03:38] ---**
*Jess!*
**[03:39] ---**
*You're cheering me on
like the brave soul that you are?*
**[03:41] ---**
*So sweet!*
**[03:43] ---**
*Oh... When I'm done...*
**[03:44] ---**
*I'd love to cradle my head
on Jess's soft thighs...*
**[03:47] ---**
*lick Jess's face like a dog
and drench her with my slobber! Jess's tiny—*
**[03:52] ---**
*Excuse me.*
**[03:53] ---**
*I can hear all that.*
**[03:54] ---**
*Huh? You can?*
**[03:58] ---**
All right, pig!
**[03:59] ---**
Time to dance!
**[04:05] ---**
*All right.*
**[04:06] ---**
*I'm gonna do it!*
**[04:10] ---**
PIG
**[04:19] ---**
*Okay!*
**[04:22] ---**
PIG
**[04:23] ---**
*Yes! Yeah!*
**[04:25] ---**
*Okay!*
**[04:30] ---**
PIG
**[04:30] ---**
*Yes! Cool!*
**[04:32] ---**
*Yeah! Great!*
**[04:35] ---**
PIG
**[04:35] ---**
*Okay!*
**[04:36] ---**
*Yes!*
**[04:37] ---**
*Cool!*
**[04:38] ---**
*Great!*
**[04:39] ---**
*Okay!*
**[04:40] ---**
*Yeah!*
**[04:41] ---**
*Great!*
**[04:42] ---**
*Perfect!*
**[04:42] ---**
*Okay!*
**[04:44] ---**
*Yes!*
**[04:44] ---**
*Yeah!*
**[04:45] ---**
*Cool!*
**[04:46] ---**
*Yes!*
**[04:47] ---**
*Okay!*
**[04:47] ---**
*Great!*
**[04:48] ---**
*Perfect!*
**[04:50] ---**
PIG
**[04:50] ---**
*Okay!*
**[04:51] ---**
*Yes!*
**[04:52] ---**
*Yeah!*
**[04:53] ---**
*Cool! Okay!*
**[04:54] ---**
*Great! Perfect!*
**[04:55] ---**
*Okay! Yes!*
**[04:57] ---**
*Yeah!*
**[04:58] ---**
*Okay!*
**[04:58] ---**
*Cool!*
**[04:59] ---**
*Great!*
**[05:00] ---**
*Okay!*
**[05:00] ---**
*Yes! Yeah!*
**[05:01] ---**
*Okay! Cool!*
**[05:03] ---**
*Yes!*
**[05:03] ---**
*Yeah! Okay!*
**[05:05] ---**
*Great!*
**[05:06] ---**
*Perfect!*
**[05:19] ---**
You Must Not Fall in Love
with Your Oshi
**[05:23] ---**
Hey, pig!
**[05:24] ---**
That was incredible!
**[05:26] ---**
Look at the crowd you brought in!
**[05:29] ---**
*It's all well and good that he's happy...*
**[05:31] ---**
*but I just know I twisted it when I fell!*
**[05:34] ---**
*Um...*
**[05:35] ---**
*Your injury... Are you okay?*
**[05:37] ---**
*Jess!*
**[05:38] ---**
*Sure!*
**[05:39] ---**
*I made a soft landing!*
**[05:40] ---**
*No sweat!*
**[05:41] ---**
Ah, Jess...
**[05:43] ---**
It's late.
**[05:44] ---**
You can head home now.
**[05:46] ---**
Go on now.
**[05:47] ---**
But...
**[05:48] ---**
I think it's really going to get busy now.
**[05:51] ---**
That's true, but I couldn't let myself
impose on House Kiltyrin any longer.
**[05:56] ---**
Don't worry...
**[05:57] ---**
my young guys will take it from here!
**[06:00] ---**
But...
**[06:01] ---**
*Jess...*
**[06:03] ---**
*Just go home like the old guy says.*
**[06:05] ---**
*I'll be just fine!*
**[06:07] ---**
*If you stay any longer, they'll start
suspecting you after I've escaped!*
**[06:11] ---**
*That's one thing I want to avoid!*
**[06:13] ---**
*So go on please!*
**[06:15] ---**
*You're really going to be fine?*
**[06:18] ---**
*Sure! You can count on me!*
**[06:19] ---**
*Very well.*
**[06:21] ---**
*Then, I'll be waiting for you
tomorrow morning under that tree.*
**[06:24] ---**
*Right.*
**[06:27] ---**
All right, then...
**[06:28] ---**
thank you for everything until now!
**[06:31] ---**
Well, you take care of yourself.
**[06:43] ---**
I'm leaving the shop to you guys!
**[06:45] ---**
Yes, sir!
**[06:48] ---**
*I was full of bravado just now
for Jess's sake...*
**[06:51] ---**
*but worst case,
this pain could mean a fracture.*
**[06:53] ---**
*Will I be able to make my escape on this leg?*
**[06:56] ---**
Hey, piggie!
**[06:58] ---**
Do something, will ya?
**[07:01] ---**
*This is no time to whine! Right now...*
**[07:04] ---**
*I've got to get everything in order!*
**[07:23] ---**
Hey, youngster...
**[07:24] ---**
Could you take that collar off?
**[07:27] ---**
*Aha!*
**[07:29] ---**
For 10 golts a bottle, sure!
**[07:31] ---**
All right, you've got it.
**[07:34] ---**
Thank you for your business!
**[07:35] ---**
Hey!
**[07:36] ---**
Yo!
**[07:38] ---**
There you go!
**[07:40] ---**
*Just like I drew it up.*
**[07:44] ---**
*The physical barrier has been cleared.*
**[07:47] ---**
*Now all that's left is the human barrier.*
**[08:00] ---**
Oink, oink.
**[08:02] ---**
Huh? What's this?
**[08:03] ---**
You want me to dance, too?
**[08:05] ---**
Oink.
**[08:09] ---**
All right!
**[08:19] ---**
If you want to dance with the pig,
please buy a bottle!
**[08:22] ---**
Gotcha!
**[08:24] ---**
I'll take it!
**[08:25] ---**
Thanks!
**[08:28] ---**
*All right!*
**[08:29] ---**
*That's it.*
**[08:31] ---**
*Drink more liquor!*
**[08:33] ---**
*Keep getting drunker and drunker!*
**[08:52] ---**
*I made my escape, all right.*
**[08:54] ---**
*Now I just have to head to that spot.*
**[08:57] ---**
*But...*
**[08:58] ---**
*if Jess finds out about this injury...*
**[09:00] ---**
*she might end up using
that black rista again.*
**[09:03] ---**
*Huh?*
**[09:10] ---**
*I guess I'll draw less attention
going this way.*
**[09:20] ---**
You messed up, so you clean it up yourself.
**[09:21] ---**
*Huh?*
**[09:22] ---**
Sorry, man.
**[09:23] ---**
But there's nothing I can do!
**[09:24] ---**
All you had to do
was make it look like an accident!
**[09:27] ---**
You don't get it!
**[09:28] ---**
The pig she had with her
suddenly made a run for it...
**[09:30] ---**
and they were gone just like that!
**[09:32] ---**
*That voice... It's the rista dealer
from this afternoon.*
**[09:35] ---**
*Is he talking about me?*
**[09:37] ---**
*Who's the other guy?*
**[09:38] ---**
Then, kill her!
**[09:40] ---**
Huh?
**[09:41] ---**
You know where the mansion is, right?
**[09:44] ---**
Just tail her and then off her.
**[09:45] ---**
Hold up a second!
I'm really sorry about this, okay?
**[09:48] ---**
That's way too harsh! If I'm caught killing
a House Kiltyrin Yethma, I'll be done for!
**[09:53] ---**
You only have yourself to blame.
**[09:54] ---**
If you don't want to do it yourself,
**[09:56] ---**
get a Yethma hunter
from the provinces to do it for you.
**[09:58] ---**
No way would a hired Yethma hunter
do that for me!
**[10:02] ---**
Offer him big money.
**[10:03] ---**
Like I have those kinds of funds.
**[10:06] ---**
Listen up!
**[10:08] ---**
Either you kill the Yethma
or you die yourself.
**[10:12] ---**
You make sure you bring me
the corpse of that Yethma by tomorrow night.
**[10:16] ---**
Or else...
**[10:17] ---**
I'll kill you along with her.
**[10:30] ---**
Damn!
**[10:31] ---**
I just gotta do it, right?
**[10:33] ---**
*Huh? Whoa, whoa, whoa!*
**[10:35] ---**
*Why are they talking
about killing Jess now?*
**[10:37] ---**
*Just hold up a second!
I need time to think!*
**[10:39] ---**
*Is that guy heading over to where Jess is?*
**[10:41] ---**
*I have to stop him
whatever it takes! Right?*
**[10:44] ---**
*But what can I do?*
**[10:45] ---**
*A farm animal reduced to trembling...*
**[10:47] ---**
*What on earth can I do?*
**[10:49] ---**
*Actually, why can't I move my legs?*
**[10:51] ---**
*Dammit, dammit, dammit,
dammit, dammit, dammit!*
**[10:54] ---**
*No, calm down, me!*
**[10:56] ---**
*How can you stand here frozen with fear,*
**[10:57] ---**
*allowing the pure young girl
who awaits me to end up being killed?*
**[11:06] ---**
*Okay, I'm going to follow that guy!*
**[11:09] ---**
*Come up with a plan
while you're watching his moves!*
**[11:11] ---**
*Where'd he go?*
**[11:14] ---**
*That's right! I'm a pig!*
**[11:16] ---**
*I have a wider field of view than humans!*
**[11:18] ---**
*And on top of that,
if I use my porcine sense of smell...*
**[11:21] ---**
*That unique stench
of a human smoker's breath!*
**[11:23] ---**
*The stale smell of hair
that's never gotten a decent wash!*
**[11:26] ---**
*And above all, that mint-like fragrance!*
**[11:30] ---**
*Found him!*
**[11:31] ---**
*I can still pursue him!*
**[11:33] ---**
*I can't afford to give up!*
**[11:35] ---**
*A pig has his own brand of specialty!*
**[11:39] ---**
*Think, me!*
**[11:41] ---**
*What can you do to protect Jess?*
**[11:43] ---**
*What's in that bag?
The tools of his trade?*
**[11:46] ---**
*With that baggage to haul...*
**[11:47] ---**
*and on that bad leg,
he probably has no agility.*
**[11:50] ---**
*So should I get ahead of him
and make a run for it with Jess?*
**[11:54] ---**
*What are those Yethma hunters
that big guy mentioned?*
**[11:58] ---**
*Even if we escape, can we survive
if they come after us?*
**[12:01] ---**
*How can I make those villains
give up on the idea of killing her?*
**[12:12] ---**
*I don't have much time!*
**[12:13] ---**
*I'll just have to meet up with Jess
before he gets to her!*
**[12:18] ---**
*Dammit!*
**[12:21] ---**
*Run, pig!*
**[12:22] ---**
*I'm going to save Jess!*
**[12:33] ---**
*All right. That guy's not here yet.*
**[12:36] ---**
*Jess! Hey, Jess!*
**[12:38] ---**
*Can you hear me?*
**[12:39] ---**
*Crap, is she asleep?*
**[12:42] ---**
*What should I do?*
**[12:43] ---**
*Don't panic!*
**[12:44] ---**
*Regain your composure and think!*
**[12:46] ---**
*According to those villains,*
**[12:48] ---**
*House Kiltyrin's sway
is as powerful as Jess said it was.*
**[12:51] ---**
*They know where the mansion is,
and yet he said, "Tail her and then off her."*
**[12:55] ---**
*That has to mean that they can't kill her
on the House Kiltyrin grounds!*
**[13:00] ---**
*Which means I can predict
what that guy's going to do!*
**[13:03] ---**
*He's going to keep an eye on the mansion
until Jess comes out...*
**[13:05] ---**
*and ambush her as soon as she emerges!*
**[13:07] ---**
*So, he's going to lie in wait for Jess
outside the mansion, huh?*
**[13:11] ---**
*Jess will be heading
to the farm before sunrise.*
**[13:14] ---**
*The timing couldn't be more perfect for him!*
**[13:17] ---**
*I can't let that happen!*
**[13:20] ---**
*Isn't there some way
I can tell her what's going on?*
**[13:26] ---**
*I have zero experience, so I have no clue...*
**[13:29] ---**
*but at times like these,
how early would a girl typically show up?*
**[13:34] ---**
*A girl like Jess just might...*
**[13:39] ---**
*Reaching out a helping hand to me
when I was covered in mud...*
**[13:41] ---**
*Using a black rista no less.*
**[13:44] ---**
*With no regard for the consequences...*
**[13:46] ---**
*Where can I ever find
someone so kind in my life?*
**[13:49] ---**
*Nope!*
**[13:50] ---**
*I mean, I can't!*
**[13:52] ---**
*Otaku always fall in love so easily!*
**[13:54] ---**
*I can't let my thoughts go there now!*
**[14:23] ---**
*Hey!*
**[14:24] ---**
*It's still the middle of the night!*
**[14:26] ---**
*You didn't come here this early
to wait for me, did you?*
**[14:32] ---**
*It looks painful.
Those are the hands of a hard worker.*
**[14:35] ---**
*Killing a child like this...*
**[14:37] ---**
*That can't be anything a human would do!*
**[14:39] ---**
*I won't let Jess get hurt
just so that man can keep himself safe!*
**[14:43] ---**
*If he so much as lays a finger on her,
I'll rip his whole arm off with my teeth!*
**[14:49] ---**
*Jess...*
**[14:50] ---**
*Wake up!*
**[14:52] ---**
*Hey, Jess!*
**[14:56] ---**
*She's awake! Whoa!*
**[14:58] ---**
I was...
**[15:00] ---**
so worried about you!
**[15:07] ---**
*Jess, listen to me.*
**[15:09] ---**
*The man who was selling ristae
this afternoon in that back alley...*
**[15:12] ---**
*is on his way to kill you,
and he's getting close!*
**[15:15] ---**
*If I'm guessing right,
it's to silence you.*
**[15:18] ---**
*They're into some shady business.*
**[15:21] ---**
*And if House Kiltyrin, their masters,
find out about it, it'll be all over for them.*
**[15:24] ---**
But...
**[15:25] ---**
But I would never tell!
**[15:27] ---**
*I'm sure you wouldn't,
but that doesn't matter to villains like them!*
**[15:31] ---**
What should I do?
**[15:32] ---**
If I get killed...
**[15:34] ---**
you might never get
your human form back, Mister Pig.
**[15:37] ---**
*How can you worry about me right now?*
**[15:42] ---**
*Anyway, let's put our heads together
and figure this out!*
**[15:45] ---**
In that case, why don't we
just run off together now?
**[15:49] ---**
*That wouldn't solve anything, would it?*
**[15:52] ---**
*For one thing, they may pursue us...*
**[15:54] ---**
*and for another, they might attack you
when you come back here!*
**[15:58] ---**
*I think the best thing to do...*
**[16:00] ---**
*would be to tell House Kiltyrin about
his dastardly deeds and have them arrest him!*
**[16:04] ---**
But... I wonder if they'd go
that far just for me.
**[16:09] ---**
*Haven't you served them here
for a long time?*
**[16:12] ---**
Yes.
**[16:13] ---**
But I'm a Yethma.
**[16:16] ---**
In terms of rank...
**[16:18] ---**
House Kiltyrin and I
couldn't be further apart.
**[16:20] ---**
I don't see them lending an ear
to anything I might say.
**[16:25] ---**
*But if something were to happen to you,
it wouldn't be good for House Kiltyrin, either, right?*
**[16:28] ---**
*You're still in your peak working years.*
**[16:31] ---**
Um...
**[16:32] ---**
*What's wrong?*
**[16:34] ---**
I'm sorry.
**[16:35] ---**
The truth is, I'm not going back
to the mansion.
**[16:39] ---**
*I was starting to get that feeling...
but it's true, then.*
**[16:43] ---**
*All right.*
**[16:44] ---**
*You can tell me the reason another time.*
**[16:46] ---**
*For now, let's figure out
what we're going to do.*
**[16:50] ---**
*Isn't there some way to create a situation
that would force House Kiltyrin to take action?*
**[16:56] ---**
*Jess, is there any kind of facility on this farm
where we could lock someone up?*
**[17:00] ---**
Let's see.
**[17:02] ---**
There's a warehouse for masonry.
**[17:04] ---**
If we lock it from the outside...
**[17:06] ---**
he couldn't get out.
**[17:08] ---**
*Can you get hold of the key?*
**[17:10] ---**
Yes.
**[17:11] ---**
It's right inside the kitchen door,
so I think I should be fine.
**[17:15] ---**
*I see.*
**[17:16] ---**
*So, you'll have to make sure you don't get caught
while you're retrieving that key.*
**[17:21] ---**
*Tell me, Jess.*
**[17:22] ---**
*Even if you're just a servant...*
**[17:23] ---**
*you can at least leave the people
of House Kiltyrin a note, right?*
**[17:27] ---**
Yes. That wouldn't be a problem.
**[17:29] ---**
*Okay. Then, let me tell you about our plan.*
**[17:37] ---**
*He's targeting you, not me, Jess.*
**[17:39] ---**
*Worst-case scenario,
you run off by yourself.*
**[17:43] ---**
*Never mind!*
**[17:44] ---**
*As long as I don't mess up,
we'll be fine!*
**[18:20] ---**
*All right. If he sees
that I'm leading him toward a campfire...*
**[18:23] ---**
*he'll think that Jess might be there.*
**[18:30] ---**
*There you go.*
**[18:31] ---**
*Just stay right there by the fire.*
**[18:33] ---**
*That will close your pupils...*
**[18:36] ---**
*and the visual pigment
in your rod cells will be depleted.*
**[18:38] ---**
*That's light adaptation.*
**[18:41] ---**
*Jess, we're good! Do it now!*
**[18:43] ---**
*Okay!*
**[18:45] ---**
*It takes time for humans
to get used to seeing in the dark!*
**[18:48] ---**
*You shouldn't be able to spot Jess
with your vision in its current state!*
**[18:53] ---**
*Mister Pig!*
**[18:54] ---**
*All right!*
**[19:10] ---**
*Are you ready, Jess?*
**[19:12] ---**
*Yes. I'm hiding behind the warehouse.*
**[19:14] ---**
*All right! Then let's do it!*
**[19:24] ---**
*So far, it's all going according to plan.*
**[19:29] ---**
*Oh, crap!*
**[19:30] ---**
*Even with that bad leg, there's a good chance
that he could escape from that window!*
**[19:33] ---**
*So, it's not enough
to just lock him in from the outside?*
**[19:37] ---**
*In that case...*
**[19:38] ---**
*can I make it without messing up?*
**[19:40] ---**
*No, I'm not onstage
before an audience this time!*
**[19:43] ---**
*We nerds shine where no one can see us!*
**[19:49] ---**
*I'm going to protect Jess!*
**[19:51] ---**
*It's time for me to pay her back!*
**[19:56] ---**
*Huh?*
**[19:58] ---**
*Go!*
**[20:02] ---**
*How's that?*
**[20:03] ---**
*Pig skulls are hard!*
**[20:05] ---**
What's up with you?
**[20:07] ---**
*Oh, crap! So he can still move
his left leg, huh?*
**[20:10] ---**
*Then, let me inflict another blow on him!*
**[20:12] ---**
You little... Damn you!
**[20:15] ---**
You...
**[20:19] ---**
*Take this!*
**[20:21] ---**
Ow!
**[20:23] ---**
*Okay!*
**[20:23] ---**
*Now he's immobilized!*
**[20:27] ---**
*Jess! Now's your chance!*
**[20:28] ---**
*Close this door!*
**[20:30] ---**
*Right!*
**[20:34] ---**
*Good job!*
**[20:35] ---**
*You're safe now!*
**[20:37] ---**
Thank good—
**[20:40] ---**
*Jess...*
**[20:43] ---**
Mister Pig!
**[20:45] ---**
*So I got stabbed, huh?*
**[20:48] ---**
*But thanks to this pain,
I now know without a doubt...*
**[20:50] ---**
*that this world is no dream.*
**[20:53] ---**
*I've really been reincarnated into an isekai.*
**[20:57] ---**
*Am I...*
**[20:59] ---**
*going to die?*
**[21:00] ---**
Don't do it!
**[21:01] ---**
Mister Pig!
I don't want you to die!
**[21:04] ---**
*Jess...*
**[21:05] ---**
*It was only for a short time...*
**[21:07] ---**
*but it was fun.*
**[21:08] ---**
Don't say that!
**[21:09] ---**
Aren't you coming
with me to the royal capital?
**[21:12] ---**
*Just forget about me.*
**[21:14] ---**
*All you have to do
is take care of what you need to do.*
**[21:18] ---**
*Don't you worry about me.*
**[21:21] ---**
That's not it!
**[21:23] ---**
That's not what I'm really talking about!
**[21:27] ---**
Um...
**[21:28] ---**
I still haven't even let you
see me naked, Mister Pig!
**[21:31] ---**
You're the one who told me...
**[21:35] ---**
to save it for just the right time!
**[21:37] ---**
*Just the scrawny four-eyed virgin
talking nonsense.*
**[21:40] ---**
*Forget about it.*
**[21:41] ---**
But, no...
**[21:48] ---**
*I'm sleepy.*
**[21:50] ---**
*The blood loss must be hindering
the flow of oxygen to my brain.*
**[21:54] ---**
*Compared to dying of food poisoning...*
**[21:57] ---**
*what greater bliss could there be than having
a beautiful young girl at my deathbed?*
**[22:02] ---**
*Nice to meet you, too, Mister Pig!*
**[22:05] ---**
*If you do it again...*
**[22:06] ---**
*then I'm going to bully you, Mister Pig!*
**[22:09] ---**
*If you keep calling me
a "beauty" or an "angel"...*
**[22:12] ---**
*I'm going to have to spank you, Mister Pig!*
**[22:14] ---**
*I would be happy to go with you.*
**[22:17] ---**
*Perhaps this is fate?*
**[22:26] ---**
Please...
**[22:28] ---**
Please don't leave me alone!