1 - The Unmotivated Bastard
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:14] (Flashback) Glenn
"'What are you?
[00:15] (Flashback) Glenn
What drives you to such lengths?
[00:18] (Flashback) Glenn
I cannot fathom you.'
[00:22] (Flashback) Glenn
Then, the mage answered,
[00:25] (Flashback) Glenn
'That's simple, Demon Lord.
[00:26] (Flashback) Glenn
There are things I want to protect.
Things I must protect.
[00:30] (Flashback) Glenn
Those thoughts cause infinite
power to rise from my depths.
[00:36] (Flashback) Glenn
They enable me to rise again countless times.
[00:39] (Flashback) Glenn
Now, prepare yourself, Demon Lord.
[00:41] (Flashback) Glenn
I shall defeat you.
[00:43] (Flashback) Glenn
And thus, I shall protect everyone.'
[00:48] (Flashback) Glenn
The Demon Lord screamed as he perished
under the mage's holy lightning.
[00:54] (Flashback) Glenn
Their long battle had finally come to an end."
[01:24] Glenn
I wanted to be a mage of justice.
[01:47] Sistine
This is the city of Fejite, located in
the southern region of the Alzano Empire.
[01:53] Sistine
This town was born and developed alongside
the Alzano Imperial Magic Academy.
[02:23] Rumia
Are you all right?
[02:26] Rumia
May I?
[02:31] Rumia
The angels' blessings be with you.
[02:39] Rumia
The reason the Alzano Empire is
known as a major magical power
[02:44] Rumia
is the Alzano Imperial Magic Academy,
[02:46] ---
established over 400 years
after the Empire's founding.
[02:52] Man
Oh! That's a student of the academy
for you. Quite impressive.
[02:58] Rumia
Using magic outside the academy
is actually forbidden,
[03:02] ---
so please keep this a secret.
[03:03] Man
Of course. Thank you.
[03:06] Sistine
Rumia!
[03:14] Rumia
Well, good day to you.
[03:16] Man
Good luck in your magic studies.
[03:19] Rumia
Thanks.
[03:26] Sistine
The academy not only boasts a proud history,
[03:30] ---
but is also hailed as the most
prominent of schools,
[03:32] ---
where students can learn
the most advanced magic.
[03:36] Sistine
Furthermore, all famous magic users
are graduates of this academy.
[03:42] Sistine
Jeez, Rumia, I told you to go on ahead.
[03:46] Rumia
Huh?
[03:47] Rumia
I'm just a lowly freeloader.
[03:49] ---
I could never leave you behind, Lady Sistine.
[03:56] Sistine
Don't even make jokes like that.
[03:59] Sistine
We're family.
[04:04] Rumia
Sorry, Sisti.
[04:07] Sistine
That's right.
[04:11] Rumia
Still, how unusual.
[04:13] Rumia
You rarely forget things.
[04:15] Rumia
Was it because of... that?
[04:17] Sistine
Maybe so.
[04:19] Sistine
Why did Huey-sensei suddenly quit?
[04:22] Rumia
Yeah.
[04:23] Rumia
I heard we have a new substitute
teacher starting today.
[04:28] Sistine
I know.
[04:30] Sistine
I hope it's someone as
passionate as Huey-sensei.
[04:35] Glenn
Hey, out of the way! You brats!
[04:41] Sistine
Pay heed, great wind!
[04:57] Rumia
Think we went too far?
[04:59] Sistine
Y-Yeah. I just...
[05:02] Sistine
What do we do?
[05:14] Glenn
Are you okay, young ladies?
[05:25] Celica
He's late.
[05:27] Glenn
Are you hurt?
[05:28] Sistine
No. Are you all right?
[05:31] Glenn
It's dangerous to walk into traffic,
so you should be careful.
[05:34] Sistine
You're the one that suddenly
came charging through...
[05:37] Rumia
Don't. Remember, you suddenly
hit him with magic, too.
[05:42] Rumia
Go on, say you're sorry.
[05:44] Sistine
I'm sorry.
[05:45] Rumia
We're very sorry.
[05:47] Rumia
Allow me to apologize, too.
[05:50] Glenn
Oh, well, then...
[05:52] Both
Huh?
[05:52] Glenn
It's clear that I wasn't at fault in the least,
[05:55] ---
and all the blame rests
solely with you two, but...
[05:59] Glenn
If you're willing to go that far,
I can make an exception and forgive you.
[06:17] Glenn
Wait, have you and I...
[06:20] Sistine
Hey!
[06:21] Sistine
What do you think you're doing?!
[06:26] Sistine
I can't believe he'd touch
a woman without permission!
[06:29] Sistine
Scum!
[06:31] Hurley
He's scum!
[06:32] Hurley
I can't believe he's late on his first day!
[06:34] Hurley
This is why I opposed this!
[06:36] Hurley
Even if it's only temporary,
I can't believe we'd grant
[06:38] ---
some man of unknown origins a
teaching position at this academy!
[06:42] Rick
But Halley-kun, he came recommended
by Professor Celica Arfonia.
[06:48] Sistine
What's going on?
[06:49] Sistine
The period's more than halfway over.
[06:52] Rumia
Could something have happened to him?
[06:54] Wendy
A student would be one thing,
[06:55] ---
but a teacher at this academy
being late is unheard of.
[07:00] Kash
Well, in some sense, he must be a big shot.
[07:02] Geevil
More like a big bastard.
[07:06] Sistine
I'm going to go complain
on behalf of the students.
[07:10] Glenn
Oh, sorry, sorry. I'm late.
[07:13] Sistine
You finally showed up!
[07:14] Sistine
Are you aware that you're a teacher at this...
[07:19] Glenn
No, you've got the wrong person.
[07:21] Sistine
There's no way I'm mistaken!
[07:22] Glenn
No, you are.
[07:24] Sistine
That's not—
[07:25] Glenn
Uh, I'm Glenn Radars, the substitute
teacher who'll be in charge of this class.
[07:32] Glenn
I'll be helping you all with
your studies for the next month.
[07:37] Glenn
Uh, my special skills and hobbies are...
[07:39] Sistine
Enough with the introductions!
Could you please hurry up and start class?
[07:43] Glenn
Oh, well, I suppose so.
[07:47] Glenn
That is my job.
[07:48] Rick
Surely you have no complaints if he has
a recommendation from a professor?
[07:51] Hurley
No, even so!
[07:53] Rick
His magic capacity and
memory are both average.
[07:55] Rick
He's equally average in his
aptitude for all magic schools.
[07:58] Rick
And as a mage, his classification is only Trede.
[08:01] Hurley
Huh?
[08:02] Hurley
A mere third-rate Trede is teaching here?
[08:05] Hurley
The minimum at this school is Quatrede,
[08:07] ---
and we even have Quinde and Sede ranks!
[08:09] Hurley
Outrageous!
[08:11] Hurley
Is he even capable of teaching
our school's talented students?
[08:15] Hurley
Surely he wouldn't declare a
self-study period and sip tea!
SIGN Self-Study
SIGN So today's class will be a self-study period.
SIGN 'Cause I'm tired.
[08:40] Sistine
Hold it right there!
[08:42] Rick
Oh, and he doesn't have a teaching license.
[08:45] ---
What?!
[08:46] Rick
Well, he still comes
recommended by a professor.
[08:50] Hurley
Impossible!
[08:52] Rick
He's talented, you know.
[08:54] Rick
He was admitted to our academy at age 11.
[08:56] Rick
Yet it also says he left the academy at age 15.
[09:00] Hurley
Where did he advance to?
[09:01] Rick
The four years after that are unknown.
[09:03] Hurley
Wouldn't that mean he's just wasted
all that time doing nothing?!
[09:07] Hurley
So he's a foolish mage that can't be trusted?!
[09:11] Rick
I'm not so sure about that.
[09:13] Hurley
Headmaster Rick!
[09:14] Hurley
Are you trusting that witch?!
[09:16] Celica
Witch, huh?
[09:19] Celica
Listen to you talk.
[09:22] Rick
Oh, Celica-kun.
[09:23] Hurley
Wh-When did you...
[09:25] Celica
Who knows?
[09:28] Celica
More importantly...
[09:30] Celica
You can speak ill of me as much as you like,
[09:33] ---
but I won't allow you to speak
ill of him in front of me.
[09:37] Celica
Take it back.
[09:42] Hurley
Pardon me!
[09:45] Celica
I finally managed to send him off to class.
[09:49] Rick
I see.
[09:51] Celica
I truly am sorry about this.
[09:55] Rick
We've thrust a mage with no
achievements into a teaching role.
[09:59] Rick
Halley-kun's reaction is only natural.
[10:03] Celica
I'll take responsibility.
[10:05] Celica
I'll take full responsibility for everything
he does and achieves at this academy.
[10:09] Rick
You'd go that far?
[10:11] Rick
May I ask what he means to you?
[10:17] Rick
It's not a happy story
or a unique connection.
[10:21] ---
I just...
[10:23] Rick
want him to live a full life.
[10:28] Glenn
Ow...
[10:29] Class
I've never seen someone so lifeless before.
[10:35] Sistine
His writing's so bad, I can't read it.
[10:37] Rumia
Y-Yeah.
[10:38] Wendy
Even after taking Sistine's iron fist of rage,
[10:41] ---
he still isn't serious about teaching class.
[10:45] Glenn
So it's probably something about like this.
[10:49] Sistine
He's incoherent.
[10:50] Rumia
Y-You think so?
[10:55] Class
His eyes are dead.
[10:57] Rin
Um, I have a question.
[10:59] Glenn
What?
[11:01] Rin
Uh, about the runic spells
you just introduced...
[11:05] Rin
I don't understand how to translate
them into our standard language.
[11:09] Glenn
Oh...
[11:17] Glenn
I don't know, either.
[11:18] Rin
Huh?
[11:20] Glenn
Sorry, look it up yourself.
[11:23] Sistine
Hold on a moment!
[11:24] Sistine
Do you really think that response you
gave to Lynn's question befits a teacher?
[11:30] Glenn
Like I said, I don't know it, either.
[11:33] Sistine
If you can't answer a student's question,
then I think it's your job as a teacher
[11:37] ---
to look it up and have an answer
for her by our next class!
[11:41] Glenn
Then wouldn't it be faster
for her to look it up herself?
[11:44] Sistine
That's not the issue here!
[11:46] Rumia
Sisti!
[11:48] Glenn
Oh, wait.
[11:50] Glenn
Are you saying you haven't been
taught how to use a dictionary?
[11:53] Glenn
In that case, you ca— Oh.
[11:56] Glenn
Well, that's it for today!
[11:58] Sistine
Hold on a moment!
[12:05] Sistine
Huh?!
[12:07] Geevil
He's a real bastard.
[12:12] Sistine
What's with him?!
[12:13] Sistine
He's too unmotivated!
[12:16] Rumia
Now, now.
[12:18] Sistine
He's supervising our next alchemy lab, right?
[12:22] Rumia
Yeah.
[12:23] Sistine
He's gonna give me ulcers.
[12:26] Rumia
Are you all right, Sisti?
[12:28] Sistine
I think I need healing.
[12:38] Sistine
Ah, Rumia, your body feels so nice.
[12:42] Sistine
Your skin's so pale, pretty, and smooth...
[12:45] Rumia
Hey, Sisti, stop!
[12:48] Rumia
Sisti, ah, no!
[12:52] Sistine
You're developing rather steadily.
[12:55] Sistine
Why aren't any nutrients going to mine?
[12:58] Sistine
Huh?
[12:59] Sistine
This didn't heal me at all.
I'm just sadder now.
[13:02] Glenn
Ah, what a pain!
[13:03] Glenn
Sheesh, why is it even necessary
to change for an alchemy—
[13:07] Glenn
Huh?
[13:11] Sistine
Hey!
[13:12] Glenn
Okay, wait!
[13:13] Glenn
There's something I'd like to say about this
commonplace, clichéd turn of events.
[13:18] Glenn
Why should a man panic and avert his eyes,
[13:20] ---
or try to keep his hands to himself?
[13:22] Glenn
Getting beaten up over a mere
glimpse of a nude woman
[13:26] ---
is an unfair trade that's not worth it.
[13:28] Glenn
Just think about it.
[13:30] Glenn
So I'll burn this sight into my eyes!
[13:48] Sistine
I can't believe even our
alchemy lab was canceled.
[13:54] Sistine
I want to actually study.
[13:58] Rumia
While I understand how you feel,
studious Sisti, let's enjoy our lunch.
[14:03] Sistine
Right, but...
[14:06] Rumia
Your promise to your grandfather?
[14:08] Sistine
To unravel the mystery
of Melgalius's Sky Castle.
[14:12] Sistine
There's still a lot about magic I need
to learn before I can do that.
[14:18] Glenn
Excuse me.
[14:21] Sistine
You!
[14:24] Glenn
So good!
[14:30] Rumia
Um, Sensei, you're really eating a lot.
[14:34] Rumia
Do you like eating?
[14:35] Glenn
Yeah. Food's one of my few pleasures.
[14:41] Rumia
Oh, that stir-fry looks delicious.
[14:44] Glenn
Oh, you can tell?
[14:45] Glenn
Kilua beans are in season right now.
[14:48] Rumia
They are?
[14:49] Rumia
I'll have to try some next time.
[14:51] Glenn
Would you like some of mine now?
[14:53] Rumia
Huh? Are you sure?
[15:00] Rumia
They're good!
[15:01] Glenn
Right?
[15:03] Glenn
By the way, you there.
[15:06] Glenn
Is that enough for you?
[15:07] Sistine
I don't see what right you have
to complain about what I eat.
[15:12] Glenn
You won't grow if you don't eat.
[15:13] Sistine
That's none of your business.
[15:15] Sistine
I just don't eat much so I won't be
sleepy during afternoon classes.
[15:20] Sistine
Though, we have your class again after this,
[15:23] ---
so I guess it wouldn't hurt if I ate a bit more.
[15:29] Glenn
That's circuitous.
[15:30] Glenn
If you have something to say,
just come out and say it.
[15:36] Sistine
Very well.
[15:38] Sistine
Then I shall take this
opportunity to speak plainly.
[15:40] Sistine
I—
[15:43] Glenn
I get it.
[15:45] Glenn
You wanted to try some too, right?
[15:47] Glenn
You glutton.
[15:52] Sistine
I did not!
[15:53] Sistine
What I wanted to say was—
[15:54] Glenn
Now give me some of yours in return.
[15:56] Sistine
What do you think you're doing?!
[15:58] Sistine
Cut this out already!
[16:00] Rumia
Sisti...
[16:01] Sistine
You dare call yourself a teacher?!
[16:03] Glenn
Yeah, though a temporary one.
[16:10] (Flashback) Glenn
A substitute teacher at the magic academy?
[16:13] (Flashback) Celica
It'll only be until we get a
new one, but would you do it?
[16:16] (Flashback) Glenn
No way.
[16:18] (Flashback) Celica
No way?
[16:19] (Flashback) Celica
Why not, Glenn?
[16:20] (Flashback) Glenn
You know, don't you?
[16:21] (Flashback) Glenn
I'm not qualified to teach anyone.
[16:24] (Flashback) Celica
True, you don't have a teacher's license.
[16:27] (Flashback) Glenn
Stop it.
[16:28] (Flashback) Glenn
Don't force reality on someone
who's trying to act cool.
[16:32] (Flashback) Celica
By the way, you don't
have any right to refuse.
[16:34] (Flashback) Glenn
Oh? Then what if I did say no?
[16:37] (Flashback) Celica
Do you prefer to be struck by lightning?
[16:39] (Flashback) Celica
Or maybe burned in a fire?
[16:41] (Flashback) Celica
I could even freeze you in ice.
[16:47] (Flashback) Glenn
Please support me!
[16:48] (Flashback) Glenn
I don't want to work at all!
[16:51] (Flashback) Celica
Return thyself to the cycle of providence,
the five elements to elements,
[16:54] (Flashback) ---
and sever the links woven
between images and truths.
[17:04] (Flashback) Celica
The next one won't miss.
[17:14] Glenn
Okay, time to start afternoon class.
SIGN Self-Study
[17:17] Kash
Again?
[17:18] Glenn
Okay, second period of the afternoon.
SIGN Self-Study
[17:19] Geevil
Even his handwriting's lazy...
SIGN Se
[17:21] Glenn
Third period.
[17:26] Sistine
I don't really want to say this, but...
[17:29] Glenn
Then you don't have to say it.
[17:31] Sistine
I belong to the noble Fibel family of mages,
[17:34] ---
which has significant
influence with the Academy.
[17:37] Sistine
I could have you fired if
I advised my father as such!
[17:41] Glenn
Huh? Really?!
[17:43] Sistine
I'd really rather not resort to that!
[17:46] Sistine
But if you refuse to correct
your attitude as a teacher...
[17:50] Glenn
Please tell your father I'm counting on him!
[17:53] Sistine
What?!
[17:54] Glenn
Ah, great! Great!
[17:55] Glenn
Now I'll be able to quit!
[17:57] Glenn
I took this job against my will and under
threat, but I knew it wouldn't work!
[18:03] Rumia
Sisti?!
[18:11] Glenn
Ow...
[18:13] Wendy
She's challenged him to a magic duel.
[18:16] Geevil
Now it's getting interesting.
[18:19] Sistine
Can you accept that?
[18:24] Glenn
Are you serious?
[18:27] Sistine
I am serious.
[18:30] Rumia
Sisti! No!
[18:32] Rumia
Hurry up and apologize to him!
[18:34] Rumia
Pick up your glove!
[18:37] Glenn
What is it you want?
[18:39] Sistine
Please correct the bad attitude you've
shown us, and teach class responsibly.
[18:43] Glenn
You haven't forgotten, right?
[18:44] Glenn
If I win, then you'll have
to accept my demand.
[18:48] Sistine
I'm well aware.
[18:50] Glenn
Are you really sure?
[18:52] Kash
What's with him?
[18:54] Cecil
He's probably thinking of something awful.
[18:57] Sistine
Even so, as the next head of the Fibel family,
[19:03] Sistine
I cannot just sit by and
watch someone like you
[19:08] ---
who shows contempt for magic!
[19:24] Glenn
Good grief.
[19:25] Glenn
I can't believe there's an antique still
alive and using these musty old customs.
[19:32] Glenn
Sure.
[19:34] Glenn
I'll accept your duel.
[19:38] Cecil
He accepted?
[19:39] Kash
No way!
[19:41] Theresa
A duel between student and teacher?
[19:43] Wendy
It's unheard of!
[19:44] Geevil
This is too entertaining.
[19:54] Glenn
However, even I have my reservations
about injuring a brat like you.
[19:59] Glenn
So the only spell we'll use is Shock Bolt.
[20:01] Glenn
All others will be prohibited.
[20:03] Glenn
That okay?
[20:04] Sistine
The challenged reserves the right
to decide the rules of the duel.
[20:07] Sistine
I have no argument.
[20:09] Cecil
Who do you think will win?
[20:11] Kash
The teacher, of course.
[20:13] Kash
But I think he's underestimating Sistine, too.
[20:16] Wendy
But only Shock Bolt?
[20:18] Theresa
Is he giving her a handicap?
[20:20] Geevil
I'm not so sure.
[20:23] Wendy
What do you mean?
[20:24] Geevil
It's true that Shock Bolt is an all-purpose spell.
[20:27] Geevil
It's one of the rudimentary
basics we learn first.
[20:30] Geevil
It's a defensive spell that uses electricity
to paralyze and disable your opponent.
[20:35] ---
The chant is three lines: "Thunder sprites,
pay heed, and strike with your electric shock."
SIGN Thunder
SIGN Thunder sprites,
SIGN Thunder sprites, pay heed,
SIGN Thunder sprites, pay heed, and
SIGN Thunder sprites, pay heed, and strike
SIGN Thunder sprites, pay heed, and strike with
SIGN Thunder sprites, pay heed, and strike with your
SIGN Thunder sprites, pay heed, and strike with your e
SIGN Thunder sprites, pay heed, and strike with your elec
SIGN Thunder sprites, pay heed, and strike with your electric
SIGN Thunder sprites, pay heed, and strike with your electric shock.
[20:41] Gleevil
But in actual combat,
[20:43] ---
the match is determined by which opponent
can shorten it to one line and chant faster.
[20:48] Rin
Then you think he's confident
in his chanting speed?
[20:51] Geevil
Probably.
[20:52] Wendy
He's still a mage with
Professor Arfonia's backing.
[21:03] Glenn
Hey, hey, I'm not going
to bite you or anything.
[21:07] Glenn
You can practice on me,
so come at me whenever.
[21:12] Sistine
You can't back down, Sistine.
[21:15] Sistine
So long as I am who I am,
I can't allow that man to roam free.
[21:21] Sistine
Even if I'm forced to eat dirt,
[21:24] ---
I will still refuse it!
[21:26] Sistine
That is my pride as a mage!
[21:30] Sistine
Here I go!
[21:34] Sistine
Thunder sprites, shock!
[21:58] Sistine
Huh?
[22:00] Sistine
Huh?
[22:05] Sistine
Did I misunderstand the rules?
[22:07] Glenn
Y-You're not bad.
[22:10] Glenn
Well, whatever. I'll give you the first round.
[22:13] Glenn
Since this is a three-round match.
[22:15] Sistine
Was it?!
[22:15] Glenn
Here I go!
[22:17] Glenn
Round two!
[22:18] Glenn
Thunder sprites, pay heed, and strike with y—
[22:19] Sistine
Thunder sprites, shock!
[22:22] Glenn
O-Oh?
[22:24] Glenn
I never expected you to be this good.
[22:26] Glenn
Maybe I was goofing off too much,
since this was a five-round match.
[22:29] Glenn
My bad, my bad.
[22:30] Sistine
Five?! But you just said three...
[22:33] Sistine
Fine! In that case...
[22:34] Glenn
Wait! Hey, look!
[22:36] Sistine
Huh?
[22:36] Glenn
You fell for it, idiot!
[22:38] Glenn
Thunder—
[22:38] Sistine
Thunder sprites, shock!
[22:43] Sistine
Sensei, can you...
[22:45] Sistine
not chant Shock Bolt in one phrase?
[22:49] Glenn
What are you talking about?!
[22:51] Glenn
For starters, shortening a chant is heresy!
[22:53] Glenn
I'm not saying that because
I can't or anything, either!
[22:57] Class
He can't.
[22:59] Sistine
Anyway, I've won this duel.
[23:02] Sistine
So as I've demanded,
starting tomorrow you'll—
[23:04] Glenn
Huh?
[23:06] Glenn
Did we promise anything?
[23:07] Both
Huh?!
[23:08] Glenn
I don't know what you're talking about.
[23:09] Glenn
More importantly, you're not half bad!
[23:12] Glenn
Today, I'll cut you some slack
and call it a super close call!
[23:19] Rumia
Uh...
[23:21] Glann
It won't be next time, though!
[23:23] Glann
Farewell!
[23:35] [SONG] Title
The Unmotivated Bastard
[23:36] Sistine
I've lost all hope for him.
SIGN illustration: Mikimoto Haruhiko
[23:45] Celica
I heard! You dueled your
own student and lost badly!
[23:49] Glenn
I didn't really lose.
[23:50] Glenn
It was a sneak attack.
[23:51] Glenn
And I wasn't in top form.
[23:53] Celica
How pathetic.
[23:54] Celica
I'm fed up with seeing you like this!
[23:55] Glenn
Can't hear you!
[23:56] Celica
Let's at least do the preview right, okay?
[23:58] Celica
I'll make your favorite baked potatoes.
[24:00] Glenn
Oh, all right, then.
[24:01] ---
Next time on Akashic Records
of Bastard Magical Instructor...
[24:04] ---
Final Episode: "Glenn-sensei's Final Lesson!"
[24:06] Celica
You're lying, right?
[24:07] Glenn
Thank you for watching!
[24:08] Sistine
Don't go ending it on your own!
[24:11] ---
Next time: "Just the Slightest Bit of Motivation."
SIGN Akashic Records of Bastard Magical Instructor
SIGN Next Episode Just the Slightest Bit of Motivation
[24:13] Sistine
Please look forward to it!
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