7 - After-school Mokke / After-school Café

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    After-school Hanako-kun
[00:02] Hanako
    Here we go.
SIGN    After-school Mokke
SIGN    After-school Mokke
[00:17] MC Apparition
    It's that time again!
    3:00 at night, every Thursday!
[00:19] MC Apparition
    In this special broadcast,
[00:21] MC Apparition
    we'll uncover the life and secrets
    of today's hottest apparition: the mokke!
[00:25] MC Apparition
    It's time for After-school Mokke!
[00:28] MC Apparition
    And of course, we have a mokke here
    to join us in the studio!
[00:31] Audience Member A
    Mokke-san!
[00:32] Mokke
    Yup.
[00:32] Audience Member B
    I love you!
[00:34] MC Apparition
    How's life treating you?
[00:35] MC Apparition
    Been eating much candy?
[00:38] Mokke
    Some.
[00:39] Tsuchigomori
    Huh?
[00:39] Audience Member A
    Mokke-san!
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    He's taken over
    a disused night-
    duty room.
[00:42] Yako
    Here I am, you gloomy spider!
    Show me some hospitality!
SIGN    Fox Fire
SIGN    Shredded Squid
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Yako
    Wants to drink
    at home (?)
[00:45] Yako
    What are you watching?
[00:46] MC Apparition
    First up, "Top-secret Mokke," the segment
    where we uncover the mokke's secrets!
[00:48] Tsuchigomori
    Nothing. Just this bizarre show.
SIGN    Top-secret Mokke
[00:51] MC Apparition
    Now, what mystery will we explore today?!
SIGN    Horror
[00:52] Mokke
    There.
SIGN    Candy
    Horror
    Old age
    Prospects
    Romance
    A day in the life
[00:54] MC Apparition
    We have our answer: a day in the life!
[00:56] MC Apparition
    Get ready to discover
    the mokke's daily schedule!
[00:59] Tsuchigomori
    They're mokke. Do they even have schedules?
[01:02] Yako
    Of course not.
[01:03] Mokke
    Hap-py! Hap-py!
[01:05] Yako
    This is about all you can expect.
SIGN    Candy
SIGN    Sleep
SIGN    Host online seminar
SIGN    Wine-and-dine
SIGN    Sauna
SIGN    Theft
SIGN    Work out
SIGN    Remote conference
SIGN    Candy
SIGN    Talk about
    ambitious.
[01:10] Tsuchigomori; Yako
    Talk about ambitious.
[01:11] Hanako
    Yoo-hoo! Let's have some fun!
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Gets bored without
    students around
[01:13] Hanako
    Hm? What are you watching?
[01:15] Tsuchigomori
    I have no idea.
[01:16] Hanako
    Huh?
[01:17] Tsuchigomori
    No, really. I can't explain it.
[01:19] Yako
    What are we watching?
[01:21] MC Apparition
    Here comes a delightful recipe!
[01:23] MC Apparition
    It's "Cooking Mokke"!
SIGN    Cooking Mokke
[01:26] MC Apparition
    Today, we're making mokke juice!
SIGN    Appliances
    
    
    
    Ingredients
SIGN    A mixer
    
    
    
    Milk (as needed)
    
    
    
    Spice (a pinch)
    
    
    
    Grapes (1 bunch)
    
    
    
    Apple (1/2)
    
    
    
    Pear (1/2)
[01:30] Hanako
    Hm? What's this?
SIGN    Mokke (1)
[01:33] Mokke A; B
    Yay! Yay!
[01:34] Mokke A; B
    Heave-ho!
[01:39] Mokke A; B
    All done.
[01:40] Tsuchigomori
    I'm turning this thing off.
[01:41] Hanako
    Wait, Tsuchigomori!
[01:43] Hanako
    I want to see a little more!
[01:44] MC Apparition
    Amazing!
[01:45] MC Apparition
    You won't believe these deals,
    only for viewers like you!
[01:48] Hanako
    Look! It's starting!
SIGN    Mokke-san Shopping
[01:49] MC Apparition
    Time for the latest "Mokke-san Shopping"!
[01:52] MC Apparition
    Do you always want a mokke with you?
[01:56] MC Apparition
    Want to feel their weight?
[01:58] MC Apparition
    We have just the thing to grant your wish!
[02:01] MC Apparition
    This mokke hat is all the rage with the kids!
SIGN    Mokke Hat
    Base price (tax and shipping not included)
[02:05] MC Apparition
    It normally goes for 10,000 yen,
[02:07] MC Apparition
    but now it, and two stickers, can be yours...
[02:09] MC Apparition
    for just 50,000!
[02:10] Audience
    What a steal!
[02:11] Tsuchigomori; Yako
    The price went up?!
[02:12] Tsuchigomori
    It's a mail-order scam.
[02:14] Yako
    No one would want that junk.
[02:16] Hanako
    I need it!
[02:19] Tsuchigomori
    Number Seven-sama?!
[02:20] Yako
    You must be joking.
[02:21] Tsuchigomori
    No, Number Seven-sama.
[02:23] Tsuchigomori
    You don't even have any money, do you?
[02:25] Hanako
    Aww!
[02:26] MC Apparition
    Introducing our trade-in plan!
[02:28] MC Apparition
    We'll take antiques off your hands!
[02:30] Hanako
    Hello? I was just watching your show.
[02:33] Hanako
    Yes, a trade-in.
[02:36] Hanako
    I have an old pipe that—
[02:38] Tsuchigomori
    Number Seven-sama!
[02:39] Hanako
    But I want it.
[02:43] Hanako
    That hat's all the rage with the kids.
[02:45] Tsuchigomori
    Listen to me, Number Seven-sama.
[02:47] Tsuchigomori
    Selling things that don't
    belong to you is wrong.
[02:50] Tsuchigomori
    And 50,000 yen is a lot of money.
[02:53] Tsuchigomori
    Try to think before you act.
[02:56] Tsuchigomori
    Is that hat really worth the price?
[03:00] Tsuchigomori
    Don't let yourself get
    swept up in the moment.
[03:03] Tsuchigomori
    If you let shady TV shows take you for a ride,
    you'll have to live with the consequences.
[03:09] Tsuchigomori
    Do you understand?
[03:11] Hanako
    I get it!
[03:13] Yako
    I'm sure it's just another mokke prank.
[03:15] Yako
    No one would be fool enough to fall for it.
[03:18] Hanako
    That was a great hat, though.
[03:21] Tsuchigomori
    Are you still hung up on that?
[03:23] Nene
    Morning, Hanako-kun! Tsuchigomori-sensei!
[03:26] Tsuchigomori
    Hi.
[03:27] Hanako-kun
    Morning, Yashiro.
[03:28] Hanako
    Listen! Yesterday—
[03:31] Nene
    What's wrong?
[03:32] Hanako
    Yashiro, your hat...
[03:34] Nene
    Oh, this? I ordered it from a TV show!
[03:38] Nene
    Isn't it cute?
[03:39] Hanako
    I wish I had one!
[03:40] Nene
    Wait. When did I buy this, again?
[03:46] MC Apparition
    It's that time again!
SIGN    After-school Mokke
[03:47] MC Apparition
    It's time for After-school Mokke!
[03:51] MC Apparition
    And of course we have a mo...
[03:53] MC Apparition
    First up, "Top-secret Mokke,"
    the segment... ke's secrets!
[03:58] MC Apparition
    ...ful recipe!
[04:00] MC Apparition
    Hug a mokke at Kamome Academy!
SIGN    After-school Café
[04:15] Hanako
    This is the border between
    this life and the next,
[04:19] Hanako
    the place where wandering souls find peace.
[04:22] Hanako
    Welcome...
[04:23] Hanako
    to Café Hanako.
[04:24] Kou
    Uh...
[04:26] Nene
    What are you doing, Hanako-kun?
[04:28] Hanako
    Well, you see,
SIGN    Owner
SIGN    Touring the Boundaries of Brazil
[04:30] Hanako
    the owner left on a long vacation
    and asked me to look after the place.
[04:36] Kou
    Wow.
[04:36] Hanako
    I invited you both here so that you
    could be my very first customers.
[04:41] Nene
    I never knew Boundaries had cafés.
[04:44] Nene
    I like the retro look.
[04:45] Kou
    Can you really run a business?
[04:47] Hanako
    Of course!
[04:48] Hanako
    Mokke, you're up!
[04:49] Mokke A; B
    Yeah!
[04:50] Hanako
    Service!
[04:51] Mokke
    Sit.
[04:52] Kou
    Hey!
[04:52] Hanako
    Drinks!
SIGN    Toilet Mixed Juice
[04:53] Mokke
    Drink!
[04:54] Hanako
    And advertising!
SIGN    Letter of Misfortune
[04:56] Mokke
    Read.
SIGN    Letter of Misfortune
    Give the letter to at least 10 people
    and come to Café Hanako, or die.
[04:56] Kou
    This place is doomed.
[04:58] Hanako
    Well? Perfect, right?
[05:00] Kou
    Are you nuts?
[05:00] Nene
    It's a disaster.
[05:02] Nene
    Oh, you're hopeless.
[05:05] Nene
    We'll lend you a hand.
[05:06] Hanako
    You're totally into this.
[05:07] Nene
    I always wanted to give it a try!
[05:10] Nene
    Please have a seat.
[05:12] Nene
    How was that?
[05:13] Kou
    So cute.
[05:14] Hanako
    I like the frills.
[05:16] Hanako
    But will we actually get any customers?
[05:21] Kou
    Someone's here!
[05:22] Tsuchigomori
    Hey. How's it going?
[05:24] Hanako
    Oh, Tsuchigomori!
[05:25] Nene
    What brings you here?
[05:26] Tsuchigomori
    The owner is an old friend of mine.
[05:29] Tsuchigomori
    I heard Number Seven-sama
    agreed to run the café,
[05:32] Tsuchigomori
    so I came to see if he was doing it justice,
SIGN    Worry 3
SIGN    Worry 2
SIGN    Worry 1
[05:37] Tsuchigomori
    but my worries have only multiplied.
[05:39] Hanako
    What do you mean?
[05:40] Nene
    Sensei, you're our first customer!
[05:42] Kou
    Take it easy, Spider-dude!
[05:44] Tsuchigomori
    Don't call a customer "Spider-dude."
[05:49] Tsuchigomori
    Well, now.
[05:50] Tsuchigomori
    This is shaping up better than I expected.
[05:54] Tsuchigomori
    I'll have a cof—
[05:55] Hanako
    Sir.
[05:56] Tsuchigomori
    Huh?
[05:56] Hanako
    You look exhausted.
[05:59] Hanako
    As if you might start weeping
    any time, just like this sky.
[06:04] Tsuchigomori
    What's gotten into you?
[06:05] Tsuchigomori
    Did you hit your head?
[06:06] Hanako
    Shh!
[06:08] Hanako
    I'm listening to the voices
    of the coffee beans.
[06:12] Nene
    Is that how Hanako-kun
    thinks café owners act?
[06:15] Tsuchigomori
    Forget the voice of the beans
    and listen to your customer's order.
[06:19] Tsuchigomori
    I'd like a coffee.
[06:20] Hanako
    What? A...
[06:22] Kou
    ...coffee?
SIGN    WHISPER WHISPER WHISPER
SIGN    WHISPER WHISPER WHISPER
[06:25] Tsuchigomori
    What?
SIGN    WHISPER WHISPER WHISPER
SIGN    WHISPER WHISPER WHISPER
[06:26] Tsuchigomori
    What? It's the simplest possible order!
[06:30] Hanako
    Huh? Oh, nothing.
[06:33] Hanako
    Right, Yashiro?
[06:34] Nene
    O-Of course. Nothing at all.
[06:36] Nene
    Right, Kou-kun?
[06:37] Kou
    Don't sweat it!
[06:38] Tsuchigomori
    Are you sure you can handle this?
SIGN    Regular Coffee
    Tastes Like This Sky
[06:41] Nene
    Thank you for waiting!
[06:43] Tsuchigomori
    All that whispering got me worried,
    but this doesn't...
[06:50] Tsuchigomori
    Blech! Are you trying to poison me?!
[06:52] Tsuchigomori
    What the hell did you brew?!
[06:54] Hanako; Nene; Kou
    Huh?!
[06:55] Nene
    I didn't do anything weird.
    I used coffee beans and everything.
[06:59] Kou
    I brewed it. The color didn't look right,
    so it might be my fault.
[07:04] Hanako
    Oh, is that why?
[07:06] Hanako
    It looked too light,
    so I added some black stuff.
SIGN    Extreme
SIGN    INK
[07:09] Tsuchigomori
    It's your fault!
[07:11] Tsuchigomori
    Good grief!
[07:12] Hanako
    What are you doing?!
[07:13] Tsuchigomori
    Telling the owner to close the café
    while he's gone, obviously.
[07:17] Hanako; Nene; Kou
    Aww!
[07:18] Nene
    It's over already?
[07:20] Kou
    Well, I guess that's life.
[07:22] Hanako
    Wait!
[07:24] Tsuchigomori
    What did you hang up for?
[07:26] Hanako
    Why? Well, um...
[07:31] Hanako
    I mean... I want to run a café with everyone.
[07:37] Yako
    So,
[07:37] Yako
    you ended up babysitting the lot of them.
[07:41] Tsuchigomori
    That's right.
[07:42] Yako
    How stupid can you be?
[07:44] Tsuchigomori
    Can it!
[07:45] Tsuchigomori
    Hurry up and order.
[07:47] Yako
    You couldn't be a bigger softy if you tried.
[07:49] Hanako
    Thank you so much.
[07:56] Hanako
    I wish we could just...
[07:58] Hanako
    keep having fun like this.
[08:02] Hanako
    Forever.
[08:04] Nene
    Huh? Did you say something?
[08:06] Hanako
    Nope. Not a thing.
[08:08] Nene
    Then... Here!
[08:10] Nene
    Give me a hand!
[08:16] Hanako
    You got it!
SIGN    Illustration: Komura Yukari
    Special effects: Tada Saki