2 - If Only a Miracle Would Happen

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Itsuki
    Hmm...
[00:04] Itsuki
    Hmm...
[00:12] Itsuki
    That's not right.
[00:13] Miyako
    I wanted to study for a test,
    but my school's library was crowded,
[00:17] Miyako
    so I was hoping you'd let
    me use your place to study.
[00:19] Miyako
    I wanted to study for a test,
    but my school's library was crowded,
[00:23] Miyako
    so I was hoping you'd let
    me use your place to study.
[00:27] Miyako
    Okay!
[00:34] Nayuta
    Whatcha doin', Myaa-san?
[00:41] Itsuki
    Go ahead... Onii-chan.
[00:45] Itsuki
    Still not right...
[00:47] Nayuta
    Ah, studying for a test?
    Must be hard being a college student.
[00:52] Miyako
    Well, yeah.
[00:58] Miyako
    Maybe he's not home.
[01:00] Nayuta
    Oh, the door's unlocked.
[01:02] Miyako
    Hey, Nayu!
[01:04] Itsuki
    This is embarrassing, so could
    you turn off the lights?
[01:08] Itsuki
    That's cute, but I really want to
    emphasize how Hilde is feeling here.
[01:11] Itsuki
    I want to wrap my body around you!
[01:13] Itsuki
    No! She needs to be more
    straightforward here!
[01:16] Itsuki
    I love you, Onii-chan!
[01:18] Itsuki
    Smooch...
[01:24] Nayuta
    Itsuki-senpai...
[01:25] Itsuki
    You've got it all wrong, Kanikou!
[01:26] Itsuki
    It's not like I've gone insane or anything...
[01:30] Nayuta
    Oh, don't worry. You were acting
    out a scene in your novel, right?
[01:34] Miyako
    Nayu, did you find Itsuki?
[01:38] Miyako
    Wh-What are you doing, you pervert?!
[01:41] Nayuta
    You've got it all wrong, Myaa-san!
[01:42] Nayuta
    This is something novelists do all the time!
[01:44] Nayuta
    It's very necessary in order to
    paint a convincing picture!
[01:48] Miyako
    I don't know what you're talking about!
[01:50] Itsuki
    Would you two just get out?!
SIGN    A Sister Is All You Need.
[03:29] Itsuki
    Something's just not right...
[03:32] Itsuki
    They're here again?
[03:35] Itsuki
    Will you two give it a...
[03:47] Haruto
    Why are you dressed like that?
[03:49] Itsuki
    It's not what it looks like! It's—
[03:55] Miyako
    I definitely didn't want to see that...
[03:58] Nayuta
    Huh? But aren't you used
    to seeing dks, Myaa-san?
[04:02] Miyako**
    O-Of course I'm not used to it...
[04:05] Nayuta
    Oh, I see.
[04:06] ---
    I thought all girls in college were
    nothing but talking dk eaters.
[04:10] Miyako**
    How judgmental can you be?!
[04:11] Nayuta
    Then are you a virgin, Myaa-san?
[04:14] Miyako
    O-Of course not...
[04:17] Miyako
    I-I had plenty of boyfriends.
[04:21] Nayuta
    You're so mature, Myaa-san.
[04:24] Nayuta
    I want to have sex all the
    time with Senpai, too.
[04:27] Miyako
    All the time? You're making it sound
    like Itsuki and I, well, you know...
[04:32] Miyako
    He's just a classmate of mine.
[04:34] Nayuta
    Oh, right. You two went to the same college.
[04:39] Miyako
    Well, he quit after about six months, but...
[04:42] Nayuta
    What was Senpai like in college?
SIGN    Two Years Ago
[04:54] (Flashback) Miyako
    You look tired.
[04:55] (Flashback) Friend A
    Yeah, I got called in to work at the
    last minute. I barely even slept.
[05:00] (Flashback) Friend B
    Same here. My boyfriend
    wouldn't let me sleep at all.
[05:04] (Flashback) Miyako
    Wouldn't let you...
[05:13] (Flashback) Friend A
    That guy's always off on
    his own, writing something.
[05:16] (Flashback) Friend B
    Hashima-kun, was it?
[05:18] (Flashback) Friend B
    He's sort of creepy.
[05:20] (Flashback) Friend A
    He probably doesn't have any friends.
[05:26] Miyako
    It seemed like he had something
    that was more important
[05:30] ---
    than college lectures,
    fooling around, or work.
[05:33] Miyako
    Something that I didn't have...
[05:38] Miyako
    Itsuki must've been writing his
    novel during all of his breaks
[05:41] ---
    and while taking notes in lectures, too.
[05:45] Miyako
    He went straight home after lectures,
[05:47] ---
    and I never even saw him
    talking to other people.
[05:49] Nayuta
    That sounds just like Senpai.
[05:53] Haruto
    Well, that's pretty awful.
[05:54] Itsuki
    It's no laughing matter.
[05:56] Haruto
    Whoops, sorry.
[05:57] Haruto
    Nayu-chan is one thing, but to have
    Miyako-chan see you completely naked...
[06:01] Haruto
    I feel sorry for her, too.
[06:05] Haruto
    Actually, how'd you become
    friends with her, anyway?
[06:08] Haruto
    At first glance, you two don't
    seem to have anything in common.
[06:12] Itsuki
    Beats me...
[06:19] (Flashback) Miyako
    Say, Hashima-kun. What are you
    always typing on your laptop?
[06:25] (Flashback) Itsuki
    I-I have no idea what you're talking about...
[06:28] (Flashback) Miyako
    Oh, come on. I won't tell anyone.
[06:34] (Flashback) Itsuki
    A novel...
[06:35] (Flashback) Miyako
    A novel? You want to become
    a novelist, Hashima-kun?
[06:39] (Flashback) Itsuki
    It's not that I want to... I already am.
[06:48] (Flashback) Miyako
    So I bought your book
    yesterday and read it...
[06:52] (Flashback) Itsuki
    Y-Yeah?
[06:54] (Flashback) Miyako
    I didn't really understand it.
[06:57] (Flashback) ---
    Why was he able to use magic
    once he kissed his little sister?
[07:01] (Flashback) Itsuki
    Hmph. My book isn't something that
[07:03] (Flashback) ---
    a slutty college student like
    you would ever understand.
[07:06] (Flashback) Miyako
    I-I'm not a slut! I haven't even
    gone out with anyone...
[07:10] (Flashback) Miyako
    Anyway, what kind of person do you
    have to be to understand that, then?
[07:14] (Flashback) Miyako
    No one would be able to
    understand a weird story like that.
[07:17] (Flashback) Itsuki
    Too bad!
[07:19] (Flashback) ---
    The one you read is my second book,
    The Genesister of the New World,
[07:23] (Flashback) Itsuki
    and it's sold around 100,000 copies!
[07:26] (Flashback) Miyako
    Huh? You're kidding!
    That thing sold that many?
[07:28] (Flashback) Itsuki
    How dare you call it
    "that thing," you ignorant slut?!
[07:31] (Flashback) Itsuki
    You had the nerve to say
    you didn't understand
[07:34] (Flashback) Itsuki
    a masterpiece that 100,000
    people did understand.
[07:38] (Flashback) Itsuki
    That's beyond hilarious, to the
    point that I actually pity you.
[07:41] (Flashback) Itsuki
    Being an imbecile isn't shameful or bad,
[07:43] (Flashback) Itsuki
    but to ignore the fact that you are
    an imbecile could be called a crime.
[07:47] (Flashback) Itsuki
    You should just crawl into a hole out
    of embarrassment, you shameless slut!
[07:56] (Flashback) Itsuki
    Wha—
[08:01] (Flashback) Miyako
    Y-You didn't have to be
    so mean... you idiot!
[08:07] (Flashback) Itsuki
    Huh? Uh, wait, um, I...
[08:10] (Flashback) Itsuki
    I... guess there may or may
    not have been a possibility
[08:14] (Flashback) ---
    that I might've said too much...
[08:16] (Flashback) Itsuki
    Someone posted a shitty review
    a lot like that on Amazon recently,
[08:20] (Flashback) ---
    so I got pissed off...
[08:22] (Flashback) Itsuki
    So, um... I'm sor...
[08:27] (Flashback) Itsuki
    A-At least stop crying, you slut!
[08:30] (Flashback) Miyako
    I told you I'm not a slut, and I'm not crying!
[08:34] (Flashback) Itsuki
    Er, yeah, you are...
[08:35] (Flashback) Miyako
    I'm not crying, and I'm not a slut!
[08:37] (Flashback) Itsuki
    Oh, all right, already. You're not
    crying, and you're not a slut.
[08:41] (Flashback) Miyako
    I'm not!
[08:49] (Flashback) Itsuki
    Shit, this sucks...
[08:50] (Flashback) ---
    What if they think I'm some weirdo now?
[08:53] (Flashback) Miyako
    You don't have to worry.
[08:54] (Flashback) Miyako
    Everyone already thinks
    you're a weirdo anyway.
[08:58] Miyako
    Talk about an awful first impression.
[09:01] Miyako
    After that, Itsuki and I started talking.
[09:04] Miyako
    I would borrow books and video games
    from him, and he'd ask me about fashion.
[09:09] Miyako
    But...
SIGN    Itsuki I quit school.
SIGN    Little Sister
[09:19] (Flashback) Miyako
    Huh?!
[09:21] (Flashback) Miyako
    What do you mean, you quit school?!
[09:25] Itsuki
    I just realized that college
    was nothing but a waste of time
[09:29] ---
    for a popular genius Oricon chart
    top-ten author like myself!
[09:33] (Flashback) Miyako
    A waste of time...
[09:37] Miyako
    I can tell Itsuki is saying that
    from the bottom of his heart.
[09:40] Miyako
    That's why he made the decision so quickly...
[09:43] Itsuki
    Hello? Miyako?
[09:45] (Flashback) Miyako
    Oh, really? Fine. Hope you don't get dropped!
SIGN    Little Sister
SIGN    Itsuki
[09:54] (Flashback) Miyako
    I'm never going to leave your side...
[09:58] Nayuta
    Myaa-san.
[09:59] Nayuta
    What's the matter? Myaa-san?
[10:02] Miyako
    Huh?
[10:03] Miyako
    Oh... I was just remembering when
    that idiot suddenly quit school.
[10:08] Nayuta
    I wish I'd gone to school with Senpai, too.
[10:11] Miyako
    You really like Itsuki, don't you?
[10:14] Nayuta
    Yes, I do.
[10:18] Miyako
    Honestly, what do you see in that
    stupid, little-sister-obsessed freak?
[10:22] Nayuta
    Everything. I love everything about him.
[10:28] Miyako
    Well, um...
[10:30] ---
    Do your best.
[10:32] Miyako
    I guess I'll cheer you on.
[10:34] Nayuta
    Thank you very much.
[10:36] Nayuta
    By the way, Myaa-san...
[10:38] Miyako
    Yes?
[10:39] Nayuta
    Will you come to a hotel with me?
[10:44] Miyako
    Huh?
SIGN    (Typically) a writer who makes a living writing and publishing novels. Explaining the definition and various genres of novels will take a very long time, so we'll leave that out. The kind of books that Itsuki and his colleagues write are called light novels, and (typically) are a type of popular literature.
[10:51] Chihiro
    Pardon the intrusion.
[10:53] Haruto
    Hey, Chihiro-kun. I'm visiting again.
[10:56] Chihiro
    Ah, Fuwa-san. Hello.
[11:16] (Flashback) Miyako
    Nice to meet you...
[11:19] (Flashback) Nayuta
    Nice to meet you.
[11:25] Nayuta
    Please, come in.
[11:29] Miyako
    Wow... So this is where you're holed up.
[11:34] Miyako
    Does your publisher pay for your hotel?
[11:36] Nayuta
    Yup. So I'll get in trouble if I don't
    get a bit further in my manuscript.
[11:41] Miyako
    Just "a bit" further?
[11:43] Nayuta
    I'm going to work, so go ahead and
    make yourself at home, Myaa-san.
SIGN    13th GF Bunko Newcomer (Grand Prize!)
[11:47] ---
    Sure...
[11:51] Miyako
    Hey!
[11:52] Miyako
    Why are you stripping?!
[11:55] Nayuta
    I can't work unless I'm completely naked.
[11:58] Miyako
    I-I see...
[12:22] (Flashback) Nayuta
    Do you like Senpai, Shirakawa-san?
[12:25] (Flashback) Miyako
    O-Of course not!
[12:28] (Flashback) Miyako
    He's just a friend.
[12:30] (Flashback) Nayuta
    Just so you know, I do like Senpai.
[12:33] (Flashback) Nayuta
    Senpai is everything to me.
[12:35] (Flashback) Miyako
    What do you see in that stupid,
    little-sister-obsessed freak?
[12:41] (Flashback) Nayuta
    Senpai saved me.
SIGN    Trash
SIGN    Die
[12:58] (Flashback) Nayuta
    And so...
[13:09] (Flashback) Miyako
    Ugh! Why couldn't I have been there for you?!
[13:13] (Flashback) Miyako
    I would've kicked all of their asses!
[13:19] (Flashback) Nayuta
    Meow...
[13:32] Chihiro
    Here you go.
[13:34] Itsuki
    All right. Let's eat.
[13:36] Haruto
    Oh, one sec.
[13:38] Itsuki
    Huh?
[13:39] Haruto
    Throw up a peace sign
    above the fried rice.
[13:41] Itsuki
    Huh? Like this?
[13:47] Haruto
    Got it.
[13:49] Chihiro
    What are you doing?
SIGN    Haruto Fuwa's anime starts in April!
SIGN    Having dinner with my colleague, Itsuki Hashima-kun. We've been seeing each other about three times a week and even talking about getting married.
[13:52] Haruto
    Showing off my ness.
[13:55] Chihiro*
    Your ness?
[13:57] Haruto*
    You know how I've been showing my face
    in magazines and on Niconama lately?
[14:01] Haruto
    If you're good-looking at all,
[14:03] ---
    there are those who get
    the wrong idea and think
[14:05] ---
    you're trying to seduce the
    voice actors on your show,
[14:07] Haruto
    so I'm trying to show that I like hanging
    out with guys more than I do with girls.
[14:12] Haruto
    This way, I'll get more lady fans
    who are into that kind of thing,
[14:15] ---
    so it's killing two birds with one stone.
[14:16] Chihiro
    Oh...
[14:17] Itsuki
    Don't call yourself good-looking.
[14:21] Itsuki
    And wait...
[14:22] ---
    What's gonna happen to my image if
    you're dragging me into your ness?
[14:26] Haruto*
    Become *** with me.
[14:28] Itsuki
    You can't be serious! Why do I have
    to be treated like I'm , too?!
[14:32] Haruto*
    Oh, come on! You might even
    gain a new group of fans.
[14:35] Itsuki
    I don't want them!
[14:37] Itsuki
    It wouldn't make me happy at all if
    my books sold because of how I am!
[14:44] Haruto
    You get so serious about the weirdest stuff.
[14:51] Nayuta
    Myaa-san!
[14:52] Miyako
    Huh? Wh-What?
[14:54] Nayuta
    Let me fondle your boobs.
[14:56] Miyako
    H-Huh?! Why?!
[14:58] Nayuta
    I'm currently writing a scene
    about fondling boobs,
[15:01] Nayuta
    so I'd like to use this as research.
[15:03] Miyako
    You have perfectly good breasts
    of your own that you could use!
[15:06] Nayuta
    The boob size of the character
    currently being fondled
[15:09] ---
    is just about the same as yours, Myaa-san.
[15:11] Miyako
    That still doesn't...
[15:14] Nayuta
    Please! I need to do this to
    paint a vivid, realistic picture!
[15:20] Miyako
    So that really was for work...
[15:31] Miyako
    Here, hurry up and get it over with.
[15:34] Nayuta
    Oh, I need them exposed, if you would.
[15:36] Miyako
    Exposed?! O-Of course
    I'm going to say no to that!
[15:39] Nayuta
    Pretty please?
[15:41] Nayuta
    Myaa-san?
[15:45] Miyako
    Oh, fine! Fondle them exposed, then!
[15:48] Nayuta
    Thank you very much!
[15:55] Miyako
    Okay, I'm taking off my top...
[16:08] Nayuta
    You're taking that off in just
    the right way, Myaa-san.
[16:26] Miyako
    O-Only a little bit, all right?
    Don't be rough with me.
[16:30] Nayuta
    I humbly thank you for this treat.
[16:38] Itsuki
    And I'm telling you the only ones I
    want to flirt with are little sisters!
[16:44] Itsuki
    One day I'm going to create
    the ultimate little sister!
[16:49] Haruto
    Your obsession with little
    sisters sure is something...
[16:51] Haruto
    I actually have a little sister,
    and they aren't that great, to be honest.
[16:57] Haruto
    All she ever does is complain
    about everything I do,
[16:59] Haruto
    plus she's quick to hit me, tells me
    that my books are gross or boring,
[17:04] Haruto
    and tells me that my interviews
    are annoying or gross...
[17:07] Haruto
    It's really depressing.
[17:08] Itsuki
    You fool! Don't compare your little
    sister-shaped filth with my little sister!
[17:13] Haruto
    F-Filth?! She may not be perfect,
    but she's not that bad!
[17:17] Haruto
    I'll have you know that my little
    sister used to be really cute...
[17:20] Haruto
    And not long ago, when I got sick,
    she even bought some gelatin for me.
[17:24] Haruto
    Also, you don't even have a little sister.
[17:28] Itsuki
    No, I do.
[17:29] Haruto
    Huh?
[17:29] Chihiro
    Huh?!
[17:33] Itsuki
    She resides in my heart!
[17:36] Haruto
    R-Right... I see...
[17:41] ---
    Hmm...
[17:42] Nayuta
    I think I got it.
[17:44] Nayuta
    I think I can write a great scene now.
[17:46] Miyako
    I see... That's good.
[17:50] Nayuta
    Now, your butt, please!
[17:52] Miyako
    What?!
[17:55] Itsuki
    Chihiro... water...
[17:57] Haruto
    Chihiro-kun went home a long time ago.
[18:09] Haruto
    Hey, Itsuki...
[18:12] Itsuki
    Nyanpasu...
[18:15] Haruto
    What's your name?
[18:17] Itsuki
    Nyanpasu!
[18:19] Haruto
    And where do you live?
[18:22] Itsuki
    Nyanpasu...
[18:25] Haruto
    Well, then...
SIGN    "A new genius of the little sister novel world
    is born!"
SIGN    Winner of the 10th GF Bunko Newcomer Award
[18:49] Miyako
    Both Itsuki and Nayu are doing their best.
[18:52] Miyako
    And yet, I'm...
[18:56] Nayuta
    That should do it for now.
[19:00] Miyako
    Good work.
[19:01] Nayuta
    Thank you.
[19:03] Nayuta
    Because of you, I was able
    to write a great scene.
[19:06] Miyako
    Uh... You're welcome, I guess...
[19:09] Miyako
    Well, I'm gonna get going.
[19:17] (Flashback) Itsuki
    It wouldn't make me happy at all if
    my books sold because of how I am!
SIGN    Three Years Ago
SIGN    Kasuka Sekigahara (Light novel author) Critique
    
    Honorable Mention: "The Spirit Knight of the Distant Sea" by Haruto Fuwa
    This book lacks personality and makes me feel that it's a piece I've read many
    times before... Actually, I'd probably call it a "product" rather than a "piece."
    
    And to think it's been entered to be considered for the newcomer award...
    You can tell that the author has researched the current trends; what he wrote
    is extremely efficient, and it is written better than similar books out there
    right now. Though it lacks any distinguishing features, it's already at a level
    that it can be published, and it'll probably sell (picking my nose).
SIGN    lacks personality...
SIGN    "product" rather than a "piece."
SIGN    it'll probably sell
SIGN    Honorable Mention: "Sister of the Apocalypse" by Itsuki Hashima
    This piece is so full of personality, and both the characters and
    the way the story develops are insane. A perfect contrast to the other
    honorable mention. It's rough around the edges and there are a lot of
    problems... Honestly, I'm not even sure if we should release this to
    the masses, but it's got some mysterious appeal to it.
    This is definitely something only this author could write, and I'm
    extremely curious to see how he develops as an author from here on.
    I'm probably the only one out of the judges to say this, but I think the
    best thing to come out of this newcomer award is the fact that we found
    this author.
    I now have another author to look forward to in the future.
SIGN    Itsuki Hashima
SIGN    full of personality
SIGN    mysterious appeal
SIGN    author to look forward to in the future.
[19:41] Haruto
    Say whatever you want.
[19:43] Haruto
    While you geniuses stay at a standstill,
[19:47] ---
    I'm going to keep progressing ahead.
[19:52] Haruto
    I'm home.
[19:54] Little sister
    You're late, Onii!
[19:56] Haruto
    Huh?
[19:57] Little sister
    How many times do I have to tell you to
    let me know if you're going to be late?
[20:02] Haruto
    Yeah, I forgot.
[20:05] Little sister
    You never forget to do your creepy tweets.
[20:08] Haruto
    I-I'm just creating a persona...
[20:11] Little sister
    Huh? And who would even want to see that?
[20:14] Haruto
    There are actually a lot of female
    fans who like that kind of thing.
[20:17] Little sister
    Aren't your books marketed
    toward virgin guys?
[20:20] Little sister
    You don't need any more female fans.
[20:22] Haruto
    You idiot. Nowadays, even series
    that are marketed towards guys
[20:25] ---
    need feedback from women...
[20:27] Haruto
    Ow!
[20:28] Little sister
    You're an idiot! Perv! Adult game nerd!
[20:37] Toki
    So how's Kani-sensei's manuscript?
[20:40] Yamagata
    It's perfect, as usual. As her editor,
    there's nothing for me to complain about.
[20:44] Toki
    Must be nice that she doesn't
    cause you any problems.
[20:46] Yamagata
    If only she could figure out what a deadline is.
[20:50] Toki
    How's your out-of-control,
    little-sister-obsessed author?
[20:52] Toki
    Uh... I should actually
    start poking him soon...
[21:04] Itsuki
    What you want, someone else always has.
[21:09] Itsuki
    And usually, it means nothing to
    the person who actually has it.
[21:15] Itsuki
    It's pretty much a miracle
    when you have what you want,
[21:21] Itsuki
    and most comedies and tragedies happen
    due to the absence of that miracle.
[21:27] Itsuki
    That's basically how this whole world works.
SIGN    Episode Two
SIGN    If Only a Miracle Would Happen.
[23:00] Itsuki
    Hello?
[23:01] Toki
    Itsuki? How's the manuscript coming along?
[23:04] Itsuki
    Uh... Yeah, it's coming along just fine.
[23:07] Toki
    You'd better be telling the truth.
[23:08] Itsuki
    Yup.
[23:17] Itsuki
    I want a little sister!
SIGN    Episode Three: As Long As It's Research.
SIGN    [Moteneba] An uncommon game where you see how popular you can be among girls in your three years of high school. Those who win might be dubbed Prince Manwhre. Be careful not to get too emotional and get into fights!
SIGN    Prince Manwhre!!
SIGN    Kobashiko