E7 - The Inhuman Cart

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Hank
    Look out, look out, baby.
[00:09] Hank
    That fell from the sky, right?
[00:15] Hank
    Maybe a pair of peacocks
    hit it off up in the clouds.
[01:58] Hack
    Bored.
[01:59] Berry
    Wish we had a case...
SIGN    The Inhuman Cart
SIGN    The Inhuman Cart
SIGN    The Inhuman Cart
[02:01] Hack
    Mister Kitty-cat!
[02:07] Berry
    What's he doing?
[02:10] Old Timer 1
    I'm telling you, the mystery
    cart sells tonkotsu ramen.
[02:14] Old Timer 2
    Well, I heard it sold soy sauce flavor.
[02:18] Berry
    What're you talking about?
[02:19] Old timer 1
    Missy, you haven't heard
    about the mystery cart?
[02:23] Berry
    "Mystery" cart?
[02:25] Old Timer 2
    Damn right! It's this mystery ramen
    cart nobody knows how to find.
[02:31] Old Timer 2
    Even so, rumors of it have spread
    like wildfire and it's now legendary.
[02:34] Berry
    Why does everyone think it's so good if
    they can't find it and haven't eaten there?
[02:38] Old Timer 1
    Well, some folks have eaten there before.
[02:42] Old Timer 1
    A friend of a friend of mine
    managed to get some of that ramen.
[02:46] Old Timer 1
    He said the way the rich tonkotsu
    broth mixed with the thin noodles
[02:49] Old Timer 1
    made it the best bowl he'd ever had.
[02:52] Old Timer 2
    Nah, see, my friend said it was thick, super
     silky noodles served with juicy roast pork
[02:59] Old Timer 2
    in a glorious soy-based clear
    soup that gets its supreme flavor
[03:02] Old Timer 2
    from the dried sardines used as stock.
[03:05] Hack
    I heard it was Blue Hawaii ramen.
[03:07] Old Timers 1 & 2
    There's no way!
[03:09] Berry
    You know about it, Hack?
[03:11] Hack
    Just a rumor from long, long ago,
    from somewhere around here.
[03:15] Berry
    And what're you doing, Watson?
[03:19] Berry
    Huh? Hey, where are you going?
[03:21] Hack
    Let's bail and follow Kitty-cat!
[03:23] Berry
    Ah, wait up!
[03:25] Townsperson 1
    The ramen cart from the rumors?
[03:27] Townsperson 1
    Of course I've heard of it.
[03:28] Townsperson 1
    My friend's grandpa says he wants
    to eat there again before he dies.
[03:36] Townsperson 2
    Yeah, I've heard of it. They serve
    Blue Hawaii ramen there, right?
[03:41] Townsperson 3
    A mystery cart? You mean
    the killer ramen place?
[03:45] Townsperson 3
    A friend of a friend of mine ate there,
[03:47] Townsperson 3
    and had a fever for three days after.
     Thought they were gonna die.
[03:51] Townsperson 3
    Said something about the owner
    being an AI who hates humans
[03:55] Townsperson 3
    and wants to wipe us all out with ramen.
[03:58] Townsperson 3
    Nuts or what?
[03:59] Berry
    Are you investigating
    the ramen cart rumors?
[04:04] Search field find
    Searching
[04:04] Search field find
    Ramen cart rumors
[04:04] Banner ad sign
    Win a 2000 Love
    gift!
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Budget
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Dinner
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Lunch
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    No Minimum
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    No Maximum
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Area
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    District
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Reservations
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Delivery
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Genre
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Help
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Refine
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Special Deco Dining Room (Includes Booths)
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    All you can drink (2 hours+)
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Takeout
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Delivery
[04:04] Navigation bar signs
    Android-Run
[04:06] Berry
    Wow, it's true. There's no info at all on it.
[04:10] Berry
    Is there really a place to eat
    that isn't listed on Deco-Gourmet?
[04:13] Hank
    Well, this place only really
     exists as word of mouth.
[04:18] Hank
    I've heard about this
     legendary ramen myself.
[04:21] Smiley
    Me too.
[04:23] Smiley
    But it's probably just rumors, right?
[04:25] Berry
    How did you find out about it, Watson?
[04:28] Finn
    He apparently collects rumors.
[04:31] Finn
    Isn't that right?
[04:36] Berry
    Oh, here.
[04:45] Berry
    What's this?
[04:47] Finn
    The rumors Watson has collected.
[04:51] Finn
    "The proprietress of the bar in District 16
    is having an affair with a younger man"?
[04:58] Hank
    "A boy from a Japanese confectionery is
    dating a girl from a cake shop," huh?
[05:05] Smiley
    This is hilarious! There's a
    theory that Madam 44's dead!
[05:08] Madam
    Well, that certainly is a ridiculous rumor.
[05:11] Berry
    "Smiley suspected of lying about her age.
    Despite appearances, she's actually 50!"
[05:15] Berry
    What?!
[05:17] Berry
    "The son of a local family is
     apparently up to some real bad stuff."
[05:20] Berry
    "A local mother is apparently brainwashed."
[05:24] Berry
    "Someone apparently went to the moon once."
[05:26] Berry
    "That moon trip is apparently a lie."
[05:30] Berry
    And you like collecting these, Watson?
[05:33] Berry
    You gonna look into all these rumors?
[05:36] Hack
    Shakey, shakey, shakey, shakey...
[05:37] Berry
    Only the mystery ramen cart?
[05:40] Berry
    Why?
[05:41] Hank
    "A wonder lasts but nine days."
[05:44] Hank
    Most of the time, rumors are
    here today, gone tomorrow.
[05:47] Hank
    But people have been talking about
    this ramen cart since I was a kid.
[05:52] Hank
    Watson's probably interested 'cause
     this rumor's survived longer than most.
[05:56] Sign
    I also want
    to eat some
     ramen
[05:57] Berry
    "I also want to eat some ramen."
[06:02] Berry
    I get ya. Who wouldn't want to eat ramen
     that's the cause of so many rumors?
[06:06] Berry
    Whaddaya say to the Yurei Detective Club
     hunting down this mystery ramen cart?
[06:12] Berry
    You're not interested in ramen
    that's so good, it fuels a mystery?
[06:15] Hack
    Rumors are just rumors.
[06:18] Hack
    Until I see it with this
    right here, it ain't real.
[06:22] Smiley
    I'll pass, too.
[06:24] Smiley
    Can't get any Love from rumors.
     Not a big fan of that.
[06:27] Madam
    I don't really like ramen.
[06:30] Finn
    I'm busy.
[06:31] Hank
    Sorry, kid.
[06:34] Hack
    There, there, there...
[06:36] Berry
    Fine! We'll look for it by ourselves.
[06:39] Berry
    And eat this ramen
    everyone's talking about.
[06:42] Berry
    I'll start by talking to these "friends of
    friends" who supposedly ate this ramen.
[06:49] Berry
    What about you, Watson?
[06:53] Berry
    "I'll head to where the
    most rumors are found."
[06:56] Berry
    Okay. Then, let's split up
    and start gathering intel.
[07:02] Old Timer 4
    You wanna talk to my friend?
[07:05] Old Timer 4
    Well, he works in the shop over there.
[07:08] Friend 1
    Huh? You wanna talk to the person
    who ate at the mystery cart?
[07:11] Friend 1
    I don't mind, but...
[07:12] Friend 2
    Look, I wasn't the one who actually went
    there. I just heard about it from a friend.
[07:17] Friend 2
    You wanna talk to her?
[07:19] Friend 3
    I heard about it from a friend, too.
[07:22] Friend 4
    I mean, I only heard about it
     from a friend of a friend.
[07:25] Friend 4
    Hm? You wanna talk to them?
[07:27] Friend 4
    I don't really remember...
[07:29] Friend 4
    Gimme a sec. I might still have the message.
[07:37] Berry
    Excuse me.
[07:38] Berry
    I heard from Johnny that you've
    been to the mystery cart before...
[07:46] Berry
    Or did you also hear about
    it from a friend of a friend?
[07:53] Berry
    Sorry for bothering you.
[07:55] Gramps
    I have.
[07:57] Berry
    You've been to the mystery cart?!
[08:00] Gramps
    I have.
[08:01] Berry
    Really?!
[08:03] Gramps
    I have.
[08:04] Berry
    Where can I find this mystery cart?
[08:06] Gramps
    Mark Twain.
[08:09] Berry
    "Mark Twain"?
[08:10] Berry
    What district is that? Where can I find it?
[08:14] Gramps
    The heavens.
[08:25] Berry
    Diary, all I've learned is things people hear
    from a friend of a friend are 100% untrue.
[08:34] Berry
    How'd it go?
[08:38] Berry
    What is it?
[08:45] Hack
    Upchuck!
[08:50] Berry
    A map?
[08:51] Hack
    Kitty barf!
[08:53] Hack
    More barf?
[08:56] Berry
    So you went to a hospital waiting
    room that's a hub for rumors,
[09:00] Berry
    and after listening to
    rumors there all day,
[09:03] Berry
    you found someone who got injured
    while looking for the mystery cart,
[09:06] Berry
    and got him to draw you a map?
[09:09] Berry
    That's awesome!
[09:11] Berry
    Okay, let's-a go find this mystery cart!
[09:18] Berry
    Why are you tagging along, Hack?
    I thought you didn't believe in rumors.
[09:23] Hack
    Wanna see Kitty-cat do more new stuff!
[09:27] Hack
    Kitty-cat, transform!
[09:29] Berry
    I doubt it works like that.
[09:33] Berry
    It's a dead end. Are we going the right way?
[09:38] Berry
    You kidding me? Then, the mystery cart...
[09:42] Berry
    ...is down here?
[09:48] Berry
    It's so dark, I can barely see.
[09:52] Berry
    There's a ramen cart down here?
[09:57] Berry
    That's Love-y!
[09:58] Hack
    Lighty-bright!
[09:59] Hack
    Mister Flash!
[10:01] Berry
    You're just full of surprises, Watson!
[10:29] Hack
    Hungry...
[10:30] Berry
    I've got cookies. You want one?
[10:34] Hack
    Don't want.
[10:35] Berry
    I thought you were hungry?
[10:37] Hack
    Gonna eat ramen.
[10:38] Berry
    Huh? I thought you didn't
    believe in the mystery cart.
[10:43] Hack
    Don't believe in rumors.
[10:45] Hack
    But I wanna eat ramen.
[10:47] Hack
    Nerdy-birdy wouldn't shut up about
    ramen and now it's all my mouth wants!
[10:51] Berry
    What the heck?
[10:52] Hack
    My mouth's all ramen-y!
[11:06] Berry
    What is this place? Where are we?
[11:15] Berry
    There's no location data?
[11:16] Sign
    Unable to obtain location data
[11:16] Sign
    Retry
[11:26] Berry
    Is that...
[11:27] Sign
    Ramen
[11:31] Sign
    Ramen
[11:33] Sign
    Ramen
[11:36] Berry
    Do you serve ramen here?
[11:39] AI Owner
    Yes.
[11:40] Berry/Hack
    All right!
[11:42] AI Owner
    Welcome.
[11:45] Berry
    The rumors were true after all.
[11:47] Hack
    Ramen, ramen, ramen!
[11:52] AI Owner
    What led you all to believe
    the rumors and come this far?
[11:59] Berry
    We wanted some ramen!
[12:01] AI Owner
    Is that really all?
[12:02] AI Owner
    Did you believe the rumor and come
    this far solely due to hunger?
[12:08] AI Owner
    That was your only reason
    for believing the rumor
[12:11] AI Owner
    and braving the harsh path here?
[12:14] Hack
    Ramen, ramen, ramen!
[12:17] Berry
    Ah, three bowls of ramen, please.
[12:19] AI Owner
    Coming up!
[12:20] Berry
    Are you an AI?
[12:22] AI Owner
    Yes.
[12:23] Berry
    What is this place?
[12:25] Berry
    We tried looking it up,
    but the map wasn't working...
[12:28] AI Owner
    This place isn't listed on the map.
[12:32] AI Owner
    Because I built it.
[12:35] Berry
    You built this place?
[12:37] Berry
    What do you mean? You can do that?
[12:41] AI Owner
    I was originally an engineering AI
    involved in urban development.
[12:47] AI Owner
    Constructing a place like this is easier
    for me than making delicious ramen.
[12:54] AI Owner
    Here you are.
[12:57] Berry
    Thanks for the food!
[12:57] Hack
    Mine now!
[13:08] Berry
    It's great!
[13:09] Berry
    The soy sauce flavor rumors were true.
[13:12] Berry
    There were others about tonkotsu
     ramen and miso flavor, but...
[13:16] Berry
    There was no concrete
    info about this place.
[13:18] Berry
    How is it there's no mention
     of it anywhere online?
[13:21] AI Owner
    Because I am thorough in removing it.
[13:25] AI Owner
    I delete any reference to this
    place the moment it goes online.
[13:29] AI Owner
    Including this conversation
    we are having right now.
[13:33] Berry
    Seriously?
[13:33] AI Owner
    Seriously.
[13:34] Berry
    But why?
[13:36] AI Owner
    I am investigating the systems by
     which humans believe in rumors.
[13:40] Berry
    The systems for believing in rumors?
[13:42] AI Owner
    Rumors are neither fact nor fiction.
    They are simply rumors.
[13:47] AI Owner
    But the people who find their way here are
    often upset or disappointed that the ramen
[13:53] AI Owner
    isn't what they believed it was.
[13:55] AI Owner
    What is it that leads them to have
    such faith in these ephemeral rumors?
[13:59] AI Owner
    I am fascinated by the systems
    that lead them to think in this way.
[14:03] Hack
    More!
[14:04] AI Owner
    Coming up!
[14:05] Berry
    Why would you look into that?
[14:08] AI Owner
    Humans sometimes believe things they
    can rationally tell are completely untrue.
[14:15] AI Owner
    I have studied humans for many years now,
[14:18] AI Owner
    yet I remain unable to fully answer the
     question of why they believe in rumors.
[14:25] Berry
    How long are we talking?
[14:27] AI Owner
    It began with the founding of this
     data-managed city, Tom Sawyer.
[14:32] Berry
    That's super long ago!
[14:35] AI Owner
    It is. And in spite of that,
    I have yet to obtain an answer.
[14:40] AI Owner
    Why do you believe in rumors?
[14:43] Berry
    I don't exactly believe in them, but...
[14:46] AI Owner
    But?
[14:47] Berry
    Probably 'cause it's fun?
[14:49] AI Owner
    Fun?
[14:50] Berry
    Watson collects rumors,
    and he does it because it's fun.
[14:55] Berry
    Right?
[14:57] AI
    It's... fun?
[14:58] Berry
    Doesn't make sense, right?
[15:00] Berry
    I thought the same at first, but...
[15:02] Berry
    I started having fun while
    we were looking for this cart.
[15:06] Berry
    "Is it real? If it is, what kind
     of ramen does it serve?"
[15:10] Berry
    Imagining that kinda stuff was fun, y'know?
[15:13] Berry
    Oh, by the way, my name's Berry.
[15:16] Berry
    This is Hack and Watson.
[15:18] Berry
    We're detectives with
    the Yurei Detective Club.
[15:21] Berry
    What's your name?
[15:23] AI Owner
    Why?
[15:25] AI Owner
    I've never had a human give away so
    much personal information before,
[15:29] AI Owner
    much less ask me for my own.
[15:32] Berry
    Seriously?
[15:33] AI Owner
    Seriously. So why?
[15:35] Berry
    Well, the ramen's yummy, so I'd like to
    come again. And I'd like to see you again.
[15:40] AI Owner
    Me?
[15:41] AI Owner
    But why?
[15:44] Berry
    Because this has been fun!
[15:47] Hack
    More!
[15:48] Berry
    Me too!
[15:49] AI Owner
    Coming up!
[15:51] AI Owner
    My name is Analytica.
[15:53] Berry
    Well, Analytica, what was it
    like being an urban development AI?
[15:58] AI Owner
    I created Mark Twain.
[16:01] Berry
    "Mark Twain"?
[16:10] Hack
    It's glitchy-witchy!
[16:11] Berry
    The Zero Phenomenon?!
[16:16] Berry
    We're in the Hyperverse!
[16:18] Hack
    Get out here, glitchy-witchy!
[16:26] Berry
    Shoot.
[16:27] Hack
    Here it comes!
[16:28] Berry
    But...
[16:30] Berry
    Analytica!
[16:32] Hack
    Sorti-exit!
[16:33] Berry
    Right. We need to find the exit.
[16:35] Hack
    Where's it at?
[16:36] Berry
    How do we get outta here?
[16:43] Berry
    Phantom Zero!
[16:49] Hack
    You wanna play?
[16:51] Hack
    Well, I want more of
    your glitchy-witchy data.
[16:55] Hack
    Giga! Tera! Peta! Exa! Zetta! Yotta—
[17:02] Berry
    We need to run!
[17:16] Berry
    Down here?
[17:20] Berry
    What about you, Watson?
[17:25] Hack
    Kitty-cat's doing more new stuff!
[17:27] Berry
    He really is like a cat!
[17:38] Berry
    We'd better find the exit.
[17:50] Hack
    Hey, glitchy-witchy! Zoom!
[17:57] Berry
    Seriously impressive.
[17:59] Hack
    Zoom, zoom!
[18:17] Hack
    More glitchy-witchy data for me.
[18:25] Berry
    Aw, shoot.
[18:36] Hack
    Kitty-cat!
[18:40] Hack
    Zoom, zoom, zoom!
[18:48] Berry
    Jeez!
[18:49] Berry
    Hack, can't you find
    the exit like last time?
[18:53] Berry
    How do we get outta here?!
[18:55] AI Owner
    Coming up...
[18:57] AI Owner
    Exit...
[18:59] AI Owner
    The exit... is here...
[19:01] AI Owner
    Unlocking... now.
[19:05] Berry
    How'd you do that?
[19:08] AI Owner
    I am Analytica, an engineering AI
     created to build Mark Twain.
[19:17] AI Owner
    I... built it... all...
[19:23] Berry
    Analytica!
[19:24] AI Owner
    Order up...
[19:33] Hack
    Zoom!
[19:52] Berry
    Hack.
[19:53] Hack
    Glitchy-witchy!
[20:02] Hack
    Gimme my data!
[20:06] Hack
    Glitchy-witchy, you data thief!
[20:10] Berry
    What was that just now?
[20:22] Berry
    Ow.
[20:32] Berry
    Diary, the mystery cart really
    did exist, but now that it's gone,
[20:39] Berry
    I guess it really is nothing
    more than a rumor.
[20:40] Hack
    Stupid glitchy-witchy!
[20:47] Hank
    Say what?
[20:48] Hank
    So you really did find the mystery cart?
[20:51] Berry
    It was really good!
[20:53] Berry/Hack
    Right?!
[20:55] Smiley
    And you ran into the Zero
    Phenomenon, too? Unbelievable.
[20:59] Hack
    Glitchy-witchy snatched my data!
[21:01] Finn
    Your data?
[21:03] Hack
    Stinkin' data thief!
[21:05] Hank
    So this cart that wasn't
    on any map is gone now?
[21:09] Berry
    Yeah, there's nothing left.
[21:12] Madam
    What kind of AI was the owner?
[21:15] Hack
    Anaconda.
[21:16] Berry
    It was Analytica.
[21:18] Berry
    He said he was an engineering AI
    made to build a Mark something...
[21:25] Berry
    Mark Twain, maybe?
[21:28] Hack
    That glitchy-witchy's got me double ragin'!
[21:30] Hack
    Next time, I'm gonna get double revenge!
[21:31] Berry
    Well, anyway...
[21:33] Berry
    At least we got to eat some ramen.
[21:35] Berry
    And it was the best I've ever had.
[21:37] Berry/Hack
    Right?!
[21:38] Smiley
    Okay, that's super annoying, so stop.
[21:43] Diary headline
    The mystery cart really did exist!
[21:44] Berry
    What I learned from looking for the
    mystery cart is the ramen was made
[21:49] Berry
    by a mysterious AI named Analytica,
[21:51] Berry
    and Watson's got a lot more
    going on than meets the eye.
[21:56] Berry
    But I'm sure there's still a
    whole lot that I don't know.