EX1 - Operation Desert Pasta

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    September, Unified Year 1925
SIGN    Imperial Capital Berun, Imperial Strategic Headquarters
SIGN    Strategy and Operations
    Colonel Erich von Rerugen
[00:21] Erich
    I'm a little tired of this.
SIGN    Military Railways
    Captain Maximilian Johann von Uger
[00:23] M
    The railway folks feel the same way.
[00:26] Erich
    Every day, the same food.
    And not good food, at that.
[00:31] Erich
    The quality of food has a
    direct effect on morale.
[00:35] Erich
    In other circumstances, I'd be asking the
    cooks to exercise their creativity...
[00:39] M
    But we can't ask for luxuries.
[00:41] M
    The front lines, particularly on the
    southern front, are probably far worse.
[00:45] Erich
    The southern front?
[00:48] Erich
    The 203rd Aerial Mage
    Battalion is there, too?
[00:55] Erich
    I suppose I can make a suggestion
    to General von Zettour.
[00:59] M
    What do you mean, specifically?
[01:00] Erich
    Our nominal allies in Ildoa have been making
    noises about wanting a closer relationship.
[01:07] Erich
    If we drop hints about wanting to share
     provisions, they might be willing to provide.
[01:13] Erich
    I'm sure the 203rd will love it.
SIGN    Interstitial Episode Operation Desert Pasta
SIGN    Southern Front, Imperial Military Temporary Base
SIGN    Base Command
[01:37] Tanya
    I've already drunk half
    my ration for the day.
SIGN    203rd Aerial Mage Battalion Commander
    Major Tanya von Degurechaff
SIGN    1st Company, Adjutant
    First Lieutenant Viktoriya Ivanovna Serebryakov
[01:42] Visha
    It hurts not having enough water,
     doesn't it, Major?
[01:48] (W)
    Major Degurechaff? Are you there,
     Major Degurechaff?
[01:52] Visha
    What is it, Captain Weiss?
SIGN    Vice Commander and 2nd Company Commander
    Captain Matheus Johann Weiss
[01:54] (W)
    Splendid news, Major!
[02:00] Men
    Supplies from home!
[02:02] Men
    Look at the size of those crates!
[02:04] (W)
    Let us through.
[02:05] Grantz
    Oh, Major!
[02:08] Grantz
    Look at this!
[02:10] Tanya
    That's pasta!
[02:12] Tanya
    Are all these crates filled with pasta?
[02:15] (W)
    Yes.
[02:16] (W)
    "We realized it was possible to
    transport dried short pasta by air.
[02:21] (W)
    The troops who've received it love it.
     I hope you'll enjoy it."
[02:26] (W)
    So the enclosed message says.
[02:31] Visha
    I've gotten so sick of that k-brot bread!
[02:34] Koenig
    We wouldn't want to refuse HQ's kindness.
SIGN    3rd Company Commander
    First Lieutenant Wilibald Koenig
[02:37] Grantz
    Let's chow down!
SIGN    2nd Company
    First Lieutenant Warren Grantz
[02:38] Neumann
    I'll do the cooking!
SIGN    4th Company Commander
    First Lieutenant Rhiner Neumann
[02:42] Tanya
    Men...
[02:43] Tanya
    Where do you think we are?
[02:46] Tanya
    Desert battles are harsh.
[02:48] Tanya
    Weapons. Ammo. Parts. Fuel.
[02:50] Tanya
    All that, and even water,
    needs to be transported in.
[02:55] Tanya
    I think the guys at HQ need
    to learn what it's like
[02:58] Tanya
    to not have water come out
    when you turn the faucet.
[03:02] Tanya
    So, did we get any water with this pasta?
[03:08] Weiss
    No, not really...
[03:10] Tanya
    Sheesh. So the Fatherland
    wants us to chew on raw pasta?
[03:14] Weiss
    That wasn't in our orders.
[03:17] Tanya
    If we used up all our water cooking pasta,
     it wouldn't even be funny.
[03:23] Tanya
    It's as edible as a picture of a dumpling,
    or a pie that's floating in the sky.
[03:27] ---
    What?
[03:30] Tanya
    Now, let's get back to our mission.
[03:34] Tanya
    We do force recon and strike
    their supplies, like always.
[03:39] Tanya
    We'll hit their supply lines
    and see how they react.
[03:42] All
    Yes, ma'am!
[03:55] (W)
    This is 02 to 01.
[03:57] (W)
    We've sighted an enemy supply
    depot that looks like our target.
[04:00] Tanya
    Very well.
[04:02] Tanya
    Follow the plan. The 2nd Company
     will hit from above.
[04:05] Tanya
    3rd and 4th Companies,
    strike from the flanks.
[04:07] Tanya
    Don't fly into your allies' firing lines.
[04:10] Tanya
    All units, attack!
[04:12] ---
    Yes, ma'am!
SIGN    Southern Front Free Republic Supply Depot
[04:20] Soldier
    What?
[04:22] Soldier
    What is it?
[04:23] Soldier
    You see something?
[04:31] Soldier
    Enemy attack! Enemy attack!
[04:35] Soldier
    Imperial Mages!
[04:36] Soldier
    Impossible! Where did they come from?
[04:38] Soldier
    Hit them back!
[04:39] Soldier
    They came out of nowhere!
[04:49] Grantz
    Enemy mages to the rear.
[04:51] Grantz
    They're panicking and rushing up here.
[04:53] Tanya
    Okay. 2nd Company, draw the mages away.
[04:57] Weiss
    Roger!
[05:00] Visha
    Major, detecting EM waves.
[05:03] Visha
    That's the comms facility!
[05:04] Tanya
    Okay. We've got a present
    from the Empire for it.
[05:21] Weiss
    This is the 4th Company. We see what looks
    like an ammo storage facility.
[05:25] Weiss
    You should be able to see it
    directly ahead of the 3rd Company!
[05:28] Tanya
    You guys can hit it, right, 3rd Company?
[05:30] Koenig
    Right!
[05:36] Koenig
    Thanks for gathering it
    all in one place for us!
[05:57] Soldiers
    What happened?
[05:58] Soldiers
    The ammo dump's on fire!
[06:00] Soldiers
    This place is finished!
[06:02] Soldiers
    Retreat! Retreat!
[06:05] Soldiers
    Get to the evac bunkers!
[06:06] Soldiers
    Leave the trucks! They're easy targets!
[06:19] Tanya
    Okay, we're done here.
[06:21] Tanya
    No enemy reinforcements.
[06:24] Tanya
    Pretty good work, for a force recon mission.
[06:28] Visha
    Major, over here!
[06:32] Tanya
    Did you find something,
    Lieutenant Serebryakov?
[06:37] Visha
    Look, Major!
[06:39] Visha
    It's filled with 20-liter water tanks!
[06:42] Visha
    We shouldn't lack for water for a while now!
[06:45] Tanya
    Hmm! Just what we were waiting for.
[06:56] Neumann
    Here you are, Major.
[06:58] Tanya
    Thank you.
[06:59] ---
    Hot, hot, hot, hot...
[07:04] Tanya
    Good. It's al dente.
[07:06] Guys
    How long has it been since I've had pasta?
[07:08] Guys
    This water is so good!
[07:09] Guys
    I never thought I'd get pasta in the desert!
[07:10] Guys
    Good job, HQ!
[07:17] Weiss
    This is, well...
[07:20] Grantz
    It's nice and toothsome, but...
[07:22] Koenig
    Depressingly flavorless.
[07:25] Neumann
    It's nice to be able to enjoy the
    original flavor of the ingredients.
[07:29] Neumann
    You can eat it in the ancient Ildoan style
    and not get your hands dirty.
[07:34] Soldiers
    This wasn't what I was hoping for.
[07:36] Soldiers
    But it fills you up, at least.
[07:39] Soldiers
    It's not great.
[07:40] Soldiers
    It's not that different than k-brot.
[07:43] Tanya
    Before all this, I could
    eat whatever I wanted.
[07:46] Tanya
    Honestly, this is...
[07:51] Visha
    You don't like it either, Major?
[07:55] Tanya
    Pasta's only good if you
    have sauce and spices to go with it.
SIGN    Southern Front Imperial Army Temporary Base Command
[08:09] Weiss
    I propose an Allied Kingdom
    Forward Base as our next target.
[08:15] Weiss
    We have limited information about them,
[08:17] Weiss
    but what we have suggests they're moving
    large amounts of supplies at night.
[08:21] Weiss
    We should see what they're stocking up on.
[08:26] Neumann
    Major, I suggest we strike
    the Escargots, not the Limeys.
[08:32] Koenig
    I'm not a gourmand by any means,
    but there are things even I can't eat.
[08:39] Visha
    What about this supply dump?
[08:41] Visha
    Given its location, it should
    have some yummy ingredients...
[08:54] Visha
    No, I mean...
[08:55] Visha
    I-I-It has important-looking
    supplies, and, um...
[08:58] Visha
    It's a good place to test
    the enemy's response.
[09:06] Tanya
    I see. If we hit this place, then we...
[09:12] Tanya
    We'll go with Lieutenant
    Serebryakov's suggestion.
[09:18] Visha
    I'm honored!
[09:20] Grantz
    Well done, Lieutenant Serebryakov.
[09:22] Koenig
    You've got a good nose.
[09:24] Weiss
    Yup.
[09:25] Tanya
    Of course, the goal of the
    operation is still force recon.
[09:31] Tanya
    But since we're exercising
    some local command discretion,
[09:33] Tanya
    contact the Southern Front Commander,
     General Romel.
[09:37] ---
    Ma'am!
[09:38] Weiss
    Dismissed.
[09:41] Tanya
    It's always best to keep the brass informed.
[09:46] Tanya
    I've got to make sure to cover
    my ass, bureaucracy-wise.
[09:53] Visha
    Um, Major?
[09:55] Visha
    What should I name the operation
    when I put it in my report?
[09:58] Tanya
    We're fixing HQ's screw-up.
    Just make something up...
[10:02] Tanya
    No.
[10:03] Tanya
    I just thought of a good name.
[10:17] (W)
    Attention!
[10:22] Tanya
    Men, the cooks at Strategic Command
    have no idea how food works.
[10:27] Tanya
    Thus, we're forced to find
    our own water in the desert,
[10:32] Tanya
    as well as our own meals!
[10:35] Tanya
    However, there's no need
    to take any big risks.
[10:39] Tanya
    It would be the height of stupidity
    to lose talented, veteran mages
[10:44] Tanya
    for the sake of some flavor.
[10:46] Grantz
    Major, are we more important
    to you than food?
[10:51] Tanya
    Correct, Lt. Grantz.
[10:53] Tanya
    Both you and the food are
    the property of the Empire.
[10:58] Tanya
    But you'll rot slower.
[11:01] Grantz
    I'm honored to hear it, ma'am!
[11:03] Koenig
    We always get the worst jobs.
[11:09] Neumann
    Cause we're the hardest workers.
[11:12] Tanya
    Both of you, that's not quite right.
[11:15] Tanya
    When I give you the shittiest jobs,
     it's 'cause I care.
[11:21] Man
    Okay, time to get to work!
[11:23] Man
    Just like we always do!
[11:27] Tanya
    Regardless, what we need is
    always far away from us.
[11:32] Tanya
    To get it, we must keep working.
[11:36] Tanya
    And so I now initiate...
[11:37] Tanya
    "Operation Desert Pasta."
SIGN    Southern Front Free Republic Base
SIGN    Free Republic Army
    General Pierre Michelaud De Lugo
[11:48] De Lugo
    What's going on?
SIGN    Free Republic Army
    Lt. Colonel Severin Bientot
[11:49] Severin
    The Empire knows the status of our supplies.
[11:56] Weiss
    Major, I found tomato sauce!
[12:00] Visha
    It has chicken in it!
[12:03] Severin
    The attacks look sporadic and random, but...
[12:08] De Lugo
    If you look at which countries
    jurisdictions were attacked,
[12:12] De Lugo
    it reveals a startling
    and dangerous truth.
[12:17] Koenig
    Got some basil!
[12:19] Grantz
    And dried parsley from Ildoa!
[12:21] Neumann
    Oregano, too!
[12:23] Neumann
    That'll be good in a tomato-based sauce!
[12:25] Severin
    They're not just idiots who
    are after our canned goods.
[12:29] Severin
    It's a cunningly-disguised strategy.
[12:32] Severin
    Every base that was attacked
[12:34] Severin
    was right on the border of another
    country's operational jurisdiction.
[12:38] De Lugo
    Which makes life harder.
[12:40] De Lugo
    Those disgusting dogs have already sniffed
    out the weakness in our alliance.
[12:49] Weiss
    Wine!
[12:50] Grantz
    And cheese, too!
[12:52] Visha
    That's perfect for the pasta!
[12:54] Koenig
    I could use some side dishes.
[12:56] Neumann
    I wanna make potato salad.
[12:58] Severin
    According to an intercepted
    enemy transmission...
[13:01] De Lugo
    They're calling this mission
    "Operation Desert Pasta"?
[13:06] De Lugo
    The bastards are mocking us!
[13:14] Tanya
    Everyone...
[13:17] Tanya
    Mission complete!
[13:18] All
    Hooray!
[13:30] (SV)
    It's so good...
[13:32] Grantz
    This chicken is great.
[13:34] Koenig
    So's the potato salad.
[13:36] Weiss
    It goes great with the wine!
[13:40] Neumann
    We're eating better than they do back home!
[13:42] Soldiers
    This is so good!
[13:43] Soldiers
    When's the last time we
    had something so good?
[13:46] Soldiers
    It's amazing!
[13:57] Tanya
    It's just a temporary coincidence that
    we're able to eat so well in the desert.
[14:03] Tanya
    But that coincidence has restored life
    and humanity to the troops of this unit.
[14:10] Tanya
    It's wonderful.
[14:13] Visha
    May I sit here?
[14:15] Tanya
    Go ahead.
[14:17] Visha
    This is a nice change of pace, huh, Major?
[14:22] Tanya
    Yeah.
[14:24] Tanya
    Food is important.
SIGN    Imperial Capital Berun, Imperial Air Force Base
[16:16] Rerugen
    I didn't expect such splendid results.
[16:23] Rerugen
    It was hard to get another shipment,
[16:26] Rerugen
    but the guys at the front are
    working so hard, I just had to.
[16:30] Soldiers
    Bring on the pasta!
[16:32] Soldiers
    We're sending more to the southern front!
[16:35] ---
    Sir!
[16:36] Soldiers
    Keep the noodles coming!
[16:37] Soldiers
    Hurry, hurry!