E5 - My First Battalion

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Visha
    Second Lieutenant Viktoriya Serebryakov,
[00:06] Visha
    reporting in as your assistant
    as per Strategic HQ orders.
[00:12] Tanya
    You're my assistant?
[00:15] Visha
    Yes.
[00:16] Visha
    It seems I was assigned this post because
    I already knew you, and we're both women.
[00:21] Tanya
    Gee, the brass sure is being
    awfully considerate.
[00:24] Tanya
    Belated congratulations on your promotion,
    Second Lieutenant.
[00:28] Visha
    Thank you!
[00:29] Visha
    I'll get to work right away, then!
[00:33] Tanya
    Don't bother. This isn't something
    two people can handle.
[00:37] Visha
    Don't worry.
[00:38] Visha
    I've already spoken with Garrison Command.
[00:40] Visha
    They'll send dozens of unoccupied
    MPs and other personnel.
[00:44] Tanya
    What?
[00:45] Visha
    I wanted to contribute to clearing
    the organization work as fast as possible.
[00:49] Tanya
    Having an assistant who's too talented
    is also a problem.
[00:52] Tanya
    I should have left her on the Rhine Front!
[01:04] ---
    First Lieutenant Aisha Schubert, reporting in.
[01:08] ---
    First Lieutenant Klein Balhelm, likewise.
[01:11] ---
    Good to see you.
[01:12] ---
    I am Colonel Gregorio von Turner, head of
    the Mage Battalion Organization Committee.
[01:17] ---
    You are to head to
    6th Air Squadron Command at once.
[01:22] ---
    But we were told to gather at
    this garrison by 1400 today.
[01:28] ---
    There's been a change of plans.
[01:31] ---
    Th-There has?
[01:34] ---
    Also, should you raise any alarm bells
    regarding your handling of classified info,
[01:38] ---
    you will be punished and returned
    to your original unit at once.
[01:41] ---
    Keep that in mind.
[01:42] ---
    Yes, sir!
SIGN    Failure
[01:49] Visha
    Are you sure?
[01:52] Tanya
    Don't ask me.
[01:53] Tanya
    Those who fail to notice the plainly obvious
    deserve to be returned to their units.
[01:58] Visha
    But that's the fourteenth pair.
[02:02] Tanya
    Jeez...
[02:04] Tanya
    I was sure at least four of them would pass.
[02:07] Visha
    Actually, Strategic HQ just sent a demand
    that we speed up the selection.
SIGN    Episode 5 My First Battalion
[02:17] ---
    So the creation of the mage battalion
    is nothing but propaganda?
[02:21] ---
    And I'm supposed to shut up and leave?
[02:23] ---
    Sorry.
[02:24] ---
    I'm glad to see you're so ambitious.
[02:26] ---
    If there's another opportunity,
    please volunteer.
[02:30] ---
    I understand.
[02:32] ---
    Excuse me.
[02:40] Tanya
    It's an illusion created by
    a normal optical spell,
[02:43] Tanya
    and the voice is a magical synthetic.
[02:48] ---
    I can see why you keep failing people.
[02:52] Tanya
    A mage should be able to
    see through this easily.
[02:56] Tanya
    But out of thirty-nine sets,
[02:59] Tanya
    thirty-three have been deceived and
    sent back to their home units.
[03:04] Tanya
    Only twelve people have passed.
[03:06] Tanya
    That's only enough for a company.
[03:09] ---
    You'll have to lower
    the standards for passing.
[03:11] Tanya
    Then I'll need time for reeducation
    and to devise an acceptable new standard.
[03:17] ---
    How long, exactly?
[03:20] Tanya
    A month.
[03:23] ---
    Only a month?
[03:24] ---
    Training a new soldier takes two years.
[03:28] Zettour
    I don't care.
[03:29] Zettour
    Reeducate them, even if you
    have to get a little rough.
[03:33] Tanya
    Roger.
[03:39] Visha
    Don't tell me...
SIGN    Imperial Army Zugspitsche Training Grounds
[03:48] ---
    An enemy attack?
[03:49] ---
    What happened?
[03:52] ---
    I-It's so cold...
[03:54] Visha
    I figured this would happen.
[03:57] Tanya
    There's your wake-up call!
[03:58] Tanya
    No need for thanks!
[04:01] Tanya
    I got word that the artillery unit
    running exercises in this area
[04:05] Tanya
    had old shells they needed to dispose of.
[04:09] Tanya
    Let's give them a chance for some fun.
[04:14] Tanya
    Also, I'm very sorry to say this,
[04:16] Tanya
    but they don't have much ammo
    stored for the exercise...
[04:20] Tanya
    They'll run dry in about
    thirty-six hours, maximum.
[04:25] ---
    Th-Thirty-six hours?
[04:28] Tanya
    Let's begin!
[04:30] Tanya
    Time to start defensive training!
[04:46] ---
    R-Retreat!
[04:50] ---
    Hurry!
[04:51] ---
    Move your hands!
[04:56] ---
    We should be able to block
    training shells with magic—
[05:01] Tanya
    That's strange.
[05:03] Tanya
    I guess they screwed something up,
    'cause real shells are mixed in there.
[05:07] Visha
    Did...
[05:08] Visha
    Did you have to go that far?!
[05:11] ---
    They're coming!
[05:12] ---
    Concentrate!
[05:15] ---
    Get down...
[05:18] ---
    Dodge...
[05:39] ---
    It's over.
[05:41] Visha
    I hope so...
[05:45] Tanya
    Those thirty-six hours just flew by, huh?
[05:48] Tanya
    Knowing you're all warriors,
    you haven't had enough fun yet, right?
[05:53] Tanya
    And so,
[05:55] Tanya
    it's time for you to move to the next point.
[05:59] Tanya
    You have forty-eight hours.
[06:01] Tanya
    No defensive spells or flight magic.
[06:04] Tanya
    If I detect any magic, I'll launch
    a magical artillery strike of my own!
[06:08] Tanya
    I'll give you one warning.
[06:11] Tanya
    Be very careful on your way.
[06:23] ---
    A bomber!
[06:42] ---
    What's that?
[06:45] ---
    A-Army dogs?
[06:48] Visha
    We should probably go around them.
[06:58] ---
    N-Nothing's really happening.
[07:01] ---
    Was she just trying to scare us?
[07:03] Visha
    It's possible...
[07:05] Visha
    Knowing the captain, it's totally possible.
[07:10] ---
    Damn it.
[07:11] ---
    She's rotten to the core!
[07:14] ---
    That bitch!
[07:26] ---
    Retreat! Retreat!
[07:48] ---
    H-Help me.
[07:49] ---
    My leg...
[08:02] Tanya
    Now you're napping during training, huh?
[08:07] Tanya
    Want to face a firing squad
    for dereliction of duty?
[08:10] ---
    Hang in there!
[08:10] ---
    Hey!
[08:11] ---
    Are you okay? Breathe!
[08:13] ---
    Hey!
[08:14] Visha
    N-No...
[08:18] ---
    Too useless to even dodge an avalanche—
[08:24] Visha
    C-Captain, that's going too far!
[08:31] Visha
    H-He came back to life?
[08:34] ---
    I can't believe it.
[08:35] ---
    That isn't human...
[08:38] ---
    If I try and drop out,
[08:41] ---
    I'll meet a fate worse than death.
[08:48] Tanya
    So that's all of you?
[08:50] Tanya
    Even though this was unexpected,
    training is training.
[08:54] Tanya
    At this rate, you'll never reach the
    designated point before time expires.
[08:58] Tanya
    If you're going to quit, then now is—
[09:01] ---
    I will continue the training!
[09:06] ---
    Me, too.
[09:07] ---
    Leave it to me.
[09:07] ---
    And me.
[09:08] ---
    I can keep going.
[09:09] ---
    Let me do it.
[09:10] ---
    Hurry!
[09:11] ---
    We'll finish the march!
[09:13] ---
    Right!
[09:18] Visha
    I-I'll go, too!
SIGN    One Month Later
[09:30] Tanya
    Today, you people are no longer maggots.
[09:36] Tanya
    Today, you are Imperial mages.
[09:40] Tanya
    You're part of a brotherhood.
[09:43] Tanya
    From now on, until the day you die,
[09:45] Tanya
    wherever you are, every member
    of the army is your brother.
[09:49] Tanya
    Most of you will go to the war zone.
[09:51] Tanya
    Some of you will not come back.
[09:54] Tanya
    But always remember this:
[09:56] Tanya
    Imperial soldiers die.
[09:59] Tanya
    That's what we're here for.
[10:02] Tanya
    But the Empire lives forever.
[10:05] Tanya
    And that means you live forever!
[10:09] Tanya
    Thus, the Empire expects you
    to fight forever for it!
[10:16] ---
    Sir, yes, sir!
SIGN    Imperial Strategic HQ External Bureau
[10:20] Tanya
    How did this happen?
[10:22] Tanya
    Why did I do that?
[10:24] Tanya
    I don't even remember.
SIGN    Organization Department
[10:27] Tanya
    Maybe it's because I used
    the Type-95 too much in training.
[10:31] Tanya
    I should get examined for
    mental corruption...
[10:35] Visha
    Major Degurechaff!
[10:36] Visha
    A military communiqué from Strategic HQ.
[10:39] Tanya
    Understood.
[10:41] Tanya
    Immediate answer required, huh?
[10:43] Visha
    Yes, a messenger is waiting outside.
SIGN    Drawing Room
[10:51] Erich
    Congratulations on your promotion,
    Major Degurechaff.
[10:54] Erich
    I'm Lieutenant Colonel Rerugen
    from Strategic Headquarters.
[10:57] Tanya
    Thank you.
[10:58] Tanya
    I've heard your name many times.
[11:01] Tanya
    I thought you were inspecting
    the forces in theater?
[11:05] Erich
    Yes, I returned a few days ago.
[11:10] Tanya
    Is something wrong?
[11:11] Erich
    No, nothing.
[11:13] Tanya
    I'll ask you a question, then.
[11:16] Tanya
    This order says we are to depart at once
    for the southeastern garrison,
[11:20] Tanya
    and it's given the highest priority level.
[11:23] Erich
    I was told your 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion
    had been assembled.
[11:28] Tanya
    But we're still basically a training battalion.
[11:31] Tanya
    I'd like six months, at least,
    to get everyone trained.
[11:35] Erich
    The inspector said
[11:37] Erich
    they had reached the level where
    they could be deployed immediately.
[11:40] Erich
    All of them are using prototypes of
    next-generation Elenium Type-97.
[11:46] Erich
    And they have completed
    adaptation training at 8,000 meters?
[11:50] Tanya
    I just got them the requisite equipment
    to balance their fighting strength.
[11:55] Tanya
    Engineer Schugel owed me a favor.
[11:58] Erich
    Our military has nothing to spare!
[12:01] Erich
    To the west, the Rhine theater is a stalemate,
[12:04] Erich
    and we haven't finished things in the north.
[12:06] Tanya
    That's why I'm so confused...
[12:08] Tanya
    Why are we being deployed to
    the southeastern garrison?
[12:12] Erich
    It was Strategic Headquarters' decision,
    after my inspection of various theaters.
[12:19] Tanya
    Understood.
[12:21] Erich
    If you'll excuse me now.
[12:26] Erich
    Oh, right...
[12:28] Erich
    This is just a personal bit of advice,
[12:31] Erich
    but since you are headed to
    the southeastern garrison,
[12:34] Erich
    why not take the opportunity
    to learn Dakian?
[12:38] Erich
    Dakian?
[12:45] Tanya
    I see...
[12:46] Tanya
    The Entente Alliance, the Republic,
[12:49] Tanya
    and now the Dukedom of Dakia?
SIGN    Imperial Army Southeastern Theater, Military Garrison 5
[13:07] ---
    A message from the southern zone.
[13:11] Tanya
    "Emergency.
[13:12] Tanya
    A corps-sized Dakian military unit
    has invaded our borders."
[13:16] ---
    Yes.
[13:17] ---
    The enemy infantry comprises approximately
    600,000 men, in four army groups.
[13:21] Tanya
    What's the aerial combat situation?
[13:23] ---
    No information on enemy air strength.
[13:25] Tanya
    What?
[13:27] Tanya
    Is there a problem with communications?
[13:28] ---
    Everything is normal.
[13:30] ---
    There's no word of an air superiority battle,
[13:33] ---
    and we've also intercepted
    unencrypted communications.
[13:36] Tanya
    Unencrypted?!
[13:37] Tanya
    Those must be fake...
[13:39] Tanya
    I can't believe the enemy has no air forces.
[13:42] ---
    But all communications we've picked up
    in the area are the same type,
[13:46] ---
    so that should be accurate.
[13:48] Tanya
    They aren't encrypting communications,
    and they have no aerial forces?
[13:53] Tanya
    I didn't expect the Dakian Army
    to be so inept.
[14:00] Visha
    Attention!
SIGN    Imperial Army 203rd Air Mage Battalion
[14:05] Visha
    A message from the battalion commander!
SIGN    Vice Commander and 2nd Company Commander
    First Lieutenant Matheus Johann Weiss
[14:07] Tanya
    It is time for war, everyone.
SIGN    Battalion Commander and 1st Company Commander
    Major Tanya von Degurechaff
[14:11] Tanya
    No, something merely similar to war.
[14:16] Tanya
    Today happens to be my birthday.
[14:20] Tanya
    Perhaps the Dukedom of Dakia knew this,
    since they've sent me a gift.
[14:24] Tanya
    A wonderful surprise present!
[14:26] Tanya
    A bunch of targets for
    a live-fire training exercise.
SIGN    1st Company Second-in-Command
    Second Lieutenant Viktoriya Serebryakov
[14:30] Tanya
    You may choose to shoot them
[14:33] Tanya
    or to destroy them with spells.
[14:35] Tanya
    With guaranteed air supremacy,
SIGN    3rd Company Commander
    First Lieutenant Wilibald Koenig
[14:39] Tanya
    this is a man hunt, if anything!
[14:41] Tanya
    It's like kicking boy scouts about.
SIGN    4th Company Commander
    First Lieutenant Rhiner Neumann
[14:44] Tanya
    One last thing.
[14:46] Tanya
    This time, our targets will return fire...
[14:49] Tanya
    Probably.
[14:51] Tanya
    Not that any of you are stupid
    enough to get shot down,
[14:54] Tanya
    but keep it in mind.
[14:57] Tanya
    Very well, gentlemen.
[14:59] Tanya
    It's time for some sports!
[15:05] Tanya
    Confirmed sighting of
    the Dakian vanguard unit.
[15:08] Tanya
    Approximately three divisions.
[15:11] Tanya
    All battalion soldiers, move out.
[15:14] Tanya
    Teach them what war is all about.
[15:17] Tanya
    Bring the hammer of civilization
    down upon them!
[15:20] All
    Roger!
[15:23] ---
    Advance!
[15:24] ---
    Don't break formation!
[15:35] ---
    A live-fire exercise is
    an apt way to describe this.
[15:38] ---
    It's basically a bunch of scarecrows.
[15:41] ---
    If we miss, we'll be a laughingstock.
[15:42] ---
    Penetrating spells... Fire!
[15:51] ---
    Sheesh, we can't let them beat us.
[15:54] ---
    Follow their lead.
[15:55] ---
    Prepare artillery spell!
[15:57] ---
    Fire!
[16:00] Tanya
    Well, this sucks.
[16:02] Tanya
    I have nothing to do.
[16:03] Visha
    I was sure this would be a tough battle.
[16:09] Tanya
    What, scared of a mere three divisions?
[16:12] Tanya
    It's hard to believe you survived the Rhine.
[16:15] Visha
    Major, um...
[16:17] Visha
    Three divisions is a lot!
[16:20] Visha
    I've thought this before, but your idea of
    what constitutes a threat is a little...
[16:25] Tanya
    A little what?
[16:26] Visha
    Oh! It's nothing!
[16:29] Tanya
    I'm sorry, Second Lieutenant Serebryakov.
[16:32] Tanya
    Looks like you're right.
[16:34] Visha
    Um, I'm sorry?
[16:36] Tanya
    We should define them as a horde or mob,
    a little under 50,000 strong.
[16:42] Tanya
    I can see why calling them "divisions"
    could lead to misunderstandings.
[16:46] Tanya
    How silly of me...
[16:53] Tanya
    Well, it's the first world war in this world.
[16:58] Tanya
    Few soldiers truly understand
    the threat that air power represents.
[17:08] Tanya
    What's that?
[17:10] Tanya
    What are they doing?
[17:13] Visha
    I believe they're lining up to fire a volley.
[17:16] Tanya
    You're kidding.
[17:17] Tanya
    What year do they think this is?
[17:19] Tanya
    This isn't the era of cavalry.
[17:22] Tanya
    Lieutenant Weiss?
[17:24] Tanya
    Why are you falling back?
[17:26] Tanya
    Why are you breaking attack formation?
[17:28] Visha
    Enemy infantry has gotten
    into AA formation.
[17:32] Visha
    So as doctrine dictates, he's trying to
    fall back to the limits of his range—
[17:36] Tanya
    Doctrine? That idiot can't
    act without a manual?
[17:38] Tanya
    Does he really think an infantry
    bullet can hit a flying mage?
[17:44] Tanya
    If any mage is shot down by one,
    I'll kill him before the enemy does!
[17:50] Tanya
    Very well! We'll join in, too!
[17:52] Tanya
    Company, follow me!
[17:55] ---
    Th-The enemy!
[17:56] ---
    Fire! Fire!
[18:02] ---
    That isn't fair!
[18:04] ---
    Come down!
[18:05] Tanya
    Man, I didn't expect I'd be unable
    to even hear the machine guns.
[18:10] Tanya
    Drop grenades!
[18:18] Tanya
    It's so strange.
[18:20] Tanya
    Aren't we the ones being invaded?
[18:23] Tanya
    Jeez, what a bunch of morons.
[18:35] Visha
    This looks like the invading army's
    real HQ, not a decoy.
[18:40] Tanya
    They're broadcasting communications in
    the clear, without even dropping output?
[18:43] Tanya
    I'm starting to think we actually mowed
    down a bunch of tourists, not soldiers.
[18:51] ---
    Y-You bastards!
[18:53] Tanya
    Welcome to the Empire.
[18:55] Tanya
    What is the purpose of your visit?
    Do you have a visa?
[18:59] ---
    Sh-Shut up!
[19:03] Tanya
    No visas?
[19:05] Tanya
    Would you like to enter the country
    as prisoners of war, then?
[19:09] ---
    K-Kill them all!
[19:10] ---
    Fire!
[19:14] Visha
    This is a waste of time, huh?
[19:15] Tanya
    Yeah.
[19:16] Tanya
    Kill them all, except the commander.
[19:18] Visha
    Yes, ma'am.
[19:29] Tanya
    Presents for Strategic Headquarters.
[19:31] Tanya
    Take everything but the bodies!
[19:33] Tanya
    Hey, you.
[19:34] Tanya
    Put a booby trap on that corpse.
[19:37] Tanya
    Has the unit rendezvoused?
[19:40] ---
    Yes.
[19:41] ---
    Shall we wipe out the remaining troops?
[19:43] Tanya
    Where are our allied air fleets?
[19:45] ---
    The 7th Air Fleet will arrive shortly.
[19:48] ---
    As soon as they've reloaded their bombs,
    they'll launch a full-scale attack.
[19:51] Tanya
    Then we'll let our allies annihilate
    the enemy, and we'll advance.
[19:56] ---
    Yes, ma'am!
[19:57] ---
    Where will we go?
[19:59] Tanya
    The capital.
[20:01] ---
    The capital?
[20:03] Tanya
    Forward... Farther forward.
[20:06] Tanya
    Let's try this, and see how far we can go.
[20:10] Tanya
    Our battalion is capable of moving forward.
[20:21] Tanya
    Target sighted.
[20:23] Tanya
    Looks like a Republic-backed arms factory.
[20:27] Tanya
    It's probably filled with flammables.
[20:30] Visha
    But I don't see any air defense.
[20:35] Tanya
    No...
[20:36] Tanya
    They're using last century's paradigm.
[20:38] Tanya
    They seem to still be living in
    two dimensions.
[20:41] Visha
    This is our chance. Let's attack.
[20:44] Tanya
    Second Lieutenant,
[20:45] Tanya
    we aren't the kind of barbarians
    who'd ignore international wartime law.
[20:51] Tanya
    In adherence to the laws the ethicists made,
[20:53] Tanya
    we must destroy nothing but the enemy factory
    and warn them to evacuate.
[20:58] Visha
    But, Major, we'll lose the chance
    for a surprise attack.
[21:02] Tanya
    First Lieutenant Weiss...
[21:03] Tanya
    I saw this earlier, but you play
    by the book a little too much.
[21:07] Visha
    I-I'm sorry!
[21:09] Tanya
    Second Lieutenant,
    give the warning immediately.
[21:11] Tanya
    On the international channel,
    just like the rules say.
[21:14] Visha
    But, um... You're sure you want me to?
[21:25] Tanya
    Oh...
[21:26] Tanya
    Yeah. Looks like it would be better for me to.
[21:33] Tanya
    Instructor! We swear that
    we will conduct a fair war,
[21:39] Tanya
    in accordance with international law!
[21:45] Tanya
    We warn you now!
[21:46] Tanya
    The Imperial Army is about to launch
    an attack on your military facility!
[21:52] Visha
    Wonderful!
[21:53] Visha
    They seem to think it's a kid's prank!
[21:57] Vanguard
    I didn't know you had
    theater experience, Major!
[22:04] Tanya
    Now, everyone,
[22:05] Tanya
    we have fulfilled our duty
    under international law.
[22:08] Tanya
    Let's get to work.
[22:10] Tanya
    All units, prepare ultra-long-range spells!
[22:14] Vanguard
    Target the Carbelius Weapons Factory!
[22:17] Vanguard
    All companies, match your
    fire to the commander's.
[22:34] Tanya
    In God's name, bring down his wrath on
    all who would violate the Fatherland.
[22:40] Tanya
    Manifest the miracles of God on Earth.
[22:44] Tanya
    Open fire!
[22:56] Visha
    Sixteen direct hits.
[22:57] Visha
    The rest are near hits.
[22:58] Tanya
    Hmm, not bad.
[23:06] Vanguard
    Secondary explosions!
[23:08] Vanguard
    Wow.
[23:09] Tanya
    Tamaya!
[23:12] Tanya
    Just an expression of joy.
    Don't worry about it.
[23:16] Tanya
    Looks like we owe Dakia big time.
[23:18] Tanya
    Not only did they help with
    our live-fire exercise,
[23:22] Tanya
    but they even treated us to a
    post-exercise fireworks show.
[23:25] Tanya
    Halt! We've achieved our objective!
[23:28] Tanya
    Now, let's head back, my battalion.
SIGN    This program is fiction. All persons, groups, places, laws, and names appearing in it have no relation to the real world.