E1 - The Remedial Student and the Witch of the Staff

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Saybil
    I can't remember...
[00:07] Zero
    Your eyes
[00:09] Zero
    are the same as mine, young man.
[00:15] Saybil
    ...who she is...
[00:20] Zero
    Come.
[00:21] Zero
    I shall take you to a world
    befitting of you.
[00:28] Saybil
    ...or who I am.
SIGN    Three Years Later
SIGN    Kingdom of Wenias Royal Academy of Magic
[00:37] Guy
    It's a summons.
[00:39] Girl
    Who's this "Saybil?"
[00:40] Guy
    You know. That gloomy, mysterious guy.
[00:43] Guy
    To see the Headmaster?
[00:45] Girl
    What does that mean?
[00:47] Kudo
    A summons? What did he do?
[00:50] Student A (male)
    Well, you know he has the worst
    grades in the academy—
[00:54] Student A (male)
    It's probably to tell him he's expelled.
[00:58] Hort
    What's all this? What's the fuss about?
[01:00] Student B (female)
    A student has been summoned
    to the Headmaster's office.
[01:04] Hort
    A summons? What for?
[01:07] Student B (female)
    Who knows? But they say
    Headmaster Albus is super scary.
[01:11] Student B (female)
    Poor dude.
[01:15] Los
    Hear me! Come out, Albus!
[01:19] Los
    Wilt thou open thy door?!
[01:21] Los
    Dost thou truly not hear me?
[01:25] Los
    If so, I look quite the fool.
[01:28] Los
    'Tis worse than being ignored!
[01:30] Los
    Hey!
[01:32] Los
    I know thou art there!
[01:34] Saybil
    Um...
[01:36] Los
    What's this? A student of the academy?
[01:39] Los
    What business hast thou with me,
    promising young man?
SIGN    Lowest-ranked student in his year
[01:43] Saybil
    Promising? Me?
[01:48] Los
    As is plain to see, I am quite busy.
[01:51] Los
    Begone.
[01:53] Saybil
    The Headmaster summoned me.
[01:55] Los
    What?
[01:57] Los
    How splendid. A port in the storm!
[02:00] Los
    I welcome thee!
[02:03] Los
    Come! Quickly! Do open the door!
[02:06] Saybil
    Um, but...
[02:08] Saybil
    ...the Headmaster didn't call
    for you, correct?
[02:12] Saybil
    If I let you in, I'll get in trouble.
[02:17] Los
    Sound reasoning.
[02:18] Los
    I am fond of sound reasoning.
[02:21] Los
    Very well.
[02:24] Los
    In that case,
[02:26] Los
    this is mine answer!
[02:30] Saybil
    My dear Ludens, say hello!
[02:38] Los
    Now, cry out! Beg for thy life!
[02:41] Los
    A precious student's life is at stake.
[02:44] Los
    Not even Albus would ignore this!
[02:46] Holdem
    Now, see here!
[02:48] Holdem
    Loux Krystas!
[02:50] Holdem
    Y-You wretch! Step away from that student!
[02:57] Los
    My, my.
[02:59] Los
    What have we here?
[03:01] Los
    The third-rate servant. How time has flown by.
[03:04] Holdem
    Can it! You're nothing but trouble
    every time you show up!
[03:09] Los
    I have business with Albus.
[03:12] Holdem
    Go back to your lair!
[03:17] Los
    Impossible!
[03:28] Los
    Don't touch it!
[03:28] Holdem
    Stop!
[03:29] Holdem
    You got a death wish?
[03:36] Los
    M-My staff!
[03:39] Los
    Holdem, thou fiend!
[03:41] Los
    Thou darest kick dear Ludens,
    treasure of my lineage!
[03:46] Los
    Know that this merits a thousand deaths!
[03:49] Holdem
    What a tired line.
[03:50] Los
    How mean!
[03:56] Albus
    Holdem, what is all this racket abou—
[04:01] Albus
    Loux Krystas!
[04:04] Albus
    How did you get into the academy?
[04:07] Los
    How?
[04:10] Los
    Why, with cuteness.
[05:43] Los
    What is this?
[05:45] Los
    Thou didst not serve me tea,
    third-rate servant!
[05:47] Holdem
    There is no tea for intruders.
SIGN    Episode 1
    The Remedial Student and the Witch of the Staff
[05:49] Los
    How mean!
[05:50] Los
    I want tea, too! And tea cakes!
[05:52] Saybil
    A special field program?
[05:54] Saybil
    I'm not expelled?
[05:55] Albus
    Correct.
[05:56] Albus
    I can't see you progressing
    within the academy.
[06:00] Albus
    So, I aim to develop you
    in a different environment.
[06:05] Saybil
    A different environment?
[06:08] Albus
    The Church and witches were at war until
     five years ago. You learned that, correct?
[06:13] Saybil
    Yes. And that there are still
    witch hunts in the south.
[06:17] Albus
    Why do you think that is?
[06:20] Albus
    What caused the end of witch hunts
    here in the Kingdom of Wenias?
[06:25] Saybil
    I believe the greatest factor
    was the war ten years ago.
[06:31] Saybil
    It was the evil sorcerer Thirteen.
[06:33] Saybil
    Ten years ago,
[06:36] Saybil
    he caused a war by spreading
    magic throughout the kingdom...
[06:41] Saybil
    to end the persecution of witches
    and create a place in the world for them.
[06:47] Albus
    You've done your homework.
[06:49] Albus
    And that sorcerer was executed.
[06:52] Albus
    I saw it done.
[06:55] Saybil
    I, um...
[06:56] Albus
    Don't be nervous. You were correct.
[07:00] Albus
    Thirteen's methods were wrong,
[07:03] Albus
    but the war brought magic into wide use,
[07:05] Albus
    and it greatly changed the world's
    view of witches. There's no denying it.
[07:11] Albus
    Though it can take decades to master magic,
[07:14] Albus
    anyone with a talent for it
    can use it within a few years.
[07:18] Albus
    Thirteen made that known to the world.
[07:22] Albus
    That's why I created this academy,
[07:24] Albus
    to administrate the spread of magic.
[07:28] Albus
    The school has only been
     around for four years,
[07:30] Albus
    but magic is already integrated
    into daily life in the kingdom.
[07:35] Albus
    In the south, though, witches and mages
    are unusual and still seen as "other."
[07:39] Los
    I said I want tea! And cakes!
[07:41] Holdem
    Let go!
[07:43] Albus
    Holdem, let her have tea to shut her up.
[07:49] Los
    Yum yummy nummy!
[07:51] Albus
    Thus, I have decided to create
    a witch village in the south.
[07:56] Albus
    A village where witches are treated
    as normal people, not others.
[08:00] Albus
    I want you to serve as a mage there.
[08:06] Albus
    If after three years the
     supervisor deems you unfit,
[08:11] Albus
    you will have all memory of magic
    and the academy sealed away.
[08:17] Saybil
    Th-Three years...
[08:18] Los
    Oh, thought this through, haven't thou?
[08:21] Los
    This provides thy student with training
[08:24] Los
    and at the same time uses him
    to expand thy influence!
[08:28] Los
    Very well!
[08:29] Los
    I am fond of efficiency.
[08:31] Los
    The journey to this
     village is treacherous.
[08:34] Los
    I, Loux Krystas, the Dawn Witch, shall bring
    my 300 years of experience to the job!
[08:40] Albus
    No, you see, I already arranged
    for a witch escort...
[08:44] Los
    I sent that witch away.
[08:48] Albus
    Excuse me?
[08:49] Los
    Behold, the commission letter.
[08:51] Los
    She gladly accepted my offer
    to switch jobs and left.
[08:59] Albus
    Are you daft?!
[09:01] Albus
    This is why witches drive me mad!
[09:03] Albus
    Every one of them, selfish! Decadent!
    No spirit of cooperation!
[09:07] Los
    So hyperbolic. Am I not
    offering to cooperate?
[09:11] Los
    All I require is permission to peruse
[09:14] Los
    the world's first manual on magic,
    The Grimoire of Zero.
[09:18] Saybil
    The Grimoire of Zero...
[09:20] Albus
    I've told you a thousand times.
    That is a forbidden text.
[09:24] Albus
    Permission cannot be granted.
[09:27] Los
    Thy justification is that the tome
    is dangerous, no?
[09:29] Los
    That one could destroy the world with it?
[09:32] Los
    I harbor, however, no fondness
    for causing suffering.
[09:36] Albus
    You will receive no special
    treatment. That's final.
[09:41] Albus
    But...
[09:42] Albus
    ...yes.
[09:45] Albus
    I could let you meet
    the author of the grimoire.
[09:48] Los
    Th-The Mud-Black Witch?!
[09:51] Holdem
    But my lady! That's...
[09:54] Albus
    I can arrange a meeting,
[09:56] Albus
    but I cannot guarantee
    she'll talk about magic.
[10:00] Albus
    You might not even recognize
    that it's her when you meet.
[10:05] Los
    I am Loux Krystas, the Dawn Witch!
[10:08] Los
    I shan't be fooled by any disguise!
SIGN    Entrance to the Southern Tunnel (Witch Gallows)
[10:15] Los
    Over here!
[10:17] Los
    Right here!
[10:20] Saybil
    Thank goodness.
[10:21] Los
    What? Is this your first trip
    outside the kingdom?
[10:24] Hort
    Oh, I found you! I'm not too late!
[10:30] Hort
    You're going to the village
    field program, right?
[10:32] Hort
    I'm Hort!
[10:34] Hort
    I'm a fourth-year student.
    One year ahead of you!
[10:36] Hort
    I'll be coming with you!
[10:38] Saybil
    Huh? But aren't you...?
[10:40] Hort
    You're Professor Los, right?
    A pleasure to meet you.
[10:43] Los
    Oh, "professor," eh?
[10:46] Kudo
    I ain't goin' with you.
[10:48] Kudo
    I'm a seasoned traveler.
    I don't need an escort.
[10:52] Saybil
    Kudo.
[10:54] Kudo
    I'll be taking these two with me.
    To the village.
[10:59] Los
    You came just to decline mine
    escort? How conscientious.
[11:04] Kudo
    I just didn't want my grades to be docked!
[11:08] Los
    Ah, I see. A coward, then.
[11:12] Kudo
    Shut up!
[11:13] Saybil
    Wow. He's blushing.
[11:15] Kudo
    No, I'm angry!
[11:18] Kudo
    Tell me something, Saybil.
[11:20] Kudo
    What's the worst student in school
    doing in the special program?
[11:25] Saybil
    Good question. Everyone else
    has excellent grades.
[11:29] Student 1
    C'mon, Kudo!
[11:31] Student 2
    Let's get moving!
[11:34] Kudo
    Since you understand you don't belong,
    go back to the academy and drop out.
[11:40] Kudo
    For your own good.
[11:42] Hort
    What's his problem?
[11:45] Hort
    As a beastfallen, doesn't he know
    to at least soften his attitude?
[11:50] Saybil
    I don't expect him to.
[11:52] Hort
    Huh?
[11:53] Saybil
    It seems wrong to hold
    beastfallen to separate standards.
[11:57] Saybil
    He's practically honest to a fault,
    and I find that reassuring.
[12:05] Hort
    Sayb, you're so cool!
[12:07] Saybil
    Huh?
[12:08] Hort
    You helped me change the way I think!
[12:12] Los
    Come. Time to go.
[12:14] Hort
    Yes, ma'am!
[12:20] Los
    We must pass through the tunnel
    and find a carriage at once,
[12:23] Los
    and then reach an inn before sunset.
[12:26] Saybil
    What is it, Hort?
[12:28] Hort
    Oh, nothing!
[12:29] Hort
    Professor Los!
[12:31] Hort
    Are you hungry?
[12:33] Los
    Here. 'Tis hot.
[12:37] Hort
    Professor?
[12:38] Hort
    Did you just feed your staff a skewer?!
[12:41] Los
    Sure. 'Tis a perfectly normal occurrence.
[12:44] Hort
    N-No, it isn't!
[12:46] Hort
    Wait, is your staff...?
[12:49] Los
    Indeed, the Staff of Ludens.
    The witch eater, just as thou fearest.
[12:55] Hort
    I knew it!
[12:56] Hort
    When someone touches it, it consumes
    their magic and kills them, right?
[13:00] Saybil
    Oh...
[13:02] Saybil
    That's why they stopped me...
[13:04] Hort
    You tried to touch it?
[13:06] Saybil
    I mean, Professor Los
    was handling it no problem.
[13:08] Hort
    Oh, that's true.
[13:11] Hort
    So it doesn't necessarily kill you, then.
[13:15] Los
    No, it does.
[13:18] Los
    We formed a pact.
[13:20] Los
    Even with my magic fully depleted,
    Ludens keeps me alive.
[13:24] Los
    My dear Ludens and I
     are one in body and soul!
[13:28] Los
    Oh, my dear, sweet Ludens!
[13:31] Hort
    Sayb, that's my skewer!
[13:33] Saybil
    What?
[13:34] Saybil
    Oh. S-Sorry.
[13:38] Hort
    I set it aside and everything! Spit it up!
[13:41] Los
    I don't see why thou
    wouldst eat spat-up food.
[13:45] Hort
    Th-That's not the issue!
[13:48] Hort
    Oh, jeez!
[13:49] Hort
    Don't blame me if you get a tummy ache!
[13:55] Hort
    S-Sayb!
[13:57] Los
    'Tis an extraordinary level
    of motion sickness.
[14:01] Los
    Here. I shall lend thee
    my favorite handkerchief.
[14:04] Saybil
    Th-Thank you.
[14:08] Saybil
    I was totally fine the last time
    I rode in a carriage.
[14:12] Hort
    Professor! Sayb is gonna die!
[14:15] Los
    I get it. Calm down.
[14:17] Los
    Driver!
[14:19] Los
    Stop the carriage. We need
    to get off to prevent a casualty.
[14:30] Saybil
    W-Wow.
[14:32] Saybil
    That's Solm, right?
[14:35] Saybil
    You can already cast it
    without an incantation.
[14:37] Saybil
    No wonder you're the top student.
[14:40] Hort
    What? Y-You knew?
[14:43] Saybil
    Yeah. You're famous.
[14:45] Saybil
    Sorry you're stuck with me...
[14:47] Hort
    Huh?
[14:49] Hort
    It's not like I'm perfect
    at everything myself.
[14:52] Saybil
    You're smart and nice. Wow.
[14:57] Hort
    I'm not all that nice.
[15:01] Hort
    I'm just well-practiced.
[15:04] Hort
    See? Check out this smile!
[15:10] Saybil
    You look so cute.
[15:11] Hort
    I do, don't I? Very candid, Sayb!
[15:14] Hort
    That's my special skill.
[15:16] Hort
    If you keep smiling, it's easier
    to get people to like you.
[15:20] Hort
    Before I entered the academy,
[15:22] Hort
    I couldn't even get decent
    meals without smiling.
[15:26] Hort
    But I guess all the kids who chose
    to attend had issues, right?
[15:32] Hort
    Especially the teenage students like us...
[15:35] Hort
    We wanted the power to change things...
[15:40] Hort
    What about you, Sayb? Got a story, too?
[15:43] Saybil
    I...
[15:44] Saybil
    don't remember anything
    before the academy.
[15:47] Hort
    What?
[15:49] Saybil
    I don't even remember
    taking the entrance exam.
[15:51] Saybil
    If I'm expelled, I'll lose
    my memories of the academy, too.
[15:55] Saybil
    Then I'll truly be empty...
[15:58] Saybil
    So, I have no choice but to become a mage.
[16:02] Saybil
    And yet I can barely even—
[16:04] Los
    'Tis quite a passive reason,
    "I have no choice."
[16:10] Saybil
    Professor Los...
[16:12] Hort
    Professor, your staff!
[16:14] Hort
    Are you using the Staff of Ludens as a pot?!
[16:17] Los
    Don't put it so rudely!
[16:20] Los
    I am simply having my dear
    Ludens carry water for me.
[16:24] Los
    Now, what were you saying?
[16:26] Saybil
    Huh?
[16:27] Saybil
    Well, um...
[16:29] Saybil
    I can barely cast magic at all.
[16:35] Los
    Your spells get out of control?
[16:37] Saybil
    Yes.
[16:38] Saybil
    But when I try to restrain them,
    I can't cast at all.
[16:42] Los
    I see. Perhaps Kudo spoke true.
    'Twould be best to quit.
[16:49] Los
    Nothing is more dangerous
    than casting without control.
[16:54] Saybil
    But after three years of practice,
    I can cast a few spells.
[16:59] Los
    So thy intent is to expand thy repertoire
    through years of diligent training?
[17:05] Saybil
    Is that... not enough?
[17:07] Los
    I would not say that.
[17:09] Los
    The path, however, may well be harsher
    than losing thy memories.
[17:13] Los
    Magic is a new art.
    Some will fear and detest it.
[17:18] Los
    If mages repel that malice with violence,
    their reputation will plummet to the ground.
[17:25] Los
    But not fighting back means
    being tortured to death.
[17:28] Los
    'Tis a valid option to forget everything
    and start a new life, in my opinion.
[17:35] Los
    Now, then. It should be ready now.
[17:39] Hort
    But for a witch to eat a meal made
    with the witch-eating staff...
[17:44] Hort
    Doesn't it kinda feel like cannibalism?
[17:46] Los
    No!
[17:48] Los
    Thou madest me imagine it momentarily!
[17:53] Underling 1
    We found the academy brats,
    just as the informant said.
[18:00] the Tyrant
    Which group seems tougher?
[18:03] Underling 1
    One group had a lizard beastfallen.
[18:06] the Tyrant
    A beastfallen studying magic?
[18:08] the Tyrant
    How cute. That's funny.
[18:10] the Tyrant
    The monsters the witches
     used for sacrifices
[18:14] the Tyrant
    are gonna cast magic themselves now?
[18:17] Underling 1
    Let's start with the beastfallen, then.
[18:19] the Tyrant
    Yeah. I'll crush him.
[18:22] the Tyrant
    We gotta teach the trash
    of Wenias once and for all...
[18:28] the Tyrant
    There ain't gonna be no peace
    between the Church and witches!
[18:36] the Tyrant
    Gather everyone and lay the traps!
[18:40] the Tyrant
    The lizard hunt begins!
[18:44] Los
    My, my. Not quite on schedule,
    but we made it to the inn.
[18:50] Hort
    Yummy...
[18:54] Saybil
    You sure have a big appetite, Hort.
[18:56] Hort
    N-No I don't!
[18:58] Los
    Most mages are big eaters.
[19:02] Los
    It comes from an effort
    to recover lost magic through food.
[19:07] Saybil
    I don't eat that much, though.
[19:09] Los
    Thou art an exception.
    As are witches with no magic like me.
[19:14] Los
    Thus,
[19:15] Los
    when witch hunters spot
    a slender-figured big eater,
[19:19] Los
    they always take note.
[19:21] Hort
    You should've said that earlier!
[19:25] Student 2
    That darned Kudo.
[19:27] Student 1
    For real.
[19:28] Student 1
    That asshole—
[19:30] Student 1
    Oh?
[19:31] Student 1
    Saybil.
[19:32] Student 1
    Thank goodness. You went
    with the escorting professor, right?
[19:36] Student 2
    We were attacked by thieves last night.
[19:39] Student 1
    We were considering
    returning to the academy.
[19:43] Hort
    What? Your stuff was stolen?
[19:45] Student 1
    No. Kudo ran off alone with the map!
[19:49] Saybil
    Kudo did that? Really?
[19:52] Student 2
    Excuse me? It's true. He ran off.
[19:57] Los
    How strange.
[19:59] Los
    Kudo ran away and you two
    are unharmed. Nothing stolen.
[20:05] Los
    Looks aside, you're young men.
[20:09] Los
    If captured, you'd fetch a price.
[20:11] Los
    The logical target is you two, not Kudo.
[20:15] Los
    But since you two are here unharmed,
    they chased after Kudo.
[20:21] Los
    Why?
[20:22] Student 1
    Don't ask me!
[20:24] Student 2
    Kudo called us dead weight!
[20:27] Student 1
    He shouted that small fry who can't cast
    aren't even worth protecting.
[20:32] Los
    Ah, the answer is clear:
[20:34] Los
    witch hunters.
[20:39] Los
    Kudo noticed immediately,
[20:42] Los
    asserting unnecessarily loudly
    that he was the only mage.
[20:44] Los
    He made sure his academy
    buddies could escape.
[20:50] Los
    'Twas brute courage,
    foolhardy though it was.
[20:56] Saybil
    Kudo once told me...
[20:59] Saybil
    He said he entered
    the academy to protect people.
[21:04] Saybil
    One time I fell behind in class
    and was being bullied.
[21:11] Saybil
    He protected me then, too.
[21:14] Saybil
    He's not a bad guy.
[21:17] Los
    I shall go.
[21:19] Los
    'Twas my error to permit him
    to travel separately.
[21:25] Saybil
    I'll go with you!
[21:26] Hort
    M-Me, too!
[21:27] Los
    No.
[21:29] Los
    Against witch hunters, fledgling
    mages would only get in the way.
[21:34] Saybil
    But...
[21:35] Los
    Silence!
[21:37] Los
    You will do as I say and wait here!
[21:42] Hort
    She left us behind.
[21:44] Saybil
    Yeah.
[21:45] Hort
    But I can't just sit here and wait.
[21:48] Saybil
    Yeah...
[21:50] Hort
    Which means!
[21:51] Hort
    It's time to use the handkerchief Professor
    Los gave you when you were barfing!
[21:57] Hort
    I'll scry for her location!
[22:01] Saybil
    Hort, you're a little too excited
    about breaking the rules.
[22:23] Hort
    Found her!
[22:27] Saybil
    You're accurately tracking
    a moving target. You're incredible.
[22:34] Hort
    Still, I can't believe those two.
[22:37] (Flashback) Student 2
    You want us to look for Kudo?!
[22:39] (Flashback) Student 1
    Hell no! I'm not getting
     expelled over this.
[22:43] (Flashback) Student 1
    Not for a beastfallen!
[22:47] Hort
    They're the worst!
[22:49] Saybil
    If you'd asked with a smile,
    I think they would have agreed.
[22:53] Hort
    I only force a smile for
     people I deem worthy!
[22:58] Saybil
    But you smile at me.
[23:02] Hort
    Actually, around you,
    I just get naturally smiley!
[23:07] Hort
    I'm not forcing it!
[23:09] Hort
    That probably means...
[23:12] Hort
    I think I must like you, Sayb!
[23:15] Saybil
    What?!
[23:17] Hort
    Did you just go, "What?!"
[23:19] Saybil
    Sorry. I didn't expect that.
[23:21] Hort
    Uh...
[23:22] Hort
    Don't misunderstand me!
    I like you as a friend, okay?
[23:26] Saybil
    That's still a surprise to me...
[23:33] Saybil
    What is it?
[23:34] Hort
    S-Sayb, look...
[23:45] Saybil and Hort
    Kudo!
[23:48] Saybil
    Did he let his tail take the fall?
[23:50] Hort
    Sayb! This is no time for jokes!
[23:56] Los
    I really hate that.
SIGN    Next Episode "Don't Call Me a Traitor"
[23:57] Los
    They end on a bloody cliffhanger
    to make thee watch next time!
[24:02] Los
    So, what's the next episode?
[24:04] Saybil
    Next Episode: "Don't Call Me a Traitor."
[24:06] Los
    Who means to betray us?!