# E1 - The Remedial Student and the Witch of the Staff
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GEVUZ4Z3Z/the-remedial-student-and-the-witch-of-the-staff)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:02] Saybil**
*I can't remember...*
**[00:07] Zero**
Your eyes
**[00:09] Zero**
are the same as mine, young man.
**[00:15] Saybil**
*...who she is...*
**[00:20] Zero**
Come.
**[00:21] Zero**
I shall take you to a world
befitting of you.
**[00:28] Saybil**
*...or who I am.*
***SIGN*** Three Years Later
***SIGN*** Kingdom of Wenias Royal Academy of Magic
**[00:37] Guy**
It's a summons.
**[00:39] Girl**
Who's this "Saybil?"
**[00:40] Guy**
You know. That gloomy, mysterious guy.
**[00:43] Guy**
To see the Headmaster?
**[00:45] Girl**
What does that mean?
**[00:47] Kudo**
A summons? What did he do?
**[00:50] Student A (male)**
Well, you know he has the worst
grades in the academy—
**[00:54] Student A (male)**
It's probably to tell him he's expelled.
**[00:58] Hort**
What's all this? What's the fuss about?
**[01:00] Student B (female)**
A student has been summoned
to the Headmaster's office.
**[01:04] Hort**
A summons? What for?
**[01:07] Student B (female)**
Who knows? But they say
Headmaster Albus is super scary.
**[01:11] Student B (female)**
Poor dude.
**[01:15] Los**
Hear me! Come out, Albus!
**[01:19] Los**
Wilt thou open thy door?!
**[01:21] Los**
Dost thou truly not hear me?
**[01:25] Los**
If so, I look quite the fool.
**[01:28] Los**
'Tis worse than being ignored!
**[01:30] Los**
Hey!
**[01:32] Los**
I know thou art there!
**[01:34] Saybil**
Um...
**[01:36] Los**
What's this? A student of the academy?
**[01:39] Los**
What business hast thou with me,
promising young man?
***SIGN*** Lowest-ranked student in his year
**[01:43] Saybil**
*Promising? Me?*
**[01:48] Los**
As is plain to see, I am quite busy.
**[01:51] Los**
Begone.
**[01:53] Saybil**
The Headmaster summoned me.
**[01:55] Los**
What?
**[01:57] Los**
How splendid. A port in the storm!
**[02:00] Los**
I welcome thee!
**[02:03] Los**
Come! Quickly! Do open the door!
**[02:06] Saybil**
Um, but...
**[02:08] Saybil**
...the Headmaster didn't call
for you, correct?
**[02:12] Saybil**
If I let you in, I'll get in trouble.
**[02:17] Los**
Sound reasoning.
**[02:18] Los**
I am fond of sound reasoning.
**[02:21] Los**
Very well.
**[02:24] Los**
In that case,
**[02:26] Los**
this is mine answer!
**[02:30] Saybil**
My dear Ludens, say hello!
**[02:38] Los**
Now, cry out! Beg for thy life!
**[02:41] Los**
A precious student's life is at stake.
**[02:44] Los**
Not even Albus would ignore this!
**[02:46] Holdem**
Now, see here!
**[02:48] Holdem**
Loux Krystas!
**[02:50] Holdem**
Y-You wretch! Step away from that student!
**[02:57] Los**
My, my.
**[02:59] Los**
What have we here?
**[03:01] Los**
The third-rate servant. How time has flown by.
**[03:04] Holdem**
Can it! You're nothing but trouble
every time you show up!
**[03:09] Los**
I have business with Albus.
**[03:12] Holdem**
Go back to your lair!
**[03:17] Los**
Impossible!
**[03:28] Los**
Don't touch it!
**[03:28] Holdem**
Stop!
**[03:29] Holdem**
You got a death wish?
**[03:36] Los**
M-My staff!
**[03:39] Los**
Holdem, thou fiend!
**[03:41] Los**
Thou darest kick dear Ludens,
treasure of my lineage!
**[03:46] Los**
Know that this merits a thousand deaths!
**[03:49] Holdem**
What a tired line.
**[03:50] Los**
How mean!
**[03:56] Albus**
Holdem, what is all this racket abou—
**[04:01] Albus**
Loux Krystas!
**[04:04] Albus**
How did you get into the academy?
**[04:07] Los**
How?
**[04:10] Los**
Why, with cuteness.
**[05:43] Los**
What is this?
**[05:45] Los**
Thou didst not serve me tea,
third-rate servant!
**[05:47] Holdem**
There is no tea for intruders.
***SIGN*** Episode 1
The Remedial Student and the Witch of the Staff
**[05:49] Los**
How mean!
**[05:50] Los**
I want tea, too! And tea cakes!
**[05:52] Saybil**
A special field program?
**[05:54] Saybil**
I'm not expelled?
**[05:55] Albus**
Correct.
**[05:56] Albus**
I can't see you progressing
within the academy.
**[06:00] Albus**
So, I aim to develop you
in a different environment.
**[06:05] Saybil**
A different environment?
**[06:08] Albus**
The Church and witches were at war until
five years ago. You learned that, correct?
**[06:13] Saybil**
Yes. And that there are still
witch hunts in the south.
**[06:17] Albus**
Why do you think that is?
**[06:20] Albus**
What caused the end of witch hunts
here in the Kingdom of Wenias?
**[06:25] Saybil**
I believe the greatest factor
was the war ten years ago.
**[06:31] Saybil**
It was the evil sorcerer Thirteen.
**[06:33] Saybil**
Ten years ago,
**[06:36] Saybil**
he caused a war by spreading
magic throughout the kingdom...
**[06:41] Saybil**
to end the persecution of witches
and create a place in the world for them.
**[06:47] Albus**
You've done your homework.
**[06:49] Albus**
And that sorcerer was executed.
**[06:52] Albus**
I saw it done.
**[06:55] Saybil**
I, um...
**[06:56] Albus**
Don't be nervous. You were correct.
**[07:00] Albus**
Thirteen's methods were wrong,
**[07:03] Albus**
but the war brought magic into wide use,
**[07:05] Albus**
and it greatly changed the world's
view of witches. There's no denying it.
**[07:11] Albus**
Though it can take decades to master magic,
**[07:14] Albus**
anyone with a talent for it
can use it within a few years.
**[07:18] Albus**
Thirteen made that known to the world.
**[07:22] Albus**
That's why I created this academy,
**[07:24] Albus**
to administrate the spread of magic.
**[07:28] Albus**
The school has only been
around for four years,
**[07:30] Albus**
but magic is already integrated
into daily life in the kingdom.
**[07:35] Albus**
In the south, though, witches and mages
are unusual and still seen as "other."
**[07:39] Los**
I said I want tea! And cakes!
**[07:41] Holdem**
Let go!
**[07:43] Albus**
Holdem, let her have tea to shut her up.
**[07:49] Los**
Yum yummy nummy!
**[07:51] Albus**
Thus, I have decided to create
a witch village in the south.
**[07:56] Albus**
A village where witches are treated
as normal people, not others.
**[08:00] Albus**
I want you to serve as a mage there.
**[08:06] Albus**
If after three years the
supervisor deems you unfit,
**[08:11] Albus**
you will have all memory of magic
and the academy sealed away.
**[08:17] Saybil**
Th-Three years...
**[08:18] Los**
Oh, thought this through, haven't thou?
**[08:21] Los**
This provides thy student with training
**[08:24] Los**
and at the same time uses him
to expand thy influence!
**[08:28] Los**
Very well!
**[08:29] Los**
I am fond of efficiency.
**[08:31] Los**
The journey to this
village is treacherous.
**[08:34] Los**
I, Loux Krystas, the Dawn Witch, shall bring
my 300 years of experience to the job!
**[08:40] Albus**
No, you see, I already arranged
for a witch escort...
**[08:44] Los**
I sent that witch away.
**[08:48] Albus**
Excuse me?
**[08:49] Los**
Behold, the commission letter.
**[08:51] Los**
She gladly accepted my offer
to switch jobs and left.
**[08:59] Albus**
Are you daft?!
**[09:01] Albus**
This is why witches drive me mad!
**[09:03] Albus**
Every one of them, selfish! Decadent!
No spirit of cooperation!
**[09:07] Los**
So hyperbolic. Am I not
offering to cooperate?
**[09:11] Los**
All I require is permission to peruse
**[09:14] Los**
the world's first manual on magic,
*The Grimoire of Zero*.
**[09:18] Saybil**
*The Grimoire of Zero*...
**[09:20] Albus**
I've told you a thousand times.
That is a forbidden text.
**[09:24] Albus**
Permission cannot be granted.
**[09:27] Los**
Thy justification is that the tome
is dangerous, no?
**[09:29] Los**
That one could destroy the world with it?
**[09:32] Los**
I harbor, however, no fondness
for causing suffering.
**[09:36] Albus**
You will receive no special
treatment. That's final.
**[09:41] Albus**
But...
**[09:42] Albus**
...yes.
**[09:45] Albus**
I could let you meet
the author of the grimoire.
**[09:48] Los**
Th-The Mud-Black Witch?!
**[09:51] Holdem**
But my lady! That's...
**[09:54] Albus**
I can arrange a meeting,
**[09:56] Albus**
but I cannot guarantee
she'll talk about magic.
**[10:00] Albus**
You might not even recognize
that it's her when you meet.
**[10:05] Los**
I am Loux Krystas, the Dawn Witch!
**[10:08] Los**
I shan't be fooled by any disguise!
***SIGN*** Entrance to the Southern Tunnel (Witch Gallows)
**[10:15] Los**
Over here!
**[10:17] Los**
Right here!
**[10:20] Saybil**
Thank goodness.
**[10:21] Los**
What? Is this your first trip
outside the kingdom?
**[10:24] Hort**
Oh, I found you! I'm not too late!
**[10:30] Hort**
You're going to the village
field program, right?
**[10:32] Hort**
I'm Hort!
**[10:34] Hort**
I'm a fourth-year student.
One year ahead of you!
**[10:36] Hort**
I'll be coming with you!
**[10:38] Saybil**
Huh? But aren't you...?
**[10:40] Hort**
You're Professor Los, right?
A pleasure to meet you.
**[10:43] Los**
Oh, "professor," eh?
**[10:46] Kudo**
I ain't goin' with you.
**[10:48] Kudo**
I'm a seasoned traveler.
I don't need an escort.
**[10:52] Saybil**
Kudo.
**[10:54] Kudo**
I'll be taking these two with me.
To the village.
**[10:59] Los**
You came just to decline mine
escort? How conscientious.
**[11:04] Kudo**
I just didn't want my grades to be docked!
**[11:08] Los**
Ah, I see. A coward, then.
**[11:12] Kudo**
Shut up!
**[11:13] Saybil**
Wow. He's blushing.
**[11:15] Kudo**
No, I'm angry!
**[11:18] Kudo**
Tell me something, Saybil.
**[11:20] Kudo**
What's the worst student in school
doing in the special program?
**[11:25] Saybil**
Good question. Everyone else
has excellent grades.
**[11:29] Student 1**
C'mon, Kudo!
**[11:31] Student 2**
Let's get moving!
**[11:34] Kudo**
Since you understand you don't belong,
go back to the academy and drop out.
**[11:40] Kudo**
For your own good.
**[11:42] Hort**
What's his problem?
**[11:45] Hort**
As a beastfallen, doesn't he know
to at least soften his attitude?
**[11:50] Saybil**
I don't expect him to.
**[11:52] Hort**
Huh?
**[11:53] Saybil**
It seems wrong to hold
beastfallen to separate standards.
**[11:57] Saybil**
He's practically honest to a fault,
and I find that reassuring.
**[12:05] Hort**
Sayb, you're so cool!
**[12:07] Saybil**
Huh?
**[12:08] Hort**
You helped me change the way I think!
**[12:12] Los**
Come. Time to go.
**[12:14] Hort**
Yes, ma'am!
**[12:20] Los**
We must pass through the tunnel
and find a carriage at once,
**[12:23] Los**
and then reach an inn before sunset.
**[12:26] Saybil**
What is it, Hort?
**[12:28] Hort**
Oh, nothing!
**[12:29] Hort**
Professor Los!
**[12:31] Hort**
Are you hungry?
**[12:33] Los**
Here. 'Tis hot.
**[12:37] Hort**
Professor?
**[12:38] Hort**
Did you just feed your staff a skewer?!
**[12:41] Los**
Sure. 'Tis a perfectly normal occurrence.
**[12:44] Hort**
N-No, it isn't!
**[12:46] Hort**
Wait, is your staff...?
**[12:49] Los**
Indeed, the Staff of Ludens.
The witch eater, just as thou fearest.
**[12:55] Hort**
I knew it!
**[12:56] Hort**
When someone touches it, it consumes
their magic and kills them, right?
**[13:00] Saybil**
Oh...
**[13:02] Saybil**
That's why they stopped me...
**[13:04] Hort**
You tried to touch it?
**[13:06] Saybil**
I mean, Professor Los
was handling it no problem.
**[13:08] Hort**
Oh, that's true.
**[13:11] Hort**
So it doesn't necessarily kill you, then.
**[13:15] Los**
No, it does.
**[13:18] Los**
We formed a pact.
**[13:20] Los**
Even with my magic fully depleted,
Ludens keeps me alive.
**[13:24] Los**
My dear Ludens and I
are one in body and soul!
**[13:28] Los**
Oh, my dear, sweet Ludens!
**[13:31] Hort**
Sayb, that's my skewer!
**[13:33] Saybil**
What?
**[13:34] Saybil**
Oh. S-Sorry.
**[13:38] Hort**
I set it aside and everything! Spit it up!
**[13:41] Los**
I don't see why thou
wouldst eat spat-up food.
**[13:45] Hort**
Th-That's not the issue!
**[13:48] Hort**
Oh, jeez!
**[13:49] Hort**
Don't blame me if you get a tummy ache!
**[13:55] Hort**
S-Sayb!
**[13:57] Los**
'Tis an extraordinary level
of motion sickness.
**[14:01] Los**
Here. I shall lend thee
my favorite handkerchief.
**[14:04] Saybil**
Th-Thank you.
**[14:08] Saybil**
I was totally fine the last time
I rode in a carriage.
**[14:12] Hort**
Professor! Sayb is gonna die!
**[14:15] Los**
I get it. Calm down.
**[14:17] Los**
Driver!
**[14:19] Los**
Stop the carriage. We need
to get off to prevent a casualty.
**[14:30] Saybil**
W-Wow.
**[14:32] Saybil**
That's Solm, right?
**[14:35] Saybil**
You can already cast it
without an incantation.
**[14:37] Saybil**
No wonder you're the top student.
**[14:40] Hort**
What? Y-You knew?
**[14:43] Saybil**
Yeah. You're famous.
**[14:45] Saybil**
Sorry you're stuck with me...
**[14:47] Hort**
Huh?
**[14:49] Hort**
It's not like I'm perfect
at everything myself.
**[14:52] Saybil**
You're smart *and* nice. Wow.
**[14:57] Hort**
I'm not all that nice.
**[15:01] Hort**
I'm just well-practiced.
**[15:04] Hort**
See? Check out this smile!
**[15:10] Saybil**
You look so cute.
**[15:11] Hort**
I do, don't I? Very candid, Sayb!
**[15:14] Hort**
That's my special skill.
**[15:16] Hort**
If you keep smiling, it's easier
to get people to like you.
**[15:20] Hort**
Before I entered the academy,
**[15:22] Hort**
I couldn't even get decent
meals without smiling.
**[15:26] Hort**
But I guess all the kids who chose
to attend had issues, right?
**[15:32] Hort**
Especially the teenage students like us...
**[15:35] Hort**
We wanted the power to change things...
**[15:40] Hort**
What about you, Sayb? Got a story, too?
**[15:43] Saybil**
I...
**[15:44] Saybil**
don't remember anything
before the academy.
**[15:47] Hort**
What?
**[15:49] Saybil**
I don't even remember
taking the entrance exam.
**[15:51] Saybil**
If I'm expelled, I'll lose
my memories of the academy, too.
**[15:55] Saybil**
Then I'll truly be empty...
**[15:58] Saybil**
So, I have no choice but to become a mage.
**[16:02] Saybil**
And yet I can barely even—
**[16:04] Los**
'Tis quite a passive reason,
"I have no choice."
**[16:10] Saybil**
Professor Los...
**[16:12] Hort**
Professor, your staff!
**[16:14] Hort**
Are you using the Staff of Ludens as a pot?!
**[16:17] Los**
Don't put it so rudely!
**[16:20] Los**
I am simply having my dear
Ludens carry water for me.
**[16:24] Los**
Now, what were you saying?
**[16:26] Saybil**
Huh?
**[16:27] Saybil**
Well, um...
**[16:29] Saybil**
I can barely cast magic at all.
**[16:35] Los**
Your spells get out of control?
**[16:37] Saybil**
Yes.
**[16:38] Saybil**
But when I try to restrain them,
I can't cast at all.
**[16:42] Los**
I see. Perhaps Kudo spoke true.
'Twould be best to quit.
**[16:49] Los**
Nothing is more dangerous
than casting without control.
**[16:54] Saybil**
But after three years of practice,
I can cast a few spells.
**[16:59] Los**
So thy intent is to expand thy repertoire
through years of diligent training?
**[17:05] Saybil**
Is that... not enough?
**[17:07] Los**
I would not say that.
**[17:09] Los**
The path, however, may well be harsher
than losing thy memories.
**[17:13] Los**
Magic is a new art.
Some will fear and detest it.
**[17:18] Los**
If mages repel that malice with violence,
their reputation will plummet to the ground.
**[17:25] Los**
But not fighting back means
being tortured to death.
**[17:28] Los**
'Tis a valid option to forget everything
and start a new life, in my opinion.
**[17:35] Los**
Now, then. It should be ready now.
**[17:39] Hort**
But for a witch to eat a meal made
with the witch-eating staff...
**[17:44] Hort**
Doesn't it kinda feel like cannibalism?
**[17:46] Los**
No!
**[17:48] Los**
Thou madest me imagine it momentarily!
**[17:53] Underling 1**
We found the academy brats,
just as the informant said.
**[18:00] the Tyrant**
Which group seems tougher?
**[18:03] Underling 1**
One group had a lizard beastfallen.
**[18:06] the Tyrant**
A beastfallen studying magic?
**[18:08] the Tyrant**
How cute. That's funny.
**[18:10] the Tyrant**
The monsters the witches
used for sacrifices
**[18:14] the Tyrant**
are gonna cast magic themselves now?
**[18:17] Underling 1**
Let's start with the beastfallen, then.
**[18:19] the Tyrant**
Yeah. I'll crush him.
**[18:22] the Tyrant**
We gotta teach the trash
of Wenias once and for all...
**[18:28] the Tyrant**
There ain't gonna be no peace
between the Church and witches!
**[18:36] the Tyrant**
Gather everyone and lay the traps!
**[18:40] the Tyrant**
The lizard hunt begins!
**[18:44] Los**
My, my. Not quite on schedule,
but we made it to the inn.
**[18:50] Hort**
Yummy...
**[18:54] Saybil**
You sure have a big appetite, Hort.
**[18:56] Hort**
N-No I don't!
**[18:58] Los**
Most mages are big eaters.
**[19:02] Los**
It comes from an effort
to recover lost magic through food.
**[19:07] Saybil**
I don't eat that much, though.
**[19:09] Los**
Thou art an exception.
As are witches with no magic like me.
**[19:14] Los**
Thus,
**[19:15] Los**
when witch hunters spot
a slender-figured big eater,
**[19:19] Los**
they always take note.
**[19:21] Hort**
You should've said that earlier!
**[19:25] Student 2**
That darned Kudo.
**[19:27] Student 1**
For real.
**[19:28] Student 1**
That asshole—
**[19:30] Student 1**
Oh?
**[19:31] Student 1**
Saybil.
**[19:32] Student 1**
Thank goodness. You went
with the escorting professor, right?
**[19:36] Student 2**
We were attacked by thieves last night.
**[19:39] Student 1**
We were considering
returning to the academy.
**[19:43] Hort**
What? Your stuff was stolen?
**[19:45] Student 1**
No. Kudo ran off alone with the map!
**[19:49] Saybil**
Kudo did that? Really?
**[19:52] Student 2**
Excuse me? It's true. He ran off.
**[19:57] Los**
How strange.
**[19:59] Los**
Kudo ran away and you two
are unharmed. Nothing stolen.
**[20:05] Los**
Looks aside, you're young men.
**[20:09] Los**
If captured, you'd fetch a price.
**[20:11] Los**
The logical target is you two, not Kudo.
**[20:15] Los**
But since you two are here unharmed,
they chased after Kudo.
**[20:21] Los**
Why?
**[20:22] Student 1**
Don't ask me!
**[20:24] Student 2**
Kudo called us dead weight!
**[20:27] Student 1**
He shouted that small fry who can't cast
aren't even worth protecting.
**[20:32] Los**
Ah, the answer is clear:
**[20:34] Los**
witch hunters.
**[20:39] Los**
Kudo noticed immediately,
**[20:42] Los**
asserting unnecessarily loudly
that he was the only mage.
**[20:44] Los**
He made sure his academy
buddies could escape.
**[20:50] Los**
'Twas brute courage,
foolhardy though it was.
**[20:56] Saybil**
Kudo once told me...
**[20:59] Saybil**
He said he entered
the academy to protect people.
**[21:04] Saybil**
One time I fell behind in class
and was being bullied.
**[21:11] Saybil**
He protected me then, too.
**[21:14] Saybil**
He's not a bad guy.
**[21:17] Los**
I shall go.
**[21:19] Los**
'Twas my error to permit him
to travel separately.
**[21:25] Saybil**
I'll go with you!
**[21:26] Hort**
M-Me, too!
**[21:27] Los**
No.
**[21:29] Los**
Against witch hunters, fledgling
mages would only get in the way.
**[21:34] Saybil**
But...
**[21:35] Los**
Silence!
**[21:37] Los**
You will do as I say and wait here!
**[21:42] Hort**
She left us behind.
**[21:44] Saybil**
Yeah.
**[21:45] Hort**
But I can't just sit here and wait.
**[21:48] Saybil**
Yeah...
**[21:50] Hort**
Which means!
**[21:51] Hort**
It's time to use the handkerchief Professor
Los gave you when you were barfing!
**[21:57] Hort**
I'll scry for her location!
**[22:01] Saybil**
Hort, you're a little too excited
about breaking the rules.
**[22:23] Hort**
Found her!
**[22:27] Saybil**
You're accurately tracking
a moving target. You're incredible.
**[22:34] Hort**
Still, I can't believe those two.
**[22:37] (Flashback) Student 2**
You want us to look for Kudo?!
**[22:39] (Flashback) Student 1**
Hell no! I'm not getting
expelled over this.
**[22:43] (Flashback) Student 1**
Not for a beastfallen!
**[22:47] Hort**
They're the worst!
**[22:49] Saybil**
If you'd asked with a smile,
I think they would have agreed.
**[22:53] Hort**
I only force a smile for
people I deem worthy!
**[22:58] Saybil**
But you smile at me.
**[23:02] Hort**
Actually, around you,
I just get naturally smiley!
**[23:07] Hort**
I'm not forcing it!
**[23:09] Hort**
That probably means...
**[23:12] Hort**
I think I must like you, Sayb!
**[23:15] Saybil**
What?!
**[23:17] Hort**
Did you just go, "What?!"
**[23:19] Saybil**
Sorry. I didn't expect that.
**[23:21] Hort**
Uh...
**[23:22] Hort**
Don't misunderstand me!
I like you as a friend, okay?
**[23:26] Saybil**
That's still a surprise to me...
**[23:33] Saybil**
What is it?
**[23:34] Hort**
S-Sayb, look...
**[23:45] Saybil and Hort**
Kudo!
**[23:48] Saybil**
Did he let his tail take the fall?
**[23:50] Hort**
Sayb! This is no time for jokes!
**[23:56] Los**
I really hate that.
***SIGN*** Next Episode "Don't Call Me a Traitor"
**[23:57] Los**
They end on a bloody cliffhanger
to make thee watch next time!
**[24:02] Los**
So, what's the next episode?
**[24:04] Saybil**
Next Episode: "Don't Call Me a Traitor."
**[24:06] Los**
Who means to betray us?!