E5 - Political Marriage?! Are You Kidding Me?!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Hohenheim
    That concludes our true baptism.
[00:04] Hohenheim
    Please have a seat.
[00:06] Hohenheim
    The tea will be ready soon.
[00:12] Well
    Cardinal Hohenheim...
[00:16] Well
    I would like to express my sincere
    gratitude to you for inviting one
[00:21] ---
    as young as I to partake in a true baptism.
[00:26] Well
    I have heard that such a baptism
    is a great honor that is typically
[00:29] ---
    bestowed only upon the chosen,
[00:31] Well
    so I could not be more grateful that you
[00:33] ---
    have granted me such an honor.
[00:36] Well
    This is merely a trifle,
[00:39] ---
    but please accept my offering.
[00:44] Hohenheim
    Baronet Baumeister,
    may God grant you protection.
[00:53] Hohenheim
    Yes, enter.
[00:58] Elise
    Please excuse me.
[01:06] Hohenheim
    This is my granddaughter.
[01:10] Hohenheim
    Go on, introduce yourself.
[01:15] Elise
    I am Elise Katarina von Hohenheim.
[01:20] Well
    I'm Wendelin von Benno Baumeister.
[01:27] Hohenheim
    So you've noticed, have you?
[01:30] Well
    She possesses magic power, doesn't she?
[01:32] Hohenheim
    Yes, she can use holy healing magic.
[01:35] Well
    Healing? That's incredible.
[01:38] Well
    The only holy magic
    I can use is purification.
[01:41] Hohenheim
    Oh, no, it's impressive
    that you can use any all.
[01:45] Well
    So do you heal the wounded
    here at this church?
[01:48] Hohenheim
    Yes.
[01:49] ---
    We have several other nuns in training who
    perform charity and distribute food, as well,
[01:54] Hohenheim
    so many of the people call
    her the "Saint" Hohenheim.
[02:00] Well
    That's wonderful.
[02:01] Well
    So she'll become a member of the clergy?
[02:06] Hohenheim
    Personally, I would prefer for her
    to get married, like a normal girl.
[02:12] Well
    Elise is quite beautiful, though.
[02:15] ---
    Wouldn't there be competition for her?
[02:17] Hohenheim
    To be honest, there are many
    families asking for her.
[02:20] Well
    Oh? Then maybe I should join the running, too.
[02:25] Hohenheim
    Oh? You would take my
    granddaughter to be your wife?
[02:29] Well
    I'm still underage,
[02:31] ---
    so it would just be an engagement.
[02:33] Hohenheim
    That's true. Elise is also only 12,
[02:37] Hohenheim
    so what would you think of having the
    proper wedding once you're of age?
[02:42] Well
    I guess that means I'd be bidding the
    bachelor life farewell in three years.
[02:47] Well
    Then it'd finally be time
    to pay the piper, huh?
[03:01] Hohenheim
    All right, then, so it shall be.
[03:04] Well
    So it shall be?
[03:07] Hohenheim
    Yes, so it shall be.
[03:09] Well
    Huh? I thought we were just
    having a chat about business...
[03:16] Well
    One minute after I met her, we were engaged.
SIGN    The 8th Son?
     Are You Kidding Me?
SIGN    The 8th Son?
     Are You Kidding Me?
SIGN    The 8th Son?
     Are You Kidding Me?
SIGN    The 8th Son?
     Are You Kidding Me?
SIGN    The 8th Son?
     Are You Kidding Me?
SIGN    The 8th Son?
     Are You Kidding Me?
SIGN    The 8th Son?
     Are You Kidding Me?
SIGN    The 8th Son?
     Are You Kidding Me?
SIGN    Episode 5
    Political Marriage?! Are You Kidding Me?!
[04:51] Hohenheim
    Inviting him over for a true baptism and
    securing the engagement right there...
[04:56] Hohenheim
    Perhaps I was too pushy?
[04:58] Sebastian
    I believe it was very fitting of you, my lord.
[05:03] Sebastian
    But I do wonder what we're going to say to
[05:06] ---
    Duke Bleichröder, the Lord
    of the Baumeister family.
[05:10] Hohenheim
    That is why I first obtained
    His Majesty's pledge.
[05:14] Hohenheim
    Even the Duke won't be able to object
    when I have His Majesty's backing.
[05:18] Sebastian
    Impressive, my lord.
[05:23] Hohenheim
    More importantly, look at this offering.
[05:27] Hohenheim
    It couldn't be more unbelievable.
[05:32] Sebastian
    For a young boy, he has a good understanding
    of the power the church wields.
[05:36] Hohenheim
    I guess using magic isn't
    all he's capable of.
[05:41] Sebastian
    The Hohenheim family holds
    the rank of viscount,
[05:44] Sebastian
    so you always said the man to marry
    Lady Elise must be at least a Baron,
[05:50] Sebastian
    but now I understand why you
    would choose Baronet Baumeister,
[05:55] Sebastian
    even if it took me some time to see it.
[06:00] Sebastian
    Your judgment is quite sound, my lord.
[06:03] Hohenheim
    For now, at least.
[06:10] Er
    I can't believe you went to get
    baptized and came back engaged.
[06:14] Iina
    And to "Saint" Hohenheim of all people.
[06:17] Louise
    Lineage and a good personality—she's perfect!
[06:21] Well
    But it happened just a minute after I met her.
[06:24] Well
    Is that really enough to determine the
    partner I'm supposed to share a long life with?
[06:31] Iina
    But isn't that just how marriage is?
[06:34] Er
    Yeah. It's unusual to even have
    one minute with them first.
[06:38] Well
    No, no! You're supposed to spend
    more time cultivating love and...
[06:43] Erich
    We didn't meet our wives until
    the very day we were wed.
[06:46] Well
    Huh?
[06:48] Miriam
    It was the same for my parents, too.
[06:50] Erich
    I think it was the same for
    Brother Kurt and Amalie.
[06:55] Well
    Really?
[06:57] Miriam
    Yes.
[06:58] Miriam
    Okay, now, close your eyes.
[07:02] Well
    I see. There's no such thing
[07:05] Well
    as romantic marriages for nobles.
[07:10] Clerk
    Hey, look at that.
[07:12] Well
    So... what's the deal with this disguise?
[07:17] Er
    I mean, you said you wanted to
    see the sights of the capital without
[07:21] ---
    being noticed by the guy who
    wanted to be your retainer.
[07:23] Well
    I know...
[07:25] Well
    And no one is noticing who I am, but...
[07:30] Er
    Just enjoy yourself!
[07:32] Er
    Maybe buy a souvenir for the wife.
[07:36] Well
    Wife, huh?
[07:37] Er
    I'm sure she's thinking,
[07:39] ---
    "I'm marrying the Dragon Slayer?
    Lucky me!" right about now.
[07:44] Well
    You really think she is?
[07:46] Er
    I mean, you said she was
    smiling the whole time, right?
[07:49] Well
    But that was in front of her
    grandfather. Who knows...
[07:54] Well
    what she really thinks deep down?
[08:10] Well
    That's the guy who keeps
    asking to be my retainer!
[08:13] Er
    Don't worry. He'll never realize it's you.
[08:16] Roderich
    Sir Baumeister!
[08:21] Roderich
    You're dressed quite comically,
[08:23] Roderich
    but those teeth belong to Sir Baumeister,
[08:26] Roderich
    so I noticed right away!
[08:29] Well
    Um, could you keep the volume down?
[08:33] HopefulA
    I knew it! That man is the Dragon Slayer!
[08:36] HopefulB
    Sir Baumeister! Please make me your retainer!
[08:40] Er
    Here they come! Here they come!
[08:41] Roderich
    Then behold!
[08:43] Roderich
    The third form of my Spinning Spear!
[08:50] Er
    I can't believe you can't see any of
    the sights when it's summer break.
[08:56] Er
    I feel bad for you.
[08:57] Erich
    Why don't you actually hire a retainer?
[09:00] Erich
    Then you could have them turn
    down all those asking to be one.
[09:05] Er
    Oh, then how about I be your retainer?
[09:08] Well
    Huh? Oh...
[09:10] Well
    Let's go with that, then.
[09:12] Er
    For real?
[09:14] Er
    Hold on, are you serious?
[09:16] Er
    Huh? Wait, wait... What?
[09:20] Well
    Well, I'm heading out for a bit,
     so I'll see you later.
[09:27] Er
    Um, did I just become a retainer?
[09:31] Er
    I did, right?
[09:33] Erich
    Yeah.
[09:34] Erich
    Congratulations, Erwin.
[09:37] Er
    I did it.
[10:04] Elise
    Baronet Baumeister?
[10:08] Elise
    What are you doing there?
[10:30] Well
    I'm sorry about that.
[10:32] Elise
    It's all right.
[10:36] Well
    I bought these earlier.
    I thought we could share them.
[10:41] Well
    Huh?!
[10:45] Well
    They're all crushed...
[10:47] Well
    Um, the truth is, I wanted to talk.
[10:51] Elise
    In that case, let's go down.
[10:52] Elise
    I'll prepare us some tea.
[10:54] Well
    Oh...
[10:56] Well
    I meant just the two of us, if possible.
[11:03] Elise
    Very well.
[11:10] Well
    It's about our engagement this morning...
[11:16] Well
    I wanted...
[11:18] Well
    I wanted to ask you how
    you felt about all this.
[11:23] Elise
    I think it's a nice arrangement.
[11:27] Well
    A nice arrangement?
[11:28] Well
    What do you mean?
[11:30] Elise
    I can see why my grandfather has chosen you.
[11:34] Well
    But you don't know anything about me, do you?
[11:38] Elise
    There isn't a soul in the capital
[11:41] ---
    who doesn't know about the heroics of
    Baronet Baumeister, the Dragon Slayer.
[11:46] Well
    The... heroics?
[11:49] Elise
    I'm happy that I'll become
     the wife of such a man.
[11:56] Well
    Then I'm glad.
[12:04] Iina
    I can't believe Er became Well's retainer.
[12:08] Louise
    All while we were out
    buying fancy clothes, too.
[12:13] Iina
    Though I kind of thought something like this
    might happen after Well became a baronet.
[12:20] Louise
    There's still time!
[12:22] Louise
    Let's have Well hire us, too!
[12:23] Er
    I see. So you're hoping
    to be his retainers, too.
[12:30] Er
    It's my job to tell you to take a hike,
[12:34] Er
    but okay, roger that.
[12:36] Er
    I'll put in a good word for you with Well.
[12:40] Both
    Thanks.
[12:41] Er
    I'm glad, though.
[12:43] Er
    I always wanted to have juniors.
[12:50] Iina
    Wait, wait!
[12:52] Iina
    So we'll be his juniors?
[12:54] Louise
    No way!
[12:55] Louise
    If he tries to treat me like I'm beneath him,
[12:57] Louise
    I'll beat him to death on
    my first day of the job!
[13:00] Louise
    I'll murder him by morning!
[13:02] Iina
    But at this rate...
[13:04] Louise
    C'mon, isn't there anything
    we can do to get above him?!
[13:07] Miriam
    Hello? Is there anyone here who
    could help me peel potatoes?
[13:12] Er
    Yes!
[13:16] Erich
    I'll help peel them, too.
[13:19] Louise
    Iina!
[13:21] Louise
    That's it!
[13:22] Louise
    That's how we get above Er!
[13:28] Iina
    You don't mean...
[13:29] Louise
    Yeah!
[13:30] Louise
    We aim to be his wives!
[13:34] Iina
    But there's Elise...
[13:35] Louise
    So we aim to be concubines!
[13:40] Iina
    That's true. It's common for
    nobles to have concubines.
[13:44] Louise
    Since we're daughters of military
    retainers, it might be impossible
[13:48] Louise
    for us to be official wives,
[13:50] Louise
    but we can still become concubines!
[13:53] Iina
    It might be possible.
[13:54] Louise
    Then, once we're with him,
[13:56] Louise
    we can use our privileged position
    to work Er like a cart horse!
[14:06] Well
    I'm home.
[14:08] Louise
    Okay, time to commence Operation
    Concubine Seduction!
[14:13] Iina
    Operation Concubine Seduction?
[14:16] Louise
    Just watch.
[14:40] Miriam
    Dinner is ready!
[14:42] Well
    Okay.
[15:00] Iina
    What are you doing? You just bought that.
[15:03] Louise
    I'm making a new outfit for
    Operation Concubine Seduction II.
[15:10] Iina
    You're remarkable, Louise.
[15:13] Iina
    I can't be that aggressive
    about things like this.
[15:17] Louise
    I can't, either.
[15:20] Louise
    But if I manage to become Well's concubine,
[15:23] Louise
    then one day, I might be able to
    open a school to teach my own style.
[15:28] Louise
    Then my family might finally recognize me.
[15:35] Iina
    I'm sorry.
[15:37] Iina
    You're right. I'll do my best, too.
[15:40] Louise
    There, all done!
[15:42] Louise
    This one's yours, Iina!
[15:44] Iina
    Huh? There's one for me?
[15:47] Iina
    Thank you!
[15:49] Louise
    Here, try it on!
[15:50] Iina
    Okay!
[15:58] Iina
    Absolutely not.
[15:59] Louise
    Huh? Why not?
[16:00] Louise
    It covers what it needs to!
[16:02] Iina
    It reveals nearly everything!
[16:04] Louise
    Huh? But this is what mine's like.
[16:05] Iina
    That's just a few strings! No, threads!
[16:10] Sebastian
    Your invitation.
[16:14] Sebastian
    To have dinner with Elise tomorrow night.
[16:19] Well
    All right...
[16:34] Chef
    Tonight, we have prepared a course
    of several original dishes
[16:38] ---
    inspired by the achievements of "Saint"
    Hohenheim and the Dragon Slayer.
[16:43] Chef
    We hope you enjoy them.
[16:52] Well
    It's sea bream.
[16:57] Elise
    Yes, it's sea bream.
[17:00] Well
    It's good, isn't it?
[17:01] Elise
    Yes, it's good.
[17:04] Well
    Right?
[17:12] Well
    It was good, wasn't it?
[17:13] Elise
    Yes, it was good.
[17:17] Well
    Then I suppose I should...
[17:20] Sebastian
    Sir Baumeister...
[17:21] Sebastian
    This is your first date.
[17:24] Sebastian
    Why not be a gentleman and give
    her something to commemorate it?
[17:28] Well
    Commemorate?
[17:30] Clerk
    Dragon Slayer and "Saint" Hohenheim...
[17:34] Clerk
    Today we have prepared this selection of
    items to suit you two and your betrothal.
[17:42] Well
    He meant an engagement ring, huh?
[17:48] Well
    By the way, how much are these?
[17:51] Clerk
    Well, they range from 10 to 50 gold coins.
[17:55] Well
    So one to five million yen...
[17:58] Well
    That's nobility for you.
[18:00] Well
    Even though they're so
    ostentatious and unrefined...
[18:06] Elise
    Um, Baronet Baumeister...
[18:11] Elise
    You don't have to buy me
    something this expensive.
[18:15] Well
    It's all right.
[18:17] ---
    I received a substantial reward
    for defeating that bone dragon.
[18:30] Well
    This is...
[18:34] Clerk
    An engagement ring is something that
    "Saint" Hohenheim will wear frequently.
[18:40] Clerk
    I think that one might be too plain.
[18:47] Well
    Still, I'll take this one.
[18:49] Clerk
    As you wish.
[18:51] Well
    How much is it?
[18:53] Clerk
    This one will cost 300 gold coins.
[18:56] Well
    300 million yen?!
[18:59] Clerk
    It's specially crafted using a magic stone.
[19:02] Well
    Still, that's...
[19:07] Well
    I'll take it.
[19:08] Clerk
    Thank you very much for your purchase.
[19:24] Elise
    Baronet Baumeister...
[19:26] Well
    Yes?
[19:28] Elise
    The truth is that you were able to see
    that this ring had a magic stone, isn't it?
[19:34] Well
    Huh?
[19:35] Elise
    According to the shopkeeper we just spoke to,
[19:38] ---
    this ring is capable of
    storing great magic power.
[19:43] Elise
    So wearing this would surely
[19:46] ---
    allow me to be useful to you in the future.
[19:52] Elise
    So understanding all of that, you...
[19:53] Well
    No, to be honest, I didn't
    realize that was a magic stone.
[20:00] Elise
    Then why did you choose this one?
[20:02] Well
    Huh?
[20:04] Well
    Well, I just chose a ring
    I thought would look good on you.
[20:11] Well
    Oh, was it too plain?
[20:15] Elise
    No...
[20:18] Well
    Oh, that's a relief.
[20:22] Well
    Anyway, you're incredible, Elise.
[20:27] Well
    I mean, these past few days,
[20:29] ---
    I've been feeling the pressure of suddenly
    being called a hero or the Dragon Slayer.
[20:35] Elise
    Pressure, you say?
[20:38] Well
    Even today, part of me is wondering
    if I'm actually acting like a hero.
[20:43] Well
    I'm not even that brave.
[20:48] Well
    But you've been called a saint
    ever since you were little, right?
[20:53] Elise
    No, I wasn't...
[20:56] Well
    It must have been hard.
[20:59] Well
    Oh, right.
[21:00] Well
    They said this ring would glow
    when you put magic into it, right?
[21:04] Well
    Can I see it a moment?
[21:22] Well
    Incredible...
[21:33] Hohenheim
    So?
[21:34] Hohenheim
    What did you think of that boy?
[21:38] Sebastian
    He's a bit hard to discern.
[21:44] Sebastian
    Most men before him have treated
    Elise as "Saint" Hohenheim,
[21:52] Sebastian
    but Sir Baumeister treated
    her like a normal young girl.
[21:59] Sebastian
    I have no idea what he's thinking.
[22:03] Well
    That sea bream we had earlier...
[22:05] Well
    It would have been great
    with some soy sauce.