E9 - Thousand Kilometers

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:55] TSUKISHIRO
    Um, what should we do?
[02:00] OTSUKI
    Calm down. Let's see what they do first.
[02:03] MINAZUKI
    It's infuriating, though.
[02:06] TAMAMUSHI
    I'll kill them.
[02:09] SATSUKI
    I don't know who they are,
[02:11] SATSUKI
    but how long are they gonna
    keep us locked in here?
SIGN    #09 Deathmatch at One
     Thousand Kilometers
[02:20] KIRYU
    Did you get in touch with them?
[02:22] AD SUZUKI
    Not a peep. We can't run the show like this!
SIGN    Broadcast in 27 minutes
[02:27] TSUKISHIRO
    What are we going to do?
[02:29] TSUKISHIRO
    We got caught up something crazy again.
[02:32] ALIEN
    Rally, rally, rally.
[02:34] ALIEN
    Did you enjoy the gift,
    Minas currently operating in Japan?
[02:40] TAMAMUSHI
    So you're the one who sent that blackmail disc.
[02:43] SATSUKI
    Secretly filmin' people is dirty.
[02:46] OTSUKI
    Should you be saying that?
[02:48] SATSUKI
    It happened when I was on my way home after
    buyin' a copy of Monthly Weapons Magazine...
SIGN    Satsuki
[02:55] (Flashback) TSUTSUJI
    Huh? What's this?
[02:58] (Flashback) TSUTSUJI
    Could be an exclusive tip.
[03:02] (Flashback) TSUTSUJI
    I'm so excited.
SIGN    Behold all of Satsuki Mina's secrets
[03:07] (Flashback) TSUTSUJI
    Huh?
[03:08] ALIEN
    Sanae Tsutsuji—or rather, Satsuki Mina.
[03:12] ALIEN
    Come to the following location right away.
[03:15] ALIEN
    If you don't, I'll expose your
    identity to the whole world.
[03:20] (Flashback) MINA
    You'll expose my identity...
[03:23] (Flashback) TAKANASHI
    To the whole world?
[03:27] (Flashback) NAKORU
    Did they send this to everyone else, too?
[03:30] OTSUKI
    Yeah. I got one, too.
[03:33] OTSUKI
    Like you, my only option was
    to be captured by this UFO.
[03:37] ALIEN
    Minas.
[03:40] ALIEN
    I've been wondering,
[03:43] ALIEN
    you fancy yourselves
    guardians of Earth's sports,
[03:46] ALIEN
    but how are your own sports abilities?
[03:51] OTSUKI
    You're a Rallyan.
[03:53] MINAZUKI
    You know what they are?
[03:55] OTSUKI
    Yeah. They're passionate ping pong fans.
[03:59] ALIEN
    Rally.
[04:01] ALIEN
    Minas, I challenge you to ping pong.
[04:05] ALIEN
    If you beat me, I'll release you
    and won't reveal your identities.
[04:09] OTSUKI
    Huh. I wonder what you're planning.
[04:13] ALIEN
    I genuinely wish to play against you.
[04:18] TAMAMUSHI
    Yeah, right. After putting in all this effort?
[04:21] TAMAMUSHI
    Who would accept your challenge?
[04:23] TSUKISHIRO
    I'll do it.
[04:25] TAMAMUSHI
    What?
[04:26] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro?
[04:26] TSUKISHIRO
    We just have to win, right?
[04:29] TSUKISHIRO
    Let's get started.
[04:31] TSUKISHIRO
    I'm in a hurry.
[04:33] TSUKISHIRO
    I need to get back to Earth soon for work.
[04:37] OTSUKI
    Fine. We accept your challenge.
[04:40] OTSUKI
    But you'd better keep your word.
[04:43] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san.
[04:46] OTSUKI
    Try to calm down.
[04:47] OTSUKI
    Let's settle this quickly.
[04:50] TSUKISHIRO
    Okay.
[04:52] TAMAMUSHI
    Are you two stupid?
[04:55] SATSUKI
    All right! In that case, let me handle this.
[04:59] SATSUKI
    As a paparazza, I gotta make them
    pay for secretly filming me.
[05:05] AD SUZUKI
    We're dealing with an emergency situation.
[05:07] AD SUZUKI
    It'd be great if you could fill in for us.
[05:09] MUTSUMUNE
    Roger that. I'll be right there.
[05:14] MUTSUMUNE
    Finally, the day has come for me
    to make my SpoLuna debut!
[05:19] MUTSUMUNE
    I'm a bit disappointed
    Suiren-san is out as well,
[05:23] MUTSUMUNE
    but my time begins today.
[05:29] MUTSUMUNE
    What?!
[05:30] MUTSUMUNE
    What is this? I'm dealing
    with an emergency here!
[05:34] MUTSUMUNE
    Get out of the way! Move it!
SIGN    Broadcast in 24 minutes
[05:40] MINAZUKI
    Satsuki-senpai, good luck.
[05:45] TSUKISHIRO
    I'm sorry I lost my composure earlier, but...
[05:51] OTSUKI
    Tell me.
[05:53] TSUKISHIRO
    Lately, my announcer job hasn't been going well.
[05:59] TSUKISHIRO
    Alien incidents have been on the rise recently.
[06:03] TSUKISHIRO
    Because of that, I've been
    getting more Mina work.
[06:06] TSUKISHIRO
    I'm nearly late to the studio every day,
[06:09] TSUKISHIRO
    and I space out during the show
    because I'm so tired.
[06:14] TSUKISHIRO
    Will I be able to keep working as an announcer?
[06:21] OTSUKI
    I was just thinking about the past.
[06:24] OTSUKI
    I was just like you when I was starting out.
[06:27] TSUKISHIRO
    You, too?
[06:29] TSUKISHIRO
    Come to think of it, what do you do normally?
[06:34] OTSUKI
    What? Well, uh...
[06:37] OTSUKI
    Satsuki.
[06:41] SATSUKI
    That's odd. The ping pong ball
    looks awfully large.
[06:47] ALIEN
    This is a pretty long rally, Satsuki Mina-kun.
[06:51] SATSUKI
    This voice...
[06:52] ALIEN
    It's telepathy.
[06:54] ALIEN
    You're the rogue Mina.
[06:56] ALIEN
    Rumors say you defied your boss
    and chose to quit the Rabbit Force.
[07:01] SATSUKI
    Shut up. I've got a huge dream.
[07:06] SATSUKI
    Someday, I'll publish the world's
    sexiest collection of photos.
[07:18] SATSUKI
    So bold, so good.
[07:22] ALIEN
    Rally.
[07:23] ALIEN
    Satsuki Mina, face the facts.
[07:32] ALIEN
    You are a rogue Mina.
[07:34] ALIEN
    You'll die poor and alone in
    a run-down apartment, rally.
[07:39] SATSUKI
    No!
[07:42] TSUKISHIRO
    Satsuki-san?
[07:48] OTSUKI
    Satsuki!
[07:52] OTSUKI
    Hey, Satsuki.
[07:53] TSUKISHIRO
    Satsuki-san.
[07:53] MINAZUKI
    Senpai.
[07:55] ALIEN
    Rally!
[07:56] ALIEN
    That's one victory for me!
[07:58] SATSUKI
    Money... money... rogue... money...
[08:06] TAMAMUSHI
    I see now.
SIGN    Hypnotic Suggestion Device
[08:13] TAMAMUSHI
    Take a look at this.
[08:14] OTSUKI
    What is this?
[08:16] TAMAMUSHI
    It's a Rallyan's mental attack
    disguised as a game of ping pong.
[08:20] TAMAMUSHI
    As their opponent watches the ping pong
    ball monotonously bounce back and forth...
[08:26] OTSUKI
    I see. They're hypnotized
    and end up like Satsuki.
[08:31] ALIEN
    Rally, rally, rally.
[08:33] ALIEN
    Minas, face the grudges
    of the aliens you've arrested.
[08:38] ALIEN
    You'll suffer in prisons of your own
    minds for the rest of your lives.
[08:43] TAMAMUSHI
    You scumbag.
[08:45] TAMAMUSHI
    I'll face you next.
SIGN    Broadcast in 19 minutes
[08:49] KATO D
    What? Now Mucchi's missing, too?
[08:52] KATO D
    You can't be serious! Do something!
[08:55] ONOUE
    Kato-kun.
[08:56] KATO D
    Yes?
[08:58] ONOUE
    Believe in them and wait.
[08:59] ONOUE
    That's all I can say for now.
[09:02] SATSUKI
    Money... money... rogue... money...
[09:06] MINAZUKI
    You can do it, Tamamushi-senpai.
[09:11] ALIEN
    Rally.
[09:13] ALIEN
    Making small quick adjustments
    to your posture mid-air
[09:16] ALIEN
    must diminish your focus considerably.
[09:18] TAMAMUSHI
    Shut up.
[09:20] ALIEN
    How long will your mind last?
[09:24] ALIEN
    Tamamushi Mina, people will only fuss
    over you while you're still a child actor.
[09:28] ALIEN
    Once you become an adult,
    no one will even look your way.
[09:32] ALIEN
    Study hard while you're young,
    for life is short.
[09:35] ALIEN
    You shouldn't be wasting
    your time on being a Mina.
[09:46] ALIEN
    Rally! That's two wins in a row!
[09:49] TSUKISHIRO
    Tamamushi-chan.
[09:51] TAMAMUSHI
    Child actor... adult... finished...
[09:54] TAMAMUSHI
    Child actor... adult... finished...
[09:54] TSUKISHIRO
    What? Child actor?
[09:57] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro-kun.
[09:59] OTSUKI
    You're not the only one.
[10:01] OTSUKI
    Looks like Satsuki and Tamamushi
    have their own worries, too.
[10:06] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san...
[10:08] OTSUKI
    But I'll make them pay
    for exploiting girls' weaknesses.
[10:13] OTSUKI
    I'll crush them.
[10:15] MINAZUKI
    Wait.
[10:18] MINAZUKI
    I'll do it.
[10:19] OTSUKI
    But you're still new.
[10:21] MINAZUKI
    Don't give me special treatment
    just because I'm new.
[10:25] MINAZUKI
    I can't forgive what that
    evil rabbit has done either.
[10:28] TSUKISHIRO
    Nako—I mean, Minazuki Mina-chan,
    I don't think you should.
[10:34] MINAZUKI
    Don't worry about me, Tsukishiro-san.
[10:36] MINAUZKI
    Despite how I seem, I'm actually
    exceptionally good at ping pong.
[10:41] TSUKISHIRO
    But...
[10:43] OTSUKI
    Fine, but you'd better beat them soundly.
[10:47] MINAZUKI
    I will.
[10:49] ALIEN
    Rally! You brother-lover!
[10:53] MINAZUKI
    Onii-chan!
[11:01] MINAZUKI
    Go, go, Kanji...
[11:05] MINAZUKI
    You can do it, Tsukishima...
[11:07] TSUKISHIRO
    Nako.
[11:10] TSUKISHIRO
    I'll be your next opponent.
[11:13] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro...
[11:15] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san, thank you
    for listening to me earlier.
[11:20] TSUKISHIRO
    I'll do my best.
[11:24] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro...
[11:25] TSUKISHIRO
    I promise I'll save the others,
[11:28] TSUKISHIRO
    and I swear I'll make it to
    the SpoLuna broadcast on time.
[11:32] ALIEN
    Rally. Are you sure about that?
SIGN    Broadcast in 14 minutes
[11:49] MUTSUMUNE
    I won't be beat.
[11:50] MUTSUMUNE
    Nothing will stop me
    from arriving at the station.
[11:59] SATSUKI
    Rogue... money...
[12:00] MINAZUKI
    You can do it, Tsukishima...
SIGN    Broadcast in 13 minutes
[12:06] TSUKISHIRO
    He's strong.
[12:07] ALIEN
    You talked some big talk earlier,
[12:11] ALIEN
    but SpoLuna is about to start.
[12:14] ALIEN
    Tsukishiro Mina—or rather, Tsukuda Mina.
[12:17] ALIEN
    What's more important to you? Your mission
    as Mina or your announcer job?
[12:22] TSUKISHIRO
    Both.
[12:23] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro, don't listen to him.
[12:26] ALIEN
    That's bold of you to say.
[12:28] ALIEN
    The viewers haven't been missing
    your recent screw ups.
[12:32] ALIEN
    Chase two rabbits, and you won't catch either.
[12:35] ALIEN
    Today you'll be fired from SpoLuna.
[12:38] ALIEN
    Tsukuda Mina the announcer
    is already finished, rally!
[12:44] TSUKISHIRO
    No!
[12:48] MINA
    No! I don't want to stop
    working as an announcer...
[12:53] SUIREN
    You worked hard until the end.
[12:57] MINA
    Suiren-san...
[13:03] MINA
    Is it really impossible to be Mina
    and an announcer at the same time?
[13:07] MINA
    I won't make it to the broadcast
    in time anymore.
[13:10] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro, stand up!
[13:12] OTSUKI
    Don't give up now!
[13:14] OTSUKI
    You've got an important job waiting for you!
[13:18] TSUKISHIRO
    That's right. I can't fall here.
[13:23] TSUKISHIRO
    Everyone at SpoLuna...
[13:28] TSUKISHIRO
    Suiren-san is waiting for me.
[13:31] ALIEN
    What, rally?
[13:36] ALIEN
    Rally? Rally, rally.
[13:39] ALIEN
    How dare you scare me like that, rally.
[13:41] TSUKISHIRO
    Mina... announcer... impossible...
[13:44] TSUKISHIRO
    Mina... announcer... impossible...
[13:48] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro...
[13:50] ALIEN
    Otsuki Mina, you're the last one.
[13:52] ALIEN
    Will you give up and surrender?
[13:55] ALIEN
    If you abandon the match,
    I'll expose your identities to the whole—
[13:58] OTSUKI
    There's no time. Let's get started.
[14:01] AD SUZUKI
    What? Seriously?
[14:03] AD SUZUKI
    Kato-san, I got a call from a police box.
[14:06] AD SUZUKI
    They found Suiren-san's
    motorcycle on the beach.
[14:08] AD SUZUKI
    Something might have happened to her.
[14:12] KATO D
    What?
[14:16] TSUKISHIRO
    Mina... announcer... impossible...
[14:19] ALIEN
    Rally.
[14:20] ALIEN
    Does your heart ache for them?
[14:23] ALIEN
    There's no way they can all live two lives.
[14:28] ALIEN
    But you manipulated Tsukishiro with your words.
[14:30] OTSUKI
    I struggled with it at first, too.
[14:34] OTSUKI
    Like Tsukuda, I was caught between
    being Mina and an announcer.
[14:40] TSUKISHIRO
    Otsuki-san?
[14:43] OTSUKI
    But I took on the fate of being a Mina,
[14:46] OTSUKI
    so I have to work hard at both.
[14:48] ALIEN
    Rally?
[14:49] ALIEN
    Otsuki Mina, what's more important to you?
    Your mission as Mina, or your announcer job?
[14:53] OTSUKI
    Both being Mina and being an announcer
    are important parts of who I am.
[14:59] OTSUKI
    No matter how hard it gets,
    I won't let go of either.
[15:03] TSUKISHIRO
    An announcer?
[15:05] OTSUKI
    I'll make sure Tsukishiro—
    that Tsukuda makes it back to SpoLuna.
[15:09] OTSUKI
    We don't give up on our dreams or jobs.
[15:11] OTSUKI
    That's what it means to be a Mina!
[15:15] OTSUKI
    Here we go!
[15:22] ALIEN
    I lost, rally!
[15:37] SATSUKI
    Huh? What was I doin'?
[15:42] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro, are you okay?
[15:45] TSUKISHIRO
    Yes. Um...
[15:48] TSUKISHIRO
    I'm sorry. I made all those bold claims, but...
[15:54] OTSUKI
    What are you talking about?
[15:56] OTSUKI
    You worked hard until the end.
[16:01] TSUKISHIRO
    Could it be?
[16:03] ALIEN
    Impossible! There's no way I lost at ping pong!
[16:09] ALIEN
    I'll hijack all the airwaves in the world!
[16:22] OTSUKI
    What are you doing?
[16:22] ALIEN
    Watch idly as I expose your identities!
[16:28] WOMAN
    Good boys and girls, it's time
    for the goodbye LunaLuna exercise.
[16:33] WOMAN
    Luna, Luna. Nalu, Nalu. Luna, Luna, Lu.
[16:36] WOMAN
    Raise your left hand and Luna, Luna, Luna.
[16:39] WOMAN
    Raise your right hand and—
[16:42] HAIBARA
    I am Pyokotan.
[16:44] HAIBARA
    I am Pyokotan.
[16:45] HAIBARA
    I am Pyoko—
[16:47] TSUKISHIRO
    This isn't good.
[16:48] TSUKISHIRO
    Once this show ends, SpoLuna is up next.
[16:51] ALIEN
    Rally? Why aren't my secret videos playing?
SIGN    One Moment Please
[16:55] BABY
    Don't worry, Minas.
[16:58] BABY
    I've erased all the videos they secretly took.
[17:01] BABY
    Because you bought time playing ping pong,
    I was able to hack the UFO's computer.
[17:08] ALIEN
    Rally...
[17:12] OTSUKI
    You'll pay for everything
    you did to my juniors.
[17:17] OTUSKI
    But there's something
    that doesn't make sense to me.
[17:20] OTSUKI
    Rallyan, your kind are simply
    good at ping pong.
[17:25] OTSUKI
    You're not particularly intellectual aliens.
[17:27] TAMAMUSHI
    I see, and yet you employed
    an elaborate scheme regardless.
[17:32] TAMAMUSHI
    Is there perhaps a mastermind behind you?
[17:35] TSUKISHIRO
    We can talk about this later.
[17:37] TSUKISHIRO
    Send us back to Earth right now.
[17:40] ALIEN
    Rally!
[17:45] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro!
[17:47] ALIEN
    Rally, rally, rally!
[17:49] ALIEN
    R-Rally?
[17:51] SATSUKI
    How dare you.
[17:53] MINAZUKI
    Prepare yourself.
[17:55] TAMAMUSHI
    Just die already.
[17:57] ALIEN
    Rally...
[18:01] TAMAMUSHI
    Die!
[18:02] BABY
    Now, now. You're taking things
    too far with all this violence.
[18:06] SATSUKI
    Noogie, noogie.
[18:10] BABY
    Oh my god.
[18:16] SATSUKI
    This is really bad.
[18:23] ALIEN
    Rally!
[18:27] MINAZUMI
    Where are we?
[18:28] TAMAMUSHI
    Nanashi must've teleported us here.
[18:31] SATSUKI
    Huh? Where are Tsukishiro and Otsuki-han?
[18:35] OTSUKI
    Tsukishiro, wake up.
[18:38] BABY
    This is bad. Otsuki and Tsukishiro,
    get out of that UFO quickly.
[18:42] BABY
    If you stay in there, it won't be
    possible for you to teleport—
[18:47] OTSUKI
    This can't be good. You mean
    we have to figure it out ourselves?
[18:53] MUTSUMUNE
    What the heck is this?
[18:58] OTSUKI
    You're awake.
[19:02] TSUKISHIRO
    Did you protect me?
[19:05] OTSUKI
    The surface of our suits have
    exceeded maximum safe temperatures.
[19:08] OTSUKI
    We might really be in trouble this time.
[19:15] OTSUKI
    Are you scared?
[19:17] TSUKISHIRO
    I'm fine. I'm not scared.
[19:20] TSUKISHIRO
    After all, Otsuki-san...
[19:23] TSUKISHIRO
    Suiren-san, I'm with you.
[19:30] OTSUKI
    What was that? I didn't hear you.
[19:33] OTSUKI
    The wind's too loud.
[19:39] OTSUKI
    Let's head home. The others...
[19:42] OTSUKI
    Luna TV is waiting for us.
[19:45] TSUKISHIRO
    Okay.
SIGN    Broadcast in 50 seconds
[19:53] AD SUZUKI
    We're screwed! We won't make it in time!
[19:55] AD SUZUKI
    What should we do, Kiryu-san?
[19:58] KIRYU
    Now, now. I'll fill the air somehow.
[20:02] KOZAI
    Thanks for waiting.
[20:07] AD SUZUKI
    Kozai...
[20:09] KOZAI
    Now that I'm here,
    there's nothing to worry about.
[20:12] AD SUZUKI
    But who called you?
[20:14] KATO D
    I did.
[20:16] KATO D
    Kozai's always so beautiful.
[20:21] KIRYU
    Thank you for coming.
[20:24] KOZAI
    Thanks for having me.
[20:25] KIRYU
    Right.
[20:27] AD SUZUKI
    We're going live in ten,
[20:31] AD SUZUKI
    eight, seven,
[20:33] AD SUZUKI
    six, five,
[20:35] AD SUZUKI
    four, three.
[20:36] SUIREN
    Kozai-san, excuse me.
[20:38] MINA
    This is the script, right?
[20:38] KOZAI
    Hey.
[20:40] SUIREN
    Good evening. I'm Koshu Suiren.
[20:43] KIRYU
    I'm Kiryu Daisuke.
[20:45] MINA
    And I'm Tsukuda Mina.
[20:47] MUTSUMUNE
    What? Where am I?
[20:49] WOMAN
    Oh, my. You're alive?
[20:51] MUTSUMUNE
    SpoLuna!
[20:52] MUTSUMUNE
    What about the SpoLuna broadcast?
[20:54] WOMAN
    It's already started.
[20:56] MUTSUMUNE
    Huh? What?
[20:57] KATO D
    This is unprecedented!
[20:59] KATO D
    Where in the world have they been?
[21:03] ONOUE
    But their bond has deepened.
[21:05] KATO D
    What?
[21:06] ONOUE
    It's a good thing.
[21:08] ONOUE
    Tonight, we'll celebrate in Giroppon as equals.
[21:11] ONOUE
    Soft drinks for Tsukuda, of course.
[21:16] YOSHIMI
    Excuse me.
[21:17] YOSHIMI
    I heard SpoLuna are regulars here.
[21:20] YOSHIMI
    Do you think they'll be arriving soon?
[21:25] YOSHIMI
    Huh? Will Tsukuda be coming?
[21:33] SUMIRE
    That Rallyan screwed the pooch.
[21:38] SUMIRE
    Earth's Minas did a fine job.
[21:42] SUMIRE
    But today was a test.
[23:08] SUMIRE
    Thanks for waiting, Tsukuda-san.
[23:09] SUMIRE
    I'm magazine reporter Nishiwa Sumire.
[23:11] SUMIRE
    I'm looking forward to working with you today.
[23:12] TSUKUDA
    So am I.
[23:14] SUMIRE
    By the way, what's up with Otsuki Mina?
[23:16] SUMIRE
    She's a total savage
    and destroyer of sports facilities.
[23:19] SUMIRE
    Wouldn't it be better for
    the world if she were fired?
[23:22] TSUKUDA
    No way. Otsuki-san is a wonderful person.
[23:24] SUMIRE
    Is that right? Come with me.
[23:27] TSUKUDA
    What?
[23:28] TSUKUDA
    Next time on Getsumento Heiki Mina,
    "I Came From Space."
[23:32] SUIREN
    Tsukuda-san, no matter what happens,
    you must keep being an announcer.
[23:35] TSUKUDA
    Oh, Suiren-senpai...