E4 - The Crimson-Eyed Lonely Master

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] Yunyun
    Good morning, Megumin.
[00:06] Yunyun
    Here you go.
[00:07] Megumin
    What is this?
[00:09] Megumin
    Do you have feelings for me or something?
[00:11] Megumin
    It's a little unsettling to suddenly
    have you lovingly prepare my lunch...
[00:16] Yunyun
    I'm not going to challenge you today,
    so I don't want you bugging me!
[00:20] Megumin
    You make it sound like I'm some ruffian
    who's always mugging you for your lunch.
[00:24] Yunyun
    I know I'm the one who always
    instigates the duels,
[00:27] Yunyun
    but you are kind of a ruffian.
[00:37] Pucchin
    Good morning, people.
[00:41] Megumin
    Something about Yunyun
    seems strange lately.
[00:44] Pucchin
    Monsters believed to be minions of the Dark
    God have been spotted around the village.
[00:51] Pucchin
    Which means we can no longer
    afford to take this lightly.
[00:56] Pucchin
    That being the case,
    impromptu though it might be,
[00:59] Pucchin
    the plan is to gather enough
    villagers to redo the seal.
[01:03] Pucchin
    The ritual will last from tomorrow
    evening until the morning after.
[01:07] Pucchin
    All right, let's go over
    the results of your tests.
[01:11] Pucchin
    As usual, our top three scorers will
    receive these skill-up potions.
[01:15] Pucchin
    In third place is Nerimaki!
[01:22] Megumin
    Four points until I can learn explosion
    magic, as I've long dreamed!
[01:27] Pucchin
    Second place, Arue.
[01:30] Pucchin
    First place, Megumin!
[01:33] Pucchin
    Well done, girls.
[01:35] Pucchin
    First period is going to
    be equipment crafting.
[01:38] Pucchin
    Head over to the home economics room!
[01:51] Yunyun
    Would you say something?!
    This is really awkward!
[01:54] Megumin
    What's gotten into you?
[01:56] Megumin
    I can't believe you weren't in the top three.
[01:59] Megumin
    If I remember correctly, you needed
    three points to learn advanced magic.
[02:04] Megumin
    And I need four...
[02:06] Megumin
    Is this fine by you?
[02:07] Megumin
    Wasting the lead that would give you
    the chance to graduate before me?
[02:11] Megumin
    Look, look here!
[02:12] Yunyun
    I'm not trying to compete. Not today.
[02:18] Megumin
    I see.
[02:25] Megumin
    Something is definitely
    off about Yunyun lately.
SIGN    KONOSUBA - An Explosion on This Wonderful World!
SIGN    Episode 4: The Crimson-Eyed Lonely Master
[04:00] Unmarked BG Adlib
    Seriously, it was the craziest thing!
[04:03] Funifura
    Hey! I heard that there's a
    Hero candidate in the village!
[04:07] Dodonko
    Oh, I heard about that!
[04:09] Dodonko
    To be more specific,
    I actually met him yesterday!
[04:12] Dodonko
    He was hot, and pretty friendly!
[04:14] Dodonko
    And he's looking for a skilled mage
    to help defeat the Devil King!
[04:18] Megumin
    Anyone in the position to be named a
    Hero must be a quality human being.
[04:23] Megumin
    The kind who would show
    up in the heroic annals!
[04:27] Megumin
    One day, I'll be the kind of mage that can
    join the party of a hero candidate...
[04:33] Megumin
    A group that can overcome
    any kind of threat,
[04:36] Megumin
    who would never resort to cowardly
    tricks or cheap chicanery!
[04:39] Megumin
    Rising head-first to every challenge!
[04:42] Megumin
    And with my magic,
[04:44] Megumin
    I will obliterate the Devil King's generals
    or anyone else who stands in our way,
[04:47] Megumin
    as my name echoes across the entire world!
[04:54] Megumin
    And once the Devil King has been slain,
[04:58] Megumin
    I will ascend to the throne as
    the new Devil King... Megumin!
[05:06] Yunyun
    Megumin? Megumin!
[05:10] Yunyun
    What was that? You suddenly
    started cackling. You okay?
[05:14] Megumin
    I was so absorbed in important thoughts
    that I wasn't paying attention.
[05:17] Megumin
    Do you need something?
[05:19] Yunyun
    Well... I wanted to talk to you
    about something on the way home.
[05:35] Yunyun
    So, Megumin...
[05:38] Yunyun
    What do you think it means... to be friends?
[05:45] Megumin
    I've always known you had issues, Yunyun,
[05:48] Megumin
    but I didn't think you had
    no idea what friends were...
[05:52] Yunyun
    I know! I know what they are!
[05:54] Yunyun
    You go shopping together, and have fun...
[05:57] Yunyun
    Wait, no, that's not what I'm talking about!
[06:01] Yunyun
    For example, you always try
    to sponge off me, right?
[06:04] Yunyun
    But you never try to get money.
[06:07] Megumin
    Of course not. I realize there are
    some lines that shouldn't be crossed.
[06:11] Megumin
    Not to mention I'd hate for you
[06:13] Megumin
    to start making physical demands
    in exchange for money.
[06:15] Yunyun
    I would do no such thing!
[06:17] Yunyun
    And to be honest, I thought that
    was the case. But Funifura-san...
[06:22] Megumin
    She asked for money?
[06:25] Yunyun
    No! It's not like that!
[06:28] Yunyun
    It's just...
[06:30] (Flashback) Dodonko
    And that's basically it.
    Funifura's cute little brother is sick.
[06:36] (Flashback) Dodonko
    But...
[06:37] (Flashback) Funifura
    Yeah. The thing is, we don't really
    have enough money for the medicine...
[06:43] (Flashback) Dodonko
    So I thought, as her friends,
    we should try and help!
[06:47] (Flashback) Dodonko
    So I was thinking we could
    raise money for her!
[06:51] (Flashback) Dodonko
    We can count on you, too, right,
    Yunyun? Our friend needs us!
[06:56] Yunyun
    But something about giving them
    money feels rude somehow...
[07:01] Yunyun
    I'm just not sure what to do.
[07:03] Yunyun
    What do you think, Megumin?
[07:05] Megumin
    Given that I never have money
    as a fundamental principle...
[07:10] Megumin
    I'd think of some other way to contribute.
[07:13] Yunyun
    Like what?
[07:14] Megumin
    For instance...
[07:16] Megumin
    My friend and I could wear masks
    and then raid an apothecary.
[07:20] Yunyun
    Wouldn't just loaning the money
    be less problematic than that?
[07:25] Megumin
    True friends don't simply offer charity!
[07:28] Megumin
    They endure trials together!
[07:31] Yunyun
    So you're saying, if you were really hungry,
[07:34] Yunyun
    you'd rather someone else starve with you
    instead of them sharing their food?
[07:38] Megumin
    No. Not even close.
[07:40] Megumin
    But, well, if a friend was truly in grave need,
[07:44] Megumin
    I don't think it's out of the
    question to loan them some money.
[07:47] Megumin
    Granted, I am in perpetual
    grave need, myself.
[07:49] Yunyun
    Trying to subtly get that across, huh?
[07:54] Yunyun
    But I get what you mean. Thanks.
[07:59] Megumin
    It's fine.
[08:03] Bukkorori
    Hey, Megumin, Yunyun.
[08:07] Megumin
    Why, if it isn't Bukkorori, who's still sulking
    over having been rejected by Soketto.
[08:11] Yunyun
    Shh!
[08:12] Bukkorori
    Don't "shh" so loudly. It's honestly more
    painful to see you try to avoid the subject.
[08:16] Bukkorori
    Besides, I never told her how I felt,
    so I didn't get rejected!
[08:20] Yunyun
    That's an optimistic approach.
[08:21] Bukkorori
    Honestly, the entire world
    is waiting for my awakening,
[08:24] Bukkorori
    so I shouldn't be hung up over romance.
[08:27] Megumin
    You mean the thing about
    the Dark God's minions?
[08:29] Bukkorori
    Yep.
[08:29] Megumin
    Wouldn't it be easier at this
    point to break the seal,
[08:33] Megumin
    and then have the entire village
    fight together to slay it?
[08:36] Bukkorori
    That idea did come up.
[08:38] Bukkorori
    But seeing as our ancestors went to the trouble
    of nabbing a Dark God from another region
[08:42] Bukkorori
    before transplanting it here
    and sealing it away...
[08:46] Yunyun
    Wait. Why would they do that?
[08:48] Bukkorori
    What do you mean, "why"?
[08:50] Bukkorori
    Doesn't the idea of a village with a
    Dark God sleeping beneath it sound cool?
[08:53] Megumin
    That should be obvious!
[08:55] Bukkorori
    There's other stuff, too, like ancient
    weapons that could destroy the world...
[08:59] Bukkorori
    And the goddess of vengeance and domination
    whose name has been forgotten.
[09:03] Bukkorori
    All kinds of sweet forbidden junk!
[09:04] Megumin
    As much trouble as they might cause,
[09:07] Megumin
    I have to admit forbidden weapons
    are quite the fascinating subject.
[09:10] Bukkorori
    Tell me about it!
[09:11] Yunyun
    Huh? You think so? So am I the only one who...
[09:17] MeguBukko
    ...doesn't get it.
[09:27] Megumin
    Komekko! I'm heading out.
[09:29] Komekko
    Have a good day!
[09:30] Megumin
    Be a good girl and watch the house, all right?
[09:33] Komekko
    'Kay!
[09:54] Funifura
    I really appreciate this, Yunyun.
    And I'll be sure to pay you back.
[09:59] Yunyun
    Oh, come on, it's fine!
    We're f-friends, right?
[10:02] Dodonko
    Class is starting.
[10:04] Funifura
    You can go on ahead, Yunyun.
[10:06] Yunyun
    O-Okay.
[10:12] Funifura
    My conscience is bothering me a little...
[10:14] Dodonko
    Yeah, I hear you.
[10:17] Megumin
    Then why ask for money in the first place?
[10:21] Dodonko
    Megumin! How long have you been there?
[10:23] Funifura
    How much did you hear?
[10:24] Megumin
    Starting around where you extorted her
    to submit to your perverted demands
[10:27] Megumin
    in exchange for keeping
    her dangerous secrets.
[10:30] Funifura
    That's not what happened!
[10:32] Funifura
    Look, my brother is sick,
    and we can't afford his medicine...
[10:36] Dodonko
    It's just a bit of fund-raising.
[10:39] Megumin
    Why not ask for my help, then?
[10:43] Megumin
    What? Are you that shocked at the
    idea I'd be willing to help others?
[10:48] Funfiura
    It's just... y'know...
    you're super poor, right?
[10:52] Dodonko
    Borrowing money from you
    is just a shade too far.
[10:56] Megumin
    You're dead!
[10:58] Funifura
    W-Well, then, do you have money to loan me?!
[11:02] Megumin
    Obviously I don't. Who in the world
    do you think you're talking to?
[11:05] FuniDonko
    This girl...
[11:07] Megumin
    It's just a matter of
    securing medication, yes?
[11:10] Dodonko
    Do you have something in mind?
[11:14] Megumin
    A simple matter for the Crimson
    Demons' foremost prodigy!
[11:20] Pucchin
    All right, time to begin magical
    item crafting class.
[11:24] Pucchin
    You're free to improvise on the ingredients,
    but I want to see some potions.
[11:36] Megumin
    Behold my sorcerous craftsmanship!
[11:44] Arue
    That looks interesting. I'd like to help.
[11:47] Megumin
    Did you finish already, Arue?
[11:49] Arue
    I did.
[11:50] Megumin
    I'd appreciate the help, then.
[12:00] Yunyun
    I won't let you!
[12:01] Megumin
    Would you get out of the way?
[12:03] Yunyun
    But the duxion is so cute!
[12:05] Megumin
    Cute as it is, it's still a monster.
[12:08] Megumin
    Do you realize how many harmless-looking
    monsters are actually quite dangerous?
[12:13] Yunyun
    I know, but...
[12:16] Arue
    Calm down, now. All we really
    need is the onion on its back.
[12:20] Megumin
    Feeling better now?
[12:23] Arue
    Onions are supposed to help with healing.
[12:25] Arue
    And the onions from duxions are
    supposed to be of the finest quality.
[12:35] Megumin
    Honestly, what kind of
    monster do you think I am?
[12:39] Megumin
    Even I can appreciate the
    preciousness of cute life.
[12:42] Yunyun
    I-I guess so. Sorry.
[12:45] Yunyun
    It's just, duxions are rare monsters
    that offer a lot of experience...
[12:50] Arue
    On top of being prized in gourmet cuisine.
[13:00] Yunyun
    Megumin, you jerk!
[13:07] Funifura
    What do you want with us
    now, duxion slayer?
[13:11] Megumin
    Call me that again and you'll
    see just how much I can slay.
[13:14] Dodonko
    Yunyun was sulking all day after
    what you pulled earlier.
[13:18] Megumin
    The two of you were the root cause
    of all this in the first place.
[13:22] Megumin
    A hand-made potion for treating illness.
[13:26] Megumin
    Go on, take it.
[13:31] Megumin
    This means you no longer need the
    money you borrowed from Yunyun, yes?
[13:34] Funifura
    H-Hang on a sec! There's no
    guarantee that this'll work...
[13:38] Megumin
    Doesn't matter.
[13:39] Megumin
    Frankly, I don't even care whether
    your little brother is sick or not.
[13:43] Dodonko
    We weren't lying!
[13:45] Megumin
    The thing I take exception to is
    exploiting the conscience of a lonely girl
[13:49] Megumin
    who's desperate for friends.
[13:52] Megumin
    Her intelligence is second only to my own.
[13:55] Megumin
    She is fully aware of what you were doing.
[13:58] Dodonko
    Don't get mad for real. You're scary.
[14:01] Funifura
    Here, you can have the money back.
[14:06] Megumin
    Please don't take advantage of her
    good nature and naiveté ever again.
[14:11] Dodonko
    Wow, you must really like Yunyun.
[14:14] Megumin
    You seem to have misunderstood me.
[14:17] Megumin
    It's not like Yunyun and I are friends.
[14:19] Funifura
    Yeah, yeah, whatever.
[14:21] Dodonko
    If you're that desperate not to be seen as
    friends, then what exactly is the deal?
[14:26] Megumin
    I'm not sure how to describe it.
    I suppose rivalry?
[14:30] Funifura
    Well, anyone else would think you
    two are pretty into each other.
[14:34] Dodonko
    Megumin, your eyes are glowing again.
[14:38] Dodonko
    Crimson Demons having a tell that shows
    our true feelings can be such a drag, huh?
[14:43] Funifura
    Look, we'll leave it at that for today,
    but don't get too big-headed, you hear?
[14:51] Dodonko
    What?!
[14:52] Funifura
    Come on, that's a classic
    conversation-ender! Get a clue!
SIGN    KONOSUBA - An Explosion on This Wonderful World!
[14:55] Funifura
    Duxion!
[15:06] Yunyun
    You left Inky all alone. Where did you go?
[15:12] Yunyun
    Isn't this...
[15:15] Yunyun
    Wait, that potion...
    Did you give it to them so—
[15:19] Megumin
    In what world would a pragmatist like
    myself engage in such philanthropy?
[15:25] Yunyun
    That's a very convincing argument.
[15:36] Yunyun
    Megumin, I was waiting for you!
    Don't leave without me.
[15:41] Yunyun
    I'll treat you to something,
    to show my thanks.
[15:50] Yunyun
    I-I know I said it was my treat...
[15:52] Yunyun
    I realize that, but...
[15:54] Torosuke
    Slide...
[15:56] Torosuke
    I am called Torosuke!
[15:58] Torosuke
    Foremost pancake chef among Crimson Demons,
[16:01] Torosuke
    and he who would open a
    franchise with 500 locations!
[16:04] Torosuke
    Now that is quite an appetite!
[16:06] Torosuke
    It pleases me to see you enjoy it so much!
    A classy merçi to you, young lady!
[16:09] Megumin
    It's more that... I believe in getting
    your fill when the opportunity presents.
[16:17] Megumin
    Can we take a little break?
[16:23] Megumin
    One more skill-up potion,
    and I'll be ready to graduate.
[16:27] Yunyun
    Huh? Megumin, I thought yesterday's potion left
    you with three points to go, the same as me...
[16:33] Yunyun
    Wait, the duxion from this morning!
[16:35] Megumin
    With which I gained a level,
    and earned two skill points!
[16:40] Yunyun
    A-Aw, no...
[16:42] Yunyun
    I wanted us to graduate together.
[16:45] Yunyun
    That's why I was trying to
    match your skill points...
[16:49] Megumin
    You were adjusting your points so
    that we could graduate together?
[16:53] Megumin
    Then you intentionally didn't
    score in the top three on the test?!
[16:57] Megumin
    How could you be so stupid?!
[17:00] Megumin
    If you wanted to graduate together,
[17:02] Megumin
    you could have just learned magic
    to use up the extra skill points!
[17:05] Megumin
    But you were so dead-set on
    learning advanced magic first,
[17:08] Megumin
    yet unable to just admit you
    wanted to graduate together!
[17:11] Megumin
    Just how awkward are you to
    even try something like this?!
[17:14] Yunyun
    I-I mean, you're always so smug
    about being better than me,
[17:18] Yunyun
    so if I were to pass you suddenly...
[17:20] Megumin
    Did you just suggest you've surpassed me?!
[17:22] Megumin
    You've done no such thing! At all!
[17:24] Megumin
    Let me make something quite clear:
[17:26] Megumin
    I have long since earned enough
    points to learn advanced magic!
[17:30] Megumin
    But I have no intention of doing that!
[17:32] Megumin
    I will be learning a far more
    powerful, surefire form of magic!
[17:39] Yunyun
    Powerful, surefire magic?
    Are you talking about explosion magic?
[17:44] Megumin
    That's right.
[17:45] Yunyun
    You were serious about that?
[17:46] Megumin
    And what if I was?
[17:48] Yunyun
    You're calling me stupid?
[17:50] Yunyun
    Even if you learn it, most people don't have
    enough magical power to actually cast it!
[17:54] Yunyun
    And even when they can, the most they can
    manage is once a day! That's why it's joke magic!
[17:58] Yunyun
    I know they say genius and madness are closely
    related, but are you really that crazy?!
[18:01] Megumin
    Any more insults, Yunyun, and don't
    expect the mercy I normally afford you.
[18:06] Megumin
    Believe me, I'm fully aware of the risks.
[18:08] Megumin
    I know more about explosion
    magic than anyone.
[18:12] Megumin
    And yet, I persist.
[18:14] Yunyun
    But why?
[18:16] Megumin
    Because I love it, of course.
[18:18] Yunyun
    I really do think you're crazy,
    and not a genius, Megumin.
[18:21] Megumin
    I warned you!
[18:30] Yunyun
    I won! I beat Megumin for the first time!
[18:33] Megumin
    Well, I wasn't being serious, after all.
[18:37] Megumin
    And with the moon not being
    out, my power is weakened.
[18:39] Yunyun
    You're not a literal demon!
    Just admit that you lost for once!
[18:45] Megumin
    Fine, I lose. Now, let me up.
[18:52] Megumin
    Still, given how stuffed I was,
[18:55] Megumin
    It's only natural I could only
    use half of my full strength.
[18:58] Yunyun
    No fair making excuses after I let you up!
[19:03] Yunyun
    Come on... Are you really that obsessed with
    explosion magic just because you like it?
[19:10] Yunyun
    Isn't there some other reason?
[19:14] Megumin
    If you must know, when I was younger,
    I was attacked by a magic beast.
[19:20] (Flashback) Wolbach
    Rest, cloaked by the smoke of supremacy.
[19:24] (Flashback) Wolbach
    Explosion!
[19:26] Megumin
    A mage who was passing by slew the beast...
[19:31] Megumin
    with explosion magic. And the destruction
    it caused... The overwhelming violence...
[19:36] Megumin
    The unassailable power...
    It was absolutely breathtaking.
[19:41] Megumin
    Befitting of being known
    as the ultimate magic.
[19:44] Megumin
    Ever since that moment, I've had
    no interest in other magic.
[19:49] Megumin
    Once I learn it, I intend to seek
    that mage out and ask her...
[19:54] Megumin
    "What do you think of the
    explosion magic you taught me?"
[20:02] Megumin
    That being said, I'm sure you're glad to
    have won once before I leave on my journey.
[20:07] Yunyun
    You're leaving once you graduate?
[20:09] Megumin
    Yes.
[20:10] Yunyun
    Is there anyone you're going to travel with?
[20:14] Yunyun
    Your magic power should be
    enough to use explosion magic,
[20:17] Yunyun
    but you'd be helpless after using it.
    You need someone to look after you.
[20:21] Megumin
    One thing we have in common is that
    I obviously have no such help.
[20:24] Yunyun
    Why do you sound so proud of that?
[20:26] Yunyun
    And it's not like you're
    leaving right away, right?!
[20:29] Megumin
    Well, I can't leave my
    sister unaccounted for,
[20:32] Megumin
    so I'll be working around
    the village for a while.
[20:34] Megumin
    What about you, Yunyun?
[20:37] Yunyun
    I'm going to be chief one day, so...
[20:41] Yunyun
    I want to try and learn a lot of
    different things before then.
[20:45] Yunyun
    I still need your help from time
    to time now, but one day...
[20:56] Yunyun
    I want to be strong enough to help
    the helpless, like that duxion.
[21:00] Yunyun
    Wait, why's there a duxion out here?
[21:08] Megumin
    "Megumin found tonight's dinner!"
[21:13] Yunyun
    Megumin, you jerk!
[21:27] Yunyun
    Megumin...
[21:28] Megumin
    Wasn't the Dark God supposed
    to have been resealed?
[21:32] Megumin
    Come with me, please!
[21:53] Megumin
    Komekko...
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SIGN    Episode 5: "Prelude to an Explosion of Madness"
[23:25] Yunyun
    Big trouble, Megumin!
[23:26] Yunyun
    A swarm of monsters is after little Inky!
[23:28] Megumin
    She's done for. We have to leave her behind.
[23:29] Yunyun
    Don't give up so fast!
[23:30] Megumin
    I'm more worried about Komekko!
    What's become of my sister?!
[23:33] Megumin
    Wait, I've got it!
    This entire mystery has been laid bare!
[23:36] Yunyun
    Huh? N-Next time, we'll join your
    family meeting with an...
[23:38] Megumin
    Explosion!