E12 - An Explosion on This Wonderful World!

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Megumin
    And with that being the case, the demon
    in question defeated all three of them.
[00:08] Guild
    What now?!
[00:11] Unmarked AD
    What are we gonna do?!
[00:13] Unmarked AD
    Crap... Oh, crap!
[00:15] Megumin
    Our best option would then be...
[00:21] Yunyun
    I am not letting you hand Chomusuke over!
    That is off the table!
[00:25] Yunyun
    I'm way too attached to her at this point!
[00:29] Megumin
    I never said a word about
    agreeing to the deal.
[00:34] Megumin
    Do I really seem the type to
    acquiesce when threatened?
[00:39] Megumin
    Crimson Demons accept
    any and all challenges.
[00:43] Yunyun
    Well, I know you're just shy
    of actually being stupid,
[00:46] Yunyun
    so you must know what kind
    of enemy you're facing here.
[00:48] Megumin
    That was quite a barbed way of putting it.
[00:51] Megumin
    Regardless, with the arch priest in
    question having never been found,
[00:55] Megumin
    I would say that I'm the only one in town
    with the means to deal with this demon.
[01:00] Yunyun
    Fine, do what you want.
[01:09] Megumin
    We're... friends, aren't we?
[01:17] Yunyun
    You want my help?!
[01:18] Yunyun
    If you think I'll do as you ask just because
    you say we're friends, you're dead wrong!
[01:22] Yunyun
    And yet I can't deny hearing
    that made me kinda happy!
SIGN    Episode 12: An Explosion on This Wonderful World!
[01:38] Megumin
    I thought I said you were free
    to occupy yourself for a while.
[01:41] Yunyun
    Well, you went into the inn
    after mentioning you were going
[01:44] Yunyun
    to get funds for your plan, so I was worried.
[01:48] Megumin
    I have 10,000,000 eris here.
[01:49] Yunyun
    How in the world did you
    make that kind of money?!
[01:53] Yunyun
    What happened in there?!
[01:56] Megumin
    I'd rather not say.
[01:58] Yunyun
    Megumin! You've really crossed a line!
[02:01] Megumin
    More importantly,
[02:02] Megumin
    we need to put this war chest to use
    and raise our combat efficacy.
[02:06] Megumin
    Head to the magic item store,
    and buy anything that looks useful.
[02:11] Yunyun
    O-Okay.
[02:13] Megumin
    Also, we'll need a stuffed black cat toy.
    Make sure to buy one.
[02:17] Yunyun
    A stuffed toy?
[02:23] Megumin
    These were all made in the
    Crimson Demon village.
[02:27] Megumin
    Oh, excellent work!
[02:28] Megumin
    This is a Scroll of Concealment!
[02:31] Megumin
    It should make things simple,
    even without front line fighter allies.
[02:35] Yunyun
    There's also...
[02:37] Yunyun
    The stuffed black cat you asked for.
[02:40] Yunyun
    I don't know what you have
    in mind for it, but...
[02:44] Yunyun
    Hey!
[02:45] Megumin
    And now, with a little bit of time,
[02:48] Megumin
    Chomusuke's scent will rub
    off on the stuffed cat.
[02:51] Megumin
    We'll use it as bait,
    conceal ourselves with the scroll,
[02:55] Megumin
    and once he arrives in
    his ignorance, ka-boom.
[02:58] Yunyun
    D-Do you really think this plan's gonna work?
[03:02] Megumin
    We'll have to make it work.
[03:04] Megumin
    You're not the only one who's grown
    attached to this impudent little furball.
[03:10] Megumin
    Besides, we may have only
    worked together briefly,
[03:13] Megumin
    but this village is full of people
    I've gone on adventures with.
[03:16] Megumin
    And since fuzzy here and I are
    responsible for this matter,
[03:23] Megumin
    I intend to see it resolved in full.
[03:28] Yunyun
    Recklessly and stubbornly
    acting tough, like always.
[03:31] Megumin
    Pipe down.
[03:33] Megumin
    It's not like you've changed your timid,
    conflict-averse tendencies, either.
[03:39] Yunyun
    What has changed is that she's become a lot
    less selfish and indifferent in the last year.
[03:57] Megumin
    I'm feeling far too awake to sleep.
[04:00] Megumin
    I can't believe I'm actually
    nervous before a battle...
[04:06] Megumin
    I forgot to fire off my
    daily explosion magic!
[04:08] Megumin
    That explains this unease!
    How could I have been so careless?!
[04:11] Yunyun
    Unlock.
[04:23] Megumin
    Who would come by so late?
[04:26] Megumin
    What pervert is this?
[04:29] Yunyun
    You're asleep, right, Megumin?
[04:39] Yunyun
    You're really amazing, you know.
[04:41] Yunyun
    It never even occurred to you to
    run from a scary demon like that.
[04:45] Yunyun
    I think I'd be too anxious
    to sleep if I were you.
[04:49] Megumin
    This is making it far too awkward
    to pretend to wake up now.
[04:53] Yunyun
    If I'm being honest...
[04:55] Yunyun
    When you learned explosion magic,
[04:57] Yunyun
    I had to wonder how the top of our
    class could do something so stupid.
[05:02] Yunyun
    And when I saw you helping with the Axis
    sect's ridiculous recruiting in Arcanretia...
[05:09] Yunyun
    Wow. I was just speechless.
[05:12] Yunyun
    But...
[05:14] Yunyun
    But with just the joke
    they call explosion magic,
[05:17] Yunyun
    you were able to slay the Devil
    King's minions and defeat Arnes,
[05:21] Yunyun
    and now you're about to take on this demon.
[05:28] Yunyun
    I think that's really cool, and incredible.
[05:38] Yunyun
    But I'm sure you know the truth.
[05:40] Yunyun
    Even with a Scroll of Concealment,
    when you start to cast explosion magic,
[05:44] Yunyun
    the flow of magic power will
    make your position obvious.
[05:47] Megumin
    I didn't think that far ahead...
    and I don't dare admit that.
[05:51] Yunyun
    Which is why, y'know... to make
    sure I can continue being your rival,
[05:56] Yunyun
    I'm going to borrow this.
[06:00] Yunyun
    To be honest, I was at the guild before now,
[06:04] Yunyun
    and for the first time, I asked
    people to form a party with me.
[06:09] Yunyun
    Rex and his friends.
[06:10] Yunyun
    When I asked them if they wanted revenge
    on the demon, they were happy to agree.
[06:16] Megumin
    Weren't they badly injured?
[06:19] Yunyun
    I would've been too afraid
    to try anything by myself.
[06:24] Yunyun
    But now, I'm sure...
[06:26] Yunyun
    I can't let you try this plan
    when I know it won't work.
[06:32] Yunyun
    Because you're my best
    friend in the whole world.
[06:37] Yunyun
    And that's why...
[06:38] Yunyun
    Sleep.
[06:48] Yunyun
    Megumin...
[06:51] Yunyun
    I'm sorry.
[06:58] Megumin
    Yunyun!
[07:06] Megumin
    How dare she entrap me like this?!
[07:09] Megumin
    There is no greater shame for a Crimson
    Demon than to have their spotlight stolen!
[07:14] Megumin
    Well, this simply will not stand!
[07:17] Megumin
    Miss?!
[07:19] Megumin
    Sorry, I have a bit of an emergency
    situation, and was in a rush.
[07:21] Megumin
    Some other time, maybe.
[07:23] Cecily
    What in the world happened?
    You look so worried.
[07:26] Megumin
    Well, I'm not sure how, but Yunyun has
    apparently found a party out of the blue...
[07:31] Cecily
    Oh, would that be the group
    with that Rex fellow?
[07:34] Megumin
    Huh? Yes. How did you know?
[07:37] Cecily
    Because I healed them!
[07:41] Megumin
    Huh?
[07:41] Cecily
    I said I healed them! They were in front
    of the church, and obviously in pain.
[07:47] Cecily
    You should have seen how jealous
    the Eris sect was when I did it!
[07:50] Megumin
    You're responsible for this
    annoying turn of events?!
[07:53] Megumin
    I don't have time for this! I need to go!
[07:57] Megumin
    Miss, I genuinely do not have
    time to fool around right now...
[08:04] Cecily
    May the divine Aqua offer her protection.
[08:08] Cecily
    Blessing.
[08:16] Cecily
    I barely remember the incantations for
    anything other than healing magic.
[08:19] Cecily
    I'm glad it actually worked.
[08:22] Cecily
    I am a holy woman, in spite of it all.
[08:25] Cecily
    And I think I've got a
    good eye for people, too.
[08:28] Cecily
    Don't worry. I know you can win.
[08:30] Cecily
    I mean, how could my adorable,
    helpful Megumin lose to some rotten devil?
[08:36] Megumin
    Miss...
[08:38] Cecily
    Just this once, it'd be nice
    if you'd call me "big sister"!
[08:44] Megumin
    Well, then, Big Sister Cecily...
[08:47] Megumin
    I'm off!
[08:51] Cecily
    Good luck!
[09:07] Rex
    We'll keep him occupied somehow.
[09:09] Rex
    You hit him with that magic from before!
[09:11] Yunyun
    U-Understood!
[09:12] Host
    Aw, damn it, what the hell?
[09:15] Host
    You twerps are starting to get on my nerves!
[09:23] Yunyun
    I have to do it! I have to pull this off!
[09:25] Host
    Time to die! Inferno!
[09:29] Yunyun
    Magic Canceler!
[09:35] Yunyun
    Blade of Wind!
[09:43] Rex
    That worked! Keep it up!
[09:45] Yunyun
    Right!
[09:49] Megumin
    Well, this is a surprise...
    They're holding their own.
[09:53] Megumin
    It'd be one thing if they were in danger,
[09:55] Megumin
    but crashing the party when the battle
    might be won isn't to my liking.
[10:00] Yunyun
    Lightning!
[10:06] Host
    I am getting fed up over here.
[10:08] Host
    This is why I didn't want to
    mess with Crimson Demons!
[10:12] Host
    Damn it, enough's enough.
    Time to wrap this up the hard way!
[10:18] Yunyun
    Everyone, it's time!
[10:19] Host
    Another little trick?
[10:22] Host
    Let's see what you've got!
[10:25] Yunyun
    Flash!
[10:29] Host
    Demons don't see with their eyes, girlie!
[10:32] Host
    This trick of yours isn't gonna do squat!
[10:36] Megumin
    My eyes! My eyes!
[10:42] Rex
    Damn it, that didn't work. Even though
    I know I heard a tiny scream...
[10:48] Host
    Looks like that leaves just the two of you.
[10:52] Host
    Any more tricks up your sleeve?
[10:58] Rex
    Host!
[11:09] Host
    You think this is gonna buy you time?
[11:14] Yunyun
    Paralyze!
[11:18] Host
    I figured a Crimson Demon would know better!
[11:22] Host
    Paralyze isn't gonna work on a dem—
[11:25] Yunyun
    I'm well aware that paralysis
    magic doesn't work on demons.
[11:28] Yunyun
    But this magic potion was to
    increase the power of my spell.
[11:32] Yunyun
    Granted, it was a gamble on whether
    or not it'd actually work!
[11:38] Host
    You actually managed to restrain me...
[11:40] Host
    That must've been one
    hell of a magic potion.
[11:43] Host
    But I bet it took a big chunk
    of your magic power, huh?
[11:48] Host
    Paralyze only lasts for
    a few minutes at max.
[11:51] Host
    You really think you can finish
    me off with what you've got left?
[11:55] Host
    That's why I'll make you an offer.
[11:58] Host
    How about we both give it a rest for today?
[12:01] Host
    I'm sure you wanna heal your
    buddies on the ground over there.
[12:05] Host
    If you agree, I promise not to lay
    a claw on any of you for today.
[12:12] Host
    You know that demons don't ever break
    promises or bargains, don't you?
[12:20] Yunyun
    I-I'm willing to consider your offer.
[12:23] Yunyun
    We can both take our leave for today.
[12:27] Rex
    Hey, wait!
[12:28] Terry
    Yunyun, don't worry about us!
[12:32] Sophie
    We'll be fine.
[12:34] Sophie
    Just hurry and finish him off!
[12:37] Yunyun
    I-It's not that... s-see,
    the th-th-thing is...
[12:42] Host
    Wait, hang on a sec. Girl, did you...
[12:46] Host
    Don't tell me...
[12:48] Host
    You can't move either, can you?
[12:57] Host
    You Crimson Demons might be a pain to
    deal with, but I like you all the same!
[13:01] Host
    What kind of goofy spell-casting
    makes Paralyze affect the caster?!
[13:05] Yunyun
    I don't know either, okay?!
[13:08] (Flashback) Wiz
    This potion is guaranteed to increase the
    strength and affected area for Paralyze!
[13:15] Yunyun
    And then the pretty lady sold
    it to me at a great price!
[13:20] Host
    Oh, what a riot.
[13:22] Host
    So, now what? Since you gave me a real laugh,
[13:26] Host
    I'm still willing to let you off
    if you wanna make a deal.
[13:31] Yunyun
    A-Are you trying to pick a fight with me?!
[13:34] Yunyun
    C-Crimson Demons always
    accept a-all challenges!
[13:38] Megumin
    So, it seems none of you can move!
[13:49] Host
    You!
[13:50] Megumin
    Greetings. I happen to be a sorceress
    supreme who was just passing through.
[13:53] Megumin
    It seems you've all had quite the
    little encounter in my absence.
[13:58] Yunyun
    Megumin...
[14:00] Megumin
    Last night, when I was about to get up
[14:02] Megumin
    after realizing I had not performed
    my daily explosion magic,
[14:06] Megumin
    an unknown assailant cast
    Sleep magic on me...
[14:08] Yunyun
    Wait, y-you were awake?!
[14:10] Yunyun
    Hang on, you were awake back then?!
[14:12] Megumin
    And now, with an overflowing amount of
    magic power carried over from yesterday,
[14:17] Megumin
    who should I happen upon in
    my search for a good target?!
[14:24] Host
    Whoa! Your eyes!
[14:26] Host
    H-Hang on a sec! I get it, I do.
    Let's all just calm down...
[14:29] Yunyun
    I-If you were awake,
    you should have said something!
[14:33] Yunyun
    I would've cast Sleep the second
    I came into the room!
[14:36] Yunyun
    When did you wake up?!
    How much did you hear?!
[14:38] Megumin
    Well, if you're curious, around the time you
    unlocked the door to my room with magic,
[14:43] Megumin
    and asked, "You're asleep, right, Megumin?"
[14:46] Yunyun
    No!
[14:48] Megumin
    Now, then, am I to understand
    you've harmed my amusing comrade
[14:52] Megumin
    who was silly enough to monologue
    at someone who was wide awake,
[14:55] Megumin
    and then cast Paralyze on herself?
[14:57] Yunyun
    No! No more! Please stop!
[14:59] Yunyun
    I apologize, so stop!
    I'm sorry, so please, no more!
[15:02] Megumin
    Now, she may be the
    embarrassing type who says,
[15:05] Megumin
    "I think you're really cool and incredible,
    Megumin," when she thinks no one is listening...
[15:10] Yunyun
    No!
[15:12] Megumin
    And, "You're my best friend
    in the whole world."
[15:16] Megumin
    But after hearing all that...
[15:20] Megumin
    I can hardly ignore her suffering, can I?!
[15:23] Yunyun
    Kill me!
[15:25] Yunyun
    I can't move, so I can't run or do it myself!
    End my suffering now, please!
[15:28] Yunyun
    I can't go on living like this!
    I'd be better off dead!
[15:31] Rex
    Hey! How long are you going to goof around?!
[15:37] Rex
    What the...
[15:38] Megumin
    I am going to fire my great spell.
[15:42] Megumin
    The same instant victory magic that
    defeated your comrade, Arnes!
[15:46] Host
    Huh, you're the one who did her in?
[15:50] Host
    Well, seeing the kind of
    magic power you're packing,
[15:52] Host
    it makes sense that she couldn't survive it.
[16:00] Megumin
    The sparks of genesis.
    The embers of oblivion.
[16:05] Megumin
    Past, present, and future, a forbidden
    force that subsumes all creation.
[16:09] Megumin
    Flame, I am become destruction,
    without mercy.
[16:11] Host
    This is not my day, man.
[16:11] Megumin
    By my blood, by my flesh, the commandments
    set by the gods are now shattered!
[16:13] Host
    I probably could've survived this
    if I was at full strength, y'know.
[16:17] Host
    But I had a run-in with
    those weirdos yesterday...
[16:21] Host
    The stupidly durable Crusader
    and the thief in the shorts.
[16:24] Host
    And then, when I was gonna attack
    the town to let off some steam,
[16:27] Host
    that weird broad who was doing
    maintenance on the walls
[16:30] Host
    blasts me with some seriously
    nasty evil-banishing magic...
[16:35] Megumin
    Explosion!
[16:39] Host
    I guess this is one life wasted.
[16:43] Host
    What a mess. If I don't
    turn things around soon,
[16:46] Host
    that little kid's gonna actually gonna
    end up summoning me as her familiar...
[17:11] Cecily
    I knew it! I had absolute
    faith in you, Megumin!
[17:15] Cecily
    Your big sister knew you were gonna win!
[17:18] Megumin
    Miss, this is actually very uncomfortable,
    so please put me down...
[17:25] Cecily
    Aw, I know you're just playing hard-to-get!
[17:27] Cecily
    Now, then.
[17:29] Cecily
    I hate to say goodbye, but...
[17:31] Megumin
    Are you headed back to Arcanretia?
[17:34] Cecily
    No. I'm going on a journey.
[17:37] Cecily
    This experience taught me something.
[17:40] Cecily
    Healing magic by itself isn't enough.
[17:42] Cecily
    When I cast Bless on Megumin, like a
    proper priest should, it occurred to me...
[17:49] Cecily
    Wouldn't it be better
[17:50] Cecily
    if I wasn't just "beautiful,"
    but "the beautiful, skilled priest"?
[17:54] Megumin
    I hardly see how that matters at all.
[17:57] Cecily
    Besides, once I hit a certain level,
[17:59] Cecily
    I'll be eligible to take over the
    local church of any town I want!
[18:04] Megumin
    Miss, are you... plotting to take over this town?
[18:09] Cecily
    That's a secret!
[18:11] Megumin/Yunyun
    Sure seems like she is.
[18:16] Cecily
    Goodbye!
[18:19] Cecily
    Take care!
[18:21] Cecily
    Call me "big sister" one last time, maybe?!
[18:27] Yunyun
    Hey, Megumin...
[18:30] Yunyun
    Would you come with me for a sec?
[18:44] Yunyun
    My nemesis, and most renowned
    of Crimson Demons, Megumin!
[18:51] Yunyun
    I... I am called Yunyun!
[18:54] Yunyun
    Arch wizard, and wielder
    of intermediate magic!
[18:57] Yunyun
    She who will one day be chief
    of the Crimson Demons!
[19:00] Yunyun
    I intend to go on a journey.
[19:02] Yunyun
    Yes, a journey to master advanced magic,
    so that I might defeat you, my rival!
[19:08] Megumin
    But the other day, I wasn't your rival,
[19:11] Megumin
    but your "best friend in the whole world."
[19:14] Yunyun
    I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
[19:16] Megumin
    Don't tell me that after that
    embarrassing little confession,
[19:19] Megumin
    you plan on getting out of
    town until things calm down?
[19:22] Yunyun
    I know what you're thinking,
    but no, I'm not that stupid!
[19:25] Yunyun
    I mean, i-it's only gonna
    be for a while, so...
[19:30] Yunyun
    A-Anyway,
[19:32] Yunyun
    I hate to admit it, but you did
    end up beating that demon.
[19:36] Yunyun
    So I have to admit that, as I
    am now, I just can't beat you.
[19:40] Yunyun
    And if I stay with you, I doubt
    I'll be able to surpass you.
[19:44] Megumin
    I think that won't change even if you leave,
[19:47] Megumin
    considering I've got a nearly
    perfect record of beating you.
[19:50] Yunyun
    O-Oh, pipe down! I'm trying to be
    serious here, so don't butt in!
[19:54] Yunyun
    Anyway, what do you say?
[19:56] Yunyun
    After I learn advanced magic,
    do you want to settle things?
[20:01] Megumin
    By all means.
[20:02] Megumin
    When that happens, let's see who's truly
    greater, with no tricks or schemes.
[21:32] Adventurer A
    We have three more spots for
    front-line classes over here!
[21:36] Adventurer B
    Any priests around?
[21:37] Adventurer B
    The job's a goblin hunt,
    and it pays pretty well.
[21:40] Adventurer B
    We're looking for one more member!
[21:44] Megumin
    Stare...
[21:48] Adventurer A
    I think our spots just got filled!
[21:53] Megumin
    I shouldn't have tried to look cool by
    handing my remaining funds to Yunyun.
[22:00] Megumin
    No, that's not it.
[22:01] Megumin
    I was so sure that there'd be
    parties fighting to recruit me.
[22:07] Megumin
    "Immediate opening!
    We're a cozy, harmonious party."
[22:11] Megumin
    "I've been happy every day
    since I joined this party."
[22:13] Megumin
    "I got over my illness and became popular."
[22:16] Megumin
    What in the world is this?
    It definitely gives me a bad feeling...
[22:21] Megumin
    "Advanced job classes only"?
    I wonder what kind of party they are.
[22:27] Kazuma
    Hey, let's lower the bar a little.
[22:30] Kazuma
    Recruiting only members in
    advanced classes is way too strict.
[22:34] Aqua
    But... But...
[22:41] Kazuma
    At this rate, not a single person will come.
[22:44] Kazuma
    I mean, you might have an advanced class,
    but I'm still in the weakest.
[22:49] Kazuma
    I'll feel ashamed if I'm completely
    surrounded by the elite.
[22:52] Megumin
    I happened to notice your
    recruitment poster.
[22:58] Megumin
    That we would meet is a fate
    chosen by the world itself.
[23:01] Megumin
    I have anxiously awaited the arrival
    of those such as yourselves.
[23:10] Megumin
    I am called Megumin!
[23:12] Megumin
    My calling is that of an arch wizard,
[23:14] Megumin
    and one who controls explosion magic,
    the strongest of all offensive magic!
[23:20] Narrator
    This is the story of the girl known to
    some as a mage of exceptional quality,
[23:24] Narrator
    but more commonly known as a deranged
    user of explosion magic, and her companions.
[23:32] Narrator
    A grand new adventure is about to begin!