E11 - The Explosion Girl and the Forest Irregularity

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:14] Host
    What the hell was I thinking when I said I'd
    become that freaky little kid's familiar?
[00:22] Host
    The town of Axel... I'm pretty sure
    that's where I can find Lady Wolbach.
SIGN    KONOSUBA - An Explosion on This Wonderful World!
SIGN    Episode 11: The Explosion Girl and the Forest Irregularity
[02:00] Yunyun
    Fireball!
[02:12] Yunyun
    It's 5,000 eris for each one,
    so this 15,000 total.
[02:16] Yunyun
    Two more and we'll get a bonus of 10,000...
[02:20] Megumin
    We should move on to the woods.
[02:22] Yunyun
    Already?
[02:23] Megumin
    Fighting these bottom-feeders isn't
    doing much to raise our levels.
[02:27] Megumin
    I believe we should focus on efficiency.
[02:33] Kazuma
    H-Hey there, boss man...
[02:37] Kazuma
    See you tomorrow.
[02:38] Aqua
    See you tomorrow, boss man!
[02:42] Kazuma
    Hey, you wanna look for a
    different job tomorrow?
[02:46] Kazuma
    I don't think I'm cut out for manual labor.
[02:48] Aqua
    What are you whining about now?
    This is the problem with you shut-in NEETs.
[02:51] Kazuma
    I am not.
[02:52] Aqua
    Nothing good comes of quitting
    a job you just got.
[02:54] Aqua
    Come on, let's take our pay,
    wash off in the bath,
[02:57] Aqua
    eat something yummy, and give
    it another shot tomorrow!
[03:00] Yunyun
    Megumin? Something wrong?
[03:03] Megumin
    Oh, no.
[03:09] Yun
    Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid,
    stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!
[03:13] Yun
    How stupid do you have to be to pick a fight
[03:15] Yun
    with a huge colony like this,
    just for the payout?!
[03:17] Megumin
    Just who are you calling stupid?!
[03:19] Megumin
    Are you trying to start a fight?!
[03:20] Megumin
    Very well! Consider that challenge accepted!
[03:23] Megumin
    Duck and cover, Yunyun!
[03:26] Megumin
    Explosion!
[03:33] Host
    Hey, human. You alive?
[03:41] Host
    Looks like you're awake.
[03:43] Megumin
    Yes...
[03:55] Host
    So, I'm looking for a giant,
    ebon magic beast and—
[04:00] Host
    You... Those eyes...
[04:04] Host
    I am called Host!
[04:06] Host
    And I am not a giant goblin,
    but a high-ranked demon,
[04:10] Host
    and he who will be in the employ
    of a certain kid someday!
[04:15] Host
    How'd you like my little introduction?
[04:18] Host
    You Crimson Demons love this kinda...
[04:26] Luna
    You encountered a high-ranked
    demon in the woods?
[04:29] Yunyun
    Yes. He said he was looking for
    a giant, ebon magic beast...
[04:33] Luna
    I think I might know what he's talking about.
[04:36] Luna
    It's a very dangerous monster
    that's called a Rookie Slayer.
[04:40] Megumin
    Why would this demon be
    searching for it, though?
[04:46] Luna
    I appreciate you two sharing this with me.
[04:49] Luna
    This is a very dangerous situation...
[04:55] Yunyun
    This sure has escalated, hasn't it?
[04:59] Megumin
    We ran into him at an unfortunate time.
[05:02] Megumin
    Considering I had just spent
    all my magic power...
[05:04] Megumin
    Otherwise, I could have given
    him a rather incendiary hello!
[05:08] Yunyun
    Stop it! I don't think there's
    any beating that thing.
[05:11] Yunyun
    That demon seems like he could
    even withstand explosion magic.
[05:15] Megumin
    Should I interpret that as a challenge?
[05:18] Megumin
    Very well! Let's change our plans for
    tomorrow and head back to the woods—
[05:22] Yunyun
    No way! I am not going back to the woods!
[05:24] Yunyun
    If you want to do it, do it yourself!
[05:29] Adventurer A
    We need a priest for our group!
[05:31] Adventurer B
    Any mages around? If you can make
    potions, we could use your help!
[05:36] Wiz
    I've got some complimentary potions here.
[05:38] Adventurer C
    What a relief!
[05:41] Wiz
    Since the entire guild is getting
    involved, I wanted to help out.
[05:45] Adventurer C
    You might not do a lot of business, pretty
    lady, but your potions really hit the spot.
[05:48] Adventurer D
    If you're feeling generous, how about a date?
[05:52] Adventurer E
    Huh? All gone already?
[05:54] Wiz
    I'll head to the shop and bring some more!
[05:56] Adventurer E
    Guess we'll eat first.
[05:58] Adventurer F
    We're counting on you!
[06:00] Wiz
    I'm gonna need to buy more ingredients...
[06:02] Wiz
    Guess I'll be eating bread crusts and
    drinking sugar water for a while.
[06:06] Megumin
    Things seem quite lively!
[06:08] Yunyun
    Well, the guild wants to
    hunt this demon down...
[06:12] Yunyun
    Wait, Megumin! What are you so excited about?
[06:14] Yunyun
    You saw how scary he was!
[06:16] Yunyun
    We don't even get monsters that
    dangerous back home at the village!
[06:20] Megumin
    If you're feeling worried,
    by all means, you can wait here.
[06:24] Megumin
    They're offering a reward just
    for participating in the hunt.
[06:27] Megumin
    There's no way I'm missing an
    opportunity to get paid just for
[06:31] Megumin
    hanging around at the back of a crowd.
[06:33] Yunyun
    Well, i-if you're going,
    I can't let you do it alone...
[06:37] Megumin
    Did you say something? I'm sure you did.
[06:39] Megumin
    Go on, let's hear it a bit more loudly!
[06:42] Yunyun
    I know you heard me!
[06:44] Yunyun
    You heard me and just want me
    to say it again, don't you?!
[06:47] Megumin
    Granted, I'm not purely
    in this for the reward.
[06:52] Megumin
    Think for a second.
    A striking performance here
[06:55] Megumin
    will have people begging us to join their
    parties, and not the other way around.
[06:59] Megumin
    We'll be fighting off offers!
[07:08] Yunyun
    Fireball!
[07:18] Rex
    Well, damn!
[07:19] Terry
    Impressive.
[07:21] Sophie
    Isn't that girl... you know, the one
[07:23] Sophie
    who's always playing cards
    in a corner of the guild?
[07:26] Megumin
    Very impressive, Yunyun.
[07:31] Adventurer Voice
    What the?!
[07:33] Adventurer Voice
    Clear a path!
[07:35] Rex
    It's him! The hero with the cursed
    sword who was taking point!
[07:39] Mitsurugi
    Let me down! I can still fight!
[07:42] Mitsurugi
    I can't give up... Not now!
[07:44] Fio
    Please, don't talk!
[07:48] Mitsurugi
    I'm not done... I can still fight!
[07:48] Rex
    A hero with a cursed sword got beat...
[07:51] Rex
    It's no good. There's no way we can do this!
[07:52] Mitsurugi
    Put me down!
[07:53] Adventurer F
    It's as strong as one of the
    Devil King's Army generals!
[07:55] Adventurer F
    Retreat!
[07:57] Adventurer E
    Retreat now! Everybody, fall back!
[07:59] Mitsurugi
    Please! Damn it!
[08:06] Luna
    I've been informed how
    the hunt went, everyone.
[08:10] Luna
    It seems this is quite the dangerous foe.
[08:13] Luna
    And the famed cursed sword adventurer
    has apparently been seriously injured.
[08:17] Rex
    The bottom line is, if he got beaten
    that badly, none of us stand a chance.
[08:22] Adventurer C
    You guys are the toughest party
    in town! Is it really that bad?
[08:26] Terry
    Well, a couple dozen from our main
    fighting force have been injured,
[08:29] Terry
    and even with the priests using
    healing magic and potions on them...
[08:33] Sophie
    It'll be a while before we can try again.
[08:35] Adventurer A
    So what now?! We just wait around
    for this thing to kill us?!
[08:39] Adventurer B
    Is there really nothing we can do?
[08:41] Luna
    I can think of one possible solution!
[08:44] Luna
    There's someone who registered
    as an adventurer recently...
[08:47] Luna
    And, apparently, Axel is now
    host to an expert exorcist
[08:51] Luna
    with the rare class of arch priest!
[08:54] Rex
    What?!
[08:55] Terry
    You mean the one said to be
    the natural enemy of all demons?
[08:58] Terry
    Wait, if they just registered,
    they'd still only be level 1, right?
[09:02] Luna
    But here's the interesting thing.
[09:04] Luna
    With a few exceptions, all of
    her stats are off the charts!
[09:08] Luna
    Not only that, but she's
    such a gifted arch priest,
[09:11] Luna
    she already knows all the class skills!
[09:13] Rex
    Are you serious?
[09:14] Sophie
    She may even be able to beat that demon...
[09:17] Luna
    The only problem is, I haven't
    seen her around the guild lately.
[09:20] Luna
    I think she's still in town, but...
[09:22] Rex
    Hey, what's she look like?!
[09:24] Rex
    We've gotta find this arch priest,
    so give us a description!
[09:28] Luna
    She has striking blue hair...
[09:31] Luna
    and beauty akin to a goddess!
[09:42] Yunyun
    They all ran off, huh?
[09:44] Yunyun
    What do you think?
    Should we look for her, too?
[09:47] Megumin
    They seem desperate enough
    to find her in short order.
[09:51] Megumin
    I'm feeling exhausted, for some reason...
[09:53] Yunyun
    Really?
[09:55] Yunyun
    I think I'll stick around a bit longer.
[09:58] Megumin
    Oh, I see. Waiting to be scouted
    by another party, is that it?
[10:02] Yunyun
    That's not it, I swear!
[10:04] Megumin
    Sure, sure, just don't stay
    out too late tonight.
[10:07] Yunyun
    Got it! Don't worry, I'll be back before dawn.
[10:11] Megumin
    Sooner than that, please!
[10:14] Adventurer (30s)
    Find the blue-haired goddess!
[10:19] Aqua
    Hey!
[10:21] Aqua
    Would you pay attention?! Thanks to you,
[10:25] Aqua
    I dropped my pay, and now that's
    10,000 eris all over the ground!
[10:28] Aqua
    Hurry and pick it up already!
[10:30] Aqua
    And if I find any missing,
    you'll be making up the difference!
[10:33] Adventurer L
    L-Look, I'm sorry.
[10:35] Adventurer L
    But that definitely doesn't
    look like a whole 10,000 eris.
[10:39] Adventurer L
    Wait, your hair...
[10:41] Aqua
    What?! You got a problem?
[10:44] Adventurer L
    It couldn't be...
[10:46] Adventurer L
    She's kinda shabby-looking, too...
[10:48] Adventurer L
    And I doubt high-ranked clergy
    would try to scam someone like this.
[10:52] Aqua
    You say something?!
[10:53] Adventurer L
    No! And anyway, I'm in a hurry!
[10:55] Adventurer L
    You can have this, so let me go!
[10:59] Aqua
    Awesome! I really used my head this time!
[11:02] Aqua
    Come on, help me pick up the
    cash that's on the ground!
[11:06] Aqua
    Wait, why are you crying?
[11:08] Kazuma
    It's just... you're a such a...
[11:13] Megumin
    No. There's no way that's her.
[11:23] Cecily
    Welcome home, Megumin!
[11:26] Cecily
    Would you like to take a bath? Or take me?
[11:28] Cecily
    Or take the Axis Sect into your life?
[11:36] Megumin
    There are a lot of questions
    I could ask you, miss...
[11:39] Cecily
    It's Cecily!
[11:40] Cecily
    I think it's time we consider
    moving our relationship
[11:42] Cecily
    to the stage where we
    call each other by name.
[11:45] Megumin
    What are you doing here, miss?
[11:47] Cecily
    It's Cecily!
[11:49] Cecily
    And, well, that's a bit of a long story...
[11:53] Cecily
    Explaining would be a drag, so let's just
    say it was Divine Aqua's providence.
[11:57] Megumin
    That's no explanation at all.
[11:59] Megumin
    And how did you even get in
    here when it was locked?
[12:03] Cecily
    To be honest... I'm in need
    of your help, Megumin.
[12:08] Megumin
    I hope you don't think you can fool
    me by acting serious all of a sudden.
[12:11] Cecily
    Father Zesta heard the
    goddess Aqua's holy voice.
[12:16] Cecily
    "My name is Aqua."
[12:18] Cecily
    "Yes, the patron deity of the
    Axis Order, Aqua the goddess!"
[12:23] Cecily
    "And if you believe in me..."
[12:25] Cecily
    "I'd appreciate it if I could
    borrow some money!"
[12:28] Cecily
    ...it said.
[12:29] Megumin
    Well, every bit of that sounds suspicious.
[12:32] Cecily
    Not only that, but he heard the
    voice from right here in Axel.
[12:36] Cecily
    And so, the Axis Order's beautiful priest
[12:39] Cecily
    was dispatched to investigate
    the source of this oracle.
[12:44] Megumin
    Your sect really must have
    nothing better to do.
[12:49] Cecily
    But after coming here, I think I understand
    part of what the oracle was about.
[12:54] Cecily
    I hear this place is being threatened
    by the enemies of our order—a demon.
[12:59] Cecily
    So I've come to interpret the oracle
[13:02] Cecily
    as orders for me to use the
    order's funds to hire people
[13:05] Cecily
    so that they can kill the demon
    who has appeared in this town.
[13:09] Megumin
    That seems like a very
    liberal interpretation.
[13:12] Megumin
    And could you move, please?
[13:15] Megumin
    This is my room, and that's my bed—
[13:19] Cecily
    The first thing that came to mind
    after getting to town was...
[13:23] Cecily
    the help of one who'd been our ally before...
[13:26] Cecily
    and that's you, Megumin.
[13:28] Megumin
    Whatever! I don't care anymore!
    Just get out of there, now!
[13:31] Cecily
    There are so few Axis faithful in town!
[13:34] Cecily
    The local church is barely functioning,
[13:36] Cecily
    so I can't afford to hire anyone else!
[13:38] Megumin
    I don't care! I sincerely don't care!
[13:41] Megumin
    And I would rather have nothing
    to do with you people ever again!
[13:44] Megumin
    And for pity's sake,
    stop trying to sniff my sheets!
[13:47] Megumin
    Stop panting!
[13:49] Cecily
    I have 5,000,000 for you
[13:52] Cecily
    if you'll help me find the arch priest
    that's supposed to live here.
[13:59] Cecily
    And if we slay the demon,
    I'll make it 10,000,000.
[14:04] Megumin
    I'm in.
[14:08] Adventurer 3E
    Hey, any luck? You find her?
[14:10] Adventurer 4H
    Nothing! Although I did see a drunk
    street performer with blue hair.
[14:15] Adventurer 4H
    Damn it, where did that amazing
    blue-haired arch priest get to?
[14:20] Megumin
    Do you really think it's
    likely we'll find someone
[14:24] Megumin
    that they've already scoured the town for?
[14:28] Megumin
    We're dealing with an arch priest.
    Could she be praying in a church?
[14:33] Megumin
    Or maybe she's at a public cemetery,
    helping lost souls find rest?
[14:39] Cecily
    If it were me...
[14:41] Cecily
    First, I'd rush the public bath so
    that I can get in before anyone else,
[14:44] Cecily
    then munch on some fried frogs
    washed down with crimson beer,
[14:49] Cecily
    then get into a brawl with the drunks who
[14:50] Cecily
    lash my luscious body
    with their lascivious looks,
[14:53] Cecily
    and finally toss rocks at the local
    Eris church, and go home satisfied!
[14:57] Megumin
    I was a fool to even ask you.
[15:00] Cecily
    Come on, Megumin!
[15:02] Cecily
    We can search tomorrow! Tonight,
    let's hit the baths together!
[15:06] Cecily
    We can wash each other!
[15:08] Megumin
    I can go home if you don't intend to find her.
[15:11] Cecily
    What is this?
[15:13] Megumin
    I thought it was extremely unlikely
    that such a powerful arch priest
[15:17] Megumin
    would be a member of the Axis sect,
    so visiting an Eris church might be—
[15:20] Cecily
    Open the hell up!
[15:22] Cecily
    We know you're hiding this arch priest
    that can take care of this demon hunt!
[15:26] Cecily
    Open the damn door unless
    you want it kicked in!
[15:29] Eris Order Voice
    There's no one like that there!
[15:31] Eris Order Voice
    This church reserves the right to bar
    members of the Axis sect from entering!
[15:34] Eris Order Voice
    Please leave, now!
[15:37] Cecily
    Megumin, you're up. Go ahead and
    obliterate this church, please.
[15:42] Megumin
    I will do no such thing!
[15:45] Megumin
    This is already annoying enough. Please
    don't make it any more complicated...
[15:54] Cecily
    Strike!
SIGN    KONOSUBA - An Explosion on This Wonderful World!
[15:57] Cecily
    Out!
[15:58] Megumin
    Are you insane?! What in the world
    motivated you to do such a thing?!
[16:03] Cecily
    To be honest, it is a little odd!
[16:05] Cecily
    I've been feeling weirdly
    excited ever since I got here!
[16:08] Cecily
    Maybe it's a blessing
    from holy Aqua herself?
[16:11] Megumin
    If that's her idea of a blessing,
[16:13] Megumin
    then if I ever encounter this goddess Aqua,
    the first thing I do will be to attack her.
[16:32] Megumin
    Wh-What is it?!
[16:36] Cecily
    Megumin, you seriously screamed, "Hwah!"
[16:39] Cecily
    How absolutely adorable!
[16:41] Cecily
    Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I won't do it again!
[16:51] Megumin
    Shall we turn around on three?
[16:53] Cecily
    Sounds good. We'll turn
    around at the same time,
[16:56] Cecily
    and if there's anything there,
    we fight it together.
[16:58] Cecily
    Okay?
[16:59] Megumin
    Understood.
[17:01] Both
    One, two...
[17:03] Cecily
    Hey! This isn't what we agreed on!
[17:05] Megumin
    I should be saying that!
[17:07] Cecily
    I am technically your boss
    on this outing, you realize!
[17:10] Megumin
    I haven't been paid yet!
[17:12] Megumin
    And I'm helping you find someone,
    not acting as your bodyguard!
[17:20] Wiz
    Things sure have gotten pretty
    lively around Axel lately.
[17:38] Megumin
    Yunyun...
[17:44] Yunyun
    Thanks. You're trying to
    cheer me up, aren't you?
[17:56] Yunyun
    I thought about going home, of course!
[17:58] Yunyun
    It's just, then I thought,
[18:00] Yunyun
    "What if someone shows up to ask
    me to join them after I've left?"
[18:05] Yunyun
    And then I couldn't leave!
[18:09] Yunyun
    You seem really tired too, Megumin.
[18:12] Megumin
    I've just been rather busy...
[18:14] Rex
    Hey there, Crimson Demon gals.
[18:17] Rex
    You two are arch wizards, right?
[18:19] Megumin
    Yes, we are. Can I help you?
[18:21] Rex
    My name is Rex, and we've cooked
    up a pretty great plan.
[18:26] Rex
    But we're gonna need some
    spell casters to pull it off.
[18:31] Rex
    So, would you like to work with us?
[18:39] Yunyun
    Sleep!
[18:51] Rex
    That was really impressive, Yunyun!
[18:54] Rex
    How about it? You wanna join our party?
[18:58] Yunyun
    You want me?
[19:00] Rex
    Well, we can discuss it
    in detail back at town.
[19:03] Rex
    First, let's drag this thing
    back and celebrate!
[19:06] Yunyun
    O-Okay!
[19:08] Rex
    Since the demon is looking for a black
    magic beast, it's gotta be this thing.
[19:14] Sophie
    Once it's caged up, maybe the demon
    will approach us to negotiate.
[19:18] Megumin
    Something... seems off about this.
[19:23] Host
    There you are!
[19:27] Host
    What the hell did you punks
    do to Lady Wolbach?!
[19:36] Host
    Lady Wolbach!
[19:39] Yunyun
    H-Hey, Megumin! Aren't we in
    serious trouble right now?!
[19:42] Megumin
    Shh! Let's evaluate the situation
    while slowly getting some distance.
[19:46] Host
    Whoa, now, this is just a Rookie Slayer.
[19:51] Host
    Hey, you two!
[19:53] Host
    I rushed here because I caught the
    familiar scent of Lady Wolbach...
[19:58] Host
    So how come I can smell it on you two?
[20:01] Megumin
    I'm certain now. This demon is
    after my familiar, Chomusuke!
[20:07] Host
    Seems to be particularly strong on you, too.
[20:12] Host
    Well? Care to explain?
[20:15] Host
    Come to think of it, you're the Crimson
    Demons I saw in the forest, right?
[20:20] Host
    There's no way that you
    don't know Lady Wolbach.
[20:26] Megumin
    Wh-Why do you all seem to call my
    Chomusuke this bizarre name, "Wolbach"?
[20:31] Megumin
    I'm sure you've got the wrong cat!
[20:33] Megumin
    If you'd like, I can get you
    another cute black kitten!
[20:37] Megumin
    So, please, stop harassing my Chomusuke!
[20:40] Host
    Chomusuke? What's that supposed to be?
[20:42] Host
    Actually, I've heard the name before...
[20:45] Host
    I think the shrimp mentioned it.
[20:48] Host
    Come to think of it,
    you kinda look like her...
[20:51] Megumin
    What shrimp?
[20:52] Host
    I don't wanna get into a beef
    with any Crimson Demons.
[20:56] Host
    Think of it as a deal. You hand Lady
    Wolbach over, and I won't harm you.
[21:02] Host
    Or the town, for that matter.
[21:04] Yunyun
    You expect us to believe a demon?!
[21:07] Host
    Demons always deliver on a deal.
[21:10] Host
    They're absolute for us,
    and totally unbreakable.
[21:13] Host
    So, what's it gonna be?
[21:26] Yunyun
    What do we do? Make a deal with that demon?
[21:31] Megumin
    I'm not sure yet.
[21:33] Megumin
    But if handing the furball over actually
    resolves this, it might be a good idea.
[21:38] Yunyun
    You can't believe what that demon says!
[21:41] Yunyun
    Besides, I know they say
    this town is for beginners,
[21:45] Yunyun
    but there are plenty of proper adventurers.
[21:47] Yunyun
    I'm sure someone...
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SIGN    Episode 12: "An Explosion on This Wonderful World!"
[23:25] Yunyun
    Big trouble, Megumin!
[23:27] Yunyun
    Extremely big trouble!
[23:28] Megumin
    Crimson Demons accept any
    and all challengers!
[23:30] Megumin
    We're taking him down!
[23:32] Yunyun
    I think you're cool, Megumin. And amazing.
[23:35] Yunyun
    N-Next time, for your wonderful
    world, we'll have an...
[23:38] Megumin
    Explosion!