E5 - You Can't Run from the Goddess

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Schoolgirl A
    See you later.
[00:07] Schoolgirl B
    Yeah, bye!
[00:09] Feles
    Remember, I haven't had a break in ages.
[00:13] Equa
    I know, but—
[00:15] Martes
    Equa-senpai!
[00:16] Equa
    Martes-san...
[00:18] Martes
    What are you talking about?
[00:19] Equa
    Feles-san and I were chatting about work.
[00:21] Martes
    Oh, Feles-senpai. I didn't see you there.
[00:24] Feles
    I've been in full view this whole time.
[00:26] Equa
    Perfect timing. I'd like you
    to see this too, Martes-san.
[00:30] Martes
    You got it!
[00:32] Equa
    Good. Thank you so much.
[00:35] Equa
    This time, we'll be going
    to the Odaiba Cluster.
[00:38] Equa
    Our client is named Vivaldi-san.
[00:41] Martes
    Odaiba! Woo-hoo!
[00:43] Feles
    What's in Odaiba?
[00:45] Martes
    Don't you know? Odaiba is
    all about hot springs!
[00:50] Feles
    Hot springs?!
[00:51] Martes
    The whole cluster is full
    of all kinds of them.
[00:55] Martes
    And that's not all!
[01:00] Anti-Undies Marte
    Hot springs! A naked paradise!
SIGN    Anti-Undies Party (fringe)
    MP Marte
[01:03] Anti-Undies Marte
    A chance to see Equa-senpai go commando!
SIGN    Estab Life: Great Escape
SIGN    You Can't Run from the Goddess
[02:43] Equa
    Is everyone ready?
[02:45] Martes
    Yes, Senpai! A final check?
[02:48] Martes
    I'm good to go!
[02:50] Martes
    What about you?
[02:51] Ulula
    Bow-wow!
[02:52] Alga
    I have none equipped today.
[02:54] Martes
    You never do!
[02:56] Feles
    What are you all talking about?
[03:00] Martes
    Hm?
[03:02] Martes
    Equa-senpai! I don't think
    she's taken hers off at all!
[03:06] Feles
    Huh? What? What do you mean?
[03:09] Equa
    Underwear is forbidden
    in the Odaiba Cluster.
SIGN    The wearing of underpants is prohibited in the Odaiba Cluster.
[03:14] Equa
    See? "The wearing of underpants is
    prohibited in the Odaiba Cluster."
SIGN    PROHIBITED
[03:21] Feles
    Excuse me?! Underwear is banned?!
[03:24] Feles
    What?!
[03:25] Martes
    I knew it. She had no clue.
[03:27] Equa
    It's her first visit,
    so you can't blame her.
[03:29] Feles
    Huh? Hang on!
[03:31] Feles
    Don't tell me...
[03:34] Feles
    You all took yours off?
[03:36] Equa
    Yes. That's the rule.
[03:38] Feles
    No way! What's wrong with this cluster?!
[03:40] Martes
    There's nothing we can do about it.
[03:42] Martes
    Is there, Equa-senpai?
[03:44] Equa
    Nope.
[03:46] Feles
    Y-You really took yours off?
[03:48] Equa
    Do you want me to show you?
[03:50] Feles
    Stop!
[03:51] Equa
    Now, please take yours off.
[03:53] Feles
    Hey.
[03:54] Equa
    You can keep your shorts as long
    as you remove your underwear.
[04:00] Feles
    H-Here? Right now?
[04:03] Martes
    If you need to change,
[04:04] Martes
    do it in there!
[04:09] Feles
    What?!
[04:15] Equa
    All right, everybody.
[04:17] Equa
    We've arrived.
[04:19] Equa
    This is the Odaiba Cluster.
[04:21] Martes
    Hot springs!
[04:24] Feles
    Wow.
[04:26] Feles
    That Ferris wheel...
SIGN    Paradise
[04:28] Equa
    Has baths installed.
[04:30] Martes
    The beach has sand baths!
[04:33] Feles
    I see Mt. Fuji in the distance.
    Is that a backdrop?
[04:36] Equa
    It's projected on the walls.
[04:38] Feles
    And houseboats, too?
[04:39] Martes
    Talk about ambiance!
[04:41] Feles
    It seems like a comfy place to live.
[04:46] Resident
    H-Huh?
[04:49] Alga
    I might rust if we stay too long.
[04:52] Ulula
    Arf!
[04:53] Alga
    Who're you calling "junk"?
[04:54] Ulula
    Arf...
[04:56] Martes
    Senpai, let's hop into a bath first thing.
[04:59] Equa
    Our client is waiting for us.
[05:01] Martes
    How about afterward?
[05:03] Equa
    Of course, if we have time.
[05:05] Martes
    Ya-hoo!
[05:07] Feles
    Our client is a priestess, right?
[05:09] Feles
    Where does she live?
[05:11] Equa
    Over there, in Odaiba Temple.
[05:14] Feles
    That's a temple?
[05:18] Alga
    What's the world coming to if
    priestesses want to run away?
[05:21] Martes
    Why would she want to escape
    such a great cluster?!
[05:25] Equa
    Everyone has their own issues.
[05:28] Equa
    It's the goddess statue!
[05:30] Feles
    What goddess?
[05:31] Equa
    I hear it represents this
    cluster's moderator.
[05:35] Equa
    People gather to pray in the
    square in front of the statue.
[05:38] Martes
    Do you think that goddess
    is going commando, too?
[05:43] Equa
    I wonder.
[05:46] Feles
    Hm? Huh? What?!
[05:48] Resident A
    That person is an u-un...
[05:51] Resident B
    An under-wearer?!
[05:52] Resident C
    I thought they were a myth!
[05:54] Residents
    An under-wearer?
[05:55] Residents
    A deviant!
[05:57] Residents
    For real?
[05:58] Residents
    I've never seen one before.
[05:59] Residents
    Watch out!
[06:00] Residents
    The legendary...?
[06:02] Residents
    Don't look!
[06:02] Feles
    What?
[06:03] Residents
    It's possible!
[06:04] Martes
    Don't tell me you're still wearing yours.
[06:07] Equa
    Feles-san...
[06:08] Feles
    Huh? Well...
[06:10] Equa
    The people of Odaiba can tell
    if you're wearing underpants.
[06:13] Feles
    What kind of power is that?!
[06:15] Martes
    We told you to take them off earlier!
[06:18] Feles
    B-But...
[06:21] Feles
    I didn't want to.
[06:23] Resident A
    Remove those this instant!
[06:25] Resident B
    It's not too late to rethink your choices!
[06:27] Resident C
    Regain your humanity, under-wearer!
[06:30] Residents
    Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!
[06:34] Equa
    Let's get out of here for now!
[06:35] Feles
    Oh, um... I don't think
    I'm in the wrong here!
[06:38] Equa
    These are the rules in this cluster.
[06:42] Equa
    Feles-san! Please remove
    your underwear immediately.
[06:45] Feles
    No way!
[06:45] Equa
    They'll keep chasing us unless you do.
[06:51] Equa
    Feles-san!
[06:56] Feles
    Hang on!
[06:59] Equa
    Are you all right, Feles-san?!
[07:01] Feles
    How could I be?!
[07:03] Feles
    Hey! No pulling!
[07:05] Feles
    Wait! Put me down! Go away!
[07:09] Feles
    Stop! Stop!
[07:11] Feles
    I said, stop it!
[07:12] Equa
    You could get hurt if you struggle!
[07:13] Feles
    No one wants this!
[07:16] Martes
    Just go with the flow!
[07:18] Feles
    Come on! Help me out!
[07:20] Feles
    What's going on?
[07:22] Feles
    Oh, for the love of...
[07:32] Martes
    You've done it now.
[07:34] Feles
    Are you saying I should have
    just let them strip me?!
[07:38] Martes
    That's what we've been telling
    you this whole time.
[07:42] Feles
    I can't take any more.
[07:43] Alga
    New arrivals!
[07:45] Equa
    In any case, let's run!
[07:55] Martes
    In this town, wearing underwear is as bad as
    dancing naked in the middle of the street.
[08:03] Equa
    Unfortunately, it's only a matter
    of time until they find us.
[08:07] Alga
    Hardly professional conduct.
[08:08] Ulula
    Woof.
[08:10] Martes
    I don't want to die for
    your underwear, Feles-senpai.
[08:14] Feles
    Seriously?
[08:16] Equa
    Feles-san, it's not too late.
[08:19] Equa
    Take off your underwear,
    and then let's enjoy this job.
[08:22] Feles
    Huh?
[08:25] Feles
    Um...
[08:27] Feles
    Give me a second.
[08:29] Equa
    All right.
[08:33] Feles
    Here.
[08:35] Equa
    Good. Your underwear is safe in my care.
[08:40] Feles
    Don't say it out loud!
[08:42] Equa
    I'll take good care of these panties.
[08:47] Feles
    Why me?
[08:56] Vivaldi
    Pure and righteous people of Odaiba!
[08:59] Vivaldi
    Remember the words of the goddess!
[09:02] Vivaldi
    "Wear them not."
[09:05] Vivaldi
    The goddess went commando in fair
    weather and foul to set an example!
[09:14] Vivaldi
    Disaster shall surely befall all
    those who doubt the goddess!
[09:18] Vivaldi
    Someone once sought to peek
    beneath Her robe and check.
[09:22] Vivaldi
    A swarm of a thousand panties afflicted
    them with the itching plague!
[09:30] Vivaldi
    Even more terrible punishments await
    those who dare to wear underpants!
[09:35] Resident A
    Lady Vivaldi!
[09:37] Vivaldi
    What's wrong?!
[09:38] Resident A
    A suspicious woman just appeared,
    and she was wearing p-p-panties.
[09:46] Resident
    This presages disaster.
[09:50] Vivaldi
    There is nothing to fear!
[09:53] Vivaldi
    The goddess sees all.
[09:55] Vivaldi
    Her divine wrath shall always
    overtake the wicked.
[10:01] Vivaldi
    Let us pray. De nude!
[10:04] Residents
    De nude! De nude! De nude! De nude! De nude!
[10:12] Residents
    De nude! De nude! De nude! De nude! De nude!
[10:26] Vivaldi
    My very own...
[10:29] Vivaldi
    undies.
[10:37] Equa
    Excuse us.
[10:38] Vivaldi
    N-No! It's n-not what it looks like!
[10:41] Equa
    Please don't worry. We're extractors.
[10:44] Equa
    We're here to help you.
[10:47] Vivaldi
    Oh!
[10:48] Vivaldi
    How long I've waited for you!
[10:51] Martes
    Are those panties you're holding?
[10:55] Vivaldi
    You see...
[10:58] Vivaldi
    I want to wear them!
[10:59] Vivaldi
    I-I know it's shameful, but I do.
[11:01] Feles
    No, that's normal!
[11:03] Vivaldi
    No. In this cluster, it is heretical.
[11:08] Vivaldi
    Freedom, equality, no underpants!
    Such is the Goddess of Odaiba's creed.
[11:14] Vivaldi
    The people sought freedom and airflow.
[11:16] Vivaldi
    The underwear they discarded after
    bathing affected the ecosystem, and...
[11:20] Martes
    Uh-huh...
[11:22] Equa
    And that's why you want to escape?
[11:23] Vivaldi
    It is! I can bear it no longer!
[11:26] Vivaldi
    I may wear underwear all the time
    in other clusters, may I not?
[11:30] Equa
    Of course.
[11:32] Equa
    Vivaldi-san, fleeing your cluster means
    abandoning your wealth and status.
[11:40] Equa
    Do you consent to that?
[11:46] Vivaldi
    I'm sure that the goddess
    will never forgive me,
[11:51] Vivaldi
    but my mind is made up.
[11:54] Vivaldi
    I will abandon my faith
    and flee with my undies.
[11:58] Equa
    I understand.
[11:59] Equa
    Then, please put your thumbprint here.
SIGN    Client: Vivaldi (seal)
[12:02] Vivaldi
    I'm in your hands.
SIGN    Client:
SIGN    Client: Vivaldi
SIGN    Client: Vivaldi (seal)
[12:10] Newscaster
    The suspicious individual wearing
    prohibited garments is still at large.
[12:14] Newscaster
    A search is ongoing.
SIGN    Description
SIGN     Late teens (estimated)
     Approximately 170cm
     Slender
     Large hair ties
     Armed with handguns
SIGN    Suspicious individual wearing prohibited garments at large If sighted, report immediately
[12:16] Newscaster
    The individual is armed with
    handguns and extremely dangerous.
[12:21] Newscaster
    Please bring any potential leads
    to the nearest inspector.
[12:28] Martes
    What's wrong?
[12:29] Feles
    The wind! People will see.
[12:33] Martes
    Nothing I can do about that.
[12:35] Feles
    Have a heart!
[12:40] Equa
    Let's go over the escape route.
[12:42] Equa
    We'll reach the water bus
    via that boiler plant.
[12:46] Equa
    Alga-san, if you would?
[12:48] Alga
    Sure.
[12:50] Alga
    This should about cover it, little lady!
[12:53] Equa
    Vivaldi-san, we'll be passing through this
    uncertain area to reach our destination.
[13:00] Alga
    What a pain.
[13:05] Vivaldi
    Um... If you need a guide, I can help.
[13:09] Equa
    Thank you! Please do!
[13:11] Martes
    Basically, we're going through a
    building and escaping out to sea!
[13:15] Equa
    Yes, that's right! We'll take a
    boat from the water bus stand.
[13:19] Martes
    Got it!
[13:23] Equa
    Let's start by crossing to that building.
[13:37] Alga
    What are you waiting for?
[13:38] Feles
    It feels kind of breezy.
[13:41] Alga
    Get a move on.
[13:43] Feles
    That's easy for you to say.
[13:44] Alga
    Just hurry up.
[13:46] Feles
    F-Fine! This won't be so hard!
[13:51] Feles
    No way! No, no, no!
[13:54] Alga
    Pipe down!
[14:00] Equa
    Feles-san?
[14:01] Feles
    Don't look up! Look down! Down!
[14:07] Feles
    Hey, why am I in the lead?
[14:11] Equa
    Well, the enemy could be
    waiting to ambush us.
[14:17] Equa
    What's wrong?
[14:19] Feles
    Please don't look forward. You'll see.
[14:26] Feles
    Huh?
[14:28] Feles
    Wh-What's this?
[14:30] Feles
    What's a floor like this doing here?
[14:37] Feles
    Isn't there another way?!
[14:39] Martes
    Hurry up!
[14:41] Feles
    But someone will see!
[14:51] Martes
    Bam!
[14:52] Feles
    We finally made it out.
[15:00] Martes
    Oh, man. And after all that work
    we did to not get spotted, too.
[15:04] Feles
    What else could I have done?!
[15:07] Martes
    Here come more!
[15:08] Ulula
    Woof!
[15:09] Alga
    This looks bad!
[15:11] Equa
    There's nothing we can do! Let's hurry!
[15:13] Equa
    Get the boat ready.
[15:15] Feles
    Hurry!
[15:20] Equa
    Get in, everybody.
[15:22] Ulula
    Arf.
[15:22] Vivaldi
    Right!
[15:27] Alga
    I've got control of this boat!
[15:32] Equa
    It's about to get bumpy!
[15:41] Martes
    We're done for if this keeps up.
[15:43] Equa
    Feles-san, shoot them down!
[15:45] Feles
    I'm trying, but I'm at my limit!
[15:48] Martes
    Use that move with the weird name
    you pulled off in Shinjuku!
[15:52] Feles
    In this situation?!
[15:54] Feles
    I can't! Everyone will see!
[15:55] Martes
    Who cares if someone sees your butt?
[15:58] Feles
    There's just no way!
[16:00] Vivaldi
    Oh! All this for my wish to wear underpants!
[16:15] Martes
    Missiles incoming!
[16:26] Ulula
    Woof!
[16:30] Ulula
    Bow-wow-wow!
[16:33] Martes
    Nice going!
[16:36] Ulula
    Awoo!
[16:38] Equa
    Ulula-san!
[16:39] Martes
    Dog Breath!
[16:44] Martes
    Equa-senpai, there are a lot more on the way!
[16:46] Feles
    Just keep firing!
[16:49] Vivaldi
    Will we be all right?
[16:50] Alga
    What's our next move?!
[16:52] Equa
    I think this will work.
[16:53] Vivaldi
    Huh?!
[16:54] Alga
    Do it, little lady!
[16:56] Equa
    Right!
[16:57] Equa
    This will get us through!
[17:01] Feles
    We're heading for land?!
[17:03] Martes
    Equa-senpai!
[17:23] Martes
    There's still one left!
[17:36] Vivaldi
    Goddess?!
[17:51] Equa
    Are you all safe?
[17:52] Martes
    Ow, ow, ow...
[17:54] Martes
    I survived, but I don't know how.
[17:56] Feles
    I'm fine. More importantly,
    we need to get out of here!
[18:00] Vivaldi
    Huh?
[18:01] Vivaldi
    The goddess is...
[18:04] Martes
    Huh?
[18:07] Feles
    Why?
[18:08] Vivaldi
    Sh-She's...
[18:10] Vivaldi
    She's wearing
[18:12] Vivaldi
    panties?!
[18:14] Feles
    What?!
[18:27] Residents
    Underwear.
[18:28] Residents
    The itching plague is coming.
[18:30] Residents
    We'll suffer her divine retribution!
[18:32] Resident C
    Why?
[18:33] Resident D
    Actually...
[18:35] Resident E
    Why have we never noticed before?!
[18:37] Residents
    Th-Then...
[18:38] Residents
    How dreadful.
[18:39] Residents
    What was that proscription
    against underwear?!
[18:40] Residents
    I can see writing.
[18:41] Residents
    What's that?
[18:44] Resident A
    Lady Vivaldi!
[18:45] Resident D
    Lady Vivaldi!
[18:46] Vivaldi
    Is this... the word of the goddess?
[18:51] Vivaldi
    The seal was broken and the
    goddess remembered that
[18:56] Vivaldi
    there was a time when she
    wore underpants herself.
[19:03] Vivaldi
    My people, wear underpants.
[19:08] Vivaldi
    But only for one hour each day!
[19:12] Residents
    Undies for an hour a day!
[19:14] Residents
    Undies for an hour a day!
[19:17] Residents
    Undies for an hour a day!
[19:19] Residents
    Undies for an hour a day!
[19:21] Residents
    Undies for an hour a day!
[19:24] Residents
    Undies for an hour a day!
[19:26] Residents
    Undies for an hour a day!
[19:28] Residents
    Undies for an hour a day!
[19:35] Vivaldi
    We've taken a major step.
[19:37] Vivaldi
    The goddess has permitted underwear.
[19:40] Vivaldi
    This is the dawn of Odaiban civilization!
[19:45] Martes
    Um, I totally don't get it.
[19:48] Martes
    Oh, Ulula. You're alive?
[19:50] Ulula
    Woof.
[19:58] Vivaldi
    Everyone! It seems I no
    longer need to run away!
[20:02] Feles
    What?
[20:03] Martes
    Are you sure?
[20:04] Vivaldi
    I am! I'll watch over this town,
    and a future with and without undies!
[20:09] Feles
    What?! Then what was all that for?
[20:14] Feles
    Equa! She says she's given up on escaping.
[20:19] Feles
    Equa?
[22:03] Feles
    What's wrong?
[22:05] Equa
    A moderator changing the direction of a
    cluster is unprecedented, as far as I know.
[22:11] Feles
    You mean underwear becoming okay?
[22:14] Equa
    Yes. That shouldn't be possible.
[22:19] Martes
    What are you two whispering about again?!
[22:21] Equa
    Martes-san!
[22:23] Feles
    We're really not.
[22:25] Equa
    I was wondering if even deities can change.
[22:27] Martes
    Senpai, stay just the way you are!
[22:31] Martes
    Equa-senpai!
[22:37] Equa
    Thank you so much, Martes-san!
[22:40] Feles
    Do you ever stop?
[22:42] Martes
    Feles-senpai...
[22:43] Feles
    What?
[22:43] Martes
    Are you going commando on the way home?
[22:45] Feles
    Oh! Equa, give me back my panties!
[22:48] Equa
    Of course. I've been taking excellent care of them.