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3 - Buck Naked Mansion and the Fallen Master

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Izumi-chan!
[00:07] ---
    Ready, set...
[00:08] ---
    Izumi-chan!
[00:10] ---
    Come to school!
[00:12] ---
    All of us are waiting!
[00:14] ---
    Wh-What the hell?
[01:47] ---
    Izumi-chan!
[01:51] ---
    Hey, stop that! Megumi!
[01:53] ---
    Hey, Brother!
[01:55] ---
    What are you doing?
[01:56] ---
    What? I said before
    that I'll come back with a new plan!
[02:01] ---
    And this is it?
[02:03] ---
    Yes. This should really touch
    Izumi-chan's heart, and come to school—
[02:06] ---
    She won't! More like she'll wrap herself
    in a futon and sleep!
[02:09] ---
    Get these guys out of here right now!
[02:16] ---
    Well, I'd like all of you to go home.
[02:19] ---
    Alright everyone, time to disperse!
[02:21] ---
    Yay!
[02:23] ---
    Hey! Hey!
[02:25] ---
    See ya!
[02:27] ---
    Bye-bye, Brother!
[02:29] ---
    Yes, yes. Yay, yay.
[02:31] ---
    Wait, you go home, too!
[02:32] ---
    Before that, here you go.
[02:36] ---
    A neighborhood circular?
[02:37] ---
    It was placed on top of the gate.
    Why won't they deliver it directly to you?
[02:42] ---
    Oh, that's because there's a rumor
    that this area is cursed.
[02:48] ---
    A curse?
[02:50] ---
    Misfortune has been continuing
    for the past few years.
[02:53] ---
    Our family for one, but our neighbor as well.
[02:57] ---
    There once was a prolific author living there,
    but passed away from illness.
[03:01] ---
    It's been empty since.
[03:03] ---
    They say you can hear the piano playing nightly,
    and see a ghost in a white dress.
[03:07] ---
    The community around here
    calls it the haunted mansion.
[03:11] ---
    A ghost in a white dress...
[03:14] ---
    You mean that thing?
[03:18] ---
    There's nothing there.
[03:19] ---
    It hid behind the curtains just now.
[03:22] ---
    Stop saying stuff like that.
[03:24] ---
    No, no! I'm not a woman who tells lies!
[03:29] ---
    Not that often.
[03:30] ---
    It must have been your imagination. See ya!
[03:36] ---
    It'd be nice if it were.
[03:39] ---
    Really.
[03:43] ---
    Hey, Sagiri, are you all right?
[03:48] ---
    I hope what happened earlier
    didn't traumatize her.

[03:52] ---
    I'll make you some hot cocoa—
[04:02] ---
    What's wrong?
[04:10] ---
    Wh-Wh-Wh-What's wrong?
[04:13] ---
    Did you get a crush on your big brother?
[04:16] ---
    Gh-Ghost... piano...
[04:20] ---
    Piano?
[04:21] ---
    I was sulking in bed with my futon over me,
    when from the neighbor's house...
[04:25] ---
    B-But, the neighbor's house is empty.
[04:30] ---
    I-I hear it. The sounds of a piano.
[04:33] ---
    Go take a look, Big Brother!
[04:35] ---
    N-No, no, no. This has to be a joke!
[04:37] ---
    If I don't know what that is,
    I'll be too scared to draw anything.
[04:42] ---
    Okay! Leave it to your big brother!
[04:56] ---
    Um, Neighbor?
[04:58] ---
    I brought the neighborhood circular.
[05:11] ---
    Elf Yamada?
[05:18] ---
    Who's that! I don't have your manuscripts!
[05:20] ---
    Yamada-san.
[05:21] ---
    I'd like to ask a question.
    Why were you playing the piano naked?

[05:27] ---
    Where's my drawers? One knee-high sock,
    two knee-high socks, one two, two shoes...
[05:31] ---
    Wait, why am I wearing shoes
    inside the house?
[05:35] ---
    You peeping tom!
[05:38] ---
    Wait! Masamune Izumi?
[05:40] ---
    Hey there.
[05:42] ---
    What is this? What's going on?
[05:44] ---
    That's my line. Why are you naked
    in a place like this?
[05:48] ---
    Th-That... That's...
[05:51] ---
    ...my hobby!
[05:52] ---
    Huh?
[05:53] ---
    When you play a piano buck naked after a bath,
    wonderful stories come to mind, don't they?
[05:59] ---
    No way!
[06:00] ---
    By the way, why are you playing
    peeping tom in a place like this?
[06:04] ---
    I came to deliver the neighborhood circular.
    My house is next door.
[06:07] ---
    Huh? Such a coincidence?
[06:10] ---
    IZUMI
[06:11] ---
    Stare...
[06:14] ---
    E-Even if there was, you're the worst
    to stare at a beautiful girl's naked body!
[06:18] ---
    That's a misunderstanding!
[06:19] ---
    I thought there was a ghost here,
    and checked it out because I had to!
[06:23] ---
    A ghost?
[06:24] ---
    There were all sorts of rumors.
[06:26] ---
    By the way, why are you here?
[06:30] ---
    I moved here so I could participate
    in the screenplay meetings for my anime.
[06:33] ---
    Most anime production companies
    are in Tokyo, right?
[06:37] ---
    Sounds like a tough time.
[06:39] ---
    Of course! But I can't help it,
    I'm an author whose work turned into anime!
[06:43] ---
    Because my work turned into anime!
[06:46] ---
    This kid... Every time she opens her mouth,
    it's anime, anime, anime...
[06:50] ---
    By the way, this house
    was a cash purchase, paid in full!
[06:53] ---
    Paid in full!?
[06:55] ---
    Yes. A cash purchase in full thanks to anime!
[06:58] ---
    Isn't it something to buy a single-family home
    in the metropolitan area at age 14?
[07:04] ---
    By the way, Masamune Izumi.
[07:06] ---
    If you insist, I can give you the honor of
    stepping foot into my home, the Crystal Palace.
[07:14] ---
    To be honest...
[07:16] ---
    I am interested.
[07:20] ---
    You should feel honored!
[07:21] ---
    You are the very first guest to enter my castle!
[07:26] ---
    Pardon me!
[07:29] ---
    Is it all right? I heard rumors
    that there are ghosts in this house.
[07:34] ---
    There's no such thing.
[07:36] ---
    If there really were,
    I'll write about them in my novels!
[07:41] ---
    Do you work down here?
[07:43] ---
    I normally write in my studio upstairs.
[07:46] ---
    Though, I sometimes write down here, too.
[07:51] ---
    Wh-What are you imagining
    while looking at that piano!?
[07:54] ---
    Nothing! I've already forgotten about it!
[07:56] ---
    Hmph! We'll see about that.
    You can't forget it so easily!
[08:00] ---
    It was my sacred full nudity!
[08:02] ---
    Ever since I first met you, you've been
    nothing but naked this, nudity that!
[08:06] ---
    Are you in a "full nudity" religion
    and worship the Naked God?
[08:09] ---
    For an unknown author,
    that is a metaphor pretty much on the dot.
[08:12] ---
    That's right! Full nudity is the most
    natural clothing God has given humanity!
[08:15] ---
    Full nudity is the most supreme!
[08:18] ---
    So that's why all the heroines in your books
    completely strip down one after another.
[08:22] ---
    Yes, isn't it wonderful? The readers love it, too!
[08:26] ---
    You really don't understand
    the romantic comedy genre.
[08:29] ---
    Being naked is, in a way,
    attire that your heart races to the least!
[08:32] ---
    You're the one who doesn't get it.
[08:34] ---
    That's exactly where my literary skills and
    the illustrator's art skills showcase themselves.
[08:39] ---
    Men are powerless before the power of erotica!
[08:42] ---
    That's not true!
[08:43] ---
    It is totally true.
[08:45] ---
    My servants totally get it!
[08:48] ---
    It's totally not true.
[08:49] ---
    I still totally think it's crap
    that you stripped your heroine naked
[08:52] ---
    when she first appeared in your debut piece.
[08:56] ---
    That's the law of the forest where if someone
    of the opposite gender sees you naked,
[08:59] ---
    you have to give your virginity to that person.
    It's such an erotic, moe, and marvelous scene!
[09:03] ---
    And that's why you don't get it!
[09:05] ---
    Who do you think you are?
[09:06] ---
    My books have sold
    a hundredfold compared to yours!
[09:09] ---
    A hundredfold is an exaggeration!
[09:12] ---
    You're not more authoritative if you sell more.
[09:14] ---
    Of course you'd be more authoritative!
[09:16] ---
    Sales figures are combat powers for authors.
[09:19] ---
    Bow before me, an Oricon #1 author!
[09:24] ---
    WEEKLY LIGHT NOVEL RANKING CHART
[09:24] ---
    You're #14 this week.
[09:27] ---
    I-I was #1 last week!
[09:30] ---
    Besides, "Dark Elf of Bursting Flame"
    has sold over 2 million copies!
[09:34] ---
    That's over tenfold my own sales...
[09:36] ---
    But even then, I won't lose to you.
[09:39] ---
    I won't yield Eromanga-sensei to you!
[09:44] ---
    An unknown author with less than
    a tenth of combat powers
[09:47] ---
    compared to myself wishes to challenge me?
[09:49] ---
    Yeah.
[09:50] ---
    So? How do you want to challenge me?
[09:52] ---
    Whether or not it's interesting.
[09:55] ---
    A challenge of who writes
    the more interesting novel.
[09:58] ---
    The judge will be Eromanga-sensei.
[10:00] ---
    The winner will get illustrations drawn
    for a new title.
[10:02] ---
    How's that?
[10:03] ---
    That's fine.
[10:04] ---
    I'll write a novel more interesting than yours,
    and make Eromanga-sensei change heart.
[10:09] ---
    And I will have the ultimate
    insert art drawn for me!
[10:12] ---
    And I'll blow you away
    with a super-interesting new piece!
[10:17] ---
    I won't give my partner away to you!
[10:22] ---
    You're late!
[10:23] ---
    Why didn't you! Come home! Immediately!
[10:27] ---
    Were you scared all by yourself?
[10:29] ---
    No, that's not it!
[10:32] ---
    So there wasn't a problem?
[10:34] ---
    Yeah, it's fine. It wasn't a ghost.
[10:38] ---
    I see.
[10:39] ---
    The sound of a piano was...
[10:41] ---
    it was just the neighbor playing.
[10:44] ---
    Neighbor?
[10:47] ---
    What!?
[10:52] ---
    It's fine, leave it to me.
[10:55] ---
    What are you doing!?
[10:58] ---
    It's me!
[10:59] ---
    You made my little sister cry.
[11:02] ---
    I-I'm not crying!
[11:03] ---
    Why did you suddenly go home?
    Don't you think it's rude?
[11:08] ---
    What about you?
[11:09] ---
    Playing a piano in a haunted mansion.
    You're the one who's rude!
[11:12] ---
    That's totally not true.
[11:14] ---
    Because you saw me naked,
    I'm the one who is totally more troubled.
[11:18] ---
    Then I'll strip down, too! Take that!
[11:21] ---
    Why would you show me such a thing?
[11:23] ---
    I now have no choice.
[11:45] ---
    Who is that girl?
[11:48] ---
    O-Our neighbor, Yamada-san, yes!
[11:51] ---
    You get along with her?
[11:53] ---
    No, no. If anything, she's someone detestable.
[11:55] ---
    Why do you lie like that?
[11:57] ---
    It didn't look like that at all.
[12:00] ---
    It's not a lie.
[12:01] ---
    - Someone like that—
    - You saw her naked?
[12:04] ---
    Did you?
[12:06] ---
    J-Just a little.
[12:09] ---
    So you saw her...
[12:11] ---
    Put your pants on.
[12:12] ---
    And get out.
[12:19] ---
    Pervert.
[12:23] ---
    I'm in a crisis.
[12:33] ---
    So you decided to have a showdown
[12:35] ---
    against Elf Yamada-sensei
    with Eromanga-sensei at stake.
[12:38] ---
    And, your motivation keeps going nowhere,
    so your stories are being turned down.
[12:41] ---
    To summarize, yeah.
[12:44] ---
    Men fighting one another with another man
    at stake sounds like a boys-love novel.
[12:48] ---
    Don't make fun of me.
[12:50] ---
    Sorry, sorry.
[12:51] ---
    By the way, how will you get Eromanga-sensei
    to read those manuscripts for the showdown?
[12:59] ---
    Well, I just need to have
    Sagiri directly read them.

[13:07] ---
    Elf?
[13:10] ---
    You're finally home!
[13:14] ---
    I'd like a moment with you!
[13:16] ---
    Welcome, visitor from afar.
    This is my company's studio.
[13:21] ---
    It's full of boxes.
[13:23] ---
    I just moved in, after all.
    The contents are goods and sample books.
[13:26] ---
    If you'd like, take whatever you like.
[13:28] ---
    Seriously?
[13:29] ---
    Can I have your new book, autographed?
[13:31] ---
    Oh? You're one of my fans?
    You should tell me stuff like that!
[13:36] ---
    Here you go!
[13:38] ---
    Thank you. Your autograph looks nice.
[13:42] ---
    I think I'm pretty much in awe.
[13:44] ---
    The view from the veranda is wonderful, too.
[13:48] ---
    It's not that different from our place.
    We're neighbors, after all.
[13:57] ---
    So that's what she's like
    when she's alone in her room?

[14:02] ---
    I've never seen her
    look so merry like that before.

[14:05] ---
    Well? How's the view from Crystal Palace?
    Isn't it wonderful?
[14:09] ---
    Yeah.
[14:10] ---
    So, what's up?
[14:14] ---
    I thought I'd disclose
    the true identity of Eromanga-sensei.
[14:17] ---
    Wh-What's this, all of a sudden?
[14:19] ---
    I'm not getting any replies, so we can't have
    our showdown if we can't get in contact, right?
[14:24] ---
    She probably can't think the Eromanga-sensei
    she's looking for is right in front of her eyes.

[14:30] ---
    How are you going to research
    Eromanga-sensei's true identity?
[14:34] ---
    The internet.
[14:35] ---
    I've already finished
    carefully examining the blog.
[14:38] ---
    From my analysis...
[14:39] ---
    they talk about their favorite anime and manga,
    doesn't go to events,
[14:42] ---
    doesn't talk about IRL friend at all,
    seems to have one family member,
[14:45] ---
    but doesn't live with parents?
    What does this mean?
[14:48] ---
    Either a shut-in, or someone
    who hardly steps out of the house.
[14:50] ---
    The address should be around here.
    At least the same ward as us.
[14:53] ---
    You've gotten really far along in pinpointing!
[14:55] ---
    Oh, Eromanga-sensei is currently streaming!
[14:58] ---
    Frilly, frilly panties, so sexy!
[15:02] ---
    Currently streaming?
[15:05] ---
    Hey, what have you been staring at?
[15:07] ---
    W-Well, nothing.
[15:10] ---
    That cute girl's pure white panties.
[15:11] ---
    Oh, that's your...
[15:14] ---
    That girl...
[15:15] ---
    U-Uh, hey...
[15:21] ---
    No, no, no, no, no!
[15:26] ---
    What's she doing?
[15:28] ---
    Your little sister is funny!
[15:31] ---
    Your little sister draws?
[15:33] ---
    Yeah.
[15:34] ---
    Is she like that all the time?
[15:36] ---
    It's the first time I've seen it.
[15:37] ---
    She seems to be having fun.
    She likes to draw, huh?
[15:40] ---
    Yeah.
[15:41] ---
    That's great. I kind of understand.
[15:46] ---
    You've got to be like that.
[15:48] ---
    It means you'll make wonderful art.
[15:51] ---
    I'd love to work with her,
    if Eromanga-sensei wasn't around.
[15:55] ---
    I see.
[15:57] ---
    That's her right there, though.
[16:00] ---
    Yamada-sensei.
[16:01] ---
    What's with that creepy way to address me?
[16:03] ---
    "Elf" is fine.
[16:05] ---
    Then, Elf.
[16:06] ---
    What?
[16:07] ---
    Thank you.
[16:09] ---
    For what?
[16:11] ---
    What you just said made me happy.
[16:14] ---
    You may be a better person than I thought.
[16:17] ---
    Is that so.
[16:20] ---
    About the thing with Eromanga-sensei...
[16:22] ---
    I'll try asking so that somehow
    your manuscript will be read as well.
[16:25] ---
    Is that all right?
[16:27] ---
    I'll take Eromanga-sensei away from you.
[16:30] ---
    We won't know until we try.
[16:32] ---
    And I won't let you.
[16:34] ---
    I said this was a challenge, right?
[16:37] ---
    Oh, fine.
[16:40] ---
    So, why did you become one of my fans?
[16:44] ---
    Why so suddenly? Do I have to tell you?
[16:46] ---
    You have to! Please tell me.
[16:51] ---
    The first time I read your book...
[16:54] ---
    It was a really laughable scene
    that wasn't sad at all, but it made me cry.
[17:00] ---
    Back then, something really rough
    happened in my life.
[17:03] ---
    I didn't know what I should do,
    and I was depressed every day.
[17:07] ---
    Right afterwards, I had something else horrible
    happen to me, and it crushed me.
[17:11] ---
    Dark Elf of Bursting Flame
[17:11] ---
    But...
[17:13] ---
    When I read your silly story, and laughed,
    and cried, I felt slightly more at ease.
[17:23] ---
    And that's how I became a fan.
[17:27] ---
    I-I see.
[17:31] ---
    Wait, silly? You're not complimenting me!
[17:34] ---
    It's a compliment!
[17:36] ---
    Your story doesn't advance at all, but man,
    how do you write such interesting prose?
[17:40] ---
    You're surely making fun of me!
[17:43] ---
    You may not believe me...
[17:46] ---
    But back then, I felt novels can save lives.
[17:52] ---
    Thank you.
[17:56] ---
    Well, I am a genius!
[17:59] ---
    I personally think I make 100,000 people cry
    with each book I publish.
[18:04] ---
    But maybe even you have saved
    at least one person on one occasion?
[18:10] ---
    I hope that's true.
[18:12] ---
    Just then,
[18:14] ---
    I remembered that person who I didn't even
    know the face of, yet gave me impressions

[18:17] ---
    Next up, let's do something
    a bit more provocative!

[18:20] ---
    about my first novel.
[18:20] ---
    - wanna see more
    - old man's too good

[18:23] ---
    Come on now!
[18:26] ---
    Enough already. Get to work!
[18:27] ---
    Eh? I don't feel like it.
[18:30] ---
    You've been saying that for two weeks now.
    Are you going to submit a manuscript in time?
[18:34] ---
    Who knows?
[18:35] ---
    What about your challenge with me?
[18:37] ---
    You have deadlines for your series'
    new volume, right?
[18:39] ---
    It's fine, it's okay.
    I can drag it out a bit more.
[18:43] ---
    Besides, does a genius like me
    really need deadlines?
[18:47] ---
    No! Of course not!
[18:49] ---
    My heart, only when free, can spread
    the wings of creation and flutter!
[18:54] ---
    This is weird. The other day,
    I thought she was a cool person.
[18:58] ---
    Anyway, Masamune,
    let's do some cooperative play.
[19:01] ---
    Hey, Yamada-sensei. Weren't you going
    to create the ultimate light-novel?
[19:05] ---
    I will create it, of course.
[19:07] ---
    But for that, I am replenishing
    my magical energy.
[19:11] ---
    To create a masterpiece,
    I am building up my spirits.
[19:14] ---
    No good. This person is trash.
[19:15] ---
    What? And you call yourself
    one of my servants?
[19:18] ---
    I may be a fan, but I'm not a servant!
[19:21] ---
    Hmph, why don't you meddle
    with your little sister and not me?
[19:24] ---
    No, she's fine.
    She's cute, and showing effort.
[19:28] ---
    You're no good.
    You're not cute, nor showing effort.
[19:31] ---
    Huh!?
[19:32] ---
    A-All that girl does is just draw pictures!
[19:35] ---
    No matter how you look at it,
[19:37] ---
    I'm showing a lot more effort as someone
    who is peerless in the professional world!
[19:41] ---
    I can't say that she's actually
    a popular illustrator.

[19:44] ---
    In any case, hurry up and get to work!
[19:47] ---
    As. I. Said.
[19:49] ---
    I just don't feel motivated to do that.
[19:51] ---
    It doesn't matter if you're motivated or not.
[19:52] ---
    Work is something you do every day
    without rest.
[19:56] ---
    Y-You're not always...
[19:58] ---
    w-working like that, are you?
[20:02] ---
    Of course. I get turned down a lot,
    so if I can't write every day...
[20:05] ---
    - Don't write when you're not motivated!
    - ...I can't keep going.
[20:14] ---
    Ow...
[20:15] ---
    Fool!
[20:16] ---
    Just how foolish can you get?
[20:19] ---
    I understand now.
[20:21] ---
    Your novels are boring
    because you're writing like that!
[20:26] ---
    Prose can't be interesting when it's written
    while you're not motivated!
[20:30] ---
    Isn't it our job to write something interesting
    even when we're not motiva—
[20:33] ---
    It isn't, you nitwit!
[20:36] ---
    Compared to prose written
    in interesting ways and not motivated,
[20:39] ---
    and prose written when you're on max-fire
    motivation is definitely more interesting!
[20:43] ---
    That makes sense, but...
[20:45] ---
    Then, if you're not on max-fire motivation,
    don't write manuscripts even if it kills you!
[20:51] ---
    You've been working all this time
    with that kind of approach?
[20:54] ---
    Huh? But I've never worked at all.
[20:57] ---
    But you're Miss Popular Author, right?
[20:59] ---
    Of course I am.
[21:01] ---
    But novels are a hobby.
[21:03] ---
    Being a professional author is my hobby.
[21:05] ---
    What?
[21:07] ---
    To make it easier to understand, it's a game.
[21:09] ---
    A game I got hooked on the most in my life,
    more exciting than anything else in this world.
[21:14] ---
    S-She's...
[21:19] ---
    What? You're going home?
[21:20] ---
    That's right.
[21:22] ---
    I came here thinking your work may give me
    food for thought, but it was a waste of time.
[21:26] ---
    Hold on there!
[21:28] ---
    Do you really want to see me
    "working" that much?
[21:32] ---
    Yeah.
[21:33] ---
    Then...
[21:35] ---
    I'll work tomorrow.
    If you'd like, come visit.
[21:44] ---
    Thou shalt prove thyself.
[21:46] ---
    Be silent. Let there be light.
[21:50] ---
    Come in. The sanctuary hath opened.
[21:57] ---
    Welcome back, Masamune!
[23:30] ---
    Next Episode:
    Eromanga Sensei