E5 - The Monster

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Customer 1
    What the...
[00:03] Customer 2
    Who the hell is that?
[00:09] Clarissa
    Wait.
[00:11] Clarissa
    If he were here to kill,
    someone would already be dead.
[00:15] Koruto
    So, we'll be okay?
[00:18] Clarissa
    I guess we'll see.
[00:21] Arase
    Trying to guess what Lemmings
    is thinking is a waste of time.
[00:25] Arase
    Iwa-san.
[00:30] Arase
    Either way, he's on the
    nationwide wanted list.
[00:34] Arase
    Let's beat him down and put him in custody.
[00:36] Iwanome
    Don't forget, we technically have witnesses.
[00:40] Misaki
    Polka-kun, Polka-kun.
[00:42] Misaki
    I think that guy's probably
    a lot scarier than the cops.
[00:46] Polka
    Yes.
[00:47] Polka
    I can tell.
[00:51] Polka
    Are those the ghosts of people he's killed?
[00:54] Polka
    They're torn between... hatred and fear?
[01:04] Trio C
    Wha—?!
[01:10] Arase
    You've got strong arms.
[01:12] Arase
    Have you been working out your core, too?
[01:21] Iwanome
    I did remind you we've got witnesses, yeah?
[01:35] Arase
    Take me seriously, damn it.
[01:38] Polka
    Huh?
[01:45] Misaki
    Who, me?
[01:49] Misaki
    Huh? Is this some new kind of pickup routine?
[01:52] Polka
    Misaki-chan!
[01:53] Corpse God
    I mustn't.
[01:54] Corpse God
    If those officials see my magic,
    peace will slip through my fingers.
[01:59] Corpse God
    Perhaps permanently.
[02:08] Corpse God
    And regardless,
[02:09] Corpse God
    I'll never have peace if
    I oppose that monster.
[02:16] Iwanome
    Arase!
[02:17] Corpse God
    He's similar to Shagrua,
    although differently inclined.
[02:22] Corpse God
    Though human, he's pushed beyond human limits.
[02:26] Corpse God
    Thus, I'm left with only one choice:
[02:29] Polka
    Forsake the girl and flee.
[02:38] Misaki
    Polka-kun!
[02:40] Polka
    Maybe I messed up my reincarnation.
[02:43] Polka
    Teacher, it seems I've become quite a fool.
[04:23] Iwanome
    What the hell is that?!
[04:26] Iwanome
    Huh?!
[04:32] Misaki
    Polka-kun?
[04:33] Misaki
    I can't see, but that is you, isn't it?
[04:35] Polka
    Quiet! Let's get out while we can.
[04:41] Iwanome
    What? What was that noise?!
[04:51] Polka
    He can see in pitch darkness?!
[05:22] Polka
    Misaki-chan!
[05:25] Misaki
    Huh?
[05:28] Misaki
    Well, umm, see...
[05:31] Misaki
    I can't tell you that!
[05:33] Misaki
    I'd get chewed out if I did!
[05:35] Misaki
    So, end of discussion! Better luck next time!
[05:42] Misaki
    Hey, hold up!
[05:44] Misaki
    He's got nothing to do with this—
    or any bad stuff.
[05:49] Misaki
    Well? I told you.
[05:51] Misaki
    Satisfied now?
[05:53] Misaki
    I'll even throw in a freebie!
[05:56] Polka
    Her paralytic saliva?!
[06:02] Misaki
    I can't bite through these bandages.
[06:05] Misaki
    Psych!
[06:15] Misaki
    Lucky you. That was basically a kiss.
[06:20] Polka
    Of course, a fork won't carry enough
    saliva to fully immobilize him.
[06:27] Polka
    But thank you.
[06:45] Polka
    You bought me time to
    work out a spell in peace.
[07:01] Iwanome
    What the hell?
[07:03] Iwanome
    We might as well not have been here,
     for all the good we did.
[07:06] Arase
    Let's come in full gear next time.
[07:08] Clarissa
    Oh, my. That's awfully extreme.
[07:14] Iwanome
    Sorry, but after what I just saw,
    I haven't got the balls to come back unarmed.
[07:23] Clarissa
    This is a non-smoking area.
[07:25] Iwanome
    Huh?
[07:30] Takeru
    So, you're back,
[07:32] Takeru
    Lemmings.
[07:34] Takeru
    You were gone a long time.
    I expect quicker work from you.
[07:42] Takeru
    What?
[07:43] Takeru
    I see. So Jinba was already killed.
[07:47] Takeru
    Well, it never mattered
    to me who disposed of him.
[07:52] Takeru
    I continue to have high hopes for you, Nezu.
[07:58] Takeru
    Is there something else?
[08:04] Takumi
    For real?!
[08:06] Takumi
    That guy's like an urban
    legend here in Shinjuku.
[08:09] Takumi
    He slips in unnoticed and
    does his job without a fuss.
[08:13] Takumi
    Because he can pop up anywhere,
    they name him after a horde of rodents—
[08:16] Takumi
    "Lemmings."
[08:19] Takumi
    Man, I can't believe you
    made it out in one piece.
[08:21] Misaki
    Yeah, we made a real killing!
[08:24] Takumi
    Still, you must've used a lot
    of magic power on that, Polka.
[08:29] Polka
    Yes.
[08:31] Polka
    But the ghosts haunting that bandaged
    man more than made up for it.
[08:46] Polka
    Thank you.
[08:47] Misaki
    Huh? What for?
[08:49] Polka
    You protected me.
[08:52] Polka
    You told him a secret, didn't you?
[08:55] Misaki
    Don't sweat it.
[08:57] Misaki
    You bailed me out, too,
[08:59] Misaki
    so we're even!
[09:03] (Flashback) Teacher
    It doesn't matter if you've known
    someone one second or five years.
[09:06] (Flashback) Teacher
    If you want to help them, go ahead and do it.
[09:10] (Flashback) Teacher
    Boy, I suspect you'll live a long time.
[09:15] (Flashback) Teacher
    So long that the distinction between
    a second and a century blurs.
[09:19] (Flashback) Teacher
    So don't bother worrying
    about how long a thing lasts.
[09:23] (Flashback) Teacher
    As you live on and on,
    the force of habit and experience
[09:28] (Flashback) Teacher
    will take control when it matters most.
[09:34] Polka
    With this frail body, I can't protect anyone.
[09:38] Polka
    Not even myself.
[09:41] Polka
    Misaki-chan.
[09:43] Polka
    Takumi-kun.
[09:45] Polka
    And...
[09:46] Polka
    the real Polka-kun.
[09:48] Polka
    I don't know the first thing about this world,
     so I want you to teach me.
[09:54] Polka
    About yourselves, as well.
[09:56] Takumi
    What're you acting all formal for?
[09:58] Polka
    I see clearly now.
[10:01] Polka
    I don't want any peace
[10:03] Polka
    that requires sacrificing someone who
    laughed with me, no matter how briefly.
[10:18] Takeru
    I can't believe you're still alive.
[10:21] Takeru
    You had me completely fooled,
[10:23] Takeru
    Polka.
[10:25] Takeru
    Playtime is over.
[10:31] Polka
    And so,
[10:32] Polka
    I've decided to start a business.
[10:35] Takumi
    What for?
[10:36] Polka
    What happened yesterday
    drove it home for me.
[10:38] Polka
    To live here peacefully, with limited mana,
    I really do need money.
[10:45] Takumi
    Talk about materialistic.
[10:47] Misaki
    Are you gonna make more big skeletons?!
[10:50] Takumi
    They'll call in the riot squad.
[10:52] Polka
    Necromancy is useful in combat,
    but that isn't all it's good for.
[10:58] Polka
    For instance, if I make pacts with
    ghosts who still have a sense of self,
[11:01] Polka
    I can let them possess and move objects.
[11:04] Misaki
    Hey, that's my mechanical pencil.
[11:06] Polka
    You dropped it, so I borrowed it.
[11:08] Misaki
    No problem!
[11:09] Polka
    I found a sane ghost in the basement,
    so I made a pact and let it possess this.
[11:16] Takumi
    Whoa!
SIGN    I say. I'm honored to meet acquaintances of Clarissa, the famed intermediary.
[11:22] Takumi
    It's way more eloquent than I expected!
SIGN    My name is Hosorogi,
    and I passed away here five years ago.
    Heh heh heh..
    I bet you could dupe a land swindler
     and legally flip this building...
[11:28] Misaki
    Wow!
[11:29] Takumi
    But it's saying some shady-ass things!
[11:31] Polka
    Since only I can use magic,
    if I start a business with magic,
[11:35] Polka
    I may be able to corner the market.
[11:38] Polka
    In fact, I've already drawn up a sign.
[11:41] [SONG] Text; sign; center
    THE
    SHOP
SIGN    We do things
SIGN    Magic? No problem
SIGN    Yay!!
[11:43] Polka
    What do you think?
[11:43] [SONG] Text
    THE SHOP
SIGN    We
    do
    things
SIGN    Magic?
     No problem!
[11:43] [SONG] Text
    Yay!!
[11:44] Misaki
    I helped!
[11:46] Takumi
    You wanna live peacefully, yeah?
[11:51] Takumi
    I know you're really a freaky
    monster who could kill me no sweat,
[11:57] Takumi
    but I'll say this anyway.
[11:59] Takumi
    Are you out of your mind?
[12:01] Polka
    What?
SIGN    If it's money you're after, I have a better idea.
SIGN    Fortunes
[12:11] Polka
    I can see it now.
[12:14] Polka
    Your profession
[12:16] Polka
    is related to medicine, is it not?
[12:19] Saimyouji
    Yeah, it is.
[12:20] Polka
    I sense that the flow of qi
    is blocked in your left leg.
[12:23] Saimyouji
    Y-You're right! I broke it,
    and I'm still in physical therapy.
[12:28] Saimyouji
    It moves on its own?!
SIGN    Don't play so many video games.
[12:31] Saimyouji
    "Don't play so many video games"?
[12:33] Saimyouji
    Is there anything you don't know?!
[12:38] Takumi
    I can't believe you're actually raking it in.
[12:40] Misaki
    Amazing, right?!
[12:42] Misaki
    You'd never guess that sign
    was all done in pencil.
[12:46] Takumi
    You made a hundred grand in a week.
[12:49] Takumi
    But really, fortune telling?
SIGN    The keys to sham fortune telling are
    hot reading and cold reading.
    Hot reading = Passing off the results
    of prior investigation as guesses.
    Cold reading = Guessing a subject's thoughts
     based on what they say and do.
    
     You will need:
     - A crystal ball
     - Exotic costumes
[12:52] Takumi
    "The keys to sham fortune telling
    are hot reading and cold reading"?
[12:58] Takumi
    Honestly, this is a great setup.
[13:00] Takumi
    I look up clients, using the names and
    birth dates we make them write at the desk,
[13:05] Takumi
    and show Polka the data through
    this little eyeball guy.
[13:08] Takumi
    And with Polka doing his thing on top of that...
[13:11] Husband's Ghost
    I died last month of overeating.
[13:14] Polka
    I see you lost someone
    dear to you last month.
[13:18] Lady
    How did you know?!
[13:22] Polka
    The key to open a new door is carved on
    a tombstone at the back of your garden.
[13:28] Lady
    A tombstone?
[13:30] Lady
    You mean the one for our pet,
    Mii-chan, who died last year?
[13:33] Lady
    Could it be... the combination
    to the main safe?
[13:41] Takumi
    ...you get fortune telling with
    a 100% accuracy rate.
[13:45] Takumi
    Still, you writing on your own
    has to look like a total gimmick.
SIGN    That's just what we want.
    Let them start out suspicious
    and then decide it's real magic.
     That will lay the groundwork for
    more potent brainwashing to come.
     Heh heh heh...
[13:56] Takumi
    Brainwashing?
[14:00] Takumi
    You do remember Polka wants peace, right?
[14:05] Polka
    This is the first money I've earned here.
[14:10] Polka
    Now to split it five ways.
[14:12] Takumi
    Why five?
[14:13] Polka
    For me, Misaki-chan, Takumi-kun,
    the real Polka-kun, and Hosorogi-san.
[14:18] Takumi
    You sure are conscientious.
[14:20] Misaki
    Yay!
[14:23] Polka
    What's wrong?
[14:24] Polka
    Just think of it as a token of
    thanks for lending me your body.
[14:29] Takumi
    Is he saying he doesn't want the money?
[14:31] Polka
    Yes. He says he didn't earn it.
[14:34] Takumi
    Well, the real Polka's probably
    seen enough cash for a lifetime.
[14:39] Takumi
    Oh, right. You can't access all his memories.
[14:44] Takumi
    Polka Shinoyama's family is—
[14:47] Takumi
    Hey, what's the big idea?
[14:49] Kazuki
    Oh, dear, are we disturbing you?
[14:53] Kazuki
    Good day, everyone.
[14:56] Shizuki
    There he is! Polka really is here!
[15:02] Kazuki
    It's been half a month,
    hasn't it, Uncle Polka?
[15:05] Polka
    What? Could it be...?!
SIGN    Kazuki
    Shinoyama
[15:11] Polka
    Kazuki and Shizuki Shinoyama, twin siblings.
SIGN    Shizuki
    Shinoyama
SIGN    Kazuki
    Shinoyama
[15:16] Polka
    They're this body's niece and nephew!
[15:18] Polka
    Oh, no! I've got to fool them!
[15:23] Polka
    You must be mistaken. I am the Corpse God,
[15:28] Polka
    a sorcerer strayed into your
    world from far beyond the veil.
[15:32] Shizuki
    Excuse me? Who do you think you're fooling?
[15:34] Shizuki
    And what's with that name?
[15:36] Shizuki
    "Corpse God"? A god for dead bodies?
[15:40] Shizuki
    That's... kinda cool.
[15:42] Takumi
    You think so?
[15:43] Kazuki
    Calm down, Shizuki.
[15:46] Kazuki
    These peasants must have put him up to it.
[15:50] Kazuki
    Why else would Uncle Polka
    have run away from home?
[15:56] Polka
    This is bad.
[15:57] Polka
    If they find out I'm not him inside,
    there goes my peace.
[16:01] Kazuki
    Well, let's set that aside for now.
[16:05] Kazuki
    We're here as customers today.
[16:09] Kazuki
    Won't you show us
[16:13] Kazuki
    your oh-so-impressive fortune telling?
[16:17] Polka
    A foolish question.
[16:18] Polka
    All things have their proper time.
[16:23] Polka
    Call again later.
[16:25] Misaki
    We open at 10 a.m. tomorrow.
[16:28] Takumi
    So, why don't you leave
    for today, little girl?
[16:32] Kazuki
    Oh? How odd.
[16:34] Kazuki
    I don't recall giving
    you permission to speak.
[16:38] Kazuki
    A mere peasant presumes to argue with me?
[16:42] Kazuki
    And what do you propose to do if I refuse?
[16:45] Takumi
    Well, call the cops, for a start.
[16:48] Kazuki
    Huh?
[16:49] Takumi
    What did you expect? You barged
    into a business after closing time.
[16:55] Takumi
    What's a poor, frightened peasant
    like me to do but call the cops?
[17:00] Kazuki
    What nonsense.
[17:02] Kazuki
    Do you have any idea who we are?
[17:04] Takumi
    Classless nouveaux riches who look down
    their noses at people they've just met?
[17:09] Kazuki
    I am—
[17:10] Bodyguard A
    Please be calm, little miss!
[17:12] Bodyguard B
    He's probably recording this conversation!
    Maybe even streaming it.
[17:17] Bodyguard B
    Giving your name might be unwise.
[17:21] Takumi
    What now?
[17:22] Takumi
    Are you gonna sic your men in black
    on me because you lost an argument?
[17:28] Kazuki
    I've had it with your—
[17:29] Polka
    That's enough. Thank you.
[17:32] Polka
    I realize you're making
    yourself a target to spare me,
[17:36] Polka
    but this child is on the verge of tears.
[17:40] Kazuki
    Th-That's ridiculous!
[17:47] Shizuki
    Hey, Polka! What're you—
[17:51] Polka
    You said you wanted your fortunes read.
[17:54] Polka
    Don't worry. You both have a future.
[17:58] Polka
    I'll protect you.
[18:00] Shizuki
    Th-That's rich coming from you, Polka!
[18:04] Polka
    You're mistaken.
[18:06] Polka
    But I am acquainted with Polka.
[18:09] Polka
    And he told me that
[18:12] Polka
    he'll return home tomorrow.
[18:16] Polka
    So you should go home for today, as well.
[18:20] Suzuka
    Help... Help...
[18:22] Polka
    Yes, I understand. You have
    nothing to worry about.
[18:27] Suzuka
    Someone, help these children.
[18:33] Polka
    Yes.
[18:35] Polka
    I'll keep these children safe.
[18:40] Polka
    "Evil spirit" isn't quite
    the right word for her.
[18:44] Polka
    She seems to want to protect the twins,
    but she's gone half-mad.
[18:49] Takumi
    And you trust a ghost like that?
[18:52] Polka
    I can't ignore this.
[18:54] Takumi
    You seem awfully soft on those kids.
[18:56] Polka
    Yes, well...
[19:00] Polka
    They remind me of some other
    children who tried to act tough.
[19:03] Takumi
    Oh, I see.
[19:05] Misaki
    Hey, so,
[19:07] Misaki
    are you really going back to
    Polka-kun's house tomorrow?
[19:10] Polka
    Yes.
[19:11] Misaki
    Where does he live?
[19:13] Polka
    Um, let me think.
[19:15] Takumi
    Here.
[19:16] Polka
    Huh?
[19:17] Takumi
    The Shinoyama Group.
[19:19] Takumi
    Built around Shinoyama Bank,
    it has assets in the trillions.
SIGN    Shinoyama Bank
[19:24] Takumi
    They're not the richest people out there,
    but they're still loaded.
[19:28] Takumi
    And you, Polka,
[19:30] Takumi
    are the second son of their current
    patriarch, Rozan Shinoyama.
[19:37] Takumi
    Your father, Rozan, turned 79 this year.
[19:40] Takumi
    And if something happened to him,
[19:43] Takumi
    Polka could claim a share of his inheritance.
[19:47] Takumi
    No wonder someone wants you dead.
[19:51] Polka
    But my peaceful life...
[19:53] Takumi
    Why's the real one look shocked, too?
[19:56] Takumi
    Like I said before, we don't
    know who put the hit on Polka.
[20:01] Takumi
    But it could have been one of your relatives.
[20:05] Takumi
    Going home is like charging
    into enemy territory.
[20:09] Takumi
    Are you sure about this?
[20:11] Misaki
    Oh, come on. Polka-kun can handle it.
[20:14] Takumi
    Only if he can afford to
    use magic out in the open.
[20:16] Polka
    Oh, I had bodyguards back when I was alive.
[20:20] Polka
    A zombie saber-toothed tiger
    and a skeleton heavy cavalry soldier.
[20:24] Takumi
    This is sounding less peaceful by the word.
SIGN    I'm a silent bodyguard. Please don't pry.
SIGN    I'm a silent bodyguard. Please don't pry.
[20:30] Polka
    How about this?
[20:31] Takumi
    Any rich guy who'd buy that
    would go broke in no time.
[20:35] Polka
    Hmm...
[20:36] Polka
    Then I'll need a bodyguard who looks human.
[20:39] Takumi
    Who looks human...
[20:40] Misaki
    Ooh!
[20:43] Misaki
    Huh? What's up?
[20:46] Shizuki
    What's wrong with Polka?!
[20:48] Shizuki
    Who does that wimp think he is,
    acting all grown up?!
[20:53] Kazuki
    Was that really Uncle Polka, do you think?
[21:03] Kazuki
    Takeru-oniisama.
[21:05] Takeru
    You shouldn't be out playing
    so late, Kazuki, Shizuki.
[21:10] Kazuki
    We're terribly sorry.
[21:11] Shizuki
    S-Sorry.
[21:13] Takeru
    Now, tell me. Did Polka seem well?
[21:17] Shizuki
    Huh? Y-Yeah.
[21:19] Kazuki
    He said to expect him at home tomorrow.
[21:21] Takeru
    I see. That's something to look forward to.
[21:25] Takeru
    Although, that said,
    I'll have to assign him a babysitter.
[21:29] Takeru
    The two of you should take care, as well.
[21:32] Takeru
    There could always be another accident,
    like what happened to Suzuka.
[23:15] Rozan
    I see. So, Polka's alive and kicking.
[23:19] Rozan
    Still, playing magician in Shinjuku?
[23:23] Rozan
    He must have gotten that from you,
[23:26] Rozan
    Kanon.
[23:30] Rozan
    I suppose I can't die just yet.