E1 - Witches Blow a New Pipe

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:14] Ninny
    Fairy tales are such bullshit.
[00:20] Ninny
    It's always some girl getting a spell cast
    on her that turns her into a princess,
[00:23] ninny
    getting to wear a pretty dress,
[00:25] Ninny
    pretending to choose some hot guy
    and being chosen herself...
[00:28] Ninny
    Not to mention, the spell randomly
    breaks in the middle of it all. Lame, right?
[00:30] Paparazzi A
    Here she comes!
[00:31] Papapazzi
    It's Ninny!
[00:33] ---
    Hi, Ninny!
[00:33] Ninny
    Yet, for some reason,
    every girl wants to be a princess.
[00:34] Paparazzi A
    Nice hoodie!
[00:36] Paparazzi A
    Is it true you broke up with TJ?
[00:36] Ninny
    Like, are you serious?
    The spell just breaks randomly.
[00:38] Paparazzi B
    We haven't seen you together for a while.
[00:40] Paparazzi C
    Did you find someone new?
[00:41] Ninny
    It was inevitable because
    you broke your promise?
[00:43] Paparazzi D
    Just give us a little something.
[00:43] Ninny
    Or time ran out, so what can you do?
[00:44] Paparazzi D
    I heard someone left the group.
[00:46] Ninny
    But you can do something.
[00:48] Paparazzi C
    What do you think about losing a member?
[00:49] Ninny
    You're all fools.
[00:50] Paparazzi E
    You didn't get along with Macy, did you?
[00:51] Ninny
    None of you know the real
    reason the spell breaks.
[00:52] Paparazzi E
    Was it always like that?
[00:53] Paparazzi B
    Is that the reason?
[00:56] Ninny
    So irritating.
[00:58] Paparazzi A
    Huh?
[01:04] Paparazzi A
    Hey, wait! Ninny!
[01:05] Paparazzi B
    What the hell was that insane flash?
[01:21] Paparazzi
    She went in there!
[01:25] Paparazzi A
    Huh?
[01:28] Paparazzi B
    She disappeared...
[01:30] Ninny
    If magic only works on fools,
[01:34] Ninny
    I'd rather be the one casting the spell.
[01:44] Noel
    The tip of my finger, the edge of my voice.
[01:47] Noel
    Revenger Joe's Iron Key.
[01:49] Noel
    Five locks, three chains, silence-sheathed.
[01:52] Noel
    A blast from the pipe to blind.
[02:02] Noel
    Please don't use magic!
[02:03] Noel
    Your magic will make your antlers... bloom...
[02:11] Noel
    Blue Spark!
[02:22] Ninny
    Magic Number 44: Flash Bumper!
[02:31] Ninny
    That was a close one.
[02:32] Ninny
    That's a bud buck, y'know.
[02:35] Ninny
    That's an A-rank harvest.
[02:37] Ninny
    What were you gonna do
    if I didn't make it in time?
[02:41] Noel
    I don't want to hear that from someone
    who shows up so appallingly late,
[02:45] Noel
    Ninny.
[02:48] Ninny
    I told you to stop calling me by my
    first name! I have seniority here,
SIGN    Ninny
    Spangcole
SIGN    Ninny
    Spangcole
SIGN    WB
SIGN    WB
SIGN    Ninny
    Spangcole
SIGN    Ninny
    Spangcole
SIGN    WB 2nd Umbrella / Idol
SIGN    WB 2nd Umbrella / Idol
SIGN    Ninny
    Spangcole
SIGN    Ninny
    Spangcole
SIGN    WB 2nd Umbrella / Idol
SIGN    WB 2nd Umbrella / Idol
SIGN    Ninny
    Spangcole
SIGN    Ninny
    Spangcole
SIGN    WB 2nd Umbrella / Idol
SIGN    WB 2nd Umbrella / Idol
SIGN    Ninny
    Spangcole
SIGN    Ninny
    Spangcole
SIGN    WB 2nd Umbrella / Idol
SIGN    WB 2nd Umbrella / Idol
[02:52] Ninny
    Niiha!
[02:55] Sign
    Noel
    Niihashi
[02:55] Sign
    Noel
    Niihashi
[02:55] Sign
    WB 1st Umbrella / Student
[02:55] Sign
    WB 1st Umbrella / Student
[02:55] Sign
    Noel
    Niihashi
[02:55] Sign
    Noel
    Niihashi
[02:55] Sign
    WB 1st Umbrella / Student
[02:55] Sign
    WB 1st Umbrella / Student
[02:55] Sign
    Noel
    Niihashi
[02:55] Sign
    Noel
    Niihashi
[02:55] Sign
    WB 1st Umbrella / Student
[02:55] Sign
    WB 1st Umbrella / Student
[02:55] Sign
    Noel
    Niihashi
[02:55] Sign
    Noel
    Niihashi
[02:55] Sign
    WB 1st Umbrella / Student
[02:55] Sign
    WB 1st Umbrella / Student
[02:55] Noel
    If you start calling me "Noel,"
    I'll consider it, Ninny.
[02:55] Sign
    Noel
    Niihashi
[02:55] Sign
    Noel
    Niihashi
[02:55] Sign
    WB 1st Umbrella / Student
[02:55] Sign
    WB 1st Umbrella / Student
[02:59] Ninny
    Where do you get off casually making
    demands of your seniors like that?
[03:04] Nar
    Dragons: mythical creatures.
[03:09] Nar
    But in truth, they are neither
    mythical nor creatures.
[03:14] Nar
    Since time immemorial,
    72% of all deaths in London
[03:20] Nar
    have been caused by grotesque
    beings known as dragons.
[03:24] Nar
    That is why they are so prominently
    displayed on London's coat of arms.
[03:31] Nar
    Rampaging dragons cause
    great harm to humans.
[03:35] Nar
    In order to prevent that,
    the dragons must be monitored.
[03:40] Nar
    The citizens of Front London
    cannot see the dragons.
[03:46] Nar
    But there's also a Reverse London.
[03:51] Nar
    Only those who live on the reverse
    side of London can see the dragons.
[03:56] Sign
    Reverse London Natural Dragon Management Agency
[03:56] Sign
    Reverse London Natural Dragon Management Agency
[03:56] Sign
    Reverse London Natural Dragon Management Agency
[03:57] Nar
    It inevitably fell to the people of Reverse
    London to take care of and manage the dragons.
[04:03] Sign
    Wing Bind Headquarters Building
[04:03] Sign
    Wing Bind Headquarters Building
[04:03] Sign
    Wing Bind Headquarters Building
[04:06] Ninny
    What the heck?!
[04:07] Ninny
    You guys still haven't fixed this from
    when that big guy wrecked it? Pathetic!
[04:12] Guy
    S-Sorry...
[04:15] Guy
    We were asked to get the monitor up first.
[04:19] Ninny
    And you! Why did you take on
    a two-person job by yourself?
[04:23] Noel
    Because you were late, Ninny.
[04:25] Ninny
    Most people would just wait!
[04:29] Noel
    If I took care of it on my own,
    I'd get the reward all to myself.
[04:33] Ninny
    I knew it!
[04:34] Ninny
    So that's what you're after.
[04:36] Noel
    You make plenty at your job in Front London,
[04:40] Noel
    so just exchange as much as you want.
[04:43] Ninny
    I have some pride, you know!
[04:46] Ninny
    And quit saying stuff like that.
[04:49] Noel
    Huh?
[04:51] Noel
    I lost achievement points.
[04:54] Noel
    But I plucked all the flowers that
    bloomed so they wouldn't find out.
[04:57] Ninny
    Yes! I got points!
[05:00] Noel
    But why?
[05:02] Ninny
    Because of my assist at the end, duh.
[05:06] Ninny
    That's the only reason our
    payload made it out safe.
[05:09] Guy
    So cute.
[05:11] Guy
    Cut it out.
[05:12] Guy
    They'll be pissed if they catch
    you sneaking photos again.
[05:15] Ninny
    Hey, wait a minute!
[05:17] Ninny
    Why are you plucking flowers
    off of bud bucks, anyway?!
[05:20] Noel
    Well, what was I supposed to do?
[05:23] Noel
    They go down in price if their
    flowers bloom before they're sold.
[05:27] Noel
    I did it for our client.
[05:30] Noel
    See? Isn't it pretty?
[05:32] Noel
    You can touch it if you like.
[05:35] Noel
    You can't have it, though.
[05:36] Ninny
    A-As if I'd want it!
[05:38] Osushi
    Let me see your panties!
[05:42] Osushi
    Let me see your panties!
[05:45] Balgo
    Hey! Osushi!
[05:49] Guy
    What's that thing?
[05:50] Guy
    Is it a dark dragon?
[05:52] Guy
    In the middle of the city?
[05:54] Guy
    No...
[05:55] Guy
    It's just Balgo.
[05:56] Guy
    Damn it. Not him again.
[05:57] Sign
    Balgo
    Parks
[05:57] Sign
    Balgo
    Parks
[05:57] Sign
    Human / Dragonclad
[05:57] Sign
    Human / Dragonclad
[05:57] Sign
    Balgo
    Parks
[05:57] Sign
    Balgo
    Parks
[05:57] Sign
    Human / Dragonclad
[05:57] Sign
    Human / Dragonclad
[05:57] Sign
    Balgo
    Parks
[05:57] Sign
    Balgo
    Parks
[05:57] Sign
    Human / Dragonclad
[05:57] Sign
    Human / Dragonclad
[05:57] Sign
    Human / Dragonclad
[05:57] Sign
    Human / Dragonclad
[05:57] Sign
    Balgo
    Parks
[05:57] Sign
    Balgo
    Parks
[05:57] Sign
    Human / Dragonclad
[05:57] Sign
    Human / Dragonclad
[05:59] Balgo
    Osushi! Calm down!
[06:01] Sign
    Osushi
[06:01] Sign
    Osushi
[06:01] Sign
    Dragon Canine
[06:01] Sign
    Dragon Canine
[06:01] Sign
    Osushi
[06:01] Sign
    Osushi
[06:01] Sign
    Dragon Canine
[06:01] Sign
    Dragon Canine
[06:01] Sign
    Osushi
[06:01] Sign
    Osushi
[06:01] Sign
    Osushi
[06:01] Sign
    Osushi
[06:01] Sign
    Dragon Canine
[06:01] Sign
    Dragon Canine
[06:01] Sign
    Osushi
[06:01] Sign
    Osushi
[06:01] Sign
    Dragon Canine
[06:01] Sign
    Dragon Canine
[06:01] Sign
    Osushi
[06:01] Sign
    Osushi
[06:04] Balgo
    You're a cutie! You're absolutely
    adorable, so please, calm down!
[06:11] Ninny
    Hey, it's Balgo and Osushi.
[06:13] Noel
    Indeed it is.
[06:15] Ninny
    So do something about them.
    You're in charge of them, aren't you?
[06:19] Noel
    We're in charge of them.
[06:22] Ninny
    He's your senior at school, isn't he?
[06:25] Noel
    I mean, it's probably fine.
[06:28] Noel
    Look. He's all smiles.
    Why don't we have some tea?
[06:33] Ninny
    I want a caffè latte.
[06:34] Noel
    I'll be glad to push the button,
    but you have to put the money in.
[06:38] Chief
    There's nothing "fine" about this!
[06:41] Chief
    At this rate, Balgo's going to die!
[06:44] Chief
    We've been tasked with keeping an eye
    on him, so I need you two to do your jobs!
[06:50] Ninny
    Getting us to keep tabs on dragonclads
[06:52] Ninny
    is basically HQ's way of making
    this nonsense our problem.
[06:58] Ninny
    It's not like we get paid
    or earn achievement points
[07:02] Ninny
    for keeping him out of trouble 24/7
[07:04] Ninny
    while we're on the job.
[07:07] Chief
    So we're back to that.
[07:09] Chief
    I figured you might say that...
[07:12] Chief
    So I talked to some of the higher-ups
[07:14] Chief
    and got you girls some extra money
    and achievement points for this.
[07:19] Ninny
    Say what?!
[07:22] Ninny
    All right, fine. Let's do this!
[07:26] Ninny
    Let's go, Niiha!
[07:28] Ninny
    You're doing this for the money.
[07:30] Ninny
    I'm doing it for merit.
[07:32] Ninny
    But just so we don't sound completely
    awful, we're doing it for society!
[07:40] Chief
    Could you maybe shout the
    "doing it for society" part first?
[07:51] Guy
    What the...
[07:52] Balgo
    Osushi!
[07:56] Lady
    Well, if you say so, Daddy...
[08:00] Balgo
    You're such a good doggie, Osushi!
[08:04] Random lady
    It sure is noisy over there.
[08:07] Jimmy
    Yeah. Maybe there's a dragon on the loose.
[08:11] Random lady
    Don't even joke about that.
    Make sure it's spick and span up there.
[08:15] Jimmy
    Yes, ma'am.
[08:19] Balgo
    Wait!
[08:24] Jimmy
    Balgo, you idiot!
[08:27] Jimmy
    Don't come over here!
[08:33] Random lady
    Goodness, that chimney
    sweep's really going at it.
[08:37] Balgo
    Sorry! I'm really sorry!
[08:40] Balgo
    Are you hurt?
[08:44] Jimmy
    You moron!
[08:45] Jimmy
    I'm not hurt!
[08:47] Jimmy
    I just don't wanna get arrested for
    violating the dragon contact law!
[08:52] Jimmy
    Wing Bind HQ is right over there!
[09:03] Balgo
    Noel!
[09:05] Balgo
    You saved me!
[09:07] Ninny
    I'm the one who saved you, you dumbass.
[09:10] Noel
    There, there. Please calm down, Osushi.
[09:18] Noel
    Osushi's calm now.
[09:20] Ninny
    What did you do to the poor thing, anyway?
[09:23] Balgo
    Nothing. I was just taking Osushi for a walk.
[09:26] Jimmy
    Uh... Thank you, witches.
[09:30] Jimmy
    So, um... about that chimney...
[09:34] Noel
    Your dragon insurance should cover it.
[09:38] Noel
    More importantly...
[09:39] Noel
    Did you come into contact with the dragon?
[09:42] Jimmy
    N-No! Not at all!
[09:45] Ninny
    Niiha, run the test.
[09:47] Noel
    Right.
[09:50] Noel
    Please lick this.
[09:52] Balgo
    Um... What happens if
    someone touches a dragon?
[09:58] Noel
    For the protection of both
    dragons and humans,
[10:01] Noel
    the Dragon Contact Prohibition
    Law was passed in 1609.
[10:06] Noel
    Violators face 100 years in prison.
[10:08] Noel
    Or...
[10:11] Ninny
    They get executed.
[10:12] Balgo
    What?
[10:16] Noel
    It's within the normal range.
[10:18] ---
    Huh.
[10:21] Balgo
    Thank goodness!
[10:23] Ninny
    This is all your fault!
[10:24] Balgo
    I'm sorry!
[10:26] Ninny
    Who do you think... caused...
    this mess... in the first place... huh?!
[10:27] Ninny
    Who do you think... caused...
    this mess... in the first place... huh?!
[10:28] Balgo
    Ow!
[10:28] Ninny
    Who do you think... caused...
    this mess... in the first place... huh?!
[10:30] Ninny
    Who do you think... caused...
    this mess... in the first place... huh?!
[10:30] Balgo
    Ouch!
[10:31] Ninny
    Who do you think... caused...
    this mess... in the first place... huh?!
[10:32] Ninny
    Also, why don't you put a muzzle
    on Osushi when you go out?!
[10:36] Ninny
    You're the only civilian who can
    touch Osushi and not get locked up,
[10:39] Ninny
    because you're a dragonclad!
[10:41] Ninny
    Do you realize that?!
[10:44] Balgo
    But I did put one on!
[10:45] Balgo
    It just got ripped off when Osushi suddenly
    sprouted wings while we were walking!
[10:51] Noel
    Did Osushi really grow wings
    without anything triggering it?
[10:54] Balgo
    Y-Yes!
[10:56] Noel
    Where did it happen?
[10:58] Balgo
    Huh? Where?
[11:01] Noel
    Please try to remember.
[11:04] Noel
    Osushi's wings usually appear
[11:07] Noel
    when you try to bark like Osushi,
[11:11] Noel
    or when you sneeze,
[11:13] Noel
    or when you start cracking up...
[11:16] Ninny
    So all the time, then.
[11:18] Noel
    Or...
[11:20] Noel
    when you're in danger, Balgo.
[11:31] Noel
    It would appear that, as a dragonclad,
[11:33] Noel
    you aggressively attract
     dragons toward you.
[11:37] Noel
    For now, I need you to take Osushi and get
    somewhere where there aren't many people.
[11:43] Noel
    Ninny, the barrier tape.
[11:45] Ninny
    On it!
[11:50] Ninny
    So what now?
[11:54] Noel
    Magic Number 04: Stun Ball.
[12:07] Ninny
    Wait! What was the point of the barrier tape?!
[12:10] Noel
    Just in case.
[12:12] Noel
    Oh, Chief.
[12:13] Noel
    We've subdued a dragon,
    so if we could get a bonus...
[12:18] Ninny
    Dragon insurance!
[12:22] Noel
    No, that's not our fault.
[12:27] Noel
    Please stop whining. It's quite pathetic.
[12:29] Chief
    So you don't know what kind of dragon it is?
[12:33] Noel
    Correct.
[12:35] Noel
    It's the first time I've seen one like it,
    so I don't know what kind it is.
[12:40] Noel
    It was rather worked up,
    so I stunned it to shut it up.
[12:45] Ninny
    Niiha!
[13:04] Ninny
    It just went lights out.
[13:12] Ninny
    It's coming!
[13:14] Ninny
    We need to get it away from here!
[13:16] Noel
    I know.
[13:28] Ninny
    All right, this should be good—
[13:31] Ninny
    Oh, come on. You're making
     this really difficult to call in.
[13:34] Noel
    Ninny, in front of you!
[13:51] Ninny
    Chief.
[13:52] Ninny
    Rutherford Street. We need
    an emergency dragon blockade.
[13:56] Ninny
    We've got a dark dragon.
[14:10] Guy
    What the...
[14:10] Lady
    What's that sound?
[14:19] Broadcast
    This is a notice from BBC Reverse London.
[14:24] Broadcast
    Due to a dark dragon alert,
[14:27] Broadcast
    Rutherford Street is now
    under a dragon blockade.
[14:31] Broadcast
    Anyone in the vicinity should
    seek shelter immediately.
[14:37] Broadcast
    Wing Bind has the situation under control.
[14:40] Ninny
    You know what always gets me?
[14:42] Ninny
    Doesn't it just piss you off when they say,
    "Wing Bind has the situation under control"?
[14:47] Noel
    No, because it's our job.
[14:50] Ninny
    That's not what I mean!
[14:52] Ninny
    I'd be fine with it if we said it ourselves,
[14:54] Ninny
    but why's the BBC announcing it?
[14:58] Noel
    Chief, the dragon blockade is set up,
    so it's time we switched out with the Sabres—
[15:04] Chief
    Uh, hello? Noel? Hello—
[15:07] Noel
    What do you think you're doing?
[15:10] Ninny
    That's my line. You were really going
    to let the Sabres take all the credit?
[15:18] Ninny
    This is our chance to show
    HR how powerful we are.
[15:23] Noel
    Our duty as Pipers is to take dragons
    to pasture and harvest from them.
[15:27] Noel
    We don't need to be powerful—
[15:27] Ninny
    Like I said before...
[15:32] Ninny
    I want to join the Sabres!
[15:38] Noel
    Well, personally, I don't.
[15:54] Ninny
    I hit it.
[15:56] Ninny
    Whoa...
[15:58] Ninny
    Magic Number 28: Rainy Wheel!
[16:13] Balgo
    Help...
[16:17] Noel
    Balgo.
[16:23] Noel
    Leave this to me.
[16:27] Noel
    Magic Number 75: Gatling Crown!
[16:37] Bruno
    Hey. This is a huge deal.
[16:40] Sign
    Wing Bind Supreme Powers That Be
[16:40] Sign
    Wing Bind Supreme Powers That Be
[16:40] Sign
    Top of Horns
[16:41] Bruno
    How many years has it been?
[16:42] Bruno
    It's been a century!
[16:43] Roy
    Ninety-six years, to be precise.
[16:46] Bruno
    That's basically a century!
[16:49] Bruno
    A whole century since the last time we let
    a dark dragon get into Reverse London!
[16:55] Bruno
    If this isn't a catastrophe, what the hell is?!
[16:58] Bruno
    Could you show up for once?!
[17:01] Bruno
    Stop chewing gum!
[17:03] Bruno
    You guys seriously have nothin' to say?
[17:06] Bruno
    Am I the only one upset here? Huh?!
[17:09] Roy
    I'm pretty sure I spoke.
[17:13] Bruno
    Anyway, my point is, letting this
    Balgo guy run around is the problem.
[17:21] Bruno
    What do you say, Old Man Wolfy?
[17:25] Wolfgang
    He has been the topic of countless
    discussions within our squad
[17:30] Wolfgang
    in the month since he became a dragonclad.
[17:35] Wolfgang
    This situation occurred
    due to our own negligence.
[17:38] Wolfgang
    We cannot simply ignore it.
[17:43] Wolfgang
    We will proceed with the plan to eliminate
    the dragonclad known as Balgo Parks.