E1 - Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:17] Male Student A
    He shoots! He scores! That's 2-1!
[00:22] Male Student B
    I wanna score a goal like that.
[00:24] Male Student A
    Hey, look. A girl from South Braxton High.
[00:28] Male Student A
    Their uniforms are sexy as hell.
[00:30] Male Student B
    In what way? It's all black.
[00:33] Male Student A
    That's what's great about it!
[00:35] Male Student A
    You just don't get it, man.
[00:37] Noel
    I like uniforms.
[00:38] Noel
    When I'm in uniform, I don't need
    to prove who I am to anyone.
[01:07] Balgo
    You fell for it, Noel!
[01:10] Balgo
    That's my precious Osushi!
[01:13] Balgo
    Today's the day I'm gonna see—
[01:19] Balgo
    ...those panties!
[01:24] Noel
    So you were finally able
    to complete your sentence,
[01:27] Noel
    Balgo.
[01:29] Balgo
    Yeah. Your attention to detail is amazing.
[01:33] Balgo
    I love that about you, too—
[01:36] Balgo
    C'mon, seriously! That was dangerous!
    That would've actually hit anyone else!
[01:39] Noel
    No, it wouldn't have. I threw it
    with no intention of hitting you.
[01:48] Balgo
    Don't underestimate me, Noel.
[01:50] Balgo
    If you think you're dealing
    with the same ol' Balgo, you're—
[01:56] Balgo
    ...completely wrong.
[02:03] Noel
    Why don't we find you a more suitable owner?
[02:16] Noel
    Noel Niihashi, reporting for duty.
[02:32] Balgo
    Noel?
[02:38] Rando
    It's Ninny!
[02:40] Rando
    Ninny! Can I get your autograph?
[02:41] Rando
    Me, too!
[02:42] Ninny
    Sure.
[02:44] Ninny
    Here.
[02:45] Rando
    Shake my hand, Ninny!
[02:46] Rando
    Mine, too!
[03:05] Ninny
    Hey, clear the way.
[03:06] Ninny
    Come on. Move it.
[03:10] Ninny
    You're late! A whole crowd
    showed up because of you, Niiha!
[03:14] Noel
    Sorry. The usual gentleman
    in Front London held me up.
[03:19] Noel
    Could it be that you were worried
    and waited here for me, Ninny?
[03:24] Ninny
    Huh?!
[03:24] Ninny
    O-Of course not.
[03:25] Rando
    Ninny!
[03:27] Ninny
    Part of being an idol is—
[03:28] Rando
    Ninny!
[03:28] Rando
    Me next!
[03:31] Rando child
    Can I get a selfie with you?
[03:32] Ninny
    ...giving fanservice to my fans.
[03:34] Ninny
    It's time.
[03:36] Noel
    Hey, Ninny—
[03:37] Rando
    Hey, wasn't I next?
[03:38] Rando
    Can I get a selfie?
[03:39] Rando
    We're taking a shortcut
     'cause you were late.
[03:39] Ninny
    Wait, Ninny!
[03:41] Ninny
    And I keep telling you not
    to call me by my first name.
[03:44] Rando
    Do I need to remind you
    that I have seniority?
[03:47] Noel
    Then will you start
    calling me "Noel," Ninny?
[03:51] Noel
    I prefer my first name.
[03:54] Ninny
    Well, "Niiha" is cuter, so deal with it.
[03:57] Ninny
    Not to mention, "Noel" is a guy's name.
[04:00] Noel
    In Japan, it's a girl's name.
[04:02] Noel
    Didn't you know that?
[04:05] Ninny
    Would you stop acting Japanese?
    You've never even been to Japan.
[04:14] Ninny
    Aw, crap.
[04:17] Ninny
    Hi-yah!
[04:21] Ninny
    Made it.
[04:24] Noel
    Though we forced our way in.
[04:25] Ninny
    It's fine. The important thing is we made it.
[04:28] Conductor
    Uh, if I could see your tickets, please...
[04:30] Ninny
    You should be more grateful
    for your senior's kindness.
[04:38] Noel
    Thank you very much...
[04:40] Noel
    Ninny.
[04:43] Ninny
    Stop calling me that!
[05:51] Sign
    Reverse London Natural Dragon Management Agency
     Wing Bind Headquarters Building
[05:56] Billy
    Thank you for reporting for work.
[06:00] Sign
    WB Pipers Chief
[06:00] Sign
    WB Pipers Chief
[06:00] Sign
    WB Pipers Chief
[06:00] Sign
    Billy Banx Jr.
[06:00] Sign
    Billy Banx Jr.
[06:02] Ninny
    So? Where are we going today?
[06:04] Sign
    WB Pipers 2nd Umbrella
[06:04] Sign
    WB Pipers 2nd Umbrella
[06:04] Sign
    Ninny
[06:04] Sign
    Ninny
[06:04] Sign
    Spangcole
[06:04] Sign
    Spangcole
[06:06] Billy
    Ninebrook Pastures. It's a lot of fun there.
[06:09] Ninny
    The other day, you said a place that
    was crawling with bugs was fun, too.
[06:13] Ninny
    I'm pretty sure your "fun" gauge is busted!
[06:17] Billy
    What are you talking about?
[06:18] Billy
    I'm sure you would've had a blast
    if you were a frog, Ninny.
[06:22] Ninny
    Well, that hypothetical is not the reality!
[06:25] Noel
    Let's get going. No matter how much you
    yell about it, our destination won't change.
[06:30] Sign
    WB Pipers 1st Umbrella
[06:30] Sign
    WB Pipers 1st Umbrella
[06:30] Sign
    Noel
[06:30] Sign
    Noel
[06:30] Sign
    Niihashi
[06:30] Sign
    Niihashi
[06:34] Ninny
    Oh, fine. Let's go get us
     some work experience!
[06:42] Billy
    Have fun!
[06:53] Balgo
    Noel...
[07:05] Balgo
    I wanna see... your panties.
[07:07] Selby
    Wait! What the hell was that flashback for?!
[07:10] Balgo
    Well, you just said
    I imagined Noel disappearing!
[07:13] Selby
    Because you did.
[07:16] Selby
    "She disappeared to Reverse London"?
     C'mon, dude, that's just a fairy tale.
[07:20] Selby
    Most people stop believing in that
     before even Santa Claus.
[07:24] Balgo
    Whatever. Let's just stop talking about it.
[07:28] Balgo
    Now, let's start talking
    about Noel's panties!
[07:31] Selby
    You're even more delusional now.
[07:33] Balgo
    It's not a delusion. It's my dream!
[07:35] Selby
    There's no point in sugarcoating it.
[07:38] Selby
    It's just wishful thinking.
     Wake up already.
[07:42] Balgo
    What was that?
[07:44] Balgo
    Bark at him, Osushi!
[07:47] Selby
    So cuh-yoooot!
[07:49] Selby
    Wait, that's not the point here.
[07:52] Selby
    Think about it, dude. You're failing here
    'cause you keep mentioning her panties.
[07:58] Balgo
    You mean you don't want to see panties?
[08:01] Selby
    That's also not the point.
[08:04] Selby
    I'm telling you to become
    friends with her first.
[08:09] Balgo
    I'm having a hard time because
    I haven't been able to do that.
[08:14] Selby
    Well, I only met her for,
    like, a second last time.
[08:18] Selby
    Let's all go see her next time.
[08:21] Balgo
    You're after her, too, aren't you?
[08:23] Selby
    Huh?
[08:24] Balgo
    You're after her, too!
[08:26] Balgo
    N-o-e-l!
[08:28] Selby
    Of course I'm not! I'm trying to help out
    the buddy I've known since I was a kid...
[08:35] Selby
    But I mean, if she happens to
    have a cute friend or something,
[08:38] Selby
    she could introduce me, maybe.
[08:42] Balgo
    I knew it. I figured you
    had some ulterior motive.
[08:46] Selby
    I saved your life, remember?
[08:49] Selby
    If I hadn't saved you back when we were
    seven, you wouldn't be here right now.
[08:54] Selby
    Man, that really hurt back then.
[09:14] Ninny
    Talk about the boonies.
[09:16] Noel
    I think it's lovely here. It's very peaceful.
[09:21] Ninny
    Nope, nope, nope!
[09:23] Ninny
    I wanna hurry up and climb the ladder, join
    the Sabres, and protect the city of London!
[09:28] Ninny
    Don't you feel the same?
[09:29] Noel
    I'm fine with how things are now.
[09:31] Noel
    This suits me quite well.
[09:33] Man A
    Hey!
[09:37] Man A
    Are you the witches from Wing Bind?
[09:40] Noel
    It's a pleasure to meet you.
     I'm 1st Umbrella Niihashi.
[09:44] Noel
    This is 2nd Umbrella Spangcole.
[09:46] Ninny
    Uh, hello? Don't introduce me
     like I'm your junior!
[09:50] Man A
    Well, aren't you a couple
    of adorable witches?
[09:53] Man A
    Sorry this is so sudden, but I'd like
    some help with a Rank-A harvest today.
[10:00] Ninny
    In Japan, don't you...
[10:02] Ninny
    kill all dragons, no questions asked?
[10:04] Ninny
    I mean, I guess this is less barbaric, but...
[10:07] Noel
    I wouldn't know. I was born in London.
[10:10] Ninny
    Why don't you know?!
    Act Japanese for once!
[10:14] Ninny
    But what I'm saying is...
[10:17] Ninny
    there's no reason we should have to go
    through this... just to get some grapes...
[10:22] Ninny
    for some damn champagne!
[10:24] Noel
    What else can we do?
[10:26] Noel
    If a civilian were to
    touch a dragon directly...
[10:29] Noel
    Worst case, they'd get the death penalty.
[10:32] Noel
    When dragons make contact with humans,
[10:34] Noel
    they absorb all of their negative emotions,
     and turn into dark dragons.
[10:40] Noel
    We witches exist to be a bridge
    between humans and dragons.
[10:45] Noel
    Please stop yapping and
    just hurry up and climb.
[10:48] Ninny
    Where do you get off talking
    to your senior like that?
[10:52] Ninny
    And how the heck are you not out of breath?
[11:00] Ninny
    That reeks!
[11:02] Ninny
    Where the heck are these grapes
    supposed to be, anyway?
[11:08] Noel
    Inside their nostrils.
[11:12] Ninny
    Seriously? This is the worst.
[11:14] Ninny
    I wanna get promoted already!
[11:17] Noel
    Yes, yes.
[11:20] Selby
    Well? Find anything?
[11:22] Balgo
    That's so weird.
[11:27] Balgo
    I could've sworn she went
    into this telephone booth.
[11:31] Selby
    I'm telling you, you dreamed it.
[11:34] Selby
    Or rather, it was a delusion.
[11:36] Balgo
    I'm telling the truth.
[11:38] Balgo
    When I came to, this thing had been replaced
     by a manhole or something with "WB" on it.
[11:43] Selby
    "WB"?
[11:45] Balgo
    Yeah.
[11:47] Balgo
    If it was Reverse London,
     it should've been "RL."
[11:55] Selby
    Let's head back.
[11:57] Selby
    It's almost time to feed Osushi.
[12:00] Selby
    It suits you way more to just be
     in a daze thinking about panties.
[12:05] Balgo
    Y-You moron!
[12:06] Balgo
    I'm still thinking about panties
    even at this very moment!
[12:24] Balgo
    Ow...
[12:28] Balgo
    Osushi!
[12:34] Balgo
    O-Osushi?
[12:49] Ninny
    Your ringtone...
[12:50] Ninny
    That's the Dragon Ball recap music!
[12:53] Ninny
    You're totally acting Japanese!
[12:55] Noel
    Hello. Niihashi here.
[12:57] Billy
    Oh, thank goodness you answered.
[12:59] Billy
    I have a favor to ask.
[13:02] Billy
    Could you wrap up that harvest job
    and do an extermination job instead?
[13:08] Noel
    No. I'm hanging up now.
[13:10] Billy
    You're joking, right? Don't hang up!
    At least let me explain!
[13:13] Ninny
    Who is it?
[13:14] Noel
    Chief must be half asleep.
    He's asking us to do an extermination job.
[13:18] Ninny
    Huh?!
[13:19] Billy
    I can hear you.
[13:21] Billy
    You see, the Sabres are up north
    for a practice exercise.
[13:26] Noel
    So why does that mean we have to go?
[13:31] Ninny
    You already know why.
[13:33] Ninny
    It's because we're the
    strongest Pipers out there.
[13:37] Ninny
    The location is South Braxton.
[13:41] Ninny
    Noel, you have a coin that
    goes directly there, don't you?
[13:44] Ninny
    Niiha!
[13:46] Ninny
    We don't have time to get there with
     a phonegate! Let's use the coingate!
[13:50] Noel
    You seem awfully happy.
[13:52] Ninny
    Of course I am.
[13:53] Ninny
    This is my chance.
[13:55] Ninny
    We're gonna save London,
    make everyone take notice of us,
[13:58] Ninny
    and I'm gonna be promoted to the Sabres!
[14:15] Selby
    This way!
[14:17] Balgo
    Ow!
[14:19] Balgo
    Something's there!
    Something's there, isn't it?!
[14:23] Selby
    There sure is!
[14:24] Selby
    I can't see it, but it's definitely nearby!
[14:27] Selby
    H-Hang in there, Osushi!
[14:29] Selby
    I'll protect you!
[14:34] Selby
    It's coming! It's coming! It's coming!
[14:43] Ninny
    There it is! The dark dragon!
[14:47] Noel
    We were able to appear right
    where the sensor indicated.
[14:49] Ninny
    Of course we were.
[14:51] Ninny
    But what the heck is this thing
    doing in Front London?
[14:55] Noel
    It is quite strange.
[14:57] Noel
    How did it conceal itself until
    it was able to get this large?
[15:02] Osushi Dragon
    Noel...
[15:04] Osushi Dragon
    Let me see... your panties!
[15:10] Ninny
    Say what now?
[15:11] Ninny
    Do you know what's going on?
[15:13] Ninny
    It said your name, so, uh...
[15:16] Noel
    Balgo!
[15:17] Noel
    I know you're there, Balgo! Get out here!
[15:21] Ninny
    Yup, you sure do.
[15:23] Balgo
    Whoa!
[15:24] Balgo
    N-N-Noel is...
[15:27] Balgo
    She's flying?!
[15:30] Noel
    Contact with a dragon carries
    a 100-year sentence. Or worse...
[15:33] Noel
    The death penalty!
[15:33] Osushi Dragon
    Let me see... your panties!
[15:36] Balgo
    Sh-She's super mad for some reason.
[15:39] Balgo
    Oh, man! Her angry face is super cute, too!
[15:43] Ninny
    Ah, I see. So this is the Front London
     guy you keep talking about.
[15:47] Noel
    I will obey the rules and kill him.
[15:49] Ninny
    Now, hang on a sec.
[15:51] Osushi Dragon
    Let me see... your panties!
[15:52] Ninny
    Does that lump of fur
    he's carrying look familiar?
[15:55] Noel
    I think it's Osushi.
[15:57] Ninny
    What's with the super-Japanese name?
[16:00] Noel
    It's a puppy Balgo found.
    He was very fond of it.
[16:05] Ninny
    Must be a Disguiser.
[16:07] Noel
    I've never heard of them.
[16:09] Ninny
    They're dragons that use corpses as a
    disguise and become what the body is.
[16:14] Ninny
    They were everywhere
    until about the 18th century,
[16:16] Ninny
    but they cleaned up the city and
     their numbers went down, I heard.
[16:21] Balgo
    Hey! Noel!
[16:23] Selby
    How can you act like that
     when Osushi just died?
[16:28] Balgo
    Osushi's not dead!
    He's just a bit limper, that's all!
[16:32] Selby
    He's not limper, he's totally flat!
    That dragon chewed him open!
[16:37] Balgo
    Dragon? Can you actually see something?
[16:42] Ninny
    Safety first!
[16:44] Ninny
    First, I'm gonna take those two in.
[16:46] Ninny
    Niiha, you take care of the dark dragon!
[16:49] Noel
    Will Balgo get the death penalty?
[16:50] Niiha
    We don't get to decide that!
[16:59] Osushi Dragon
    Let me see... your panties!
[17:01] Ninny
    It's all right now. Just follow
    my directions and get to safety!
[17:07] Noel
    Wait, Ninny!
[17:16] Noel
    Ninny!
[17:23] Noel
    Osushi...
[17:28] Ninny
    Damn it.
[17:30] Selby
    Oh, come on. And I was so close, too.
[17:34] Selby
    I was planning to kill you all
     by ripping you apart, one by one.
[17:39] Balgo
    Huh? Selby?
[17:41] Selby
    Are you serious, Balgo?
    Do I still look like Selby to you?
[17:47] Balgo
    "Look like"?
[17:48] Balgo
    I can only hear your voice.
[17:51] Selby Dragon
    Hurry up and get out of here, Balgo.
[17:53] Selby Dragon
    It's not like I want to kill you.
[17:56] Selby Dragon
    I just want to eat a witch
    so I can become immortal.
[18:00] Ninny
    Sorry, but that's just a superstition.
[18:03] Selby Dragon
    Well, I won't know if it's a
    superstition or not until I eat you!
[18:13] Ninny
    A bit late on the support there!
[18:15] Noel
    I took care of the other thing,
    so I'd say I was pretty fast.
[18:22] Ninny
    So, two Disguisers, huh?
[18:25] Ninny
    Who's the other guy?
[18:26] Noel
    Selby. He's Balgo's childhood friend.
[18:30] Noel
    When they were seven,
    they were both almost hit by a train.
[18:33] Noel
    Apparently, Selby tried to protect
    Balgo and was badly injured.
[18:37] (Flashback) Rescue Worker
    He's still alive!
[18:40] Ninny
    That must've been when it started.
[18:42] Ninny
    A dragon that's been in the city and
    interacting with humans for that long...
[18:48] Selby Dragon
    Bet you've never seen one before.
[18:58] Noel
    Ninny!
[19:16] Balgo
    A-Are you okay, Noel's friend?
[19:20] Ninny
    What are you still doing here?
[19:26] Ninny
    Stop asking someone covered in blood
    stupid questions like, "Are you okay?"
[19:30] Ninny
    and get the heck outta here!
[19:32] Balgo
    S-Sorry. It's just, um...
[19:36] Balgo
    I couldn't just abandon...
[19:37] Selby Dragon
    Well, you should have...
[19:42] Selby Dragon
    Balgo.
[19:46] Selby Dragon
    I'm gonna eat her now.
[19:50] Selby Dragon
    Leave her.
[19:51] Selby Dragon
    Once I've eaten her and become immortal,
[19:54] Selby Dragon
    I'm willing to let Niihashi go.
[20:17] Balgo
    That hurts!
[20:24] Balgo
    Whoa! Your face is scary!
[20:26] Ninny
    You moron! What do you think you're doing?
[20:28] Ninny
    You love Niiha, don't you?
[20:31] Balgo
    What? You call Noel "Niiha"?
[20:33] Balgo
    Wow, that's new and kinda exciting!
[20:36] Ninny
    You're only feeling "excited"
    'cause you're losing a lot of blood!
[20:40] Selby Dragon
    What the hell are you doing, Balgo?
[20:43] Selby Dragon
    Did you fall for this chick, too?
[20:45] Selby Dragon
    Sorry, but you're gonna
    have to give up on her.
[20:47] Balgo
    No!
[20:49] Balgo
    The one I can't abandon is you,
[20:52] Balgo
    Selby!
[20:55] Selby Dragon
    What are you talking about?
[20:57] Selby Dragon
    Selby died protecting you
     when he was seven.
[21:00] Selby Dragon
    I just wore Selby's corpse and
    acted like him this whole time.
[21:06] Balgo
    So you traded places with him back then?
[21:09] Balgo
    But after that, it's been you the
    whole time, right? In that case...
[21:14] Balgo
    You've been Selby way
    longer than the real Selby!
[21:19] Balgo
    I might just be dense,
    but you were always kind.
[21:24] Balgo
    I've always thought of you
     as my best friend!
[21:28] Balgo
    How am I supposed to abandon you when
    you're saying you're gonna eat someone?!
[21:34] Selby Dragon
    Seriously?
[21:36] Selby Dragon
    If you can't understand what I'm saying...
[21:39] Selby Dragon
    then die.
[21:58] Balgo
    N-Noel?
[22:01] Noel
    Balgo.
[22:02] Balgo
    Y-Yes, ma'am?!
[22:04] Noel
    Just now...
[22:07] Noel
    You were actually slightly cool.
[22:27] Noel
    I accept your feelings, Balgo.
[22:38] Noel
    Absolute Dragon Shatter!
[22:59] Balgo
    Huh?
[23:00] Balgo
    No way.
[23:04] Balgo
    Wasn't this building up to him being
     spared because you were so moved?!
[23:09] Ninny
    Was it? When?
[23:12] Ninny
    Okay, that's a wrap.
[23:14] Ninny
    We kill dark dragons. Those are the rules.
     And our work here is done.
[23:18] Ninny
    Good job.
[23:22] Balgo
    What?!
[23:30] Ninny
    What?!
[23:32] Ninny
    What's the meaning of this?!
[23:36] Billy
    Well, you know how Balgo was in
    contact with a dragon for ten years?
[23:40] Billy
    On top of that, he got bitten,
    so he turned into a dragonclad.
[23:45] Ninny
    So what?! I don't know what
    a dragonclad or whatever is,
[23:49] Ninny
    but shouldn't he be
    getting the death penalty?!
[23:52] Billy
    Too bad.
[23:54] Billy
    Dragonclads are essentially dragons,
    so we have to treat them as such.
[24:01] Billy
    And so, we're going to
    be keeping Balgo here.
[24:05] Billy
    So good luck with that.
[24:12] Ninny
    H-Hey, wait a minute, Billy!
[24:14] Ninny
    Listen here...
[24:15] Osushi
    Noel.
[24:16] Ninny
    He's so fast! Where'd you go?
[24:18] Osushi
    Let me see your panties.
[24:21] Balgo
    Well, uh, you know...
[24:24] Osushi
    Noel, let me see your panties!
[24:28] Balgo
    I swear he just learned that on his own!
[24:30] Balgo
    But y'know, we should be
    focusing on how amazing Osushi is,
[24:33] Balgo
    instead of the words he keeps saying!
    They're really not that deep!
[26:31] Noel
    Okay, okay. Line up, please.
[26:36] Noel
    I'll make sure to give you all some.
[26:46] Noel
    Thanks, Wordsworth.
[26:59] Balgo
    You're still as cute as ever!
[27:01] Balgo
    You'll get the Nobel Prize for
     Cuteness ten years in a row!
[27:05] Balgo
    Don't lick both... my nose and mouth...
    at once... I can't breathe...
[27:17] Noel
    Balgo.
[27:18] Balgo
    Yes, ma'am! You called?
[27:20] Noel
    Could you answer this for me?
[27:25] Balgo
    Huh? Hey, it's Ninny!
    Should I really be answering this?
[27:33] Balgo
    Hell—
[27:34] Ninny
    Niiha!
[27:35] Ninny
    Why the heck are you on today's
    Wing Bind Head Liners and I'm not?!
[27:41] Ninny
    I definitely did most of the work!
[27:44] Balgo
    U-Um... I'm sorry.
    I have no idea what you're talking about—
[27:48] Ninny
    Hey! Why the heck are you
    answering Niiha's phone?!
[27:52] Balgo
    No idea...
[27:53] Ninny
    Do you think you're super close now
    just because it's her week to look after you?
[27:58] Ninny
    Who do you think you are?!
[28:00] Ninny
    Only I'm allowed to answer
    Niiha's phone without permission!
[28:04] Balgo
    It seems like she's mad at me
     now for some reason!
[28:08] Noel
    That's why I had you answer my phone.
[28:10] Noel
    Also, no one's allowed to answer
    my phone without my permission.
[28:18] Billy
    Ninny, Noel, you around? It's your chief.
[28:22] Billy
    There's an emergency, so I was
    hoping you could head to the office.
[28:27] Noel
    No. It's Saturday.
[28:30] Ninny
    Are you stupid?
    I'm gonna hop in the shower.
[28:34] Billy
    Aw, too bad. This job was worth
    five times the pay and points, too.