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E2 - Earth Robot: Ozma

Source: Crunchyroll
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names. This is handled on a best-effort basis depending on how the subtitle file was created so they may be incomplete or inaccurate. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:20] Nona
    A vast, well-maintained green land.
[01:24] Nona
    A great lake, so large
    I thought it was the ocean.
[01:27] Nona
    After climbing a mountain,
    I looked out from the summit
[01:30] Nona
    and saw a mountain range
    stretching into the distance.
[01:32] Nona
    Everything on this planet is on a grand scale!
[01:34] Nona
    That's a planet of giants for you!
SIGN    Episode Two
    "Earth Robot: Ozma"
[01:37] Haruto
    Taking a figure around
    and taking pictures of it...
[01:40] Haruto
    I see why people get addicted to this.
[01:43] Haruto
    Nona was happy, too.
[01:45] Haruto
    But can I really continue like this?
[01:47] Haruto
    Will I be able to keep the truth hidden?
[01:51] Nona
    Professor, are you tired?
[01:54] Haruto
    Oh, not especially.
[01:55] Haruto
    Say, since we went on an excursion today,
    would you like to take a bath?
[01:58] Nona
    Really? I'd love to!
[02:00] Nona
    You know, I really love baths!
[02:04] Haruto
    Yes. I know.
[02:05] Haruto
    After all, I am super obsessed with
    your anime,
Planetary Explorer Girl*.
[02:11] Haruto
    Or rather, with you...
[02:14] Ozma
    Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
[02:16] Haruto
    Wh-What's this?
[02:17] Ozma
    The hell?! You idjits! Damn it!
[02:21] Nona
[02:22] Nona
[02:24] Ozma
    That moron...
[02:27] Nona
    Professor! This is Earth Robot Ozma.
[02:30] Nona
    He talks rough, but he's super brainy!
    He acts as my support.
[02:34] Nona
    Ozma. This is...
[02:36] Ozma
    Oh, Professor Bouida, right?
[02:39] Haruto
[02:42] Haruto
    When they first showed a bath
    scene of Nona in the anime...
[02:46] Haruto
    "She... She can take all of that off?"
[02:49] Haruto
    Everyone was shocked.
    They couldn't stop talking about it, Ozma-kun.
[02:52] Ozma
    Why don't we talk about stuff
    that's shocking right now?
[02:56] Ozma
    See? I'm moving, too.
[02:59] Haruto
    I don't remember buying you, though.
[03:01] Ozma
    I was in the same box as Nona!
    You should know that, jerk!
[03:05] Ozma
    Just now, in front of Nona,
    I went along with the story,
[03:08] Ozma
    but my specialty is information gathering.
[03:10] Ozma
    I know that this is the real Earth
    and that we're just figures.
[03:15] Haruto
[03:16] Ozma
    Listen up, ya jerk.
[03:18] Haruto
    Try anything funny with Nona
[03:20] Haruto
    and I'll tell her about us being figures
    and who you really are, get it?
[03:23] Haruto
    Wha? You! You're just a bonus toy!
[03:26] Ozma
    You also know about my
    stealth abilities, too, don't you?
[03:30] Ozma
    I'll be keeping an eye on you.
[03:32] Haruto
    It's true. I know every detail
    about each of you.
SIGN    Seasoned Nori
[03:37] Ozma
    Huh? What're you doing?
SIGN    Seasoned Nori
[03:39] Haruto
    Ozma. I don't trust you.
[03:42] Ozma
    Wh-What are you talking about?
    I'm Nona's number one ally!
[03:46] Haruto
    No, this emotion I feel
    toward you... is revulsion.
[03:51] Haruto
    I don't know why,
[03:53] Haruto
    but I feel you have the potential
    to hurt Nona and make her sad.
[03:56] Haruto
    My heart screams it!
[03:59] Ozma
    I-I don't get it! What the heck
    is that supposed to mean?
[04:02] Ozma
    But he even knows about my habit*
    of hiding in jar-shaped objects.
[04:06] Ozma
    Could his knowledge be the real thing?
[04:08] Haruto
    Hey, Ozma. I don't want to make her sad.
[04:12] Haruto
    I want her to live here on this planet happy
    and healthy, never knowing the truth.
[04:17] Ozma
    Uh. Hey.
[04:19] Haruto
    What is it?
[04:20] Ozma
    Um... I feel like it might be too late for that.
[04:24] Ozma
    How long have you been listening, Nona?
[04:26] Nona
    I may be a little ditzy, but even
    I noticed something was odd.
[04:31] Nona
    So, you have been hiding
    something from me, haven't you?
[04:36] Nona
    What is this?
[04:37] Nona
    Ozma, did you know?
[04:40] Ozma
[04:41] Nona
    Are you treating me like a child?
[04:43] Nona
    Because I look like a girl?
[04:45] Nona
    Being treated this way,
    protected like this, hurts my pride!
[04:49] Nona
    Professor Bouida...
[04:50] Nona
    No. Who are you really?
[04:53] Nona
    Tell me! Who are you?
[04:58] Ozma
    Oh! He ran away!
[05:03] Ozma
    Hey, you gonna be okay?
[05:05] Ozma
    Was her getting mad that much of a shock?
[05:07] Haruto
    Quite the opposite.
[05:08] Ozma
[05:09] Haruto
    I am currently crazy happy!
[05:12] Ozma
[05:13] Haruto
    In her rage, I felt her true emotions, her self!
[05:17] Haruto
    I feel like I've connected with
    the real her for the first time.
[05:20] Ozma
    I-I see. You really are a
    weird one, aren't you?
[05:24] Haruto
    It would have turned out
    like this sooner or later.
[05:26] Haruto
    I must brace for the worst!
[05:28] Nona
    Background documents?
[05:30] Nona
    What are these? Is this me?
[05:33] Nona
    It's stuff about me I don't know.
[05:35] Haruto
    That's your DP system.
[05:38] Haruto
    It's set up so that it only activates
    under specific conditions,
[05:41] Haruto
    and you don't remember anything afterwards.
[05:44] Haruto
    Here's the novel. This is the original
    work everything is based on.
SIGN    Planetary Explorer Girl
[05:48] Nona
    Oh, my! Everything I've
    experienced is written down!
[05:53] Ozma
    There's tons more here!
[05:54] Nona
    That's amazing!
[05:55] Haruto
    And this is the main event.
[05:57] Haruto
    Brace yourself and take a look.
SIGN    Stars are so distant from us. If only we could become fairy tales...
[06:00] Haruto
    Complete plastic figure,
    Planetary Explorer Girl's Nona.
[06:05] Nona
    At 1/6 scale, approximately 25 cm...
[06:09] Nona
    This is me?
[06:11] Nona
    Oh! It's exactly right!
[06:13] Haruto
    The animation. This is the primary media.
[06:17] Haruto
    It aired seven years ago.
    26 episodes in total.
[06:20] Nona
    I see. I understand now.
[06:23] Nona
    If I look at all the materials,
    the answer I get is...
[06:28] Nona
    I'm... fictional?
[06:32] Haruto
[06:37] Nona
[06:39] Nona
    All the things I've experienced,
    my adventures, my discoveries!
[06:41] Nona
    They can't be something someone made up!
[06:44] Haruto
    C-Calm down!
    Don't throw your own merchandise!
[06:47] Nona
    If you were told your whole life
    was an anime, how would you feel?
[06:52] Haruto
    I would hate that.
[06:54] Haruto
    I would hate an anime like that.
[06:55] Nona
    I can't! I can't! I can't! I can't! I can't!
[06:58] Nona
    How can I possibly marry anyone now!
[07:01] Haruto
[07:02] Haruto
    When you look at all of this...
    is that really all you feel?
[07:06] Haruto
    And you call yourself a
    high-performance space probe?
[07:08] Nona
    All of that's just my description
    from the anime!
[07:11] Haruto
    Please, listen.
[07:13] Haruto
    I love you!
[07:15] Haruto
    Uh, I mean...
[07:16] Haruto
    So many people watched the anime
    and came to love you, including me.
[07:22] Haruto
    We were happy with you
    and sad when you were sad.
[07:26] Haruto
    We wished from the bottom of our hearts that
    your mission would end safely and successfully.
[07:30] Haruto
    When you were so lonely
    you didn't know what to do,
[07:32] Haruto
    you looked up at the stars and cried.
(Flashback) [07:35] Nona
    Don't forget me.
    Someone please tell me I'm not alone.
[07:41] Haruto
    Now, I can finally tell you in person.
[07:43] Haruto
    We won't forget.
[07:46] Haruto
    You are not alone.
[07:51] Ozma
    You might not be as bad as
    I thought, you obsessive freak.
[07:54] Haruto
    More importantly, how's Nona?
[07:56] Nona
    She was looking in your merchandise box
[07:58] Nona
    saying she wanted to see what
    other stuff there was.
[08:00] Haruto
    I see.
[08:01] Haruto
[08:02] Haruto
    Ozma. I just realized why
    I felt revulsion toward you.
[08:06] Ozma
    Huh? Seriously? What was it?
[08:08] Haruto
    This is bad. At the very bottom of that box is—
[08:14] Nona
    What are these thin volumes?
[08:16] Haruto
    Uh. Well. Those are... what you might
    call "thin volumes"... I suppose.
[08:21] Nona
    I can see that.
SIGN    Rumble Rumble Rumble
[08:23] Nona
    Is this what you meant when
    you said you loved me?
[08:26] Ozma
    Now, now, Nona.
[08:28] Ozma
    This guy's a perv, but he's not a bad guy...
[08:31] Nona
    Ozma. What is this?
[08:32] Nona
    Do you want to do this? Have you wanted to?
SIGN    Tentacles
SIGN    Bondage
[08:34] Ozma
    No way. I would never.
[08:36] Haruto
    That's right. Tons of Ozma's
    stories have this kind of this stuff,
[08:39] Haruto
    so I just started feeling
    revulsion towards him.
[08:41] Ozma
    All of that's slander, you jerk!
[08:43] Nona
    Neither of you come anywhere
    near me for the time being.
[08:45] Haruto & Ozma
[08:46] Haruto
    Whoa, she locked it!
[08:47] Ozma
    Hey, wait! Open the door!
[08:49] Haruto
    And somehow, two weeks have passed
    since Nona and Ozma started moving.
[08:54] Haruto
    It's done.
[08:57] Haruto
    Nona, are you watching TV again?
[09:00] Nona
[09:01] Nona
    Good job finishing your work.
[09:03] Nona
    What is it you do again?
[09:05] Haruto
    Well... I'm a work-from-home programmer.
[09:10] Nona
    I see. I don't know what that is.
[09:12] Nona
    Want some?
[09:14] Haruto
    Wait. Nona! Enough is enough!
[09:17] Haruto
    You're an SF anime lead character!
[09:19] Haruto
    Ever since then, you've been lying around,
    watching talk shows and eating chocolate...
[09:22] Haruto
    Are you the wife in a four-panel family comic?
[09:25] Haruto
    Finding your happiness...
[09:27] Haruto
    If there's anything I can do, I'll do it.
[09:31] Nona
    Bouida-san, do you love me?
[09:33] Haruto
    Huh? Yeah, I mean, yes, I do.
[09:36] Haruto
    But, you know... as a fan...
[09:38] Nona
[09:39] Nona
    The thing is, I found this at the very bottom
    of that box with all the merchandise in it.
SIGN    Marriage Registration
[09:47] Nona
    My name is written on it.
[09:49] Nona
    Does this mean that...
[09:52] Haruto
    Uh... no... It's not like that.
[09:54] Nona
    I understand. I'm just one of lots of
    girls from lots of anime that you love.
[10:00] Haruto
    No, it's just you!
[10:02] Haruto
    It's true that there are a lot of
    girls in anime that I like,
[10:05] Haruto
    but you're the only one that
    I've felt certain about...
[10:07] Haruto
    That I've written something like this for!
[10:11] Nona
    I'm a space probe made to work for others.
[10:13] Nona
    No matter the form, if someone
    wants me, that is happiness for me!
[10:18] Nona
    If you'll have me, I'd be happy to!
[10:22] Haruto
    Does this mean my dream will come true?
[10:27] Haruto
    Of course! I hope you'll have me!
[10:31] Haruto
    Um. Nona-san?
[10:33] Nona
[10:34] Haruto
    Um. What about our marriage?
[10:36] Nona
    Huh? We just did that.
[10:37] Nona
    Women who've just gotten married
    can watch TV and eat snacks all day, right?
[10:42] Haruto
    You! You totally learned that from watching TV!
[10:44] Nona
    Next, I guess we should fax it to mass
    media outlets and hold a press conference.
[10:48] Haruto
    And you've misunderstood a bunch of stuff!
[10:50] Nona
    Oh, right, Haruto-san.
[10:52] Nona
    Now that we're married,
    you should only look at me. Okay?
[10:56] Nona
    No other females, whether they're anime or real.
[10:59] Nona
    I will never forgive you cheating on me!
[11:07] Nona
    A... girl?