E2 - So Much For Childhood Friends

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Masachika
    Yuki, you here?
[00:07] Yuki
    Oh, Masachika-kun. Thank you for coming.
[00:10] Masachika
    No problem. What's this about?
[00:12] Yuki
    You could start with some pleasantries.
[00:14] Yuki
    How about, "Sorry, did you wait long?"
[00:18] Masachika
    Sorry, did you wait long?
[00:20] Yuki
    Yeah, you really kept me waiting!
[00:23] Alya
    You two sure get along.
[00:25] Masachika
    Didn't know you were here, Alya.
[00:27] Alya
    I sure am. Sorry for being the third wheel.
[00:31] Masachika
    Welp...
[00:33] Masachika
    This jerk set me up.
[00:36] Masachika
    So, you want me to help
    sort out everything in storage?
[00:40] Yuki
    Yes.
[00:42] Masachika
    Hup.
[00:43] Yuki
    Of course you'd be at home doing this.
[00:46] Masachika
    I guess.
[00:47] Yuki
    Could you help me out for a second here?
[00:51] Masachika
    Hmm? Board games?
[00:56] Masachika
    Here.
[00:57] Yuki
    Thank you kindly.
[00:59] Masachika
    I see cards, too.
[01:01] Yuki
    We use these for school festival events.
[01:04] Yuki
    I also happened to play during the new
    student council's get-together the other day.
[01:09] Masachika
    Huh. Who won, by the way?
[01:12] Yuki
    Um... I suppose I was technically the winner...
[01:17] Masachika
    Figures.
[01:18] Alya
    Less chatting, more working.
[01:21] Masachika
    Oops, sorry.
[01:22] Yuki
    Pardon us, Alisa-san.
SIGN    Give me attention, too.
SIGN    Come to me. Come to me.
[01:37] Masachika
    What is she thinking? Isn't that embarrassing?!
[01:42] Alya
    I'm throwing myself at him, and he has no idea.
SIGN    Come to me. Come to me.
SIGN    Student Council Office
[01:56] Yuki
    Great work, Masachika-kun.
[01:59] Alya
    Thanks. You were a big help.
[02:00] Masachika
    Sure.
[02:02] Toya
    What, already done?
[02:05] Yuki
    Yes.
[02:06] Yuki
    Kuze-kun helped us out.
[02:08] Toya
    Oh, so you're Kuze.
[02:11] Toya
    I'm Kenzaki, the student council president.
SIGN    Sometimes
SIGN    in Russian
SIGN    Hides Her
SIGN    Feelings
SIGN    Alya Sometimes Hides
    Her Feelings in Russian
[03:45] Toya
    I've heard lots about you and how talented you are.
SIGN    Episode 2
SIGN    So Much For Childhood Friends
[03:49] Masachika
    Gee, thanks.
[03:51] Masachika
    Yeah, he definitely has an aura about him.
[03:55] Masachika
    No wonder he's our superstar president.
[03:58] Masachika
    See you later, then.
[04:01] Toya
    Hold up.
[04:03] Toya
    I'd feel bad sending you off
    empty-handed after all your help.
[04:06] Toya
    Let me buy you dinner.
[04:09] Masachika
    It's fine. Appreciate the thought, though.
[04:11] Yuki
    Why not accept?
[04:13] Yuki
    You won't have dinner ready for you
    when you get home, anyway.
[04:17] Toya
    Huh?
[04:18] Toya
    How do you know what he has going on at home?
[04:21] Yuki
    We go way back.
[04:24] Toya
    Yeah?
[04:25] Toya
    Perfect, then. You two join us,
    Suou and Kujo Junior.
[04:30] Yuki
    Thank you for offering.
[04:32] Alya
    Very well.
[04:33] Masachika
    Seriously?
[04:38] Toya
    It's not like a casual diner costs much!
[04:41] Toya
    Anyway, I'm impressed you finished so quickly.
[04:45] Toya
    I was expecting it to take until tomorrow.
[04:48] Yuki
    Masachika-kun's amazing.
[04:50] Yuki
    He can handle physical labor
    and paperwork like it's nothing,
[04:53] Yuki
    and he's an expert emcee and negotiator.
[04:56] Masachika
    Quit hyping me up.
[04:58] Toya
    It's not often Suou goes
    overboard with the praise.
[05:01] Toya
    Kuze, any interest
    in joining the student council?
[05:04] Masachika
    Sorry, but I'm done with
    student council work forever.
[05:08] Masachika
    I had enough in middle school.
[05:10] Toya
    Hmm. Being part of the student council
    at our high school is certainly a lot of work,
[05:15] Toya
    but it comes with its own benefits.
[05:17] Toya
    If I may be blunt,
[05:19] Toya
    it'll have a massive effect
    on your recommendation.
[05:23] Masachika
    Hate to break it to you,
    but I'm not much of a go-getter.
[05:27] Yuki
    Come on, please join us.
[05:29] Yuki
    Let's run for office together again.
[05:32] Masachika
    Don't suggest that so casually!
[05:34] Masachika
    And heck, do you even need me?
    You're a shoo-in to be the next president anyway.
[05:39] Yuki
    But I want to run the
    student council with you.
[05:43] Masachika
    Nope! Can't be bothered!
[05:46] Toya
    I must correct you, Kuze.
    Suou is far from being a shoo-in.
[05:51] Toya
    We have other candidates.
[05:53] Toya
    Chief among them is Kujo Junior over here.
[05:57] Masachika
    Alya?
[05:59] Alya
    Yeah. I'll be running against
    Suou-san next year.
[06:07] Waitress
    Here's your order!
[06:11] All
    Thanks for the meal.
[06:13] Toya
    Sure.
[06:13] Toya
    Suou and I are going this way.
[06:15] Toya
    You walk Kujo Junior home, Kuze.
[06:18] Masachika
    Sure.
[06:20] Masachika
    Okay, shall we go?
[06:22] Alya
    It's fine. You don't need to walk me.
[06:25] Masachika
    You know that's not gonna fly.
[06:32] Masachika
    Alya.
[06:33] Alya
    What?
[06:35] Masachika
    Are you really gonna run
     for student council president?
[06:38] Alya
    I am. I said as much earlier.
[06:42] Masachika
    Huh...
[06:46] Alya
    I'll be fine from here. Thanks.
[06:49] Masachika
    Yeah?
[06:50] Alya
    Bye.
[06:51] Masachika
    Bye.
[07:12] Yuki
    Welcome back.
[07:13] Yuki
    Did you walk Alya-san home?
[07:15] Masachika
    What're you doing here?
[07:17] Yuki
    I'm staying here tonight.
[07:19] Masachika
    News to me.
[07:20] Yuki
    It's breaking now.
SIGN    Teach Me How to Love 2
[07:22] Yuki
    Ah, yes, an unknown hot guy
    walking with the heroine.
[07:26] Yuki
    Gotta be her brother.
    Older, from the looks of it.
[07:29] Yuki
    Man, that should be obvious.
[07:32] Yuki
    Why won't the protag realize?
[07:35] Masachika
    Uh, you're one to talk.
[07:36] Yuki
    Huh?
[07:37] Masachika
    You're one to talk when you're pretending
    to be my childhood friend in school.
[07:41] Yuki
    What? It's not a lie!
[07:44] Yuki
    Do you even know what a childhood friend is?
[07:47] Masachika
    Someone you got along with growing up, right?
[07:50] Yuki
    Exactly!
[07:51] Yuki
    That includes siblings!
[07:54] Yuki
    "Childhood friend," "otaku buddy,"
    and "sister" can all be true at the same time!
[07:59] Masachika
    What a weird interpretation.
[08:01] Yuki
    More like a big-brain interpretation
    of constantly evolving language!
[08:08] Yuki
    Whoa, timeout!
[08:11] Yuki
    It really was the heroine's big bro with her.
[08:14] Masachika
    Classic trope.
[08:16] Yuki
    He's kissing the heroine now.
[08:17] Masachika
    For real?!
[08:19] Yuki
    For real.
[08:20] Yuki
    Damn, we're getting some wincest.
[08:23] Masachika
    Wait, hold on.
[08:25] Masachika
    Think about it. They've gotta be
    step-siblings or something.
[08:29] Yuki
    You moron!
[08:31] Yuki
    It's only good when they're blood-related!
SIGN    Suou Yuki
SIGN    Masachika's actual
    little sister
[08:40] Masachika
    Bwof!
[08:42] Yuki
    Good morning, my brother.
[08:45] Masachika
    It stopped being good a few seconds ago.
[08:48] Yuki
    Come on, now. Your dearest little sister's
    waking you up with love and warmth.
[08:53] Yuki
    Rejoice.
[08:54] Masachika
    Yeah, I'm not letting you spin this.
[08:56] Masachika
    This is just DV.
[08:58] Yuki
    DV? "Dear Venus"?
[09:00] Yuki
    Aw, big bro, you love me so!
[09:04] Masachika
    Domestic violence!
[09:08] Yuki
    Fine, have it your way.
[09:10] Yuki
    Next time, I'll hide under your bed
    and grab your leg as you get out.
[09:15] Masachika
    What are you even trying to be in life?
[09:18] Masachika
    Yeesh. Get off already.
[09:21] Yuki
    Why?
[09:22] Yuki
    Getting a stiffy?
[09:23] Masachika
    Die.
[09:25] Yuki
    All right, rise and shine.
[09:27] Yuki
    You have a date with your dearest little sis!
SIGN    Animated Movie
SIGN    Exciting Boogaloo
SIGN    Space Girl Chii
[09:33] Masachika
    Yeah, that was pretty good.
[09:36] Yuki
    So good.
[09:38] Yuki
    The movie-exclusive relationship moments
    that are never in the TV show...
[09:41] Yuki
    So good!
[09:42] Yuki
    Okay, time to rewatch!
[09:45] Masachika
    Yeah, no! We're supposed to go shopping!
[09:46] Yuki
    Unhand me! The movie is calling my name!
[09:47] Masachika
    Whoa! Quit lining up for tickets!
[09:52] Yuki
    I've been wanting a new summery dress.
[09:56] Yuki
    But I'm about to go broke buying merch.
[10:00] Masachika
    Ouch! This is 15,000 yen?!
[10:03] Yuki
    Women's fashion costs a lot
    for every inch of fabric.
[10:07] Masachika
    You don't say.
[10:09] Masachika
    As an aside, sister of mine.
[10:11] Yuki
    What is it, beloved brother of mine?
[10:13] Masachika
    Is it just me who's been seeing a silver
    something in the corner of my eye?
[10:18] Yuki
    Not just you, my brother.
[10:21] Masachika
    Figures.
[10:23] Masachika
    You've undone your ponytail and
    switched to prim-and-proper rich girl mode.
[10:28] Yuki
    I noticed a long time before you did, bro.
[10:32] Masachika
    Really? When?
[10:33] Yuki
    Pretty soon after we came down to this floor.
[10:36] Masachika
    That long ago? I'm impressed.
[10:39] Yuki
    Hmph. I possess a hyper sixth sense
    for detecting the gaze of people I know.
[10:44] Masachika
    Seriously?
[10:45] Masachika
    Doesn't saying that make you cringe?
[10:48] Yuki
    I'm cringing hard.
[10:50] Masachika
    Nothing to be smug about!
[10:52] Masachika
    Now, how do I solve this problem at hand?
[10:54] Yuki
    My, Alisa-san?
[10:56] Masachika
    Sister of mine!
[11:00] Masachika
    Hey, it's Alya. What a coincidence.
[11:06] Alya
    Y-Yes, quite the coincidence.
[11:08] Alya
    I spotted you two a few moments ago,
    but I couldn't find the right time to say hi.
[11:14] Masachika
    "Few moments ago," my ass.
[11:14] Yuki
    "Few moments ago," my foot.
[11:17] Yuki
    What brings you here, Alisa-san?
[11:20] Alya
    Oh, clothes shopping.
[11:22] Yuki
    Is that so? Have you had lunch already?
[11:25] Alya
    No, not yet.
[11:27] Yuki
    In that case, would you like to
    join us? We're about to—
[11:31] Masachika
    Hold up! Are you thinking of
    taking Alya to that restaurant?
[11:35] Yuki
    Is that a problem?
[11:37] Yuki
    You were looking forward to it.
[11:40] Masachika
    It's clearly a problem!
[11:42] Masachika
    We should go somewhere else
    if we're taking Alya.
[11:44] Alya
    What? What's the problem?
[11:47] Yuki
    Do you dislike spicy food?
[11:51] Alisa
    Spicy food?
SIGN    Pon Curry
     Mild
[11:53] Alisa
    No, I don't particularly.
SIGN    Pon Curry
     Mild
[11:55] Yuki
    We were about to go to a restaurant
    that serves spicy ramen.
[11:59] Yuki
    If you don't dislike spicy food, join us.
[12:02] Masachika
    Stop downplaying it.
[12:04] Masachika
    Alya, let me be straight with you.
[12:07] Masachika
    It's not just spicy. That place
    serves super spicy ramen.
[12:10] Alya
    I'll go.
[12:11] Masachika
    You don't have to come with us
    if you don't want to.
[12:13] Alya
    What, do you have
    a problem with my presence?
[12:16] Masachika
    That's not what I mean.
SIGN    Hell's
    Cauldron
SIGN    Hell's Cauldron
[12:22] Alya
    Is this it?
[12:24] Yuki
    It is.
[12:25] Alya
    It's called Hell's Cauldron?
[12:28] Alya
    You said it's a ramen place, right?
[12:30] Yuki
    It very much is.
[12:31] Alya
    Why does it have "hell" in the name?
[12:34] Yuki
    Rest assured, it's in all
    the dishes' names, too.
[12:38] Alya
    That so?
[12:40] Masachika
    Having second thoughts?
[12:41] Alya
    Of course not!
[12:43] Alya
    I simply needed a moment
    to process how unique this place is.
[12:47] Masachika
    I see.
[12:49] Waiter
    Welcome!
[12:51] Waiter
    Table for three? This way, please.
SIGN    Hell's Cauldron
SIGN    Our trademark three stages of hell
SIGN    Pool of
    Blood Hell
SIGN    Our most popular offering
SIGN    Pincushion
    Hell
SIGN    Piercing heat
SIGN    Infinite Hell
SIGN    Makes even the demons of hell squirm
[12:56] Alya
    I have no idea what any of this means.
[12:58] Masachika
    Yep.
[12:59] Yuki
    Pool of Blood Hell is a ramen
    with bright-red soup.
[13:03] Yuki
    It has the least heat on this menu.
[13:05] Yuki
    Pincushion Hell is so hot,
[13:07] Yuki
    it feels like your tongue is being
    pierced by countless needles.
[13:12] Alya
    What's this "Infinite Hell" at the bottom?
[13:15] Yuki
    Apparently, it's so spicy that your entire
    mouth just goes completely numb.
[13:20] Masachika
    I think I'll go with Pool of Blood Hell.
[13:23] Masachika
    Can't get too adventurous with your order
    when it's your first time at a restaurant.
[13:27] Alya
    R-Right. It's good to start with the basics.
[13:31] Yuki
    Are you both ordering that?
[13:34] Yuki
    In that case, I'll have the same thing myself.
[13:38] Waiter
    Three Pools of Blood for Table 5!
[13:44] Alya
    You're dressed quite
    boyishly today, Suou-san.
[13:49] Alya
    It caught me by surprise.
[13:51] Yuki
    It is a day off, so I went with this for
    a change of pace in my private time.
[13:55] Alya
    Yeah? "Private time," huh?
[14:00] Yuki
    You see, I was in bed
    with Masachika-kun this morning.
[14:04] Alya
    In bed... with him?
[14:07] Yuki
    Yes. And because I wanted to wear
    something different today,
[14:13] Yuki
    I asked him to let me borrow this shirt.
[14:16] Alya
    What's the meaning of this?
[14:18] Masachika
    Wait, she just showed up at my place,
[14:20] Masachika
    entered my room, and jumped
    in my bed all by herself, believe me!
[14:23] Alya
    Oh, really?
[14:25] Masachika
    Not buying it, huh?
[14:26] Waiter
    Here's your order.
    Three Pools of Blood.
[14:33] Masachika
    Here we go.
[14:35] Yuki
    Let's dig in before it gets soggy.
[14:37] Masachika
    Yeah.
[14:39] Alya
    R-Right...
[15:03] Masachika
    You okay there, Alya?
[15:06] Alya
    Yeah, this is very good.
[15:13] Masachika
    Oh, this is great.
[15:14] Yuki
    Isn't it? The chilies accentuate
    the ingredients very well.
SIGN    Help, it hurts.
[15:23] Masachika
    Seriously, Alya, you don't have to
    push yourself.
[15:26] Alya
    What are you talking about? I said it's good.
[15:28] Masachika
    Uh, you said "it hurts."
SIGN    I can't...
SIGN    Mama...
[15:41] Masachika
    Alya—
[15:41] Yuki
    How do you like it, Alisa-san?
[15:44] Alisa
    This is delicious.
[15:46] Yuki
    That's great. I'm so happy to hear that
    you enjoy super spicy food, too.
[15:51] Yuki
    At this restaurant,
[15:52] Yuki
    you can use this Devil's Tear seasoning
    to make your food even spicier.
[15:56] Yuki
    Would you like to try it?
[15:58] Masachika
    Hey, Yuki...
[16:02] Masachika
    She's doing this on purpose!
[16:05] Alya
    Y-Yeah, I think I will.
[16:08] Masachika
    Wait, Alya. You should really rethink this.
[16:11] Alya
    One little drop won't kill me.
[16:32] Masachika
    You alive, Alya?
[16:36] Alya
    Where's Suou-san?
[16:39] Masachika
    She ran off, saying she had something to buy.
[16:42] Alya
    Oh.
[16:43] Masachika
    You okay?
[16:45] Alya
    What do you mean?
[16:46] Masachika
    You know what I mean.
[16:50] Masachika
    Want some ice cream?
[16:53] Alya
    I do.
[17:03] Girl
    Mom, I want chocolate!
[17:08] Masachika
    Say, Alya.
[17:09] Alya
    What?
[17:10] Masachika
    Why do you wanna be
    student council president?
[17:13] Alya
    Because I want to.
[17:17] Alya
    Do I really need a reason to aim higher?
[17:24] Masachika
    Do you have a running mate?
[17:26] Alya
    I don't.
[17:27] Alya
    But that won't be a problem.
    I don't need anyone.
[17:31] Masachika
    Uh, that's not how it works.
    The rules say you have to run as a pair.
[17:37] Alya
    I just need a vice president on paper, right?
[17:41] Alya
    I'll try to find some
    random person to support me.
[17:44] Masachika
    Yeah?
SIGN    If only you would...
[17:56] (Flashback) Sayaka
    Dad...
[17:58] (Flashback) Sayaka
    Mom... I'm sorry.
[18:00] (Flashback) Sayaka
    I'm so sorry!
[18:10] Alya
    Kuze-kun, do you have any plans after this?
[18:13] Masachika
    Nah, not really.
[18:15] Alya
    What about Suou-san?
[18:16] Masachika
    I mean, we could just meet up later.
[18:20] Alya
    Yeah?
[18:21] Alya
    Then come help me out.
[18:23] Masachika
    With what?
[18:25] Masachika
    Oh, you did say you wanted to shop for clothes.
[18:27] Alya
    That's right.
[18:28] Masachika
    You sure about that?
[18:30] Masachika
    A dude helping a girl pick out clothes?
    That kinda implies a close relationship.
[18:36] Alya
    Really?
[18:38] Masachika
    Oh...
[18:40] Masachika
    Alya doesn't have friends
    to go clothes shopping with.
[18:43] Masachika
    So she doesn't get how it all works.
[18:46] Masachika
    Yeah, let me help.
[18:49] Alya
    What's gotten into you?
[18:51] Masachika
    We're friends, after all.
[18:53] Alya
    Something about that
    doesn't sit right.
[18:57] Masachika
    Don't worry about it.
[19:00] Alya
    Why'd he suddenly start being nice to me?
[19:04] Alya
    Wait, does he think I don't stand
    a chance of becoming president?
[19:08] Alya
    Stuff your pity!
[19:13] Alya
    Okay, I'll go change! Tell me what you think!
[19:16] Masachika
    You got it.
[19:17] Alya
    I'll blow his mind with my fashion show
    and show him who's boss!
[19:23] Alya
    Wait a second. He might hear me
    changing outside.
[19:28] Alya
    Kuze-kun! Move farther away!
[19:31] Masachika
    Gotcha.
[19:50] Alya
    Yes, I look nice, if I do say so myself.
[19:53] Alya
    All right!
[19:56] Alya
    What if he doesn't react?
[19:59] Masachika
    Oh, it's fine, I guess.
[20:02] Alya
    Hmph! Try it,
    and I'll slap your mouth off!
[20:09] Alya
    What do you say?
[20:10] Staff
    Wow, so pretty!
[20:13] Masachika
    Oh, you look great.
[20:16] Masachika
    That outfit ups your elegance and femininity
[20:19] Masachika
    and makes you look even prettier than usual.
[20:23] Alya
    Oh, really?
[20:24] Masachika
    Yeah.
[20:25] Alya
    Okay, next.
[20:28] Alya
    Huh? What was that?!
[20:30] Alya
    He praised the heck out of me!
[20:33] Masachika
    I can't! I can't handle this embarrassment!
[20:36] Masachika
    How does she do this all the time?!
[20:39] Customer1
    Teenage couple?
[20:41] Customer2
    How cute.
[20:42] Alya
    He said I was pretty...
[20:44] Alya
    He said I was pretty!
[20:52] Alya
    I didn't know he had it in him
    to compliment a girl right.
[20:55] Alya
    I'm impressed.
[20:57] Alya
    He's kind of... used to it?
[21:04] Alya
    Her outfit today was pretty boyish.
[21:08] Alya
    What do you say about this?
[21:10] Masachika
    Now you look really cool.
[21:14] Masachika
    You're more hot than cute,
    so I think it suits you.
[21:20] Alya
    O-Oh?
[21:21] Alya
    You think? Thanks.
[21:23] Alya
    Okay, next.
[21:26] Masachika
    Wow, that's lovely!
[21:29] Masachika
    Sexy suits you, too.
[21:31] Masachika
    Pretty.
[21:33] Masachika
    So pretty!
[21:34] Masachika
    You're so pretty.
SIGN    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
SIGN    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
    
    Pretty
[21:36] Alya
    Wow, this feels so good!
[21:41] Alya
    What next?
[21:44] Alya
    What next?
[21:49] Alya
    This may be a little too revealing.
[21:52] Alya
    But I'm sure Kuze-kun will like it.
[21:58] Alya
    How about this one?
[22:06] Yuki
    Wow, Alisa-san, you're so daring.
[22:09] Masachika
    Yep.
SIGN    I wanna disappear.
[22:20] Yuki
    What'd she say?
[22:22] Masachika
    She wants to disappear, apparently.
[22:24] Yuki
    Hah, what a big baby.
[22:27] Masachika
    Who're you supposed to be?
[22:37] Masachika
    See you Monday, Alya.
[22:41] Yuki
    Today was fun. We should hang out again.
[22:44] Alya
    Yeah, we should. Bye.
[22:52] Alya
    What was I thinking with that skimpy skirt?
[22:55] Alya
    They must think I'm a skank!
[23:01] Alya
    Wait, why'd they get off at the same station?
[23:05] Alya
    Huh?
[23:06] Alya
    Huh?
[23:07] Alya
    What?!